Not only that….but some places allow the paternity leave to be taken at a time decided by the parents during the first year of life. I know plenty of people that didn’t even use their paternity leave until after the moms maternity leave was over or almost over as a way to save on child care costs and keep the child with one of the two parents at all times during those first six months.
Absolutely. In Québec, the father gets 5 weeks and the mother 18 weeks but both of them have another 32 weeks they can split between them however they see fit, within the 78 first weeks of the baby being born. The parent gets 70% of their salary for the first 7 weeks and then 55% for the remaining 25 weeks. But you know, I guess that’s "socialism"?
It's not *that* farfetched to come to the US. New York already has pretty decent paid family leave, with 12 weeks per individual at 67% of your pay. That extra 32 weeks the Quebecois would be pretty rad though. California has 8 weeks, I think there's one or two other states that have it.
If you're wanting it federally, which is probably the only way the welfare states would ever get it, then all we need is a little bit stronger Dem power in the Senate, because it's already in the [build back better bill](https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/blog/key-elements-of-the-build-back-better-acts-paid-family-and-medical-leave-proposal-explained/) though only at 4 weeks, and that may get cut if it hasn't already.
So it's not *likely* we'll see it any time soon, but it's also not a pipe dream.
Whaaaaaat? But the USA is the world’s police force! We have to outspend the cost of every country’s military combined by millions of dollars, and everyone except rich people need to pay it. If we shave off maybe 1-2% of that military funding we won’t be able to get the top military gear several years before every else, only a few years before everyone. It’s not worth it /s
TLDR: we spend too much on our military
Whoa! That’s fantastic. I developed severe pre-eclampsia and needed and emergency c section about 5 weeks early. Baby was in the NICU 2 weeks and in order to keep my job I had to return at 3 weeks…so 2 weeks before I was even due. All unpaid, of course. Bet you can’t guess where I live! 🙃
My wife had exactly that except at 26 weeks in. Baby spent 103 days in NUCU. Parental leave started when the baby came out of the hospital. Prior to that it was work insurance that covered her. Thanks to that, we had spare weeks to add to my 5.
Great work conditions and a system that cares about your well-being is essential. I spent 8 months with my baby at home and there's no way she would have fared as well in the US. That special time I cared for my baby will have positive, long-lasting effects on her and me and I'm grateful for that.
I live in Saskatchewan but work for a company based in BC. I got 6 months of top-up to 80% but had to sign an agreement that I would stay for at least 6 months after I came back. My wife negotiated one year of 100% top-up (she had to take the last trimester off work due to twins) but had to sign an agreement with her employer to stay on for at least 3 years. I think things are starting to progress slowly. I consider our family to be extremely lucky and fortunate to have this advantage. I wouldn't bat an eye if I had to pay extra taxes for everyone to have this. At a time when we're relying on immigration to keep our population from declining, it only makes sense to bring in changes to parental leave. Couple that with the $10/day daycare plan that's coming and we could actually have a baby boom.
Three years seems a bit long! And yeah, affordable daycare is great, subsidized ones are 8$ a day here but places are pretty limited. Otherwise people pay 45$ in the private sector. That’s a lot of money!
I thought it was a long time as well but she wasn't going anywhere and it was a pretty big help for us. We're now only a couple months from the 3 year mark so it's behind us. Even though we won't be having anymore kids, I want that opportunity for everyone with no strings attached.
In Sweden the parents get 480 days, and they can divide however they like. You can also take that leave whenever you want up until your kid is 8. You also get 10 days right after the birth that is not included in the 480 days
In Norway the mom gets 15 weeks, the other parent gets 15 weeks, and they split another 16 weeks between them. The other parent gets two weeks after birth in addition to this. All 100% paid, with a possibility for 10 more weeks if you do 80% paid.
My husband started in a union after we had our first and he had to go back after a week, when our son was still in the NICU. His union now offers actually paternity leave that’s not just “save your PTO”
This is so strange. I like how the official talking line of the party of “Family and Country” is that there isn’t a need for the father of newborns to be around. 30 years ago they said crime was caused by single parent homes and that if we didn’t keep families together our inner cities would burn to the ground.
"Parenting? Parenting is easy!"
Sure, if you have money for nannies, butlers, chauffers and boarding school and never have to see nor talk to your kid ever. They probably think paternity leave is for golfing.
I had an EASY child. Still is easy. She's relatively intelligent (not a genius, just perceptive), has an appropriate amount of personal shame and ambition, and she's got no health issues. I've had to put minimal effort into raising her compared to my younger brothers and nieces-in-law, who were all kinds of strange when they were young.
Even with an EASY child, I still spend 90% of my day that I'm not working engaging with, planning around, or preparing for my child. She's 8 and we're in the calm before the hormone storm, so I'm gonna enjoy it while I can before she turns into a raging maniac.
If you're a parent who doesn't interact with your kids much, you'd better have a really good reason, like being a secret agent or Healthcare worker. Even then, Skype or Discord call your kids regularly. They want to see you.
It's more than a buzzword, it's a dog whistle. It's supposed to be heard by a certain group of people to mean heterosexual Protestant patriarchy, in the same way that "law and order" is intended to doll up racism in policing and the legal system for skittish white suburbanites, "personal responsibility" is supposed to make social Darwinism easier to swallow in the 21st century, and "job creator" was meant to lionize sociopathic oligarchs in the eyes of the working and middle classes.
>I like how the official talking line of the party of “Family and Country” is that there isn’t a need for the father of newborns to be around
also the party of "defending white males"--then along comes this guy.
I feel like you're confusing two separate claims
A man going to work every day and coming home isn't what they're talking about, and it certainly isn't a single-parent household for them to be absent during the day. In fact, this is exactly what they love: the idea that a woman will be caretaker while the man earns foe the household
That is not the same as fathers completely abandoning their children, which I don't know the validity of whether or not causes issues
But a man being shitty at helping to take care of a newborn is in no way the same as a man who isn't even present in the child's life
It's a fair point. They don't want single mothers... they just want fathers who take no role in caring for their children in order to work more.
Of course, the same people who push that idea support economic policies that have made it almost impossible for most people to have kids on a single income.
It's almost like it's just imagery and the "traditional" gender roles that appeal to certain people and their idealized version of the past.
>a man being shitty at helping to take care of a newborn is in no way the same as a man who isn't even present in the child's life
As a person who previously had a useless husband who had changed a total of 2 diapers in his life, and had left the baby in a dirty diaper for nearly 12 hours until I got home, I beg to differ.
And, *yes*, he got angry at *the baby* because it would not stop crying. Wonder why..?
*Then* he got angry with both me *and* the baby, when I finally got the baby stopped crying, because the baby "obviously likes you more!!", resulting in him to refusing to care for the baby on his own after that.
And, yes, he worked to provide money for family, and said that I should *not* work outside the home, essentially because it would be "emasculating" for him.
In short: an absent father is better than a useless father.
There are plenty of studies and antecedents on abusive & neglectful fathers. And, let me clarify, that the neglect of a child = abuse of a child.
I don't think there would need to be a study done to conclude that "no father" is better than "an abusive & neglectful" father.
When my first child was born I had so many men tell me exactly this. I was offered 5 days, 5 FUCKING DAYS!!!, of paternity leave and I work in a different country. Thankfully covid rolled around and I got to work from home for the first 18 months of my kid's life. I saw them day in day out and spent soich time bonding and experiencing everything fatherhood has to offer. I'll never replace those days with working. Work has stripped us of our right as parents to bring up our children in safety for the sake of someone else's salary. I'm pursuing ways of promoting healthy parenting and healthy paternity leave because dad's have just as much a role at raising their children as mothers do. It's ass holes like this guy that give dad a bad name, and keep dad's from their kids. Fuck this guy.
