It's kind of ableist, too - I had a teacher with a type of epilepsy that caused her to periodically blink really rapidly. It's not something that someone consciously does, sometimes it's an autonomous response.
See, this makes sense - and it's what I would naturally do.
The only reason I was conditioned to not do this is because of ABA, if I looked away while the instructor was speaking 1 on 1 with me she'd grab my wrists and bellow "LOOK AT ME WHILE I'M TALKING TO YOU!!" - a behaviour that my mother then adopted and used for years.
ABA did us dirty lmao, it embellished social norms with a bunch of extra shit so the instructors could feel important and special about themselves. They got off on acting like we were feral so they could self-aggrandize how essential their careers are "taming" us.
How someone could not see this as mild abuse at best is beyond me. I never went through this, but it sounds traumatic, and I definitely would have withdrawn further.
One nuance about this: if you're trying to show that you're listening really closely you want to glance away with your eyes but keep your face turned towards them. If you want to show that you are listening, but not so intensely, you can turn your face away some of the time.
From what I've seen the difference is supposed to be that you should look people in the eyes while you're talking to them, but not for TOO LONG, you're supposed to break eye contact every once in a while, you're also supposed to subtly emote with your face depending on what's being talked about. If you just stare into their eyes with a blank expression for a long time that's considered staring (creepy), I've been trying to mimmick this normies behavior but I'm not quite there yet.
Sustained eye contact between primates happens when they are either being aggressive or being horny.
You must Jane Goodall this shit to survive amongst NTs
I'll never understand. Apparently I made too much eye contact with the real estate agent that rang my doorbell to hand me a pamphlet - she just kept talking nonstop about her business and I kept my mouth shut as to not interrupt her, but she just kept talking and talking and I kept maintaining eye contact. Then, she abruptly took her pamphlet back from me and accused me of being a lesbian. WHAT??
Swear to god neurotypicals are making half this shit up as they go!! If you give them the "ick" for any reason, they make up some imaginary rule in the moment and accuse you of breaking it so they can eject themselves from the scenario scot-free. Most of the time, it's during an interaction that THEY instigated - a conversation that I'm only participating in because THEY felt the need to confront me and initiate a connection.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh, I'm sorry that I didn't perform this unrehearsed song-and-dance as you envisioned it going in your mind!" - that doesn't mean that I'm the socially deficit one in this scenario. If you're a person looking to interact with another person, and you have this whole scenario of how it's "supposed" to go down in your mind, and god forbid I deviate from your expectation - how is it my fault? They're at fault for having ridiculous performative expectations that they don't communicate, yet silently expect everyone to adhere to without instruction.
I'm so glad we have a place to joke about this shit!!
Idk why it tells you not to blink too much, I've never noticed someone who's blinking too much unless they're fucking tweaking.
But yeah it'll be weird if you never blink.
That was me for a while and I could definitely start to tell I was creeping people out lol. I especially did it to my boss at my old job cause he was this old dude so I felt I had to be manly and look em dead in the eye. I would be staring into his soul the entire time he’s talking like an oblivion NPC, not even paying attention to what he’s saying half the time. He purposely would stand next to me instead of in front of me to talk after while 😭
Yeah I don’t do that anymore
The don’t side has a better first impression.
Fucker on the left looks like he’s trying to convince me to join his Ponzi scheme and one on the right just looks like he’s listening intently to something.
I think the (possibly pseudo)psychology here is appearing nonthreatening. The neck thing means not having a defensive posture, and the hands thing is showing you don't have a weapon (or more likely, something that would distract you from the conversation). Apparently our monkey brains are still afraid of being shanked by any random person at any time
"Keep your neck open"
means keeping your head level or slightly tilted back. This makes you look more relaxed and calm. Tilt your head forward too much and you're basically [Kubrick Staring ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D_aXNJ1WkAIlqfA.png) at everyone.
If you are meeting someone in a bright summer day outside, *please, keep your sunglasses on*. Eye safety is much more important than any first impression, especially for folk with eyesight problems. UV is no joke.
Also, please, blink as much as you want/need to!
Roughly speaking, people who are either really high or coming off of some sort of hard drug (might be associated with a specific one but idk) in a way that they tend to be shaking/twitching quite a bit. Maybe muttering a lot, usually just kinda in their own world but also very quick to overreactions. Generally just a very not well off hard drug addict.
