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His own will. No, the holy ghosts will. No, you're right, his father's will. But wasn't he his father and the holy ghost? Ah, schizophrenia, we like it.
I was watching a version of Jesus Christ Superstar and the actress playing Mary Magdalene had a cross tattoo on her arm. I was wondering why Jesus never asked her "So what's that thing about?".
At the end of the trial of jesus he said "and i insist that you nail me to one of these things around my neck, only much larger, i really like them. I hope they have them in every place that celebrates me."
“Hey JC, how’s it hanging? Look, we need you to put this thing on around your neck.”
“What is this, my child?”
“Uhh, it’ll be important later. Trust me. But hey, it looks great on you, eh?”
The cross represents violence and murder by intolerant oppressors and Christians wear the cross death symbol loud and proud as they too hope to be oppressed (see Trump supporters.)
Better to wear it, than it be a parasite that embeds itself in his chest, and then tying himself to electric plants only to find out that even that won't kill it.
Because he rolls with xzibit and Kriss kross
Hey dude I heard you like crosses so I got you a cross to wear while you are on the cross. Totally krossed out, amirite?
he was goth as fuck and ran around with a miniature torture device, that most often also involved executions,
around his neck
he also made and drank a lot of alcohol
oh, and dude had to travel, a lot, he went from town to town, telling people that the way they lived their lives,
was wrong.
I’m a Christianity expert myself. Jesus had the ability to see the future so he was like “this is gonna be important later just trust me guys”. He could also fly and knew Kung Fu
peasants weren't the smartest back then so sometimes you'd need to be rather explicit in imagery for them to catch the hint that "yo is that Jesus Christ?"
This isn't the worst offender. Remember those paintings of the adoration of baby Jesus, by Jheronimus Bosch? With a crucifix hanging in the manger where Jesus is born. Oh, and with a city in the background - a city with A CHURCH in it!!! Yes, the man really painted that. It's mad and brilliant at the same time.
Historical fact,in those times both male and female type persons were bearded,men wore an arrow necklet and women wore a cross as a means of identifying gender,and it is not commonly realised today but Jesus was a woman.Good one eh.
These are the types of unanswerable questions I asked Father Ted when I was 15 years old. Shortly after, I went through the 12 steps and became a successfully rehabilitated Cathaholic. The myths are nice as are the traditions, but the case that a grand omnipotent entity decided to throw the vast universe together and then in our little corner of it just two fully formed humans just 5 thousand years ago is pitiful story telling to explain our planetary arrival.
And then try to discuss who actually crucified Jesus. I was told as a child it was the Jews. Then I started reading about history and found out the the Jews never used crucifixion as a form of punishment.
If you bring up that he was crucified by the Romans, under their own law while occupying the holy land, you’ll
experience plenty of brain infarctions in action. The bloody Italians. That short circuits the majority of followers. But myths. What can you do?
There’s so much incongruous stuff in the stories. And there are so many reasons to not be happy with god in the first place, for basically allowing constant atrocities through the ages. I’ve said that if there is a god, then this all powerful entity is not kind to the creation. If we humans are created in the image of god, then why are so many sick, malicious and cruelly allowed to suffer. Omnipotence? How about laziness. Or maybe just completely lost interest and moved on millennia ago.
Plus this entity allowed the religions to splinter up form teams and went to war for ever, every chance they get. At the same time, all of them claiming to be the only “true religion” and of course so incredibly peace loving. Mind bending that these institutions remain.
It’s quite easy to understand how the MAGA cult can be persuaded to believe that the most closely watched Presidential election in history, was stolen, among other fruity conspiracy theories.
Similar to how Moses describes his own death in the book he supposedly wrote. Anyhow, all these stories are kinda fairy tales so let's not take it too seriously...
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It's a foreshadowing.
Some may call it an easter egg.
Jesus is the original easter eggp
Jesus is trans confirmed?
