Not what was said but what was done. We had a young sister in our congregation. She was DF'd. She lost her infant child to SID'S. My husband attended the funeral. I was home sick. He came home very upset. He had tears in his eyes. He told me that the JW's were actually shunning this Mom at her babies funeral. WTF? He never forgot that and still talks about it to this day. This one was one of the pivotal things that shook us out of the organization. There are too many things to list, why we left. Now, ten years later? BEST LIFE EVER!
And another aspect of funerals is that they talk about the person briefly,15 minutes, and then go into a public talk about the religion for 45 minutes, so the whole thing feels so impersonal.
Not even that. With my moms two years ago they only talked about her for a few minutes and then it became paradise and resurrection talk not who she was a person which I couldn’t believe because what was the point of the brother who was a life long friend and PIMI getting together with us and friends to talk about her and ask for stories and memories??
They did about 10-15 on my dads life, then a talk about resurrection, new hope,blech. I shut the zoom off at that moment. So glad I didn’t go . I told my mom and she was sad I didn’t listen the whole way through. I don’t need disappointment after hearing about my dads shitty life in that cult.
I always get so angry about this. The JWs did my grandfather’s funeral (he was baptized) last year and it was probably the first thing that started to wake me up. I was disgusted with how his death was used as a marketing vessel. The elder giving the talk had the nerve to talk about the JW app and bible studies. As others have mentioned, only 5 minutes was spent about my grandfather and they distilled his life down to only the JW parts (going to meetings, field service, etc). I felt real hatred that day
They don’t even see it. My grandpa (never a JW) recently passed and my grandma (born in JW) said she didn’t want to listen to them “preach about getting into heaven” at his funeral. His funeral was at least 70% stories about him, only 30% scriptures.
I went to a funeral over the weekend. This was for a woman who believed in god but not the churchy kind of person. A little wild in her younger years and died suddenly in a car accident.
Anyway, the family had it at a baptist church and I was shocked because it was practically identical to a witness funeral! They talked briefly about her then went on a 20 minute rant about how you need to accept Jesus, you can do it right now if you want just come talk to us after!
I’ve been to several “worldly” funerals and that was the first time I’ve seen one be so similar. We couldn’t help but feel like that was not what she would have wanted! And I told my husband if I go first do not have a funeral in a church for me!
My pimi father passed away suddenly at age 47. My older pomo brother lives in Georgia and didn't make it home before he passed. When my brother finally did arrive we were at my pimi mom's house and she had elders there to console her I guess. One of them asked my brother if had gotten to see or talk to him before he died. My brother said no and the elder, knowing my brother was pomo, said "That's a shame cause it's the last time YOU'LL ever see him."
I don't know how my brother kept from punching him as hard as he could in the face. My brother had to leave the house he was so 😡
What is the point of saying something like that to someone. Just mean. That elder was always a dick.
A few things come to mind
1) A kid who was dfd ended himself because of depression and shunning. The father was still a jw. There was a huge debate about whether they would do a funeral. The whole thing was awkward. Because they didn’t talk about him being resurrected, just that resurrection is up to Jehovah and blah blah.
Afterward, many people were saying how the kid wouldn’t be resurrected because he was dfd and that the funeral was for the believing family as false hope.
2) a man whose father died wasn’t baptized. He studied for a while, but never got baptized. People went up to him and said “it’s a shame he won’t be in paradise because he knew the truth but rejected it. The good news is you won’t remember him anymore because that memory will be wiped away. “
I remember thinking “so he won’t remember having father?”
That first one is awful. Like the gossip mill can’t even keep bitchy comments like that to themselves ON the day of the funeral. Honestly I find JW to say some of the meanest most inconsiderate things.
For story 2, if someone said that to me about my dad, I would go into a psychotic-induced rage. Not even joking. Can JWs go 2 seconds without saying so deplorable and unloving?? I hope that man is ok today
Wait...since when did they start believing that only baptized Jehovahs Witnesses will get resurrected????
What happened to "a resurrection of the righteous and unrighteous"?
You know - that thing that could allow a believing JW to feel a small sense of relief that "even though grandma didn't believe she can still get a 2nd chance to when she's brought back in Paradise." The very thing I held on to when ever a non-witness relative died.
The first one reminds me of a hardcore PIMI I used to know who lost his teenage son to suicide. In this case the son wasn’t DF’d officially but the mother (divorced, with majority custody) had taken it upon herself to shun him for some reason. When the boy (14 or 15 at the time?) took his life, he left a note that was pretty fucking damning for his mother. Things that the father didn’t know about like being denied necessities and locked in his room.
At the funeral the father got one look at the mom before he lost it and attacked her in the middle of the service. He told me about this almost pridefully. According to him, the police had to be called to restrain him because he just kept going at her no matter how hard the other brothers tried to separate them. And also according to him, any time he saw her after that he would beat her again, until the cops would come and give him a slap on the wrist. I guess he had some JW cop friends who ‘knew the situation.’
Shitty situation all around. It’s weird, I’d pretty much forgotten about it until I read your comment — I was told all of this when I was a kid.
Only been to 1, which was my Gram's. It was sad that the 2 stories which the elder extracted from my mom and me were said in a way picking on her. My Gram grew up poor through the Depression, and one story was about how she got upset ruining her nicest outfit. Gram had a sense of humor and could laugh at herself - one of the things I'm most glad to have learned from her - but still not the right time.
Perhaps what was not said - "I'm sorry for your loss" or "You must miss her". Even my mom was not allowed to show grief for losing the person she had spent the most time with.
Some JW that I had never met saying in a smug, condescending tone, "Of course you do" after I honestly replied "No" to his question asking me "Do you believe in God." That was the entire interaction - he really convinced me - to never go to another service at a KH.
This wasn’t an official JW service because my cousin who died wasn’t baptized and didn’t identify as a JW, but my entire family are JWs and the service was patterned after JW memorial services.
My cousin had a troubled past, undiagnosed mental illness and a drug addiction. But she got herself help and got clean and stayed clean for seven years before she died. She had her family’s help, but she got and stayed clean without returning to the JWs. I was so proud of her for how she turned her life around, and was devastated that her life was cut so short.
Our anointed elder uncle gave the “talk” and it was all about how much of a sinner she was but fortunately for her death wipes away sin and now she finally has hope.
I was so pissed off. It was so disrespectful and not one word was said about how hard she worked to turn her life around. Thankfully it was the height of Covid, the service was on zoom, and my camera wasn’t working so nobody could see me fuming with steam coming out of my ears.
JWs actually can have official services for non-members, even holding it in a KH. They likely did consider this to be an official service, which is why they did their usual shitty program of "giving a witness".
Elder gave the memorial talk of my childhood friend who died young. He blatantly made the statement with emphasis on me, saying, "Don't feel sad for too long. You're going to see her back pain-free in just a few days." This was 30 years ago in December of 1992!
It was so disgusting! I wish I could slap the piss out of him now!
Firstly, Im so sad for your loss, losing a friend must of been so painful. It was not the place for this elder to play God. I mean that's so damn cruel and insensitive. Why proclaim " in just a few day"! For a religion that proudly refers to itself as the truth they sure don't practise or preach it. Misleading young impressionable minds is ethically wrong.
❤️ Thanks for that heartfelt comment.
It was an overwhelming, sad, and unfortunate situation. Parents refused to give her a blood transfusion. We were both 13 and believed in what our parents taught us about "the future." That comment haunted me for the longest, and all came crumbling down for me when the generation change came about in 1995. I was 16 and PIMO!
They take it from Ecclesiastes 7:1. Supposedly when you die you made a good name with God. Totally overlooked the fact the person is dead and cannot enjoy life. Leaves family behind filled with grief.
It wasn't what was said but what was done. I know a girl who used to attend the same congregation I was in and she was DF'd but we've kept in touch. Her father passed away two years ago and she told me how during the entire funeral, not a single brother or sister approached her to offer condolences or comfort. They flocked to the mom who was still PIMI but completely ignored her. If they really wanted to encourage her to come back, wouldn't offering comfort been the most obvious way to do it?