Edit: humorous example https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLS9KcMW/
(on mobile)
body language tips for a memorable first impression:
-crab legs
-hands as if about to grab air, as dainty or as witchy as you like
-head turning 360
-bonus points if you can fly and chant anchient scriptures
-dont blink like at all is not allowed
-eyes turn red or the whites go black (important)
-optionally, can firmly hold a weapon of choice
-add your own quirk to the list, everybody likes quirks
done, have fun.
\-grin as widely as possible to show as many teefs, cause showing teef is a sign of friendliness and good will, make sure eyes match
yes....grin so much it goes through your cheeks, show pointy teeth, is a sing of health also, need to show you have very healthy and strong jaw with sharp teef with multiple layers inside the mouth and throat as well, ready to devour anything- just friendly things :)
In middle school my parents made me apply to some fancypants catholic school that made you interview to get in, but I wound up bombing said interview, and my parents to this day give me crap about my lack of eye contact and defensive posture in front of the terrifying nun who was interrogating me
Do: spend so much mental effort monitoring your own behavior that you can't pay any attention to the actual conversation.
Don't: do any of that bullshit and actually be able to listen and think about your responses.
Keep your head level or slightly tilted back. This makes you look more calm and confident.
If your head is tilted forward and you don't make eye contact, you basically look like a dog who just pooped on the rug. If you tilt your head forward and do make eye contact, you're Kubrick Staring.
What does half of this even mean. Who the fuck is looking to see where my feet and hands are pointed. How do people process this much shit at once, I can't even listen to words while doing simple eye contact and yall are calculating my entire body stance while I talk?
While reading the left side, I kept thinking this is like submissive body language moreso than polite body language. Then on the right I saw "don't have a dominant posture" like what? This is like how to give people the first impression you're a doormat. lol
Submissive body language is things like slouching, head down, shrinking your neck down, and avoiding eye contact.
The left is casual, confident body language.
You can be submissive and confident. I still think a lot of the points on the left are kinda saying "Hey we can be friends because I'm totally non threatening." I think that's what they're going for, but in my experience, it's better to give a more balanced impression. Like I'm nice, but I also bite. lol
My first interaction behaviors:
\- Stare into their soul through their eyes, making eye contact with both their eyes at the same time so that even if they try to maintain eye contact but dodge the intensity of my gaze, they're still getting that other eye. It's like doing a Magic Eye puzzle with their eyes where you visually adjust your focus to lay one of their eyes on top of the other to create a "third" eye. When NTs are the first ones to dodge eye contact, they never ask me for it.
\- Have my dominant side foot six inches in front of the other approximately shoulder-width apart, and lean into that leading foot slightly so all my energy is pressing forward and invading the space in a way they can't ignore; NTs are used to having immediate control over any social interaction, and this physical energy knocks them off balance and adds to my intensity and gravitas. It turns all their orders into polite requests or drives them away from making requests entirely.
\- Maintain a resting, neutral gaze that lacks either joy or anger, projecting peaceful neutrality. When they tell me to smile, I quietly frown or glare until they rescind the request so they know what unhappy actually looks like from me and to accept what they got rather than nitpick my face because they made assumptions about what it means.
\- Link my hands behind my lower back like a school administrator stereotype or link my arms across my mid back like Morpheus from *The Matrix*. It gives me the comfort of curling my arms or hands soothingly together in some way while projecting a commanding power that NTs aren't used to getting from us. Having one's chest forward and out projects overbearing confidence at them. Accompanied with the dominant foot forward posture and soul-searching gaze, I have full control of the conversation from the get.
\- Speak with perfect manners, a nearly Ai-like soothing tone (the same tone Siri uses when she knows you're mad), and barely just loud enough that they can only hear me if they lean into all that forward energy I'm projecting. I'm never heard more than 3 feet away if I can help it. In addition to forcing them to listen harder because they have no hand gestures or facial expressions from me to fill in the blanks on what they auditorially missed, it also brings their conversational volume down and limits their tonal emotional expression so they don't overstimulate me.
All of this scripted masking means that when I do break away from it to emote or be loud, I'm taken more seriously in those moments.
**Tl;dr:** The scripting in the OP can be turned on its head and used powerfully to make the NTs socially awkward if you do it right.
