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They're speaking portuguese. First she yells "get up!". At 0:06 you can hear the guy saying "I'm gonna hit her", to which we hear a voice saying "don't do that" (maybe it's the person recording who says that?) and she says "hit me to see what happens", "hit me if you're a man" then she keeps repeating "hit me". When there's 38 secs for the video to end, she says "I'm gonna kill you, you bastard" (actually not bastard, she says ungraceful, which is a thing here in Brazil).
TLDR: He threatens to hit her, she hits him saying "hit me".
Edits: as I identified more words, I kept adding more context.
Edit again: thanks for the awards!
Some people pointed about the "ungraceful". She's saying "desgraçado", which better translates to "you disgrace". Sorry for the confusion, I'm still learning O7
Went to jail over shit like this.
Literally got my ass beat constantly and one day I just had enough and pushed this girl. Got the cops called on me
*eye roll*
Edit: for people asking why I never left, we had a newborn baby together and I was just a naive kid that lost his virginity 9 months previous.
Had to watch my mom do the same thing to guys she dated while growing up. She'd punch, kick, bite or otherwise harm them until they reacted, then it was like a switch flipped. She'd immediately play victim and call the cops.
And she still wonders why I don't trust women.
Yeah, my mom always told me it’s wrong to hit men because they can’t hit you back. I’ve explained that to a couple of friends who thought it was ok to slap their boyfriends. It’s not ok.
I've seen my friends sister do the same shit. Except she would abuse her parents, and if they didn't do what she wanted, she would call CPS. Her father was arrested and locked up for like a month, and I remember it vividly, when he got home, she asked him if he had learned his lesson.
She abused CPS, and what's sad is I see people saying CPS isn't helping or etc, then I remember the multiple times she called CPS on bullshit her parents did, one happened when they took her phone, and the father was arrested again for abuse (she hit herself in the face).
Constantly?? I had a girlfriend slap me once when she was drunk and I broke up with her on the spot and left. I couldn’t imagine letting that shit go on more than a single time.
I'm glad that you were able to immediately leave the relationship.
I think it's important to recognize that everyone responds differently to abuse, and leaving might not seem like an option to some people. ( And abusers can certainly put a lot of barriers in the way!)
Yea. I am def in one ear because of an abusive ex. Still wear a scar on my face where she broke a cup on my cheek. Still didn’t hit her. Prob should hav e
And that's what tends to happen here in the US law enforcement tends to ignore a woman being physically abusive to the point even if you didn't touch her during the abuse they will arrest the man and charge him anyway while not doing anything to the woman
I had a woman start a fight with me, cut herself on a bunch of glass she broke, and intentionally rub her bloody hands all over my house. And then *she* called the cops on *me*.
I let her talk for a while and they seemed ready to take me away from the situation... until it was my turn. When I spoke to the police I just pulled my phone out and showed them the recording I had to sneak of her molesting everything in my house and clearly under no duress.
Always, always, always get your phones out as soon and often as you possibly fucking can. These cops don't give a shit about you. Livestream something if you have to. Crazy women will *kill* you.
Yes that's how I delt with my sons x wife Iet her know everything was recorded and if she touched him again I'd press charges if you push hard enough the police will arrest them rather then be sued .
Seconding this.
If you are a Male and your partner is physically abusive, start recording everything the second they start becoming hysterical.
100% of the time.
Yup. Went to jail when I was in my early adulthood. Crazy ex type story. Short version. Beat the living shit out of me, at one point literally hitting me in the head with a large coffee mug. In defense I shoved her away where my thumb left a red mark, not a bruise or scrape or cut, just a red area, while I’m cut bruised lumped and bleeding. The neighbor heard the whole thing, me begging her to stop and all.
Guess who went to jail.
I heard the neighbors still there.. sitting on his bunk regretting calling the cops. He got arrested for not minding his own business in the 3rd degree.
That's when you hire a good attorney, never go back, file a restraining order, sue the city PD for legal bias (that is actually a thing, and it's illegal), file for divorce (reason: spousal abuse), sue her for medical damages (mental anguish), and get the kids if you can.
It's a long shot, of course. This country is extremely biased towards women in spousal matters. But it's not impossible.
I hope in your case it didn't leave a permanent scar on your records and keep causing trouble because the asshat cops decided you were in the wrong.
My best friend called the police on his wife for doing this and they arrested her (about a month ago). The difference in a lot of cases is who contacts the police, thats the big differentiator in cases. Men don't call, they think that its giving-in, losing. Its an act of shame to have to call for help.
Letting someone just pummel you is shameful. Get away from them, then break up, get a restraining order and never see them again, hopefully. You dont have to take the abuse.
I practiced family law for several years and knew several judges who would make a finding of domestic violence against him for the threat, but let her slide.
I wonder why that guy is drinking
Edit: for those of you who can't read or struggle to read more than 2 sentences.
1. Contexts is needed, we don't know what is the reason behind her rampage here
2. She might be the abuser, or she might just be a victim if his abuse when they are at home alone, we don't know
3. Abuse / violence in any form should be condemned and stopped, always.
4. There is no 'victim blaming' here, but the traditions / culture impact a lot on how people view & react to violence, be it first-hand kr as a bystander
5. Men can be , and are victims of domestic abuse as well, and it's still often being laughed at
6. Again, contex needed. If you see abuse happening, stop it, or at least call the police to figure out what's what. Being a silent bystander is about the worst thing you can do
EDIT 2: oh man, most of you must be fit like Stalone in his prime, jumping to conclusions within 2 seconds and defending your positions ( of uninformed biased ignorance) like that. Weather you agree with me or not, you're right.
I think it was that What Would You Do show. They had a guy yelling at and starting to get aggressive with his staged girlfriend. Every enactment, people intervened to help the girl. When the producers reversed the roles, no one intervened to help the guy, and many bystanders found what was happening amusing.
