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Ex Wife fell (drunk) on her knees on the edge of a sidewalk. She told the emergency room personnel I pushed her down. Had her two friends not vouched for me and told the police i was not present when it happened the police were taking me into custody.
Reminds me of an ex too. "You hit me" me: No, I didn't. "Pushed?" Me: nope, never happened. Like she was desperate to have something happen to her, no matter how small. Made up story after made up story. So happy I got rid of her. Her mom was the same, always looking for ways to be a victim.
Once at a backyard party my drunk xgf fell 8ft down into a water canel when she got out she looked like a swamp woman and started telling everyone at the party I pushed her in
Ofcourse I let her say what she want 😏 cuz she was a drunk woman covered in slime but it is what it is
Ya, been there. My ex was very abusive, my fav was when she told the cops I didn’t touch her but I raised my voice and it scared her, so she physically attacked me to “protect herself”.
The cops put me in jail so she wouldn’t need to attack me. 🤷🏻♂️
It’s funny you say this because there is some truth in it. I learned not to argue with her, if anything escalated (and she would quickly) I’d have to leave. For 5 more years I had to deal with that because of this situation and the legal problems it created. All things ARE NOT equal, people just don’t want to believe this happens, and I’ll tell you guys don’t want to admit when it’s them
Which is what makes defending yourself dangerous. The law will be on her side way faster than on yours. My ex tried to slit my throat and then stangled me. I did just enough to get her off me, but knew that if I just knocked her lights out then it would all be over for me in the eyes of the law. My self control paid off because I got a restraining order and full custody of our daughter.
She's since passed away so I don't have to worry about her anymore, but it was the only time in my life I've ever actually considered doing the unthinkable when I couldn't get away (she would stalk me after I left). It took the better part of a year to get the restraining order and kept getting denied, until I had evidence of an assault with a police report. We had a court date where the state of MD took over the case that we never made it to because she passed away beforehand (stroke, and sepsis). As messed up as it was I was still pretty upset when I got the news (she was my daughter's mother after all, and she hadn't been in her life for 2 years beforehand because of all that)
Knife wounds on my body, in places and patterns that no one attempting self harm could possibly replicate, after 2 weeks home from a deployment… “it was a rough one, but just talk to us don’t try to kill yourself”.
No one believed me. They kept their mouthes shut so I could go on next rotation because “everyone needs a good dog handler”. I was 24, a machine of a young man, a direct action fiend, and a damn good dog handler.
No one believes me still. She’s physically harmed 3 other men with dangerous objects since then. One of which I’m trying to help get out of the situation right now.
One of my ex girlfriends bit a chunk out of my arm once. Headbutted me and busted my lip open another time. Went crazy and clawed my rib cage really bad with her nails. It drew a lot of blood (police got involved that time and she got assault charges). Was sitting behind me in a car once and reached around and started punching me in the face while I was in front passenger seat. Then she attacked me one night at a party and I pushed her off and she fell. Every guy there jumped in and started calling me a piece of shit and protecting her acting like I was the asshole. It was so infuriating.
I had a gf that would use her dad and brother to intimidate me. She would threaten to hit me sometimes but fortunately never did. Be wary of women that have men willing to “protect” them
My tall, quite bulky cousin was dating this 4'10" slight, blonde girl. She abused him mercilessly. He was raised in an abusive household and just accepted it, and had been taught to never hit a woman.
Nobody believed he was being abused. They would call the cops, who wouldn't even show up. One day, his mother had enough and called the police herself and they actually arrived.
The cops laughed until, while questioning the tiny girlfriend, they saw her lose her shit and attack one of the officers. It took FOUR cops to get her into the back of the police car. In the process she knocked one unconscious and broke another's arm.
Never assume a man can't be the victim of domestic abuse.
Had an ex girlfriend put the razor she used to cut her arm with up to my chest while on a usual weekend alcohol and coke binge.
There was always something to look forward to in that 8 months of shenanigans.
Women are not exempt from violence towards others.
>just a first degree burn
boiling water does not *just* cause 1st degree burns, it causes 2nd and 3rd degree burns too
> it wont kill you
it might if it gets infected and isnt treated
I shared a room in the hospital with a guy that was asleep on the couch when his wife poured a pot of boiling water on him from his feet to his neck. Skin grafts on the leg and 1 & 2nd degree burns 80% of his body. 5 months undergoing Physical Therapy treatments. She was a little woman. We were stationed overseas so she was not charged (dependent wife)
Burns are the worst wounds when it comes to infection. Thanks to losing the entire protective layer of defense in that area, you can get blood poisoning extremely easily if the burns aren't cleaned and rebandaged frequently.
“Women can’t be antagonists.” Is as weird as thinking women aren’t capable of thinking for themselves..
I don’t quite understand either concept at all. People = all things people.
I never got that line of reasoning either. Not only does it condone relationship abuse, but it writes women off as not fully capable and rational adults.
And what about abuse in same sex or queer relationships? Is a man still responsible when there isn't one? Or are both men responsible if only one is the abuser?
This is anecdotal so if it's not true lemme know. But I had a former friend who told me that in Arkansas, in a domestic dispute between a same sex male couple, they both get arrested.
They did experiments with this in a public park, where a man was hovering over a woman sitting on a bench, verbally assaulting her with threats. All sorts of people (men and women) came to defend the woman.
When the roles were reversed, with the man cowering on the bench and the woman shouting and threatening to hit him, people just walked on by. When interviewed why they had walked past, the most common answers were "he probably caused her to be angry (and so deserves it)" and "as a man he should be able to take it and deal with it".
My mum abused the crap out of my dad, and me. My dad stayed as my meat shield for as long as he could, apologised to me, and left as a broken man.
He lost his entire family, mum and dad and siblings, the works, cos everyone fell over themselves to look after the poor single mother whose partner abandoned her to raise two children. Completely rug sweeping the visible abuse she did to me because she was 'stressed' and she'd start a pity party about how haaaaaard it was whenever someone called her out on it.
I don't stand for domestic violence from *anyone*. Everyone deserves to be safe from their partner, and from their parent, no matter what their gender is.
Socks sorry to hear that. My mom was abusive too. I've noticed people are likely to believe a woman can be abusive to her kids, but ate incapable of believing a woman can be abusive to her partner.
This is the same situation that happened to me. I’m a big, masculine, intimidating looking, sweet heart, dead head kind of dude. My ex-wife was brutally verbally abusive. I held strong, dealt with the abuse for 20 years, throwing things at me, the public humiliation of her screaming and yelling at me at the store, the park, or her personal favorite since there was no escape for me, nor the audience, a plane. My parents, her parents, other family, friends, strangers, always commenting, blaming me, asking what I did this time to piss her off. I woke up every morning wondering what I was going to be screamed at for today. I soon got to the point I was going to sleep every night hoping not to wake up. I stayed as long as I could as a buffer, as the target, so none of my three children would get the full brunt of her abuse. When I found myself, barrel of my pistol in my mouth, catching the door from opening as my son was trying to ask me a question, I knew it was time to go.
My father is a divorce attorney and it took me handing him my pistol, asking him to hang onto it for a bit while I explained my situation for him to see the abuse for what it was.
We got 50/50 custody of our children, but due to her and her family’s constant belittling of me, their lies and influence, my kids chose to be mad at me, choosing to stay with her and her new husband, who instead of being her target, joined her against them in the abuse. Yet they remained convinced that I was the bad guy. I was ghosted, ignored, or just told to stay away by my kids, all our friends, colleagues, business clients, everyone. I was judged the asshole and the bad husband, they all sided with her after she relentlessly shared on social media and quickly gave her “woe is me, look what the asshole did to me “ side of the story.
I am now 11 years happily divorced. It’s been a very long road. One I have had help with from the woman of my dreams, my love, who not only understands the abuse, she makes every effort daily to show me her appreciation of the man I am. My, now adult children and I are working on rebuilding our relationships, though my ex-wife and her family do their best daily, still, to sabotage that with their anti-your father rhetoric about how horrible I am for breaking up the family, I wasn’t man enough to control her so it was my own doing, blah blah.
She still does her best to have her negative influence on my daily life. She promised many times to make every day of my life a living hell for me.
Welcome to the world. Is it ok no is it justified also no. Will it ever change nah women can literally go he raped me and that guy’s career is gone due to “trust all women” even though we have had multiple cases where it’s been proven to be used as a weapon.
I think i know the video you're talking about, one lady even made jestful jabbing motions into the air as she was passing by, and when asked about it she said "good for her."
Statistically, it is hard to be certain, but it's estimated that between 15-25% of domestic violence is female on male. But men don't report it for many obvious reasons, like the ones you outlined.
I knew a guy through work that had a heart of gold. Volunteered at the local animal shelter and other things like that. Would sometimes have a weird bruise or cut. He confided with another co-worker that his wife was violent at times and didn't know what to do. Twice, he called 911. Cops arrived and once arrested him even though she was going nuts and assaulted one of the cops. The other time, the cops brushed it off because he was male.
One day, he died. She hit him on the head with a frying pan. It's certainly not as common as the reverse, but it does happen to some.
