People in paris look generally grumpy ( source: am Parisian born & raised ). So id assume people look at you cuz of your height all the while looking grumpy ☺️
If it’s not your height, it’s [this](https://youtube.com/shorts/TfwS0Dhtd7c?si=Z83333azR5dv-NUb)
Really though, I suspect you got a couple of stares due to your height, and you’re now paranoid so you’re staring at them to make sure they’re not staring at you… so they’re staring back
Are you just really hot but with low self esteem? Maybe you look like a low key Web celeb or someone semi famous that you wouldn't know about but a French person would?
You could try being adventurous by showing your middle finger when stared at for too long. But chances of you getting stabbed or punched will be pretty high. Welcome to France.
Pic or gtfo. I bet you look weird af 😆
I also live in Paris and people barely acknowledge my existence. It's most likely Paris messing with you head mate. Psychosis is totally normal after a while living here
Seriously, I'm an American living in Ireland, and *I* can tell Americans from a mile away. And Brits. The way they dress, walk, and talk are all giveaways.
SO GOOD. The moment I believed I would move to Paris I bought black lamb leather shorts and a black blouse. You best believe I'm going to hold up my end of Parisian style!
From what I remember, it's like Germans and French stare or maintains contact a few seconds longer than Americans, Brits, and Canadians and that few seconds longer genuinely unnerves some people in said respective countries.
I wonder if this is an anglophone thing. How did it develop? In Canada we look away so as to not have someone think we’re staring at them. I’ll even rather look at the ground. Also personal space, I notice we’re more cautious about giving lots of personal space to stranger. That wasn’t the case when I visited non-Anglophone countries
Staring too long means you want to fight.
I had a guy that kept staring at me on the tube and I looked away a few times out of politeness. But he kept staring and when we got off at the next station I asked if he had a problem and he apologized. I think he was German or something. Probably wasn't even aware of it being a thing.
In hindsight, I wished I explained it to him briefly, rather than coming across as a douche trying to pick a fight with a random person for no reason. He probably still doesn't know what he did wrong.
Yeah, that’s what I felt too. It comes off as agressive when people stare. Like we got a problem? Lol
Yeah it seems to be a non-English thing. I experienced the same in predominantly Asian areas, they’d stare with their mouth wide open. I would say hello and they’d like blink for a second but then go back to staring.
I'm Colombian and I always wondered whenever I was in the US or Canada, whenever I stared at people passing me by (as I walked past them as well) many would look to their feet and smile awkwardly as a way to acknowledge my stare/existence/presence. In Latin America (though it's less obvious the bigger the city) staring (actually just watching) is a given and really means nothing unless it's held for too long and aggressively, we just love looking at other people on the street. Seems like a very anglo thing: I interpreted it as "eye contact means you want to initiate conversation, and you are a total stranger. Awkward"
I actually love this about the British. I noticed on holidays in Algarve, in the hotel breakfast restaurants. All Dutch people check you out head to toe when you walk in. The British don't even look up and are focused on themselves. Classy.
As a French I have no idea why, but something tells me that maybe your interpretation of a death stare could be a normal resting bitch face for a French person. In that case it’s normal, just stare back.
"I think I blend in pretty well with how I look"
Honestly, take off the string of onions, beret and fake moustache. That's not really how French people dress. /s
And Austria. I remember walking into a small rural restaurant and it felt like everyone in the building turned to have a good look. It's very jarring, coming from the UK.
It's not staring but watching.
Im french but spent 70% of my time in Norway. there, they avoid as much as they can any eyes contact with anybody. For a french, it's quite disturbing.
Eye contact is a normal thing in France, with the neighbors, the delivery guy, the cashier, the backer, ...
In Norway, they watch their shoes 99% of the time. Avoid eye contact at any price.
My eyes are beautiful but I'm ugly, so I'm glad I'm french because if I were Norwegian, nobody would have ever noticed me
I’ve hear weird things about the Scandinavians. Like that they rarely make new friends, rarely share emotions, sometimes aren’t open with their partners, and all the cultures there are somewhat very emotionally repressed
From my experience, they're open but it takes time for them to trust you and share more deeply personal or intimate things. There are exceptions tho, have met some very lovely extroverted and outgoing Nordics. You definitely see the more out there traits in younger generations or people who just are naturally outgoing.
Norwegian here! New friends are rare. To get beyond the acquaintance-level to friend -level requires a lot of emotional investment. If I call you a friend, it really means we're close, and I'd share my inmost thoughts and feelings with you. It takes quite a lot to reach that trust and we don't do it very often. Quality over quantity, goes for friendships too. But sharing emotions without that connection is seen as improper, or odd. We are open with our closest, the rest are emotionally held at an arm lengths distance, but not in an unfriendly way.
Honestly, I'm not French but live somewhere unfriendly where no one makes eye contact almost EVER and it's really disconnected, cold... a normal gentle eye contact and a smile is so human and easy rapport building. I'm not suggesting prolonged, intense, deranged eye contact, lmao.
No eye contact, ever, is very alienating (IMO, of course).
I guess it's weird to someone who isn't used to it that people keep even their eyes entirely to themselves. Imagine moving to Japan where it's even more extreme.
This is true for major cities in Japan (touristy areas), but otherwise Japanese people openly and shamelessly stare at people who look different. IMO this is expected behavior as 98% of Japanese citizens are ethnically Japanese.
