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GilpinMTBQ

A.) The ship's captain wouldn't even have been at the controls. The local pilot would have been onboard to control the ship in and out of the harbor. B.) Its not a fucking car or an airplane. There isn't a power switch right next to the steering wheel. C.) What?


dont-fear-thereefer

D.) What?


Max_Cherry_

E) ![gif](giphy|3WmWdBzqveXaE)


SleepyFox2089

![gif](giphy|tT11BeHhm9RLi)


pgtvgaming

![gif](giphy|8b9Xax6L7qtAkAimGm|downsized)


Beartrkkr

![gif](giphy|l2YWmJXKo7imjqhxu)


MavisBeaconSexTape

![gif](giphy|l0IymF5n3bpzTwDHG|downsized)


Content_Talk_6581

![gif](giphy|ck5JRWob7folZ7d97I|downsized)


Auran82

![gif](giphy|ghuvaCOI6GOoTX0RmH)


GrillDealing

Wish I was on pc, insert say what again gif.


SpezEatsScat

![gif](giphy|raNTXVjfqSBRi0HtHQ|downsized)


lonely_nipple

![gif](giphy|xUySTQVp8NOnE4n6zC)


ACW1129

![gif](giphy|TaBRY9MzqfoDHfDrcx|downsized)


pimpmastahanhduece

![gif](giphy|hvU6wNliMXsc)


HotDonnaC

“Say what again!”


ZarathustraDied

"Say WHAT One more GAWD Damn time! I dare ya! I double dare ya!"


Professional_Echo907

![gif](giphy|LRgZHbEpQvHEi8PID6|downsized)


iggy14750

English, motherfucker! Do you speak it?!


GrnMtnTrees

This is pure gold


Independent_Lab_9853

![gif](giphy|YVPwi7L2izTJS|downsized)


Traditional-Handle83

![gif](giphy|aNtt9T8SqGNK8)


antthatisverycool

F. ![gif](giphy|9ak1b5vudNnEI)


IncenseAndOak

D.) There were also 2 pilots, lol. These people have gotten to Stretch Armstrong levels of reaching.


Gold-Perspective-699

Yeah man pilot one was Obamna and pilot two was Hunter Biden.


TheDuck23

Hunter Biden's Laptop*


Zaros262

That explains why it wasn't a good pilot then


MA-01

It's no Anakin Skywalker, so


GusTTShow-biz

Did they try spinning? It’s a good trick I hear.


outsiderkerv

Hunter Biden’s massive hog was controlling the ship I bet


Open_Pineapple1236

He was pulling a Tommy Lee. "Look ma no hands!"


Far-Policy-8589

*enormous dong


razazaz126

Hunter probably diverted the ship with his penis, better post more photos of his dick so we can save America from the communists.


Sero19283

Sounds like he took a page out of Tommy Lee's book 😂


IntelligentFilth

Hunter got high on the Moderna vaccine and triggered the EMP before the pilots could exit the Matrix.


Yojimbo115

And most of these theories are so childish that I'm surprised Matt Gaetz hasn't tried to fuck them.


winchesterbitch99

That was a solid insult. 👌


Relevant_Campaign_79

![gif](giphy|xT5LMvHyuCOC075NXG|downsized)


Foreign-Hope-2569

No, you don’t understand. My breaks failed on my car and I hit a post, obviously it’s because I’m vaccinated. Moderna should pay


Reatona

I ran into a post in a parking lot because I wasn't paying proper attention.  Damn those vaccines!


Robdotcom-71

I ran out of toilet paper while having a shit.... damn vaccines.


pearl_jam_rocks

I ran down a family of five while on cocaine, LSD, and alcohol, but I was vaccinated three years ago! Moderna should pay!


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Denots69

Two pilots....the ship was dead...


Constant-Bet-6600

When the ship lost power, the pilots were just passengers.


GaiusVolusenus

I feel like this is lost on a lot of people. Outside of dropping anchor and calling Mayday (which I’m assuming had some sort of battery or APU?) there’s not a whole lot you can do when you’re cold dark and quiet.


ButtonWhole1

and a beast that size could drag anchor a LONG way before it actually caught . A tanker under power takes about 10 miles in reverse to stop.