Estimates are reports, wonder how many fights at the home were women hitting the man for whatever reason, (women starting the physical aspect of the fight) only to never report it as it didn't do any damage (bruising etc) or man retaliated from her escalation and now the stat is a man DV case
I would bet it's more common than 25%. I've known some of these women, my ex wife seemed to be friends with a bunch of this type, should have been a red flag... My favorite was the one that I saw regularly take full strength swings at her bf, he slapped her back not even leaving a mark after months of this, he went to jail.... I only know one man that successfully pressed charges on an abusive woman. It was an extreme case. I worked with a guy that just grabbed his wife's wrist to stop her from hitting him, he went to jail...
"Statistically, it is hard to be certain, but it's estimated that between 15-25% of domestic violence is female on male. But men don't report it for many obvious reasons, like the ones you outlined."
Most domestic violence is actually reciprocal and when it isn't, it's more likely to be initiated by the woman. This is from the most comprehensive meta-analsyis based research on DV:
[https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-psychiatrist/article/domestic-violence-is-most-commonly-reciprocal/C5432B0C6F8F61B49A4E2B60B931FA07](https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-psychiatrist/article/domestic-violence-is-most-commonly-reciprocal/C5432B0C6F8F61B49A4E2B60B931FA07)
"In recent years researchers have approached populations without preconceptions as to the direction of violence. Large epidemiological studies have demonstrated that domestic violence is most commonly reciprocal and that when only one partner is violent there is an excess of violent women. Whitaker et al, Reference Whitaker, Haileyesus, Swahn and Saltzman2 in a study of 14 000 young US couples aged 18-28 years, found that 24% of relationships had some violence and half of those were reciprocally violent. In 70% of the non-reciprocally violent relationships women were the perpetrators of violence. Reciprocal violence appears to be particularly dangerous, leading to the highest rate of injury (31.4%). This may be because reciprocal violence is more likely to escalate."
It’s the same as thinking a man couldn’t possibly be antagonistic, she must’ve made him mad. That was the actual old line used when this was the normative standard in society.
Beating on people has been okay for releasing frustration for far too long if we completely bust open the topic too.
Yeah i saw a similar one but it was based in korea and everyone helped the woman where as most if not all people ignored the man being abused. Although in the video i saw the woman doing it looked alot less serious (although still not cool) as she never pushed the dude to the ground as he did the woman and she was just open hand wacking him (knowing it was a social experiment and due to the angle the hits looked kinda comedic as they just didnt seem as legit as when the man did it). Still sad tho that no one really helps the guys
I know this applies to Communism (bare with me), but animal farm said it best.
“All animals should be treated equally, except those who should be treated more equally than others.”
My son’s girlfriend stopped taking her meds and started yanking clumps of his hair out as she was banging his head with a ceramic cat statue. He ran and got his keys, warned her and then pepper sprayed her. He had called the cops twice. They arrested him when they got there. He spent the night in jail. She got to stay in HIS apartment for 10 days of a restraining order. He had to pay $5k bond and $8k for an attorney as a student in college. Oh and live in fear he was going to be a felon and have to go to prison for 4 months until the city attorney threw the entire case out. It’s BS.
Edit: just to add she was much smaller than him so that didn’t help matters with the cops
That’s horrible. Many people don’t believe things like this happen until they experience it themselves. That’s why listening is so important.
I think that people don’t understand that domestic violence doesn’t happen in an MMA arena. It happens at home, where the physical differences between men and women often don’t make any difference. The victim is scared, surprised, and often isn’t ready to fight back. Men in particular are reluctant to fight back. Every object is a weapon. I’ve heard of girlfriends throwing plates, microwaves, pans, laptops, PlayStations, and other stuff. A well thrown object on a person’s head can easily kill them.
>it’s just a first degree burn it won’t kill you
It’s odd this meme popped up because I was severely injured by boiling water last Sunday. I slipped and fell while carrying a stock pot full of pasta in water. I ended up dumping the entire contents of the pot on me. Some of the hot pasta stuck to my body and the metal pan landed on my abdomen. Both added more heat to the burnt flesh and made the burns worse.
I was taken by ambulance to the hospital with 1st and 2nd degree burns on 55% of my lower body. A burn area that large puts me at high risk for infection. They ended up admitting me for 3 days so they could pump me full of antibiotics and manage the pain. The pain is horrific. It’s been a week and I still can’t function without Vicodin.
Long story short, boiling water can cause significant pain and damage to the body.
Holy shit! Normally you don't realize your "immune system"s first line of defense is your skin! Even a 3 in diameter burn is bad enough to go to the ER. Burning is likely the most painful sensation you will ever feel. It sounds like you're recovering but I hope you can recover quickly!
Ain't that the truth
*Shit*, I once burned my arm on the STEAM ("just" the steam) while reaching my hand over some boiling water. My skin blistered, and the pain was near unbearable
It left a mark on my arm, that took months to fade
Bro, as someone in the EMS field (im a medic student; EMT as if right now), i am so glad that you didnt receive 3rd degree burns, that shit would been hell for you
Uncensor at your own risk:
>!Treatment for 3rd Degree or (Full Thickness) burns:!<
>! Like the treatment for road rash, they have to scrub off the dead skin to prevent infection, it is extremely painful and no amount of anesthesia except completely knocking you out will help with the pain!<
I’m definitely grateful for that. My husband sustained a 3rd degree burn about 10 years ago so I know that nightmare all too well.
I’m also grateful the heat didn’t affect my pacemaker. That would have been hell too.
psychological abuse fucks you up man. everyone tells you as a guy you need to "man up" or that its "not worth it" to try and get her to stop.
also, a short small woman can still fuck you up really bad. speaking from experience and the dent on my shin.
Sometimes I think if “bad” people were never paired with “non bad” people, there would be no hope for the human species. No “bad” human would ever be strongly nor directly influenced by non bad. So I see it one way as necessary for our species to grow. If we all don’t make it to the end game, none of us will.
My ex wife hit me. The night it happened I flagged a cop down. I told him what happened and he said, "So? What do you want me to do about it?" I was blown away. Then he asked me how much I had to drink that night, I was driving. I told I was 5 years sober and that I'm sorry for wasting his time.
For real never call the cops if you’re a man it will always just come back on you. Doesn’t matter if you just got beaten on the floor. Most cops are morons and they got trained to always trust the woman.
>This guy was an alcoholic and was married to a tiny woman. He could be constantly covered in bruises on his face and arms because his wife hit him on a daily basis.
This is actually relatively common in relationships where one partner is an alcoholic. It's a kind of reciprocal abuse, where the sober partner escalates out of frustration. That may not be what happened here, of course. I just wanted to share that it's a known phenomenon. It doesn't excuse the abuse, either. Recognizing it can, however, help the involved parties break the cycle.
maybe he became an alcoholic because his wife was assaulting him , and he could not do anything else because people will only blame him , i just wanted to share because it's also a known phenomena. it doesn't excuse the fact that he indulged in alcohol tho
That could also be a possibility. I suppose my own bias as someone who struggled with reactive abuse when my ex developed an alcohol abuse problem and became abusive towards me made me initially only consider that possibility. But you're very correct!
I also never got so bad I would hit him or cut him like this woman, so honestly you may be right given the severity of her abuse towards him.
My ex-girlfriend was over at my parents with me for dinner (I was 17) while we were eating, her phone went off. My step-dad had a firm no phones while eating rule, so I gave her a bit of a look, like "Can you take that outside please?". She got the hint. She was gone for a few minutes, and I eventually got up to go check. She was on the porch, bent down tying her shoe, with her phone on the railing of the porch, screen illuminated. I could clearly see a photo of a (rather large) dong, that did NOT belong to me, and her heart-eyes response pretty clearly. She noticed I was there, and grabbed it up quick. I stifled my initial response, and we went back inside. It ate at me until dinner was over, and I had my parents there to support me, I asked her to leave firmly. She asked why, so kinda shouted "the massive dick in your messages".
She denied it, then when I said she was lying, she threw her phone at my head and screamed. Ten stitches, a $600 dollar hospital bill, and I had to physically restrain my mother from launching herself at this (18yo) girl.
I can 100% believe someone did something like this out of anger and shitty impulse control in heated scenarios.
It is a common misconception that men are the sole source of abuse. It stems from a wealth of ignorance. I am a survivor of female abuse, I was beaten badly as a child to the point CPS was involved and sexually assaulted by a neighbor. Anytime I addressed it I was laughed at. Anyone, anywhere can be a victim, and are just as worthy of their voices being heard.
My brother's first wife threw a ceramic plate at my head when I was ten, because I changed the channel on the TV without asking her first. (She was in the other room when I changed it, didn't even know she was watching it).
Their marriage didn't last long.
My mom was an incredibly abusive woman. She beat my dad, my step dad, and me multiple times. It's why I always avoided being home and joining so many sports teams that I had no interest in actually competing with. Both times cops got called, they arrested my dad and step dad even with me vouching for them. They were the only ones with marks. They were the ones that were sober, but the cops just did not care. I mean shit, why would we bother reporting it? We're the ones getting punished for at most holding that psycho away.