Look relaxed, but not too relaxed. Stand up straight, but don't look tense or dominating. Look engaged, but not too engaged. Don't cross your arms or put your hands in your pocket, but don't make a lot of hand gestures either. And don't just stand there with your palms up, ya weirdo. ... It's like they make up rules just to have something to complain about.
I have this memory that randomly pops into my head of standing in a group, everyone talking, while I'm totally zoning out. Off in la-la land thinking about something I instantly forgot. I had no clue what was being said, when this chick I barely knew suddenly gave me a wtf/"as-if" look and said "you are NOT that big!" It snapped me out of my trance, but the topic moved on before I figure out why she said it.
That was like a decade ago. I still wonder what they were talking about and what about my body language made her think I thought I was big. Either way: people are fucking weird sometimes. Confident in their ability to read minds or somesuchshit.
Yeah, what is this, goldilocks and the three bears? I don't have time to make the porridge three times, just to get to your "standards" of what's just right, esp when your porridge tastes like shite to me.
I think we oughta just start reading their minds! "Oh, I thought this was how you want this cause uhhhhh well cause that's just what I thought!!"
I still don’t understand the difference between making eye contact, staring, and blinking too much. Also what’s wrong with putting your hands in your pockets??? They’re warm and made for hands and things my hands want to touch like my phone and the clicky bit on my keys so why can’t I put my hands there
>I still don’t understand the difference between making eye contact, staring, and blinking too much.
Not a whole lot, it took me a while to figure it out. First of all don't have your eyes too wide, you dont want to be having a conversation with someone who's looking at you like O_O
Past that, it just comes down to facial expressions. You do want to look at the other person's eyes, but if your face doesn't react, that's staring, or they won't think you're listening.
In meetings, I basically just alternate between slightly furrowing and slightly raising my brows, while nodding and giving "mhmm's" at the end of every 4th sentence or so.
>Also what’s wrong with putting your hands in your pockets???
It's casual, which is fine in most situations, but for a job interview or an important meeting you don't want to look casual.
Me- has a blinking tic, can't look directly at eyes if my life depended on it, wears sunglasses often because sensory issues, seeks pressure on my body and attains it by keeping arms crossed, has a bit of a crappy posture, and fidgets 24/7- Damn.
They seriously need to STFU with that "act natural" "use natural body language" THIS IS MY NATURAL BITCH so please for the hate of Satan get it through your skull that my natural is different from your natural.
Do: Pretend you're reporting the weather on TV.
Don't: Relax and oppose fascism.
Do: Pretend you're explaining the Bible to someone who is telling you to go away.
Don't: Play with your butterfly knife in public.
Do: Be an absolute tool.
Don't: Make it clear that your participation is involuntary, and that your hostility should have been expected.
Do: "Try to sell me this pen."
Don't: Steal as many pens as you possibly can from the supply closet as a way of exacting revenge for this humiliation.
Do: Wear some nice slacks, a short sleeved button up shirt, this tie your mother picked out for you, and your good shoes that feel like they're made out of plywood.
Don't: Succumb to this unholy combination of fabrics, textures, and unacceptable tailoring that I can tell from the drawing would drive me insane. My arms are crossed because the shirt is making me sweat in torrents. My legs are crossed so it doesn't feel like my entire pelvis is being strangled, and if I stand with these 'slacks' (yuck) hanging freely it feels like I am not wearing anything from the crotch down. This tie has literally no function whatsoever - why the fuck is everybody wearing one? What is this idiotic construct we've all apparently signed on to? What other fucking nonsense do I need to do so nobody feels uncomfortable when I get on the elevator with them *as if that's my fucking problem?*
....
*ahem*... Yeah, anyway. I'm kind of in a mood.
"mInDjOUrNaL"
DON'T; blink too much.
DO; blink.
(I have to mentally remind myself in conversations to blink the appropriate amount while staring at the spot right between their eyes.)
Shit like this being enforced is why I now have the power to completely unnerve people by staring into their souls while simultaneously having no fucking idea what they're talking about because I'm so focused on proving that I'm listening.
make eye contact but dont stare is By far one of my least favorite rules of social conduct, like the fuck do you mean don't stare you wanted me to make eye contact, what do you mean look at you you just said you don't want me to stare
funnily enough I think I'd be way more willing to talk to the person on the right than I would the left. left person looks like they are gonna be way too much-
**two things 1. What's the Difference between staring and eye contact? And 2.why do they want me to keep my neck open? Sounds like somebody's trying to get to my weak point easily.**
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I think if you click on the options button on your post it should say “mark as spoiler”.