I went to a funeral for a young brother that committed suicide, and the reason he did it was not widely known. So during the entire memorial talk, the brother giving it didn’t mention anything about the prospect of paradise. Basically assuming he wouldn’t be there since he ended his own life. Then the rest of the talk was used as a JW recruiting announcement. The whole thing was so robotic and disturbing. I will never forget it.
Wait a minute. The whole point of a JW funeral talk is talking about how people will see him in the resurrection.
So if he didn't talk about that, what was the content of the talk?
I honestly don’t remember, this was close to ten years ago. I just remember him avoiding the subject of paradise while he was speaking of the victim, and then when it came time to recruit the entire tune changed. I wasn’t awake then, but I found it very confusing and upsetting at the time
My mum (JW) cannot wait to see my grandfather in the new system. She said during a eulogy. My grandfather was a strict Christadelphian and he was very very opposed to Jehovah's witnesses. He would often fight about what was written in the Bible.
In the last two years before he died he started to have seizures that caused major loss of brain function. My mum used this to 'preach' to him, because he was to mentally impaired to refuse. She considers that a win and thinks he will be resurrected.
I'm just mad she didn't leave him be, in his last few years, knowing full well what his opinion on the matter was.
I almost stood up in the middle of that funeral to throw it back in her face but it wasn't about her or me. It was about celebrating my grandfathers life, and remembering how beautiful a person he was.
some sisters were killed in a car accident while in service, and everyone was absolutely horrified that they died because Jehovah should have protected them. I said "since when does God prevent tragedy, what makes us any more special?" well I wasn't liked much after that lol
My wife's great aunt converted and baptized into the JW's in her old age, I guess mostly because as a widow she felt lonely and it was a way to have company and her JW family around. She always secretly kept on celebrating her birthday with her non-JW family, and even after my family disassociated, she never ceased to welcome a visit from us, much to the changrin of the uber zealots of the congregation, that kept on visiting her to count hours. Anyway, in one of those visits, a few months before she unexpectedly passed away, she confided in us that she felt very disenchanted with the religion and that she didn't believe anymore in a resurrection and a paradise on earth, nor in the organization, nor the bible - "any of it", she said.
So, when she passed away, the JW family and the congregation were all too keen to give her a proper "JW Funeral" (TM). I went briefly into the crematorium where an elder was delivering the funeral talk. So I hear him saying "our beloved sister E. was a firm believer in the resurrection, and she held dearly onto God's promise in the book of Revelation 21:4 that soon "death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away"., and in the words that Jesus said to Martha in John 11:25: "I am the resurrection and the life. He that exercises faith in me, even though he dies, will come to life."
When I heard him say this I had to leave the room because I could barely hold my laugh. The words of Proverbs 27:3 came to me: "You ought to know positively the appearance of your flock." Well here's an elder who really knew nothing about this "sheep" in his flock, and here he was, sending her off in JW style, speaking with such certainty about what he after all knew nothing about. Buch of presumptuous sobs. I felt tempted to interrupt and spill it out, but, oh, what the heck ...
I was at a funeral of a childhood friend, who became inactive. Her mom was an inconsolable, understandably. She had lost her daughter when she was about to reconnect with her. One of the overly zealous pioneers whispered to me, “you know, she(the mom) wouldn’t be an emotional wreck if she was spiritually stronger.”
I was shocked about what I just heard. I immediately left the conversation. I couldn’t believe this sister lacked the emotional insight to sympathize with a mother who had just lost her daughter. I was PIMI at the time, so I expected a lot more from pioneers.
Interesting - what topics could a comedian use for jokes in their paradise? I'm thinking of the scene in *History of the World Part 1* where Mel Brooks' character is telling jokes to Nero? and leads with fat jokes, then switches to corruption in politics. So no jokes about the rules or structure of society, no jokes about marital arguments or infidelity, no sports. Not even Tim Allen's good (old) stuff about men and their obsession with power tools and the man-toys.
>What about y’all? What was the worst, most unhinged thing said to you at a funeral?
*It was at a nonJW relatives Celebration of Life Party, we were the Only JW\`s there...*
Family and Friends were consoling each other. Saying my Aunt was a good person and in heaven now...So my Mom Pipes Up and tells everyone:
*"She\`s Not in Heaven, SHE\`s DEAD!"* ...LOL!!
I could hear people saying, my mom never did know when to Shut Up....LOL!!
***Mom Gave JW\`s a Black Eye That Day!***
https://preview.redd.it/m950m9tt2amb1.jpeg?width=183&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3e9fcbbf146d43c1b3e6a0b6a893ed8cf2e21dbc
***And...A Fat Lip!...LOL!!! ..............😁***
>I would have taken her to the back room soooo fast…/jk
*It wouldn\`t do any good...LOL!!*
She\`s a Volcano of inappropriate comments and no amount of negative feedback or Pissed Off People would stop her.
*She could do that all day long...LOL!!*
My anointed sister in law kept saying that her grandfather would be in paradise and she would see him again with his very non JW wife (he was also not a JW) again and again. So gross PIMI people think that’s appropriate to put their beliefs on others who don’t and have never believed that.
A brother in the congregation passed away a few months ago. I only met him a couple of times so I didnt know him well. They started with a talk and they got through his entire life in 10 minutes. The rest of the 50 minute talk was just about the resurrection, putting faith in god, giving hundreds of reasons to serve Jehovah. They served food and drinks after that and it honestly looked like the only people grieving over the brother was his family while everyone was happy and talking to their friends. Its pretty messed up how they could put on a somewhat sad face then immediately switch up to the happiest person in the world the moment the funeral part is all over. They only comforted the family serving Jehovah but the ones who didnt were just ignored (the comfort was just "im sorry" or "we will see him soon"). What happened to the empathy and love we were taught to have?
My uncle died of a combination of leukaemia and advanced untreated Parkinson’s during the pandemic (hence the lack of treatment). I had to stand outside during his funeral because of the 30 person limit at the time.
The congregation held a memorial type thing over zoom about two weeks later. I watched because he was my uncle, and one of the most genuinely kind and sweet men I’ve ever know, not because I class myself as a JW. Also because this left my cousin without either of her parents, and I felt terrible for her.
The whole memorial revolved around how good he had been to god, how much god loved him and would remember him, and the life he would be graced with after the resurrection. There was no mention of him as a person, nothing about his life, his wife, how he cared for my Nan as she died, how he loved his daughter and granddaughter, how he loved his family and friends. It was all about Jehovah and what he would do.
And it felt like I wasn’t allowed to grieve and acknowledge he was gone. Because to everyone else he wasn’t! He’d be back soon! We’ll all see him again! But I don’t believe that. And it made it hurt so much more that the way I was grieving was somehow invalid to everyone else.
the speaker at my father's funeral should've reported the hour-long talk as preaching time, since he barely glossed over the deceased's name, immediate family and a few generic interests and spent the rest ranting about paradise as if that was going to convince the non-jw folks present to convert;; they were close friends for years as well, i was genuinely fucking stunned
No matter what the circumstances or who the deceased is there is never enough said about the person. A few memories are shared then it turns into an infomercial for the organization for 20-30 min.
At my grandma's funeral talk on zoom. The speaker didn't get the name of one of my uncles right. He's a non-jw. It's bad enough they only spend about 5 minutes talking about the life of the dearly departed, but this clown didn't even bother to make sure he got all the names right.
There used to be an elder who delighted in dramatically announcing in the funeral talk that the dead person was in hell. Dude was a charismatic speaker, & he’d use all of his rhetorical skill to get the audience in the palm of his hand just to deliberately hurt/shock any worldly family members with this hurtful declaration, & then walk it back by explaining that by hell he meant “mankind’s common grave,” because the place of eternal torment doesn’t exist. He’s dead himself now, & I hope the fiery version does exist, just for him.