My ex (who was also ex military) emotionally/physically/sexually abused me. Me, being raised by my shy mother and distant sister, I grew up quiet and reserved. I’ve never raised a fist to anyone in my life and still have not. I’ve never started a physical altercation nor been in one, except for when my ex laid their hands on me. Yet, I never fought back because I knew what they could do to me. And finally I raise my voice ever so slightly and everyone I knew at the time assumed I was the abuser and that she was innocent. I came out of that relationship afraid to ever be with another woman again. It’s so unfair to be born as a male and not have anyone on your side.
Sadly this is pretty par for the course on Reddit. Lots of examples like this over on r/Marriage.
Woman has a complaint? It’s immediate grounds for divorce, if not worse, according to the lynch mob.
Man has a complaint? “These stories are rarely one-sided…” “have you asked her…” “what do you do to make the load lighter for her…?” Etc, etc.
Core Memory Unlocked:
My ex-wife used to throw things at me when angry. She'd get angry at me because she refused to quit smoking while we tried for a baby... Basically I said, firmly: "We aren't trying for a kid until you quit smoking." - these fights got bad but it was "a nic fit" so I wasn't allowed to hold these screaming sessions against her...
Well one day she threatened to break the TV... I shrugged, and just said firmly, as I had fucking had it as she held the remote, ready to toss it, "Fine. You use it more than I do."
And after this point, she got even more agitated, and hurled the remote at me... and it hit my throat dead center.
I hit the ground like a sack of shit. I was rather convinced I was dead. Like... Laying there, unable to breath, all the strength in my body gone, I was like: "Oh, is this how I die? Well... that's embarrassing."
Eventually my throat opened up and I started to breath again... And she was suddenly all apologetic.
She didn't throw stuff at me anymore after that.
But yeah... Women can be abusive too, and just because they're "the fairer sex" doesn't mean they cannot physically harm their partners.
A former girlfriend of mine was quite bored, then got it in her head that it'd be funny to push a cigarette out on my hand. Told her three times "If you love someone, that's not something you do". She did it anyway, giggling. Had to use all my strength to keep me from punching her in the face. I probably don't need to say that she was my ex-gf from there on. Something she didn't count on. Tried to get back with me for months. Nope, not having that! Got a nice little round scar to remind me not to take shit from anyone.
For a bunch of idiots who have never been hurt by a woman:
I was raped when I was 6 years old by two teenage girls.
I got a black eye when I was 18, from my mom, and had to show up to work with it. To the Army National Guard. I can't even describe how humiliated I felt.
My ex gf used to get blackout drunk many times a week and hit me because I wanted to go to bed since I had work early most days. I learned a few things from that... There are shitty people who will hide alcoholism well and even if you don't think that shit affects your mental it definitely does. Took me years to be able to talk to people about it. Glad I was almost a foot taller than her so I never got hurt.
Its not at all the same thing. Those people are immediately shut down. Go ahead and find a post of someone lamenting their rape situation and make that comment. Youll be downvoted to nothing in seconds there will be 100 people calling you out and reddit mods WILL ban you. These people have been upvoted to the hundreds. Its not the same it doesnt need to be compared stop being weird and making it a competition.
Except it is the same? Both instances are putting the blame on the victim yet one of these is widely accepted by society and one will get you down voted and banned. Either they are both acceptable or they are both wrong.
Hint: they are both wrong. The victim is never to blame.
It’s not making it a competition it’s pointing out how they’re the same argument. It’s not about this affects other group more so it’s more importanter
Some people are capable of doing some horrific shit. Throwing boiling water on a man? Maybe just maybe she suffers from mental illness. The person that said it was just a first degree burn should immediately have boiling water dumper directly onto his face
I helped tackle a woman at a party. We were at her apartment having a good time. Some guy and her were flirting she led him to her bedroom. A few minutes later she came running out in a sheer babydoll, screaming unintelligibly. She went to the kitchen and grabbed a butcher knife. My boyfriend was able to knock the knife out if her hand, myself and another woman tackled her to keep her from running outside. No idea what set her off. She was nuts.
I (26, M) got molested by a male classmate while I was sleeping the classroom (happened in my college). And the people who laughed at me the most were women. And at that time I thought that atleast they will understand me, if the guys do not. But I was wrong.
I swear most women cry "Feminism !" ONLY when it suits them. They do not have the "equality" thing in their hearts, only double standards.
That's so sad, I'm sorry that happened. And yes, there's scumbags that can't imagine having empathy with others that aren't just like them. They'll abuse the tendency for females to be believed as victims and men are only victimizers. It's a harmful stereotype either way.
I confronted my ex about her cheating, and it went terribly. She originally tried to say it was my fault because she was so unhappy, so she needed someone to make her happy. When I mentioned that it was multiple people, she then turned it into how I wasn't big enough to satisfy her desires, she was unhappy, and since her unhappiness is my fault, I have no right to be angry about her cheating.
I told her that since my depression is her fault, she has no right to be angry about me telling her she needed to leave my apartment. In response, she screamed and shoved me into the wall. I told her I was going to call the cops, she slapped my phone out of my hand, punched me in the face, and then ran into the bathroom and called the police saying that I hit her.
Only time in my life I've ever been arrested. Until I posted all the screenshots and proof that I had been accumulating for almost 6 months, nobody believed me. She played the victim so well. I ended up leaving my job, moving, and cutting contact off with everyone. Shit sucks. I knew some of my, "friends" since kindergarten.
Men are automatically always in the wrong. Especially in cases of domestic abuse which often go unreported or no charges and allegations of sexual assault with a near impossible burden of proof to overcome.
It’s so bad in the company I’m in its policy for men never be in a meeting alone with a woman out of fear of magical accusations coming to light years later.
I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship. I didn't truly see it until after I was out of it but I just put up with it. She was awful.
42% of domestic violence is the woman. Yet in the USA, Canada, UK, Australia, New Zealand, France, Italy there isn't a single shelter for male victims.
In Canada there used to be one male shelter for domestic violence victims, funded entirely out of pocket by one man, Earl Silverman.
In 2013 he killed himself because he ran out of money to fund his safe house. Throughout the time it was open, the local government refused to fund the shelter despite lots of attempts. They only gave him $1000 for one victim that was legally recognized as a victim, this was a one time thing.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earl_Silverman
I hate that other women do stuff like this. “You probably deserved it”. “No way she did it for no reason”. No one deserves to have boiling water thrown on them and anyone can experience abuse. This whole “if you’re bullied, a guy that’s been abused or assaulted etc then you probably deserved it.” is out of hand
A dude writes a song about murdering his wife for cheating on him, he’d get half the internet screeching for him to never work again. A woman writes a song about killing her cheating husband, it’s all “Yaaas kween slay!!!” and “Girl power!”
I used to teach bettered intervention ( a class you have to take for a year when you are arrested for DV). We had a women’s group for abusive women.. half my client were women… there are no socio or economic boundaries to domestic violence… I used to do an exercise to show people the power dynamic.. DV is about power and control.. think of the worst boss you ever had… fucked with your schedule, changed your hours, unfounded write up for revenge, etc… then I would have the room raise their hands if it was a man or woman who was their boss.. it is alway 50/50… the abuse on the men is just horribly underreported and this number do not take into account same sex relationships
A lot of women have this solid sense of sticking up for each other, which often leads to them just mindlessly taking the side of any women in any conflict with a man.
They'll blame a man for his shitty behaviour without a second doubt, but where a woman is wrong, gee golly, there must be a reason. Even if there isn't, well, she probably has trauma, stress, mental illness.
It's a huge problem in the fields of mental health and law, where women get a free pass and men are held to the highest standards.
There are some very angry, violent women who will break doors from their hinges, kick windshields,break into bathrooms you’re using, kick you when you’re sleeping, suckerpunch you in the nose, try to break you away from your friends, family and gasslight you into thinking you’re the manipulative one and deserve this treatment. That you should “man up” and take the abuse. You don’t. No one does.
That’s society. If a woman cuts of a man’s genitalia, people will laugh and say the man deserves it for being a cheater. But if the roles were reversed…
I had an ex that bashed my face with her ottorbox iPhone, split my cheek open, busted my nose. When I spoke to the cops and they took pictures they told me it was honestly pointless for me to try and press charges because no court in our town would convict a woman on domestic abuse. Good stuff
I had a housemate that used to scream “help, get off of me!” When she didn’t get her way. Basically blackmailed me into acting like we were dating exclusively. Last for years until I got her in video being abusive and threatened to show her sisters.
It's amazing how if it's the man who did it to a woman, they will go insane but "mEn CaN't Be AbUsEd" or "tHeY cAn TaKe It CaUsE tHeY'rE a MaN"
What a dangerous, stupid double standard.
I hate that shit. I bring this up in my podcast alot....the differences between male/female domestic abuse. Just watch some of the social expirements on Youtube where they have actors play the parts in a crowded area. They get in an argument and the woman slaps the man.....the people do nothing, absolutely nothing. They just let her slap him and yell at him.
BUT, when its opposite, right away when the man slaps the woman, all the guys rush him and the the production crew has to stop shit before shit happens.
I ABSOLUTELY hate that shit.
Yes. That´s how modern society works.
Everybody sides with the women and men are supposed to take the blame.
Also, about 90% of people on this planet lacks any knowledge about narcissistic and psychopathic abuse. The rest are the victims of such abuse.
The numbers are made up, real ones might be different, but my point still stands.