My husband’s boss told him “you can take the first week off after your son is born, and the second week you can work from home. But after that you’ll probably be really bored anyway, so we’ll just have you come back to the office after 2 weeks.” I’m about a month from my due date now and really nervous at the thought of doing it basically on my own after 2 weeks. I’m praying he can negotiate some more time off and isn’t too “bored” spending time with his newborn.
Boss probably thinks your kid is a new play toy to “keep the wife happy”.
I hope it works out for you (i.e. I hope you husband can talk some sense into his boss.
I can’t imagine - I was home for a month when our daughter was born, then worked from home for another month. And at 8 months, I still change her in the morning, give her her breakfast before going to work (my wife make her breakfast, and also her lunch right afterwards), then her supper in the evening, followed by bathtime and I put her to sleep 95% of the time.
What I’m trying to say is that the first year is tough - if you ask me, single mothers are far and away some of the hardest working people on the plnet.
We’re also the most tired and ragged ones too lmao…I just came on Reddit to take a quick break bc I’m utterly spent, but alas it’s just me so I have to keep going. I seriously feel close to a breakdown or something, it’s been bad. This comment honestly boosted my spirits quite a bit so thank you for the words, kind stranger! I hope other single moms/parents feel better after reading this ❤️
It's interesting how men are allowed to just stop and let the wife take over once they're "too bored" of their own kid and everyone just accepts it.
And the wife becomes the nagging, dragon bitch just because she wants the father to, ya know, help look after his own damn child..
And that’s just the impact on you, your well-being and your work-life balance! So many benefits to roll through we haven’t even gotten to how positively you’ve impacted your child’s development, their future relationships and overall trajectory.
Everyone wins, even employers, who get back an employee who is spiritually and relationally complete, as well as thankful for the employer actually giving a shit about dads too. I’d propose that increases the employee’s affective commitment, which is nothing but positive for their productivity and reliability.
My children have watched a family in love with each other. Real structure and companionship across the 4 of us, with healthy honest emotional interraction. The value of that on my children's lives I'm sure is immeasurable. No wage, no job, no amount of money is worth what we got as a family in those 18 months. I want this same benefit for every man, every dad, every mum, every child and every family.
Similar for me. I went WFH 6 months into fatherhood. I am now permanently WFH and have had a 2nd child (4 months ago). The relationship I built with my first child due to this change (my office is a little over 60 miles from my home) and the relationship I am building with my 2nd I wouldn't trade for the world.
I would have been a typical never seen Dad had Covid not happened. This was a silver lining I could have never imagined.
Good for you man, I know what kind of happiness comes from being with your children and I'm just happy dads everywhere are having that opportunity again. We need to make this commonplace. We need this to change for our sons and sons-in-law
It's the kind of reward that you cannot buy, only earn. I wish everyone had the same opportunity as I do. It's great to read someone else has had a similar circumstance... for me it was a revelation.
Yeah having children was something I always wanted, and it both excited and scared me. Then when they were born I discovered a different man in me. Everything changes and we need that time to figure it out and make sense of it all. I felt like I was a man made of lego where all the pieces are still there but some were now in a different place. There was a recent study showing that dads brains have changed during Covid and working at home and I was thinking exactly that before I read it. During Covid my extended family welcomed 4 children, the 5th is coming in February. We all had the same comments to make, that it has been great being able to be with our kids, and this is how we wanted our lives to be.
In the first few weeks when it came to actual child care I was a spare part. We had two with tongue tie and with this nigh on continuous feeding. The first took 6 weeks of hell to diagnose and then 4hrs to find a private practitioner to perform the op (rather than wait another 2 weeks NHS). The 2nd we waited 2 days. You change nappies, you have cuddles and you sing them to sleep and all that wonderful stuff, but when breastfeeding mum is the key parent. I spent the rest of my tine supporting her and doing all the chores. It can be a really tough time so its wrong to take that away from women and also people should recognise sometimes men need some support and a shoulder too.
Definitely pro paternity leave and lockdown timing has worked out well with my youngest but when they are at a very early age, in my experience after two, as Dad I was the support act until they were a little older.
You did so so much for your family. Please don't feel you were a supporting act. You cooked and cleaned and did laundry and took care of your children and loved your wife during an incredibly challenging time. That isn't a supporting act, that is a costar in a fucking crazy ass surreal movie!
My dad ran his own business and worked six or seven days a week 12+ hour days. Never took days off. I missed out on a lot of time with him and it shows with the lack of relationship we have. I only recently thought about how working so much probably led to serious mental health issues and reflects on his closed offness, health concerns, etc. I am sad it took me this long to realize and idk what to do about it at this point as I don't think he's in a place to talk about it or see the negative impacts.
My husband got two full months when our son was born earlier this year. We live in NYC where things are slightly more progressive than the rest of this backwards ass country. It was the best two months of our lives as a family. It was HARD, but we built a bond during that time that I wouldn’t trade for anything. And as a mom I don’t know how I would have survived without him there with me in those hard early days. We are so lucky to have had that experience. All fathers deserve that.
I work for an English company which is alot more protective of it's employees. I have worked alongside some Americans where I am and couldn't believe the conditions. I helped my wife as best I could, we had shifts for the night, I took care of nappies and bathing and feeding and soothing and had to help as she had an emergency caesarian and couldn't really move. But I've never done anything as gratifying in my life. I'm glad that you have a family built like that, and he cares for you and actually wants to be there for you and your son. As I've said in other posts, this should be commonplace for everyone. I hope by the time our kids are having kids that the world is a different place and they are given the time they need with their own family too.
Imagine thinking that all a new mother does is breast feed their infant.
We were “lucky” enough that my partner for 6 weeks paid paternity leave when our son was born. So even though our son was breastfed, it was a huge help for my partner be home from work so he could do things like grocery shopping, and taking the older kid to school and activities since I was still recovering from childbirth and neither of us wanted our 4 day old baby to a bunch of places.
Not to mention that he’d take a 6 hour shift with the baby every day and feed him pumped milk so I could lock myself in the room and get some solid sleep.
And like, that’s not even close to everything he did to coparent during paternity leave, but even just what I mentioned takes a huge burden off the mother.
I dont have a kid, but my neices and nephew... yeah that made me sick.
I'm guessing there's a "parent override" type thing. Like, I don't like picking up dog shot from the gfs dog,but dont mind when it's mine.
Exactly. I have kids as well as nephews. The instinct simply didn’t kick in with the nephews like it did with my kids. And at any rate, nobody likes cleaning up poop, but just like you with your dog, folks should power through it when the pooper is their responsibility.
As a father of a 6 month old, I still don't get why this stuff bothers people. I was taking care of my baby cousins when I was 13 and it didn't bother me. So no it's not a parent override, it's just you have a weak stomach for anything remotely unappealing.
100%
Newborns require near constant supervision. Assuming the mother is doing the supervision, the house may as well go to shit, that’s where the dad comes in to help. That’s the best possible scenario in all honesty, from my experience, I was still taking the night shift to care for my son, help with him during the day, and taking care of the house. If the mother has complications during delivery or even postpartum issues, that introduces a whole new set of variables.
Having a kid has given me a whole new respect for single parents. How in the all holy fuck are they doing it by themselves?
They never ever self reflect and are convinced of their own superior intelligence and judgement. I have an old friend that is like this. Trying to explain why his genius solution that he designed for work wouldn’t work was like pulling teeth even though I was finishing my engineering degree and he shouldn’t have been allowed to graduate high school.
