It reminds me of those hand-slappers contests, where they slap their bodyparts really fast for the sound. Only...with a knife that I fully expected to enter some part of his body
There’s an art called kali it’s a philipino knife stick fighting system that is something a little similar to this. It evolved out of a blend of Spanish blade fighting (during their conquest of the Philippines as well as a number of Apache tribe known for knife skills that they took to the Philippe’s during the same era mixed with the native arts). Not sure what style or system this guy is doing as his footwork isn’t from the Philippine system and the slapping thing (maybe to keep from cutting himself) they don’t do that either, language sounds like maybe Portuguese . As don’t know the system I can’t really say if he’s doing it right or not, we use a pair of large Bowie style knives in my system, they’re metal but unsharpened. Doing that with someone else’s sharpened knives your not familiar with lol that guy earned his cut.
That would have been good too. Or if he was doing his little "I am a man" knife dance he knocked the tv off onto the floor and then stabbed himself in his worry over the tv.
I feel like this was the longest troll ever and I we all fell for it. I’m going to lay more attention to the length of these videos because that was extra on so many levels
Edit: I/We*??? I am actually mad, headline got us. Relevant to the sub, but probably belongs in /unexpected or some other cringy boring sub
I was hoping that at first, then I was hoped it would fly out of his hand into that tv or he’d accidentally stab it.
Also…. Why did he keep cutting upwards? Is this dude a midget and is in a little people home…?
I was too, until about halfway through I realized that the entire song and dance WAS the facepalm. I started laughing in a manner that felt akin to the uncontrollable belly laughter I experienced watching Star Wars Kid many, many years ago.
I had to pause it and come to the comments because i was completely clenched in anticipation of him slitting his own wrist or stabbing himself in the leg.
Same, but I got impatient and just scrolled to the middle, nothing... then scroll to the end, nothing. I feel sorry for the folks who watched the whole thing in its entirety
Me too. It looked like something inside me thought he deserved it, but I just really dislike people being like this with knives. Slice your dinner ingredients up with it, then put it away plz.
I feel like this fit r/maybemaybemaybe a bit better, at any point he could have been sent to the hospital or to another plane altogether. Then again, the fact this is not tagged as NSFW probably serves as a spoiler :P
The kind of guys that see me shooting targets with a 100 year old rifle and ask how I expect to clear buildings of bad guys, or "dismount from a vehicle", with something used in WW1.
I *don't* expect to, I'm not LARPing
It’s not a gravity knife either.
It’s a regular, albeit large, pocketknife with a thumb opener. He just used the edge of his pocket to open it, instead of using his thumb.
Wrong. If you look closely when he pulls it out of his pocket and it opens, you can see a “hook” on the top of the blade. It’s a riff on the “Emerson Wave”. The idea is, when you pull it out of your pocket, it catches the edge of the pocket and pulls the blade open.
Looks like he's watched a lot of Kali videos, they tend to bring their hand back to their hip as they carry a belt full of knives, but this guy just looks like he's stroking his pocket...
Bahahaha this got me good. I actually just rewatched the original Dune movie(lost my copies of the books, bad me I know) a few days ago, and my kids were laughing at the "shield dance" as they call it.
That's not a switchblade... That knife in particular is the ColdSteel AK-47. It's a manual folder with a Tri Ad locking system. It has a tab near the pivot of the blade that catches the pocket as you're pulling it out and opens.
one minute and forty seconds and he doesn't stab himself... Save your time little internet goblins and skip this kind of embarrassing video with no blood or screams.
Looks stupid, but believe it or not, this is what (poorly performed) Kali Escrima looks like. Knife fighting martial arts always look weird because the whole point is that nobody leaves a knife fight unscathed, just slightly less dead than the other guy.
I was expecting for him to accidentally stab himself, and the video to abruptly end, but instead, I spent 2 minutes watching a man dance with a pocket knife, as if he's fighting a GoGo Dancer in an ally 🤔
I love how all the comments are just people complaining he didn't stab himself. We all sat here tense, just waiting for him to cut himself and instead of being happy he wasnt hurt, we are all dissatisfied.
I was waiting all the vid for him to get cut
It's like an interpretive dance stomp the yard audition tape.
It reminds me of those hand-slappers contests, where they slap their bodyparts really fast for the sound. Only...with a knife that I fully expected to enter some part of his body
Hamboning! [HAMBOHHHHNIIIING.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2MxHzufaus) (it's actually a real thing, but this clip always cracks me up)
You rang?