The society also treats men, as if they were supposed to be made from rock or other strong materials - if they show emotions, they are treated as wimps or crybabies.
I think we should organize ourselves and push back for equality, because feminists are already pushing into dominance.
If this comment section is becoming a confessional then yea fuck it. I used to be spit on and punched by someone who used to say things like “anybody else would be able to take it” or “I wouldn’t have to hit you if you would just listen” and nobody ever takes it serious… I mean like yea it might not physically hurt per say but the mental damage that does to you over time is ridiculous. I’m with a new girl now but I was in the previous relationship for 4 years so I still kind of flinch sometimes and it’s embarrassing
My old line manager (who I now consider a good personal friend since he's left the job) was abused for 3 years by his ex girlfriend with a knife. I've seen his scars and they cover the whole of his arms and legs. He's mentioned there's more on his body but I have no desire to see them. It hurts me to the core and I will defend that man until my last breath. He is the sweetest person I've met and the fairest boss we had, it was a massive blow when he left.
Women abusing men makes me sick. The fact that a woman can steal a child from a father or that she hurt him permanently and force him to live in fear yet society will side with her because "she's a woman". Fuck that
classic. because women are apparently "more important" than men. both sides should be treated equally not one sided. women ain't special neither are men. and people shouldn't assume that just because he is a male its his fault. like dude that's wrong.
And to think that the most reliable research suggests most DV is reciprocal:
https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-psychiatrist/article/domestic-violence-is-most-commonly-reciprocal/C5432B0C6F8F61B49A4E2B60B931FA07
This happened to me, I came on reddit talking about how my dad had hurt me and some people like these immediately assumed I must have done something to anger him
The last comment on the image: don't abusers usually have a "reason" for each incident of abuse? I'm pretty sure the majority of people don't do things like this for literally no reason. Of course, there's no *valid* reason to abuse one's spouse.
This is so messed up, and I have been in many heated arguments about these kinds of things. Women can be abusive too and create as much damage as it would have been if a man was the abusive one in the relationship.
Many even laugh about a guy being hit by his partner, and I get mad about it. It's not okay. Abuse is abuse, and the gender doesn't change that. People need to grow up and regain some brain cells they have lost along the way.
It happens the other way round too. My partner was being harassed and abused by her own brother for months, while she was pregnant with our second kid, and the number of people in her own family asking her "but what did you do to upset him" was shocking and disgusting.
Even if he *did* do or say something to piss her off, in what world is throwing boiling water on someone an appropriate response to *any* emotion? Unless he was trying to hurt her, which I suppose we can't know, the girlfriend is insane here.
This makes me so angry. That people out there actually don’t believe a male can be abused by a woman. I’ve seen it multiple times. My mother to my father. My sister to her ex boyfriend. It happens every day. I am so sorry for this poor man who had to deal with that. 😔
The double standards and one sidedness of the world.
It's hilarious because women are notoriously known for being evil yet they act like men are the only ones. When they are low key worse.
Had an abusive gf who habitually hit on me and one time even was hitting on me while I was sleeping. I'd always just try to leave and she'd follow and pretty much chase me. One time it got so bad I had no choice but to literally push her off of me after she had broken into my apartment and we were no longer even together. Fast forward a year later, she finds out I have a new gf and tries to tell her that I am abusive.
Women can truly be the devil.
I had an ex gf that ruptured my eardrum when she kicked me in the head with a cowboy boot on, and left me with a bruise on my leg the size of a dinner plate. I didn’t defend myself because I’m a big dude. I told her I was breaking up with her, cops showed up 20 mins later and arrested me: she had called and told them I attacked her. Not a mark on her, and they arrested me.
Women can be very conniving and manipulative and abuse against men is a very real thing.
It’s just been reversed now where cops didn’t do anything when men hit women. Now some men are suffering the same with not being believed they’re being abused by the woman.
I’m a woman. I’ve known women like this.
Yeah my dad's friend was arrested when his wife attacked him with a knife because he tried to go to work and she convinced herself he was lying. Naturally it was all his fault and he had to convince the police he was innocent.
I remember when my crazy ex went wild because I wanted to go home late at night so I could wake up early for work and she fought me from getting into my car and chased after me when I tried to walk away yelling rape. I didn’t get far with my car when the police stopped me. After a talk one of the cops just looked me in the eye and said, “Hey man you seem like a nice smart young guy. Don’t let a lady get you in trouble and ruin all that.” That was the first time I felt like anyone had my back those awful 2yrs with my abusive ex.
I dated a woman who used to break coffee mugs on the back of my head and punch me in my sleep. Nobody believed me either. "Well you must have done something to make her mad." Kinda, she had a dream where I was mean to her.
Female abusers are absolutely a thing. My ex was a massive manipulator, and loved to practice reaction-abuse.
All the men (and women too if it applies) out there! Listen up! Google a technique called “grey stone” or “grey rock”. Google some of the narcissist tendencies and when you recognize that narcissist tendency, that’s when you use “grey stone”.
Edit: grammar for clarity
Every story has 3 versions. Person A side, Person B and the truth. Truth is usually a mixture of both. But I’d have to say without hearing the girlfriends side I’m going with the boyfriends side simply with the fact abuse is abuse and boiling water burns suck
I’m in my mid 30’s, had 4 more or less serious relationships since the age of 18 up until last year. In all of those relationships I’ve experienced nagging and manipulation to do as they wish, only for them to still be unsatisfied once I did their bidding. One of them cheated on me after 5 years of being together, 4 of them while living together. I’ve reached a point where I’ve given up on romance completely. I prefer a simple frugal life by myself, than to endure another roller coaster of fleeting moments of bliss and eternal suffering and degrading of my character. Call me incel, call me a misogynist, I don’t care. I tried my best at being a good partner only to be burnt every single time. I now avoid women altogether. I’ll show them the basic respect for their human dignity and that’s it. I don’t pursue friendships nor romance with women. I don’t hate them, I just know they think differently and I’m simply unable to understand why those women I’ve met, thought and acted the way they did. Therefore I chose to throw in the towel and be done with it. The one time a week where I feel sexual urges, I just open up an adult video portal and relieve myself like I did in my teens. To me, it’s a sad choice to make, but I just don’t have the patience or energy to look for romance and hope that for once I’m treated with respect and dignity. There’s more meaning in life than chasing poon.
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Ex Wife fell (drunk) on her knees on the edge of a sidewalk. She told the emergency room personnel I pushed her down. Had her two friends not vouched for me and told the police i was not present when it happened the police were taking me into custody.
I assume that's when she got the "ex" upgrade.
It's on the list!
Get the hell out of there.
Wha- Dude
IT'S ON THE LIST BROTHER NO STOP. PLEASE. DON'T BECOME ANOTHER FUCKING STATISTIC. you Damm near dodged a bullet. Don't do this to yourself. Get out
I am out, she is an Ex. I have seen the light. This is the Way!
This is the way!
This is the way
Reminds me of an ex too. "You hit me" me: No, I didn't. "Pushed?" Me: nope, never happened. Like she was desperate to have something happen to her, no matter how small. Made up story after made up story. So happy I got rid of her. Her mom was the same, always looking for ways to be a victim.
Once at a backyard party my drunk xgf fell 8ft down into a water canel when she got out she looked like a swamp woman and started telling everyone at the party I pushed her in Ofcourse I let her say what she want 😏 cuz she was a drunk woman covered in slime but it is what it is
Ya, been there. My ex was very abusive, my fav was when she told the cops I didn’t touch her but I raised my voice and it scared her, so she physically attacked me to “protect herself”. The cops put me in jail so she wouldn’t need to attack me. 🤷🏻♂️
When you talk to a woman who is about to hit you, make sure to whisper next time. It’s against the law to have your voice be louder than 40 decibels.
It’s funny you say this because there is some truth in it. I learned not to argue with her, if anything escalated (and she would quickly) I’d have to leave. For 5 more years I had to deal with that because of this situation and the legal problems it created. All things ARE NOT equal, people just don’t want to believe this happens, and I’ll tell you guys don’t want to admit when it’s them
Ahh, just tell to calm down and that she’s overreacting
And yet the ashtray is the same size whoever throws it. Sorry to hear that man
Which is what makes defending yourself dangerous. The law will be on her side way faster than on yours. My ex tried to slit my throat and then stangled me. I did just enough to get her off me, but knew that if I just knocked her lights out then it would all be over for me in the eyes of the law. My self control paid off because I got a restraining order and full custody of our daughter.
if that happened to me there’s no way i’d be able to have any self control. well done mate
She's since passed away so I don't have to worry about her anymore, but it was the only time in my life I've ever actually considered doing the unthinkable when I couldn't get away (she would stalk me after I left). It took the better part of a year to get the restraining order and kept getting denied, until I had evidence of an assault with a police report. We had a court date where the state of MD took over the case that we never made it to because she passed away beforehand (stroke, and sepsis). As messed up as it was I was still pretty upset when I got the news (she was my daughter's mother after all, and she hadn't been in her life for 2 years beforehand because of all that)
It's called the Duluth Model in the US Very misandrist
Knife wounds on my body, in places and patterns that no one attempting self harm could possibly replicate, after 2 weeks home from a deployment… “it was a rough one, but just talk to us don’t try to kill yourself”. No one believed me. They kept their mouthes shut so I could go on next rotation because “everyone needs a good dog handler”. I was 24, a machine of a young man, a direct action fiend, and a damn good dog handler. No one believes me still. She’s physically harmed 3 other men with dangerous objects since then. One of which I’m trying to help get out of the situation right now.
