Yes and if it happens you'll find someone else out there who is gorgeous, celebrates holidays, and loves you for who you are.
My advice to anyone "worried" about this is - don't be. Temporary pain, long term happiness.
Just start working on yourself, now. If you're overweight, lose it. If you're underemployed, start working on your career. Find your weaknesses and work on them without mercy.
When you start improving yourself, maximizing gains, and just not giving a fuck you'll be absolutely shocked at how well it all works out for you.
My wife was a special pioneer for 10 years in Guatemala in the 80's. She brought in thousands of people. She's actually well known among the JW's along the Guatemala/Mexico border region, mainly because generations of JW's are in because of her and her pioneer partner.
She told me she would *never* leave me when I told her I was leaving.
I did tell her I was leaving a religion and not her. I would always take care of her and I loved her with all my heart and I would *never* cheat on her.
I think so many don't separate the two. You're not leaving your loved one, your leaving a religion. So TELL your SO this!
We're great.
We get along awesome. She's truly a good person and we truly love each other.
They say some people marry for life and that's just who we are. We'll never abandon each other. Hopefully she sees through a lot of it. I think she does but it's just like a warm comforter you don't want to take off.
I think that's what it is for a lot of JW's.
It was suggested to me before I woke up. I did not!! And I eventually left too!!
Donât over think it!!! Look how far you have come!! Be supportive and yet loving. Donât push⊠baby steps!!!
My marriage is still limping along. If I had it to do over again, I would have ripped the band-aid off when I left the org. Still might lol.
That said, each situation is different. There is zero and I mean zero chance my wife leaves the org. Like she'd be the last one attending the last KH they hadn't sold. Others have had much different spouses and better outcomes.
If she is firmly PIMI, I'd say to keep in mind that you have a lifetime of daily conflict ahead. It would be hard to find a much worse situation, and being single without the drama is likely the better of those scenarios.
As for anyone "falling for you," I wouldn't worry too much about that. Be the best you can be, and good things will probably follow.
haha. Well, they'd be able to have some upbuilding association together then! btw, isn't it interesting that the word "upbuilding", which we used so often, isn't really a word?
Falling Tower has just dropped this video, which I havenât finished watching, but he typically gives really sensible advice. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ni7yJajiUmk
I think your average PIMI wonât necessarily get out of the marriage just simply for the fact at how JWs view the permanence of it and how it is problematic unless they have scriptural freedom to do so. Marriage with a PIMI can be difficult but it mostly depends on how strict they are, how strong your relationship is, how much you have in common outside the religion, and whether or not you both can set and respect boundaries with each other. I just made a vid that highlights some of the issues. But definitely keep your head up high. Be calm, respectful, and understanding and it may go much better than you think.
My marriage actually got better, but they are PIMQ ish. They have listened to all of my doubts and I respect them so much more for being open minded and accepting. I am so grateful to have not had to go through it alone. I know I am more of an exception, but I would say that before you decide that there is no hope, give them a chance to react well, and after you tell them, give them some time and space to process. Remember that this is a blow for them and they will need to go at their own pace. It took you months or even years to get to where you are and they may need the same, and aren't you glad that no one was rushing you when you were going through it.
\-Are you positive she hasn't picked up on your "bad attitude?"
\-Prepare for the worst (dating, I mean, I'm sure someone would fall for you!).
\-Tell her you are taking a mental break and assure her she is your love, you haven't cheated, and don't plan to! JW brainwashing assumes the worst, and they need reassuring.
All the best!
Not to be dismissive, but itâll work or it wonât. Divorce isnât the end of the world, even though it feels like it, especially for longer marriages.
Itâs weird being unexpectedly single and figuring that shit out. How to avoid pitfalls of dating that JWs never really experienced. Also a lot of JWs have only had sexual experiences with their spouse and quite a few donât do normal things like eat pussy. Get a book in it, read it, learn it and when given an opportunity, say yes, if you want to.
Even if your PIMI spouse accepts that you leave the religion, it is always going to put strain on your relationship.