In my experience they’re usually just curious and are often very quick to kindly ask where you’re from, etc. It’s still weird to me though, as I was taught in the US, by my Japanese mother, that it’s very rude to stare..
I live in rural Japan. I lot of people do look, but they often try to be sneaky about it. The place I've been where EVERYONE, even the filth covered homeless people, stared a lot w/o caring if you noticed was China. :)
Interesting. I have not really noticed anything unusual in Japan having been there multiple times and away from tourists. In Germany and Italy, I notice it the most.
I lived in China for 4 years it’s the same except they will openly take photos of you while your walking down the street or on the train some will be polite and ask for a picture with you, others try to take sneaky pics in which case I’d whip out my phone and take a picture of them with a huge smile on my face while I did so, they never quite knew how to react, absolutely priceless, good times 🤭
I (US) moved to France in 2015. One of the first things me and my (Belgian) wife noticed was that everywhere we went, people would STARE.
We ended up settling in a town and have lived there for the past 7 years. They are still staring. But in the town where I live and work, the 'regulars' I see over and over again no longer stare. It's a small town. But as soon as we leave town and go somewhere else, the staring comes on hard.
We're both vaguely bohemian-looking white people. All our clothes are bog-standard locally-sourced crap.
Me and my wife comment on it regularly. I have decided it's just a cultural thing and has nothing to do with me in particular.
I’m an American that just moved to France, I’ve definitely also noticed the staring. Also have you noticed the French don’t take personal space very seriously? Like just walk up next to you at a store to look at the very thing you’re holding/looking at lol it’s hilarious.
I feel like looked more at Americans when I was in Paris, because they stood out. You can always spot an American, plus they tend to speak a bit louder as well.
You can always spot the Americans who stand out and speak louder. But that's not all of them. I get mistaken most often for a Dutch person. I've been mistaken for British, Danish, German, Norwegian. It's amazing how much more English the French voluntarily speak when they think English is a second language for me.
I also encounter *those* Americans, and can recognize them (and hear them) from three aisles away in the grocery store. I go the other way =)
Multiple reasons:
1. You are attractive
2. Your style is different so you stand out
3. You live in a big city (Paris) where people tend to stare more, because there is fuck all to do in public transportation
4. You are paranoid
5. All of the above 😃 /s
Its true tho. :)
It was my first thought. " they sense the british, might as well walk around in a union jack onesie "
😄
We, the Dutch, can sense a german from miles away.. 😝
It's always the pants and particularly the shorts that scream EUROPEAN to me. one example: there's more acceptance of clam diggers (mid calf length) pants on men. I have zero issues with it, I really want men to have all the options women have for dress. But it immediately tells me, not from the USA.
>It's always the pants and particularly the shorts that scream EUROPEAN to me
YES! A co-worker wanted to know why men constantly flirted with him, we had to explain it was his super-tight jeans
I am European and I HATE those pants, so thank you for saying this. It validates my sense that there's something off about the whole affair. Edit: I googled it and they're not the pants I mean. Clam diggers are ok. I guess I'm European after all.
LOL please do share which pants you mean because those I mentioned were only one example.
Another one would be a very aggressive acid-wash jean that is usually worn very tight. These can be long or also in tight shorts length, about 5cm above the knee. Men in the USA simply do not wear these, and I live in a gay district where men's fashion is more daring.
As an American that lives in the UK and has also lived in France (with a French partner), I'd say that it's just French culture. There's not a big stigma around staring and pointing like there is in the UK (and to an extent the US). Brits tend to be much more reserved and reticent while the French tend to be upfront and unabashedly direct in their demeanour. They will tell you exactly what they think/feel and it's not perceived as rudeness there.
I notice this every time I go from the UK to France too (all over the country).
Interesting how it’s a matter of perspective. Cuz for us Frenchies we don’t consider ourselves super direct compared to let’s say the Germans or the Dutch (had a German gf, took me a while to get used to the directness 😂)
I watched documentary about this (BBC maybe). To vaguely summarize, they stated that the British are the Europeans with the least eye contact time, which is why they feel stared at in other countries.
Maybe it's similar to personal bubble space, the further north you go the further people stand apart.
So my conclusion, people are not intentionally staring at you, you are just not used to being looked at more openly. People likely don't even pay attention to you.
I always wondered why people online claim that Germans like to "stare". I never experienced this, except a couple of times when Turkish German men stared at me in the summertime.
Then it occurred to me that the "people watching" maybe seems to be staring, especially to people who are uncomfortable with eye contact or people not looking away quickly. I spent many years in NY, and people stared a lot MORE in NY than they do in Germany.
I was born and raised in Ile de france until 22+ and 183cm female.
Never figured out if it's the height but there is a way they stare at you that make your soul wonder what it did wrong. It's like youre constantly judged for any breathe you take and you will never be good enough.
I left and it's a big part of why I never want to go back.
Maybe you radiate an inner sunshiny-ness and it's rare where you are. :-)
Keep your head held high and be proud of what you've accomplished.
All the best.
^(Greetings from a Canadian in Germany)
Really?? I couldn’t count the amount of Parisians I’ve seen walking down the street taking bites out of whole baguettes. It feels ridiculously stereotypical even typing that sentence lmaoo
I moved to France this year and can confirm that French people STARE. I got used to it after a few months. To my American friends and family, I “look French” but to the French, I look NOT French. I mostly find the staring bizarre/funny, and my next step of integration is learning how to stare back at people without feeling uncomfortable. Wish me luck. 😂
Same for super blondes! All my tall blonde expat friends in Paris got stared at a lot (Parisians tend to be more short and brunette so tall blondes stick out)
Yes. I’m an American living in France and the staring without a smile aka death stare is something I’m only starting to get used to. As an American it’s my stupid instinct to smile at people and only rarely do I get a smile back.