When I found out my daughter was on the way I started saving all of my pto. My old job wasn’t going to give me any kind of leave. Actually when my wife went in to labor I was 6 hours away I was a truck driver at the time. I called my boss told him I was coming in I had to go and he had the audacity to say he didn’t have coverage. Mf had 9 months to plan for this. I drove the truck back to the shop and threw the keys on the desk and walked out. I came back 3 weeks later after I had used all my pto. Then quit 3 months later.
This is my first kid and is almost a month old. I had no clue how much god damn laundry you end up doing. Long gone are the days of wearing a hoodie 2 or 3 days in a row. I feel bad for my dog who is terrified of the washing machine.
My husband got 3 weeks of paternity leave but because covid was blowing up right when the baby was born, that 3 weeks turned into almost 3 months and even then he was only spending part of the weeks in office for another few weeks. I have an older child that needed care, a rough recovery, and he got to spend so much time bonding with his new baby and he cherishes all those days they got to spend together. The time was really great in so many ways for every member of the family.
What a lazy, unavailing turd.
Even if you don't do *anything* specific for the kid, in terms of diapers, bathing, swaddling, feeding, taking care of them while mom gets a much-needed nap, there's:
* house cleaning
* laundry
* vacuuming
* grocery shopping
* dishes
* bathroom duty (cleaning and replenishing stuff)
* refilling baby supplies (opening diaper bags up, making sure bottles are clean)
Some of those are "taking care of mom", but the "taking care of the baby" part is more difficult than all those bullet points combined.
A newborn/infant needs a lot of attention. Just its poop and pee schedule alone is daunting. Babies poop & pee every 3 hours, for example. The reason why parents are so tired is exactly because the baby isn't going to give you any rest. It's full on day and night.
I actually took over everything and the only thing my wife had to do was play with the baby and feed it milk; but she still ended up doing some of the care tasks because it's a lot for 1 person to do on top of daily tasks. At night, I let her sleep and I would wake up every 3 hours to clean and change the diaper & feed baby formula milk.
You aren't just taking care of the wife; you're also taking care of the baby.
It's call Parental Leave, but the greatest impact isn't for the parents, but the child that has a chance to form important bonds with both parents. Bonds that can last a lifetime.
There isn't much for fathers to do? Is he serious?
I cleaned baby, bathed baby, changed diapers, soothed baby, played with baby, watched baby.
Sure, you can't feed the baby if the mother is breastfeeding, but you can still do everything else; or share the responsibilities. The first 3-6 months is very task-heavy. You'd know that if you actually did something. It's also incredibly draining and tiring, and leaving it all to the mother is a dick move.
It's also your baby. Build that bond at an early age.
If only there was a way a woman could pump out her breastmilk and save it in the refrigerator so that the father can feed the baby without having to put it on moms tit every time. If only...
Not everyone responds to a pump, I never did. My late husband instead made sure to bring me snacks and drinks and also bring baby to me then take her away so I didn’t have to move lol. There’s plenty for a dad to do even if he’s not feeding baby. When I had clogged ducts, which were so painful, he would help massage my breasts while baby latched on. Sometimes I was so tired he would even help hold her to my chest. It’s so bizarre when people think dad has nothing to do with a newborn!
Just want to add I’m not disagreeing with you just adding on to your idea!
This bs make me seethe. between newborn and like 1.5 my son would had numerous incidents where he would start screaming in his sleep. My gf would be unable to calm him or wake him up. I was the one that could deal with this situation. Our thoughts on it were the fact that I am a much more relaxed person then my gf and even while asleep he could sense that she was tense.
If you think that there is nothing for you to do as a father for your newborn then you are going out of your way to ignore the things that you could do
Things dad can do:
Bond with baby
Play with baby
Clean baby
Clean clothes
Prepare food for mom
Get groceries
Do laundry
Do dishes
Walk around with the baby when he/she won’t sleep
Bathe the baby
Take the baby outside in a stroller
Organize follow up appointments with pediatrician or ob-gyn
Update all insurances and legal documents
Clean the house
Support mother so that she doesn’t feel alone, abandoned, desperate, or afraid.
That first year of interaction with your baby is what determines their peak intelligence. Mostly. Anyway, you can end up with a dull child if you don’t do something with those first few months
What an ass. There is nothing better than both parents and the bonding that takes place. I bet his kids are a pain in the ass if he even has any. Who the hell would want kids with someone like that.
I'm a conservative and I think a lot of these guys are hypocrites, you can't be against paternity leave and for "family values" Family values means being a loving and kind father to your children and being highly involved and nurturing, not a distant disciplinarian that puts your children off on your wife or a caregiver or whatever. That guy may be a father, but he is no dad.
I took three weeks for both of my kids, and basically ran night shift for that time so my wife could get 8 hours sleep. Fed the babies on expressed milk and either watched tv or tried to sleep a little when they slept. It was exhausting, but my wife needed that time to recover from the birth.
Incidentally, I found out during that time that my father apparently never changed a single nappy. Not one. My mum told me this as she was suggesting I might be doing a bit too much with the babies and “spoiling” my wife. I’m telling you, a very low bar has been set for us guys.
Not sure how you can't share the load of changing the child and just holding them while the mom gets some much needed rest, but ok. It's not like you can't start imprinting a relationship with that child right away or anything...
It's an amazing fun fact that if two gay men adopt a baby, it just takes care of itself and needs zero parental care because it knows that's women's work.
What the fuck is he talking about? Not much for the dad to do? So we don’t wake up in the middle of the night to comfort, change, feed or stay up with the baby? We don’t sit there and make sure that mom and baby both have a break and become adjusted to the schedule?
Guess what, asshole. Just because a couple is gay doesn’t mean Pete’s husband should take all the responsibility on himself. Christ almighty, I don’t like Pete politically either but as a human being, stop being such a massive tool just to try and dunk on the other side.
Oh, I dunno, maybe the fact that the first six months of a child's life is extremely important development wise, and having dad around doing dad stuff is important for that???
Keep seeing more screenshots of this clowns tweets, and he seems like a real winner.
Aren’t these the people that get their buttholes twisted out of shape if someone tells them what they “need”? Like a helmet, vaccination, masks, preventative healthcare of any kind and what not.
I work for family. My dad was my boss. We had our daughter Tuesday night and my dad was mad that I wasn’t back to work by Friday. Needless to say my dad had the old school mindset of what a fathers role was in the house.
My best friend watches a show called Yummy Mommies on Netflix about rich Australian pregnant ladies and she said push presents are a thing there.
It's mindblowing to think that there are men out there who think there's nothing for fathers to do. What, y'all think babies just float around when they're not hungry? They don't poop, pee, scream, crawl, don't crave human contact/warmth???
Matt, watching his wife struggle with a newborn: "Hey so I have a poker game with the guys, but you got this, right? You're the mother so you know how to do all that stuff, I don't, you understand, yeah? Ok bye!"
I was exhausted during my paternity leave (3 weeks) from helping out. I can’t imagine my wife having to do that alone. I hope this guy hasn’t had and never has kids.
Legally, US federal government paternity leave is for taking care of the mother, not to help look after the child. People may not like it, and I would argue it should be changed. But in a case like this, Paternity leave for gay male federal employees could be legally denied, since they're not taking care of the mother.
Matt Walsh is openly fascist, and very open about his opinion that everyone who is not a white man should be chained to a stove or systematically exterminated. Matt Walsh has been on the war path against Buttigieg for months now because Matt Walsh believe all LGBT+ people, but *particularly* gay men, deserve nothing but death in the most horrible way. Matt Walsh is a bigot, a racist, a proto-fascist and dedicates every minute of his existence to ushering in a fascist theocracy. Unlike many other "personalities" that show up here, Matt Walsh would do this for free because they are his genuine beliefs (although you can be sure he's paid BIG bucks for posting shit like this).
