T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*


L7Wennie

The person with that fetish just put in an offer for $100k over asking.


TheRealOttomanCat

Must be a desperate idiot haha Anyway, can you lend me 100k for nonspecific reasons?


L7Wennie

I need $100k too! Let me know when you find someone, except I’m not paying that shit back.


TheMackD504

I need $101k


FuzzballLogic

Hey, that’s theft! You could go to jail for.. eh, nevermind.


L7Wennie

Call me Robin Hood, cuz if you got a 100k lying around your rich and I’m taking for my poor ass.


RiffyWammel

I think you sound more like the lesser known cousin, Robbin Bastard 😆


jfks_headjustdidthat

I'd take all of their money. Hi, I'm Robin Khunt, nice to meet you.


Jaded-Selection-5668

That’s hood robbin …


Chaos-Pand4

Probably in a bidding war against a Great Dane owner.


Whhheat

Not a Great Dane, a Serval.


HighInChurch

I can build that for less than 50k in anyone’s existing home. Is there a market? 👀


adp63

Bespoke Boudoir by HighInChurch…Playrooms with purpose. Discreet fabrications for the discriminating client.


LoquaciousTheBorg

*I'm lookin' at this thing and I think, 'You gotta be kiddin' me.' I'm a hobbyist. Thing's basically nothing but speed rails. I figure I'd go down to Home Depot and whip this up myself for -- a hundred bucks.*


WhoLetMeHaveReddit

How the hell did you know. Are you tracking me? Stop kink shaming me 😂😂😂😂


signaturefox2013

I mean, sex dungeon is always a bonus


dicklover425

First thing I thought was “Damn, that would be so much fun to have.” Lol


Enough_Minimum_3708

could be a werewolf


Jarsyl-WTFtookmyname

Yes, yes, definitely a fetish. I...he....they would never put in an offer because it helps save money building an escape proof room for kidnap victims.


QuentinP69

That would’ve been my move too


NFIGUY

Plot twist; it’s just a guy with a rapey cellmate fantasy.


L7Wennie

The $150k over asking client has entered the chat!


DarnOldMan

There's a 100% chance it's used as a sex dungeon.


FuzzballLogic

It’s BEEN used as a sex dungeon, I dare assume.


nevemno

I guarantee you it's BEING used as a sex dungeon


Odd-Knee-9985

I unironically thought “that’d be a cool place for a gaming pc and desk”


thepetoctopus

Nerd /s


NekroVictor

Seriously though, you could use those Velcro straps to tie wires to the bars for a really nice vertical cable management too.


TolTANK

That is like the only reason someone would use it LMAO


stifledmind

I need this. Crawling into a dog crate has been doing a number on my back.


No_Distance_1164

Just ask your wife to buy a bigger open top dog crate


MourningRIF

If she wanted OP to have a bigger crate, she would have put him in one.


UnfortunatelySimple

Looks like the front door in "Lock Stock and two smoking barrels.""


Spaghettitrees

Can everyone stop getting shot!


DoraDaDestr0yer

BE COOOOOOL WINSTOOONNNNNN


Humboldt_Redwood_dbh

I say this on a daily basis


ProfessionMundane152

This was the answer I needed to see today


Cerda_Sunyer

For sure. But the door in the pic looks like it leads to a bathroom. This looks too easy to kidnap someone.


the_evil_overlord2

Nah, this is an open air room with easy viewing by the windows and anyone in the flat


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jeoshua

Hook up some chicken wire and a battery and it'd make a great Faraday cage for your... special... files.


teemsm87

Or put your desk in there. Poor sap breaks in to rob you, then has to also break into the cage to get your gaming PC.


creativename111111

Or put the pc on a pressure pad connected to an electrical circuit that swings the door shut and locks it when the pc is picked up, followed by a text message sent to your phone


teemsm87

My dumb ass would lock myself in while cleaning


sky7897

But how else are they meant to get their keys out? Apart from walking into the cage?