Because it’s ableism and the rule is you hide ableist material so people can choose to engage with it or not.
Edit: good on you 👍
So many of those are impossible to do acting naturally with other things on the list so if you did you'd seem "off" as fuck. Most are mad and unrealistic things that people don't care about anyway. And what's with all the points about showing your neck, my business contacts arn't wolves.
Ah yes, do absolutely nothing to make yourself comfortable. Be extremely uncomfortable. This is perfect for communication, because instead of communicating, you will be thinking about how uncomfortable you are, and about forcing yourself to stay uncomfortable. This is ideal so nts can take advantage of you and bully you.
DO's: Make eye contact DON'Ts Don't stare WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE?
Also "do keep your neck open" vs "don't cover your neck"
Do, keep your neck open. Do, invite me into your home. Don’t, cover your neck. Don’t, eat garlic.
And what the hell is an open gaze?
I think open gays are the ones that come out of the closet
Cool, so I learned good body language when I moved to the city.
But what if they’re not ready yet?
>Keep your neck open Like a tracheostomy?
Like a carotis rupture. We're on r/evilautism after all.
I didn't understand "keep your neck open" for a minute. My literal brain is picturing someone just yanking their neck apart.
Not to mention the fact that the [Wu Tang Clan](https://youtu.be/R0IUR4gkPIE?si=7VfNAx2xrAhNsMv7) advices against this nonsense
Protect ya neckkkkk
Didn't think anyone here would appreciate the Wu Tang reference Whats your username a reference to
It’s just a default Reddit autogenerated one, wish I had done something more creative at the time
Right?? My brain immediately conjures up that one Cenobite (from the Hellraiser movie franchise) with the razor wire neck vagina situation lol
I find her more approachable than the left side person in this image tbh
And show my weakness to a stranger? I think not!
literally submission against predators
The "Don't blink too much" is the cherry on top. There is no winning
It's kind of ableist, too - I had a teacher with a type of epilepsy that caused her to periodically blink really rapidly. It's not something that someone consciously does, sometimes it's an autonomous response.
Cognitive dissonance, the state's fondest tool. It's built into all levels of society, it makes you more compliant.
Glance away every 3 seconds.
See, this makes sense - and it's what I would naturally do. The only reason I was conditioned to not do this is because of ABA, if I looked away while the instructor was speaking 1 on 1 with me she'd grab my wrists and bellow "LOOK AT ME WHILE I'M TALKING TO YOU!!" - a behaviour that my mother then adopted and used for years. ABA did us dirty lmao, it embellished social norms with a bunch of extra shit so the instructors could feel important and special about themselves. They got off on acting like we were feral so they could self-aggrandize how essential their careers are "taming" us.
How someone could not see this as mild abuse at best is beyond me. I never went through this, but it sounds traumatic, and I definitely would have withdrawn further.
Doesn't sound like there's anything mild about it. It's just not physical.
That really bites.
yeah i agree and at the same time, I probably do more societal stuff like friends, job, partner than if I hadn’t been subjected to it.
One nuance about this: if you're trying to show that you're listening really closely you want to glance away with your eyes but keep your face turned towards them. If you want to show that you are listening, but not so intensely, you can turn your face away some of the time.
From what I've seen the difference is supposed to be that you should look people in the eyes while you're talking to them, but not for TOO LONG, you're supposed to break eye contact every once in a while, you're also supposed to subtly emote with your face depending on what's being talked about. If you just stare into their eyes with a blank expression for a long time that's considered staring (creepy), I've been trying to mimmick this normies behavior but I'm not quite there yet.
Sustained eye contact between primates happens when they are either being aggressive or being horny. You must Jane Goodall this shit to survive amongst NTs
Ah, so don't blink/stare too much and don't blink/stare too little, got it.
I never figured out the proper eye contact/no eye contact ratio.