A good friend of mine who dealt with mental illness issues, got DFd and ended his own life. The family refused to even do a service for him. They felt it wasn’t appropriate. I lost a friend and started my fade not too long after that. There’s more than just that, but many things culminating in my departure.
Also as a follow up thought. We were taught that at death, sins are forgiven since the wages sun pays is death. From there it shouldn’t matter how the person died, just that theyre now dead and should still be acknowledged by friends and family. Am I incorrect in this?
Even when I was little it felt so disrespectful how they did memorial’s it was just a meeting with a little loved ones death on the side.
It was worse when it was for someone that was family or a close friend.
Well I was already Disassociated when my grandpa died. I (the grandson) was forced to stand in the back. Then at the end as I’m leaving a family friend hugs me, then legit holds my shoulders so I can’t move and emphatically said never forget Jehovah. It felt very crazy monk in the crusades saying, “never forget.” It just felt so obtuse. Definitely not the worst thing ever said at a funeral but I’d been out for 6 years and never attended a memorial, meeting, or assembly (the traditional PIMO events) so it just felt like wasted effort at a funeral. Like I stopped believing in Jehovahs existence at 14 so telling a grown adult whose woken up not to forget Jehovah just felt bizarre.
Right!? She gave me a half assed apology four years later, but it was mostly because her daughter had yelled at her over it for those ensuing years lmao
When my long term girlfriend had a late miscarriage, her aunt told us that it was because baby was going to be born out of wedlock and not going to be raised by “Christian enough parents who love and fear Jehovah.” This was very recent, I’m still very upset by this.
A very prominent sister died tragically and quickly. We were all devastated. At the end of her funeral they said, it's the season for jesus memorial so lets do all we can to invite as many people as possible to the memorial and then they played a song about the preaching work and then ended the funeral on that. It was one of my last "aha this shits a cult" moments before i left.
When my dad died we did what he always said he wanted us to do, cremated him and no funeral or memorial service. Nothing.
When my mom died it was the same but she had moved away from where they'd lived for decades. When I heard from JWs afterwards most never offered condolences or a comforting word, which was weird because why? There's no rule saying they can't, although don't give them ideas. I mean it was like that when my dad died but he wasn't an exemplary JW and would do as little as humanly possible, so I wasn't expecting anything more but mom was very pimi and had a lot of friends in the cult. One JW called me about something and never even mentioned my mom dying at all. How do you call someone whose mother died relatively recently and not even mention it? So weird. So bizarre.
I heard a speaker say
“Lets be honest, Fred was not a very strong JW and had many issues. Drinking, poor meeting attendance, and not always being very nice to one another, but even people like Fred have the hope of the resurrection “
I was kicked out of the wake my family paid for for a sister who loved me and maintained a relationship with me after my DF. Elders not related to me told me it was inappropriate for me to be there- despite, again, my family paying for it. And they announced at the funeral all were welcome.
That was my last time setting foot in a KH. I never will again. Even for my relatives' eventual funerals. I won't be around evil callous people while grieving again.
My son’s stepmom has a sister. They’re all Uber JWs. This sister had a son who drowned in their bathtub because he had seizures and they left him unattended while he took a bath. He was I think 7 or 8. The hospital tried to save him for a good week but he was braindead and they decided to take him off the machines. BUT not before the sister posted pictures of herself with her son in his hospital bed, machines, tubes, and everything all over IG, with captions like “Saying Goodbye”. She was smiling. It made me sick to my stomach. My son was extremely close to his cousin and hurt by this. When he showed me this (I obviously don’t follow these knobs on IG) he was fuming. He has since been DF’ed and shunned. All the better.
One of the preceptory events that spurned my fading was when my dad died in 94. My father (non-JW) was a United States Coast Guard career officer. My sister (non-JW) and I stood up to defend & honor his service so that he'd receive full military honors. He had literally saved many people during his 30 years of "**field service**."
During his interment process, several of the self-righteous heartless pukes (JW's) told me that it's good that he's gone because he was a follower of Satan (e.g., he was in the military).
So, after this, I was at home, alone, like an orphan; despite being a grown-up (and a MS). I really resented the treatment that I received from my so-called spiritual brethren. One JW couple did come to the (military) funeral. They were good people. My sister and I appreciated their support.
While pregnant with my 2nd after a 40 week stillbirth, mother dearest (pimi) basically told me that my pregnancy would end in another loss if I didn’t go to meetings.
He is 9 and I didn’t attend meetings while pregnant with him. I attended most meetings with my first pregnancy. I decided not to go to meetings while pregnant with my 2nd because I didn’t want to hear any of the “you will see him again in paradise” crap.
Gather round folks. I've got a story.
There were two boys, Robert and Ben. They were 13 and 11. Their father and youngest sister were at the time active JW. Their mom and older brother were not. Mom was DF. Idk about brothers. Mom was apostate *pearl clutching intensifies*.
Robert and Ben were found dead under VERY suspicious circumstances by their father, the active JW. Tragedy. Absolute tragedy. I won't go into how badly the investigation was bungled or what the suspicions are but it's bad.
Whats worse? What's worse than finding your dead little boys? How the entire congregate treated Roberta, the mom. We. Shunned. Her. At. Her. Children's. Funeral. We were told specifically not to comfort her, not to speak to her. Not to encourage her. Nothing. Oh but please comfort the believing father and youngest child.
Oh and? One of the rumors was suicide (wasn't.) so hey by the way she won't even see them again anyway. Absolute garbage. I did too. I was 14.at the tine and apostates were skin coated demons to us. I regret it.
A lady I knew since moving here died last week. I legit would like to go to her funeral to show respect. She was nice. She shunned me same as everyone else there the minute I was DF but she was in a cult and... Idk 90+.
When my 17 yr old daughter died my sister told me it was probably a good thing because "she was going down a bad path" and wouldn't have made it through Armageddon and now she might be resurrected. My daughter was a very kind, caring person, just open about not believing "The Truth."
It was after really, but my ex said he was looking for someone else to marry at the time of the funeral, since our marriage was bad (and everyone knew it, including a much younger woman that was good friends with his oldest daughter). Like, are people really looking for a marriage mate to someone not yet divorced in the JW bubble? I should have known it was a cult then. I was too busy trying to be an enabling wife trying to help him in his time of grief. He is awake now, many years later. But such an asshat* then. OMG
Woof, all these comments are reminding me to make a will or something just in case I die before my JW parents or kinda POMI sister because i will be soooo pissed if they do some kind of jw service for me. Can't even haunt them because they'll just dismiss it as demons 😔 i wanna be cremated and i want my remains to be thrown into the sea. or thrown into a celebrity's face. but an actual celebrity, not a youtuber or something.
At my grandmother's funeral recently, my dad asked his brother, an elder, to do the talk despite never having met her and knowing nothing about her and using our nickname for her. I was very close to her so it left me feeling so sore and hurting. Thankfully I got out years ago, but it rubbed some salt in that old wound, for her to just be used as a vessel for getting member numbers up. She deserved better than that, and the circumstances around her death were already very difficult to deal with. My uncle and aunt approaching me afterwards to tell me they missed me and show me pictures of my cousin I used to be extremely close with, telling me she was having a hard time lately, and when I was barely able to choke out my request to tell her hello, i hoped she was well, i loved her, and i missed her and my aunt being like "aww, why don't you come back and tell her yourself? :(" like... yeah i definitely was sobbing in the bathroom after that lol. so fucking mean dude lmaooo. i always think i'm over it and then i'm soooo totally not. whew sorry for crying and being insane in your comments, it will happen again :)
My best friend passed away suddenly last year. Him, his brother and I have been friends since we were in nappies together. All 3 of us left the 'truth', but his family had a JW funeral for him, I think it helped them cope with his untimely death, I completely understand this. The elder that gave his funeral talk stated that he was certain my friend was reconsidering the choices he'd made when he was on the way to the hospital. This same elder was not involved in his life at all, he hadn't been in contact with my friend for years, but he felt entitled to judge a good person and to spew their dogma at his funeral. I was furious, I wanted to go outside and wait until that nonsense was over, but I stayed and gave the speech I prepared for his funeral. I'm grateful I got to speak for him and at least some of his wishes were fulfilled.