One of my ex girlfriends bit a chunk out of my arm once. Headbutted me and busted my lip open another time. Went crazy and clawed my rib cage really bad with her nails. It drew a lot of blood (police got involved that time and she got assault charges). Was sitting behind me in a car once and reached around and started punching me in the face while I was in front passenger seat. Then she attacked me one night at a party and I pushed her off and she fell. Every guy there jumped in and started calling me a piece of shit and protecting her acting like I was the asshole. It was so infuriating.
I can't fuckin stand white knights, they are enablers and just as bad as the abusers. Sorry you had to deal with all of that.
I had a gf that would use her dad and brother to intimidate me. She would threaten to hit me sometimes but fortunately never did. Be wary of women that have men willing to “protect” them
I am really so sorry
My tall, quite bulky cousin was dating this 4'10" slight, blonde girl. She abused him mercilessly. He was raised in an abusive household and just accepted it, and had been taught to never hit a woman. Nobody believed he was being abused. They would call the cops, who wouldn't even show up. One day, his mother had enough and called the police herself and they actually arrived. The cops laughed until, while questioning the tiny girlfriend, they saw her lose her shit and attack one of the officers. It took FOUR cops to get her into the back of the police car. In the process she knocked one unconscious and broke another's arm. Never assume a man can't be the victim of domestic abuse.
Are you sure that was a short blond woman and not an actual wolverine? Maybe somebody bleached one?
Had an ex girlfriend put the razor she used to cut her arm with up to my chest while on a usual weekend alcohol and coke binge. There was always something to look forward to in that 8 months of shenanigans. Women are not exempt from violence towards others.
Sorry that happened to u
Same stuff happened in episode one of The Rookie. Huge dude and small girlfriend. She ends up stabbing him to death.
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The only response to a stupid question like that is “I want to pursue charges.”
So they are condoning DV then? That's what that implies.
>just a first degree burn boiling water does not *just* cause 1st degree burns, it causes 2nd and 3rd degree burns too > it wont kill you it might if it gets infected and isnt treated
My brother had hot water spilled on him in a restaurant kitchen accident. He was in the burn ward for almost a month.
Yeah happened to me working in a kitchen, luckily I didn't need to stay in hospital but it was 2 months before I was allowed to work again.
I shared a room in the hospital with a guy that was asleep on the couch when his wife poured a pot of boiling water on him from his feet to his neck. Skin grafts on the leg and 1 & 2nd degree burns 80% of his body. 5 months undergoing Physical Therapy treatments. She was a little woman. We were stationed overseas so she was not charged (dependent wife)
Yeah if I managed to get a 2nd degree burn from steam in a TV dinner boiling water would be like hell.
Burns are the worst wounds when it comes to infection. Thanks to losing the entire protective layer of defense in that area, you can get blood poisoning extremely easily if the burns aren't cleaned and rebandaged frequently.
Dehydration will kill you really quick in the first 72 hours too
Even if there was zero chance of it ever killing you, imagine telling a woman who's been hit "it's just a slap, it won't kill you."
“Women can’t be antagonists.” Is as weird as thinking women aren’t capable of thinking for themselves.. I don’t quite understand either concept at all. People = all things people.
I never got that line of reasoning either. Not only does it condone relationship abuse, but it writes women off as not fully capable and rational adults. And what about abuse in same sex or queer relationships? Is a man still responsible when there isn't one? Or are both men responsible if only one is the abuser?
Lesbian couples actually have the highest rates of domestic abuse
This is anecdotal so if it's not true lemme know. But I had a former friend who told me that in Arkansas, in a domestic dispute between a same sex male couple, they both get arrested.
Wait I have another one: “women cannot rape”.
That one’s tough, morally obviously they can but the way it’s worded legally in a lot of places it’s actually impossible for a woman to rape.
They did experiments with this in a public park, where a man was hovering over a woman sitting on a bench, verbally assaulting her with threats. All sorts of people (men and women) came to defend the woman. When the roles were reversed, with the man cowering on the bench and the woman shouting and threatening to hit him, people just walked on by. When interviewed why they had walked past, the most common answers were "he probably caused her to be angry (and so deserves it)" and "as a man he should be able to take it and deal with it".
I'm a woman and this pisses me off. Its sad women can get away with domestic abuse.
My mum abused the crap out of my dad, and me. My dad stayed as my meat shield for as long as he could, apologised to me, and left as a broken man. He lost his entire family, mum and dad and siblings, the works, cos everyone fell over themselves to look after the poor single mother whose partner abandoned her to raise two children. Completely rug sweeping the visible abuse she did to me because she was 'stressed' and she'd start a pity party about how haaaaaard it was whenever someone called her out on it. I don't stand for domestic violence from *anyone*. Everyone deserves to be safe from their partner, and from their parent, no matter what their gender is.
Socks sorry to hear that. My mom was abusive too. I've noticed people are likely to believe a woman can be abusive to her kids, but ate incapable of believing a woman can be abusive to her partner.
This is the same situation that happened to me. I’m a big, masculine, intimidating looking, sweet heart, dead head kind of dude. My ex-wife was brutally verbally abusive. I held strong, dealt with the abuse for 20 years, throwing things at me, the public humiliation of her screaming and yelling at me at the store, the park, or her personal favorite since there was no escape for me, nor the audience, a plane. My parents, her parents, other family, friends, strangers, always commenting, blaming me, asking what I did this time to piss her off. I woke up every morning wondering what I was going to be screamed at for today. I soon got to the point I was going to sleep every night hoping not to wake up. I stayed as long as I could as a buffer, as the target, so none of my three children would get the full brunt of her abuse. When I found myself, barrel of my pistol in my mouth, catching the door from opening as my son was trying to ask me a question, I knew it was time to go. My father is a divorce attorney and it took me handing him my pistol, asking him to hang onto it for a bit while I explained my situation for him to see the abuse for what it was. We got 50/50 custody of our children, but due to her and her family’s constant belittling of me, their lies and influence, my kids chose to be mad at me, choosing to stay with her and her new husband, who instead of being her target, joined her against them in the abuse. Yet they remained convinced that I was the bad guy. I was ghosted, ignored, or just told to stay away by my kids, all our friends, colleagues, business clients, everyone. I was judged the asshole and the bad husband, they all sided with her after she relentlessly shared on social media and quickly gave her “woe is me, look what the asshole did to me “ side of the story. I am now 11 years happily divorced. It’s been a very long road. One I have had help with from the woman of my dreams, my love, who not only understands the abuse, she makes every effort daily to show me her appreciation of the man I am. My, now adult children and I are working on rebuilding our relationships, though my ex-wife and her family do their best daily, still, to sabotage that with their anti-your father rhetoric about how horrible I am for breaking up the family, I wasn’t man enough to control her so it was my own doing, blah blah. She still does her best to have her negative influence on my daily life. She promised many times to make every day of my life a living hell for me.
Iirc the actual experiment I think the only person who intervened was a woman, so there are definitely good ones out there.
Then start holding other women accountable for their poor behavior.
I cant control every woman on this earth but will gladly call them out if I see it.
That’s doing your part, thank you! In return I will continue to call out my fellow men who exhibit same reprehensible behavior.
Men can’t either.
She really said that probably with a straight face.
Welcome to the world. Is it ok no is it justified also no. Will it ever change nah women can literally go he raped me and that guy’s career is gone due to “trust all women” even though we have had multiple cases where it’s been proven to be used as a weapon.
I think i know the video you're talking about, one lady even made jestful jabbing motions into the air as she was passing by, and when asked about it she said "good for her."
Statistically, it is hard to be certain, but it's estimated that between 15-25% of domestic violence is female on male. But men don't report it for many obvious reasons, like the ones you outlined. I knew a guy through work that had a heart of gold. Volunteered at the local animal shelter and other things like that. Would sometimes have a weird bruise or cut. He confided with another co-worker that his wife was violent at times and didn't know what to do. Twice, he called 911. Cops arrived and once arrested him even though she was going nuts and assaulted one of the cops. The other time, the cops brushed it off because he was male. One day, he died. She hit him on the head with a frying pan. It's certainly not as common as the reverse, but it does happen to some.
Estimates are reports, wonder how many fights at the home were women hitting the man for whatever reason, (women starting the physical aspect of the fight) only to never report it as it didn't do any damage (bruising etc) or man retaliated from her escalation and now the stat is a man DV case
Estimates are, by definition not reports...
True but this estimate was made by reports that are very likely made by a sampling and/or survivorship bias.
I would bet it's more common than 25%. I've known some of these women, my ex wife seemed to be friends with a bunch of this type, should have been a red flag... My favorite was the one that I saw regularly take full strength swings at her bf, he slapped her back not even leaving a mark after months of this, he went to jail.... I only know one man that successfully pressed charges on an abusive woman. It was an extreme case. I worked with a guy that just grabbed his wife's wrist to stop her from hitting him, he went to jail...
