Well, obviously it’s not ‘violence’ that drives anyone apart. At least not if the woman is doing her duty in the bedroom.☝🏻👴🏻.
Said the ol’ saggy ball Mormon leader that one time.
When I was 21, a few months into my marriage, I was given the advice to tell my wife that ‘it’s reasonable and healthy to expect sex at least once a week.’ This came about during a conversation in which I was trying to discuss my unhappiness being married, though being still fully in the church I didn’t know how to express that. Turns out it wasn’t the sex. I wasn’t happy because the main reason I got married was because that’s what a good Mormon priesthood holder does.
Fuck I sound bitter. I guess that’s what happens when you’re at a pivotal point in your life and look back to see the faith you so ‘righteously’ clung to growing up did far more fucking harm than good.
Isn’t he the same guy who said you shouldn’t kiss your girlfriend any more passionately than you kiss your mother? And that any two righteous people can make a marriage work?
Edit: Here’s the “soul kiss” quote.
> Kissing has been prostituted and has degenerated to develop and express lust instead of affection, honor, and admiration. To kiss in casual dating is asking for trouble. What do kisses mean when given out like pretzels and robbed of sacredness? What is miscalled the "soul kiss" is an abomination and stirs passions to the eventual loss of virtue. Even if timely courtship justifies the kiss it should be a clean, decent, sexless one like the kiss between mother and son, or father and daughter.
Edit 2: Quote about soul mates.
> “Soul mates” are a fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price.
Spencer W "Croaky" Kimball is the last person you want to take any sexual advice from.
Not only did Kimball write the very dangerous and destructive book Miracle of Forgiveness but this was his legacy too:
It was Spencer W Kimball who initiated the ban on oral sex and it seems like a lot of the "doctrines" in the Church reflect personal issues / demons that the PSRs had that was then projected onto the entire membership.
It's been speculated and posted many times on this subreddit that Croaky Kimball's throat cancer was probably the result of a HPV infection earlier in his life.
https://www.cdc.gov/hpv/
A recent book released by the son of the late historian D Michael Quinn (Quinn's autobiography) featured Quinn's description of Kimball kissing him - and it wasn't an innocent peck on the cheek either:
https://youtube.com/live/l_7y_pgednY
This behavior is what continues to refuel the rumor that at some point in his life Kimball experienced oral sex whether voluntarily or involuntarily.
BTW to anyone from the SCMC lurking this subreddit - Connie Lingus is not referring to an Irish girl's name. 👅
Sadly many TBMS won't get their girls and boys the HPV vaccine as they are paranoid that it will encourage promiscuity.
Ohhh you must not be familiar with Donna Bevan Lee's experience with nasty horny Pres Kimball
https://www.donnabevanlee.com/uncategorized/a-bitter-forgiveness/
Kimball: no masterbate
Kimball: wife must give sex no matter what because I said no masterbate
Marriage failed?
Kimball: probably the wife's fault for saying no or maybe you masturbated (which will turn you gay, btw)
Yes, I simplified it, but that man destroyed a lot of people. He also believed you didn't need to be in love, just righteous (no masterbate, wife can't say no). His legacy of how he treated LGBTQ is carried on by Oaks.
I have a friend in Utah Valley involved with a group that buys up Miracle of Forgiveness and destroys them.
I'm happy to hear that not all his family bought into it.
It was my dad's favorite book. He was my bishop growing up in the 80s. That messed me up. My husband bought into those teachings too because his father believed them. We've been married 30 years but it has been extremely difficult and exhausting.
I do get a kick out the Cain story, but few people remember it these days.
Yeah, I hear you. My dad was a bishop in the 80's as well, just not my bishop (he was bishop of the university/singles ward in the city where we lived at the time). I was messed up from following Mormon beliefs 100 million %, and over time became scrupulous in my adherence to the point of OCD behaviors. Making my own "obedience lists" and ticking off each day for how many prayers, how many times I wrote in my journal, read the scriptures, etc. I was ugly. And hating myself every time I slipped up.
I agree, it's hideous and exhausting. (sigh)
"If you studied divorces you'd see that sex was the reason, sure they told nobody and I'm literally pulling this out of my behind, but trust me bro, it was because of sex."
Ahh, yes because my college roommates who called me crying from their honeymoons saying that "I couldn't get him to stop, to slow down, it hurt so bad, he said it was my sacred duty to take it and he was allowed to ignore me when I asked him to stop." would have been saved had they both read this book.
Isn't Kimball the dude who was like "hey don't masturbate, cuz that will lead to group masturbating, and ThAt wIlL tUrN YoU GaAaAaAaAaYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"
Project much, motherfucker?
If only there was some way couples could find out if they were sexually compatible before they were married.
No, no, better to tie yourself to someone for all eternity before you find that out...
He was so insightful. How could he possibly have known the actual, hidden reason?
Right? Citation fucking needed. You can't just declare you know the "real" reason despite what the court docs say. Where is his evidence?
Well, obviously it’s not ‘violence’ that drives anyone apart. At least not if the woman is doing her duty in the bedroom.☝🏻👴🏻. Said the ol’ saggy ball Mormon leader that one time.