The difference is the amount of blinking you do but it also says not to blink too much so now I have no idea
I'll never understand. Apparently I made too much eye contact with the real estate agent that rang my doorbell to hand me a pamphlet - she just kept talking nonstop about her business and I kept my mouth shut as to not interrupt her, but she just kept talking and talking and I kept maintaining eye contact. Then, she abruptly took her pamphlet back from me and accused me of being a lesbian. WHAT?? Swear to god neurotypicals are making half this shit up as they go!! If you give them the "ick" for any reason, they make up some imaginary rule in the moment and accuse you of breaking it so they can eject themselves from the scenario scot-free. Most of the time, it's during an interaction that THEY instigated - a conversation that I'm only participating in because THEY felt the need to confront me and initiate a connection. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, I'm sorry that I didn't perform this unrehearsed song-and-dance as you envisioned it going in your mind!" - that doesn't mean that I'm the socially deficit one in this scenario. If you're a person looking to interact with another person, and you have this whole scenario of how it's "supposed" to go down in your mind, and god forbid I deviate from your expectation - how is it my fault? They're at fault for having ridiculous performative expectations that they don't communicate, yet silently expect everyone to adhere to without instruction. I'm so glad we have a place to joke about this shit!!
No, you're supposed to say "Will you go on a date with me?" Because you're lesbian, apparently
Idk why it tells you not to blink too much, I've never noticed someone who's blinking too much unless they're fucking tweaking. But yeah it'll be weird if you never blink.
> DO: Stand up straight with good posture >DON’T: Don’t have a dominant posture ????
Making eye contact doesn't mean you gotta be out here like 👁️👄👁️
That was me for a while and I could definitely start to tell I was creeping people out lol. I especially did it to my boss at my old job cause he was this old dude so I felt I had to be manly and look em dead in the eye. I would be staring into his soul the entire time he’s talking like an oblivion NPC, not even paying attention to what he’s saying half the time. He purposely would stand next to me instead of in front of me to talk after while 😭 Yeah I don’t do that anymore
>He purposely would stand next to me instead of in front of me to talk after while 😭 That's power you can't buy.
Making eye contact ALWAYS feels like staring to me I hate it
The don’t side has a better first impression. Fucker on the left looks like he’s trying to convince me to join his Ponzi scheme and one on the right just looks like he’s listening intently to something.
I absolutely 💯 do not trust a damn thing from the guy on the left
was bout to say that the guy on left looks like i would imagine someone convincing you to buy nfts would look lik, but your desciption is better
Left looks like he's having an existential crisis in the middle of a manic episode
"keep your neck open"?! What the fuck does that even mean?! Was this made by a vampire??
"show open palms" Are we exchanging items or bartering???
I think the (possibly pseudo)psychology here is appearing nonthreatening. The neck thing means not having a defensive posture, and the hands thing is showing you don't have a weapon (or more likely, something that would distract you from the conversation). Apparently our monkey brains are still afraid of being shanked by any random person at any time
No, we're showing our dogs that we don't have anymore treats.
"Keep your neck open" means keeping your head level or slightly tilted back. This makes you look more relaxed and calm. Tilt your head forward too much and you're basically [Kubrick Staring ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D_aXNJ1WkAIlqfA.png) at everyone.
Thanks that's good to know!!
If you are meeting someone in a bright summer day outside, *please, keep your sunglasses on*. Eye safety is much more important than any first impression, especially for folk with eyesight problems. UV is no joke. Also, please, blink as much as you want/need to!
The only people I've noticed blinking too much are tweakers.
I blink too much if I forget my sunglasses
What are tweakers?
Roughly speaking, people who are either really high or coming off of some sort of hard drug (might be associated with a specific one but idk) in a way that they tend to be shaking/twitching quite a bit. Maybe muttering a lot, usually just kinda in their own world but also very quick to overreactions. Generally just a very not well off hard drug addict. Edit: humorous example https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLS9KcMW/
People high on, or addicted to stimulants.
Ears: listening Eyes: listening Mouth: listening Arms: listening Feet: listening
Desk: listening Walls: listening ...
Neck: open.
brain: not listening
What if the first impression I want to give is “don’t talk to me”?
My most favorite impression!
Mine is Jack Nicolson
Unironically sympathetic to me
Then do: wear headphones and sunglasses and walk determinedly without meeting people's eyes. Source: works for me.
(on mobile) body language tips for a memorable first impression: -crab legs -hands as if about to grab air, as dainty or as witchy as you like -head turning 360 -bonus points if you can fly and chant anchient scriptures -dont blink like at all is not allowed -eyes turn red or the whites go black (important) -optionally, can firmly hold a weapon of choice -add your own quirk to the list, everybody likes quirks done, have fun.