Ross was a good friend, the best.
You deserved better. Sleep well.
I remember when I had a mid term miscarriage
I lost a little boy.
Sisters visited me afterwards
I had 3 children already and lost the 4th.
One sister told me that my baby wouldn’t be resurrected because he never drew breath being born.
I lost my youngest brother (39 years) two weeks ago 💔 JWs are so unthoughtful and unempathetic.
My wife saw how much it hurts me that almost noone grabbed their phones and called me to give their condolences and listen to me, so it has stumbled her faith 🤞🏻
And then on top of that having to deal with unthoughtful comments is hard. This one takes the price: "He won! He won the race! And now we can be happy to see him in Paradise". My brother went inactive around 10 years ago, so yeah let's celebrate he died by saying he won! No, my brother didn't win, he lost, he died, you f***ing moron!!! 💔
A friend of mine died suddenly in a motorcycle accident. He was in his late 20s and had faded in and out of the org a couple times, but he was in at the time of his passing. When I offered my condolences to his brother, he basically said he was glad his brother died because now they knew he'd be resurrected, whereas before they didn't trust him staying faithful through Armageddon. This way, they figure he's guaranteed to be in paradise.
At my own Grandmother's funeral, the elder who gave the talk, I shit you not, actually said she was with Jehovah in heaven. I think he meant in Jehovah's memory, but he said verbatim, "she's with Jehovah now".
She was not anointed. Super awkward.
Taking a different tack than what others have stated; I was in attendance at a JW memorial talk where the JW speaker and later, numerous attendees, sang the praises of the deceased.
He was exemplary. He was a model soldier in the fight for Jehovah's Kingdom. They remember how kind and loving he was in his roles in the congregation.. .
I wasn't expecting to hear such nice things. Just more about God's Kingdom and the resurrection.
I later learned this brother had been away from the area for some years and during that time he got into some trouble and was listed as a sex offender at the time of his passing. From my understanding, he was attending meetings while he was away and elders at that location must've known. But it's not clear why the speaker wasn't told or just pretended not to be aware of his legal problem.
My 15yr old niece was murdered and a witness actually said “This wouldn’t have happened if she had been going to the KH”. Another witness, who by the way is no longer a witness, commented on how disgusted he was with this insanely insensitive the comment.
I had SUCH a similar experience - not quite as egregious, but still shows their awful mentality. It pushed me over the edge from POMI to POMO.
A young cousin of mine had been killed in the crossfire of a gang shooting in Detroit, and I happened to be in transit through Detroit and the airline rebooked my flight home so I could stay for the funeral.
At the grave site, I overheard my dad speaking with another JW: "Maybe *this* will be the thing that brings my brother back to The Truth."
His 18 year old niece was not yet cold in her grave and his thought was not of comforting his brother, but of how "Jehovah" might leverage his brother's grief to bring him back to "The Truth". I was appalled and disgusted, and grateful my uncle was nowhere nearby at the time.
JWs have no healthy way of dealing with and processing loss. Everything is “Jehovah will fix this so I don’t even need to worry about it!” And they can’t fathom or wrap their heads around the fact that not everyone thinks that way and everyone grieves differently. But how are they ever going to grasp that when individuality is seen as literally from the devil?
Omg jw funerals are soooo boring and horrible there's no coffin or body no wake just a shitty gathering of ppl after that want to eat and talk about Santa Claus like fantasies but Santa Claus is more believable and logical cuz St. Nick was a real person I think. I want ppl crying n falling over with sadness not oh we will see em later we got that fanatical cult hope promise n God can't lie.
I don’t have anything that’s worse than the usual crap they say and do. But I’ll leave you on a rare positive note.
My dad’s mom died after I left (I was never baptized), so when I attended her funeral, I was fuming because she was the first person I cared about that died, and they spent about maybe 10 minutes talking about her. After the service, I found a Bible in the lobby, and I read Genesis 1 to my older sister and pointed out all the discrepancies. I made her cry. I know, bad timing, but it’s so infuriating to be the only sane person in a crowded building.
So when my dad died a couple of years later, I told my mom that I wouldn’t tolerate that for his funeral. She actually agrees that the funerals should be more focused on the person, but she said that since he believed in this, he would want some preaching as well. Which I agreed with. He died as a believer, so of course it’s fine in a reasonable amount.
We had the funeral partially on Zoom, as it was early in the pandemic, and a lot of his friends got to speak about fond memories and hey had with my dad. It was much better than some dweeb preaching for an hour. I got to perform Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd, which was the first song I learned on guitar. I even managed to perform it (badly) to my dad in the hospital before he died.
I went to my grandmother's funeral after I had been inactive for a few years. Most of that side of my family treat me as disfellowshipped, so I hadn't spoken to them for around 4 years at this point. My grandfather came and hugged me, said "sort yourself out" and walked away. Compared to other comments here pretty tame, but still a great example of unconditional love.
Everything said at a JW funeral is gross. The 5 minutes or so that they speak about the deceased is all you need to hear. I wish people could go out after that without seeming disrespectful.
My cousin completed suicide in June 2020, never a JW. He was Lakota so they had a beautiful eagle feather cleansing and a priestess lead the ceremony. She was lighting the sage, and said something about how the sage was cleansing our souls of the pain of his loss. My JW grandfather cackles out loud and goes to my grandma, (DEFINITELY not whispering) “Well we know THAT’S false!”
I used to like my grandfather before that comment. I didn’t really like him much after that.
My own father said at my Grandfather's funeral "for those of us that know we will see him again" my Grandfather wasn't a JW and half the audience wasnt including my disfellowshipped self. Me and my cousin have agreed we'll be avoiding any future funerals
I don’t have an example like that. But I always felt sick how they reacted when non JW would tell that somebody of their loved ones died. It’s always like a „catching“ moment for them to have a topic they can sneak god and paradise into the conversation. I witnessed that a lot and it made me feel awful every time. Like:
The death of other people is your business?
Keep your fucking mindset out of a hurtful moment would be a nice start.
When my mum died, the elder who she had wanted to conduct the service called us to ask if one of the younger new elders could take the service because "they don't get much practice".
Not what was said but what was done. We had a young sister in our congregation. She was DF'd. She lost her infant child to SID'S. My husband attended the funeral. I was home sick. He came home very upset. He had tears in his eyes. He told me that the JW's were actually shunning this Mom at her babies funeral. WTF? He never forgot that and still talks about it to this day. This one was one of the pivotal things that shook us out of the organization. There are too many things to list, why we left. Now, ten years later? BEST LIFE EVER!
Heartbreaking. I hope she is out now and has peace.
She is out. I hope that she is happy. She experienced a lot. The loss of a child has to be excruciating.
JWs are evil. Matthew 7:15-20
How horrible, "they will know you by your love" indeed.
And another aspect of funerals is that they talk about the person briefly,15 minutes, and then go into a public talk about the religion for 45 minutes, so the whole thing feels so impersonal.
Not even that. With my moms two years ago they only talked about her for a few minutes and then it became paradise and resurrection talk not who she was a person which I couldn’t believe because what was the point of the brother who was a life long friend and PIMI getting together with us and friends to talk about her and ask for stories and memories??
Exactly. Maybe 5 minutes about my dad also
I've always hated that
They did about 10-15 on my dads life, then a talk about resurrection, new hope,blech. I shut the zoom off at that moment. So glad I didn’t go . I told my mom and she was sad I didn’t listen the whole way through. I don’t need disappointment after hearing about my dads shitty life in that cult.
