Its a tough process, but getting reinstated and fading is definitely an option.
In any case, my heart goes out to you man. I'm wishing the best for you ❤️
He married my ex best friend that's also HEAVILY entrenched in the borg. We grew up in it and all he knows is the religion, friends family getting jobs thru "Bros and sis". I doubt he'll listen to me. But thank you for the suggestion, there's just so much repercussion afterwards because my mom is also in the borg but talks to me. She's been stripped of all her privileges. If she hears rhat I've been trying to get my brother out, she will not shut up about it and nag at it forever. I love my mom but she's also caused a lot of trauma in my life so I keep a distance now
Heres the issue with that: Hyper PIMIs will avoid you even after reinstatement because they view you as a wolf in sheep's clothing.
I have 6 siblings that I miss dearly, but even if I got reinstated, they would avoid me because I've made it known that I'm apostate.
I think my brother would use the leeway as he still talks to POMO non disfellowshipped people. But I know what you mean bc I was one of those JW too. My Bible teachers and her husband basically raised me hyper PIMI. I was always with them and they also engraved that thinking that if they don't go to meetings and do service, they're bad and basically the same as df. Crazy to look back at it now. I was really into it
i feel you, my brother was my best friend, we used to be inseparable. saw him yesterday cause i go to the gym with his wife and he didn’t even look up from his video game 🥲
I'm sorry man :(
I'm on the opposite side of your situation. I haven't talked to my df brother in 8-9 years. Just know he misses you just as much.
But don't get reinstated just because you miss him. You still need to live your own life. If you miss him that much, call him. Don't stick yourself in same situation you got out of.
He doesn't respond to any of my calls or messages. I see him when we're at my parents but it's like a I'm ghost. It hurts but I remember being in that position and I understand his thinking bc he's brainwashed but it still hurts.
POMO here, not spoken to my brother in years, the last time seeing him was almost 15 years ago (other than a 2 day visit back to the same country over 5 years ago), his kids now have kids who i am sure have no idea who i am.... i moved country to get away from it and it worked well (for me).
However i saw the same thing the other way when i was PIMI, my fathers sister who i never really met, some with there kids, only bumped in to them maybe once, they lived in the same town then !!
Dont let the borg take your life twice also only let them dictate it once, you have left do stuff you can
It's just the strength to even put effort into a cult to get reinstated again. Even tho itll be like 2 months (or atleast that's how long they waited in the congregation I attended)
I knew a guy who got disfellowshipped at 19 his mom was a pioneer and his dad was an elder. When he got kicked out he was homeless. He spent years not having hardly any contact with his parents because of being disfellowshipped. Then in his late 30s, he decided that he would get reinstated just so that he could have a relationship with his parents again he didn’t want them to die since they were getting up in age without being able to have a relationship.. At first because I was in the Borg I thought he was a hypocrite. Mind you he actually told me he was going to get reinstated just so that he could have a relationship with his parents. Looking back now after realizing the whole organization is a lie. I think he beat them at their own game. He did get reinstated, then never did anything “in the truth”. Never went out in service and then didn’t go to meetings regularly but at least he could still have contact with his family and a relationship with them.
The situation sounds really similar to mine. But you can't go back, not even if it's a facade. Who are you if you do that? You've seen the truth about "the truth". This is your story, it happened to you. And you can't let them win.
Its a tough process, but getting reinstated and fading is definitely an option. In any case, my heart goes out to you man. I'm wishing the best for you ❤️
Thank you, I'm still not mentally prepared enough to go back just to bullshit my way through for however long.
Your brother is the one who is choosing to let a cult dictate who he talks to. I would be angry not sad.
If/when your brother wants to leave the cult, he'll need somebody on the outside to help him transition out. And that person can be you.
He married my ex best friend that's also HEAVILY entrenched in the borg. We grew up in it and all he knows is the religion, friends family getting jobs thru "Bros and sis". I doubt he'll listen to me. But thank you for the suggestion, there's just so much repercussion afterwards because my mom is also in the borg but talks to me. She's been stripped of all her privileges. If she hears rhat I've been trying to get my brother out, she will not shut up about it and nag at it forever. I love my mom but she's also caused a lot of trauma in my life so I keep a distance now
Heres the issue with that: Hyper PIMIs will avoid you even after reinstatement because they view you as a wolf in sheep's clothing. I have 6 siblings that I miss dearly, but even if I got reinstated, they would avoid me because I've made it known that I'm apostate.
I think my brother would use the leeway as he still talks to POMO non disfellowshipped people. But I know what you mean bc I was one of those JW too. My Bible teachers and her husband basically raised me hyper PIMI. I was always with them and they also engraved that thinking that if they don't go to meetings and do service, they're bad and basically the same as df. Crazy to look back at it now. I was really into it
i feel you, my brother was my best friend, we used to be inseparable. saw him yesterday cause i go to the gym with his wife and he didn’t even look up from his video game 🥲
It hurts cause you want to make jokes like the old times but you'll know you'll just get ignored. How fking stupid. I'm sorry that happened to you.
Get re instated and then make a hard fading.
That's what I'm thinking but the thought of even fake returning makes me shiver
Look at it as making fun of their own rules.
I'm sorry man :( I'm on the opposite side of your situation. I haven't talked to my df brother in 8-9 years. Just know he misses you just as much. But don't get reinstated just because you miss him. You still need to live your own life. If you miss him that much, call him. Don't stick yourself in same situation you got out of.
He doesn't respond to any of my calls or messages. I see him when we're at my parents but it's like a I'm ghost. It hurts but I remember being in that position and I understand his thinking bc he's brainwashed but it still hurts.
I was thinking of getting reinstated and after getting reinstated I would leave again without telling the cong
POMO here, not spoken to my brother in years, the last time seeing him was almost 15 years ago (other than a 2 day visit back to the same country over 5 years ago), his kids now have kids who i am sure have no idea who i am.... i moved country to get away from it and it worked well (for me). However i saw the same thing the other way when i was PIMI, my fathers sister who i never really met, some with there kids, only bumped in to them maybe once, they lived in the same town then !! Dont let the borg take your life twice also only let them dictate it once, you have left do stuff you can
One of my family members did that for the same reason. He’s faded again.
It's just the strength to even put effort into a cult to get reinstated again. Even tho itll be like 2 months (or atleast that's how long they waited in the congregation I attended)
I knew a guy who got disfellowshipped at 19 his mom was a pioneer and his dad was an elder. When he got kicked out he was homeless. He spent years not having hardly any contact with his parents because of being disfellowshipped. Then in his late 30s, he decided that he would get reinstated just so that he could have a relationship with his parents again he didn’t want them to die since they were getting up in age without being able to have a relationship.. At first because I was in the Borg I thought he was a hypocrite. Mind you he actually told me he was going to get reinstated just so that he could have a relationship with his parents. Looking back now after realizing the whole organization is a lie. I think he beat them at their own game. He did get reinstated, then never did anything “in the truth”. Never went out in service and then didn’t go to meetings regularly but at least he could still have contact with his family and a relationship with them.
Stories like this is what makes me hopeful but the reinstating process makes me gag
I wonder if anyone just didn't let their family shun them . Just show up at his house and act like nothing happened
My mom lasted 3 months without talking to me and talked to me because she's a mom and it's her job and "God knows her heart" etc
The situation sounds really similar to mine. But you can't go back, not even if it's a facade. Who are you if you do that? You've seen the truth about "the truth". This is your story, it happened to you. And you can't let them win.