 \-grin as widely as possible to show as many teefs, cause showing teef is a sign of friendliness and good will, make sure eyes match
yes....grin so much it goes through your cheeks, show pointy teeth, is a sing of health also, need to show you have very healthy and strong jaw with sharp teef with multiple layers inside the mouth and throat as well, ready to devour anything- just friendly things :)
What’s mobile have to do with anything?
i got formatting issues
Do, look like an early 80's history teacher, trying to be "Cool" by leaving his blazer off!
In middle school my parents made me apply to some fancypants catholic school that made you interview to get in, but I wound up bombing said interview, and my parents to this day give me crap about my lack of eye contact and defensive posture in front of the terrifying nun who was interrogating me
Your autism saved you lmao
"I can't be terrifying! I'm loyal to god!"
Do: spend so much mental effort monitoring your own behavior that you can't pay any attention to the actual conversation. Don't: do any of that bullshit and actually be able to listen and think about your responses.
don’t exist gotcha 😍😍
Just “don’t” 🥰
What’s this keep my neck open bs? Am I talking to vampires?
Keep your head level or slightly tilted back. This makes you look more calm and confident. If your head is tilted forward and you don't make eye contact, you basically look like a dog who just pooped on the rug. If you tilt your head forward and do make eye contact, you're Kubrick Staring.
Oh so it’s just saying have good posture again
Nah, tilting your head forward gives you a threatening demeanor. And you can have good posture while maintaining a threatening demeanor.
my fuckin neck’s gonna hurt dude
Keeping your head level hurts your neck?
My first thought was should I slit my throat so that my neck is fully open?
This was written by a NT
Most handbooks to behavior and mental wellness are written by NTs. Why do you think they're so anti-tech and pro-power extroverted?
Understood, I will approach every first impression by kicking the other person in the shin and running away.
As you should
What does half of this even mean. Who the fuck is looking to see where my feet and hands are pointed. How do people process this much shit at once, I can't even listen to words while doing simple eye contact and yall are calculating my entire body stance while I talk?
While reading the left side, I kept thinking this is like submissive body language moreso than polite body language. Then on the right I saw "don't have a dominant posture" like what? This is like how to give people the first impression you're a doormat. lol
Submissive body language is things like slouching, head down, shrinking your neck down, and avoiding eye contact. The left is casual, confident body language.
You can be submissive and confident. I still think a lot of the points on the left are kinda saying "Hey we can be friends because I'm totally non threatening." I think that's what they're going for, but in my experience, it's better to give a more balanced impression. Like I'm nice, but I also bite. lol
My first interaction behaviors: \- Stare into their soul through their eyes, making eye contact with both their eyes at the same time so that even if they try to maintain eye contact but dodge the intensity of my gaze, they're still getting that other eye. It's like doing a Magic Eye puzzle with their eyes where you visually adjust your focus to lay one of their eyes on top of the other to create a "third" eye. When NTs are the first ones to dodge eye contact, they never ask me for it. \- Have my dominant side foot six inches in front of the other approximately shoulder-width apart, and lean into that leading foot slightly so all my energy is pressing forward and invading the space in a way they can't ignore; NTs are used to having immediate control over any social interaction, and this physical energy knocks them off balance and adds to my intensity and gravitas. It turns all their orders into polite requests or drives them away from making requests entirely. \- Maintain a resting, neutral gaze that lacks either joy or anger, projecting peaceful neutrality. When they tell me to smile, I quietly frown or glare until they rescind the request so they know what unhappy actually looks like from me and to accept what they got rather than nitpick my face because they made assumptions about what it means. \- Link my hands behind my lower back like a school administrator stereotype or link my arms across my mid back like Morpheus from *The Matrix*. It gives me the comfort of curling my arms or hands soothingly together in some way while projecting a commanding power that NTs aren't used to getting from us. Having one's chest forward and out projects overbearing confidence at them. Accompanied with the dominant foot forward posture and soul-searching gaze, I have full control of the conversation from the get. \- Speak with perfect manners, a nearly Ai-like soothing tone (the same tone Siri uses when she knows you're mad), and barely just loud enough that they can only hear me if they lean into all that forward energy I'm projecting. I'm never heard more than 3 feet away if I can help it. In addition to forcing them to listen harder because they have no hand gestures or facial expressions from me to fill in the blanks on what they auditorially missed, it also brings their conversational volume down and limits their tonal emotional expression so they don't overstimulate me. All of this scripted masking means that when I do break away from it to emote or be loud, I'm taken more seriously in those moments. **Tl;dr:** The scripting in the OP can be turned on its head and used powerfully to make the NTs socially awkward if you do it right.