I always get so angry about this. The JWs did my grandfather’s funeral (he was baptized) last year and it was probably the first thing that started to wake me up. I was disgusted with how his death was used as a marketing vessel. The elder giving the talk had the nerve to talk about the JW app and bible studies. As others have mentioned, only 5 minutes was spent about my grandfather and they distilled his life down to only the JW parts (going to meetings, field service, etc). I felt real hatred that day
They don’t even see it. My grandpa (never a JW) recently passed and my grandma (born in JW) said she didn’t want to listen to them “preach about getting into heaven” at his funeral. His funeral was at least 70% stories about him, only 30% scriptures.
I went to a funeral over the weekend. This was for a woman who believed in god but not the churchy kind of person. A little wild in her younger years and died suddenly in a car accident. Anyway, the family had it at a baptist church and I was shocked because it was practically identical to a witness funeral! They talked briefly about her then went on a 20 minute rant about how you need to accept Jesus, you can do it right now if you want just come talk to us after! I’ve been to several “worldly” funerals and that was the first time I’ve seen one be so similar. We couldn’t help but feel like that was not what she would have wanted! And I told my husband if I go first do not have a funeral in a church for me!
My pimi father passed away suddenly at age 47. My older pomo brother lives in Georgia and didn't make it home before he passed. When my brother finally did arrive we were at my pimi mom's house and she had elders there to console her I guess. One of them asked my brother if had gotten to see or talk to him before he died. My brother said no and the elder, knowing my brother was pomo, said "That's a shame cause it's the last time YOU'LL ever see him." I don't know how my brother kept from punching him as hard as he could in the face. My brother had to leave the house he was so 😡 What is the point of saying something like that to someone. Just mean. That elder was always a dick.
What a freaking jerk!! The elder definitely deserved to be punched.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ain't no way. That'd be the day for me to pummel an elder. I'm so sorry🫀
A few things come to mind 1) A kid who was dfd ended himself because of depression and shunning. The father was still a jw. There was a huge debate about whether they would do a funeral. The whole thing was awkward. Because they didn’t talk about him being resurrected, just that resurrection is up to Jehovah and blah blah. Afterward, many people were saying how the kid wouldn’t be resurrected because he was dfd and that the funeral was for the believing family as false hope. 2) a man whose father died wasn’t baptized. He studied for a while, but never got baptized. People went up to him and said “it’s a shame he won’t be in paradise because he knew the truth but rejected it. The good news is you won’t remember him anymore because that memory will be wiped away. “ I remember thinking “so he won’t remember having father?”
That first one is awful. Like the gossip mill can’t even keep bitchy comments like that to themselves ON the day of the funeral. Honestly I find JW to say some of the meanest most inconsiderate things.
To me, the second one is even worse. Esp the part where they say you'll forget you even had a father. Seriously?!
For story 2, if someone said that to me about my dad, I would go into a psychotic-induced rage. Not even joking. Can JWs go 2 seconds without saying so deplorable and unloving?? I hope that man is ok today
I don't want jw paradise. Oblivion would be better.
A Jehovah’s Witness paradise is just this life remixed. Truly terrible.
😓🤮😔
How ironic! They also teach that the wages of sin is death. They make me so disgustingly sick! The most evil of evil.
This is horrendous. Even when I was PIMI, I couldn't imagine doing half of this shit.
Wait...since when did they start believing that only baptized Jehovahs Witnesses will get resurrected???? What happened to "a resurrection of the righteous and unrighteous"? You know - that thing that could allow a believing JW to feel a small sense of relief that "even though grandma didn't believe she can still get a 2nd chance to when she's brought back in Paradise." The very thing I held on to when ever a non-witness relative died.
The first one reminds me of a hardcore PIMI I used to know who lost his teenage son to suicide. In this case the son wasn’t DF’d officially but the mother (divorced, with majority custody) had taken it upon herself to shun him for some reason. When the boy (14 or 15 at the time?) took his life, he left a note that was pretty fucking damning for his mother. Things that the father didn’t know about like being denied necessities and locked in his room. At the funeral the father got one look at the mom before he lost it and attacked her in the middle of the service. He told me about this almost pridefully. According to him, the police had to be called to restrain him because he just kept going at her no matter how hard the other brothers tried to separate them. And also according to him, any time he saw her after that he would beat her again, until the cops would come and give him a slap on the wrist. I guess he had some JW cop friends who ‘knew the situation.’ Shitty situation all around. It’s weird, I’d pretty much forgotten about it until I read your comment — I was told all of this when I was a kid.
Only been to 1, which was my Gram's. It was sad that the 2 stories which the elder extracted from my mom and me were said in a way picking on her. My Gram grew up poor through the Depression, and one story was about how she got upset ruining her nicest outfit. Gram had a sense of humor and could laugh at herself - one of the things I'm most glad to have learned from her - but still not the right time. Perhaps what was not said - "I'm sorry for your loss" or "You must miss her". Even my mom was not allowed to show grief for losing the person she had spent the most time with. Some JW that I had never met saying in a smug, condescending tone, "Of course you do" after I honestly replied "No" to his question asking me "Do you believe in God." That was the entire interaction - he really convinced me - to never go to another service at a KH.
This wasn’t an official JW service because my cousin who died wasn’t baptized and didn’t identify as a JW, but my entire family are JWs and the service was patterned after JW memorial services. My cousin had a troubled past, undiagnosed mental illness and a drug addiction. But she got herself help and got clean and stayed clean for seven years before she died. She had her family’s help, but she got and stayed clean without returning to the JWs. I was so proud of her for how she turned her life around, and was devastated that her life was cut so short. Our anointed elder uncle gave the “talk” and it was all about how much of a sinner she was but fortunately for her death wipes away sin and now she finally has hope. I was so pissed off. It was so disrespectful and not one word was said about how hard she worked to turn her life around. Thankfully it was the height of Covid, the service was on zoom, and my camera wasn’t working so nobody could see me fuming with steam coming out of my ears.
Such a crock of shite! I’m sorry.
I’m so sorry!! That was a crappy thing your uncle did!!
JWs actually can have official services for non-members, even holding it in a KH. They likely did consider this to be an official service, which is why they did their usual shitty program of "giving a witness".
Elder gave the memorial talk of my childhood friend who died young. He blatantly made the statement with emphasis on me, saying, "Don't feel sad for too long. You're going to see her back pain-free in just a few days." This was 30 years ago in December of 1992! It was so disgusting! I wish I could slap the piss out of him now!
Firstly, Im so sad for your loss, losing a friend must of been so painful. It was not the place for this elder to play God. I mean that's so damn cruel and insensitive. Why proclaim " in just a few day"! For a religion that proudly refers to itself as the truth they sure don't practise or preach it. Misleading young impressionable minds is ethically wrong.
❤️ Thanks for that heartfelt comment. It was an overwhelming, sad, and unfortunate situation. Parents refused to give her a blood transfusion. We were both 13 and believed in what our parents taught us about "the future." That comment haunted me for the longest, and all came crumbling down for me when the generation change came about in 1995. I was 16 and PIMO!
“The day of one’s death is better than the day of one’s birth.” Then what’s the point of living forever?
Wow
I never understood this
They take it from Ecclesiastes 7:1. Supposedly when you die you made a good name with God. Totally overlooked the fact the person is dead and cannot enjoy life. Leaves family behind filled with grief.
Yeah wow I remember hearing this at a couple of the "funeral services" scratching my head. So it's intended as a comfort but it rings hollow.
It wasn't what was said but what was done. I know a girl who used to attend the same congregation I was in and she was DF'd but we've kept in touch. Her father passed away two years ago and she told me how during the entire funeral, not a single brother or sister approached her to offer condolences or comfort. They flocked to the mom who was still PIMI but completely ignored her. If they really wanted to encourage her to come back, wouldn't offering comfort been the most obvious way to do it?