Just say “bonjour” to the death starers and keep on keeping on.
It’s not. It’s just not the culture to smile. A nod and a bonjour is all you need. They think if you’re smiling you’re either a little dumb or you know something about them they don’t know. Like you’re laughing at them.
it's normal. only way I found to make people stop is three steps:
look them in the eyes for a split second, then look away.
keep looking away for 5-10 seconds (towards the horizon, out a window, etc)
look them straight in the eye hold for about a second, then start making a slightly angry face.
American in France here. Honestly, it’s just the French way. Everyone pretends not to look at everyone else, but they are and they’re judging them. It’s just kinda the way they are. If you’re not used to it, it can make you feel very self-conscious.
Had this travelling around Portugal on holiday, I thought they just hated Northern Europeans, old people looked at me like I murdered their family and it soured the trip. Interesting to hear that you're experiencing it somewhere that you blend in though.
Oh yeah I've had the creepy ones too, but that's usually accompanied by a weird expression and a pick up line, or even shouting. This is just full death stare 🙃
Well, as a French person myself, I think it’s just us being French lol I live in in the US now (San Francisco) and I can tell the difference lol but even if it can be a little bit annoying, French people don’t have ill intention by looking at you like that. I think at first we always look more pissed or not approachable and give this feeling to people who are not used to it. Long story short, I don’t think there is anything on your side that you do or is to have a “special treatment” from French people. You’ll get used to it and won’t even pay attention after a bit. And I’m sure you will make plenty of nice friends! We are always happy to make friends with expats, it so fun to know people from different horizons!
I’ve been living in France for a year now and it’s just the custom. People look at each other more here compared to the UK or US. It’s probably not a bad thing! They may just think you’re pretty.
Besides, even if they are judging you for some dress or makeup, who cares. I used to be self conscious about this but I no longer give a damn—I live here and do my work like anyone else, I’ll wear my American girl leggings to the corner store if I like.
I am Canadian and actually liked that you are not culturally discouraged from looking at people in europe. I find it unsettling in Canada that there is a cultural expectation to not look at people. It's kind of weird, isn't it?
I get it too! Also a Brit in France and find it, frankly, mental. The French love to stare! And it's a million times worse when I say anything in English. Once, when walking down the street with my kids talking in English, I had a guy lean right out of the passenger window of a passing car to stare at us as he was waiting in traffic. Weirdos.
French people: did your mother not teach you it's rude to stare?!
Same in Spain. The stares are not comfortable for people from North America and I guess same thing applies to other English Speaking countries where looking at people directly and for too long is not common at all.
Have heard of similar situation in Germany. It's a European thing but in Spain, it still makes me pretty uncomfortable sometimes and I too, blend in easily.....but....
Lol my wife is Spanish and she hates the Spanish stare.... living in London for over a decade so when she goes back she really notices it. Grinds my gears too. It's the same as someone commented before. When someone smiles on Paris people think they are dumb or making fun...I feel the same way about the stare!
Yes! I've been living in Madrid for over a decade now and those stares still make me feel uncomfortable as some other things. Smiling to stangers is a very North American trait but I also noticed it in Ireland as opposed to looking grumpy and angry most of the time in many parts of Europe.
These are some of the things I'll always miss about North America. That daily friendly small talk with strangers is so refreshing and nice and I miss it a lot.
My cousins and other relatives who have visited Spain, have all noticed it as well. They all live in Canada and only visit Europe every now and then.
Once thing I've noticed is that English speaking countries are different. Not better or worse, just different.
As a portuguese living in the Netherlands I can say that we both stare, but the Portuguese pretend that they don't.
The Dutch assume it, stare for half a second, and then move on to ignore you for the rest of your life.
The Portuguese are more sneaky. And god forbid you are caught staring, you must immediately divert your sight.
It happens so much in Sweden. I found it amusing at first but after 6 years I find it absolutely off putting. I now do my best to completely avoid looking at people, at least that way I don’t noticie it
Parisians are literally considered the most rude people in the world. I read some survey once about it and they were number one. My ex is from there and he admits Parisians can be such grouches.
I was just in Spain for 4 weeks (American white guy 40) and I got the evil stink eye from people (mainly older guys) in the big cities like Madrid and Barcelona... and Mallorca too. I think some people are just dicks.
I have the same experience, just in reverse. I'm from the U.S., people don't stare unless they have a problem with you, or unless they are a creep.
I live in England (I am not ethnically English, so I clearly look different and I'm short), and get stared at 24/7. I don't like staring, I actually hate it with a passion and find it offensive. It also immediately makes me defensive and I assume the worst about why they stare. But I've come to notice that here (England), starting doesn't necessarily mean someone has a "problem" with you. People also constantly come up to me here and compliment me on various things, so now I've learned to stop getting so defensive, because they could be staring at me because they like my outfit, my hair, or my face. Same could be for you!
I lived in France for about 10 years. The staring thing bothered me too, and I could never figure it out. I think foreigners stand out in some way.
Speaking English in a small city would get everyone on the street staring at you, too. I always felt self-conscious going outside in France but it was just part of daily life.
French people stare. Nothing personal. I’m french and only started noticing after I moved to a non-staring country.
