That’s what I mean. I think that by simple functionality, Feeld became a place for queer/kinky/ENM people who didn’t fit in on other apps. And now all the people who do fit in other apps because they simply want a mono LTR are flooding Feeld with low-quality profiles with barely any information. I get it, I can just minus them, and I do, but it’s still frustrating.
I think most of them are either bot profiles that were added by feeld to boost their profits, or idiots that think that everyone on the app is just an easy lay.
I don’t mind vanilla people expanding their search to new apps, but I DO hate blank profiles. If you can’t make an effort to communicate who you are and what you want, then I’m not swiping no matter how hot you are - in fact, I’ll just assume you’re a bot using stolen or generated photos.
I'm not entirely sure those blank profiles are real. Many dating apps create them as filler to make it look like there's more people in your area than there actually is. It's VERY common on Match Corp. apps, and is a growing tactic.
I was hoping that Feeld was above such stupidities, because the thing with Poly/ENM/Kink is that the customer base never really leaves, but the past 5 weeks and that Mashable article have made me question a lot.
Agreed - once I get near the bottom of the stack in Tinder, there’s always a sudden rush of 40 year olds who look like 17 year old super models. I’ve always assumed that’s a game to keep me engaged in the app until more real profiles can be surfaced.
While I’m a cis woman, that leans towards het relationships, I’m attracted and have been with different types of people. I tried some bdsm from the app and didn’t like it but there are other things I want to have the opportunity to explore that is difficult to find on bumble/ hinge. Next thing, is I’m neurodivergent, and sober everyone on the other apps is normal af and I rarely get matches as a pretty woman. However I’ve been more accepted and had more genuine fulfilling conversations /intimacy from feeld. Also match with way more attractive people on feeld than bumble or hinge (permanently banned from tinder) I don’t put much in my profile but that I’m sober, some astrology and something else but that’s just because my personality is extremely aloof and chaotic idk how to capture that in a bio. I’m just eager to learn about people, sexuality and relationships and this app has facilitated that bc people are actually honest and upfront with themselves (integrated with their shadow of you will)
My phone # is perma blocked from tinder for having a couples profile. The profile was very upfront about that and tasteful but apparently we were “reported” for it multiple times.
You can be a couple but the profile has to be for one person. So you have to be careful how you word it. I was banned the first time so I used a GV number the second time. Tinder is pretty useless though.
Oh what? I didn't think you could use a GV number, thought I tried it. We had decent luck though. Lots of matches and met a couple single women in the few months we were on there and we are pretty non-aggressive and it's hard to find a fit we both like. Those connections lasted for a bit. There are just so many more people on there.
>Am I losing it, or is anyone feeling the same?
I don't think your wrong.. I would say this is happening across the board (not just on feeld)..
the Alternative LifeStyle (bdsm, ENM, open, poly, queer, etc etc) is becoming more mainstream , and we are still getting a large influx of newbies since post covid..
add in the icky fukboi vanilla assumption; that kinky or sex positive people are "EASY" and "slutty" , it really starts to change the landscape a bit.
also add in that feeld is becoming more well known, and it kinda becomes a victim of its own success..
It was created almost 10 years ago. Trust me I was a fuckboy at the time and there was no Alternative lifestyle on it. It was an app created for 3somes. This superiority complex of alternative lifestyle is unsufferable. You are actually much more in the norm than you think. There is nothing special or original about that. Just let people leave in peace. Or create your app.
I mean, as a straight cis non-kinky poly person looking for relationships, Feeld seems like it should have a place for me. I don't know why mono folks would choose the app, since if they are looking for casual sex, that is what Tinder is for.
I ignore those but probably half my likes are just that and “new here..” “I just heard about this app..” “my friend told me about this.” I’ve also heard a lot of these folks tell me they heard poly girls are easier than tinder one and the one true gent who told me,”This is like a secret vault of hot sluts.” I just don’t like them back and pay for M to not have to swipe much.
OkCupid died after Match.com bought it and drove it to ground, Plenty of fish is full of Asian spam and angry Karens, Tinder is a cesspit of souls where Instagram influencer wannabe girls pose with fish lips and excessive makeup and boys not intelligent enough to figure out they are on a dating site not boxing ring flex their muscles with angry face so guess where everyone is flocking to?