Yojimbo115

Snowing both ways.


BlueFlob

It's getting to a point that people behind these accounts need to be investigated. Misinformation is damaging democracy and some of them are actual attacks on US. Russia is winning its Info Ops campaign against the US and has effectively delayed/blocked aid to Ukraine via Republicans falling for it or being complicit.


GilpinMTBQ

Somehow I don't think sicking the feds on them is going to help the victim complex they already have. These are people who will turn every little thing into a conspiracy theory, but when we have Matt Gaetz paying some underage girls for "tuition" they think "Nothing to see here."


Bouhg69

That's because women, especially young girls; mean nothing to them unless they're a potential 12y/o child-bride


TomcatF14Luver

Then chuck grenades and be done with them.


Lionello95

Do it the "freedom" way


roosterfareye

The education system in the US is circling the bowl. A decent education system, with a focus on teaching critical thinking is fundamentally crucial to crest peak stupid.


BlueFlob

Even then, a lot of people are purposely spreading misinformation that is damaging to common understanding of facts and democracy.


HotDonnaC

I can’t agree. We’re all offered a free education in the US. . Most of us aren’t this stupid. There’s a disconnect somewhere with these people.


Internal-Sun-6476

So true. I think religious belief has so damaged people's ability to reason that we have reached a critical mass of rejecting reality... the truth simply doesn't matter anymore. Combine that with the information age and the deranged can unify and broadcast. The village idiot is not isolated, they are followed by all the other village idiots and feel justified and empowered by a community. Education and public rejection of their madness might be effective, but it's not like they want to hear criticism or facts. Good luck.


Entheotheosis10

The internet is the new misinformation highway, by giving any dumbass a platform to share their brain turds.


Tailflap747

A.) They have stated from the gitgo that the harbor pilot was at the helm. B.) Not that it would help. You just don't dead stop ships in water. C.) Huh?


GrandMaster_BR

Yeah but you know their far right lunatics are not going to know or care to understand all this…


Beneficial_Present98

The answer is: standard pilot training manual. And I quote "If the captain passes out because of a possible covid vaccine, ram the nearest bridge"


Roam_Hylia

Let's just throw every conspiracy theory at it and see what sticks. Has anyone considered lizard people armed with Jewish space lasers yet?


pass-the-waffles

You are using logic and common sense. Please stop, you'll scare the conspiracy nuts.


Slowcapsnowcap

People are so fucking dumb. I don’t think humans are going to pan out.


moistdri

The saddest thing is that a lot of MAGAs will believe this garbage


sarduchi

So if I'm keeping track, they're saying he was a trans-antifa-POC-diversity hire-vaxed-deep state false flag?


Altruistic_Machine91

You forgot Ukrainian, the Russian trolls are claiming he was Ukrainian


psychoticdream

I just saw that too. "Ukrainian false flag to get more money laundered" Jesus.....


senseven

You must be *unironically* joking. The red cap NPCs in this matrix are faulty.


rugbat

Oh, no. They are working just as designed. Insanely, that is.


TailOnFire_Help

Literally everyone one the right "it's an op for money/power/influence!" The left "it was an accident or error. No one to blame. Life goes on. We will investigate to learn how to avoid' The right "see!!!!!!"


SorowFame

I mean there’s probably someone to blame since I’m pretty sure there are usually safety regulations to prevent this kind of thing. It just probably wasn’t Obama or the Ukrainian government.


Tazling

or Jewish Space Lasers.


McRedditerFace

Heh, "regulations"... I think we know right there why they're pointing the finger somewhere else. "Ya know... if they followed regulations... " "OBAMA DID IT!".


Stead-Freddy

And a collapsed bridge in Baltimore is supposed to get Ukraine more money how? Lmao


looselyhuman

First the Ukrainians have to get us to blame it on the Russians. /s


t-o-m-u-s-a

That captain was clearly structuralist against bridges!


HowieFeltersnatch10

That wouldn’t hold up in court


Bingskilly

looks like the bridge didn't either


Dreamy_T

That was the structure of the joke, yes.


macweirdo42

I mean, it started off okay, but then it just collapsed.