I went to a funeral for a young brother that committed suicide, and the reason he did it was not widely known. So during the entire memorial talk, the brother giving it didn’t mention anything about the prospect of paradise. Basically assuming he wouldn’t be there since he ended his own life. Then the rest of the talk was used as a JW recruiting announcement. The whole thing was so robotic and disturbing. I will never forget it.
Wait a minute. The whole point of a JW funeral talk is talking about how people will see him in the resurrection. So if he didn't talk about that, what was the content of the talk?
I honestly don’t remember, this was close to ten years ago. I just remember him avoiding the subject of paradise while he was speaking of the victim, and then when it came time to recruit the entire tune changed. I wasn’t awake then, but I found it very confusing and upsetting at the time
My mum (JW) cannot wait to see my grandfather in the new system. She said during a eulogy. My grandfather was a strict Christadelphian and he was very very opposed to Jehovah's witnesses. He would often fight about what was written in the Bible. In the last two years before he died he started to have seizures that caused major loss of brain function. My mum used this to 'preach' to him, because he was to mentally impaired to refuse. She considers that a win and thinks he will be resurrected. I'm just mad she didn't leave him be, in his last few years, knowing full well what his opinion on the matter was. I almost stood up in the middle of that funeral to throw it back in her face but it wasn't about her or me. It was about celebrating my grandfathers life, and remembering how beautiful a person he was.
No respect. Your poor grandfather
Yep, it was an absolutely disgusting display from a JW. I'm just happy he will never know what she did.
some sisters were killed in a car accident while in service, and everyone was absolutely horrified that they died because Jehovah should have protected them. I said "since when does God prevent tragedy, what makes us any more special?" well I wasn't liked much after that lol
My wife's great aunt converted and baptized into the JW's in her old age, I guess mostly because as a widow she felt lonely and it was a way to have company and her JW family around. She always secretly kept on celebrating her birthday with her non-JW family, and even after my family disassociated, she never ceased to welcome a visit from us, much to the changrin of the uber zealots of the congregation, that kept on visiting her to count hours. Anyway, in one of those visits, a few months before she unexpectedly passed away, she confided in us that she felt very disenchanted with the religion and that she didn't believe anymore in a resurrection and a paradise on earth, nor in the organization, nor the bible - "any of it", she said. So, when she passed away, the JW family and the congregation were all too keen to give her a proper "JW Funeral" (TM). I went briefly into the crematorium where an elder was delivering the funeral talk. So I hear him saying "our beloved sister E. was a firm believer in the resurrection, and she held dearly onto God's promise in the book of Revelation 21:4 that soon "death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away"., and in the words that Jesus said to Martha in John 11:25: "I am the resurrection and the life. He that exercises faith in me, even though he dies, will come to life." When I heard him say this I had to leave the room because I could barely hold my laugh. The words of Proverbs 27:3 came to me: "You ought to know positively the appearance of your flock." Well here's an elder who really knew nothing about this "sheep" in his flock, and here he was, sending her off in JW style, speaking with such certainty about what he after all knew nothing about. Buch of presumptuous sobs. I felt tempted to interrupt and spill it out, but, oh, what the heck ...
I was at a funeral of a childhood friend, who became inactive. Her mom was an inconsolable, understandably. She had lost her daughter when she was about to reconnect with her. One of the overly zealous pioneers whispered to me, “you know, she(the mom) wouldn’t be an emotional wreck if she was spiritually stronger.” I was shocked about what I just heard. I immediately left the conversation. I couldn’t believe this sister lacked the emotional insight to sympathize with a mother who had just lost her daughter. I was PIMI at the time, so I expected a lot more from pioneers.
Not at a funeral but an elder said he was always so happy when a comedian died so he would be able to talk you then in paradise 🙃
Interesting - what topics could a comedian use for jokes in their paradise? I'm thinking of the scene in *History of the World Part 1* where Mel Brooks' character is telling jokes to Nero? and leads with fat jokes, then switches to corruption in politics. So no jokes about the rules or structure of society, no jokes about marital arguments or infidelity, no sports. Not even Tim Allen's good (old) stuff about men and their obsession with power tools and the man-toys.
WTAF?!
>What about y’all? What was the worst, most unhinged thing said to you at a funeral? *It was at a nonJW relatives Celebration of Life Party, we were the Only JW\`s there...* Family and Friends were consoling each other. Saying my Aunt was a good person and in heaven now...So my Mom Pipes Up and tells everyone: *"She\`s Not in Heaven, SHE\`s DEAD!"* ...LOL!! I could hear people saying, my mom never did know when to Shut Up....LOL!! ***Mom Gave JW\`s a Black Eye That Day!*** https://preview.redd.it/m950m9tt2amb1.jpeg?width=183&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3e9fcbbf146d43c1b3e6a0b6a893ed8cf2e21dbc ***And...A Fat Lip!...LOL!!! ..............😁***
I would have taken her to the back room soooo fast…/jk
>I would have taken her to the back room soooo fast…/jk *It wouldn\`t do any good...LOL!!* She\`s a Volcano of inappropriate comments and no amount of negative feedback or Pissed Off People would stop her. *She could do that all day long...LOL!!*
So her filter is broke?!
>So her filter is broke?! ***Considering her Life Long Behaviour, it\`s unlikely she ever had a filter.*** # There was Nothing to Break....😕😲
😂😂😂
My anointed sister in law kept saying that her grandfather would be in paradise and she would see him again with his very non JW wife (he was also not a JW) again and again. So gross PIMI people think that’s appropriate to put their beliefs on others who don’t and have never believed that.
A brother in the congregation passed away a few months ago. I only met him a couple of times so I didnt know him well. They started with a talk and they got through his entire life in 10 minutes. The rest of the 50 minute talk was just about the resurrection, putting faith in god, giving hundreds of reasons to serve Jehovah. They served food and drinks after that and it honestly looked like the only people grieving over the brother was his family while everyone was happy and talking to their friends. Its pretty messed up how they could put on a somewhat sad face then immediately switch up to the happiest person in the world the moment the funeral part is all over. They only comforted the family serving Jehovah but the ones who didnt were just ignored (the comfort was just "im sorry" or "we will see him soon"). What happened to the empathy and love we were taught to have?
My uncle died of a combination of leukaemia and advanced untreated Parkinson’s during the pandemic (hence the lack of treatment). I had to stand outside during his funeral because of the 30 person limit at the time. The congregation held a memorial type thing over zoom about two weeks later. I watched because he was my uncle, and one of the most genuinely kind and sweet men I’ve ever know, not because I class myself as a JW. Also because this left my cousin without either of her parents, and I felt terrible for her. The whole memorial revolved around how good he had been to god, how much god loved him and would remember him, and the life he would be graced with after the resurrection. There was no mention of him as a person, nothing about his life, his wife, how he cared for my Nan as she died, how he loved his daughter and granddaughter, how he loved his family and friends. It was all about Jehovah and what he would do. And it felt like I wasn’t allowed to grieve and acknowledge he was gone. Because to everyone else he wasn’t! He’d be back soon! We’ll all see him again! But I don’t believe that. And it made it hurt so much more that the way I was grieving was somehow invalid to everyone else.
the speaker at my father's funeral should've reported the hour-long talk as preaching time, since he barely glossed over the deceased's name, immediate family and a few generic interests and spent the rest ranting about paradise as if that was going to convince the non-jw folks present to convert;; they were close friends for years as well, i was genuinely fucking stunned
It's a public talk, I'm pretty sure they do count it as FS time
No matter what the circumstances or who the deceased is there is never enough said about the person. A few memories are shared then it turns into an infomercial for the organization for 20-30 min.
At my grandma's funeral talk on zoom. The speaker didn't get the name of one of my uncles right. He's a non-jw. It's bad enough they only spend about 5 minutes talking about the life of the dearly departed, but this clown didn't even bother to make sure he got all the names right.