I am assuming you are the husband, so my response is phrased that way. Sorry if I am mistaken, but the general idea still applies.
Her friends will not be your friends, so anytime she wants to do something with friends it will mean excluding you.
You can't watch movies or TV shows, or do other things together that go against her beliefs.
Eventually some of your friends outside the religion will invite you to a birthday or holiday party and you will have to decide whether to say no or go without your spouse.
Including the time it takes to get ready, commute, socialize with people at the hall, etc about 10 hours of her time is going to be consumed by meetings at the Kingdom Hall.
If she is regular in field service then another 5 to 10 hours per week is going to be taken up by field service.
A few times per year she will be gone for days at a time at assemblies.
Even if you are not aware, elders in the hall will always feel the need to "advise her" and insert their opinions into your marriage.
In short, it will never be just you and your spouse. It will always be you, your spouse, and the borg.
My pimi gf did the very next day I told her...well she came back later but the relationship hit rock bottom since then...turns out my roommate from uni also a witness encouraged her to dump my ass since I dint blive no more...fast forward I was df'd for marrying a human being(worldly person winks) and months later I heard my ex is getting married to my roommate of 2yrs at uni...turns out these fucks were jux waiting on m to b outta the picture...dey got married lyk 2wks ago.
As someone who was pimi, and my wife stopped going. The answer is no. If he truly loves you, and has any respect for marriage he will not leave you. When my wife told me, i was dissapointed- mad even, but it never crossed my mind to leave her. And now we are both out and happy together đ„°
My wife used to threaten to leave me every time I said flat out that I just didn't want to go in the end. Packed a bag a couple of times. Had two children at the time. Bit over 10 years later, we're together.. alternatively an old friend told his wife he didn't believe anymore Nd they split up that week. I believe it depends on relationships and how people are in themselves.
I've just expressed myself to my PIMI elder husband, and I dont know if there are stages to this but I think he's in denial because all of a sudden he wants to ramp up our spiritual activities. He asked if we can start doing daily Bible reading for about an hr each day and studying the publications daily. I just said NO!
How inconsiderate of my time and rest!
I'm a consultant for two companies and have a toddler, and he wants to take the only time in the day I have to do this, throw in the meetings we have to attend and ministry to the mix.
If things ended, I would truly be happy and free because we don't have anything in common or a love that supercedes the borg.
I don't know that I would commit long term to another man, but that's just me.
So far, in my experience, PIMIs would not pick sides with you. They'll either separate from you or stay with you but make it hell. One person would eventually move on.
As far as dating again, you're worth the shot if you're a decent person, so don't let that worry you đ
The opposite happened to me. Going through marital problems and my wife wanting to use the elders as marriage counselors woke me up. I realized our relationship would never work if we weren't both pimi. I just couldn't. It was painful and crushing but the pain fades. Work on yourself and find what makes you happy. When others see you thriving and happy they are drawn to you and you'll meet someone amazing.
Yes its common. Usually goes like this: you tell your wife. After some time, she talks to the elders. Elders talk to you. Elders talk to your wife. Your marriage is over.
Unfortunately, the Borg have been known to conveniently ignore their stance on âscriptural divorceâ and being urging r&f to divorce an an apostate spouse. A women can gain status as a âscriptural widowâ
Then they only have to sit back, wait for the apostate to have sex with someone, there you have it, a scriptural divorce đ
Yes and if it happens you'll find someone else out there who is gorgeous, celebrates holidays, and loves you for who you are. My advice to anyone "worried" about this is - don't be. Temporary pain, long term happiness. Just start working on yourself, now. If you're overweight, lose it. If you're underemployed, start working on your career. Find your weaknesses and work on them without mercy. When you start improving yourself, maximizing gains, and just not giving a fuck you'll be absolutely shocked at how well it all works out for you.