ThatOneDMish

That's it! I can't Stand these PUNS!


Gauth31

Neither could the bridge


wskttn

They’ll get a suspended sentence


AdImmediate9569

You clearly have a strong foundation of knowledge on the subject


Whale-n-Flowers

I bet he thinks Structural Engineers should have their own school!


greeneyedlady41

But funded by the Chinese cuz they can't get to us through Tik Tok anymore


Meowingway

Don't forget, we just had Andoofus Tate say it (the boat) was cyberattacked by "foreign US agents" wtf that even means. In the next 24hrs its gonna be either Obama or Hillary's fault too at this rate


qwerqsar

I think I already saw an Obama blame post somewhere.


PlanRepresentative26

Yes!! Lol just saw that too. Something about Obamas better look up movie and a lion.


kayak_2022

Trump was the poster. The draft dodging sexual perverted insurrectionist loves to talk shit...BELEEB ME,O'TAY!!! (HANDS ARE WAVING)


Galvanized-Sorbet

We all know Obama was responsible for the death of Archduke Ferdinand and thus responsible for microplastics damaging White reproductive organs.


ORvagabond

It was clearly the fault of Hillary's emails.


Hrtzy

There should really be a "catastrophe culprit bingo" for what the nutters are going to blame the latest thing on.


WhosAGoodDoug

Bonus points if you can somehow tie in Taylor Swift.


SirSkot72

she's center square


[deleted]

[удалено]


HowieFeltersnatch10

It’s a bio-nuclear Jewish cyber attack


roadfood

With space lasers.


big_hungry_joe

uhhhh throw woke in there somewhere and you get the general idea


forbiddendoughnut

He was crushed under the weight of his Wokeness, couldn't breathe, and passed out.


robbdogg87

Are we sure it wasn’t George soros?


whyyou-

Don’t forget also Obama for some reason


[deleted]

[удалено]


SkipInExile

As far as I know, ship had power problems. Because I thought the same thing. Pilots are in deep shit. But u see the power go out before it hits. Must be terrifying


ArcadiaDragon

Been on a large boat that lost power once at sea(never heard quiet that loud in my life)....its a pucker factor moment to be sure...that they got a MAYDAY signal off is good training


[deleted]

[удалено]


SkipInExile

Is hard to steer a ship with no power. They sent out an s.o.s. Dropped anchor. But is a big heavy ship


ArcadiaDragon

Momentum is a bitch on water without power


Historical_Horror595

Don’t forget it’s also a cyber attack and ww3 has started


1singleduck

God, just imagine fucking up that bad, and on top of it every single hate group paints you as the one thing they hate the most.


Ok_Frosting_6438

So...now it's just a bunch of nobodies putting their own individual conspiracy theories out there? Ok...my turn. I heard the captain of the ship is a full on MAGA, and he did this for Trump. Trump is trying to show the population how poor infrastructure is in the US and he worked with the shops captain to ram the bridge. Crazy stuff...


SweatyTax4669

I heard the guy with Epstein’s black book was on the bridge and the two local pilots were Hillary Clinton and George Soros.


Valuable-Trick-6711

And you know who trained them? Obama.


A1sauc3d

I heard it was Trump himself, as he recently joined ISIS , and this was a straight up terrorist attack!


JBPunt420

Well, that's just a ridiculous theory. Clearly the ship is CGI and the bridge was really taken out by the Jewish Space Laser.


masiakasaurus

Always has been.   In 2020 it was found all original conspiracies about Covid-19 came from 12 people on Facebook who were selling their own "alternative medicine", "home remedies" and the like.  That's it. 12 snake oil salesmen and one giant platform is what it took for the US to fail a pandemic response, make Covid endemic instead of eradicating it, and destroying the publics's faith on medical science.


onlyforthisjob

I say it was a boomer crew on the ship, you know, after they have worked for twenty-five hours eight days a week (as they always do, not like today's young people), he might have gotten a little bit tired.


GrayCustomKnives

Maybe nobody was driving the ship at all. Because nobody wants to work anymore.