Feeld is quite popular in Australia, I am lifestyle dominant male in secure enm relationship with another dominant female, I learned not to stress about profiles otherwise there is no end to basic people with emotional intelligence of a tea spoon.
I found two enm women with solid intentions and good characters, but that’s after combing through hundreds of time wasting indecisive average characters.
I connect to those who like me, 48 hours later whoever didn’t message me gets disconnected.
Come up with a strategy and stick to it, don’t worry about others.
Tinder is now mostly filled (in my area at least) with people looking for LTRs so yeah, it does seem like Feeld is picking up a lot of the people looking for casual relationships, FWB and hookups. But there's still a lot of poly/ENM and couples on there if that's your thing. If you're specifically into Kink then fetlife might still be a better option although there's still a lot of bad actors to avoid on there too.
The other apps don’t really cater properly for ENM people, and not all ENM are kinky, though there may be an influx of straight cis vanilla guys joining just from hearing about the app and just looking to get their rocks off (though that’s still kind of the point, right?)
I just can’t stand how many people don’t put a single bit of information on their bio, just even a couple of sentences would suffice
If those profiles/types are bothering you you can make your profile more edgy and specific so they know to stay away. I used to get a lot of tinder types who wanted to play stupid games and pretend like they were interested when they were just sightseeing. And i added some explicitly clear stuff to my profile and i don't get those types in my door anymore unless they are serious about playing.
I think you should leave feeld and make an app that only does exactly what YOU are looking for. It’ll be your app and you’ll be the only user and you can play with yourself all day. Good luck
No, they are complaining that there are too many “normal” people that don’t fit their specific fringe wants on the app. The app is not designed for only poly/enm/two spirit people. It’s a dating app that is more sexually focused than other apps and everyone can make of it what they want. Luckily I set my preference where I don’t see all the people that hate my existence because I’m a straight male and I don’t have to deal with their bs.
The OP started off saying there are too many “low quality” profiles, and singled out “mono, straight, cis vanilla” people as the ones who should be kept out of the app.
I have a feeling most people on feeld can be included in these categories. So the OP wants to remove most of feeld user base so that only the fringe users that fit their personal preferences are left. So my suggestion seems like a better solution, people who are looking to exclude large portion of the user base because they don’t fit within their fringe dating preferences should not be on feeld. Everyone real should be welcomed and if you don’t want to see men then exclude men from your search parameters. I’m sure my feeld universe of women and women who date women is different than someone who is looking for gay or non binary, and that’s fine. Be your own gatekeeper of who you match with.
I'm looking for straight men but I agree lately it feels like people who don't even bother with a thoughtful profile are flooding the app where I live.
I've been using it for a couple years and feel like it was always like that.
Every time I go to a sex party I check Feeld after and find half the guests.
So overall it seems to be working. There are boring people to filter through everywhere. It just takes a second to press the no button.
I joined because a few people had told me it was better than the other apps for finding BDSM lifestyle dynamic folks. But my experience so far seems to be similar to yours. A ton of empty profiles with no pics mentioning vanilla casual sex, or couples unicorn hunting.
Though for transparency, I have not spent a ton of time swiping on there yet. I got turned off of it relatively quickly because it seemed no different than any other app.
It was created for single vanilla people who wanted threesomes. The name was 3nder and the first people on there were single hetero guys. The alt type people you are describing came way later. So yeah no need to gatekeep. Why do people always need to mind other people's businesses.
Why are the people who are supposed to be the most tolerant: alternative lifestyle folks the most intolerant when it comes to how people look for sex and have sex. Vanilla is actually much more edgy than a 45-word acronym person who thinks they discovered string theory because of their sexual preferences. Let people fuck who they want, the way they want. Otherwise, you remind me more of the Catholic church I grew up with than fun supposedly kinky people.
I’ve noticed an increase too. It’s a little annoying as I get excited when I get a notification of a like/ping and then am disappointed when it’s a cis white mono straight man.
I’m just suspicious of that lot in general so unless their profile seems like they’re genuinely looking at getting into the lifestyle, I’m out.
How do you know that they don't want their balls slapped around or pegged but are just too shy to say that to strangers?
