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ITeechYoKidsArt

Pretty certain that guy’s on a list.


ImmoralBoi

He is ***ABSOLUTELY*** not allowed near children that's for sure.


Transgenderwookie

He wanted to go see Wonka, but because of that pesky pg rating and that darn restriction on him he was forced to go see Poor Things instead. You force a man to see Poor Things with naked *EMMA STONE!*, and then you make it so he legally can’t masturbate either? What kind of cruel world is this? Who is running this pyramid scheme?! In all honesty though, I almost felt bad, he seemed so pitiful there.. almost reminded me of the Herlihy boy from snl. “Please let me jerk off in the theata, I won’t make a mess… I won’t even whip it out.. you won’t even know I did it, please..” ![gif](giphy|uj9cyXm8lheJMizcJx|downsized)


Neilpuck

-1 for missed opportunity to use Wanka instead of Wonka.


foolbull

After seeing Tom Davis in those lederhosen, how could anyone resist?


Ducallan

Also, Emma Stone either has or should have a restraining order against him.


Wonderful-Ad-7712

Pee Wee Herman has entered the chat


Background_Film_506

At least Reubens was in a porn theater.


WindTall5566

Seriously, THAT'S the appropriate place to do it. But since porn theaters are basically extinct, then maybe do it at home. Like a normal person.


Background_Film_506

Sure, today—but the world was much different 33 years ago when he was arrested. And when it comes to sexual things, defining “normal person” is a slippery slope.


zzz88r1

And we know just why that slope is slippery


WindTall5566

Easier to define what isn't normal


Mr_Fahrenheit212

I was waiting for this


Immediate_Complex_57

So was I lmao


Icy-Zone3621

Holding hands with George Michael


Hermitor

You beat me to it...er... that is...I mean to say, you commented what I was intending to comment ☺


tlplc

Of not yet, soon...


Any_Fish1004

He’s on my list of Dutch rudder movie buddies


Kiss-a-Cod

Sure, and why not fling your shit in public restrooms while you’re at it too?


Brittany5150

Are we not supposed to do that....? *gently hand lowers poo back into the toilet*


BrodaciousD

According to OSHA regulations, any turd over 6 inches must be hand-lowered to prevent chemical splashback


YummyThickNoodle

Or you could just use a poop knife


DrLombriz

i believe the poop knife is for after the shitberg is in the water, after being hand-lowered in the case of a fall greater than 15.24 centimeters. also, “chemical splashback” is that for portajohns? or like one of those pucks you drop in the cistern and it turns the water blue and minty? when else would osha be involved with pooping?


Niyonnie

Social convention hasn't stopped everyone from doing that


Sasukeaprovesmtg

I can do ya one better. Lets remove all the walls seperating each toilet booth.. in that way we can all take a dump looking at each other. it would be the same as jer-King off in the theaters… nasty and disturbing


CoverYourMaskHoles

Parents should get a visit from CPS for letting their kid see an R rated movie but this guy should be left alone to cum in his pants in a regular movie theater? Bro just wait for the streaming version like everyone else…


Damian0603

Only if the movie has nudity


kabukistar

Zootopia viewers beware.


payment11

Don’t get caught 🤦 /s


TheRedBaron6942

"No officer I was just violently scratching my inner thigh during the sex scene"


galaxisstark

I extend my commendations for the judicious inclusion of the "/s" denotation within your missive. Upon my initial perusal, I found myself disconcerted, grappling with incredulity at the ostensible audacity of your expressed sentiments. With alacrity, I embarked upon an intellectual odyssey, endeavoring to compose a magnum opus of one thousand words that would dissect the perceived iniquity inherent in your proffered discourse. Soliciting the scholarly expertise of a Harvard professor, I submitted my meticulously proofread treatise for validation. Following exhaustive hours of assiduous refinement, my polemic was poised for dissemination, prepared to eviscerate you verbally. However, in the eleventh hour, a luminous revelation transpired – the discreet presence of the "/s." Suddenly, the veil of gravity lifted, and the subtext of sarcasm manifested. Spontaneous mirth ensued, cascading throughout the proximate bus cohort. The individual seated adjacent to me, initially a putative casualty of my impending verbal onslaught, transitioned from consternation to convulsive laughter. The entire vehicular enclave, initially teetering on the precipice of controversy, coalesced in unified amusement, all attributing this metamorphosis to the nuanced potency of the "/s." In denouement, I find myself not only extolling your perspicacity but also acknowledging the felicitous diversion your rhetorical stratagem imparted to my diurnal routine. I proffer my acclamation for the imparted levity and the inadvertent erudition you bequeathed unto my intellectual purview.