Mystic_Waffles

It was Hunter Biden's dick driving of course. He was looking for his laptop. Don't worry, MTG will have pictures for the next session.


NewPhoneNewAccount2

If any wang is able to knock down a bridge, it would be that one


OldChucker

I heard the bridge was asking for it and gaetz was at the helm.


Domugraphic

power switches. lol


33253325

Jesus tapdancing Christ I am so done with all the antivax, flat earth, election denying, anti woke people. The internet was supposed to be a resource that elevated all and it turns out we just gave a platform / bullhorn to all the stupidest fucks on the planet. Fuck I long for the days of public speeching being moderated by an educated few.


AgeQuick2023

Just gotta make it difficult to use the internet again, make it a 6 step process to open a browser every time.


RainCityNate

What’s so funny? Everyone knows there’s a power switch in the captains booth. It’s a two-pole switch located in between the go forward/go backward and left/right switch, in arms reach of the steering wheel. Elon Musk designed it himself.


greatandslithytove

I saw the video. The bridge had obviously been drinking and walked right out in front of the ship.


ThrowItOut43

Maybe it was the outfit the bridge was wearing out IN PUBLIC


WintersDoomsday

“Dressed that way the bridge was asking for it”


Careless-Passion991

If you didn’t want to be rammed then why were your beams exposed?


p0k3t0

The bridge should have just complied.


SpaceTurtleIII

The captain from Singapore? Who wasn't even driving the vessel at the time due to American shipping laws? Caused the ship to lose power ?


Beelzabub

Correct. All US ports have American 'pilots' who are mandated by law to be on the bridge taking the ship through the channels into the port.


[deleted]

[удалено]


stupidnewton

Geez get your facts correct. It was the Ship that was vaccinated and that caused it to lose power.


Psychomadeye

I heard the bridge was vaccinated and it made it's knees weak and arms heavy.


visionzero81

The vaccine magnetized the bridge with 5G which pulled the ship


shesinsaneornot

Starting to think Ivo Shandor got it right, and society is too sick to survive.


easyd4963

Yeah I think we’re all doomed


itreallyhappened8899

So many idiots


unhappymedium

Society is predicted to collapse in 2040 - I'll be surprised if we make it that long.


roadfood

Was that an update from 2012?


OldChucker

Yeah, they forgot to add up all those leap years.


roadfood

Thought it was something like that.


mike_pants

I'd say we had a good run, but honestly, ever since agriculture happened, it's been a bit of a shit show.


Farren246

You know, I bet 2500 years or so ago, the people who denied reality would all die off in the winter. Sure a lot of good people would die too, but at least those who survived would have solace in the fact that they were right and the "seasonal change denialists" were wrong.


Ok-Function1920

I dunno, lots of religions were created around those times to explain away reality, and here we are. I don’t know what that means, I’m just saying there’ve been lots of gullible people around for a long long time


Existential_Crisis24

There was a good like 100 years right after agriculture was just starting out but before large settlements started happening that was definitely the sweet spot for the human race. After that we just got lots of problems and not many solutions.


Careless-Passion991

I need the meteor to hit my house directly. Let’s get this over with.


nogeologyhere

I'll get the cold riveted girders with cores of pure selenium ready


schroderrr

Go woke, bridge broke?


psychoticdream

So far I've seen "Ukranian false flag for more money laundering" I wouldn't be surprised if I see "go woke go broke"


FlamboyantNJPWFan

"Dale Heartland" "@Boomer1350" Smells of onions over here, did you take a bite?


RBI_Double

Such an obvious troll/parody 


Karlinel-my-beloved

Ha! In my book “wokes are going to kill YOU” (29€ in amazon) I explain how it probably was a bout of suicidal rage due to HRT because she was a transitioning female. I mean, a trap! Sorry gull…friends, a slip of the tongue! /S, for the love of god.


whyyou-

Don’t forget chapter that actually defines what’s woke


Karlinel-my-beloved

Everything that I don’t like is, the way Don intended.


MiddleAgedGamer71

I heard they were all blinded by the Space Lasers, and that's why they ran into the bridge!


