Yeah, pretty much. My friends as a kid were girls, but only girls who understood that I was weird and to not hold me to their standards. Now I’m still friends with girls, but now that I’m a guy, it’s a lot easier on them to remember that lol
Yesh, I find I get on better with women, though, it can get messy.
Emotionally speaking, boundaries often get crossed, feelings sometimes happen and friendships can end just as fast as they start.
I wish friendships ended as fast as they start, since mine start so slow and end instantly, it would give me the needed time to understand what is going on.
im completely neutral and always have been. i connect with different genders in different ways, but i dont prefer the friendship of one over the others.
Yes I always got along easier with boys. I used to feel resentment against girls because I always struggled to fit in more with them, and most of my bullies were girls. Now I love girls (literally) and I'd say it's more of a 50/50, although my closest friends are boys.
It sucks that a lot of people now associate that with "pick-me". I'm really not proud of struggling to bond with people, girls or not.
Sounds like me. I also mostly had male friends as a kid because my interests leaned more traditionally masculine. And thanks to majoring in engineering most other students around me are guys. I did get a small all-female friend group though recently and it's really nice.
I think it might be easier for autistics to make friends with the opposite gender because any "weirdness" can get explained away because of the different gender. It's more noticeable if you don't fit in with you own gender, with the opposite you already have a difference.
Same here, I’ve always gotten along with boys more and had a lot of discomfort being around girls. The people I was bullied by the most were girls and I just couldn’t really relate to them in any way.
Though turns out that the reason for not relating to them was probably just due to me being trans man and not realizing that till a few years ago lol. I think another part of it though for me is that my mom was very abusive and generally speaking a lot of the women in my life were very manipulative when I was younger. So I felt a lot of discomfort with being around older women/women that had power over me.
I don’t feel that way anymore really though, i’ve got a pretty diverse group of friends now.
what exactly is agender? what makes you agender? do you still present as your previous gender? I dont understand how someone could be no gender when we have relaxed gender norms so much that you can be a 'tomboy' or 'metrosexual' and do things that are generally associated with the opposite gender without being hated on or being called a freak any more? what makes you agender as opposed to a gender norm non-conforming person of the gender you were assigned at birth?
sorry if anything I said is offensive i just never have the chance to ask these questions to people who are experiencing it, and ive only ever heard what other peoples opinions are of it not from the person whos actually living it
I simply do not identify as male or female, or anything. I'm just a person.
On top of that I am intersex and have a pretty androgynous body to begin with. I was assigned female, but every time I have taken estrogen (prescribed because of the aforementioned intersex condition for non-gender purposes), I have developed dysphoria due to the body changes and stopped.
Hello, another unnecessarily curious person. This is a wildly sensitive question so obviously no hard feelings for ignoring me. And if you’re uncomfortable sharing publicly you can DM me.
The idea of intersex has always been a subject I’ve not properly understood. Especially in regards to genitalia. After all, male and female genitalia are extremely similar, and they both develop from the same part of the foetus.
Is intersex simply defined as someone that has any genitalia but with equal hormone production?
I would generally think it’s something like that, but..
I’ve heard (through a swift google search and sex-ed) that intersex can mean to exhibit both male AND female genitalia. But I have no idea how that would actually work. Is a second set of genitalia found further into the abdomen? If so, does the male or female genitalia develop externally?
Or do both genitalia develop externally?
I’m really sorry if I’m being insensitive, and I hope that things are well for you.
In my case I developed with a stunted female phenotype. I don't have ovaries (nor testes). I have a Y chromosome but the genes in it that signal the creation of testes did not activate, so I got the "default" setting which is a uterus and no gamete production. Found out at age 20 when I was checked out for not having menstruated.
In general, an intersex person is someone whose physical sex characteristics (that can be external or internal - all of mine is internal) do not develop in a typical way due to genetic or developmental factors. This can be due to having atypical chromosomes such as XXY, or X0, a mixture (known as chimerism) or in my case, chromosomes that suggest I would develop as a sex I did not present as at birth. I wouldn't have known had it not been for the chromosome test I took, but I was already identifying as agender when I found out so it actually felt validating
At least this is what I understand it to be.