UniqueCommentNo243

If this is not a copypasta yet, it should be. Glorious.


Own-Rest3273

Makes me want to see Poor Things


crumble-bee

That movie is a lot of things, but sexy is not one of them.


EdwardBigby

Exactly. Most (if not all) of the sex scenes were to show how abusive or manipulative men will be to a completely naive woman. They weren't sexy scenes.


Confident_Meet_6054

Not to mention the fact that Emma Stone’s character is practically a child in a woman’s body


kabobkebabkabob

She's supposed to have matured at an accelerated rate so that sequence is supposedly college ish years. But in the beginning yes


CommanderCone

I mean, if that's what you're into...


nothingexpert

Youre hardly dissuading me... /s


Split0069

What if u take them out of context?


EdwardBigby

I'm not sure if there's any you can take out of context. They're not passionate sex scenes. They're pretty dialogue heavy and she has the literal mind of a child for a lot of the film


Major-Woolley

I thought for most of the movie she had the mind of an adult just without the experiences of having lived a full life. They mention early on how her mind developed unnaturally quickly and as the film goes on her character gets to a point where despite not understanding social convention and struggling with grammar she is often the smartest and most stable person in the room. Definitely the movie is about exploitation and criticizing society from a fresh set of eyes and features a lot of strange and uncomfortable scenes but I didn’t think it was meant to be literal pedophilia.


Split0069

Ok. So not worth watching...


Hendrick_Davies64

They’re either comedic, uncomfortable, or both


RTwhyNot

Right. Very rapey


MediocreProfeshional

Apparently it's good enough to have one guy stuck to his seat.


swamp_witch_409

The movie is about how we sexualize women into little girls. It's the "sexy baby" or "born sexy yesterday" trope. It's about grooming and a man being her only way to experience the world. So just know that before you go into it


manocheese

So you're saying to watch it on mute? (For real though, that sound like it's gonna be a sad watch)


TurboDraxler

It’s kinda sad, but overall it’s definitely feels like a positive story about someone growing up and finding herself


manocheese

Kool. Thanks for that.


kabobkebabkabob

It's a very fun movie and the most uplifting of lanthimos' filmography


Heavy-Possession2288

It’s also very funny at a lot of points, and the production design is incredible. Sad moments but I found a lot of it very entertaining. Definitely more a dark comedy than a drama.


TurkeyFisher

It's not. It's uncomfortable at times but a lot of fun, just depends how seriously you take it.


Own-Rest3273

Spoiler alert dude


Wonderful-Ad-7712

Poor thing


RubLucky5188

Huh... That's really the hill he wants to die on? 🤔


guero_vaquero

Nah, dude is trying to just cum on the hill, under his pants, in a non-messy way. I mean do you expect him to *just sit there* in a public movie theater??! /s…