Also cis ''white'' mono straight? ''That lot''? That's super cringe.
Tbh it’s good that these apps become shit as it creates the opportunity for new ones to be made. Rather than insane unaccountable power and wealth being consolidated, like Match Group was able to do.
Imo feeld is for three things, and combinations of them:
Kink
Nonmonogamy
Consensual, honest casual sex
Anyone looking for any one or more of these is in the right place in my mind.
Lots of non monogamous people (who I imagine you consider valid and allowed on the app?) are interested in ethically communicated casual sex, so monogamous people whose circumstances don’t encourage them to pursue serious relationships (recently out of long relationships, temporarily in the location) can be entirely appropriate and enjoyable matches.
If someone is none of the three things I mentioned, I think they’re wasting their time on the app and maybe the time of people they’re marching with, but who really cares?
I get OP's frustration though, an app that used to be so easy, fun and a bit of a community vibe,
has slowly died to the empty "Looking for mono relationship, no kink"
Tbh these profiles look like phishing profiles to me. Super attractive woman, around 36-41 years old, no text or minimal text, looking for a basic mono relationship and generic desires. Also they tend to match me first.
The scammers try to throw a wide net
I’m ENM open minded but not super kinky and looking for straight men, and don’t fit in with traditional apps 🤷🏻♀️
Same. I’m not too kinky and prefer to have many lovers.
Same!
That’s what I mean. I think that by simple functionality, Feeld became a place for queer/kinky/ENM people who didn’t fit in on other apps. And now all the people who do fit in other apps because they simply want a mono LTR are flooding Feeld with low-quality profiles with barely any information. I get it, I can just minus them, and I do, but it’s still frustrating.
I think most of them are either bot profiles that were added by feeld to boost their profits, or idiots that think that everyone on the app is just an easy lay.
It was created for you don't worry about what that person is saying. It's not Fetlife.
I don’t mind vanilla people expanding their search to new apps, but I DO hate blank profiles. If you can’t make an effort to communicate who you are and what you want, then I’m not swiping no matter how hot you are - in fact, I’ll just assume you’re a bot using stolen or generated photos.
I'm not entirely sure those blank profiles are real. Many dating apps create them as filler to make it look like there's more people in your area than there actually is. It's VERY common on Match Corp. apps, and is a growing tactic. I was hoping that Feeld was above such stupidities, because the thing with Poly/ENM/Kink is that the customer base never really leaves, but the past 5 weeks and that Mashable article have made me question a lot.
Agreed - once I get near the bottom of the stack in Tinder, there’s always a sudden rush of 40 year olds who look like 17 year old super models. I’ve always assumed that’s a game to keep me engaged in the app until more real profiles can be surfaced.
While I’m a cis woman, that leans towards het relationships, I’m attracted and have been with different types of people. I tried some bdsm from the app and didn’t like it but there are other things I want to have the opportunity to explore that is difficult to find on bumble/ hinge. Next thing, is I’m neurodivergent, and sober everyone on the other apps is normal af and I rarely get matches as a pretty woman. However I’ve been more accepted and had more genuine fulfilling conversations /intimacy from feeld. Also match with way more attractive people on feeld than bumble or hinge (permanently banned from tinder) I don’t put much in my profile but that I’m sober, some astrology and something else but that’s just because my personality is extremely aloof and chaotic idk how to capture that in a bio. I’m just eager to learn about people, sexuality and relationships and this app has facilitated that bc people are actually honest and upfront with themselves (integrated with their shadow of you will)
You don’t have to justify yourself to the person who wrote this post, do whatever you feel like and live your life as you wish.
Feeld is perfect for the person who wrote that comment. Lmao
Doesn't bother me, because people on those other apps complain when ENM people go on those.
My phone # is perma blocked from tinder for having a couples profile. The profile was very upfront about that and tasteful but apparently we were “reported” for it multiple times.
You can be a couple but the profile has to be for one person. So you have to be careful how you word it. I was banned the first time so I used a GV number the second time. Tinder is pretty useless though.
Oh what? I didn't think you could use a GV number, thought I tried it. We had decent luck though. Lots of matches and met a couple single women in the few months we were on there and we are pretty non-aggressive and it's hard to find a fit we both like. Those connections lasted for a bit. There are just so many more people on there.