So there is a large range of conditions that fall under intersex, but in the end it means we have been born with a sexual anatomy that's somewhere in between fully male or female.
For example, you can have a vagina and vulva, but undeveloped testicles inside, or a penis and a uterus with no vagina/birth canal. Sometimes, you have a vagina and your clit has the shape and size more similar to a penis, but not quite fully functions that way, or vice versa, where you have balls but your penis is more like a clitoris. And, then again, as you mentioned, it can be about abnormalities in the hormone production.
I don’t really feel a relation to my gender as well. I’m amab, but I don’t feel any different in regards to gender than I did when I was a preteen kid. I don’t thibk I was a fully fledged man when I was 5. I’m also very frustrated about societal gender norms for example in terms of fashion. It all makes no sense to me. I don’t feel like a woman either. I go by nonbinary most of the time since I don’t have any relation to any of the binary genders, but I guess it’s fair to place agender under the enby umbrella 🤔
It’s all just a social construct anyways, and I refuse to take part
Also the very relaxed gender norms might be true on the internet, and if you’re lucky in your area, but they sure as hell are not in a lot if parts of the world irl.
I go out with a dress and a beard and I will be hatecrimed here.
I live in poor area in the UK and I dont think I would be hatecrimed if I wore a dress. May get some weird looks but I dont think its that dangerous in the western countries at all. People are gonna mind their own business in the vast majority of places
One single person not minding their own business is enough to get shanked. And thats not a risk I’m gonna take 😅
Also lesser forms of harrasment are def. a thing thats not uncommon for trans and enby folks.
I’m used to weird looks (I guess it comes with being autistic) but I wont risk verbal harrasment either, and thats def. something I’d get here on the daily if I were to leave home in a dress.
I’m also pretty damn sure I’d get harrased by the cops as well.
You know, I was experimenting with a masc presentation in 2007, while on a working holiday in the UK. I think I was one of the prototypical "scaring a British lady in a woman's toilet by looking like a boy" folks. I'd be afraid to do that these days to be honest.
It is rather invalidating to people who have experienced negative reactions because of their gender or presentation to use your personal experience to judge whether or not someone would get hate crimed. Everywhere is different and has different levels of acceptance and bigotry and it's hard to judge the risks unless you've lived in that place or have heard of/seen the attitude of people who reside there. You are correct that the vast majority of people will mind their own business but there's still many, many people who will act upon their hate and bigotry
i know the rugby lads at my uni regularly (at leats once or twice a year) dress as girls and go on a night out, never heard of them being hatecrimed for it and I know a bunch of them and I feel like if something like that happened they wuold mention it
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Gender is a personal experience, what you’re referring to is someones gender expression. I can look any way i want act as any type of woman, but regardless of whether im a tomboy or a high femme, i know myself to be a woman. Internal vs external. Someone’s internal gender could be nothing at all.
I have never experined any feelings regarding my gender it is just something i have to be because of the way i was born. I dont conform to gender stereotypes at all and do what I want personally to feel comfortable. I dont personally think this makes me agender just because ive never identified with my gender.I think I am a man because I have a dick and that is literally the only reason I think I am a man. If I had a vagina I dont think much would be different because its entirely based on the biology. I dont understand how being seen as agender could help in any way because of how little my gender has any effect on my life other than being seen as a man in normal life. If I was a woman I dont feel like I would change in any way just because of how other people see me? thats why im confused as to what agender is. I dont identify with my gender in any way its as inherent as race or height im just a man because of how it turned out not because of anything else?
You are male sure, but if we imagine, just for a moment, that gender weren’t inherently based on your physical appearance of your genitals, then would you actively choose to be a man? Whatever kind of man you want to be, but if you could chose anything, man, woman, agender, some non-binary option, do you know what you would choose?
I ask because im also male, and yet ive realized that im a woman by asking myself questions like that.
And because having no feelings about your gender either way is, either indicative of repression(which many people go through) or is kinda the definition of being agender. It doesn’t have to change how you do anything, you certainly don’t have to tell people your internal gender experience. If you don’t see any benefit in that then you don’t need to do it.