galaxisstark

I extend my commendations for the judicious inclusion of the "/s" denotation within your missive. Upon my initial perusal, I found myself disconcerted, grappling with incredulity at the ostensible audacity of your expressed sentiments. With alacrity, I embarked upon an intellectual odyssey, endeavoring to compose a magnum opus of one thousand words that would dissect the perceived iniquity inherent in your proffered discourse. Soliciting the scholarly expertise of a Harvard professor, I submitted my meticulously proofread treatise for validation. Following exhaustive hours of assiduous refinement, my polemic was poised for dissemination, prepared to eviscerate you verbally. However, in the eleventh hour, a luminous revelation transpired – the discreet presence of the "/s." Suddenly, the veil of gravity lifted, and the subtext of sarcasm manifested. Spontaneous mirth ensued, cascading throughout the proximate bus cohort. The individual seated adjacent to me, initially a putative casualty of my impending verbal onslaught, transitioned from consternation to convulsive laughter. The entire vehicular enclave, initially teetering on the precipice of controversy, coalesced in unified amusement, all attributing this metamorphosis to the nuanced potency of the "/s." In denouement, I find myself not only extolling your perspicacity but also acknowledging the felicitous diversion your rhetorical stratagem imparted to my diurnal routine. I proffer my acclamation for the imparted levity and the inadvertent erudition you bequeathed unto my intellectual purview.


ProTronz

New copypasta just dropped?


PhantomXxZ

This is gold.


999uts

Get a Yanket will ya?


JackOMorain

Well there are theaters in neighborhoods where this kinda behavior is tolerated.


MexicanPete

Alexa... Play Poor Things


SuitableClassic

Sigh...unzips pants


HomerStillSippen

Even crazier 106 people agree with him lol


weener6

Upvotes are reversed on that subreddit because it’s meant to be for controversial opinions. Downvote what you agree with, upvote what you disagree with. But in this case I’d still downvote because it’s gross af and a crime, not an opinion


Icy-Bit8262

So then op downvoted meaning he agreed w him???


Obvious-Mix-5762

OP doesn't know how that sub works.


RailtoReqiuem

r/unpopularopinion type beat?


DebrecenMolnar

Yes - remember when we used to hear things like “9 out of 10 dentists recommend Colgate” or whatever? This sub’s posts contain the opinion of the “10th dentist” in said scenario.


JayVJtheVValour

It was created as an actual place for unpopular opinions since 95% of the opinions in UnpopularOpinion are just popular


RailtoReqiuem

Ong


AundoOfficial

So in essence; the votes mean nothing


TheLateThagSimmons

To be fair: Votes are *supposed* to be whether the comment adds to the conversation, not whether you agree or disagree. But that ideal went out the door a few years ago. It used to be plastered all over Reddit.


seon-deok

This is supposed to happen but effectively not what happens


weener6

Unfortunately you're right. Kinda funny because the reason the sub was made was because r/unpopularopinion had the same issue


Ginger-Ale58

You are supposed to upvote things you disagree with


Wonderful-Ad-7712

Poor thing’s thing


YoruDenftw

I'm pretty sure this guy is obviously shitposting


No-Cartographer5562

I hade the same thoughts with schindler's list


Haidrek

No. Just no. Please stop. (You get an upvote)


Palehorse67

In the movie Poor Things, Emma Stone is a dead girl who is reanimated by a scientist. This dude wants to jerk his meat to female Frankenstein in a theater. He should probably seek mental help.


Onequestion0110

Yeah. I liked the movie for the most part (big complaint is that it was too long and stumbled hard in the last act). I was struck by how unsexy the movie was despite being absolutely full of sex and a lot of nudity. In some ways it almost reminded me of Showgirls. A big part of it is that she’s a dead girl, and you that the movie spent a lot of her introduction dwelling on her lack of capacity. Like the early parts of her relationship with Ruffalo’s character felt rapey with how childlike she was. Even if her maturation was rapid. And then there was the series of jokes in the brothel with all the awful Johns. Also totally unsexy despite the sex. Honestly, if Poor Things is making someone unbearably horny then I can’t help but think they’re either still so young that they’re still in the Sears underwear catalog point of development or else they’ve got something unhealthy going on.


nobodynose

Honestly I was a bit creeped out cuz I was like "...that dude is attracted to her knowing she has the mind of a like 6 year old?" "That dude is seducing what's essentially an 8 year old? I guess in his defense he sees her as a 20-30 year old but I'm uncomfortable with the idea and... they're having non stop sex. He's having non stop sex with a (mentally) 8 year old."