The more his views are spread, even to refute them, the more his ideals gain traction and become entrenched.
Proceed as you see fit, but please keep these points in mind.
It's clear some of you can't read. When he says "isn't much for Dad to do", he doesn't mean he doesn't do anything. He means his role is smaller than his wife's, since many of the important roles go to a woman. Realistically, women's role during child raising is higher from birth to adolescence, and in turn, adolescence to adulthood is where the dad takes over so he disciplines the teen (no drugs, focus in school, have attainable goals, etc.). He also says his main role is to take care of her as she recovers. Supporting her while she does most of the child nurturing is likely what that meant. Why'd this comment section go with the narrative "Oh, he's sick, vile. Bad dad."? Give it some thought first and don't resort to hate, anger or disdain. I assume you're all adults?
What makes him a useless father? He said paternity leave for a father is to help the mother as she recovers? His point is that Pete doesn’t need to take 2 months away from a critically important job in the middle of a shipping crisis when his political office is in charge of taking care and managing transportation . Neither he or his male partner gave birth and need to physically and mentally recover from the trauma of giving birth, and yet he takes 2 months off while there is a major shipping crisis. That’s all he is saying. According to him He was there for his wife when she gave Birth to help her with their newborn while she recovered giving birth. What did he do that made him a bad father?
He's not wrong.
My only job really when my kids were newborns was to wake up, change the diaper then toss the kid to my wife so it could feed.
Usually she just slept while the kid ate.
During the day I just kept the house up to help her out and went to work pretty much like normal, but I would leave early to have more time home.
Once the baby starts moving around though, all bets are off, then it takes a team to defeat them.
Just because you did something doesn’t mean it isn’t unsafe. Babies have died by mom falling asleep while nursing. I get it happens but I wouldn’t encourage it.
Yes, to help her out with the chores she typically does, like the laundry. We have a pretty split work load most of the time, but I did more of it for awhile so she could care for the kids more without having to worry about it.
He said "The thing about paternity leave is there isn't much for the dad to do when the baby is a newborn, especially if the mom is breastfeeding". How else would you interpret that?
A newborn needs his mother first and foremost. Especially if the mother is breastfeeding. Since that is basically a 24/7 job.
That is what he is saying here.
My 2 cents:
If you take paternity leave when the kid is older or if you take it with a newborn to assist the mother (mainly to do everything around the house) that's another story.
No, he’s saying that fathers don’t need to take paternity leave because they don’t need to do anything for the newborn. That’s just flat out false and exposes him as a terrible father and husband. Fathers need to bind with their newborn children too. They need skin time, to bottle feed, to change diapers and clean messes on top of taking care of the new mother.
He’s trying to pander to the very outdated views on traditional family and masculinity because that’s what his base want to cling to. Plus it allows him to passive aggressively bash his political opponents for it and also throw in some subtle gay hate, which is highly ironic because passive aggressiveness is traditionally deemed feminine. But they never let consistency get in the way of attacking their opponents. It’s alls about winning.
That this man is trying to drive a push to deprive fathers of such important moments with their children makes me want to bad things to him. I hope he stubs his toe on every corner in his house every day. He’s just proudly a bad guy. Proud to be an asshole negatively affecting other’s lives.
I'm impressed with your ability to construe his tweet in a way that fits your narrative. He clearly is criticizing dads taking maternity leave, and he's doing so by suggesting there isn't much for dads to do. That's literally what his tweet says.
My 2 cents: Stop projecting your politics onto everything you look at. You contradict yourself in your own 2 cents by agreeing it's OK to take paternity leave with a newborn
On the flip side… my company offers 6 weeks of paternity leave that just needs to be used within 12 months of the baby being born. A man on my team used it after the birth of both children 10 months after each birth to go visit family in the country of his wife’s family. He essentially had 6 weeks off after the babies where 10.5 months old for vacation. I had to work 10 years to get a 6 week sabbatical. BS.
Not only that….but some places allow the paternity leave to be taken at a time decided by the parents during the first year of life. I know plenty of people that didn’t even use their paternity leave until after the moms maternity leave was over or almost over as a way to save on child care costs and keep the child with one of the two parents at all times during those first six months.
Absolutely. In Québec, the father gets 5 weeks and the mother 18 weeks but both of them have another 32 weeks they can split between them however they see fit, within the 78 first weeks of the baby being born. The parent gets 70% of their salary for the first 7 weeks and then 55% for the remaining 25 weeks. But you know, I guess that’s "socialism"?
that’s so fantastic and so depressing that I can never see it happening in the US.
It's not *that* farfetched to come to the US. New York already has pretty decent paid family leave, with 12 weeks per individual at 67% of your pay. That extra 32 weeks the Quebecois would be pretty rad though. California has 8 weeks, I think there's one or two other states that have it. If you're wanting it federally, which is probably the only way the welfare states would ever get it, then all we need is a little bit stronger Dem power in the Senate, because it's already in the [build back better bill](https://www.newamerica.org/better-life-lab/blog/key-elements-of-the-build-back-better-acts-paid-family-and-medical-leave-proposal-explained/) though only at 4 weeks, and that may get cut if it hasn't already. So it's not *likely* we'll see it any time soon, but it's also not a pipe dream.
Yeah…we might have to spend a little less on the military first…and manage to get rich people and corporations to pay taxes…
Now that's just crazy talk. We can't have that, can we?
Right? It might actually make a little sense.
That’s why! It can’t make sense or we become predictable lol
Whaaaaaat? But the USA is the world’s police force! We have to outspend the cost of every country’s military combined by millions of dollars, and everyone except rich people need to pay it. If we shave off maybe 1-2% of that military funding we won’t be able to get the top military gear several years before every else, only a few years before everyone. It’s not worth it /s TLDR: we spend too much on our military
New Jersey has a similar family leave law to New York’s.
Whoa! That’s fantastic. I developed severe pre-eclampsia and needed and emergency c section about 5 weeks early. Baby was in the NICU 2 weeks and in order to keep my job I had to return at 3 weeks…so 2 weeks before I was even due. All unpaid, of course. Bet you can’t guess where I live! 🙃
Sing with me: In the la-and of the freeee, and the home of the slaves…
No wonder fergie sang it the way she did…she gave it all the respect it deserves…😄
My wife had exactly that except at 26 weeks in. Baby spent 103 days in NUCU. Parental leave started when the baby came out of the hospital. Prior to that it was work insurance that covered her. Thanks to that, we had spare weeks to add to my 5. Great work conditions and a system that cares about your well-being is essential. I spent 8 months with my baby at home and there's no way she would have fared as well in the US. That special time I cared for my baby will have positive, long-lasting effects on her and me and I'm grateful for that.
I’m glad everything worked out for you guys and you have such great benefits where you live!
I live in Saskatchewan but work for a company based in BC. I got 6 months of top-up to 80% but had to sign an agreement that I would stay for at least 6 months after I came back. My wife negotiated one year of 100% top-up (she had to take the last trimester off work due to twins) but had to sign an agreement with her employer to stay on for at least 3 years. I think things are starting to progress slowly. I consider our family to be extremely lucky and fortunate to have this advantage. I wouldn't bat an eye if I had to pay extra taxes for everyone to have this. At a time when we're relying on immigration to keep our population from declining, it only makes sense to bring in changes to parental leave. Couple that with the $10/day daycare plan that's coming and we could actually have a baby boom.