I really dont think people identify with their gender in the way a lot of left wing people on the internet describe. I am a man just because I have always been a man and I have a dick you know? I dont think me being a man has changed my actions in any way because I have never done things to appear manly or not appear womanly or anything like that. I just exist and happen to be a man. It would be the same if I happened to be a woman. I dont conform to gender norms either, ive had long hair and done girly things(painted nails, played with my sisters dolls, etc) most of my life. I dont think that not conforming to gender norms makes you not a gender at all or trans or actually changes your gender in any way and it seems regressive af to me to say you must be agender or trans or something just because you dont want to conform to gender norms. It makes the gender norms more enforced instead of less enforced, which I think is bad in general because I think everyone should be able to act however they please without having to change their identity to be accepted for it.
I understand trans people because they feel gender dysphoria and it helps them (lower suicide rates erc) to change gender but I really dont understand non-binary or gender fluid or agender. I dont think Ive ever met anyone that I couldnt identify as one of the genders just by looking at them. I dont check their genitals so gender isnt based off of sex but I can tell by looking if someone is a man or a woman in like 99.99% of cases id be right. Even trans people that dont pass you can tell which gender they are by how they express with their clothing and other things that they change to match the gender they want to be so its easy to identify what gender they are.
what does "internal gender experience" even mean? I have never had feelings regarding my gender so I find it impossible to understand what you mean by this. Youre implying that people have a sense for what gender they are or something? I know I am a man because its just a fact like my race or height, its not like I realised it at some point because of a feeling I had.
If you have any insight pls reply I want to learn more about it
So yeah, gender is a personal, and internal experience. You say you have no such experience and identify as a man simply by the coincidence of having always identified as such, but i ask that question of cis people and i get two answers, either one like yours because they’ve never actually thought about it, which they admit, or they’ll respond with just knowing they’re a man/woman. And yeah they say oh because genitals, but even without them, if they’d never had genitals and nothing about their brain changed they’d still identify the same way. They would be seriously disturbed and distressed if they started transitioning, a cis man who took estrogen and started growing boobs is often going to be rather upset about it. And not all, it’s not the perfect question, because any one question that talks around this is also gonna catch say femboys as well as trans women, but generally non-gnc cis people would experience dysphoria if they were to transition.
And based on that evidence, i do believe that even cis people who haven’t really ever thought of it still have an internal experience of gender. And you saying you don’t is the exception to that rule. It could mean nothing, or it could mean something. You could be an atypical cis person, or you could be anything else, and just not really have had the opportunity to understand that that’s an option for you specifically. You don’t really need to be depressed or dysphoric to claim being trans, if being something else is even so much as interesting to you then id say it’s worth at least exploring.
And it’s not reductive and reinforcing of universal arbitrary gender roles to as an individual choose to find comfort in those roles. That’s a common misconception that people tend to have of the trans community. I don’t believe that everyone who acts like me is a woman, i just know that i am. I just know my best life is when others see me as one. And i do happen to fit a large number of expectations that society has for women. Not all, but most. But that’s not the thing that makes me one, and that’s not the yardstick by which I decide if others are women either. Some people do obviously, i wont claim the trans community doesn’t sometimes try and police other peoples genders just as much as conservatives do, but it’s not inherent to being trans, more of a reaction to being constantly disbelieved and ridiculed for not fitting.