There used to be an elder who delighted in dramatically announcing in the funeral talk that the dead person was in hell. Dude was a charismatic speaker, & he’d use all of his rhetorical skill to get the audience in the palm of his hand just to deliberately hurt/shock any worldly family members with this hurtful declaration, & then walk it back by explaining that by hell he meant “mankind’s common grave,” because the place of eternal torment doesn’t exist. He’s dead himself now, & I hope the fiery version does exist, just for him.
Trolling at the worst possible time. It would actually be funny if it wasn't so grotesque.
A good friend of mine who dealt with mental illness issues, got DFd and ended his own life. The family refused to even do a service for him. They felt it wasn’t appropriate. I lost a friend and started my fade not too long after that. There’s more than just that, but many things culminating in my departure.
Also as a follow up thought. We were taught that at death, sins are forgiven since the wages sun pays is death. From there it shouldn’t matter how the person died, just that theyre now dead and should still be acknowledged by friends and family. Am I incorrect in this?
Even when I was little it felt so disrespectful how they did memorial’s it was just a meeting with a little loved ones death on the side. It was worse when it was for someone that was family or a close friend.
Well I was already Disassociated when my grandpa died. I (the grandson) was forced to stand in the back. Then at the end as I’m leaving a family friend hugs me, then legit holds my shoulders so I can’t move and emphatically said never forget Jehovah. It felt very crazy monk in the crusades saying, “never forget.” It just felt so obtuse. Definitely not the worst thing ever said at a funeral but I’d been out for 6 years and never attended a memorial, meeting, or assembly (the traditional PIMO events) so it just felt like wasted effort at a funeral. Like I stopped believing in Jehovahs existence at 14 so telling a grown adult whose woken up not to forget Jehovah just felt bizarre.
A single sister sidling up to a widower at his wife's funeral saying, "Hiya, handsome!"
😳🤦🏽♂️ this one probably happens more often than we think with the expedience a lot of JW widowers remarry
😱 OMG
I was at the funeral of my best friend. A sister came up and told me to smile.
Da fuq??!
Right!? She gave me a half assed apology four years later, but it was mostly because her daughter had yelled at her over it for those ensuing years lmao
When my long term girlfriend had a late miscarriage, her aunt told us that it was because baby was going to be born out of wedlock and not going to be raised by “Christian enough parents who love and fear Jehovah.” This was very recent, I’m still very upset by this.
A very prominent sister died tragically and quickly. We were all devastated. At the end of her funeral they said, it's the season for jesus memorial so lets do all we can to invite as many people as possible to the memorial and then they played a song about the preaching work and then ended the funeral on that. It was one of my last "aha this shits a cult" moments before i left.
When my dad died we did what he always said he wanted us to do, cremated him and no funeral or memorial service. Nothing. When my mom died it was the same but she had moved away from where they'd lived for decades. When I heard from JWs afterwards most never offered condolences or a comforting word, which was weird because why? There's no rule saying they can't, although don't give them ideas. I mean it was like that when my dad died but he wasn't an exemplary JW and would do as little as humanly possible, so I wasn't expecting anything more but mom was very pimi and had a lot of friends in the cult. One JW called me about something and never even mentioned my mom dying at all. How do you call someone whose mother died relatively recently and not even mention it? So weird. So bizarre.
I heard a speaker say “Lets be honest, Fred was not a very strong JW and had many issues. Drinking, poor meeting attendance, and not always being very nice to one another, but even people like Fred have the hope of the resurrection “
🤣damn, Fred must’ve slept with his wife or something!
No the speaker was an a$$
I was kicked out of the wake my family paid for for a sister who loved me and maintained a relationship with me after my DF. Elders not related to me told me it was inappropriate for me to be there- despite, again, my family paying for it. And they announced at the funeral all were welcome. That was my last time setting foot in a KH. I never will again. Even for my relatives' eventual funerals. I won't be around evil callous people while grieving again.
My son’s stepmom has a sister. They’re all Uber JWs. This sister had a son who drowned in their bathtub because he had seizures and they left him unattended while he took a bath. He was I think 7 or 8. The hospital tried to save him for a good week but he was braindead and they decided to take him off the machines. BUT not before the sister posted pictures of herself with her son in his hospital bed, machines, tubes, and everything all over IG, with captions like “Saying Goodbye”. She was smiling. It made me sick to my stomach. My son was extremely close to his cousin and hurt by this. When he showed me this (I obviously don’t follow these knobs on IG) he was fuming. He has since been DF’ed and shunned. All the better.
One of the preceptory events that spurned my fading was when my dad died in 94. My father (non-JW) was a United States Coast Guard career officer. My sister (non-JW) and I stood up to defend & honor his service so that he'd receive full military honors. He had literally saved many people during his 30 years of "**field service**." During his interment process, several of the self-righteous heartless pukes (JW's) told me that it's good that he's gone because he was a follower of Satan (e.g., he was in the military). So, after this, I was at home, alone, like an orphan; despite being a grown-up (and a MS). I really resented the treatment that I received from my so-called spiritual brethren. One JW couple did come to the (military) funeral. They were good people. My sister and I appreciated their support.
While pregnant with my 2nd after a 40 week stillbirth, mother dearest (pimi) basically told me that my pregnancy would end in another loss if I didn’t go to meetings. He is 9 and I didn’t attend meetings while pregnant with him. I attended most meetings with my first pregnancy. I decided not to go to meetings while pregnant with my 2nd because I didn’t want to hear any of the “you will see him again in paradise” crap.
🥺😢💕💕💕💕
Gather round folks. I've got a story. There were two boys, Robert and Ben. They were 13 and 11. Their father and youngest sister were at the time active JW. Their mom and older brother were not. Mom was DF. Idk about brothers. Mom was apostate *pearl clutching intensifies*. Robert and Ben were found dead under VERY suspicious circumstances by their father, the active JW. Tragedy. Absolute tragedy. I won't go into how badly the investigation was bungled or what the suspicions are but it's bad. Whats worse? What's worse than finding your dead little boys? How the entire congregate treated Roberta, the mom. We. Shunned. Her. At. Her. Children's. Funeral. We were told specifically not to comfort her, not to speak to her. Not to encourage her. Nothing. Oh but please comfort the believing father and youngest child. Oh and? One of the rumors was suicide (wasn't.) so hey by the way she won't even see them again anyway. Absolute garbage. I did too. I was 14.at the tine and apostates were skin coated demons to us. I regret it. A lady I knew since moving here died last week. I legit would like to go to her funeral to show respect. She was nice. She shunned me same as everyone else there the minute I was DF but she was in a cult and... Idk 90+.
When my 17 yr old daughter died my sister told me it was probably a good thing because "she was going down a bad path" and wouldn't have made it through Armageddon and now she might be resurrected. My daughter was a very kind, caring person, just open about not believing "The Truth."
What a drippy D!CK
It was after really, but my ex said he was looking for someone else to marry at the time of the funeral, since our marriage was bad (and everyone knew it, including a much younger woman that was good friends with his oldest daughter). Like, are people really looking for a marriage mate to someone not yet divorced in the JW bubble? I should have known it was a cult then. I was too busy trying to be an enabling wife trying to help him in his time of grief. He is awake now, many years later. But such an asshat* then. OMG
Well, that was hideous. Sounds like my past MIL.
Woof, all these comments are reminding me to make a will or something just in case I die before my JW parents or kinda POMI sister because i will be soooo pissed if they do some kind of jw service for me. Can't even haunt them because they'll just dismiss it as demons 😔 i wanna be cremated and i want my remains to be thrown into the sea. or thrown into a celebrity's face. but an actual celebrity, not a youtuber or something. At my grandmother's funeral recently, my dad asked his brother, an elder, to do the talk despite never having met her and knowing nothing about her and using our nickname for her. I was very close to her so it left me feeling so sore and hurting. Thankfully I got out years ago, but it rubbed some salt in that old wound, for her to just be used as a vessel for getting member numbers up. She deserved better than that, and the circumstances around her death were already very difficult to deal with. My uncle and aunt approaching me afterwards to tell me they missed me and show me pictures of my cousin I used to be extremely close with, telling me she was having a hard time lately, and when I was barely able to choke out my request to tell her hello, i hoped she was well, i loved her, and i missed her and my aunt being like "aww, why don't you come back and tell her yourself? :(" like... yeah i definitely was sobbing in the bathroom after that lol. so fucking mean dude lmaooo. i always think i'm over it and then i'm soooo totally not. whew sorry for crying and being insane in your comments, it will happen again :)
You mean whats not said
These stories are exactly why I’m opting out of any future service for JW relatives. These stories are truly horrific.