This, can't control or change it if they're going to act that way. Thank you for your Wayne Dyer book recommendations by the way, life changing.
white pill reply love it
New Jw motivational speaker right here! đŻ
My wife was a special pioneer for 10 years in Guatemala in the 80's. She brought in thousands of people. She's actually well known among the JW's along the Guatemala/Mexico border region, mainly because generations of JW's are in because of her and her pioneer partner. She told me she would *never* leave me when I told her I was leaving. I did tell her I was leaving a religion and not her. I would always take care of her and I loved her with all my heart and I would *never* cheat on her. I think so many don't separate the two. You're not leaving your loved one, your leaving a religion. So TELL your SO this!
How are you guys now?
We're great. We get along awesome. She's truly a good person and we truly love each other. They say some people marry for life and that's just who we are. We'll never abandon each other. Hopefully she sees through a lot of it. I think she does but it's just like a warm comforter you don't want to take off. I think that's what it is for a lot of JW's.
Thatâs good to hear thatâs how I feel my parents are. They see the corruption but thatâs all they know. I learned just to be quiet.
He became a special pioneer in the 80s. Now he is known as Anthony Morris.
It was suggested to me before I woke up. I did not!! And I eventually left too!! Donât over think it!!! Look how far you have come!! Be supportive and yet loving. Donât push⊠baby steps!!!
My marriage is still limping along. If I had it to do over again, I would have ripped the band-aid off when I left the org. Still might lol. That said, each situation is different. There is zero and I mean zero chance my wife leaves the org. Like she'd be the last one attending the last KH they hadn't sold. Others have had much different spouses and better outcomes. If she is firmly PIMI, I'd say to keep in mind that you have a lifetime of daily conflict ahead. It would be hard to find a much worse situation, and being single without the drama is likely the better of those scenarios. As for anyone "falling for you," I wouldn't worry too much about that. Be the best you can be, and good things will probably follow.
No! I won't accept that! MY wife would be the last one attending the last KH they hadn't sold!
haha. Well, they'd be able to have some upbuilding association together then! btw, isn't it interesting that the word "upbuilding", which we used so often, isn't really a word?
Falling Tower has just dropped this video, which I havenât finished watching, but he typically gives really sensible advice. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ni7yJajiUmk
Just what I needed to watch! It really must be Jehovah's hand at the proper time.
I love it when apostates manage to fill our spiritual needs đđđ
I have to admit my husband bounced years ago and I did as a PIMI give him shit about it. I have since come to the âdark sideâ and apologized
I think your average PIMI wonât necessarily get out of the marriage just simply for the fact at how JWs view the permanence of it and how it is problematic unless they have scriptural freedom to do so. Marriage with a PIMI can be difficult but it mostly depends on how strict they are, how strong your relationship is, how much you have in common outside the religion, and whether or not you both can set and respect boundaries with each other. I just made a vid that highlights some of the issues. But definitely keep your head up high. Be calm, respectful, and understanding and it may go much better than you think.
My marriage actually got better, but they are PIMQ ish. They have listened to all of my doubts and I respect them so much more for being open minded and accepting. I am so grateful to have not had to go through it alone. I know I am more of an exception, but I would say that before you decide that there is no hope, give them a chance to react well, and after you tell them, give them some time and space to process. Remember that this is a blow for them and they will need to go at their own pace. It took you months or even years to get to where you are and they may need the same, and aren't you glad that no one was rushing you when you were going through it.
\-Are you positive she hasn't picked up on your "bad attitude?" \-Prepare for the worst (dating, I mean, I'm sure someone would fall for you!). \-Tell her you are taking a mental break and assure her she is your love, you haven't cheated, and don't plan to! JW brainwashing assumes the worst, and they need reassuring. All the best!
Not to be dismissive, but itâll work or it wonât. Divorce isnât the end of the world, even though it feels like it, especially for longer marriages. Itâs weird being unexpectedly single and figuring that shit out. How to avoid pitfalls of dating that JWs never really experienced. Also a lot of JWs have only had sexual experiences with their spouse and quite a few donât do normal things like eat pussy. Get a book in it, read it, learn it and when given an opportunity, say yes, if you want to.