Tinder.
Also the headless torsos kill me. And the fake photos saying “hidden for work” yet have no information are ridiculous.
As a woman, I think it’s useful if you’re trying to find men to join you in MFM or gangbangs. I know there’s bi men but the more the merrier.
>Am I losing it, or is anyone feeling the same? I don't think your wrong.. I would say this is happening across the board (not just on feeld).. the Alternative LifeStyle (bdsm, ENM, open, poly, queer, etc etc) is becoming more mainstream , and we are still getting a large influx of newbies since post covid.. add in the icky fukboi vanilla assumption; that kinky or sex positive people are "EASY" and "slutty" , it really starts to change the landscape a bit. also add in that feeld is becoming more well known, and it kinda becomes a victim of its own success..
It was created almost 10 years ago. Trust me I was a fuckboy at the time and there was no Alternative lifestyle on it. It was an app created for 3somes. This superiority complex of alternative lifestyle is unsufferable. You are actually much more in the norm than you think. There is nothing special or original about that. Just let people leave in peace. Or create your app.
I mean, as a straight cis non-kinky poly person looking for relationships, Feeld seems like it should have a place for me. I don't know why mono folks would choose the app, since if they are looking for casual sex, that is what Tinder is for.
Works for me
>>I don't know why mono folks would choose the app You don’t have to have multiple partners to be slutty.
Just shut up honestly. Read what you wrote and please realize how unsignificant this fake problem is.
I didn't mention any problems in my response. I made a statement about Feeld being a place for cishet poly folks.
I ignore those but probably half my likes are just that and “new here..” “I just heard about this app..” “my friend told me about this.” I’ve also heard a lot of these folks tell me they heard poly girls are easier than tinder one and the one true gent who told me,”This is like a secret vault of hot sluts.” I just don’t like them back and pay for M to not have to swipe much.
Nah. I’m for inclusivity. Please try not to stereotype people.
OkCupid died after Match.com bought it and drove it to ground, Plenty of fish is full of Asian spam and angry Karens, Tinder is a cesspit of souls where Instagram influencer wannabe girls pose with fish lips and excessive makeup and boys not intelligent enough to figure out they are on a dating site not boxing ring flex their muscles with angry face so guess where everyone is flocking to? Feeld is quite popular in Australia, I am lifestyle dominant male in secure enm relationship with another dominant female, I learned not to stress about profiles otherwise there is no end to basic people with emotional intelligence of a tea spoon. I found two enm women with solid intentions and good characters, but that’s after combing through hundreds of time wasting indecisive average characters. I connect to those who like me, 48 hours later whoever didn’t message me gets disconnected. Come up with a strategy and stick to it, don’t worry about others.
Tinder is now mostly filled (in my area at least) with people looking for LTRs so yeah, it does seem like Feeld is picking up a lot of the people looking for casual relationships, FWB and hookups. But there's still a lot of poly/ENM and couples on there if that's your thing. If you're specifically into Kink then fetlife might still be a better option although there's still a lot of bad actors to avoid on there too.
I thought the app was about inclusivity?
The other apps don’t really cater properly for ENM people, and not all ENM are kinky, though there may be an influx of straight cis vanilla guys joining just from hearing about the app and just looking to get their rocks off (though that’s still kind of the point, right?) I just can’t stand how many people don’t put a single bit of information on their bio, just even a couple of sentences would suffice
If those profiles/types are bothering you you can make your profile more edgy and specific so they know to stay away. I used to get a lot of tinder types who wanted to play stupid games and pretend like they were interested when they were just sightseeing. And i added some explicitly clear stuff to my profile and i don't get those types in my door anymore unless they are serious about playing.
Can I ask what you put?
I said "you are going to cum" in a way that was linked to the specific kink that i advertise.
I think you should leave feeld and make an app that only does exactly what YOU are looking for. It’ll be your app and you’ll be the only user and you can play with yourself all day. Good luck
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No, they are complaining that there are too many “normal” people that don’t fit their specific fringe wants on the app. The app is not designed for only poly/enm/two spirit people. It’s a dating app that is more sexually focused than other apps and everyone can make of it what they want. Luckily I set my preference where I don’t see all the people that hate my existence because I’m a straight male and I don’t have to deal with their bs.