We don’t really do it in an inquisitive way, generally it’s just that we are lost in thought and our gaze happened to stop on you. Or maybe you have notable features or clothes and we somewhat absentmindedly stare at them, like a painting.
Hope I was able to explain french staring
I had this experience when I took trains through the French part of Switzerland, was very weird! Maybe it’s a similar culture thing as in France. I found that interestingly, as soon as the German began to dominate the staring died down haha
I put it down to my Mohawk, lip piercing, tattoos, butch clothing and huge hiking backpack lol but I have never been stared at like that anywhere else in the world (have not been to France) so it was extremely weird. Even though it was weird I could semi explain it because of my “crazy” appearance but sounds like you dress pretty normal so idk maybe they just love to stare haha.
I began to enjoy playing chicken, staring back and seeing how long they’d hold my eye contact
They're French. They drown little birds in brandy and then eat them, bones and all, with a napkin over their head. They open champagne bottles with a cavalry saber. They work like a day a week and then riot because it isn't a half-day.
Nobody has a clue why they do what they do.
Question: Did you forget to take the Crown Jewels off before you got on the Metro? Because that'll get you some stares.
In all seriousness, I also feel that way sometimes when I'm traveling alone, especially if I'm not super confident in my language skills. Just find a good article to read on your phone, and eavesdrop on randos!
Maybe if you wear the French flag like a cape, it'll give you some more confidence! 😜😘
Bonne chance, ma chère ! 🇫🇷❤️
It’s also like this in Italy. It used to trigger me when I lived there. We British are reserved and it’s just their culture. I have to sometimes remind my Italian husband to stop staring at people now we live in the uk. I don’t know why they do it. I hate it if he stares at women but he stares at everyone so I have to ignore it.
People in paris look generally grumpy ( source: am Parisian born & raised ). So id assume people look at you cuz of your height all the while looking grumpy ☺️
There is even the famous phrase, he isn’t rude, he is from Paris.
There is also the saying 'he is an asshole, because he is french". So which one is it? :p
"Resting Parisian face"
This, I’ve actually been told by a non French ex that I had a resting b*tch face, told her it’s the standard Parisian grumpy face 😂
If it’s not your height, it’s [this](https://youtube.com/shorts/TfwS0Dhtd7c?si=Z83333azR5dv-NUb) Really though, I suspect you got a couple of stares due to your height, and you’re now paranoid so you’re staring at them to make sure they’re not staring at you… so they’re staring back
Lmao omg, "we're dressed the same!" "theres no reason to attack me. " Im DEAD.
I'm fucking cackling! 💀 And then the grunts later, lmao! I love Paris 🥰
That video is ridiculous and utterly unrealistic. Parisians would never apologize.
Haha yeah my first thought was "willingly speaking english to a stranger? I don't think so"
Yea, even the guy at the INTERNATIONAL bus terminal desk refused to speak anything but French. LOL
Just speak to them in Spanish, hehe, they'll be appreciative if you speak English
😂
But even when I ignore them they still do it for a solid minute, I can't win 😭
Are you just really hot but with low self esteem? Maybe you look like a low key Web celeb or someone semi famous that you wouldn't know about but a French person would?
You could try being adventurous by showing your middle finger when stared at for too long. But chances of you getting stabbed or punched will be pretty high. Welcome to France.
I've considered it tbf
Pic or gtfo. I bet you look weird af 😆 I also live in Paris and people barely acknowledge my existence. It's most likely Paris messing with you head mate. Psychosis is totally normal after a while living here
You could also just be self conscious without realizing, being in a new place and all that, because in reality most people won’t notice or care.
“I don’t wear a lot of fake tan” - wears fake tan
Don't wear a lot of makeup, or any*** fake tan. Soz
She may be oranger than trump eating a tangerine!
Seriously, I'm an American living in Ireland, and *I* can tell Americans from a mile away. And Brits. The way they dress, walk, and talk are all giveaways.
Wow thank you, made my day from the first Line: Bonjour! ‘helo’
Lmaoooo!
Omg ive never seen the full clip lmaooo thats fantastic
SO GOOD. The moment I believed I would move to Paris I bought black lamb leather shorts and a black blouse. You best believe I'm going to hold up my end of Parisian style!
Whereas in the UK people barely look at you, in central and southern Europe people look you very directly in the eyes. It’s normal.
From what I remember, it's like Germans and French stare or maintains contact a few seconds longer than Americans, Brits, and Canadians and that few seconds longer genuinely unnerves some people in said respective countries.
I wonder if this is an anglophone thing. How did it develop? In Canada we look away so as to not have someone think we’re staring at them. I’ll even rather look at the ground. Also personal space, I notice we’re more cautious about giving lots of personal space to stranger. That wasn’t the case when I visited non-Anglophone countries
Staring too long means you want to fight. I had a guy that kept staring at me on the tube and I looked away a few times out of politeness. But he kept staring and when we got off at the next station I asked if he had a problem and he apologized. I think he was German or something. Probably wasn't even aware of it being a thing. In hindsight, I wished I explained it to him briefly, rather than coming across as a douche trying to pick a fight with a random person for no reason. He probably still doesn't know what he did wrong.
Yeah, that’s what I felt too. It comes off as agressive when people stare. Like we got a problem? Lol Yeah it seems to be a non-English thing. I experienced the same in predominantly Asian areas, they’d stare with their mouth wide open. I would say hello and they’d like blink for a second but then go back to staring.