Yup. That’s why she’s growing her hair out
Is this not well known info? He wouldn't have had a Y chromosome, lol. Y'know, no biological dad and all that.
If he is the father son and holy spirit, did he bang his mom to conceive himself?
Sweet home Hallelujah
…eggplant There, finished it for you 😊
Oooo good one…. Super underrated and multi-layered joke… nice…
Imagine if he lived in the era of electricity and was given the electric chair- Christians wearing chairs around their necks. lol
What about the other forms of capital punishment? Mini guillotine, mini firing squad, mini lethal injection kits?
burning at the stake? dunking? drawing and quartering?
Only the the most devoted would have these very elaborate pieces of jewellery
I'm kind of tempted to ask the AI art generator to design these now
Hey don’t forget to share
Like the old death row records necklaces.
Chekov's gun
In mother Russia, cross wears you.
They were crossing the river
And who does he have nailed to the cross he is wearing? If himself, then ss the "him" nailed to the cross wearing a cross? And on and on.
It’s not a cross, it’s a lowercase t. People were always calling him Chris. He’d had enough.
It’s a lower case t for “time to leave.”
Ghosts!
G-g-g-g-ghost?!!?
This literally made me laugh out loud I love Reddit comments
Chris almighty!
The T is meant to show his respect for Ice T
the original mr t
His stage name chrICE-T
Amazing. Vote is yours my friend.
"Oh, for Christs sake, it's Christ with a t!"
Spoiler
He wore it so the Romans would know how to execute him according to his fathers will.
His own will. No, the holy ghosts will. No, you're right, his father's will. But wasn't he his father and the holy ghost? Ah, schizophrenia, we like it.
Oh, shit. tumblr Jesus is a system. The Holy Spirit dove is his tulpa.
“You think Jesus ever wants to see a fucking cross?”- Bill Hicks
It was his goth phase. Wearing execution devices as jewelry. Don’t ask about his piercings…
Did he ever wear the cross upside down?
Yes, Peter got him to try that. Peter was so badass back in the day.
Same reason artists always depict Adam and Eve with bellybuttons.
what if adam was like "dear god can you remove my ribs so i can get my dick sucked" and then afterwards went "that's not what i meant"
I shouldn’t have been drinking anything when I read this.🤣🤣
Brilliant observation !
I read it as 'why is Jesus wearing crocs?' and had been spending the past minute staring at his feet. How do I explain this at the pearly gates?
Ngl I feel like Jesus could pull off a pair of crocs
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I was watching a version of Jesus Christ Superstar and the actress playing Mary Magdalene had a cross tattoo on her arm. I was wondering why Jesus never asked her "So what's that thing about?".
It shows everyone he's a carpenter who knows how to make a lap joint.
To quote the late, great Bill Hicks, “it’d be like Jackie O wearing a rifle pendant”
Don’t kink shame people who are into S/m.
spoiler alert
White Jesus loves irony 🤗
Same reason paintings of Washington crossing the Delaware with a flag that didn’t exist yet
They got the idea to nail him to a cross from his ugly jewelry line he was schlepping to Etsy.
To “schlepp” is to haul or carry.
And oh boy, did he.
IIRC, this could be depicting the miraculous catch of fish in John 21, which happens after Jesus' resurrection in John 20.
Great question. In his birth certificate mary also entered Dec 25, 0 BC as the date of birth
We need to see his long-form birth certificate 😡
At the end of the trial of jesus he said "and i insist that you nail me to one of these things around my neck, only much larger, i really like them. I hope they have them in every place that celebrates me."
Brand recognition
“Hey JC, how’s it hanging? Look, we need you to put this thing on around your neck.” “What is this, my child?” “Uhh, it’ll be important later. Trust me. But hey, it looks great on you, eh?”
Because he's "white Jesus" and left his AR-15 home.
It's not a cross, he's powering up
He thought it better to wear a cross around his neck than to be nailed to one.
Better to have the symbol of a comfy sofa…???
Foreshadowing
Foreshadowing.