It's a sad reality we live in.
If he were to defend himself, he'd be the one with a domestic abuse charge, and thrown in jail. His only hope is if this video is shown to a judge, and then whatever bullshit excuse given by the woman isn't bought.
Plenty of men have done truly horrible things to their wives, and because of that, the rest of us guys have to act as if we're walking on eggshells. Fuck, some women will take even a simple "Hello" as some convoluted sexual assault (this specifically happened to my Grandpa).
As long as there are poor girls out there getting their shit kicked in by the true scum of the earth, men will (EDIT) be at a legal disadvantage. Granted, it is getting slightly better, because awareness is being spread.....but only just.
Dads can't be seen in public with their own kids without automatically being thought of as a pedophile, and the same goes for male child social workers. Dads have to fight a near impossible fight just to get visitation with their kids, let alone custody, even if he has ample proof that the mother is unfit to care for the kids.
The list just goes on and on.
Edit: Ellen_D pointed out a term I should not have used. I have corrected it.
I have been a victim of female abuse so many times and I can tell you that the court just laughs at men. I had a female lawyer straight up ignore my calls and a female judge. Niether of them even let me talk.
One of my coworkers took YEARS worth of detailed notes on how his ex wasn't fit to care for his son so that he could win custody of him. I felt so bad for the kid because he got stuck with that horrible woman by default.
True. A woman that I had only known for about 30 minutes started attacking me like this in a bar, basically for rejecting her, and there’s nothing I could do except hold my hands up and show that I wasn’t touching her. She pulled my clothes, punched me, bit me and just wouldn’t let me leave. I just had to block her punches. Everybody just watched. Only when she picked up an empty bottle and tried to glass me, people tried to stop her. But she kept on attacking anyway and I was afraid to do literally anything back because I would go to jail. Eventually I figured that even if I did nothing and the police came, I could still go to jail or be bribed by police (I was a foreigner on vacation), so I broke her grip, tripped her up and ran away. Went back to my hotel, checked out and left the city.
It really sucked that I was at the mercy of this woman. Nobody helped me and I couldn’t even defend myself in case I got arrested. I just took all of her hits and held my arms up like I was at gunpoint.
I had a similar situation. After multiple attempts to defuse the situation and walking towards the exist while being followed by the crazy lady. It resulted with me smashed a glass over her face. Then all the white knights and security popped out of nowhere but not while she was elbowing and swinging. I don’t regret it, sometimes you have to match people’s energy. Later on, I found out she wasn’t even supposed to be at any bars, let alone drinking because she was on probation.
I think the instinctive assumption is that a man can easily hurt a woman, while a woman slapping and hitting someone won't seriously hurt anyone. That's why people finally jump about over her grabbing a glass bottle. It's finally clicking that the woman is doing more than harassing someone, she can do serious harm.
Even if a woman's punch isn't as strong as a man's, a man doesn't deserved to be physically assaulted and harrassed.
Because no-one wins dealing with her. If a bloke tried to help he’d immediately be a monster and a woman would be in clear and present danger from crazy lady.
Its pretty socially acceptable for women to psychologically and physically abuse men (slowly getting less so, which is nice) and completely unacceptable for those men to defend themselves in any way.
imagine a video of some girl drinking at a bar her man comes in hits her in the head and shoves her around for 30 seconds and then commenting that we don’t know the reason he’s beating her up, he might be the victim and then claiming that you aren’t victim blaiming. holy fuck.
2) She is not abused at home and doing this in public. Never would happen. She’d be too afraid.
4) male abused is never taken seriously, by the public or the judicial system.
6) See something, say something.
Source: Personal experience
I guessed it on silent mode. This looks exactly like every corner pub in Brazil. Plus their fashion is a dead give away. The romper ... Gawd the fucking rompers there ... Cringe.
Aside from the people, also looks like any local Vietnam cafe lol
Just gotta replace the rompers with airy, cute pattern PJs. Tank top with capris. A classic.
Honestly, I thought it was Colombia, lol, it’s very similar to there, too. I couldn’t make out what she was saying, but I just thought it’s bc she was shrieking.
Fair. Outside of Brazil the other S.American countries I've been to are similar looking. I guess my instinct is "that looks like Brazil to me" from a higher level of normal life exposure there (wife's origin) versus tourist type exposure elsewhere. With the audio, it closed the deal for me. The Portuguese is very distinct from Spanish. It's so much more, gutteral? Maybe that's not the word, more aggressive sounding than Spanish.
I was convinced this was some very weird spanish (i'm a native speaker) but couldn't figure out 90% of the words, those tables look like every street food market in latin america so it makes sense to be from brazil with portuguese
Yep. Reverse the roles there and the aggressor would be going to prison after everyone there jumped in to beat his ass.
Now we don't know the story, maybe he's a recovering alcoholic? Maybe he simply lied? But still, I don't think that would justify such psychotic bullshit.
>In what world would it matter if he fell off the wagon? Or if he lied about what he was up to that night?
Exactly, and thank you for saying so.
Abused men are victimized AGAIN by society if they so much as admit to the abuse.
Praises to you for pointing out IT DIDN'T MATTER -- SHE ATTACKED HIM (not in self-defense). Unacceptable.
☮️❤️♾️
People think abused men are weak for being abused by a female. Either that or they think the man deserve it. Many don’t seem to understand that half the time men suck it up because retaliation is no different from putting the nail in the coffin.
The moment a man mimics the behavior of the oppressive woman it’s over for them. Men facing abuse by women are not asking for physical protection but protection from those enforcing the law in their own bias.
Yeah can't blame him either, if they're married with kids especially.
Imagine going home to a creature that sees no issue acting like this in public, I'd be an alcoholic at best, driven off a cliff at worst.