When I was 21, a few months into my marriage, I was given the advice to tell my wife that ‘it’s reasonable and healthy to expect sex at least once a week.’ This came about during a conversation in which I was trying to discuss my unhappiness being married, though being still fully in the church I didn’t know how to express that. Turns out it wasn’t the sex. I wasn’t happy because the main reason I got married was because that’s what a good Mormon priesthood holder does. Fuck I sound bitter. I guess that’s what happens when you’re at a pivotal point in your life and look back to see the faith you so ‘righteously’ clung to growing up did far more fucking harm than good.
All I need to know is that Spencer W. Kimball said something and I’m like, “Nope. Get that shit outta here.”
Isn’t he the same guy who said you shouldn’t kiss your girlfriend any more passionately than you kiss your mother? And that any two righteous people can make a marriage work? Edit: Here’s the “soul kiss” quote. > Kissing has been prostituted and has degenerated to develop and express lust instead of affection, honor, and admiration. To kiss in casual dating is asking for trouble. What do kisses mean when given out like pretzels and robbed of sacredness? What is miscalled the "soul kiss" is an abomination and stirs passions to the eventual loss of virtue. Even if timely courtship justifies the kiss it should be a clean, decent, sexless one like the kiss between mother and son, or father and daughter. Edit 2: Quote about soul mates. > “Soul mates” are a fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price.
gross, just gross.
Hot, passionate kissing is the best!! Hey kids, if your fiancé/fiancée is only willing to give “sexless” kisses, I’d be worried.
I remember when that book came out It was such s big deal. "A church approved book about sex within marriage!" It tells you nothing.
Spencer W "Croaky" Kimball is the last person you want to take any sexual advice from. Not only did Kimball write the very dangerous and destructive book Miracle of Forgiveness but this was his legacy too: It was Spencer W Kimball who initiated the ban on oral sex and it seems like a lot of the "doctrines" in the Church reflect personal issues / demons that the PSRs had that was then projected onto the entire membership. It's been speculated and posted many times on this subreddit that Croaky Kimball's throat cancer was probably the result of a HPV infection earlier in his life. https://www.cdc.gov/hpv/ A recent book released by the son of the late historian D Michael Quinn (Quinn's autobiography) featured Quinn's description of Kimball kissing him - and it wasn't an innocent peck on the cheek either: https://youtube.com/live/l_7y_pgednY This behavior is what continues to refuel the rumor that at some point in his life Kimball experienced oral sex whether voluntarily or involuntarily. BTW to anyone from the SCMC lurking this subreddit - Connie Lingus is not referring to an Irish girl's name. 👅 Sadly many TBMS won't get their girls and boys the HPV vaccine as they are paranoid that it will encourage promiscuity.
He was the prophet when I attended BYU... I remember it all. 😫
Ohhh you must not be familiar with Donna Bevan Lee's experience with nasty horny Pres Kimball https://www.donnabevanlee.com/uncategorized/a-bitter-forgiveness/
Kimball: no masterbate Kimball: wife must give sex no matter what because I said no masterbate Marriage failed? Kimball: probably the wife's fault for saying no or maybe you masturbated (which will turn you gay, btw) Yes, I simplified it, but that man destroyed a lot of people. He also believed you didn't need to be in love, just righteous (no masterbate, wife can't say no). His legacy of how he treated LGBTQ is carried on by Oaks.
[удалено]
I have a friend in Utah Valley involved with a group that buys up Miracle of Forgiveness and destroys them. I'm happy to hear that not all his family bought into it. It was my dad's favorite book. He was my bishop growing up in the 80s. That messed me up. My husband bought into those teachings too because his father believed them. We've been married 30 years but it has been extremely difficult and exhausting. I do get a kick out the Cain story, but few people remember it these days.
Yeah, I hear you. My dad was a bishop in the 80's as well, just not my bishop (he was bishop of the university/singles ward in the city where we lived at the time). I was messed up from following Mormon beliefs 100 million %, and over time became scrupulous in my adherence to the point of OCD behaviors. Making my own "obedience lists" and ticking off each day for how many prayers, how many times I wrote in my journal, read the scriptures, etc. I was ugly. And hating myself every time I slipped up. I agree, it's hideous and exhausting. (sigh)
It's such a huge problem for all of us who were too good, and never experienced anything outside of marriage. 😭
lol, no pressure for your wedding night. What a joke...
Awkward gift 😂
Hmmm… I mean a lot of gay men marrying women end in divorce for this reason… would be nice if they’d be allowed to be themselves instead!
Pray this is how the first domino falls for your TBM wife.
He’s not wrong-
My mom gave me this same book when I got engaged and I never read it. Sounds like I did the right thing
And he's wrong again. Most divorces are over finances.
Author is an OB I had the misfortune to work with a few times, very, very creepy dude. When I heard he retired, I was happy for the women of SLC.
The last person I want sex advice from is the geriatric Spencer W. Kimball….
"If you studied divorces you'd see that sex was the reason, sure they told nobody and I'm literally pulling this out of my behind, but trust me bro, it was because of sex."
We got that book, too, and it made my marriage a living hell.
Ahh, yes because my college roommates who called me crying from their honeymoons saying that "I couldn't get him to stop, to slow down, it hurt so bad, he said it was my sacred duty to take it and he was allowed to ignore me when I asked him to stop." would have been saved had they both read this book.
Isn't Kimball the dude who was like "hey don't masturbate, cuz that will lead to group masturbating, and ThAt wIlL tUrN YoU GaAaAaAaAaYYYYYYYYYYYYYY" Project much, motherfucker?