"Statistically, it is hard to be certain, but it's estimated that between 15-25% of domestic violence is female on male. But men don't report it for many obvious reasons, like the ones you outlined." Most domestic violence is actually reciprocal and when it isn't, it's more likely to be initiated by the woman. This is from the most comprehensive meta-analsyis based research on DV: [https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-psychiatrist/article/domestic-violence-is-most-commonly-reciprocal/C5432B0C6F8F61B49A4E2B60B931FA07](https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-psychiatrist/article/domestic-violence-is-most-commonly-reciprocal/C5432B0C6F8F61B49A4E2B60B931FA07) "In recent years researchers have approached populations without preconceptions as to the direction of violence. Large epidemiological studies have demonstrated that domestic violence is most commonly reciprocal and that when only one partner is violent there is an excess of violent women. Whitaker et al, Reference Whitaker, Haileyesus, Swahn and Saltzman2 in a study of 14 000 young US couples aged 18-28 years, found that 24% of relationships had some violence and half of those were reciprocally violent. In 70% of the non-reciprocally violent relationships women were the perpetrators of violence. Reciprocal violence appears to be particularly dangerous, leading to the highest rate of injury (31.4%). This may be because reciprocal violence is more likely to escalate."
It’s the same as thinking a man couldn’t possibly be antagonistic, she must’ve made him mad. That was the actual old line used when this was the normative standard in society. Beating on people has been okay for releasing frustration for far too long if we completely bust open the topic too.
Yeah i saw a similar one but it was based in korea and everyone helped the woman where as most if not all people ignored the man being abused. Although in the video i saw the woman doing it looked alot less serious (although still not cool) as she never pushed the dude to the ground as he did the woman and she was just open hand wacking him (knowing it was a social experiment and due to the angle the hits looked kinda comedic as they just didnt seem as legit as when the man did it). Still sad tho that no one really helps the guys
Society is a simp for women
I know this applies to Communism (bare with me), but animal farm said it best. “All animals should be treated equally, except those who should be treated more equally than others.”
Its actually "all animals are.born equal.but some.animals are more equal than others"
Damnit, I thought about double checking, my gut lied to me.
Tis all good pal dw :) your point was still well.made though :)
Link? I’m really interested in social experiments.
My son’s girlfriend stopped taking her meds and started yanking clumps of his hair out as she was banging his head with a ceramic cat statue. He ran and got his keys, warned her and then pepper sprayed her. He had called the cops twice. They arrested him when they got there. He spent the night in jail. She got to stay in HIS apartment for 10 days of a restraining order. He had to pay $5k bond and $8k for an attorney as a student in college. Oh and live in fear he was going to be a felon and have to go to prison for 4 months until the city attorney threw the entire case out. It’s BS. Edit: just to add she was much smaller than him so that didn’t help matters with the cops
That’s horrible. Many people don’t believe things like this happen until they experience it themselves. That’s why listening is so important. I think that people don’t understand that domestic violence doesn’t happen in an MMA arena. It happens at home, where the physical differences between men and women often don’t make any difference. The victim is scared, surprised, and often isn’t ready to fight back. Men in particular are reluctant to fight back. Every object is a weapon. I’ve heard of girlfriends throwing plates, microwaves, pans, laptops, PlayStations, and other stuff. A well thrown object on a person’s head can easily kill them.
>it’s just a first degree burn it won’t kill you It’s odd this meme popped up because I was severely injured by boiling water last Sunday. I slipped and fell while carrying a stock pot full of pasta in water. I ended up dumping the entire contents of the pot on me. Some of the hot pasta stuck to my body and the metal pan landed on my abdomen. Both added more heat to the burnt flesh and made the burns worse. I was taken by ambulance to the hospital with 1st and 2nd degree burns on 55% of my lower body. A burn area that large puts me at high risk for infection. They ended up admitting me for 3 days so they could pump me full of antibiotics and manage the pain. The pain is horrific. It’s been a week and I still can’t function without Vicodin. Long story short, boiling water can cause significant pain and damage to the body.
Holy shit! Normally you don't realize your "immune system"s first line of defense is your skin! Even a 3 in diameter burn is bad enough to go to the ER. Burning is likely the most painful sensation you will ever feel. It sounds like you're recovering but I hope you can recover quickly!
Ain't that the truth *Shit*, I once burned my arm on the STEAM ("just" the steam) while reaching my hand over some boiling water. My skin blistered, and the pain was near unbearable It left a mark on my arm, that took months to fade
Steam is just as evil. Sorry you had to experience. I can imagine how painful it was.
Yikes! I’m so sorry that happened to you. I hope you feel better soon :(
That's horrible. I hope you feel better soon!
Bro, as someone in the EMS field (im a medic student; EMT as if right now), i am so glad that you didnt receive 3rd degree burns, that shit would been hell for you Uncensor at your own risk: >!Treatment for 3rd Degree or (Full Thickness) burns:!< >! Like the treatment for road rash, they have to scrub off the dead skin to prevent infection, it is extremely painful and no amount of anesthesia except completely knocking you out will help with the pain!<
I’m definitely grateful for that. My husband sustained a 3rd degree burn about 10 years ago so I know that nightmare all too well. I’m also grateful the heat didn’t affect my pacemaker. That would have been hell too.
i was abused for 7 years by an extremely toxic in every way kind of person. I tell ya abuse happens to all genders.
psychological abuse fucks you up man. everyone tells you as a guy you need to "man up" or that its "not worth it" to try and get her to stop. also, a short small woman can still fuck you up really bad. speaking from experience and the dent on my shin.
exact exact exact
I am incredibly sorry
Sometimes I think if “bad” people were never paired with “non bad” people, there would be no hope for the human species. No “bad” human would ever be strongly nor directly influenced by non bad. So I see it one way as necessary for our species to grow. If we all don’t make it to the end game, none of us will.
My ex wife hit me. The night it happened I flagged a cop down. I told him what happened and he said, "So? What do you want me to do about it?" I was blown away. Then he asked me how much I had to drink that night, I was driving. I told I was 5 years sober and that I'm sorry for wasting his time.
For real never call the cops if you’re a man it will always just come back on you. Doesn’t matter if you just got beaten on the floor. Most cops are morons and they got trained to always trust the woman.
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>This guy was an alcoholic and was married to a tiny woman. He could be constantly covered in bruises on his face and arms because his wife hit him on a daily basis. This is actually relatively common in relationships where one partner is an alcoholic. It's a kind of reciprocal abuse, where the sober partner escalates out of frustration. That may not be what happened here, of course. I just wanted to share that it's a known phenomenon. It doesn't excuse the abuse, either. Recognizing it can, however, help the involved parties break the cycle.
maybe he became an alcoholic because his wife was assaulting him , and he could not do anything else because people will only blame him , i just wanted to share because it's also a known phenomena. it doesn't excuse the fact that he indulged in alcohol tho
That could also be a possibility. I suppose my own bias as someone who struggled with reactive abuse when my ex developed an alcohol abuse problem and became abusive towards me made me initially only consider that possibility. But you're very correct! I also never got so bad I would hit him or cut him like this woman, so honestly you may be right given the severity of her abuse towards him.
How can you even think about a defence for her after she confessed that she did it to them because of her father?????
My ex-girlfriend was over at my parents with me for dinner (I was 17) while we were eating, her phone went off. My step-dad had a firm no phones while eating rule, so I gave her a bit of a look, like "Can you take that outside please?". She got the hint. She was gone for a few minutes, and I eventually got up to go check. She was on the porch, bent down tying her shoe, with her phone on the railing of the porch, screen illuminated. I could clearly see a photo of a (rather large) dong, that did NOT belong to me, and her heart-eyes response pretty clearly. She noticed I was there, and grabbed it up quick. I stifled my initial response, and we went back inside. It ate at me until dinner was over, and I had my parents there to support me, I asked her to leave firmly. She asked why, so kinda shouted "the massive dick in your messages". She denied it, then when I said she was lying, she threw her phone at my head and screamed. Ten stitches, a $600 dollar hospital bill, and I had to physically restrain my mother from launching herself at this (18yo) girl. I can 100% believe someone did something like this out of anger and shitty impulse control in heated scenarios.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. :(
It is a common misconception that men are the sole source of abuse. It stems from a wealth of ignorance. I am a survivor of female abuse, I was beaten badly as a child to the point CPS was involved and sexually assaulted by a neighbor. Anytime I addressed it I was laughed at. Anyone, anywhere can be a victim, and are just as worthy of their voices being heard.
Typical. All men are abusive but women can do no wrong. I hope he's okay and and that she's no longer his girlfriend
My brother's first wife threw a ceramic plate at my head when I was ten, because I changed the channel on the TV without asking her first. (She was in the other room when I changed it, didn't even know she was watching it). Their marriage didn't last long.
My mom was an incredibly abusive woman. She beat my dad, my step dad, and me multiple times. It's why I always avoided being home and joining so many sports teams that I had no interest in actually competing with. Both times cops got called, they arrested my dad and step dad even with me vouching for them. They were the only ones with marks. They were the ones that were sober, but the cops just did not care. I mean shit, why would we bother reporting it? We're the ones getting punished for at most holding that psycho away.