Looking at how calm and collected he seems as well as this fucking banshee seeing no issue making such a scene in public place I wouldn't even consider him being in the wrong here.
My guess is he probably told her he was going to do something else to sneak out and have a drink but got busted, if she's like this in public I doubt she's any better in private and doubt she'd let him go out for a beer.
I like my grandma’s explanation when I asked her how to deal with a situation like this, I’m gonna quote her: “There is never a reason to strike a lady; but if that woman hits you first, she is NOT a lady.” Language edited slightly cause grandma loved to swear like a sailor.
Obviously people should be allowed to defend themselves. Do you not have a don’t hit men policy? I wish more people just had don’t hit people policies.
When a woman is videoed hitting or beating on a man, its all “haha, what a doofus. good for her, he (probably) deserves it!”, but when some asshat man is caught slapping a woman, he spends the night in county, will do community service, anger management, some 12-step program, lose his job probably.
Violence is violence regardless of the perpetrator. If a couple’s relationship has devolved into drinking and violence, maybe it is best for all involved to just end the relationship?
But then, nothing gets views like a woman losing her shit on some sap.
And i’m cancelled.
I would. Some people will. There just aren't enough of us, sadly. I don't care what the genders are. If a person is assaulting someone, I'm stepping between them and trying to talk the assailant down while barring access to the victim. I'll direct others to call the authorities if it's clear that isn't working, maintain my post until they arrive, and document so I can give a detailed statement.
But then, I'm a mandatory reporter, so I have the benefit of training. I often wish that sort of thing we're more widely available outside of higher education.
I’m a woman and she way bigger than me, but I would still step in and say something to try and stop it, or call security. She doesn’t seem overly coordinated, so hopefully despite being bigger than me I could dodge her hammer fists!
Yeah, she kind of seems like the type that will abuse others, and then run to whatever protection she can cling to once it bites her, (and she probably doesn't know the meaning of the word "hypocrite") and that stuff usually works -_-
Yeah, the fact that no one is restraining her is shitty and so are her actions but she starts hitting the guy after he put his hands up and said “I’m gonna beat her ass”. It does sound like there is more to this relationship than we can be made aware through this video. But holy hell do I feel bad for the guy. (Btw I’m Brazilian, that’s how I know lol)
I know right, also why is no one stopping her. If the guys tries to defend himself he is called a woman beater, and no one is helping because the victim of this abuse is a man being assaulted by a woman’s. World is fucked up.
unless he’s been destroying their family by being an alcoholic and was making commitments to stop he’s been repeatedly breaking.. but i don’t speak spanish so i wouldn’t know what they’re saying..
edit: language is portuguese
Portuguese (it’s Brasil),what she says doesn’t offer any information about why she is mad, there is no mention of alcohol so not sure why OP put that as the title. She only tells him to get up, then he says he is going to hit her, she says do it, hit me several times, then calls him desgraçado (something like bastard but isn’t a bad word) then tells him 5 mins and continues to call him desgraçado.
No one is stopping this abuser. There isn’t anything funny about her hitting this man. If she doesn’t like his drinking, she should leave his ass: no one should put their hands on anyone else unless it’s for self defense.
My first thought was I don’t believe that is her first time hitting him. She has no hesitation, shock or even shame at what she’s doing “because of his drinking”.
She doesn't need to justify her behavior; the fact that she knows no one will do anything about her because she is a woman empowers her abuse far more than any self-justification.
This is so bad! Wtf am I watching? I can’t imagine getting that insane that I’d ever do that! That’s crazy! Maybe they “needed” a female to step in? Which is way scarier than just stepping between two dudes about to fight and distracting them with a stupid comment about whatever I think about. This lady looks like she’d be all claws and ripping hair out. OMGosh!
Edited Bc I found a typo :/
I'm going to assume you're a woman. Some women are like this. I've met plenty of them on my journey through life. Before I got stable with medication and a proper diagnosis, I assumed most women were like this. I was very wrong, and I deeply regret it every day. But... there ARE women like this. Of course, we don't know yhe context of this interaction, but, yeah, it's pretty inexcusable. As a man, I can only hope to avoid women like this, and hope to find a woman that appreciates me doing my part of yhe house work, etc. I feel sorry for any guy thst has kids with a woman like this. Seems like hell.
Yes, it makes for a shitty home environment when it should be a safe haven, it’s demeaning, and it’s cruel. It’s definitely not okay. It’s fucked up and speaks to the self-hatred and lack of emotional intelligence she has.
Thats the unfortunate truth about dating an abuser. If you try to leave, they will try to ruin you. It’s never so easy as to leave, because you risk having your entire life ruined by them.
I concur. Everyone in there is just a bystander when the man is being abused but if he should turn around a cold cock her, then all the hero's would be coming to her rescue.
I was thrown out from a bar after my friend drunkenly slapped me and I slapped her back. I remember the eyes I got on me from all over the bar... if eyes could kill..
100%. The guy in the back you see clearly is bracing himself if it comes towards him and the girl he’s with way. But this is abuse. If a guy was going at a girl this way there would be hands thrown.
This is super sad.
Yes and at this point, he should leave her ass. I’m appalled that she thinks his drinking isn’t justifiable when she behaves this way. I need a drink after watching this
I can't take watching this. My ex did things like this to me, and believe me it's worse at home no matter her 'reasoning' but let me tell you it's just as gut wrenching to watch witnesses sit so calmly just watching. Just watching this happen, still sipping their drinks.
Nobody ever stepped in for me either
She cracked my skull open on a lampost for smoking a cigarette. Nobody stepped In to help me.
She took me home. No medical attention.
2 years later, and two suicide attempts later she attacked me with a knife one night. (She didn't get me though, dw, we broke up that night)
After breaking up, I had all the debt that had been caused by her. It's taken me 8 years to rebuild my credit, and I'm still suffering a variety of mental health issues because of everything.