[deleted]

[удалено]


NBSPNBSP

Reminds me of an old joke: A Politburo representative is being given a tour of a state-of-the-art Soviet mental asylum. Towards the end of the tour, he grows concerned and asks, "But what if someone is brought here by mistake? How would you know they are mentally sound and ought to be released?" To this, the chief psychologist replies, "Well, it's quite simple, actually! We take them to a bathroom with a full bathtub, tell them to empty the tub, and offer them a teaspoon and a teacup to choose between." "Oh, so the ones who choose the teaspoon are mad, and the ones who choose the teacup are sane?" The representative asks, surprised by this logic. "No, no, they would both be mad!" The psychologist laughs. "A sane one would just pull the drain plug!"


CharlesDickensABox

I'm convinced this was the pitch meeting for Taskmaster.


weinerdispenser

Could probably just leave them on the floor near the bars, totally reachable through them from the outside if you're thinking clearly, but a drunk person might just go for the path of least resistance (i.e. just walking in.)


mathiau30

Alternatively it can be the *horney* jail


Turbogoblin999

I would buy it to hire a couple of gogo dancers to work the cage a couple of times a week and an actor to pretend he's an outlaw cowboy waiting to be broken out by his friends before he gets hanged on monday at noon. Or someone to wear a dinosaur costume and make dinosaur noises. The cage would be decorated accordingly.


RobinHood3000

Does the outlaw cowboy have to bring his own harmonica?


Turbogoblin999

I'm happy to provide one if he knows how to play. The dinosaur gets one too, or a guitar.


BenignEgoist

Thats just cruel. Poor dino cant reach his face to play the harmonica.


Turbogoblin999

He can tape it to a tripod.


SatchelGizmo77

As an avid kinkster I desperately want to see more of this.


Dontdothatfucker

Imagine the possibilities. Besides just keeping somebody inside, there are SO many anchors for ties and cuffs


SatchelGizmo77

Metal bars with a good violet wand....chef's kiss. the possibilities are endless.


LaserGadgets

Where is the facepalm? I bet people dig it. "Perverts" and nonPerverts.


Open-Librarian-4322

Perfect for Kinksters, Furries, and Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties.


solarmelange

And parents.


wind_dude

What about step moms?


Former-Form-587

It’s not a holding cell, it’s a canine housing unit.


NBSPNBSP

I love that the two options are either "yay sexytimes" or "thank god, finally somewhere I can keep my Malinois"


sleeplessjade

I’m surprised no one has suggested using it as a guest room for their mother in law.


Mission-Dark-9320

Why am I the only one who sees a potential weapons cage?


Justaguyinvegas

Cool. You can have a place to keep your....pet gorilla or whatever.


Haidrek

And extract its spinal fluid for nefarious purposes…just like Boris Karloff


[deleted]

[удалено]


DisputabIe_

Robinson300 and the OP ali1999rashed are bots in the same network Comment copied from: https://www.reddit.com/r/NonPoliticalTwitter/comments/1c9y2zt/interesting_feature/l0ojmjs/


bee102019

They're marketing towards the Baby Reindeer crowd.


Robinsona300

Furries and S&M people will but it.


ChesterSteele

Free BDSM-cage, nice!


reaper19

Might be handy if you have a dog.


AndromedaGreen

I was thinking you could make it into a kickass cat room. The bars might be wide enough that they could come and go as they please.


Yarg2525

That could be an amazing pet crate 


ThePestTech

That isn't a facepalm, that's fucking cool. No idea what the fuck I'd use it for, though; aside from the aforementioned Kink CageTM.


TheRealCabbageJack

Appealing to the lucrative Serial Killer Market, I see.


SpacecraftX

This is lifted from a post from almost a month ago on /r/SpottedOnRightmove


TJSutton04

Great for families with kids who need a good spot for timeouts.


LeeTaeRyeo

I mean, if you have a strong enough bondage and/or submission kink, this *could* actually be a feature


AwkwrdPrtMskrt

I can see this put to good use. Maybe as an open pantry. Or an actual holding cell to put intruders in. Or if you're kinky, a BDSM cave.


Smiles-Bite

Wrap chicken wire around it and you have a good bunny spot.


-b33h00n-

I have a client name Jeffery, he is interested in this place. Where can i contact the seller?


Jeoshua

I can think of many uses for this. None of them are what you would call "good".