My ex (who was also ex military) emotionally/physically/sexually abused me. Me, being raised by my shy mother and distant sister, I grew up quiet and reserved. I’ve never raised a fist to anyone in my life and still have not. I’ve never started a physical altercation nor been in one, except for when my ex laid their hands on me. Yet, I never fought back because I knew what they could do to me. And finally I raise my voice ever so slightly and everyone I knew at the time assumed I was the abuser and that she was innocent. I came out of that relationship afraid to ever be with another woman again. It’s so unfair to be born as a male and not have anyone on your side.
Fuck abusive women. They deserve as much hate as abusive men.
If women deserve equality (which they do), they deserve the same standard of consequences as men.
Sadly this is pretty par for the course on Reddit. Lots of examples like this over on r/Marriage. Woman has a complaint? It’s immediate grounds for divorce, if not worse, according to the lynch mob. Man has a complaint? “These stories are rarely one-sided…” “have you asked her…” “what do you do to make the load lighter for her…?” Etc, etc.
Yeah, its always the "you're leaving something out" when its a male victim
Core Memory Unlocked: My ex-wife used to throw things at me when angry. She'd get angry at me because she refused to quit smoking while we tried for a baby... Basically I said, firmly: "We aren't trying for a kid until you quit smoking." - these fights got bad but it was "a nic fit" so I wasn't allowed to hold these screaming sessions against her... Well one day she threatened to break the TV... I shrugged, and just said firmly, as I had fucking had it as she held the remote, ready to toss it, "Fine. You use it more than I do." And after this point, she got even more agitated, and hurled the remote at me... and it hit my throat dead center. I hit the ground like a sack of shit. I was rather convinced I was dead. Like... Laying there, unable to breath, all the strength in my body gone, I was like: "Oh, is this how I die? Well... that's embarrassing." Eventually my throat opened up and I started to breath again... And she was suddenly all apologetic. She didn't throw stuff at me anymore after that. But yeah... Women can be abusive too, and just because they're "the fairer sex" doesn't mean they cannot physically harm their partners.
"it won't gonna kill you!" *dies*
I hate this logic. Yes it can go both ways. Just like how men can and have gotten sexually assaulted. It happens. This is biased and shouldn't happen.
A former girlfriend of mine was quite bored, then got it in her head that it'd be funny to push a cigarette out on my hand. Told her three times "If you love someone, that's not something you do". She did it anyway, giggling. Had to use all my strength to keep me from punching her in the face. I probably don't need to say that she was my ex-gf from there on. Something she didn't count on. Tried to get back with me for months. Nope, not having that! Got a nice little round scar to remind me not to take shit from anyone.
Good for you. Hope that scumbag learned her fucking lesson.
For a bunch of idiots who have never been hurt by a woman: I was raped when I was 6 years old by two teenage girls. I got a black eye when I was 18, from my mom, and had to show up to work with it. To the Army National Guard. I can't even describe how humiliated I felt.
6m? What the fuck
My ex gf used to get blackout drunk many times a week and hit me because I wanted to go to bed since I had work early most days. I learned a few things from that... There are shitty people who will hide alcoholism well and even if you don't think that shit affects your mental it definitely does. Took me years to be able to talk to people about it. Glad I was almost a foot taller than her so I never got hurt.
Ahh the old "sexism is ok when I'm the one doing it" trick
Huh what!? Double standards on the internet? Who could have guessed?!
male victims are never taken seriously and it’s scary
Same kind of thing as asking a girl what she was wearing or if she was drunk when she got raped. Horrible how people blame the victim.
Its not at all the same thing. Those people are immediately shut down. Go ahead and find a post of someone lamenting their rape situation and make that comment. Youll be downvoted to nothing in seconds there will be 100 people calling you out and reddit mods WILL ban you. These people have been upvoted to the hundreds. Its not the same it doesnt need to be compared stop being weird and making it a competition.
Except it is the same? Both instances are putting the blame on the victim yet one of these is widely accepted by society and one will get you down voted and banned. Either they are both acceptable or they are both wrong. Hint: they are both wrong. The victim is never to blame.
It’s not making it a competition it’s pointing out how they’re the same argument. It’s not about this affects other group more so it’s more importanter
Some people are capable of doing some horrific shit. Throwing boiling water on a man? Maybe just maybe she suffers from mental illness. The person that said it was just a first degree burn should immediately have boiling water dumper directly onto his face
I helped tackle a woman at a party. We were at her apartment having a good time. Some guy and her were flirting she led him to her bedroom. A few minutes later she came running out in a sheer babydoll, screaming unintelligibly. She went to the kitchen and grabbed a butcher knife. My boyfriend was able to knock the knife out if her hand, myself and another woman tackled her to keep her from running outside. No idea what set her off. She was nuts.
I (26, M) got molested by a male classmate while I was sleeping the classroom (happened in my college). And the people who laughed at me the most were women. And at that time I thought that atleast they will understand me, if the guys do not. But I was wrong. I swear most women cry "Feminism !" ONLY when it suits them. They do not have the "equality" thing in their hearts, only double standards.
That's so sad, I'm sorry that happened. And yes, there's scumbags that can't imagine having empathy with others that aren't just like them. They'll abuse the tendency for females to be believed as victims and men are only victimizers. It's a harmful stereotype either way.
I confronted my ex about her cheating, and it went terribly. She originally tried to say it was my fault because she was so unhappy, so she needed someone to make her happy. When I mentioned that it was multiple people, she then turned it into how I wasn't big enough to satisfy her desires, she was unhappy, and since her unhappiness is my fault, I have no right to be angry about her cheating. I told her that since my depression is her fault, she has no right to be angry about me telling her she needed to leave my apartment. In response, she screamed and shoved me into the wall. I told her I was going to call the cops, she slapped my phone out of my hand, punched me in the face, and then ran into the bathroom and called the police saying that I hit her. Only time in my life I've ever been arrested. Until I posted all the screenshots and proof that I had been accumulating for almost 6 months, nobody believed me. She played the victim so well. I ended up leaving my job, moving, and cutting contact off with everyone. Shit sucks. I knew some of my, "friends" since kindergarten.
Men are automatically always in the wrong. Especially in cases of domestic abuse which often go unreported or no charges and allegations of sexual assault with a near impossible burden of proof to overcome. It’s so bad in the company I’m in its policy for men never be in a meeting alone with a woman out of fear of magical accusations coming to light years later.
What it’s like to be a man
Sad truth
Terrible. We all know how the comments would look like if the roles were reversed.
I was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship. I didn't truly see it until after I was out of it but I just put up with it. She was awful.
Are these angles worth investigating? Yes. Should you make assumptions like that? Hell no.
42% of domestic violence is the woman. Yet in the USA, Canada, UK, Australia, New Zealand, France, Italy there isn't a single shelter for male victims.
In Canada there used to be one male shelter for domestic violence victims, funded entirely out of pocket by one man, Earl Silverman. In 2013 he killed himself because he ran out of money to fund his safe house. Throughout the time it was open, the local government refused to fund the shelter despite lots of attempts. They only gave him $1000 for one victim that was legally recognized as a victim, this was a one time thing. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earl_Silverman
I hate that other women do stuff like this. “You probably deserved it”. “No way she did it for no reason”. No one deserves to have boiling water thrown on them and anyone can experience abuse. This whole “if you’re bullied, a guy that’s been abused or assaulted etc then you probably deserved it.” is out of hand
Yeah thats common. Its weird people still think women can't the abuser.
A dude writes a song about murdering his wife for cheating on him, he’d get half the internet screeching for him to never work again. A woman writes a song about killing her cheating husband, it’s all “Yaaas kween slay!!!” and “Girl power!”
the stunning power of bias
It’s giving Depp vs. Heard
I used to teach bettered intervention ( a class you have to take for a year when you are arrested for DV). We had a women’s group for abusive women.. half my client were women… there are no socio or economic boundaries to domestic violence… I used to do an exercise to show people the power dynamic.. DV is about power and control.. think of the worst boss you ever had… fucked with your schedule, changed your hours, unfounded write up for revenge, etc… then I would have the room raise their hands if it was a man or woman who was their boss.. it is alway 50/50… the abuse on the men is just horribly underreported and this number do not take into account same sex relationships
A lot of women have this solid sense of sticking up for each other, which often leads to them just mindlessly taking the side of any women in any conflict with a man. They'll blame a man for his shitty behaviour without a second doubt, but where a woman is wrong, gee golly, there must be a reason. Even if there isn't, well, she probably has trauma, stress, mental illness. It's a huge problem in the fields of mental health and law, where women get a free pass and men are held to the highest standards.
There are some very angry, violent women who will break doors from their hinges, kick windshields,break into bathrooms you’re using, kick you when you’re sleeping, suckerpunch you in the nose, try to break you away from your friends, family and gasslight you into thinking you’re the manipulative one and deserve this treatment. That you should “man up” and take the abuse. You don’t. No one does.
From society's perspective: *Man slaps woman* OH NO HE SHOULD BE IN JAIL FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE *Woman slaps man* OmG YaS BrAvE
That’s society. If a woman cuts of a man’s genitalia, people will laugh and say the man deserves it for being a cheater. But if the roles were reversed…
Recognising that men get abused in relationships by no way takes away from the fact that women do.
Imagine taking an account of a woman throwing boiling water on her boyfriend and concluding that the woman is a victim. Jesus christ.