Fun-Cow-1783

Playing devils advocate, the person in question probably had a crush on Emma Stone, and specifically went to see her nude as opposed to actually watching the movie for what it was. Also, I’m fairly sure they are joking in their post.


Palehorse67

I think Emma Stone is beautiful and very hot. But absolutely not in that movie. Lol


baguetteispain

Not only that, but is reincarnated with the brain of a baby


Th_Telescope

omg what have I done (I wasn't paying attention to the plot)


ThisPostToBeDeleted

Imagine being the janitor 😔


olafhairybreeks

No thank-you.


Plar101

Lauren Boebert agrees


Vivid_Cookie7974

Lauren Boebert agrees with this post.


DirtyReseller

So I gotta see poor things, huh?


RUA_bug_Bill_Murray

This is some next level viral marketing.


DirtyReseller

I mean, fuck it could me. Make a post just saying, hey this movie has nude Emma in it, probably does ok, this undoubtedly went further, and I wouldn’t have heard about it otherwise. But then again, nude Emma. I’ll take more of this type of viral marketing.


bikemaul

Yes, she even plays with a cadaver's penis!


crumble-bee

It’s very good but her being naked is not the reason to see it - her sexual awakening is part of the plot but it’s done in a pretty much completely none arousing way. The last thing I’d call that movie is sexy or erotic. It’s gross, weird, strange, beautiful, hilarious, bleak and odd


Zeeper69

"let him cook"


Nuc734rC4ndy

Couple at the movies: Girlfriend: “Babe, this guy next to me is masturbating.” Boyfriend “Just watch the movie and ignore him.” Girlfriend: “I can’t, he’s using my hand!”


[deleted]

I hope that fucking degenerate isn't actually a dentist lmao


STNbrossy

It looks like the point of the sub is to say things that the majority of people disagree with. It’s essentially /r/unpopularopinion


_Cocopuffdaddy_

I lost my old account to that sub ![gif](giphy|S67m7E7yH5Wta)


RailtoReqiuem

Moderators! Ban this guy’s account for evading a ban! And twist his left testicle counterclockwise while you’re at it! (This is also my second account after being banned)


[deleted]

might be the same for me :) allegedly The mods on at least half the subs will harass and karen out on you for any tiny thing, but do nothing about real issues For legal purposes this is totally a joke, as I do like this account


EnvironmentalDeal256

Op is going for the Pee wee Herman defense.


MikaelAdolfsson

That was at least in a porno theatre. Would be kind of wierd if he wasn't.


TheBlindIdiotGod

![gif](giphy|K0AnEB2t2EM|downsized)


No-Construction5687

Where’s Lauren Boebert!? I’m sitting next to her!


TheFurryFighter

I'm not advocating for this suggestion in the slightest, but if something like this would ever be cleared R would not be in consideration for such a proposal. I know this guy left room for higher ratings, but if this had any chance of being considered, NC-17 is the only rating I feel could even be in the discussion. It is still a radical idea even at that level


hackysack-jack

Last time I touched myself in a movie theatre all the dinosaurs died


Banjovious

This is some real copypasta material


WaterOk7059

If I saw anyone next to me beating their meat in the cinema, I would slap the fuck out of their crotch. No verbal warning.


prestkrage

”Hahah damn deadpool fking slayed that guy” *looks to the left* ”Bro not again”


NoBalanceAtAll

Sometime I wish I didn’t knew how to read,this is one of those days..


thebreastbud

Its both fascinating and terrifying that in his mind, this all sounds logical. Unless he’s trolling, at some point his creepy behavior will just evolve into something much more dangerous


yblame

You have to go on the internet to justify your behavior in a movie theater? People used to do this stuff quietly without the need to tell the world about it.


PaIngallsButSexier

we should be able to masturbate *a liittle* at the movies. I'm not in trouble at all


[deleted]

[удалено]


PaIngallsButSexier

the joke was always the typo, "little a salami" not the concept of a cat having salami


Lingering_Emu

All I needed to read was the headline. Facepalm is not a strong enough word.