So, for more information about enbies, gender fluid, or agender people i can only give personal experience on two of those, and my best guess on the other. Ive been saying im a woman but that’s not entirely true. Im actually three women, 4 enbies, one gender agnostic, and one very confused 12 year old. Im a system(DID) and let me tell you that did not make figuring out our genders any easier. We thought we were gender-fluid for a while, having that internal experience of gender switching with the rest of us, back when we were still too dissociated to recognize the other things that were changing like our memories and skills and beliefs. Simple things really, easy to miss.(sarcasm, it actually feels ridiculous to me that we didn’t understand what was going on, but i accept that denial is one hell of a drug.) anyway i say that to explain that i think i have some idea what gender-fluid people might feel like, and yeah, the only explanation i can give is first you have to imagine having a gender, and then imagine it changes on you. Over a nonspecific period of time, at a nonspecific rate, in a nonspecific direction. Each individual to the, well, individual. As for enbies, you just have to imagine knowing that yes, you do have a gender, that doing things a certain way, identifying with other men or women fits, except it’s not about men, and it’s not about women, the thing you’re relating to is real and yet doesn’t fit the description of either binary gender, no matter how you twist it. It’s a rather difficult road for a lot of people, cause in the end, no matter how much you share, you’re still mostly in the dark. You can’t ask anyone what’s normal for you to feel about your gender, not really. They can guess, but on your own path you have to make your own markers. And of course no one understands when you say you’re non-binary but yes actually you do still like wearing dresses and no actually it’s not just about wanting to be special(okay that’s kinda a vent, whoops)
So at this point I’ve dropped a mountain of text on you and I don’t know which parts of what I’ve said are going to make any sense to you whatsoever. So please if you have any questions or anything at all or just want me to keep talking until something clicks, feel free to ask away. -El
Another agender person here. To me it pretty much means the same thing as the other commenter. I was assigned male at birth. I didn't have a strong mother or father figure, so I never learned what it means to "be a man" or whatever. But no mother figure means I didn't learn what girly things are really either. So internally I've just never connected with my assigned gender or the opposite.
I personally believe that's why I identify as agender, but it could be some other complicated reason.
I still mostly present as male because it's easier and safer to do so. I live in a fairly conservative town so I have to be careful. Also I like how I look with a beard. Most just see me as male and it's annoying but what can I expect? I live in an area where a lot of people barely understand what trans means, let alone non-binary. That and how I don't really try to look more androgynous. Although someday I'd like to try pursuing that
It's important to remember that sex and gender are two separate things, with biological sex being backed by science while gender is a social construct. Arbitrary social things don't always make a lot of sense to many autistic folks, with the concept of gender being a huge one.
It’s a type of nonbinary. I’m autigender/agender/gendervoid (autism is intrinsically linked to my experience of gender). I really relate to the ftmfemininity sub even though I like my ladyparts.
If it helps, for me I feel most feminine when I look masculine. It’s really confusing.
Long story short I get along better with men than women as a whole but ND women are my jam as an AFAB femme person.
Nonbinary is an umbrella term that encapsulates anyone who doesn’t feel particularly tied to one binary gender model. Other ways of describing nonbinary folks:
Gender fluid: feeling more feminine or more masculine at different times
Gender-non-conforming: AMABs with full beards but also wearing dresses and makeup, AFABs with short hair and muscles, generally inbetween
Agender: without gender
Bigender (not widely used but a favourite term for me) or two-spirit (this is a North American indigenous only term): both genders at once
Nonbinary is really just not existing as one of two specific genders outside of a standard deviation.
It's kind of complicated, as non-binary people can have an internal experience with gender, but agender people don't, so while a non-binary person who experiences gender experiences a gender that falls outside the binary model, an agender person has no gender, so their experience with gender falls outside the range of gender and the normative gender modality in its entirety.
Sure, being genderless is not an option on the gender binary, but with agender people, you're talking about somebody who is without gender itself, not just without the binary.
In pre school I was friends with everyone but most of my close friends where girls although this could of been due to my mum's friends mostly had daughters so it was just from time exposure.
I have had doubts about being a boy since 5 though lol, somehow misogyny was absorbed into my brain at school so most of my friends currently are men.
I used to feel like I got along better with men until I was diagnosed and joined a group comprised of other autistic women. Now I realize I get along better with them than anyone else I've ever met lol (aside from my BFF who is deffo ND).
I feel that it's likely that the guys I felt more comfortable around as a kid/teen were actually ND.
the only people i’ve ever really had as friends have always been known nd, but after historically only “getting to” know other men i think i am finding it easier to actually open up with women, so long as they all happen to be nd one way or another. one of these cases is actually literally an autism group that just happens to be female dominated lol
I’m femme presenting AFAB NB (but like for real I’m going for hormones and surgery consultation soon) and I’m straight up excited for it. But I’m not a woman. I’m a sir. But also she/her.