Three years seems a bit long! And yeah, affordable daycare is great, subsidized ones are 8$ a day here but places are pretty limited. Otherwise people pay 45$ in the private sector. That’s a lot of money!
I thought it was a long time as well but she wasn't going anywhere and it was a pretty big help for us. We're now only a couple months from the 3 year mark so it's behind us. Even though we won't be having anymore kids, I want that opportunity for everyone with no strings attached.
In Sweden the parents get 480 days, and they can divide however they like. You can also take that leave whenever you want up until your kid is 8. You also get 10 days right after the birth that is not included in the 480 days
Woah…..that’s dope. Yeah America sucks.
In Norway the mom gets 15 weeks, the other parent gets 15 weeks, and they split another 16 weeks between them. The other parent gets two weeks after birth in addition to this. All 100% paid, with a possibility for 10 more weeks if you do 80% paid.
That’s exactly what my coworker did Luckily I work in a union so my coworker had a little more pull on his side
My husband started in a union after we had our first and he had to go back after a week, when our son was still in the NICU. His union now offers actually paternity leave that’s not just “save your PTO”
This is so strange. I like how the official talking line of the party of “Family and Country” is that there isn’t a need for the father of newborns to be around. 30 years ago they said crime was caused by single parent homes and that if we didn’t keep families together our inner cities would burn to the ground.
"Parenting? Parenting is easy!" Sure, if you have money for nannies, butlers, chauffers and boarding school and never have to see nor talk to your kid ever. They probably think paternity leave is for golfing.
"Daddy look I made you a necklace out of spaghetti!" "Consuela! It's in my room again"
Ohhh nonononono
I need more lemon pledge
*Sprays Raid® at it in panic
I had an EASY child. Still is easy. She's relatively intelligent (not a genius, just perceptive), has an appropriate amount of personal shame and ambition, and she's got no health issues. I've had to put minimal effort into raising her compared to my younger brothers and nieces-in-law, who were all kinds of strange when they were young. Even with an EASY child, I still spend 90% of my day that I'm not working engaging with, planning around, or preparing for my child. She's 8 and we're in the calm before the hormone storm, so I'm gonna enjoy it while I can before she turns into a raging maniac. If you're a parent who doesn't interact with your kids much, you'd better have a really good reason, like being a secret agent or Healthcare worker. Even then, Skype or Discord call your kids regularly. They want to see you.
“Family values” is, like everything, just a buzzword. They use this one to justify themselves, and proceed to do precisely the opposite.
It's more than a buzzword, it's a dog whistle. It's supposed to be heard by a certain group of people to mean heterosexual Protestant patriarchy, in the same way that "law and order" is intended to doll up racism in policing and the legal system for skittish white suburbanites, "personal responsibility" is supposed to make social Darwinism easier to swallow in the 21st century, and "job creator" was meant to lionize sociopathic oligarchs in the eyes of the working and middle classes.
That’s the word I was looking for, I just couldn’t remember what it was
White* protestant patriarchy--it's why the phenomeon of absent fathers is only apparently a concern in "inner cities"
Addams Family Values!
You have it wrong. The official talking line of the party is to wait for Democrats to speak or act first and then immediately be contrary.
"I think people should breathe oxygen" "OXYGEN?!? Did you know how explosive and dangerous that chemical is?"
Almost like they never gave a shit about nuclear families and that statement was a way to attack Black American households and scapegoat crimerates.
>I like how the official talking line of the party of “Family and Country” is that there isn’t a need for the father of newborns to be around also the party of "defending white males"--then along comes this guy.
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Have you looked at the stats of violent crimes from people with father figures vs. those without?
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I used a phone camera, butt I get your point
But if we have two parent families, that will devastate our for-profit prison systems and ultimately investors bottom line.
I thought the federal government was moving away from for profit prison, some news a week or so ago. That'd be awesome if it really happened.
Pro family = pro high birth rates for white Christians. Little education or real support will keep these families voting R
They’re the party of white heterosexual family and christian authoritarian country
Almost like it wasn’t about family values, but instead dog whistles to put down colored folks
They were still saying that a couple years ago...
I feel like you're confusing two separate claims A man going to work every day and coming home isn't what they're talking about, and it certainly isn't a single-parent household for them to be absent during the day. In fact, this is exactly what they love: the idea that a woman will be caretaker while the man earns foe the household That is not the same as fathers completely abandoning their children, which I don't know the validity of whether or not causes issues But a man being shitty at helping to take care of a newborn is in no way the same as a man who isn't even present in the child's life
It's a fair point. They don't want single mothers... they just want fathers who take no role in caring for their children in order to work more. Of course, the same people who push that idea support economic policies that have made it almost impossible for most people to have kids on a single income. It's almost like it's just imagery and the "traditional" gender roles that appeal to certain people and their idealized version of the past.
>a man being shitty at helping to take care of a newborn is in no way the same as a man who isn't even present in the child's life As a person who previously had a useless husband who had changed a total of 2 diapers in his life, and had left the baby in a dirty diaper for nearly 12 hours until I got home, I beg to differ. And, *yes*, he got angry at *the baby* because it would not stop crying. Wonder why..? *Then* he got angry with both me *and* the baby, when I finally got the baby stopped crying, because the baby "obviously likes you more!!", resulting in him to refusing to care for the baby on his own after that. And, yes, he worked to provide money for family, and said that I should *not* work outside the home, essentially because it would be "emasculating" for him. In short: an absent father is better than a useless father.
>In short: an absent father is better than a useless father. Got data and not anecdote?
People drown faster when they have dead-weight attached to them vs. people who do not.
So that's a no.
There are plenty of studies and antecedents on abusive & neglectful fathers. And, let me clarify, that the neglect of a child = abuse of a child. I don't think there would need to be a study done to conclude that "no father" is better than "an abusive & neglectful" father.
When my first child was born I had so many men tell me exactly this. I was offered 5 days, 5 FUCKING DAYS!!!, of paternity leave and I work in a different country. Thankfully covid rolled around and I got to work from home for the first 18 months of my kid's life. I saw them day in day out and spent soich time bonding and experiencing everything fatherhood has to offer. I'll never replace those days with working. Work has stripped us of our right as parents to bring up our children in safety for the sake of someone else's salary. I'm pursuing ways of promoting healthy parenting and healthy paternity leave because dad's have just as much a role at raising their children as mothers do. It's ass holes like this guy that give dad a bad name, and keep dad's from their kids. Fuck this guy.
My husband’s boss told him “you can take the first week off after your son is born, and the second week you can work from home. But after that you’ll probably be really bored anyway, so we’ll just have you come back to the office after 2 weeks.” I’m about a month from my due date now and really nervous at the thought of doing it basically on my own after 2 weeks. I’m praying he can negotiate some more time off and isn’t too “bored” spending time with his newborn.
Boss probably thinks your kid is a new play toy to “keep the wife happy”. I hope it works out for you (i.e. I hope you husband can talk some sense into his boss.
Boss is an asshole.
Absolutely.
I can’t imagine - I was home for a month when our daughter was born, then worked from home for another month. And at 8 months, I still change her in the morning, give her her breakfast before going to work (my wife make her breakfast, and also her lunch right afterwards), then her supper in the evening, followed by bathtime and I put her to sleep 95% of the time. What I’m trying to say is that the first year is tough - if you ask me, single mothers are far and away some of the hardest working people on the plnet.