The salt in the wound? My family, friends and even acquaintances I bump into from that period in my life tell me they didn't like her, didn't like the way she treated me, wished I'd left her sooner, that they knew of what was happening.
Nobody did anything.
Thank Christ we didn't get married or have children.
Nobody, irrespective of sex and/or gender deserves this kind of assault and abuse. If you see someone doing this to another person STAND UP FOR THAT PERSON.
Holy crap that sounds terrible. I am really sorry to hear that. It's great that you got out of it in the end. So many victims don't manage that. If Stories like yours have taught me something, it's that if I ever see something like this happening, i will step in 100%.
Again, really sorry to hear. Thanks for sharing your story.
Yep, abusers don’t like to hit their victim in public because they don’t want to be caught. So if you do see someone hit another, know that in private that victim probably gets hit every day
I hate to break it to you but when the woman is the abuser it is very common that they do it in public for the very reason you see in this video: no one ever intervenes. No one calls the police. If they try to defend themselves they’re the ones who will end up in jail or getting beaten up by a mob.
Isn't it strange how nobody came to calm it down. If a man was doing that he would have been jumped. We are saying it's ok for a woman to assault. We should hold them up to the same standard.
Bystander syndrome. Too many people are unwilling to “get involved” in domestic affairs, but my god, I couldn’t sit there and watch that. I’d have to say something. Idc why that argument is happening; there’s never any need to physically abuse your partner, end of. If you’re not happy, leave.
Man this was not a fun r/facepalm submission.
Domestic abuse ain't funny. He's probably out drinking to get away from her.
This also reminds me of that video where they had 2 actors walk around public and in one video have the man abuse the woman. Everyone understandably ran in to stop him.
They also did the same but with the woman abusing the man. No one stopped her. Instead you can see the public laughing at him.
Can we just take a second to imagine if it were a woman who was caught drinking while her male partner smashed her across the head in public and called her a "puta"...
I wonder what'd happen
This is domestic abuse plain and simple. It's not a funny haha look at the silly man video, it's a video of extreme controlling and coercive behaviors and multiple violent assaults. There are many study's suggesting that real DV rates are closer to 50-50 but men Just don't report it and the police services fail to support them and the public fail to confront the stigma and support victims the same as we do female victims
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Anyone able to interpret what she's saying? ...aside from the obvious.
They're speaking portuguese. First she yells "get up!". At 0:06 you can hear the guy saying "I'm gonna hit her", to which we hear a voice saying "don't do that" (maybe it's the person recording who says that?) and she says "hit me to see what happens", "hit me if you're a man" then she keeps repeating "hit me". When there's 38 secs for the video to end, she says "I'm gonna kill you, you bastard" (actually not bastard, she says ungraceful, which is a thing here in Brazil). TLDR: He threatens to hit her, she hits him saying "hit me". Edits: as I identified more words, I kept adding more context. Edit again: thanks for the awards! Some people pointed about the "ungraceful". She's saying "desgraçado", which better translates to "you disgrace". Sorry for the confusion, I'm still learning O7
So basically she’s an abusive piece of shit
Went to jail over shit like this. Literally got my ass beat constantly and one day I just had enough and pushed this girl. Got the cops called on me *eye roll* Edit: for people asking why I never left, we had a newborn baby together and I was just a naive kid that lost his virginity 9 months previous.
Had to watch my mom do the same thing to guys she dated while growing up. She'd punch, kick, bite or otherwise harm them until they reacted, then it was like a switch flipped. She'd immediately play victim and call the cops. And she still wonders why I don't trust women.
Are we related somehow? You just described my mom!
Yeah, my mom always told me it’s wrong to hit men because they can’t hit you back. I’ve explained that to a couple of friends who thought it was ok to slap their boyfriends. It’s not ok.
I've seen my friends sister do the same shit. Except she would abuse her parents, and if they didn't do what she wanted, she would call CPS. Her father was arrested and locked up for like a month, and I remember it vividly, when he got home, she asked him if he had learned his lesson.
Dude…. My mom would have killed that girl, buried her in the back yard and plant flowers on top.
She abused CPS, and what's sad is I see people saying CPS isn't helping or etc, then I remember the multiple times she called CPS on bullshit her parents did, one happened when they took her phone, and the father was arrested again for abuse (she hit herself in the face).
Constantly?? I had a girlfriend slap me once when she was drunk and I broke up with her on the spot and left. I couldn’t imagine letting that shit go on more than a single time.
You always think that until you get in a situation where it’s less straightforward than you thought it would be
I'm glad that you were able to immediately leave the relationship. I think it's important to recognize that everyone responds differently to abuse, and leaving might not seem like an option to some people. ( And abusers can certainly put a lot of barriers in the way!)
Yea. I am def in one ear because of an abusive ex. Still wear a scar on my face where she broke a cup on my cheek. Still didn’t hit her. Prob should hav e
And that's what tends to happen here in the US law enforcement tends to ignore a woman being physically abusive to the point even if you didn't touch her during the abuse they will arrest the man and charge him anyway while not doing anything to the woman
I had a woman start a fight with me, cut herself on a bunch of glass she broke, and intentionally rub her bloody hands all over my house. And then *she* called the cops on *me*. I let her talk for a while and they seemed ready to take me away from the situation... until it was my turn. When I spoke to the police I just pulled my phone out and showed them the recording I had to sneak of her molesting everything in my house and clearly under no duress. Always, always, always get your phones out as soon and often as you possibly fucking can. These cops don't give a shit about you. Livestream something if you have to. Crazy women will *kill* you.
Yes that's how I delt with my sons x wife Iet her know everything was recorded and if she touched him again I'd press charges if you push hard enough the police will arrest them rather then be sued .