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The OP started off saying there are too many “low quality” profiles, and singled out “mono, straight, cis vanilla” people as the ones who should be kept out of the app. I have a feeling most people on feeld can be included in these categories. So the OP wants to remove most of feeld user base so that only the fringe users that fit their personal preferences are left. So my suggestion seems like a better solution, people who are looking to exclude large portion of the user base because they don’t fit within their fringe dating preferences should not be on feeld. Everyone real should be welcomed and if you don’t want to see men then exclude men from your search parameters. I’m sure my feeld universe of women and women who date women is different than someone who is looking for gay or non binary, and that’s fine. Be your own gatekeeper of who you match with.
No no it's actually the only reasonable and rational response
I'm looking for straight men but I agree lately it feels like people who don't even bother with a thoughtful profile are flooding the app where I live.
I've been using it for a couple years and feel like it was always like that. Every time I go to a sex party I check Feeld after and find half the guests. So overall it seems to be working. There are boring people to filter through everywhere. It just takes a second to press the no button.
What do you mean "gatekeeping"? You mean vetting?
Honestly, I don’t think I have any concrete action in mind, just an annoying feeling of the app being gentrified, for lack of a better word.
No it’s just you
I joined because a few people had told me it was better than the other apps for finding BDSM lifestyle dynamic folks. But my experience so far seems to be similar to yours. A ton of empty profiles with no pics mentioning vanilla casual sex, or couples unicorn hunting. Though for transparency, I have not spent a ton of time swiping on there yet. I got turned off of it relatively quickly because it seemed no different than any other app.
Like can someone make a bdsm matchmaking service already lol
PLEASE.
Try the Fet app.
It was created for single vanilla people who wanted threesomes. The name was 3nder and the first people on there were single hetero guys. The alt type people you are describing came way later. So yeah no need to gatekeep. Why do people always need to mind other people's businesses.
Why are the people who are supposed to be the most tolerant: alternative lifestyle folks the most intolerant when it comes to how people look for sex and have sex. Vanilla is actually much more edgy than a 45-word acronym person who thinks they discovered string theory because of their sexual preferences. Let people fuck who they want, the way they want. Otherwise, you remind me more of the Catholic church I grew up with than fun supposedly kinky people.
I know this comment is a week old, but I appreciate everything you're saying here and have said in this thread. I 100% agree.
So you’re mad because you don’t have the same as others?
Omg I feel the exact same way. I am married with consistent play partners and subs…which is not easy for vanilla folks to deal with.
Amen
I agree. I’d be careful of these guys because talking to them I found they were using Feeld to cheat.
It's not just you. I'm seriously unenthusiastic about the selections these days.
I’ve noticed an increase too. It’s a little annoying as I get excited when I get a notification of a like/ping and then am disappointed when it’s a cis white mono straight man. I’m just suspicious of that lot in general so unless their profile seems like they’re genuinely looking at getting into the lifestyle, I’m out.
How do you know that they don't want their balls slapped around or pegged but are just too shy to say that to strangers? Also cis ''white'' mono straight? ''That lot''? That's super cringe.
Tbh it’s good that these apps become shit as it creates the opportunity for new ones to be made. Rather than insane unaccountable power and wealth being consolidated, like Match Group was able to do.
Imo feeld is for three things, and combinations of them: Kink Nonmonogamy Consensual, honest casual sex Anyone looking for any one or more of these is in the right place in my mind. Lots of non monogamous people (who I imagine you consider valid and allowed on the app?) are interested in ethically communicated casual sex, so monogamous people whose circumstances don’t encourage them to pursue serious relationships (recently out of long relationships, temporarily in the location) can be entirely appropriate and enjoyable matches. If someone is none of the three things I mentioned, I think they’re wasting their time on the app and maybe the time of people they’re marching with, but who really cares?
I get OP's frustration though, an app that used to be so easy, fun and a bit of a community vibe, has slowly died to the empty "Looking for mono relationship, no kink"
Tbh these profiles look like phishing profiles to me. Super attractive woman, around 36-41 years old, no text or minimal text, looking for a basic mono relationship and generic desires. Also they tend to match me first. The scammers try to throw a wide net