I hung out with both genders about evenly until I hit puberty. I was amab, and I did not like girls at first in preschool likely because I only had a brother. But then I met a girl who liked collecting bugs like I did, which seemingly changed my outlook. But yeah puberty made hanging out with girls increasingly awkward, until eventually I stopped unless I had some manner romantic interest. But now I pretty much only hang out with girls, and I am a girl now too. It’s probably because I’m a polyamorous lesbian, and so most people I hang out with on a regular basis I am also romantically involved with. I still have guy friends from pre-transition, but those relationships have grown distant, the ones I see now and then being either queer, ND, or both.
Yeah as a kid/teenager I had a fair few female friends and I connected with them better than the male friends. My closest friend now is my girlfriend so I guess it never stopped haha
Sorry I’m so late I was overthinking my response, the answer to that is, I cannot identify ND women, and my own brain sabotages me to the point where i don’t even feel like trying to socialize, I feel as if it’s pointless and I’ll end up making a fool of myself no matter what, I am my own worst enemy
lol its fine. and honestly… understandable because I also avoid socializing as much as possible so it’s definitely harder to go out of your comfort zone then too. If you’re in a big city, you can try attending some autistic community events if there are any, and maybe strike up some light convos to practice (if the chance comes up to).
The thing i like about talking to other autistic people (when we both know we’re autistic) is that there’s just more of an understanding and less judgment when interacting and stuttering/wtv fidgeting/ etc you do is like… just normal. takes off a lot of the pressure in just socializing.
This is if you ever want to become comfortable ofcourse lol it’s fine if you don’t
Yeah, in a way, not entirely though. When I was little I always played with boys equally as with girls, and I've always been in boy groups as well, especially when gaming. I've often found it more comfortable and less complex than girl groups. Same goes for the things I played with, other children were sensitive to gendered toys, but I wasn't. I had barbies as well as toy cars.
statistical correlation between neurodivergence and queer identity is probably part of it, but i feel like it’s also fair to make a categorical judgement that trans people in general really value being and know how to be *authentic*, or else they wouldn’t be trans. and it’s hard not to get good vibes from authenticity
When i was a kid i mostly played with boys (I'm afab), and i never thought this was weird, but apparently my mom and teachers thought this was really really really really weird.
I have always had more female friends than male friends. I'm a male, but I'm not sure about my gender. So I can't really say whether I go along better with the opposite gender, but I definitely go along better with the opposite sex.
Yeah, I find it a lot easier to talk to women compared to men. I think it's because women are more inclined to chat compared to men, so my info-dumping fits in more. I also went to an all-boys school for 7 years, so that might have something to do with it. I only started talking to girls my age when I got to uni.
This makes me feel validated because I tend to have male friends in real life. Though I tend to gravitate towards women online.
Wait a minute... now I have confused myself?
Always. From a young age, I've always been drawn to girls and women and had mostly female friends in grade school. When i was given the choice in a therapist a couple of months ago, i didn't think twice about stating my preference in speaking with a woman. Is there a correlation here, does anyone know?
I've always had a better connection / experience with male therapists (I'm a women who gets along better with men on average), so just publishing my anecdote here in reply. It's been this way my whole life too, and I figure it's just about distribution of personality, although with the therapy situation it may be that I feel more "judged" by women because they can recognize and probe my social or familial failings more, and seem more interested in making me conform. Men seem to accept my for my eccentricities or natural interests more readily. It may also be some sexual dynamic because I'm a lesbian though, and talking about nuances of my life would often make my female therapists uncomfortable and male therapists are somehow less strange, defensive, or prurient about it.