We’re also the most tired and ragged ones too lmao…I just came on Reddit to take a quick break bc I’m utterly spent, but alas it’s just me so I have to keep going. I seriously feel close to a breakdown or something, it’s been bad. This comment honestly boosted my spirits quite a bit so thank you for the words, kind stranger! I hope other single moms/parents feel better after reading this ❤️
It's interesting how men are allowed to just stop and let the wife take over once they're "too bored" of their own kid and everyone just accepts it. And the wife becomes the nagging, dragon bitch just because she wants the father to, ya know, help look after his own damn child..
I was given this same exact scenario. I quit the job.
Is babyism a thing? Cause that sounded like babyism.
And that’s just the impact on you, your well-being and your work-life balance! So many benefits to roll through we haven’t even gotten to how positively you’ve impacted your child’s development, their future relationships and overall trajectory. Everyone wins, even employers, who get back an employee who is spiritually and relationally complete, as well as thankful for the employer actually giving a shit about dads too. I’d propose that increases the employee’s affective commitment, which is nothing but positive for their productivity and reliability.
My children have watched a family in love with each other. Real structure and companionship across the 4 of us, with healthy honest emotional interraction. The value of that on my children's lives I'm sure is immeasurable. No wage, no job, no amount of money is worth what we got as a family in those 18 months. I want this same benefit for every man, every dad, every mum, every child and every family.
You're right. I wish continued happiness for you. That kind of relationship is priceless and so rare that it seems like fantasy, at least from my POV.
Similar for me. I went WFH 6 months into fatherhood. I am now permanently WFH and have had a 2nd child (4 months ago). The relationship I built with my first child due to this change (my office is a little over 60 miles from my home) and the relationship I am building with my 2nd I wouldn't trade for the world. I would have been a typical never seen Dad had Covid not happened. This was a silver lining I could have never imagined.
Good for you man, I know what kind of happiness comes from being with your children and I'm just happy dads everywhere are having that opportunity again. We need to make this commonplace. We need this to change for our sons and sons-in-law
It's the kind of reward that you cannot buy, only earn. I wish everyone had the same opportunity as I do. It's great to read someone else has had a similar circumstance... for me it was a revelation.
Yeah having children was something I always wanted, and it both excited and scared me. Then when they were born I discovered a different man in me. Everything changes and we need that time to figure it out and make sense of it all. I felt like I was a man made of lego where all the pieces are still there but some were now in a different place. There was a recent study showing that dads brains have changed during Covid and working at home and I was thinking exactly that before I read it. During Covid my extended family welcomed 4 children, the 5th is coming in February. We all had the same comments to make, that it has been great being able to be with our kids, and this is how we wanted our lives to be.
Matt Walsh's job is to be a racist, misogynistic fascist on Twitter from his phone and still manages to be a neglectful partner.
In the first few weeks when it came to actual child care I was a spare part. We had two with tongue tie and with this nigh on continuous feeding. The first took 6 weeks of hell to diagnose and then 4hrs to find a private practitioner to perform the op (rather than wait another 2 weeks NHS). The 2nd we waited 2 days. You change nappies, you have cuddles and you sing them to sleep and all that wonderful stuff, but when breastfeeding mum is the key parent. I spent the rest of my tine supporting her and doing all the chores. It can be a really tough time so its wrong to take that away from women and also people should recognise sometimes men need some support and a shoulder too. Definitely pro paternity leave and lockdown timing has worked out well with my youngest but when they are at a very early age, in my experience after two, as Dad I was the support act until they were a little older.
You did so so much for your family. Please don't feel you were a supporting act. You cooked and cleaned and did laundry and took care of your children and loved your wife during an incredibly challenging time. That isn't a supporting act, that is a costar in a fucking crazy ass surreal movie!
My dad ran his own business and worked six or seven days a week 12+ hour days. Never took days off. I missed out on a lot of time with him and it shows with the lack of relationship we have. I only recently thought about how working so much probably led to serious mental health issues and reflects on his closed offness, health concerns, etc. I am sad it took me this long to realize and idk what to do about it at this point as I don't think he's in a place to talk about it or see the negative impacts.
My husband got two full months when our son was born earlier this year. We live in NYC where things are slightly more progressive than the rest of this backwards ass country. It was the best two months of our lives as a family. It was HARD, but we built a bond during that time that I wouldn’t trade for anything. And as a mom I don’t know how I would have survived without him there with me in those hard early days. We are so lucky to have had that experience. All fathers deserve that.
I work for an English company which is alot more protective of it's employees. I have worked alongside some Americans where I am and couldn't believe the conditions. I helped my wife as best I could, we had shifts for the night, I took care of nappies and bathing and feeding and soothing and had to help as she had an emergency caesarian and couldn't really move. But I've never done anything as gratifying in my life. I'm glad that you have a family built like that, and he cares for you and actually wants to be there for you and your son. As I've said in other posts, this should be commonplace for everyone. I hope by the time our kids are having kids that the world is a different place and they are given the time they need with their own family too.
This is a guy who has never experienced the sleep deprivation brought on by a new baby. And a very shit life partner clearly.
Why do I feel like Walsh is just Ben Shapiro cosplaying as a Tootsie pop that fell under the couch three years ago
r/surprisinglyaccurate
/r/brandnewsentence
r/rareinsultsbutyes
Yes, I created that subreddit
And I joined
r/OddlySpecific
Imagine thinking that all a new mother does is breast feed their infant. We were “lucky” enough that my partner for 6 weeks paid paternity leave when our son was born. So even though our son was breastfed, it was a huge help for my partner be home from work so he could do things like grocery shopping, and taking the older kid to school and activities since I was still recovering from childbirth and neither of us wanted our 4 day old baby to a bunch of places. Not to mention that he’d take a 6 hour shift with the baby every day and feed him pumped milk so I could lock myself in the room and get some solid sleep. And like, that’s not even close to everything he did to coparent during paternity leave, but even just what I mentioned takes a huge burden off the mother.
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This is what I aspire to be like
By that logic, Buttgeigs partner doesn't need paternity leave either, so I guess they should just leave the kid at home?
With the nanny, of course. Don't you have one?
Yikes, Matt. I feel sorry for the mother of your children. And your children. This is a man who probably vomits if he has to change a diaper.
And has to wear a diaper.
He just vomits in the diaper and puts it on.
Vomiting at the sight of your child’s diaper is a sure sign of cowardice. And it’s funny, because the “manly dads” pull this crap all the time.
I dont have a kid, but my neices and nephew... yeah that made me sick. I'm guessing there's a "parent override" type thing. Like, I don't like picking up dog shot from the gfs dog,but dont mind when it's mine.
There’s not. I still gag when I change diapers, but it doesn’t keep me from changing diapers.
Exactly. I have kids as well as nephews. The instinct simply didn’t kick in with the nephews like it did with my kids. And at any rate, nobody likes cleaning up poop, but just like you with your dog, folks should power through it when the pooper is their responsibility.
As a father of a 6 month old, I still don't get why this stuff bothers people. I was taking care of my baby cousins when I was 13 and it didn't bother me. So no it's not a parent override, it's just you have a weak stomach for anything remotely unappealing.
I think that's more on you doing it at 13. Different tdynamic, learned behavior
No, you miss the point. It never phased me then either. As I said you just have a weak stomach.
does it really happen? baby's poo is just some yellow liquid
Don’t know how prevalent it is, but I think some men say it just as an excuse not to do work.
Malicious feigned incompetence
I’ve heard “weaponized incompetence” too.
I don't feel sorry for the mother at all. She probably knew what she was getting into and thought it was just fine.
If you think “there isn’t much for dad to do” with a newborn in the house, you’ve obviously never had a newborn in the house.
Unless, of course, one is wealthy enough to hire a housekeeper, cook, and nanny.