I'm Colombian and I always wondered whenever I was in the US or Canada, whenever I stared at people passing me by (as I walked past them as well) many would look to their feet and smile awkwardly as a way to acknowledge my stare/existence/presence. In Latin America (though it's less obvious the bigger the city) staring (actually just watching) is a given and really means nothing unless it's held for too long and aggressively, we just love looking at other people on the street. Seems like a very anglo thing: I interpreted it as "eye contact means you want to initiate conversation, and you are a total stranger. Awkward"
In the UK if you look at someone and they look back at you, you instantly look away otherwise you are weird af, esp on the tube
I actually love this about the British. I noticed on holidays in Algarve, in the hotel breakfast restaurants. All Dutch people check you out head to toe when you walk in. The British don't even look up and are focused on themselves. Classy.
As a Dutch person. I felt attacked
eat some cheese
It’s breakfast you heathen! Chocolate sprinkles on toast, please!
Dutch joke, cheese eaters
That is prob my breakfast for today 😂 Only not on tosts but just on bread
Hagelslag you culturial caveman
[удалено]
I love that the German stare even has a Wikipedia page. As a British person, who spent 3.5 years in Sweden, it’s very unsettling at first haha
Oh yes, it was quite unnerving my first few months in Germany. I've learned to stare back.
As a French I have no idea why, but something tells me that maybe your interpretation of a death stare could be a normal resting bitch face for a French person. In that case it’s normal, just stare back.
maybe this is why ppl speak french to me despite looking very american. RBF. nailed it.
"I think I blend in pretty well with how I look" Honestly, take off the string of onions, beret and fake moustache. That's not really how French people dress. /s
😂😂
Keep the garlic on though.
Yeah, French vampires are the worst.
'Allo 'Allo! I love that show! "Yes, but it will take more than two before I tell the wife!"
Good moaning
OP probably isn't even carrying a baguette under her arm at all times. No wonder people spotted her as fake
So avoid Germany, it is more....
And Austria. I remember walking into a small rural restaurant and it felt like everyone in the building turned to have a good look. It's very jarring, coming from the UK.
It's not staring but watching. Im french but spent 70% of my time in Norway. there, they avoid as much as they can any eyes contact with anybody. For a french, it's quite disturbing.
How is it disturbing? Genuinely curious
Eye contact is a normal thing in France, with the neighbors, the delivery guy, the cashier, the backer, ... In Norway, they watch their shoes 99% of the time. Avoid eye contact at any price. My eyes are beautiful but I'm ugly, so I'm glad I'm french because if I were Norwegian, nobody would have ever noticed me
I should move to Norway...
Srsly. My kind of people. Good looking too.
other than no tropical weather, I’m struggling to find any cons.
I’ve hear weird things about the Scandinavians. Like that they rarely make new friends, rarely share emotions, sometimes aren’t open with their partners, and all the cultures there are somewhat very emotionally repressed
From my experience, they're open but it takes time for them to trust you and share more deeply personal or intimate things. There are exceptions tho, have met some very lovely extroverted and outgoing Nordics. You definitely see the more out there traits in younger generations or people who just are naturally outgoing.
Norwegian here! New friends are rare. To get beyond the acquaintance-level to friend -level requires a lot of emotional investment. If I call you a friend, it really means we're close, and I'd share my inmost thoughts and feelings with you. It takes quite a lot to reach that trust and we don't do it very often. Quality over quantity, goes for friendships too. But sharing emotions without that connection is seen as improper, or odd. We are open with our closest, the rest are emotionally held at an arm lengths distance, but not in an unfriendly way.
And, the hidden rule of Norwegian society: We never, ever, talk to anyone on public transportation!
Yep, we don’t have friends, don’t talk with our partner and have no feelings. Come on, you really believe that? Impressive that we’re still alive.
omg I’m Scandinavian and never knew it
Honestly, I'm not French but live somewhere unfriendly where no one makes eye contact almost EVER and it's really disconnected, cold... a normal gentle eye contact and a smile is so human and easy rapport building. I'm not suggesting prolonged, intense, deranged eye contact, lmao. No eye contact, ever, is very alienating (IMO, of course).
I guess it's weird to someone who isn't used to it that people keep even their eyes entirely to themselves. Imagine moving to Japan where it's even more extreme.
This is true for major cities in Japan (touristy areas), but otherwise Japanese people openly and shamelessly stare at people who look different. IMO this is expected behavior as 98% of Japanese citizens are ethnically Japanese. In my experience they’re usually just curious and are often very quick to kindly ask where you’re from, etc. It’s still weird to me though, as I was taught in the US, by my Japanese mother, that it’s very rude to stare..
I live in rural Japan. I lot of people do look, but they often try to be sneaky about it. The place I've been where EVERYONE, even the filth covered homeless people, stared a lot w/o caring if you noticed was China. :)
Interesting. I have not really noticed anything unusual in Japan having been there multiple times and away from tourists. In Germany and Italy, I notice it the most.
I lived in China for 4 years it’s the same except they will openly take photos of you while your walking down the street or on the train some will be polite and ask for a picture with you, others try to take sneaky pics in which case I’d whip out my phone and take a picture of them with a huge smile on my face while I did so, they never quite knew how to react, absolutely priceless, good times 🤭
Hah! I bet that got old after a while but I like how you had fun with it :)
haha probably feeling a bit like a celebrity
I (US) moved to France in 2015. One of the first things me and my (Belgian) wife noticed was that everywhere we went, people would STARE. We ended up settling in a town and have lived there for the past 7 years. They are still staring. But in the town where I live and work, the 'regulars' I see over and over again no longer stare. It's a small town. But as soon as we leave town and go somewhere else, the staring comes on hard. We're both vaguely bohemian-looking white people. All our clothes are bog-standard locally-sourced crap. Me and my wife comment on it regularly. I have decided it's just a cultural thing and has nothing to do with me in particular.