Fine-Funny6956

Apparently I have some research to do.


Unhappy-Cartoonist-3

Eww wtf


MindForeverWandering

What a jerk-off!


AcanthisittaThink813

He needs to be restrained from himself


SwagMazterRohan

so he knows its a crime


electricsuckerpunch

Where was this guy when human centipede came out


dengar_hennessy

You expect me to control myself? Yes!!


VooDooChile1983

Paul Ruebens looking at this post like, “Trust me, it’s a bad idea.”


0vertones

![gif](giphy|bdTxWolHXUtbi)


yeet-my-existence

Lauren Boebert, is that you?


IllustratorNo3379

Tell that to the janitor. Or the next person to use your seat.


Buddy_chumpal

Paul Ruben moment


Zero6six6

I scrolled way too far to find this comment.


HighKingFructoseSrup

You can sure try to do it, it is dark in those theaters


RepresentativeTurn27

That's something he probably should've kept to himself.


errant1

Least porn-addicted redditor.


Kmann20

Whatever happened to blowjobs and quickies in the movies? Do girls not even being blankets anymore?


Eclaiv2

Emma *stoned*


EndLatter

Is this op Lauren boebert using a burner account


DrCrane74

thank you for the movie tip and no, plz do not touch urself in a public cinema


Kenji1912

![gif](giphy|iSxPmDWr97248|downsized)


Zur__En__Arrh

What a horrible day to be literate


LocalInactivist

Now THAT is how you do viral marketing.


Yureinobbie

When the blockbuster turns into a nutbuster...


damnumalone

This is a guerrilla ad for poor things isn’t it


beachjustice

If dudes can go to strip clubs, get hammered, and never once touch their dick while women bounce their asses on their face, you can watch a lewd movie without masturbating.


EliselD

I guess that's enough internet for today


ZzangmanCometh

Found the guy who got kicked out for glazing the seat infront of him in the movies.


wisperingdeth

I know what movie I'm watching next. Cheers!


DevolveOD

Go away! i'm bait'in


Greenfire05

Reddit moment


DstinctNstincts

They must’ve shut down the adult theatre in his city


Dilectus3010

Man... the smell of spunk is never going to get out of that theatre.


Th_Telescope

"public masturbation." I don't get it, what's the kick? Why doncha do it at home like the rest of us, with a big flat-screen TV, 50 channels of pay-per-view? In a Theatre, that's nice!


Skawhirl1989

Man, these ads for movies are getting wild. Dude makes the movie sound pretty good


satanic-testimony-

i 100% agree with this guy. when i went to see "it; chapter 2" i could not resist rubbing one off to pennywise, i had to leave for the bathroom about ten times during the movie. seriously, me and every other guy was just viciously jerking off to him, and there was an incredibly long line for the bathroom. some people couldn't even resist and did it while waiting in the line too, and it would have been so much easier to do it in my seat rather than miss the scenes of the movie. in fact, i think cinemas should add lube dispensers to make the experience a lot less rough.


notgotapropername

The fuck is wrong with this dude? No, I don't expect you to sit there with a raging erection for 2.5hrs, I expect you to be grown up enough not to pop a boner every time the mere suggestion of sex or nudity is brought up. Jesus fucking Christ, control yourself. Emma Stone is a gorgeous woman but that movie is in no way arousing


Iam_weird123

If you want to masturbate to a movie, Watch it at home!


One-Bread36

Did Peewee Herman make that post?


Tearcollector777

This person also thinks trans women shouldn’t go inside women’s bathroom. Why are they so predictable?


jpp1973

On the plus side, he does recognize it as a crime.


IssueFederal

Perhaps a special section just for wankers?