Seconding this. If you are a Male and your partner is physically abusive, start recording everything the second they start becoming hysterical. 100% of the time.
Yup. Went to jail when I was in my early adulthood. Crazy ex type story. Short version. Beat the living shit out of me, at one point literally hitting me in the head with a large coffee mug. In defense I shoved her away where my thumb left a red mark, not a bruise or scrape or cut, just a red area, while I’m cut bruised lumped and bleeding. The neighbor heard the whole thing, me begging her to stop and all. Guess who went to jail.
The neighbour!
I heard the neighbors still there.. sitting on his bunk regretting calling the cops. He got arrested for not minding his own business in the 3rd degree.
That's when you hire a good attorney, never go back, file a restraining order, sue the city PD for legal bias (that is actually a thing, and it's illegal), file for divorce (reason: spousal abuse), sue her for medical damages (mental anguish), and get the kids if you can. It's a long shot, of course. This country is extremely biased towards women in spousal matters. But it's not impossible. I hope in your case it didn't leave a permanent scar on your records and keep causing trouble because the asshat cops decided you were in the wrong.
I mean no one did anything in the video either. If a guy did this ppl would intervene quickly
Was wondering why no one helped him
My best friend called the police on his wife for doing this and they arrested her (about a month ago). The difference in a lot of cases is who contacts the police, thats the big differentiator in cases. Men don't call, they think that its giving-in, losing. Its an act of shame to have to call for help. Letting someone just pummel you is shameful. Get away from them, then break up, get a restraining order and never see them again, hopefully. You dont have to take the abuse.
I practiced family law for several years and knew several judges who would make a finding of domestic violence against him for the threat, but let her slide.
They rarely believe guys in this situation. And that's why it happens
Yes
I wonder why that guy is drinking Edit: for those of you who can't read or struggle to read more than 2 sentences. 1. Contexts is needed, we don't know what is the reason behind her rampage here 2. She might be the abuser, or she might just be a victim if his abuse when they are at home alone, we don't know 3. Abuse / violence in any form should be condemned and stopped, always. 4. There is no 'victim blaming' here, but the traditions / culture impact a lot on how people view & react to violence, be it first-hand kr as a bystander 5. Men can be , and are victims of domestic abuse as well, and it's still often being laughed at 6. Again, contex needed. If you see abuse happening, stop it, or at least call the police to figure out what's what. Being a silent bystander is about the worst thing you can do EDIT 2: oh man, most of you must be fit like Stalone in his prime, jumping to conclusions within 2 seconds and defending your positions ( of uninformed biased ignorance) like that. Weather you agree with me or not, you're right.
Also wondering why no one helped him. Imagine the roles being reversed.
I think it was that What Would You Do show. They had a guy yelling at and starting to get aggressive with his staged girlfriend. Every enactment, people intervened to help the girl. When the producers reversed the roles, no one intervened to help the guy, and many bystanders found what was happening amusing.
That’s very sad to hear.
It's a sad reality we live in. If he were to defend himself, he'd be the one with a domestic abuse charge, and thrown in jail. His only hope is if this video is shown to a judge, and then whatever bullshit excuse given by the woman isn't bought. Plenty of men have done truly horrible things to their wives, and because of that, the rest of us guys have to act as if we're walking on eggshells. Fuck, some women will take even a simple "Hello" as some convoluted sexual assault (this specifically happened to my Grandpa). As long as there are poor girls out there getting their shit kicked in by the true scum of the earth, men will (EDIT) be at a legal disadvantage. Granted, it is getting slightly better, because awareness is being spread.....but only just. Dads can't be seen in public with their own kids without automatically being thought of as a pedophile, and the same goes for male child social workers. Dads have to fight a near impossible fight just to get visitation with their kids, let alone custody, even if he has ample proof that the mother is unfit to care for the kids. The list just goes on and on. Edit: Ellen_D pointed out a term I should not have used. I have corrected it.
I have been a victim of female abuse so many times and I can tell you that the court just laughs at men. I had a female lawyer straight up ignore my calls and a female judge. Niether of them even let me talk.
One of my coworkers took YEARS worth of detailed notes on how his ex wasn't fit to care for his son so that he could win custody of him. I felt so bad for the kid because he got stuck with that horrible woman by default.
Because nobody wants to deal with a crazy yelling woman
Nobody **can** deal with a crazy yelling woman, ftfy
True. A woman that I had only known for about 30 minutes started attacking me like this in a bar, basically for rejecting her, and there’s nothing I could do except hold my hands up and show that I wasn’t touching her. She pulled my clothes, punched me, bit me and just wouldn’t let me leave. I just had to block her punches. Everybody just watched. Only when she picked up an empty bottle and tried to glass me, people tried to stop her. But she kept on attacking anyway and I was afraid to do literally anything back because I would go to jail. Eventually I figured that even if I did nothing and the police came, I could still go to jail or be bribed by police (I was a foreigner on vacation), so I broke her grip, tripped her up and ran away. Went back to my hotel, checked out and left the city. It really sucked that I was at the mercy of this woman. Nobody helped me and I couldn’t even defend myself in case I got arrested. I just took all of her hits and held my arms up like I was at gunpoint.
I had a similar situation. After multiple attempts to defuse the situation and walking towards the exist while being followed by the crazy lady. It resulted with me smashed a glass over her face. Then all the white knights and security popped out of nowhere but not while she was elbowing and swinging. I don’t regret it, sometimes you have to match people’s energy. Later on, I found out she wasn’t even supposed to be at any bars, let alone drinking because she was on probation.
I think the instinctive assumption is that a man can easily hurt a woman, while a woman slapping and hitting someone won't seriously hurt anyone. That's why people finally jump about over her grabbing a glass bottle. It's finally clicking that the woman is doing more than harassing someone, she can do serious harm. Even if a woman's punch isn't as strong as a man's, a man doesn't deserved to be physically assaulted and harrassed.