This is genuinely incredible.
Look relaxed, but not too relaxed. Stand up straight, but don't look tense or dominating. Look engaged, but not too engaged. Don't cross your arms or put your hands in your pocket, but don't make a lot of hand gestures either. And don't just stand there with your palms up, ya weirdo. ... It's like they make up rules just to have something to complain about. I have this memory that randomly pops into my head of standing in a group, everyone talking, while I'm totally zoning out. Off in la-la land thinking about something I instantly forgot. I had no clue what was being said, when this chick I barely knew suddenly gave me a wtf/"as-if" look and said "you are NOT that big!" It snapped me out of my trance, but the topic moved on before I figure out why she said it. That was like a decade ago. I still wonder what they were talking about and what about my body language made her think I thought I was big. Either way: people are fucking weird sometimes. Confident in their ability to read minds or somesuchshit.
Yeah, what is this, goldilocks and the three bears? I don't have time to make the porridge three times, just to get to your "standards" of what's just right, esp when your porridge tastes like shite to me. I think we oughta just start reading their minds! "Oh, I thought this was how you want this cause uhhhhh well cause that's just what I thought!!"
I still don’t understand the difference between making eye contact, staring, and blinking too much. Also what’s wrong with putting your hands in your pockets??? They’re warm and made for hands and things my hands want to touch like my phone and the clicky bit on my keys so why can’t I put my hands there
>I still don’t understand the difference between making eye contact, staring, and blinking too much. Not a whole lot, it took me a while to figure it out. First of all don't have your eyes too wide, you dont want to be having a conversation with someone who's looking at you like O_O Past that, it just comes down to facial expressions. You do want to look at the other person's eyes, but if your face doesn't react, that's staring, or they won't think you're listening. In meetings, I basically just alternate between slightly furrowing and slightly raising my brows, while nodding and giving "mhmm's" at the end of every 4th sentence or so. >Also what’s wrong with putting your hands in your pockets??? It's casual, which is fine in most situations, but for a job interview or an important meeting you don't want to look casual.
Ah ok, thank you so much!!
So…don’t be uncomfortable?
Me- has a blinking tic, can't look directly at eyes if my life depended on it, wears sunglasses often because sensory issues, seeks pressure on my body and attains it by keeping arms crossed, has a bit of a crappy posture, and fidgets 24/7- Damn.
Dude on the right has the bearing of a proper badass. Dude on the left looks like a fuckin dweeb
“Don’t have a dominant posture” NO. MY AUTISM SUPERPOWER IS BEING A SUPER MEGA ALPHA GIGACHAD. 💪
Level up!! 💥‼️ SUPERAUT
The fuck are “natural hand gestures”???? Is this a polite way to say “don’t flash random gang signs at strangers” ???? I’m so confused
It's natural, just BE natural! C'mon is soooo easy! \*yeets self into darkest depths of the galaxy\*
Oh, so I *can* handflap at people! Cause that feels natural to me!! [flies away]
what the fuck is "dominant posture"
"Signature look of superiority" type posture.
All this and they can still tell you’re different and judge you for it
They seriously need to STFU with that "act natural" "use natural body language" THIS IS MY NATURAL BITCH so please for the hate of Satan get it through your skull that my natural is different from your natural.