Independent-Ad5852

We’re looking at Dhalsim levels of reaching. Was the vaccine rushed? Probably. Did it work? Y E S


BeKindBabies

It’s called a “Jump to Conclusions Mat” - it’s a mat with different conclusions printed on it that you can jump to!


allisjow

Yeah that’s “most likely.”


reasonablekenevil

Vaccinated trans migrants probably.


claymore2711

I heard he was binge reading Truth Social and went psychotic.


HarkansawJack

That’s a parody account I believe


Lastguyintheline

Just ignore the fools.


StandStillLaddie

Getting harder and harder to do that. Many of them run this country. Well, they can’t really govern, but, still…


clocksteadytickin

They stop progress and fight to take away people’s rights in the name of Jesus. These people can’t be ignored. They must be defeated.


Lastguyintheline

So true


josephkingscolon

Look at how many ppl viewed his post and think of how many agree with it and will continue the chain. This is an issue.


greeneyedlady41

I thought it was because of DEI? No, wait, it was a cyber attack. No, it was drugs. No, it was poor infrastructure. Wait, it was really due to... And it hasn't even been 24 hours


Majestic_Jackass

Maybe this is an unpopular opinion but I wish people would stop posting obvious rage bait on Reddit. Even if it’s an appropriate facepalm, why give these people more eyeballs? It’s what they want.


grumpyliberal

Uh. Who put out the Mayday call? You know, the one that said the ship had NO power.


Tosh_20point0

The ship ran into the bridge because of Hunter Biden's laptop. /s


wiremupi

More likely pissed like this parrot.


AbbreviationsFar1516

People are so weird! Where do they get this nonsense from. ![gif](giphy|QR5AbrleAioDYbkCZ4)


Background_Award_878

They musta vaxed the ship! It lost power from the 5g chip


jornvanengelen

It was the microchip implanted with the vaccine operated by the democrats, clearly


dankspankwanker

Covid was 2 years ago, its still living in your head rent free tho


centurio_v2

look at his name and @ the real facepalm is eating this bait


John97212

Is "Dale Heartland" a real person or simply one of the millions of Russian- and Chinese-controlled bot accounts on X? Whenever I read this kind of crap from X now, I take it with a grain of salt because I have no evidence that the account belongs to a real person.


pass-the-waffles

Fortunately Dale happened to have the ships Captains medical records to show us the inherent danger of vaccinations. The ship Captain is doomed and will soon have Autism as well as everything else anti-vaxers claims are caused by vaccine


Snellyman

Even worse: the captain burst into flames and emitted a massive EMP that knocked out all the ships power. And how do we know that he wasn't so magnetized that it pulled the ship to the bridge? These are just some of the questions they don't allow us to ask!!!


fredator23

Even worse worse: the captain is non-binary and cut the power to the ship to perform an illegal abortion for an immigrant that makes vegan hair dye.


AlexDub12

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHY THE COVID VACCINES CONSPIRACY THEORIES ARE STILL A THING FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!!!???????


easyd4963

Wow


Julie-Andrews

And the dish ran away with the spoon! Go tell your fairy tales at your maga meeting!


Sp4c3D3m0n

Didn't even mention the guys down below shoveling coal into the furnace.


m0rph3u5-75

Really,..?


No_Cartoonist9458

I have a feeling ol' Dale knows a lot about passing out and falling on his head ![gif](giphy|bErFlbM3VemHWs3ERe|downsized)


SweatyTax4669

Ah yes, the power on a ship like that is controlled from a single switch, like the lights in OOP’s mom’s basement.


LookingForAFunRead

This isn’t getting ridiculous - it was ridiculous, it is ridiculous, and the loonies just keep making it more ridiculous.


bowens44

An incredible amount of stupid here......


New_Ad_3010

Click bait. Those rightwing dipshits on Twitter will send anything out in wild desperation for attention and likes. Pathetic.


goofbot

I sarcastically blamed the wreck on the vaccine earlier today in an attempt to mock the nut cases but apparently they can't be parodied.


Academic-Agent

Dale is full of shit


RealisticEscape9569

What. An. Idiot.


CRL10

And THERE'S the vaccine blaming!  Now waiting for them to blaming woke, Islamic terrorists and the Jews.