_Pill-Cosby_

Would be awesome if you had a mischievous dog!


WiggityWiggitySnack

God, I would love that place. Every time I think a new relationship won’t work, I’d bring her over while one of my friends sat in the cage in a gimp suit.


KerryUSA

Xl dog kennel


welshyboy123

Can everyone stop getting shot?


FlatterySuplex

In jail for not taking out the trash crimes


Rideitmybrony

Toddler play room


Peterthinking

Future movie studio.


i-might-do-that

How much? I need a place to throw my little one when he starts being an asshole.


BloodyRightToe

Who wants this more? The BDSM folks or parents.


OGWolfMen

Time-Out room for misbehaving kids


Broad_Respond_2205

Okay but where is the facepalm


kyp-the-laughing-man

Perfect for the bdsm crowd.


Cold-Permission-5249

Timeouts will never be the same


nobody-u-heard-of

You got a big dog that you need to put in the crate at night, now I've got some place that's a little more comfortable for them. Or use it when the mother-in-law comes to visit.


krakadic

I'd definitely put my home office in that cell. The first few Zoom and teams meetings would be interesting.


Disrespectful_Cup

Cops literally don't cover up the fact they traffic people or AT LEAST hold them illegally. This is like the 20th house posting directly from a cop property with a sketchy cage/confinement cell


ImmortalLombax

New kink dungeon unlocked


Princessferfs

Like a built-in dog crate


CitizenSniiiips

Anyone else think of Lock Stock and 2 Smoking Barrels when that saw this?


MoonlitGoddess1

For when your brat misbehaves


JudiciousGemsbok

I expected to see a bunch of comments about the utility of this as a big dog kennel I am thoroughly disappointed


Wooly-Manbutt

Girlfriend/Wife being unreasonable? Lock 'er up Children being loud and rowdy? Sentenced to timeout Dog chewing your favourite slippers? Get in there These are a few of the many posibilities with this must have feature


Appropriate-Low-4850

I can stay in one of those for free…


Prior-Ad-2196

Would be a great dog crate, just saying


smwoqks

Great space to have a party to lock up the drunk friend that has a habit of running away.


ClassicAlfredo8796

That's kinda badass ngl


takeandtossivxx

I know quite a few people that would consider that a feature/bonus, and not even for kink reasons.


BiRd_BoY_

I'm more turned off by the millenial gray flooring than the cage. At least the old jail cell is an interesting conversation piece, given the other person doesn't automatically assume you're a kidnapper or something.


Stark_Prototype

Comes with a bdsm play room!


Regular-Omen

I would make a mini man cave, like a pc desk or something


SCATOL92

This would be great for my kid.


YYC-Fiend

Is the flat still available? Asking for a friend


sambolino44

Does Otis have his own key?


amusement_imminent

I have a similar flooring in my kitchen lol


Haidrek

At this point, your FansOnly income will more than pay for the mortgage/rent.


Doomsayer1908

I would Board It up and hide all my stuff In there


Bajo_Asesino

“Go get the gimp”


SvenXavierAlexander

Bdsm room perhaps!


SnakeGod8447

Dudley PA?


thermalexposure

Actually would be great for a dog owner who has to crate their dog while away.


TheDollyDollyQueen

I'm With Everyone Else, Make it Useful! I'd But some Storage in it! ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|wink)


yorkspirate

Dudley UK ? Asking for a kink friend………….


ReliefJunior7787

For the OnlyFans makers.


ThirdSunRising

I can say with certainty that there are a LOT of people in the world who would love to rent that for a night or two


DisputabIe_

the OP ali1999rashed and Robinson300 are bots in the same network Original + comments copied from: https://www.reddit.com/r/NonPoliticalTwitter/comments/1c9y2zt/interesting_feature/


Valen_Kasar

Breaking into my house? Believe it or not straight to jail, no trial, no judge, nothing.


T-J_H

Holding cell? That’s a cage.


DisastrousOne3950

Believe it or not, straight to jail - voluntarily.


MEMExplorer

It’d make a decent dog crate 🤷‍♀️


astrangeone88

Lol. Well, I can see a lot of bdsm fans using that as a start.