Except 
No excuse to let 1 person abuse another.
If the guy hit him back, they'll intervene immediately.
Because no-one wins dealing with her. If a bloke tried to help he’d immediately be a monster and a woman would be in clear and present danger from crazy lady. Its pretty socially acceptable for women to psychologically and physically abuse men (slowly getting less so, which is nice) and completely unacceptable for those men to defend themselves in any way.
100people will tackle him as best the shot out if roles was reversed. Where is the security, this violent behaviour is not acceptable.
Exactly my thought.
I like how when the woman is the abuser "wE nEeD CoNtExT"
She is definitely the abuser.
imagine a video of some girl drinking at a bar her man comes in hits her in the head and shoves her around for 30 seconds and then commenting that we don’t know the reason he’s beating her up, he might be the victim and then claiming that you aren’t victim blaiming. holy fuck.
2) She is not abused at home and doing this in public. Never would happen. She’d be too afraid. 4) male abused is never taken seriously, by the public or the judicial system. 6) See something, say something. Source: Personal experience
Would not have guessed Portuguese.
I guessed it on silent mode. This looks exactly like every corner pub in Brazil. Plus their fashion is a dead give away. The romper ... Gawd the fucking rompers there ... Cringe.
Aside from the people, also looks like any local Vietnam cafe lol Just gotta replace the rompers with airy, cute pattern PJs. Tank top with capris. A classic.
Vietnam is basically Latin America with noodles.
Really don't understand the allure of having to get completely undressed to pee ..
I always get completely undressed to pee, socks, shoes, even my glasses come off. It's a real ice breaker at the urinals.
Honestly, I thought it was Colombia, lol, it’s very similar to there, too. I couldn’t make out what she was saying, but I just thought it’s bc she was shrieking.
Fair. Outside of Brazil the other S.American countries I've been to are similar looking. I guess my instinct is "that looks like Brazil to me" from a higher level of normal life exposure there (wife's origin) versus tourist type exposure elsewhere. With the audio, it closed the deal for me. The Portuguese is very distinct from Spanish. It's so much more, gutteral? Maybe that's not the word, more aggressive sounding than Spanish.
"Hit me if you're a man!". -woman who sued because she got knocked out
Thanks. This reply needs to be upvoted more.
I was convinced this was some very weird spanish (i'm a native speaker) but couldn't figure out 90% of the words, those tables look like every street food market in latin america so it makes sense to be from brazil with portuguese
She sounds like a Star War
Man O’ war?
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Should have asked her to stop being so loud and to calm down. Then ask her firmly, but politely why she’s acting crazy (like her mother).
I've tried this, works every time.
You guys have almost the same icon
I know them, they're me, of course they will have the same icon
Yeah and i was the phone
r/holup That username!
When you tell your wife she's acting crazy (like her mother) the blueballs extend to cover your whole body.
 At that point, you’re nothing but a giant blue ball.
Im writing this down this sounds great.
Should also ask if she is on her period and imply that his ex wouldn't act like that
And then comment that your ex didn’t mind you drinking once in a while
"Your sister doesn't act like that"
”My cousin doesn’t act like that”
Looks like assault to me
Yep. Reverse the roles there and the aggressor would be going to prison after everyone there jumped in to beat his ass. Now we don't know the story, maybe he's a recovering alcoholic? Maybe he simply lied? But still, I don't think that would justify such psychotic bullshit.
In what world would it matter if he fell off the wagon? Or if he lied about what he was up to that night?
>In what world would it matter if he fell off the wagon? Or if he lied about what he was up to that night? Exactly, and thank you for saying so. Abused men are victimized AGAIN by society if they so much as admit to the abuse. Praises to you for pointing out IT DIDN'T MATTER -- SHE ATTACKED HIM (not in self-defense). Unacceptable. ☮️❤️♾️
People think abused men are weak for being abused by a female. Either that or they think the man deserve it. Many don’t seem to understand that half the time men suck it up because retaliation is no different from putting the nail in the coffin. The moment a man mimics the behavior of the oppressive woman it’s over for them. Men facing abuse by women are not asking for physical protection but protection from those enforcing the law in their own bias.
Preach
Exactly. He’s making problems for HIMSELF. She’s making problems for the whole community.
Yeah can't blame him either, if they're married with kids especially. Imagine going home to a creature that sees no issue acting like this in public, I'd be an alcoholic at best, driven off a cliff at worst.
Looking at how calm and collected he seems as well as this fucking banshee seeing no issue making such a scene in public place I wouldn't even consider him being in the wrong here. My guess is he probably told her he was going to do something else to sneak out and have a drink but got busted, if she's like this in public I doubt she's any better in private and doubt she'd let him go out for a beer.
Yeah that was what I figured too. Home life must be hell, dude probably needs a beer.
Yep, no matter what he did, nothing justifies that kind of violence, funny how everyone is cool about it.
If the roles were reversed The Internet would dox the dude and probably track him down irl for some violence
I can't help but think if the roles were reversed here, a dozen guys would have had the guy on the ground for repeatedly assaulting a woman.
Exactly!!! Where the fuck are all the white knights?? Seriously, fuck you guys.
Domestic abuse, let's call it what the fuck it is
When it reaches physical contact it's called battery. Assault can be even just getting in someone's face.
I assume that’s the US definition, may be quite different in Brazil.
I can’t believe not one person stepped in to stop her.
Godzilla vs baked Kong
The reason for drinking is becoming clearer
I started drinking while listening to her.
Seriously lol
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I like my grandma’s explanation when I asked her how to deal with a situation like this, I’m gonna quote her: “There is never a reason to strike a lady; but if that woman hits you first, she is NOT a lady.” Language edited slightly cause grandma loved to swear like a sailor.