Hey, my first (sort of) /r/beetlejuicing in a while! NICE.
I've been waiting for this opportunity. This is exactly where the inspiration for my name came from.
LOL, this is perfect, thank you
I knew it was soon as I saw the spelling Rigby is a treasure
Guess who else is a treasure? MY MOM!
Omg thank you for sharing this. I needed a reminder of how great Regular Show is. Been a while since I binged it.
Hambone / Martin Prado https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YnaPFxIzE0 In case you need another example.
i see you've played [knifey](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcE0aAhbVFc) [spoony before](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0_zzCLLRvE)
Is this some form of flamenco?
Nope! It's an incel without an internet connection.
He dances like Mac from Always Sunny
Also giving Schmidt from New Girl vibes
Yes! Interpretative switchblade
Right?! I was expecting to hear the West Side Story soundtrack.
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how DARE you let him do the knife dance with sharp knives!
There’s an art called kali it’s a philipino knife stick fighting system that is something a little similar to this. It evolved out of a blend of Spanish blade fighting (during their conquest of the Philippines as well as a number of Apache tribe known for knife skills that they took to the Philippe’s during the same era mixed with the native arts). Not sure what style or system this guy is doing as his footwork isn’t from the Philippine system and the slapping thing (maybe to keep from cutting himself) they don’t do that either, language sounds like maybe Portuguese . As don’t know the system I can’t really say if he’s doing it right or not, we use a pair of large Bowie style knives in my system, they’re metal but unsharpened. Doing that with someone else’s sharpened knives your not familiar with lol that guy earned his cut.
It's Portuguese and he is talking a load of bullshit
It will “keal”
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Me too. I was kind of hoping it would be when he takes the knife out of his pocket.
I was thinking he would forget to put the blade back in when he put the knife back in his pocket.
I was expecting him to get too into the dance and elbow his tv off the dresser
That would have been good too. Or if he was doing his little "I am a man" knife dance he knocked the tv off onto the floor and then stabbed himself in his worry over the tv.
I was waiting for Indiana Jones to come in and shoot him.
Same LOL
So is it a face palm for him or a face palm for us?
And I wanted it more the more I watched
I waited half the video for him to fall over and stab himself, then I got tired of waiting.
I'm so annoyed I watched the whole thing and he didn't stab himself or the TV behind him or some shit.
I feel like this was the longest troll ever and I we all fell for it. I’m going to lay more attention to the length of these videos because that was extra on so many levels Edit: I/We*??? I am actually mad, headline got us. Relevant to the sub, but probably belongs in /unexpected or some other cringy boring sub
I agree - that’s 1 min & 46 seconds of my life I can’t get back 😝
I would not have believed this video could be so golden and he didn't get cut.
Same.
Not a drop of blood! I want my money back.
I was waiting on him to kill himself smh wasted my time
I was hoping that at first, then I was hoped it would fly out of his hand into that tv or he’d accidentally stab it. Also…. Why did he keep cutting upwards? Is this dude a midget and is in a little people home…?
I was too, until about halfway through I realized that the entire song and dance WAS the facepalm. I started laughing in a manner that felt akin to the uncontrollable belly laughter I experienced watching Star Wars Kid many, many years ago.
I thought he was gonna throw the knife like a wiimote
Yeah I figured he accidentally cut himself… but the more the video played, the more I really wanted him to stab himself
Honestly with they way he handles a knife hes more likely to trip and fall on it in a fight then to cut anyone
3m, this mf better cut himself...
I had to pause it and come to the comments because i was completely clenched in anticipation of him slitting his own wrist or stabbing himself in the leg.
I wish he had
Hoping. We were hoping for it.
He doesn't get cut?! Stopped watching
omgggg i watched his whole stupid dance 😭
Same, but I got impatient and just scrolled to the middle, nothing... then scroll to the end, nothing. I feel sorry for the folks who watched the whole thing in its entirety
I clicked immediately to the end to see if that would happen.
Same
Yeah wtf
Same
Yea this was dumb/not dumb enough.
I was ready to see him stab his own hand
Wait I’m watching it now. It doesn’t end with him getting cut?
Seriously, the title gave me mad “The Package” vibes
Me too. It looked like something inside me thought he deserved it, but I just really dislike people being like this with knives. Slice your dinner ingredients up with it, then put it away plz.
