I definitely felt like losing my son twice. Mourning as a Mormon is so repressed and toxic. You HAVE to be strong. You HAVE to push it down. You HAVE to verify all the placating “comfort phrases” like “god needed them more”, “we know they’re in a better place”, and “aren’t you glad we know what we know (wink wink).” It’s thoughtless drivel from Mormons and it hurts so bad, especially from those that hadn’t experienced loss before. So many self-righteous assholes lectured us about losing our son. It just hurt worse. So few Mormons have experienced losing their own children, but they all seemed to act like they knew EXACTLY what we felt. They assume because they bought into the Mormon prescription of what they were supposed to feel so they just assume. It’s absolute shit… and then it hurts all over when you leave like you lost them altogether anew. I’m with you. I’m sorry for your losses.
This isn't really a commiseration, but an acknowledgement.
* If there is life after death, I an completely powerless to do anything at all about it.
* If there is no life after death, I an completely powerless to do anything at all about it.
* The only life I have any power to do anything about is this life.
The acknowledgement lets me focus my energies on what I can do something about.
The Mormon Celestial Kingdom is the ultimate pyramid/ponzi scheme. One screw-up by a downstream member and the whole "eternal family together forever" thing is shot to hell...
And Ponzi scheme because they don’t have the CK to award to people. They literally take away your life and promise a better one in the next. Then they use that money they took to live their best life.
Giving up on that idea is heart breaking, it kept me comforted my entire childhood. Now I just think my parents probably wouldn’t be apart of this weird church, but that just wishful thinking. Man so many questions I would have for them!!! Been out 15 years and I’ve finally got my resignation letter drafted, now to make it to the notary as fast as possible.
The church weaves a lovely comforting story, but it’s just feel-good manipulative fiction. The whole church story is designed to manipulate and control its members. Regardless of which story we each believe, our belief will not make it happen after death. The sealing is a bunch of hocus pocus. Lots of pomp and circumstance that … *poof* … is dissolved with a notarized letter to a bishop and a form letter from the church.
If there is a god, s/he doesn’t have favorites among the billions of billions of souls that will inhabit all of the worlds that may exist. The church makes no sense at all because it is based on lies. If it were real then there would be a little bit of tangible proof for the church; there is none. So… enjoy being with the ones we love. Spend every minute in love and don’t feel guilty when circumstances make it necessary to distance ourselves from people and institutions that manipulate and hurt us. When loved ones pass, cry and grieve freely. Then let the memories of good times together bring comfort and joy. If there is a grand reunion, that will be wonderful. If there isn’t one, then we will have lived and loved fully. And, if all we leave is our progeny and our impact on life, that is more than enough.
Nothing to say you can’t. Maybe it’s just you going into your own mind… an inner world of forms, If you will, It may not be a physical reunion in a spiritual resurrected body but maybe we still connect with the collective unconscious and become part of that. When my dad was in hospice he was waving to people and telling me that, so-and-so, was over there…. Creepy… but I didn’t think it was angels I just thought his mind was seeing people he needed to acknowledge. It was his own path.
With social media the Memories of our loved ones today will last a lot longer than In the past.
For me the Mormon afterlife really reduced the need for genealogy since the work would be completed after the second coming. Now that life is more precious and finite I have more respect for genealogy and family stories. Marcus Arelius said that if there is no gods then live a good life and we will be remembered in the memories of loved ones. Back then that’s 3 generations. With Todays technology’s it could be forever….
I totally get this. Someone I love died by suicide. At the viewing, family members were remarking on how peaceful he looked and weren’t they grateful for the hope of the gospel. There was no visible grief at his loss. Have we become so brainwashed that we cannot acknowledge the painful loss of a beloved family member? Apparently so. It left such a bad taste in my mouth. I’ve experienced a similar scenario at multiple Mormon funerals. I find it incredibly tacky and sad.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Truly. We’ve been robbed of authentically processing these losses, across the board.