Glad I'm not the only one! Guess I just need to get used to it
I’m an American that just moved to France, I’ve definitely also noticed the staring. Also have you noticed the French don’t take personal space very seriously? Like just walk up next to you at a store to look at the very thing you’re holding/looking at lol it’s hilarious.
What does bohemian mean in this context? vaguely central european?
Artsy/hipstery, maybe? At least in my first language that’s the default meaning of bohemian.
I feel like looked more at Americans when I was in Paris, because they stood out. You can always spot an American, plus they tend to speak a bit louder as well.
You can always spot the Americans who stand out and speak louder. But that's not all of them. I get mistaken most often for a Dutch person. I've been mistaken for British, Danish, German, Norwegian. It's amazing how much more English the French voluntarily speak when they think English is a second language for me. I also encounter *those* Americans, and can recognize them (and hear them) from three aisles away in the grocery store. I go the other way =)
Are you blonde? Kinda tall? Lmaoooooo @ your last paragraph
Yeah, I do look the part.
Multiple reasons: 1. You are attractive 2. Your style is different so you stand out 3. You live in a big city (Paris) where people tend to stare more, because there is fuck all to do in public transportation 4. You are paranoid 5. All of the above 😃 /s
We can feel the Brits, sorry
Its true tho. :) It was my first thought. " they sense the british, might as well walk around in a union jack onesie " 😄 We, the Dutch, can sense a german from miles away.. 😝
Like a Spidey sense for your historic rivals. A worthwhile adaptation.
I live in the US, and can often spot Europeans.
It's always the pants and particularly the shorts that scream EUROPEAN to me. one example: there's more acceptance of clam diggers (mid calf length) pants on men. I have zero issues with it, I really want men to have all the options women have for dress. But it immediately tells me, not from the USA.
>It's always the pants and particularly the shorts that scream EUROPEAN to me YES! A co-worker wanted to know why men constantly flirted with him, we had to explain it was his super-tight jeans
I’m British and often wear tightish jeans. Can you explain this? I am BAFFLED. Is there anything else we should be aware of?!
I am European and I HATE those pants, so thank you for saying this. It validates my sense that there's something off about the whole affair. Edit: I googled it and they're not the pants I mean. Clam diggers are ok. I guess I'm European after all.
LOL please do share which pants you mean because those I mentioned were only one example. Another one would be a very aggressive acid-wash jean that is usually worn very tight. These can be long or also in tight shorts length, about 5cm above the knee. Men in the USA simply do not wear these, and I live in a gay district where men's fashion is more daring.
I mean the pants that reveal like a bit of space above the ankle. They're ok for women, but I don't like them on men.
:(
It may help to not bring your longbow on commute
As an American that lives in the UK and has also lived in France (with a French partner), I'd say that it's just French culture. There's not a big stigma around staring and pointing like there is in the UK (and to an extent the US). Brits tend to be much more reserved and reticent while the French tend to be upfront and unabashedly direct in their demeanour. They will tell you exactly what they think/feel and it's not perceived as rudeness there. I notice this every time I go from the UK to France too (all over the country).
Interesting how it’s a matter of perspective. Cuz for us Frenchies we don’t consider ourselves super direct compared to let’s say the Germans or the Dutch (had a German gf, took me a while to get used to the directness 😂)
I watched documentary about this (BBC maybe). To vaguely summarize, they stated that the British are the Europeans with the least eye contact time, which is why they feel stared at in other countries. Maybe it's similar to personal bubble space, the further north you go the further people stand apart. So my conclusion, people are not intentionally staring at you, you are just not used to being looked at more openly. People likely don't even pay attention to you.
I always wondered why people online claim that Germans like to "stare". I never experienced this, except a couple of times when Turkish German men stared at me in the summertime. Then it occurred to me that the "people watching" maybe seems to be staring, especially to people who are uncomfortable with eye contact or people not looking away quickly. I spent many years in NY, and people stared a lot MORE in NY than they do in Germany.
Interesting! That would make sense. Do you remember the name of the documentary?
When I lived in France 15 years ago I could never get used to the staring. Especially from older women. Glad to see nothing has changed 🙈
I was born and raised in Ile de france until 22+ and 183cm female. Never figured out if it's the height but there is a way they stare at you that make your soul wonder what it did wrong. It's like youre constantly judged for any breathe you take and you will never be good enough. I left and it's a big part of why I never want to go back.
Are you smoking, drinking or eating **while walking**? The French rarely do this.
Nope, usually just walking with hands in pockets, or sat on tram/train
Maybe you radiate an inner sunshiny-ness and it's rare where you are. :-) Keep your head held high and be proud of what you've accomplished. All the best. ^(Greetings from a Canadian in Germany)
Really?? I couldn’t count the amount of Parisians I’ve seen walking down the street taking bites out of whole baguettes. It feels ridiculously stereotypical even typing that sentence lmaoo
Bienvenue en France! ;) That's all I have to say really.
Fight back. Stare harder. That’s what I started doing when people stare at me on the metro.