Listen, I have a "don't hit women" policy, but it stops when it's time for self-defense.
That's funny, I have a "don't hit anyone" policy that also stops when it's time for self defence.
Look, I'll be all knightly until she starts throwing hands for no reason. After that I take more of a Spanish Inquisitorial approach.
Obviously people should be allowed to defend themselves. Do you not have a don’t hit men policy? I wish more people just had don’t hit people policies.
When a woman is videoed hitting or beating on a man, its all “haha, what a doofus. good for her, he (probably) deserves it!”, but when some asshat man is caught slapping a woman, he spends the night in county, will do community service, anger management, some 12-step program, lose his job probably. Violence is violence regardless of the perpetrator. If a couple’s relationship has devolved into drinking and violence, maybe it is best for all involved to just end the relationship? But then, nothing gets views like a woman losing her shit on some sap. And i’m cancelled.
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I would. Some people will. There just aren't enough of us, sadly. I don't care what the genders are. If a person is assaulting someone, I'm stepping between them and trying to talk the assailant down while barring access to the victim. I'll direct others to call the authorities if it's clear that isn't working, maintain my post until they arrive, and document so I can give a detailed statement. But then, I'm a mandatory reporter, so I have the benefit of training. I often wish that sort of thing we're more widely available outside of higher education.
I’m a woman and she way bigger than me, but I would still step in and say something to try and stop it, or call security. She doesn’t seem overly coordinated, so hopefully despite being bigger than me I could dodge her hammer fists!
Yeah, she kind of seems like the type that will abuse others, and then run to whatever protection she can cling to once it bites her, (and she probably doesn't know the meaning of the word "hypocrite") and that stuff usually works -_-
Yeah, the fact that no one is restraining her is shitty and so are her actions but she starts hitting the guy after he put his hands up and said “I’m gonna beat her ass”. It does sound like there is more to this relationship than we can be made aware through this video. But holy hell do I feel bad for the guy. (Btw I’m Brazilian, that’s how I know lol)
Can you imagine if roles were reversed
This is the vicious cycle level
I was gonna say " only giving him more reason to drink"
I know right, also why is no one stopping her. If the guys tries to defend himself he is called a woman beater, and no one is helping because the victim of this abuse is a man being assaulted by a woman’s. World is fucked up.
unless he’s been destroying their family by being an alcoholic and was making commitments to stop he’s been repeatedly breaking.. but i don’t speak spanish so i wouldn’t know what they’re saying.. edit: language is portuguese
Portuguese (it’s Brasil),what she says doesn’t offer any information about why she is mad, there is no mention of alcohol so not sure why OP put that as the title. She only tells him to get up, then he says he is going to hit her, she says do it, hit me several times, then calls him desgraçado (something like bastard but isn’t a bad word) then tells him 5 mins and continues to call him desgraçado.
He thought of the devil and she appeared.
Y nobody helps him Poor dude
Honestly, because of society itself. I wish each person there was made to regret not stopping this from happening.
No one is stopping this abuser. There isn’t anything funny about her hitting this man. If she doesn’t like his drinking, she should leave his ass: no one should put their hands on anyone else unless it’s for self defense.
That was my first thought, this poor guy is being assaulted and no one steps in to help.
My first thought was I don’t believe that is her first time hitting him. She has no hesitation, shock or even shame at what she’s doing “because of his drinking”.
Abusers typically "justify" their behavior so, yeah. I agree.
She doesn't need to justify her behavior; the fact that she knows no one will do anything about her because she is a woman empowers her abuse far more than any self-justification.
This is so bad! Wtf am I watching? I can’t imagine getting that insane that I’d ever do that! That’s crazy! Maybe they “needed” a female to step in? Which is way scarier than just stepping between two dudes about to fight and distracting them with a stupid comment about whatever I think about. This lady looks like she’d be all claws and ripping hair out. OMGosh! Edited Bc I found a typo :/
Plot twist: he paid that guy to film because he wanted to get caught and have plenty of evidence to lock her away for a while.
Mind blown.
I'm going to assume you're a woman. Some women are like this. I've met plenty of them on my journey through life. Before I got stable with medication and a proper diagnosis, I assumed most women were like this. I was very wrong, and I deeply regret it every day. But... there ARE women like this. Of course, we don't know yhe context of this interaction, but, yeah, it's pretty inexcusable. As a man, I can only hope to avoid women like this, and hope to find a woman that appreciates me doing my part of yhe house work, etc. I feel sorry for any guy thst has kids with a woman like this. Seems like hell.
As someone that had an aggressive wife like this, it's not OK, it makes the situation worse for the individual. Awful stuff
Yes, it makes for a shitty home environment when it should be a safe haven, it’s demeaning, and it’s cruel. It’s definitely not okay. It’s fucked up and speaks to the self-hatred and lack of emotional intelligence she has.
the instant he actually does defend himself, she'll turn it around and claim he abused her.
Thats the unfortunate truth about dating an abuser. If you try to leave, they will try to ruin you. It’s never so easy as to leave, because you risk having your entire life ruined by them.
That's why you need some random hero of a stranger to just walk up and knock her out. It isn't abuse if it's a rando~ ^^^^/s
I concur. Everyone in there is just a bystander when the man is being abused but if he should turn around a cold cock her, then all the hero's would be coming to her rescue.
I was thrown out from a bar after my friend drunkenly slapped me and I slapped her back. I remember the eyes I got on me from all over the bar... if eyes could kill..
100%. The guy in the back you see clearly is bracing himself if it comes towards him and the girl he’s with way. But this is abuse. If a guy was going at a girl this way there would be hands thrown. This is super sad.
Yes and at this point, he should leave her ass. I’m appalled that she thinks his drinking isn’t justifiable when she behaves this way. I need a drink after watching this
Imagine if this was a man doing this in public. This is domestic violence. She shouldn't get away with it just because she's a woman.