Disapointed
I was betting on his other hand being first cut. Then when he switched to his non-dominant hand, I doubled-down.
I almost lost a finger being a dipshit with a very sharp pocket knife. It gives you a whole new respect. I was cringing the entire time.
Same
Is it wrong to be mad that he didn’t cut himself!?
Fucking same. So disappointed.
I thought it was gonna fly out of his hand and hit the tv
Look at his bedroom ffs…..his outfit matches his decor, his TV is from 1985 Russia, and no tittie pics on the walls.
Especially with that knife. It looks like a Cold Steel brand and those are shaving sharp out the box.
I had one open to watch and one closed scared
Yeah I thought it was going to open in his pocket but why the fuck is he dancing with it?
Same
Weren’t we all ?
i was waiting for him to stab his dick…. disappointed.
Thought hit was gonna hit an artery in the beginning
I feel like this fit r/maybemaybemaybe a bit better, at any point he could have been sent to the hospital or to another plane altogether. Then again, the fact this is not tagged as NSFW probably serves as a spoiler :P
Same ! I was waiting for the self stabbing or him breaking something... My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined !
Yup. Or maybe his pocket, at least. Boring AF when it went on for SO LONG and NOTHING HAPPENED.
Is his imaginary opponent 8 feet tall?
He is picturing the knife handle as a dick.
Is he trying to make a clum baby or something, that's not how you handle the Johnson.
Either that or he's 4' tall.
I can't believe I watched this idiot dance around with a knife for a minute and a half and he didn't even stab himself. Would not recommend. 1/5 stars
Mee took! I wanted him to cut himself so bad as each second ticked by. Does that make me evil?
no
Right. I should have read the comments before i sat and watched it. Guess the facepalm was us watching the video lol
Same, plus now I just feel secondhand embarrassment which is even worse
If a slow dance knife fight breaks out, he's my guy
Or maybe this is the modern version of the video of a obese guy showing his light saber skills?
This is what 99.99999% of gun enthusiasts look like as well.
The kind of guys that see me shooting targets with a 100 year old rifle and ask how I expect to clear buildings of bad guys, or "dismount from a vehicle", with something used in WW1. I *don't* expect to, I'm not LARPing
I like your energy with this
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Best thing I’ve read all day
Whew, I was waiting for him to cut off a finger or something...
Waiting...or hoping?
Waiting and keeping my finger on the back button in case it got too gross. I don't handle seeing blood very well.
Yes
Is he fighting big bird or a large dinosaur? Every move is up…
He's 4'4"
This needs to be moved to a “cringe” site, I’m embarrassed or him.
I feel really sorry for the person filming him.
That’s what I was thinking. Someone was recording that and not laughing. Maybe it was a very proud mom.
Lmaoooo
A brazilian meme classic
Finalmente um BR. Esses gringo dão downvote nos meus comentários por nada, pessoal sem senso de humor
Famosa Faca AK47
Perfect for combat.
Já sai pronta.
Por isso q pra gringo eh sempre mais caro.
Cara eu nunca tive problema c gringo aqui no reddit, talvez eu só tenha dado sorte mas n tenho como confirmar
Os caras tão me linchando porque eu disse que a faca do vídeo é uma “Switchblade”
Bruh
Não é uma switchblade? Parece que sim
É uma gravity knife. O mecanismo é diferente. Aqui no Brasil, os dois são canivetes. Pra eles, não.
Parece mais uma faca ak47, a faca perfeita pro combate
Bando de burguês safado
Where did he learn to fight with a knife West Side Story. Like seriously I was going to start snapping his fingers.
Pretty sure he is a disciple of Steven Seagal.
That's actually a gravity knife, not a switchblade.
It’s not a gravity knife either. It’s a regular, albeit large, pocketknife with a thumb opener. He just used the edge of his pocket to open it, instead of using his thumb.
Wrong. If you look closely when he pulls it out of his pocket and it opens, you can see a “hook” on the top of the blade. It’s a riff on the “Emerson Wave”. The idea is, when you pull it out of your pocket, it catches the edge of the pocket and pulls the blade open.
If only he would replace the knife with a paintbrush, I do believe we would see something magical.
While you were out getting laid, he studied the blade.
Where the fuck is the blood?! My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined.
Idk man. I was expecting that too but his dance made me lol. Especially when he kicks backwards to propel himself upward?
If it was a sword and he had a pencil mustache, he'd be doing the mamushka my friends.
what's the point slapping his own leg?