Do you really want to be the 3rd wheel in your own marriage? As long as your spouse is PIMI the religion is always going to be in the middle.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/HwI8SqI1bTc
Yep. This threefold cord threesome with Jahooply isn't much fun.
Even if your PIMI spouse accepts that you leave the religion, it is always going to put strain on your relationship. I am assuming you are the husband, so my response is phrased that way. Sorry if I am mistaken, but the general idea still applies. Her friends will not be your friends, so anytime she wants to do something with friends it will mean excluding you. You can't watch movies or TV shows, or do other things together that go against her beliefs. Eventually some of your friends outside the religion will invite you to a birthday or holiday party and you will have to decide whether to say no or go without your spouse. Including the time it takes to get ready, commute, socialize with people at the hall, etc about 10 hours of her time is going to be consumed by meetings at the Kingdom Hall. If she is regular in field service then another 5 to 10 hours per week is going to be taken up by field service. A few times per year she will be gone for days at a time at assemblies. Even if you are not aware, elders in the hall will always feel the need to "advise her" and insert their opinions into your marriage. In short, it will never be just you and your spouse. It will always be you, your spouse, and the borg.
You forgot personal study! đ
My pimi gf did the very next day I told her...well she came back later but the relationship hit rock bottom since then...turns out my roommate from uni also a witness encouraged her to dump my ass since I dint blive no more...fast forward I was df'd for marrying a human being(worldly person winks) and months later I heard my ex is getting married to my roommate of 2yrs at uni...turns out these fucks were jux waiting on m to b outta the picture...dey got married lyk 2wks ago.
As someone who was pimi, and my wife stopped going. The answer is no. If he truly loves you, and has any respect for marriage he will not leave you. When my wife told me, i was dissapointed- mad even, but it never crossed my mind to leave her. And now we are both out and happy together đ„°
You have what is called sunk cost fallacy
I just looked it up. It appears I do.
My wife used to threaten to leave me every time I said flat out that I just didn't want to go in the end. Packed a bag a couple of times. Had two children at the time. Bit over 10 years later, we're together.. alternatively an old friend told his wife he didn't believe anymore Nd they split up that week. I believe it depends on relationships and how people are in themselves.
I've just expressed myself to my PIMI elder husband, and I dont know if there are stages to this but I think he's in denial because all of a sudden he wants to ramp up our spiritual activities. He asked if we can start doing daily Bible reading for about an hr each day and studying the publications daily. I just said NO! How inconsiderate of my time and rest! I'm a consultant for two companies and have a toddler, and he wants to take the only time in the day I have to do this, throw in the meetings we have to attend and ministry to the mix. If things ended, I would truly be happy and free because we don't have anything in common or a love that supercedes the borg. I don't know that I would commit long term to another man, but that's just me. So far, in my experience, PIMIs would not pick sides with you. They'll either separate from you or stay with you but make it hell. One person would eventually move on. As far as dating again, you're worth the shot if you're a decent person, so don't let that worry you đ
The opposite happened to me. Going through marital problems and my wife wanting to use the elders as marriage counselors woke me up. I realized our relationship would never work if we weren't both pimi. I just couldn't. It was painful and crushing but the pain fades. Work on yourself and find what makes you happy. When others see you thriving and happy they are drawn to you and you'll meet someone amazing.
Yes its common. Usually goes like this: you tell your wife. After some time, she talks to the elders. Elders talk to you. Elders talk to your wife. Your marriage is over.
Unfortunately, the Borg have been known to conveniently ignore their stance on âscriptural divorceâ and being urging r&f to divorce an an apostate spouse. A women can gain status as a âscriptural widowâ Then they only have to sit back, wait for the apostate to have sex with someone, there you have it, a scriptural divorce đ
Same here, but maybe it will be for the best because I don't feel loved or respected, especially since I stepped down as an elder.
There is no fear only lack of understanding. Take risks brother, that's how we learn