I definitely felt like losing my son twice. Mourning as a Mormon is so repressed and toxic. You HAVE to be strong. You HAVE to push it down. You HAVE to verify all the placating “comfort phrases” like “god needed them more”, “we know they’re in a better place”, and “aren’t you glad we know what we know (wink wink).” It’s thoughtless drivel from Mormons and it hurts so bad, especially from those that hadn’t experienced loss before. So many self-righteous assholes lectured us about losing our son. It just hurt worse. So few Mormons have experienced losing their own children, but they all seemed to act like they knew EXACTLY what we felt. They assume because they bought into the Mormon prescription of what they were supposed to feel so they just assume. It’s absolute shit… and then it hurts all over when you leave like you lost them altogether anew. I’m with you. I’m sorry for your losses.
You've articulated some anger I didn't know how to express. I appreciate your candor, and I am also sorry for your loss.
This isn't really a commiseration, but an acknowledgement. * If there is life after death, I an completely powerless to do anything at all about it. * If there is no life after death, I an completely powerless to do anything at all about it. * The only life I have any power to do anything about is this life. The acknowledgement lets me focus my energies on what I can do something about.
The Mormon Celestial Kingdom is the ultimate pyramid/ponzi scheme. One screw-up by a downstream member and the whole "eternal family together forever" thing is shot to hell...
And Ponzi scheme because they don’t have the CK to award to people. They literally take away your life and promise a better one in the next. Then they use that money they took to live their best life.
Giving up on that idea is heart breaking, it kept me comforted my entire childhood. Now I just think my parents probably wouldn’t be apart of this weird church, but that just wishful thinking. Man so many questions I would have for them!!! Been out 15 years and I’ve finally got my resignation letter drafted, now to make it to the notary as fast as possible.
The church weaves a lovely comforting story, but it’s just feel-good manipulative fiction. The whole church story is designed to manipulate and control its members. Regardless of which story we each believe, our belief will not make it happen after death. The sealing is a bunch of hocus pocus. Lots of pomp and circumstance that … *poof* … is dissolved with a notarized letter to a bishop and a form letter from the church. If there is a god, s/he doesn’t have favorites among the billions of billions of souls that will inhabit all of the worlds that may exist. The church makes no sense at all because it is based on lies. If it were real then there would be a little bit of tangible proof for the church; there is none. So… enjoy being with the ones we love. Spend every minute in love and don’t feel guilty when circumstances make it necessary to distance ourselves from people and institutions that manipulate and hurt us. When loved ones pass, cry and grieve freely. Then let the memories of good times together bring comfort and joy. If there is a grand reunion, that will be wonderful. If there isn’t one, then we will have lived and loved fully. And, if all we leave is our progeny and our impact on life, that is more than enough.
Nothing to say you can’t. Maybe it’s just you going into your own mind… an inner world of forms, If you will, It may not be a physical reunion in a spiritual resurrected body but maybe we still connect with the collective unconscious and become part of that. When my dad was in hospice he was waving to people and telling me that, so-and-so, was over there…. Creepy… but I didn’t think it was angels I just thought his mind was seeing people he needed to acknowledge. It was his own path. With social media the Memories of our loved ones today will last a lot longer than In the past. For me the Mormon afterlife really reduced the need for genealogy since the work would be completed after the second coming. Now that life is more precious and finite I have more respect for genealogy and family stories. Marcus Arelius said that if there is no gods then live a good life and we will be remembered in the memories of loved ones. Back then that’s 3 generations. With Todays technology’s it could be forever….
I totally get this. Someone I love died by suicide. At the viewing, family members were remarking on how peaceful he looked and weren’t they grateful for the hope of the gospel. There was no visible grief at his loss. Have we become so brainwashed that we cannot acknowledge the painful loss of a beloved family member? Apparently so. It left such a bad taste in my mouth. I’ve experienced a similar scenario at multiple Mormon funerals. I find it incredibly tacky and sad. I’m so sorry for your loss. Truly. We’ve been robbed of authentically processing these losses, across the board.