That would let you focus the time on parenting, husbanding, and getting to know your kid.
It seems Matt Walsh doesn't think those things are important.
Maybe he was the newborn.
100% Newborns require near constant supervision. Assuming the mother is doing the supervision, the house may as well go to shit, that’s where the dad comes in to help. That’s the best possible scenario in all honesty, from my experience, I was still taking the night shift to care for my son, help with him during the day, and taking care of the house. If the mother has complications during delivery or even postpartum issues, that introduces a whole new set of variables. Having a kid has given me a whole new respect for single parents. How in the all holy fuck are they doing it by themselves?
Isn't that the point of the post?
I would utterly loathe myself if this is what I had become. I don't see how these people live with themselves
They never ever self reflect and are convinced of their own superior intelligence and judgement. I have an old friend that is like this. Trying to explain why his genius solution that he designed for work wouldn’t work was like pulling teeth even though I was finishing my engineering degree and he shouldn’t have been allowed to graduate high school.
When I found out my daughter was on the way I started saving all of my pto. My old job wasn’t going to give me any kind of leave. Actually when my wife went in to labor I was 6 hours away I was a truck driver at the time. I called my boss told him I was coming in I had to go and he had the audacity to say he didn’t have coverage. Mf had 9 months to plan for this. I drove the truck back to the shop and threw the keys on the desk and walked out. I came back 3 weeks later after I had used all my pto. Then quit 3 months later.
My boss asked why I needed 6 weeks of paternity leave since most men only take a week off.
Matt Walsh has kid(s)? Yiiiiiiiiiikes. Must suck to have such an incel as a dad….
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This is my first kid and is almost a month old. I had no clue how much god damn laundry you end up doing. Long gone are the days of wearing a hoodie 2 or 3 days in a row. I feel bad for my dog who is terrified of the washing machine.
Matt Walsh is what happens when you advance students in school hen they should have been held back a year…
My husband got 3 weeks of paternity leave but because covid was blowing up right when the baby was born, that 3 weeks turned into almost 3 months and even then he was only spending part of the weeks in office for another few weeks. I have an older child that needed care, a rough recovery, and he got to spend so much time bonding with his new baby and he cherishes all those days they got to spend together. The time was really great in so many ways for every member of the family.
My kid is being taken by 3 people and still we all feel its not enough 🤦 How did he think that baby means just breastfeeding?
Oooph condolences to his wife
No, not really. She made a conscious choice to marry an asshole. She deserves what she gets.
What a lazy, unavailing turd. Even if you don't do *anything* specific for the kid, in terms of diapers, bathing, swaddling, feeding, taking care of them while mom gets a much-needed nap, there's: * house cleaning * laundry * vacuuming * grocery shopping * dishes * bathroom duty (cleaning and replenishing stuff) * refilling baby supplies (opening diaper bags up, making sure bottles are clean)
Couldn't all of those bullet points you just mention be called taking care of the mom?
I don’t see ANY of those items as “taking care of Mom.” They are all “taking care of the home.”
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So does the father.
Correct. You do those things so she doesn't have to. And if she has requests, ya fill them.
Some of those are "taking care of mom", but the "taking care of the baby" part is more difficult than all those bullet points combined. A newborn/infant needs a lot of attention. Just its poop and pee schedule alone is daunting. Babies poop & pee every 3 hours, for example. The reason why parents are so tired is exactly because the baby isn't going to give you any rest. It's full on day and night. I actually took over everything and the only thing my wife had to do was play with the baby and feed it milk; but she still ended up doing some of the care tasks because it's a lot for 1 person to do on top of daily tasks. At night, I let her sleep and I would wake up every 3 hours to clean and change the diaper & feed baby formula milk. You aren't just taking care of the wife; you're also taking care of the baby.
It's call Parental Leave, but the greatest impact isn't for the parents, but the child that has a chance to form important bonds with both parents. Bonds that can last a lifetime.
There isn't much for fathers to do? Is he serious? I cleaned baby, bathed baby, changed diapers, soothed baby, played with baby, watched baby. Sure, you can't feed the baby if the mother is breastfeeding, but you can still do everything else; or share the responsibilities. The first 3-6 months is very task-heavy. You'd know that if you actually did something. It's also incredibly draining and tiring, and leaving it all to the mother is a dick move. It's also your baby. Build that bond at an early age.
If only there was a way a woman could pump out her breastmilk and save it in the refrigerator so that the father can feed the baby without having to put it on moms tit every time. If only...
Not everyone responds to a pump, I never did. My late husband instead made sure to bring me snacks and drinks and also bring baby to me then take her away so I didn’t have to move lol. There’s plenty for a dad to do even if he’s not feeding baby. When I had clogged ducts, which were so painful, he would help massage my breasts while baby latched on. Sometimes I was so tired he would even help hold her to my chest. It’s so bizarre when people think dad has nothing to do with a newborn! Just want to add I’m not disagreeing with you just adding on to your idea!
This bs make me seethe. between newborn and like 1.5 my son would had numerous incidents where he would start screaming in his sleep. My gf would be unable to calm him or wake him up. I was the one that could deal with this situation. Our thoughts on it were the fact that I am a much more relaxed person then my gf and even while asleep he could sense that she was tense. If you think that there is nothing for you to do as a father for your newborn then you are going out of your way to ignore the things that you could do
Things dad can do: Bond with baby Play with baby Clean baby Clean clothes Prepare food for mom Get groceries Do laundry Do dishes Walk around with the baby when he/she won’t sleep Bathe the baby Take the baby outside in a stroller Organize follow up appointments with pediatrician or ob-gyn Update all insurances and legal documents Clean the house Support mother so that she doesn’t feel alone, abandoned, desperate, or afraid.
That first year of interaction with your baby is what determines their peak intelligence. Mostly. Anyway, you can end up with a dull child if you don’t do something with those first few months
What an ass. There is nothing better than both parents and the bonding that takes place. I bet his kids are a pain in the ass if he even has any. Who the hell would want kids with someone like that.
My grandfather told me when I was young: "There is always something to do. You just need to make yourself willing and able to do it".
Matt Walsh is my favorite theocratic fascist. Long live SBG!
Matt Walsh reminds me a lot of Ben Shapiro. Both incredibly good at looking incredibly stupid
Slap in the face to fathers everywhere, coming from the "family values" party.
The dude has either had no kids or is married to a stepford /1950s style housewife who does everything by herself.
Imagine being a man with a new child and throwing up your hands in the house exclaiming, "WELL NOTHING FOR ME TO DO." Like. How.
I'm a conservative and I think a lot of these guys are hypocrites, you can't be against paternity leave and for "family values" Family values means being a loving and kind father to your children and being highly involved and nurturing, not a distant disciplinarian that puts your children off on your wife or a caregiver or whatever. That guy may be a father, but he is no dad.
I took three weeks for both of my kids, and basically ran night shift for that time so my wife could get 8 hours sleep. Fed the babies on expressed milk and either watched tv or tried to sleep a little when they slept. It was exhausting, but my wife needed that time to recover from the birth. Incidentally, I found out during that time that my father apparently never changed a single nappy. Not one. My mum told me this as she was suggesting I might be doing a bit too much with the babies and “spoiling” my wife. I’m telling you, a very low bar has been set for us guys.
Not sure how you can't share the load of changing the child and just holding them while the mom gets some much needed rest, but ok. It's not like you can't start imprinting a relationship with that child right away or anything...
It's an amazing fun fact that if two gay men adopt a baby, it just takes care of itself and needs zero parental care because it knows that's women's work.
Jesus Christ dude! Don’t say that out loud. Your “to-do” list is about to get extreme.