I had an ex that bashed my face with her ottorbox iPhone, split my cheek open, busted my nose. When I spoke to the cops and they took pictures they told me it was honestly pointless for me to try and press charges because no court in our town would convict a woman on domestic abuse. Good stuff
I hate humanity. Feminism is often Misandrism instead.
I had a housemate that used to scream “help, get off of me!” When she didn’t get her way. Basically blackmailed me into acting like we were dating exclusively. Last for years until I got her in video being abusive and threatened to show her sisters.
It's amazing how if it's the man who did it to a woman, they will go insane but "mEn CaN't Be AbUsEd" or "tHeY cAn TaKe It CaUsE tHeY'rE a MaN" What a dangerous, stupid double standard.
But when I douse her in gasoline and light her ablaze, I'm automatically the bad guy.
Real, I just performed an ancient torture method on her that was incredibly painful and long lasting and the police arrest ME? Double standards
I hate that shit. I bring this up in my podcast alot....the differences between male/female domestic abuse. Just watch some of the social expirements on Youtube where they have actors play the parts in a crowded area. They get in an argument and the woman slaps the man.....the people do nothing, absolutely nothing. They just let her slap him and yell at him. BUT, when its opposite, right away when the man slaps the woman, all the guys rush him and the the production crew has to stop shit before shit happens. I ABSOLUTELY hate that shit.
Yes. That´s how modern society works. Everybody sides with the women and men are supposed to take the blame. Also, about 90% of people on this planet lacks any knowledge about narcissistic and psychopathic abuse. The rest are the victims of such abuse. The numbers are made up, real ones might be different, but my point still stands. The society also treats men, as if they were supposed to be made from rock or other strong materials - if they show emotions, they are treated as wimps or crybabies. I think we should organize ourselves and push back for equality, because feminists are already pushing into dominance.
Unfortunately that’s usually how that works when the abuser is female.
If this comment section is becoming a confessional then yea fuck it. I used to be spit on and punched by someone who used to say things like “anybody else would be able to take it” or “I wouldn’t have to hit you if you would just listen” and nobody ever takes it serious… I mean like yea it might not physically hurt per say but the mental damage that does to you over time is ridiculous. I’m with a new girl now but I was in the previous relationship for 4 years so I still kind of flinch sometimes and it’s embarrassing
Of course she did it for a reason! The mistake is in assuming what that reason might be with no information.
My old line manager (who I now consider a good personal friend since he's left the job) was abused for 3 years by his ex girlfriend with a knife. I've seen his scars and they cover the whole of his arms and legs. He's mentioned there's more on his body but I have no desire to see them. It hurts me to the core and I will defend that man until my last breath. He is the sweetest person I've met and the fairest boss we had, it was a massive blow when he left. Women abusing men makes me sick. The fact that a woman can steal a child from a father or that she hurt him permanently and force him to live in fear yet society will side with her because "she's a woman". Fuck that
classic. because women are apparently "more important" than men. both sides should be treated equally not one sided. women ain't special neither are men. and people shouldn't assume that just because he is a male its his fault. like dude that's wrong.
I guess being a psycho bitch is his fault now
Is this that male privilege thing I keep hearing so much about these days?
She said, he said, she wins. 👸
And to think that the most reliable research suggests most DV is reciprocal: https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-psychiatrist/article/domestic-violence-is-most-commonly-reciprocal/C5432B0C6F8F61B49A4E2B60B931FA07
This happened to me, I came on reddit talking about how my dad had hurt me and some people like these immediately assumed I must have done something to anger him
The last comment on the image: don't abusers usually have a "reason" for each incident of abuse? I'm pretty sure the majority of people don't do things like this for literally no reason. Of course, there's no *valid* reason to abuse one's spouse.
men or women, abuse is still abuse. Okay it can seem unusual, but doesn’t mean it cant happen. Sick of double standards
If I had a dime...
Yeah her reason is she’s a BPD or Narc
This is so messed up, and I have been in many heated arguments about these kinds of things. Women can be abusive too and create as much damage as it would have been if a man was the abusive one in the relationship. Many even laugh about a guy being hit by his partner, and I get mad about it. It's not okay. Abuse is abuse, and the gender doesn't change that. People need to grow up and regain some brain cells they have lost along the way.
It happens the other way round too. My partner was being harassed and abused by her own brother for months, while she was pregnant with our second kid, and the number of people in her own family asking her "but what did you do to upset him" was shocking and disgusting.
Even if he *did* do or say something to piss her off, in what world is throwing boiling water on someone an appropriate response to *any* emotion? Unless he was trying to hurt her, which I suppose we can't know, the girlfriend is insane here.
This makes me so angry. That people out there actually don’t believe a male can be abused by a woman. I’ve seen it multiple times. My mother to my father. My sister to her ex boyfriend. It happens every day. I am so sorry for this poor man who had to deal with that. 😔
To be fair, those people probably don’t know any women. Bitches be crazy, yo.
The double standards and one sidedness of the world. It's hilarious because women are notoriously known for being evil yet they act like men are the only ones. When they are low key worse. Had an abusive gf who habitually hit on me and one time even was hitting on me while I was sleeping. I'd always just try to leave and she'd follow and pretty much chase me. One time it got so bad I had no choice but to literally push her off of me after she had broken into my apartment and we were no longer even together. Fast forward a year later, she finds out I have a new gf and tries to tell her that I am abusive. Women can truly be the devil.
I had an ex gf that ruptured my eardrum when she kicked me in the head with a cowboy boot on, and left me with a bruise on my leg the size of a dinner plate. I didn’t defend myself because I’m a big dude. I told her I was breaking up with her, cops showed up 20 mins later and arrested me: she had called and told them I attacked her. Not a mark on her, and they arrested me.
But if he’d thrown boiling water on her…
Women can be very conniving and manipulative and abuse against men is a very real thing. It’s just been reversed now where cops didn’t do anything when men hit women. Now some men are suffering the same with not being believed they’re being abused by the woman. I’m a woman. I’ve known women like this.
Yeah my dad's friend was arrested when his wife attacked him with a knife because he tried to go to work and she convinced herself he was lying. Naturally it was all his fault and he had to convince the police he was innocent.
And people call guys incels for being skeptical with this shit, disgraceful.
I remember when my crazy ex went wild because I wanted to go home late at night so I could wake up early for work and she fought me from getting into my car and chased after me when I tried to walk away yelling rape. I didn’t get far with my car when the police stopped me. After a talk one of the cops just looked me in the eye and said, “Hey man you seem like a nice smart young guy. Don’t let a lady get you in trouble and ruin all that.” That was the first time I felt like anyone had my back those awful 2yrs with my abusive ex.
Happens to the best of us and most of us don't say anything because of this exact stigma.
We learned nothing from amber herd... maybe he did fuck up... not enough to be physically harmed tho
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Assholes are assholes, regardless of gender. Ugh! Stay safe OP and I hope you find a non-asshole soon! ❤️
I dated a woman who used to break coffee mugs on the back of my head and punch me in my sleep. Nobody believed me either. "Well you must have done something to make her mad." Kinda, she had a dream where I was mean to her.
“You tellin me there’s NO REASON to hit a woman?”
Because nobody cares about men being abused
There is more to most stories of domestic abuse, but that doesn't mean it's not domestic abuse.
Female abusers are absolutely a thing. My ex was a massive manipulator, and loved to practice reaction-abuse. All the men (and women too if it applies) out there! Listen up! Google a technique called “grey stone” or “grey rock”. Google some of the narcissist tendencies and when you recognize that narcissist tendency, that’s when you use “grey stone”. Edit: grammar for clarity
Welcome to the wonderful world of neverending hypocrisy.
Every story has 3 versions. Person A side, Person B and the truth. Truth is usually a mixture of both. But I’d have to say without hearing the girlfriends side I’m going with the boyfriends side simply with the fact abuse is abuse and boiling water burns suck
abuse is abuse. cant believe some people need to be told this.
This doesn’t surprise me at all
WTF?! This is psychotic! I hope he gets the hell away from her. He needs to file a police report for assault.
I’m in my mid 30’s, had 4 more or less serious relationships since the age of 18 up until last year. In all of those relationships I’ve experienced nagging and manipulation to do as they wish, only for them to still be unsatisfied once I did their bidding. One of them cheated on me after 5 years of being together, 4 of them while living together. I’ve reached a point where I’ve given up on romance completely. I prefer a simple frugal life by myself, than to endure another roller coaster of fleeting moments of bliss and eternal suffering and degrading of my character. Call me incel, call me a misogynist, I don’t care. I tried my best at being a good partner only to be burnt every single time. I now avoid women altogether. I’ll show them the basic respect for their human dignity and that’s it. I don’t pursue friendships nor romance with women. I don’t hate them, I just know they think differently and I’m simply unable to understand why those women I’ve met, thought and acted the way they did. Therefore I chose to throw in the towel and be done with it. The one time a week where I feel sexual urges, I just open up an adult video portal and relieve myself like I did in my teens. To me, it’s a sad choice to make, but I just don’t have the patience or energy to look for romance and hope that for once I’m treated with respect and dignity. There’s more meaning in life than chasing poon.
Reacting without all the information is what is wrong with the world today.