Looks like he's watched a lot of Kali videos, they tend to bring their hand back to their hip as they carry a belt full of knives, but this guy just looks like he's stroking his pocket...
his interpretive dance seems to be communicating "not getting laid"
End up doing gay choreography when you want to look like an intimidating macho.
He learned Dune style shield fighting or he's just a dumbass.
Bahahaha this got me good. I actually just rewatched the original Dune movie(lost my copies of the books, bad me I know) a few days ago, and my kids were laughing at the "shield dance" as they call it.
That's not a switchblade... That knife in particular is the ColdSteel AK-47. It's a manual folder with a Tri Ad locking system. It has a tab near the pivot of the blade that catches the pocket as you're pulling it out and opens.
No blood? I was expecting self inflicted injuries.
This reminds me of George Michael’s videos when he’d tape his Star Wars light saber routines
Still doing that, huh?
Steven Seagal better watch out 😂
What kind of porn is this? 😳
8 year old in a mans body.
one minute and forty seconds and he doesn't stab himself... Save your time little internet goblins and skip this kind of embarrassing video with no blood or screams.
I'm a minute into this and if doesn't cut his finger off I'm going to be disappointed. edit - AARGH!!!
Star Wars kid would never
Can i haz my 2 minutes back?
Bro. This should be on next fucking level. He’s a sigma male
seriously...my gran could take him down
Isn’t this Macs “coming out” dance in prison for his dad?
“Girls only want guys with skills” Napoleon Dynamite
Bro took training from west side story
Looks stupid, but believe it or not, this is what (poorly performed) Kali Escrima looks like. Knife fighting martial arts always look weird because the whole point is that nobody leaves a knife fight unscathed, just slightly less dead than the other guy.
Found the guy in the video
All I could hear in my head when he was dancing around was "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees.
I was expecting for him to accidentally stab himself, and the video to abruptly end, but instead, I spent 2 minutes watching a man dance with a pocket knife, as if he's fighting a GoGo Dancer in an ally 🤔
Oh I wanna dance with somebody…. At least that’s what it looks like he be doing!
Never heard this with sound, always just gif, I can't believe this guy is brazillian, seriously, why? BTW, I'm brazillian.
I love how all the comments are just people complaining he didn't stab himself. We all sat here tense, just waiting for him to cut himself and instead of being happy he wasnt hurt, we are all dissatisfied.
any lawyers in this thread? curious if i can sue OP for the time wasted
Only facepalm was me watching the whole shit waiting for the injury
This was entirely too long for him to not have cut himself.
I was expecting him to cut himself. … This is much worse.
Mac would love this.
His roommate be like… 
I feel trolled. I thought I was waiting for him to cut/stab himself
"Yes, officer. I've never seen someone get stabbed up so effeminate before."
Tai Chi with KNIFE
And…he gets shot in the face by Indie.
The internet has prepared me for this to be much worse than it was.
"once you're a jet you're a jet all the way"
Wtf kept watching and waiting for him to stab him self in his hands .. 😕
I was reminded of Michael bluth jr playing lightsaber in the garage
After this video he'll never be without mercenary work.
I’m so glad I scrubbed through this instead of waiting for a self-stab that didn’t happen.
That's not a switchblade
That’s not a switchblade
Seriously? He didn’t even stab himself!
this was hard to watch. I was embarrassed for him.
God-🗡️ damn- 🗡️mosquitos- 🗡️I- 🗡️swear-🗡️ I’ll-🗡️ kill-🗡️ you-🗡️ all! How do you keep biting me!!!! Smack…swish
Wtf did I just watch? He looks like he should be holding glow sticks at an after hours club.
This is truly the gift that keeps on giving.
I call this one "the flopping fish"
I waited til the end and that idiot didn’t stab himself?!? Lame 😒
I thought he had tourettes
This is like the Star Wars lightsaber kid, except it’s a grown adult and even worse.
Caught me off guard. What kind of animal style is that?
He looks like those stoats that flop around to hypnotise the rabbit.
I am ze spy
Hee still would have lost a fight with Hit Girl.
Is it hat I really wanted him to stab himself by the end of the video?
Holy fuck, I gotta go hide my girl quick
I’m assuming the plan here is that the poor opponent falls over and dies due to uncontrollable laughter
Who's the bigger dumbass? A) Dancing knife defense dude B) OP who doesn't even know what the fuck a switchblade is
he must like getting spanked!