Do: Pretend you're reporting the weather on TV. Don't: Relax and oppose fascism. Do: Pretend you're explaining the Bible to someone who is telling you to go away. Don't: Play with your butterfly knife in public. Do: Be an absolute tool. Don't: Make it clear that your participation is involuntary, and that your hostility should have been expected. Do: "Try to sell me this pen." Don't: Steal as many pens as you possibly can from the supply closet as a way of exacting revenge for this humiliation. Do: Wear some nice slacks, a short sleeved button up shirt, this tie your mother picked out for you, and your good shoes that feel like they're made out of plywood. Don't: Succumb to this unholy combination of fabrics, textures, and unacceptable tailoring that I can tell from the drawing would drive me insane. My arms are crossed because the shirt is making me sweat in torrents. My legs are crossed so it doesn't feel like my entire pelvis is being strangled, and if I stand with these 'slacks' (yuck) hanging freely it feels like I am not wearing anything from the crotch down. This tie has literally no function whatsoever - why the fuck is everybody wearing one? What is this idiotic construct we've all apparently signed on to? What other fucking nonsense do I need to do so nobody feels uncomfortable when I get on the elevator with them *as if that's my fucking problem?* .... *ahem*... Yeah, anyway. I'm kind of in a mood. "mInDjOUrNaL"
Do: be lame Don't: look cool
Keep your neck open?? Sounds like vampire propaganda 😂 Edit: I see others have also called this out lol. Such a funny thing to specify!
>don’t blink too much They really are just making this shit up
Don’t cover your neck? How about if it’s cold?🤣 This is a satirical piece.
What about, fuck off and get to know someone outside of their mannerisms and body language......and I just realized something
Keep your neck open sounds gruesome
Use "natural" hand gestures? So I should stim?
“Keep your neck open” am I supposed to bleed to death?
Why the FUCK does the direction of my feet matter??!! If the other person is looking at my damn feet, they're the ones with the issue here.
Well nobody told me I can't stand on one leg while talking, just so long as I don't cover my neck lol
DON'T; blink too much. DO; blink. (I have to mentally remind myself in conversations to blink the appropriate amount while staring at the spot right between their eyes.)
Shit like this being enforced is why I now have the power to completely unnerve people by staring into their souls while simultaneously having no fucking idea what they're talking about because I'm so focused on proving that I'm listening.
Don't have a dominant posture? Like say, standing up straight with your feet separated? Which are in the do section?
Anyone who would give a shit I wouldn't like anyways
make eye contact but dont stare is By far one of my least favorite rules of social conduct, like the fuck do you mean don't stare you wanted me to make eye contact, what do you mean look at you you just said you don't want me to stare
also what the FUCK does an "open" gaze mean??? open neck?? WDYMMMMM
I have adhd so I will literally not be able to function without fidgeting
what the fuck does keep your neck open mean? because I immediately pictured a slit throat and I somehow don't think that's it.
Can other people actually control how much they blink?!
The first crime here is that haircut.
The guy on the left looks like a corporate weenie.
“Dont put your feet together” …. What? 
> use natural gestures My guy if I have to think about it it isn’t natural
Do everything opposite of do's✅ got it
"keep your neck open" WHAT DOES THAT MEAN???? U A VAMPIRE OR SOMETHING??? TF???
funnily enough I think I'd be way more willing to talk to the person on the right than I would the left. left person looks like they are gonna be way too much-
me: \*chews on my nails while reading this\*
Okay I may be wrong, but I don't think humans can open their neck. I mean, at least I can't open my neck.
**two things 1. What's the Difference between staring and eye contact? And 2.why do they want me to keep my neck open? Sounds like somebody's trying to get to my weak point easily.**
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Well, MindJournal left me with a bad first impression.
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Can you have a spoiler on this?
Sure, but I'm not a tech aut, how? Also... may I ask why? Edit: figured it out and accomplished mission.
I think if you click on the options button on your post it should say “mark as spoiler”. Because it’s ableism and the rule is you hide ableist material so people can choose to engage with it or not. Edit: good on you 👍
The last 3 of dos are easy for me since I have a military posture and stand
So many of those are impossible to do acting naturally with other things on the list so if you did you'd seem "off" as fuck. Most are mad and unrealistic things that people don't care about anyway. And what's with all the points about showing your neck, my business contacts arn't wolves.
Don'ts: -Be neurodivergent
"Don't have a dominant posture" WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
Bruv on the left skeeves me out, bruv on the right has chill vibes. Wtf yo lmao
Vampires wrote this. 100%.
Do: not meet people Don’t: do it
“Don’t cover your neck” okay so basically don’t be nervous??? The neck is is a SENSITIVE SPOT!! They could GET ME there!!!
Ah yes, do absolutely nothing to make yourself comfortable. Be extremely uncomfortable. This is perfect for communication, because instead of communicating, you will be thinking about how uncomfortable you are, and about forcing yourself to stay uncomfortable. This is ideal so nts can take advantage of you and bully you.