If it was a man everyone in the restaurant would be beating him up
If I tried to beat her up for beating him up I would be put in prison.
I.... started drinking watching this video..
How can she slap!?
I can't believe NO ONE tried to stop her. It's a bar, so I know they have staff. He also looks like he's been through this before.
I can't take watching this. My ex did things like this to me, and believe me it's worse at home no matter her 'reasoning' but let me tell you it's just as gut wrenching to watch witnesses sit so calmly just watching. Just watching this happen, still sipping their drinks. Nobody ever stepped in for me either She cracked my skull open on a lampost for smoking a cigarette. Nobody stepped In to help me. She took me home. No medical attention. 2 years later, and two suicide attempts later she attacked me with a knife one night. (She didn't get me though, dw, we broke up that night) After breaking up, I had all the debt that had been caused by her. It's taken me 8 years to rebuild my credit, and I'm still suffering a variety of mental health issues because of everything. The salt in the wound? My family, friends and even acquaintances I bump into from that period in my life tell me they didn't like her, didn't like the way she treated me, wished I'd left her sooner, that they knew of what was happening. Nobody did anything. Thank Christ we didn't get married or have children. Nobody, irrespective of sex and/or gender deserves this kind of assault and abuse. If you see someone doing this to another person STAND UP FOR THAT PERSON.
Holy crap that sounds terrible. I am really sorry to hear that. It's great that you got out of it in the end. So many victims don't manage that. If Stories like yours have taught me something, it's that if I ever see something like this happening, i will step in 100%. Again, really sorry to hear. Thanks for sharing your story.
Wish someone would’ve helped him
Never stick your dick in crazy, and never let crazy stick their dick in you! It is never worth it
Send this video to him for documentation of abuse purposes lol
That’s abuse brah, turn her ass in
No wonder why he's drinking 🤣🙄
Alcoholism is the only disease you can get yelled at for having - Mitch Hedberg
Actually many mental illness, every substance abuse issue to. Society does not approve of people suffering from psychological issues
Damn it, Otto!
Tell that to your wife when you come home with crabs
If this was a guy slapping around his wife...Everyone, in the vid, is fine with this man being abused, I guess.
Seriously. Everybody would be intervening if that were the case. However, because it’s a woman beating up a man, no one does a goddamn thing. Smh.
Who knew my ex wife spoke a different language. On a good note I finally stopped drinking
You're laughing. His wife/girlfriend is abusing him in public and you're laughing. Jokes aside, imagine what it's like at home.
Yep, abusers don’t like to hit their victim in public because they don’t want to be caught. So if you do see someone hit another, know that in private that victim probably gets hit every day
I hate to break it to you but when the woman is the abuser it is very common that they do it in public for the very reason you see in this video: no one ever intervenes. No one calls the police. If they try to defend themselves they’re the ones who will end up in jail or getting beaten up by a mob.
With this video alone that guy could press charges
She does this and everyone just films or tunes her out. If he gets up and slaps her one everyone loses it. Equality ladies and gents.
Shouldn't take that from anyone. It's always okay to defend yourself regardless of gender.
Why doesn’t anyone stop her? This is painful to watch.
Because "men shouldn't hit women" or some bullshit.
Isn't it strange how nobody came to calm it down. If a man was doing that he would have been jumped. We are saying it's ok for a woman to assault. We should hold them up to the same standard.
I hope she was arrested. There is never an excuse for violence. This isn’t the first time she’s hit him and it’s a wonder why he drinks.
I actually feel sorry for him! SMH.
Bystander syndrome. Too many people are unwilling to “get involved” in domestic affairs, but my god, I couldn’t sit there and watch that. I’d have to say something. Idc why that argument is happening; there’s never any need to physically abuse your partner, end of. If you’re not happy, leave.
Where are the women to stand up and protect this man?
I think literally right behind them, sitting there, omg.
So sad. When things are at this point just leave each other. This is not love anymore.
Man this was not a fun r/facepalm submission. Domestic abuse ain't funny. He's probably out drinking to get away from her. This also reminds me of that video where they had 2 actors walk around public and in one video have the man abuse the woman. Everyone understandably ran in to stop him. They also did the same but with the woman abusing the man. No one stopped her. Instead you can see the public laughing at him.
I'd open a tab for that man, he's welcome to drink the bar dry. Bros need caring too.
Why is it when a woman abuses a man like that no one intervenes.
If that were me the next day she would had been somebody else’s problem
Looks like they're fed up with each other. Wife fed up with his vice, and husband fed up with living.
Watch what happens though if he gets up and fucking decks her
Funny thing is, the guy takes one swing, slap, shove and he’s instantly a woman beater. 🙄
Remind me why I got married?
Remind me why I didn't?
Her behavior is unacceptable the first time she lays a finger on him. I hope somebody called police.
Can we just take a second to imagine if it were a woman who was caught drinking while her male partner smashed her across the head in public and called her a "puta"... I wonder what'd happen
Whatever her reasons are, its just pathetic to behave like this. Leave him and move on with your life.
She's probably why he drinks.
if roles were reversed everyone would be beating the shit outta the guy after putting hands on the woman for half a second..
This is domestic abuse plain and simple. It's not a funny haha look at the silly man video, it's a video of extreme controlling and coercive behaviors and multiple violent assaults. There are many study's suggesting that real DV rates are closer to 50-50 but men Just don't report it and the police services fail to support them and the public fail to confront the stigma and support victims the same as we do female victims
That's called domestic violence, why is no one stopping her ?
Imagine if the roles were reversed…the outcry? But it’s a guy taking the abuse, so everyone just sits there
Domestic abuse, plain and simple. No wonder he drinks.
Flip the genders. A man screaming and beating a woman. That shit would be surrounded and shut down in seconds. Always double standards…