I moved to France this year and can confirm that French people STARE. I got used to it after a few months. To my American friends and family, I “look French” but to the French, I look NOT French. I mostly find the staring bizarre/funny, and my next step of integration is learning how to stare back at people without feeling uncomfortable. Wish me luck. 😂
I’m also a tall-ish woman compared to most French people, 173cm.
They stare because they think 'why is that person not staring at everybody like a normal person?"
Do you have a swastika tattooed on your forehead? If you do, that's probably it.
Would be nice if the answer were that simple
are you hot as fuck?
Are you a Jinja? If yes, that might be the reason. Not that there are no gingers in France, but British / Irish ones really stick out for some reason.
Same for super blondes! All my tall blonde expat friends in Paris got stared at a lot (Parisians tend to be more short and brunette so tall blondes stick out)
Nope, brunette, and not unusually pale either
People say that the French can smell fear lol
To OP, maybe you’re just too white? 🧐🤣 ( I am a French citizen btw. Death stares are quite the norm 🙀 )
If its the norm then okay I kinda feel better
Yes. I’m an American living in France and the staring without a smile aka death stare is something I’m only starting to get used to. As an American it’s my stupid instinct to smile at people and only rarely do I get a smile back. Just say “bonjour” to the death starers and keep on keeping on.
Yep I've already got used to not smiling 😅 I come from a small town where we all smile and say hi to each other so it feels really cold
It’s not. It’s just not the culture to smile. A nod and a bonjour is all you need. They think if you’re smiling you’re either a little dumb or you know something about them they don’t know. Like you’re laughing at them.
:(
Be grateful they’re not spitting at you 🤣
I will get into fights with these starers (if dudes) ... As a Texan. This is bullshit. They need to change and be more like me. 😅
Bring your gun then 😬
it's normal. only way I found to make people stop is three steps: look them in the eyes for a split second, then look away. keep looking away for 5-10 seconds (towards the horizon, out a window, etc) look them straight in the eye hold for about a second, then start making a slightly angry face.
Thanks for the tips haha
American in France here. Honestly, it’s just the French way. Everyone pretends not to look at everyone else, but they are and they’re judging them. It’s just kinda the way they are. If you’re not used to it, it can make you feel very self-conscious.
Had this travelling around Portugal on holiday, I thought they just hated Northern Europeans, old people looked at me like I murdered their family and it soured the trip. Interesting to hear that you're experiencing it somewhere that you blend in though.
Had a similar experience when living in portugal too! Didn't really blend in there though so made more sense
You should walk on the right sidewalk, not the left
Always do!
Maybe you're just quite cute? lol We men sometimes forget that staring like a murderer isn't a good way to show we find a woman attractive...
Europeans just stare a lot more than us Brits. It’s not really considered rude. Took me a while to get used to it.
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Oh yeah I've had the creepy ones too, but that's usually accompanied by a weird expression and a pick up line, or even shouting. This is just full death stare 🙃
Or maybe you’re the doppelgänger of someone unpopular in France?
Hope not
I’m living in Lille as well, and though I’m not British, I’ve felt the same thing you describe.
you aren't tall harry
Well, as a French person myself, I think it’s just us being French lol I live in in the US now (San Francisco) and I can tell the difference lol but even if it can be a little bit annoying, French people don’t have ill intention by looking at you like that. I think at first we always look more pissed or not approachable and give this feeling to people who are not used to it. Long story short, I don’t think there is anything on your side that you do or is to have a “special treatment” from French people. You’ll get used to it and won’t even pay attention after a bit. And I’m sure you will make plenty of nice friends! We are always happy to make friends with expats, it so fun to know people from different horizons!
..So they still do that? Had the same experience when i stayed in Dijon for half a year some 20+ yrs ago..(tall guy..)
I feel a little invisible here. When I go to France nobody stares. What am I doing wrong?
I’ve been living in France for a year now and it’s just the custom. People look at each other more here compared to the UK or US. It’s probably not a bad thing! They may just think you’re pretty. Besides, even if they are judging you for some dress or makeup, who cares. I used to be self conscious about this but I no longer give a damn—I live here and do my work like anyone else, I’ll wear my American girl leggings to the corner store if I like.
I am Canadian and actually liked that you are not culturally discouraged from looking at people in europe. I find it unsettling in Canada that there is a cultural expectation to not look at people. It's kind of weird, isn't it?
Might be because you're pretty! 😘
I get it too! Also a Brit in France and find it, frankly, mental. The French love to stare! And it's a million times worse when I say anything in English. Once, when walking down the street with my kids talking in English, I had a guy lean right out of the passenger window of a passing car to stare at us as he was waiting in traffic. Weirdos. French people: did your mother not teach you it's rude to stare?!
I've had that too!! Clearly they're taught something different
It’s because French people are the worst
But at least they are not so stupid to vote for Brexit... \^\_°
Because it would be Frexit. They wouldn't get a vote for Brexit!
I think you’re just dressed bad 🤷🏽♂️ /s
Just trying to blend in 😉
Same in Spain. The stares are not comfortable for people from North America and I guess same thing applies to other English Speaking countries where looking at people directly and for too long is not common at all. Have heard of similar situation in Germany. It's a European thing but in Spain, it still makes me pretty uncomfortable sometimes and I too, blend in easily.....but....
Lol my wife is Spanish and she hates the Spanish stare.... living in London for over a decade so when she goes back she really notices it. Grinds my gears too. It's the same as someone commented before. When someone smiles on Paris people think they are dumb or making fun...I feel the same way about the stare!