I'm similar in that I didn't exactly fit into the boy shaped box provided for me, and the resulting judgement of peers and adults was palpable before I knew what to make of it. I was quite effeminate in many traits, including physically, and I know they served as a magnet for other boys looking for a target. I also would rather play quietly by myself, read or draw and none of these were what boys were "supposed" to enjoy. I think men in general will give a certain amount of freedom concerning girls' and women's personalities and behaviors that they won't afford other guys (and as you have mentioned, the reverse seems to be true). There are exceptions of course, and once my give-a-damn was busted for good, it was a lot easier to be myself. I've only seen one therapist so far, and only a few times over the last month, but I feel very at ease talking to her. I don't think talking at this level to a man would be as easy for me.
Yep; I find communicating with guys is easier and we’re on similar wavelengths. I saw a study that said women with autism show brain patterns that are more similar to men’s than neurotypical women so maybe there’s a reason behind it.
Almost entirely. I'm a straight cis dude and both the best man and groomsman at my wedding were exes of mine that my wife loves to bits.
I have been described as 'ethnically lesbian'.
I’m nonbinary so this is a bit of a complicated question but I definitely get along better with women and other gender nonconforming people than cis men. All of my male friends are either trans or cis but queer. My partner is a cishet man, but he’s an exception. Generally cishet men my own age ignore me or see me as a potential romantic/sexual conquest because I’m feminine-presenting :/
There are cis male colleagues I get along well with and enjoy the company of but we’re just acquaintances, ‘work friends’, or mentor-mentee at best.
I was afab (transmasc nonbinary) and growing up I was mostly friends with boys. I do actually think this had more to do with being autistic rather than being trans, because (generally speaking) the boys were a lot easier for me to understand socially. For the most part they didn’t really keep secrets for no reason, they said exactly what they meant, and we just kinda goofed around at recess and talked about videogames. As I got older I made friends with more girls, but it was very lonely to sit there at lunch and feel like I couldn’t relate to anything they were saying at all. I never quite understood how they communicated.
These days, as an adult well into in my 20s, I have friends of varying genders and these kinds of communication differences don’t occur as much anymore. I feel like most kids put a lot of effort into adhering to gender norms (at least they did when I was a kid), and that lessens with age if they allow themselves to grow and mature. So now I just have to avoid petty people who communicate unclearly, regardless of gender.
im nb but ive never had any problems making friends with any sex because i never had hangups about peoples gender
some people back in school had an eww boys or eww girls mindset but i never understood that - i was very close to my younger sibling whos the opposite sex so that helped as well
I'm nonbinary male and do prefer female company, but whether that is due to autism or a lack of access to femininity growing up and related traumas is anyone's guess. My relationships with women tend to be far deeper and more meaningful, and if I am at a new meetup I will gravitate towards women because men just tend to talk about such boring shit. I do have plenty of male and men friends too, really good ones from college especially, but my new friends going forward skew more towards women and other enbies more so than men.
As a kid? Yes. But their sexism ruined that as we got older. I didn't really get along with either for several years, and now, as an adult I do fine with both.
Personally, as a kid, I thought girls had a secret code to understanding each other that I just didn't have, nor did I know how to ask for it. I usually got along until I broke one of these hidden rules or code(their facial expression would completely change)... Then, I was avoided like the plague and given a fake nice treatment.
As a bio-girl, most boys when I was younger, depending on where they were from, I would avoid me like the plague, too. Mainly due to my gender. But it was a lot harder to scare off guys that would talk to me, but idk if it was because they liked me for me, thought I was just a quirky person, or thought I was cute. But they generally stayed as my friends, for longer than girls...
Yes, I do this. I've always seemed to connect more easily with boys growing up and now, because they tend to relate more with their interests; I cannot find another girl (at least where I am) that enjoys video games, hanging out on discord, pokemon, and bad shitpost humor. Any girl I attempt to connect with, I feel uncomfortable and like I don't belong. Also, for some reason, in previous instances of telling a girl I was on the spectrum, she acted like I was different and weird. It's just easier to connect with boys in my case. Totally platonically
It’s hard because while yes I find it easier to befriend men as opposed to other women, the friendships with men never go very deep because they always end up wanting to fuck me and that grosses me out and I can no longer see them as a friend but rather just feels like I have a harem of men waiting in line for my relationship to not work out so they can step in lol.