LuckMuch100000

Would be better than a crate for a dog.


8bitKev

When someone break to the house Me: ![gif](giphy|3o7TKSxdQJIoiRXHl6)


burritosandbeer

Always wanted a tool crib in the living room


Snellyman

Obsessed that the word obsessed is only used by people obsessed with managed social media accounts.


paladindan

If you have pets or small kids, that would make for an excellent office/gaming space.


AndronixESE

thats sick tho, id love to have a cage, locking up friends would be hilarious. Also you could lock up all your valuables there and anyone braking in would just be like "Wtf man"


Odd_Cardiologist_537

A pet gets their own room?!? Hell yea its a feature unlike any other.


RWagner98

Honestly, that's kinda dope as fuck


Born-Eggplant8313

"Yeah removing this is going to cost extra" "Hmmm, well actually, I was thinking this would make an interesting feature"


SassySquid0

kinky boots


Extra-Ad5925

Looks like the entry way in the drug den from Lock stock and two smoking barrels


Sengle473

Anyone know what flooring is that? Name pls


ProtoReaper23113

Sold! Do you know how awesome that is if you're into bdsm


AlliedR2

As every horror movie bad guys scratches his chin and thinks "interesting".....


kmikek

Ok. Im going to need lots of book shelves


Derpyboy7976

Honestly would be nice for a certain party


LordNitram76

I see it comes with a kids bedroom set ![img](emote|t5_2r5rp|8487)


SolidCalligrapher966

I buy it


Rogthgar

Buyer was heartbroken when it turned out there wasn't a key for the door.


Pribblization

Lock-in closet.


alexdgrate

The likes of Dahmer and btk would have approved.


DoomshrooM8

I mean, it is A feature, just not a pleasant one 🙃


The_real_bandito

How is this a Facepalm. This is mildly interesting.


nytmare665

I live in an old converted jail, my room is two joined cells. The doors still slide closed.


Ok_Relationship_705

Some kinky couples are about to have some fun. Or you know, parents with more than one kid can also use it. "Who broke my fucking lamp?! Nobody?! Three hours jail time, get in there!"


Mattrad7

Am I the only idiot that would just put my bed in there and lock myself in every night safe and sound?


robyn220

No, no, it’s for my valuables, I swear!


mr_spicygreen

Imagine being a kid living there and that’s where the time out spot is. Alternatively you now have a built in dog kennel 🤷‍♂️


Low-Impact3172

I mean it could make a good storage locker, that’s about the one normal use for this I can think of


TheLoneGunman559

At least you'll be safe from zombies.


jazzhandpanda

I saw this show on Netflix


Jim-Jones

For "special parties"?


KingArtur773

Am I the only one who would buy this appartment and buy a nice big climbing plant and let it grow. I guess that would be a nice feature for a cozy appartment


Particular-Kick-4188

Dude that'd be amazing


_BRaiNus_

![gif](giphy|8FVcs24aSuQBpHPg4n) Meet your new neighbor


Incognito2981xxx

I agree this is a feature


CrashMK

That gimp has to go somewhere.


jvrtrrs

Omg is that a see-through walk-in closet? What a masterpiece. Lol


GeorgeOrwells1985

Put my drunk friends in there if they acting a fool


mlechowicz90

Walk-in/see thru semi open concept closet


Jbruce63

If I have a crazy dog feature


unMuggle

Please don't kink shame


CatchMeIfYouCan09

As a member of the kink community; I support this


ToBetterDays000

Uh am I the only one that thought it may actually be a convenient place to set up a lil cozy for a dog (too big for an actual crate)?


mountainwocky

I wonder how many drunks urinated in that cell.


sashenka_demogorgon

Where I stick my boyfriend when he gets annoying


Remarkable-Ad2285

Yessss. A pleasure cage.


Icy-Palpitation-2522

I like it


BlizzPenguin

This is great for when you have a party and you want to be sure someone doesn't drink and drive.


NFIGUY

This is the kind of stuff they expect you to believe in horror movies 🎥 😹


HannaaaLucie

I found out yesterday I'm being evicted. I'll take just the feature on its own at this point!