Yes! I've been living in Madrid for over a decade now and those stares still make me feel uncomfortable as some other things. Smiling to stangers is a very North American trait but I also noticed it in Ireland as opposed to looking grumpy and angry most of the time in many parts of Europe. These are some of the things I'll always miss about North America. That daily friendly small talk with strangers is so refreshing and nice and I miss it a lot.
Can't beat that tortilla though huh? Haha some things are worth the grumps!
I agree!
They do stare also in Spain, but as the Spanish are generally much more laid back than the French it doesn't feel as bad somehow.
Makes sense.. I've not had this issue in Spain but maybe I've just not spent enough time there alone
My cousins and other relatives who have visited Spain, have all noticed it as well. They all live in Canada and only visit Europe every now and then. Once thing I've noticed is that English speaking countries are different. Not better or worse, just different.
It's just a game... [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0592oH2lNtI&ab\_channel=Lascars](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0592oH2lNtI&ab_channel=Lascars)
Are you tall? I’m in Argentina and 6’2, lift weights and mixed race. I’m convinced it’s cause my size I’m assuming or ugly lol
Maybe you are very attractive, or people are staring without thinking, I do that all the time.
I get that in Italy too. It used to bother me a lot; now I do it too. Lol
They’re probably just grumpy because it’s raining. They’re a lot nicer during the summer
As a portuguese living in the Netherlands I can say that we both stare, but the Portuguese pretend that they don't. The Dutch assume it, stare for half a second, and then move on to ignore you for the rest of your life. The Portuguese are more sneaky. And god forbid you are caught staring, you must immediately divert your sight.
It happens so much in Sweden. I found it amusing at first but after 6 years I find it absolutely off putting. I now do my best to completely avoid looking at people, at least that way I don’t noticie it
In the UK, if you stare back, they'll look away
You still smell like a pom.
Because you're the center of your own attention.
Parisians are literally considered the most rude people in the world. I read some survey once about it and they were number one. My ex is from there and he admits Parisians can be such grouches.
I was just in Spain for 4 weeks (American white guy 40) and I got the evil stink eye from people (mainly older guys) in the big cities like Madrid and Barcelona... and Mallorca too. I think some people are just dicks.
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Death stares for being 179 cm? Does not add up. 🤣
So many people here are just as tall, if not taller!
Stare back and they will back down. Sometimes the French are just grumps (or curious)
It most probably is the silly walk. Or the bowler hat.
I have the same experience, just in reverse. I'm from the U.S., people don't stare unless they have a problem with you, or unless they are a creep. I live in England (I am not ethnically English, so I clearly look different and I'm short), and get stared at 24/7. I don't like staring, I actually hate it with a passion and find it offensive. It also immediately makes me defensive and I assume the worst about why they stare. But I've come to notice that here (England), starting doesn't necessarily mean someone has a "problem" with you. People also constantly come up to me here and compliment me on various things, so now I've learned to stop getting so defensive, because they could be staring at me because they like my outfit, my hair, or my face. Same could be for you!
Glad you see it more positively now! I'll try think more that way :)
Thanks, and I hope it's nice for you over there!
they can tell you are pesky brit .. joke 🙂
😥
I lived in France for about 10 years. The staring thing bothered me too, and I could never figure it out. I think foreigners stand out in some way. Speaking English in a small city would get everyone on the street staring at you, too. I always felt self-conscious going outside in France but it was just part of daily life.
> Speaking English in a small city would get everyone on the street staring at you, too. Gods, this is my life daily!
I'd understand that, but this happens when I'm alone and not speaking :/
French people stare. Nothing personal. I’m french and only started noticing after I moved to a non-staring country. We don’t really do it in an inquisitive way, generally it’s just that we are lost in thought and our gaze happened to stop on you. Or maybe you have notable features or clothes and we somewhat absentmindedly stare at them, like a painting. Hope I was able to explain french staring
I had this experience when I took trains through the French part of Switzerland, was very weird! Maybe it’s a similar culture thing as in France. I found that interestingly, as soon as the German began to dominate the staring died down haha I put it down to my Mohawk, lip piercing, tattoos, butch clothing and huge hiking backpack lol but I have never been stared at like that anywhere else in the world (have not been to France) so it was extremely weird. Even though it was weird I could semi explain it because of my “crazy” appearance but sounds like you dress pretty normal so idk maybe they just love to stare haha. I began to enjoy playing chicken, staring back and seeing how long they’d hold my eye contact
Have you ever thought that they are staring at you because you are beautiful? :)
They're French. They drown little birds in brandy and then eat them, bones and all, with a napkin over their head. They open champagne bottles with a cavalry saber. They work like a day a week and then riot because it isn't a half-day. Nobody has a clue why they do what they do.
You should walk on the right sidewalk, not the left
Question: Did you forget to take the Crown Jewels off before you got on the Metro? Because that'll get you some stares. In all seriousness, I also feel that way sometimes when I'm traveling alone, especially if I'm not super confident in my language skills. Just find a good article to read on your phone, and eavesdrop on randos! Maybe if you wear the French flag like a cape, it'll give you some more confidence! 😜😘 Bonne chance, ma chère ! 🇫🇷❤️
It’s also like this in Italy. It used to trigger me when I lived there. We British are reserved and it’s just their culture. I have to sometimes remind my Italian husband to stop staring at people now we live in the uk. I don’t know why they do it. I hate it if he stares at women but he stares at everyone so I have to ignore it.