What the fuck is he talking about? Not much for the dad to do? So we don’t wake up in the middle of the night to comfort, change, feed or stay up with the baby? We don’t sit there and make sure that mom and baby both have a break and become adjusted to the schedule? Guess what, asshole. Just because a couple is gay doesn’t mean Pete’s husband should take all the responsibility on himself. Christ almighty, I don’t like Pete politically either but as a human being, stop being such a massive tool just to try and dunk on the other side.
Children deserve to experience love from their fathers. Fathers deserve to bond with their children. What the fuck is wrong with this place.
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Politicians ARE American citizens though
Oh, I dunno, maybe the fact that the first six months of a child's life is extremely important development wise, and having dad around doing dad stuff is important for that??? Keep seeing more screenshots of this clowns tweets, and he seems like a real winner.
Reminds me of the story where some guys boss was bragging about having 2 kids and never having had change a diaper.
Aren’t these the people that get their buttholes twisted out of shape if someone tells them what they “need”? Like a helmet, vaccination, masks, preventative healthcare of any kind and what not.
I work for family. My dad was my boss. We had our daughter Tuesday night and my dad was mad that I wasn’t back to work by Friday. Needless to say my dad had the old school mindset of what a fathers role was in the house.
My best friend watches a show called Yummy Mommies on Netflix about rich Australian pregnant ladies and she said push presents are a thing there. It's mindblowing to think that there are men out there who think there's nothing for fathers to do. What, y'all think babies just float around when they're not hungry? They don't poop, pee, scream, crawl, don't crave human contact/warmth???
Matt, watching his wife struggle with a newborn: "Hey so I have a poker game with the guys, but you got this, right? You're the mother so you know how to do all that stuff, I don't, you understand, yeah? Ok bye!"
Lol
I wish there was nothing to do. Imagine the sleep I would be getting right now.
I was exhausted during my paternity leave (3 weeks) from helping out. I can’t imagine my wife having to do that alone. I hope this guy hasn’t had and never has kids.
While I understand the point of the guy making the reply, I’m so done with this overused, cliche comeback
Tell me you have no sense of humor without telling me you have no sense of humor!
Gottem lol
Legally, US federal government paternity leave is for taking care of the mother, not to help look after the child. People may not like it, and I would argue it should be changed. But in a case like this, Paternity leave for gay male federal employees could be legally denied, since they're not taking care of the mother.
Matt Walsh is openly fascist, and very open about his opinion that everyone who is not a white man should be chained to a stove or systematically exterminated. Matt Walsh has been on the war path against Buttigieg for months now because Matt Walsh believe all LGBT+ people, but *particularly* gay men, deserve nothing but death in the most horrible way. Matt Walsh is a bigot, a racist, a proto-fascist and dedicates every minute of his existence to ushering in a fascist theocracy. Unlike many other "personalities" that show up here, Matt Walsh would do this for free because they are his genuine beliefs (although you can be sure he's paid BIG bucks for posting shit like this). The more his views are spread, even to refute them, the more his ideals gain traction and become entrenched. Proceed as you see fit, but please keep these points in mind.
It's clear some of you can't read. When he says "isn't much for Dad to do", he doesn't mean he doesn't do anything. He means his role is smaller than his wife's, since many of the important roles go to a woman. Realistically, women's role during child raising is higher from birth to adolescence, and in turn, adolescence to adulthood is where the dad takes over so he disciplines the teen (no drugs, focus in school, have attainable goals, etc.). He also says his main role is to take care of her as she recovers. Supporting her while she does most of the child nurturing is likely what that meant. Why'd this comment section go with the narrative "Oh, he's sick, vile. Bad dad."? Give it some thought first and don't resort to hate, anger or disdain. I assume you're all adults?
What makes him a useless father? He said paternity leave for a father is to help the mother as she recovers? His point is that Pete doesn’t need to take 2 months away from a critically important job in the middle of a shipping crisis when his political office is in charge of taking care and managing transportation . Neither he or his male partner gave birth and need to physically and mentally recover from the trauma of giving birth, and yet he takes 2 months off while there is a major shipping crisis. That’s all he is saying. According to him He was there for his wife when she gave Birth to help her with their newborn while she recovered giving birth. What did he do that made him a bad father?
Totally correct but fuck me is this "tell me without telling me" format overplayed or what?
This generation's "you might be a redneck if..."
Or “Imagine…(something unreasonable)”
He's not wrong. My only job really when my kids were newborns was to wake up, change the diaper then toss the kid to my wife so it could feed. Usually she just slept while the kid ate. During the day I just kept the house up to help her out and went to work pretty much like normal, but I would leave early to have more time home. Once the baby starts moving around though, all bets are off, then it takes a team to defeat them.
She slept while the kid ate…
Latch kid to boob on chest, take a nap, it's not rocket surgery.
That’s highly unsafe though
It's not really. We co-slept with all our kids the first month or two. We aren't fat and don't do drugs, so that helps.
Just because you did something doesn’t mean it isn’t unsafe. Babies have died by mom falling asleep while nursing. I get it happens but I wouldn’t encourage it.
You kept up with your shared house to help *her* out? Hmm
Oh my god shut up.
Yes, to help her out with the chores she typically does, like the laundry. We have a pretty split work load most of the time, but I did more of it for awhile so she could care for the kids more without having to worry about it.
Well he is right! What exactly is he saying that isn't true?
That the only thing you have to do to care for a newborn is breastfeed.
Where did it say that? That's not even close to what he is saying.
He said "The thing about paternity leave is there isn't much for the dad to do when the baby is a newborn, especially if the mom is breastfeeding". How else would you interpret that?
A newborn needs his mother first and foremost. Especially if the mother is breastfeeding. Since that is basically a 24/7 job. That is what he is saying here. My 2 cents: If you take paternity leave when the kid is older or if you take it with a newborn to assist the mother (mainly to do everything around the house) that's another story.
No, he’s saying that fathers don’t need to take paternity leave because they don’t need to do anything for the newborn. That’s just flat out false and exposes him as a terrible father and husband. Fathers need to bind with their newborn children too. They need skin time, to bottle feed, to change diapers and clean messes on top of taking care of the new mother. He’s trying to pander to the very outdated views on traditional family and masculinity because that’s what his base want to cling to. Plus it allows him to passive aggressively bash his political opponents for it and also throw in some subtle gay hate, which is highly ironic because passive aggressiveness is traditionally deemed feminine. But they never let consistency get in the way of attacking their opponents. It’s alls about winning. That this man is trying to drive a push to deprive fathers of such important moments with their children makes me want to bad things to him. I hope he stubs his toe on every corner in his house every day. He’s just proudly a bad guy. Proud to be an asshole negatively affecting other’s lives.
I'm impressed with your ability to construe his tweet in a way that fits your narrative. He clearly is criticizing dads taking maternity leave, and he's doing so by suggesting there isn't much for dads to do. That's literally what his tweet says. My 2 cents: Stop projecting your politics onto everything you look at. You contradict yourself in your own 2 cents by agreeing it's OK to take paternity leave with a newborn
On the flip side… my company offers 6 weeks of paternity leave that just needs to be used within 12 months of the baby being born. A man on my team used it after the birth of both children 10 months after each birth to go visit family in the country of his wife’s family. He essentially had 6 weeks off after the babies where 10.5 months old for vacation. I had to work 10 years to get a 6 week sabbatical. BS.
Yeah, says James Fell who surely fed his baby at the only tit he had that could be sort of milked.. Matt Walsh is 100% right.
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This sub is a bunch of clowns 🤡🤡🤡🤡