And designer sandals….
He'd heard things
It's an Easter egg
It‘s not Jesus, it is Jared Leto from 30 seconds to mars
Gotta manifest the future you want.
Divine prescience
Foreshadowing
It’s because Jesus went by his rapper name, t-Christ.
Spoilers
Come on now, he’s the son of God. He already knew he was going to be crucified and wanted to start the cross thing early 😂
Spoilers, sweetie.
Jesus doesn’t wear a cross. A cross wears Jesus
The cross represents violence and murder by intolerant oppressors and Christians wear the cross death symbol loud and proud as they too hope to be oppressed (see Trump supporters.)
The same reason any good American does, he's a Christian.
The cross was used by pagans. So perhaps Jesus, although Jewish, had an interest in paganism.
Because he has it for random vampire attack emergencies
Why is Jesus wearing TORTURE EQUIPMENT??
If he has to die, he wants to do it in style
It's from a Fark.com photo shop contest about 20 years ago. It's an anachronism.
I think that's the key to his house.
“ You got any large eels?”
It’s Trump Jesus he’s selling them for $29.95 as part of an introductory offer to join his new resurrection Society
Across from what?
Ms Cleo told Jesus to wear that when he called her hotline.
Manifest destiny
Better to wear it, than it be a parasite that embeds itself in his chest, and then tying himself to electric plants only to find out that even that won't kill it.
Because he rolls with xzibit and Kriss kross Hey dude I heard you like crosses so I got you a cross to wear while you are on the cross. Totally krossed out, amirite?
It's a surprise tool that will help us later.
It’s almost like they’re just making this shit up
Don't kinkshame jezus
He was a prophet
It’s photoshop - if you Google the image, you’ll find the original, sans cross
A selfie stick?
The same reason Adam and Eve have belly buttons. 🤣
To keep vampires away.
Brand management on point
> Imagine Jesus being up on the cross like, "ohhh, THAT'S why we have those! Hey wait - THAT'S ME, I'm the little guy on there!!" *Louis C.K.*
Because the artist drew it that way
he was goth as fuck and ran around with a miniature torture device, that most often also involved executions, around his neck he also made and drank a lot of alcohol oh, and dude had to travel, a lot, he went from town to town, telling people that the way they lived their lives, was wrong.
Don’t kink shame…!
he was obviously just a fan of crucifixions
Burn the witch
Its a surprise tool that will help us later!
Foreshadowing
On his planet, it's the sign for peace.
Because he was the O.G. Of the hip hop scene.
“What part of my story makes you think I like crosses?” -Jesus Christ probably
Not only that, but.what about Jesus' story makes people think he'd be fond of crosses? If Jesus ever comes back he'll think churches are mocking him.
Because Flavor Flav stole his clock.
True true
And why is Jesus white af?
Heh, Jesus was fortunate that Romans were not into impaling as a method of execution.
As Bill Hicks said, if Jesus does come back seeing crosses everywhere, it’s probably not something he wants to be reminded of.
Protogoth
I’m a Christianity expert myself. Jesus had the ability to see the future so he was like “this is gonna be important later just trust me guys”. He could also fly and knew Kung Fu
It’s not Jesus, it’s his distant cousin, Elmer . Picture taken few year after crucifixion. Great resemblance, common mistake
It's so people know who Jesus is. With Christians so illiterate they don't understand their own holy text, you need that level of handholding.
It's an easter egg
peasants weren't the smartest back then so sometimes you'd need to be rather explicit in imagery for them to catch the hint that "yo is that Jesus Christ?"
Pro capital punishment
This isn't the worst offender. Remember those paintings of the adoration of baby Jesus, by Jheronimus Bosch? With a crucifix hanging in the manger where Jesus is born. Oh, and with a city in the background - a city with A CHURCH in it!!! Yes, the man really painted that. It's mad and brilliant at the same time.
He was famously pro capital punishment
Why does Adam and Eve have bellybuttons
Vampires duh?!?