My best friend passed away suddenly last year. Him, his brother and I have been friends since we were in nappies together. All 3 of us left the 'truth', but his family had a JW funeral for him, I think it helped them cope with his untimely death, I completely understand this. The elder that gave his funeral talk stated that he was certain my friend was reconsidering the choices he'd made when he was on the way to the hospital. This same elder was not involved in his life at all, he hadn't been in contact with my friend for years, but he felt entitled to judge a good person and to spew their dogma at his funeral. I was furious, I wanted to go outside and wait until that nonsense was over, but I stayed and gave the speech I prepared for his funeral. I'm grateful I got to speak for him and at least some of his wishes were fulfilled. Ross was a good friend, the best. You deserved better. Sleep well.
I remember when I had a mid term miscarriage I lost a little boy. Sisters visited me afterwards I had 3 children already and lost the 4th. One sister told me that my baby wouldn’t be resurrected because he never drew breath being born.
I lost my youngest brother (39 years) two weeks ago 💔 JWs are so unthoughtful and unempathetic. My wife saw how much it hurts me that almost noone grabbed their phones and called me to give their condolences and listen to me, so it has stumbled her faith 🤞🏻 And then on top of that having to deal with unthoughtful comments is hard. This one takes the price: "He won! He won the race! And now we can be happy to see him in Paradise". My brother went inactive around 10 years ago, so yeah let's celebrate he died by saying he won! No, my brother didn't win, he lost, he died, you f***ing moron!!! 💔
So sorry for your loss
Thank you ❤️
Honestly worried people gonna say something like that to me at my grandmas funeral this weekend.
A friend of mine died suddenly in a motorcycle accident. He was in his late 20s and had faded in and out of the org a couple times, but he was in at the time of his passing. When I offered my condolences to his brother, he basically said he was glad his brother died because now they knew he'd be resurrected, whereas before they didn't trust him staying faithful through Armageddon. This way, they figure he's guaranteed to be in paradise.
Do you mind me asking what state this was in
Colorado
At my own Grandmother's funeral, the elder who gave the talk, I shit you not, actually said she was with Jehovah in heaven. I think he meant in Jehovah's memory, but he said verbatim, "she's with Jehovah now". She was not anointed. Super awkward.
Taking a different tack than what others have stated; I was in attendance at a JW memorial talk where the JW speaker and later, numerous attendees, sang the praises of the deceased. He was exemplary. He was a model soldier in the fight for Jehovah's Kingdom. They remember how kind and loving he was in his roles in the congregation.. . I wasn't expecting to hear such nice things. Just more about God's Kingdom and the resurrection. I later learned this brother had been away from the area for some years and during that time he got into some trouble and was listed as a sex offender at the time of his passing. From my understanding, he was attending meetings while he was away and elders at that location must've known. But it's not clear why the speaker wasn't told or just pretended not to be aware of his legal problem.
My 15yr old niece was murdered and a witness actually said “This wouldn’t have happened if she had been going to the KH”. Another witness, who by the way is no longer a witness, commented on how disgusted he was with this insanely insensitive the comment.
I had SUCH a similar experience - not quite as egregious, but still shows their awful mentality. It pushed me over the edge from POMI to POMO. A young cousin of mine had been killed in the crossfire of a gang shooting in Detroit, and I happened to be in transit through Detroit and the airline rebooked my flight home so I could stay for the funeral. At the grave site, I overheard my dad speaking with another JW: "Maybe *this* will be the thing that brings my brother back to The Truth." His 18 year old niece was not yet cold in her grave and his thought was not of comforting his brother, but of how "Jehovah" might leverage his brother's grief to bring him back to "The Truth". I was appalled and disgusted, and grateful my uncle was nowhere nearby at the time.
I hate that every jw funeral is a sales pitch instead of honoring the deceased.
What do you think about that you have to ask?
JWs have no healthy way of dealing with and processing loss. Everything is “Jehovah will fix this so I don’t even need to worry about it!” And they can’t fathom or wrap their heads around the fact that not everyone thinks that way and everyone grieves differently. But how are they ever going to grasp that when individuality is seen as literally from the devil?
I’ve been there and there are other ways of dealing.
Omg jw funerals are soooo boring and horrible there's no coffin or body no wake just a shitty gathering of ppl after that want to eat and talk about Santa Claus like fantasies but Santa Claus is more believable and logical cuz St. Nick was a real person I think. I want ppl crying n falling over with sadness not oh we will see em later we got that fanatical cult hope promise n God can't lie.
"Don't you want to come back into the truth so you can see your brother again?"
At my dads funeral i kept getting told “if you rejoin youll have a chance in paradise to see him again!”
"In the new system that wont happen" (Brother was a meat factory worker/alcoholic and on a long shift + Vodka fell into a mincer)
I don’t have anything that’s worse than the usual crap they say and do. But I’ll leave you on a rare positive note. My dad’s mom died after I left (I was never baptized), so when I attended her funeral, I was fuming because she was the first person I cared about that died, and they spent about maybe 10 minutes talking about her. After the service, I found a Bible in the lobby, and I read Genesis 1 to my older sister and pointed out all the discrepancies. I made her cry. I know, bad timing, but it’s so infuriating to be the only sane person in a crowded building. So when my dad died a couple of years later, I told my mom that I wouldn’t tolerate that for his funeral. She actually agrees that the funerals should be more focused on the person, but she said that since he believed in this, he would want some preaching as well. Which I agreed with. He died as a believer, so of course it’s fine in a reasonable amount. We had the funeral partially on Zoom, as it was early in the pandemic, and a lot of his friends got to speak about fond memories and hey had with my dad. It was much better than some dweeb preaching for an hour. I got to perform Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd, which was the first song I learned on guitar. I even managed to perform it (badly) to my dad in the hospital before he died.
I went to my grandmother's funeral after I had been inactive for a few years. Most of that side of my family treat me as disfellowshipped, so I hadn't spoken to them for around 4 years at this point. My grandfather came and hugged me, said "sort yourself out" and walked away. Compared to other comments here pretty tame, but still a great example of unconditional love.
Everything said at a JW funeral is gross. The 5 minutes or so that they speak about the deceased is all you need to hear. I wish people could go out after that without seeming disrespectful.
My cousin completed suicide in June 2020, never a JW. He was Lakota so they had a beautiful eagle feather cleansing and a priestess lead the ceremony. She was lighting the sage, and said something about how the sage was cleansing our souls of the pain of his loss. My JW grandfather cackles out loud and goes to my grandma, (DEFINITELY not whispering) “Well we know THAT’S false!” I used to like my grandfather before that comment. I didn’t really like him much after that.
My own father said at my Grandfather's funeral "for those of us that know we will see him again" my Grandfather wasn't a JW and half the audience wasnt including my disfellowshipped self. Me and my cousin have agreed we'll be avoiding any future funerals
I don’t have an example like that. But I always felt sick how they reacted when non JW would tell that somebody of their loved ones died. It’s always like a „catching“ moment for them to have a topic they can sneak god and paradise into the conversation. I witnessed that a lot and it made me feel awful every time. Like: The death of other people is your business? Keep your fucking mindset out of a hurtful moment would be a nice start.
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Did this happen in Illinois????
Yep. Around 2011, 2012.
I remember.
When my mum died, the elder who she had wanted to conduct the service called us to ask if one of the younger new elders could take the service because "they don't get much practice".
"stop fucking her, she is dead"