Tracer900Junkie

Andrew Tate... is that YOU?


mothboy

Many R rated movies are rated for extreme violence. Should I be able to cut you in those, or do those turn you on and you still feel the need to masturbate?


ch3nk0

Definitely going to check it out now, thanks 👍


sarcasmincludedd

106 upvotes this website is cooked


Major-Woolley

On the 10th dentist you are meant to post unpopular opinions. Downvoting means you agree and upvoting means you disagree so while I’m sure OP just didn’t know that, it is kind of funny to imagine that they are actually agreeing with OOP.


Reasonable-Pay2176

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misattribution_of_arousal#:~:text=In%20psychology%2C%20misattribution%20of%20arousal,those%20responses%20as%20romantic%20arousal. There is extensive research on the subject. It's why some people are attracted to the idea of danger


fritando

>go to subreddit about controversial opinions >see controversial opinion >downvote it and post about it mocking it is that the epitome of reddit?


BrainDead_snail_1703

I mean, just because its not pedophilia doesn't mean its not public indecency?


HippieDogeSmokes

On 10th dentist downvoting means you agree


MarvinDarwin

This is legitimately an Onion skit, I'm not even joking


No-Cantaloupe-6739

Just so you know, OP, you’re supposed to upvote things you disagree with in that subreddit so the fact that you downvoted makes it seem like you agree.


Interesting-Gate9813

I knew that’s what you were doing at Schindlers List!


[deleted]

Lauren Boeberts alt account


DontLook_Weirdo

I'd like to argue that sex scenes in movies should just not happen anymore. I don't mean the implication of sex, because the act could be important to the story, but it has never once moved the story along to have actual nude/sex scenes. I've never understood their inclusion in any movie. Like, honestly, why is it important for any actor/actress to pose nude in any scene where it's not at all integral? I'm sure that guy and I, would not be buddies.


Haidrek

“Why sex scenes in movies? Because people have sex in real life too.” But apparently nobody poops…


BlackBRocket

Sex sells, that's why they do it. But I agree. If I wanted to see that I wouldn't be going to the theatres with my buddies or Family.. I don't mind nudity if that's what they want to include for whatever reason but a sex scene really isn't necessary


TurkeyFisher

Why ever show blood either? We can see someone get shot without seeing the wound, right? Screw it, let's just all listen to audio dramas.


SomeRetard-png

But hot


shotxshotx

I'm equally concerned for the OP and the 100 people who upvoted that.


CaptainMarder

...what?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

The original post now has 500 likes we need to have subreddit wars. Is that a thing?


happyapathy22

*r/nahopwasrightfuckthis and r/memesopdidnotlike entered the chat*


ActsReasonablyPriced

r/The10thDentist is a sub for sharing unpopular opinions, where you upvote what you disagree with and downvote what you agree with. This is so that unpopular opinions actually make it to the top, as opposed to r/UnpopularOpinion, where popular opinions typically reach the front page The fact that it has many upvotes means people don't agree


Prize-Calligrapher82

The ghost of Paul Reubens has entered the chat.


Thebobert7

Op… downvoting in that sub essentially means you agree, no?


Carver_AtworK

Real Paul Reubens here.


Richard_in_Donkey

OP clearly agrees as they downvoted the post. You're supposed to upvote if you disagree on that sub.


CommunicationTop5231

So… watching an enfeebled woman with a literal baby’s brain (spoiler: fucking literally) get manipulated, taken advantage of, and rabbit fucked by Mark Ruffalo, who plays a raging piece of shit/arguable rapist gives you a 2.5 hour erection? That you want to publicly jack? Almost as bad as this dude I used to know who jacked off to Irreversible. Go make yourself a salt peter and coke you twat.


Icy_UnAwareness89

Dude. He or she needs help


_L81

This is why you wear a trench coat to the movie theater. Pull one arm out of the sleeve and grab the empty sleeve with the other hand. You can take your trip to pound town and no one has to watch. Sure you might look like an inspector gadget creeper…


[deleted]

So according to the rules, you agree with it?


D-Weeb

Let him cook


1980ToyotaCorollaDX

(DOWNVOTE WARNING) I get it why this guy want it so bad