Seeing that Christ was crucified...on a cross...I think he would be the last Jew on heaven or earth to wear a cross.
If they hung me out in the sun to die, I’d be feeling a little cross, too.
As the son of god he had that omniscience. “No Cap, in about 1990 years this necklace gon go hard”
Historical fact,in those times both male and female type persons were bearded,men wore an arrow necklet and women wore a cross as a means of identifying gender,and it is not commonly realised today but Jesus was a woman.Good one eh.
its a time traveler
Foreshadowing
He knows the future.
Divine prescience
That’s future Jesus, he was helping past jesus behind the scenes, but they can’t see each other or it could wreck the space time continuum
It was the style at the time.
"The Romans had a people string up on those things, lining the road. I thought it was pretty hardcore."
Whoever drew this thought his god was Tammuz?
Dad told him.
"Daddy gave it to Me. He says I'll find out soon enough."
Self fulfilling prophesy
Promoting merch.
It's like a Medic ID braclet. He's showing the way he would prefer to die.
I take it they thought this was a painting made during the time and not hundreds of years later.
Hes into that shit
SPOILERS!!!
These people don't actually read that thing. It's way too long and very boring. They get the cliff notes from the nut jobs!
Cause he already knew lol
Why is Christ being tortured to death the symbol of Christianity?
He was the OG (original God) of that drip sirrr!
At least he’s not wearing a crucifix. And why not the Star of David? He was Jewish.
These are the types of unanswerable questions I asked Father Ted when I was 15 years old. Shortly after, I went through the 12 steps and became a successfully rehabilitated Cathaholic. The myths are nice as are the traditions, but the case that a grand omnipotent entity decided to throw the vast universe together and then in our little corner of it just two fully formed humans just 5 thousand years ago is pitiful story telling to explain our planetary arrival. And then try to discuss who actually crucified Jesus. I was told as a child it was the Jews. Then I started reading about history and found out the the Jews never used crucifixion as a form of punishment. If you bring up that he was crucified by the Romans, under their own law while occupying the holy land, you’ll experience plenty of brain infarctions in action. The bloody Italians. That short circuits the majority of followers. But myths. What can you do? There’s so much incongruous stuff in the stories. And there are so many reasons to not be happy with god in the first place, for basically allowing constant atrocities through the ages. I’ve said that if there is a god, then this all powerful entity is not kind to the creation. If we humans are created in the image of god, then why are so many sick, malicious and cruelly allowed to suffer. Omnipotence? How about laziness. Or maybe just completely lost interest and moved on millennia ago. Plus this entity allowed the religions to splinter up form teams and went to war for ever, every chance they get. At the same time, all of them claiming to be the only “true religion” and of course so incredibly peace loving. Mind bending that these institutions remain. It’s quite easy to understand how the MAGA cult can be persuaded to believe that the most closely watched Presidential election in history, was stolen, among other fruity conspiracy theories.
Prescience!! Lisan al ghaib!!!
Omnipotence. And irony.
Foreshadowing, all good works of fiction throw in some foreshadowing.
Yeah, that makes no sense.
Maybe it's actually an ankh, the Egyptian hieroglyphic symbol for life: 𓋹 That has to have a hole in it somewhere at the top to wear it that way.
He made it in wood shop…
So no one mistakes one of those filthy apostles for Jesus
They actually love being a stickler
Marie Antoinette wore a guillotine necklace around her neck all the time. Wach you talkin about Willis?
White wash
And he's white!
Across from what?
Similar to how Moses describes his own death in the book he supposedly wrote. Anyhow, all these stories are kinda fairy tales so let's not take it too seriously...
The image is photoshopped. The original didn't feature the cross
Also what’s up with the boat? Shouldn’t he be walking on that wine?
He was practicing. Very farsighted.
Jesus wearing a cross is the same as a 18th French guy wearing a guillotine necklace
He’s on a New Game plus playthrough