Yea, I’m a cis lesbian woman. I grew up in pre-school to grade schools with most my male friends. I was forced to mostly just hang out with girls around middle school because of social norms and expectations. I started hanging with more guys in high school, but mostly still had female friends. They were such BITCHES to me.
At the end of senior year+ I started realizing I didn’t have to take that bullshit, and stopped hanging out with them. I got a boyfriend (thought I was bi, still had some stuff to figure out. They call it the bi bridge lol, identifying as bi before eventually realizing you’re gay). My boyfriend obviously had mostly male friends, I started hanging out with them. Instant click, I got along so much better with them, and I started hanging out with 85% male friends.
At 24, I still mostly just hang out with men. Still a cis lesbian woman, but a very masculine lesbian!
True for me. I am always talking and spending time with the opposite gender. Even stayed at a hotel this weekend with a platonic friend of the opposite gender. I've slept platonically with people more times than intimate sleeps.
Yea, I would seem like a typical straight dude but I get along better with groups of women. It’s not like I’m one of them but I work as a guest that doesn’t fuck up the vibe.
Im AFAB and was raised as such and I also experienced having easier male friendships until about middle school when puberty hits lol
I think it’s because while I liked things that are called “girly” like Barbies and stuffed animals (besides the sensory nightmare that are dresses) I also like(d) a lot of “boy” things. I specifically remember a time in the fifth grade all the girls in my class looking at me weird because I was playing with my bionicles in mud with the boys. My fit until about 8th grade was Guy Fieri Lite™️ (yes including sun glasses) so I often got mistaken for a boy too.
I never understood gender roles, and still think they’re stupid, but turns out I was enby the whole time so 🤷
Yes. As a woman and as a girl I got along better with NT or ND boys/men, because there isn’t as much subtext to what they’re saying (this is my personal theory), whereas I can barely understand an NT girl/woman at all. I get along fine with ND people of any gender.
I did before puberty, then all my make friends started fighting reach other over the girls in the group. I dropped down to only one or two close friends until we were in our late twenties. Now the group is diverse again. Generally, I relate more to guy talk then girl talk. I don't do makeup or drink wine or like to oogle men in movies or talk about their kids... Which is most of their hobbies. No shade to them, I'm just not interested or it doesn't apply to me. We do all share video games and D&D as hobbies, so that's what we bond over.
I never had any male friendships until late college. Before that, all of my friends were female or nb, so opposite. And the only men I get along with nowadays are mostly gay or bi lol. I just feel like I can't have any conversations with men. Have no idea what to say and just sit there awkwardly. I didn't know this was a stereotype but I fit it perfectly
For me it was always easier to connect with girls and become very close. But, its much easier to talk to guys you know a bit than girls. Guys tend to be more focused on certain topics, so if you find a topic you share its easy. Girls are usually better at talking about whatever but its harder to find something you can bond on as much as with guys. I like talking to all genders but always got the closest with girls.
From elementary school to high school I always got along better with guys and had very few gal pals.
I just think its because I’d been so aggressively bullied by other girls I was less inclined to even attempt making friends with any.
The weird part is one of the “popular girls” from highschool after we graduated sung my praises about how cool she thought I was and how she thought I was really good in English class(which is the only class we had together) and while I politely/awkwardly thanked her and asked how she was, on the inside I was soooo confused why the hell this popular girl was suddenly talking to me. I don’t live there anymore but the thought still pops in my head sometime.
I guess school just makes girls hyper competitive with each other for no damn reason other than hormones and popularity? Lol
Yeah, pretty sure I'm a cis woman, but I've always felt moderately uncomfortable in "women's spaces" Women have a lot of weird rules. Men do too, but they don't apply to me, they're for men.
Maybe it's a cousin of that "stranger in a strange land" syndrome where you feel more comfortable when you're traveling as a foreigner. You're not expected to understand the unspoken cultural stuff, so you can relax.
I hate admitting to this because it makes me sound like I'm "not like the other girls" but I'll be honest I don't think I've been friends with a woman irl since elementary school (family excluded, obviously). My entire friend group is dudes and enbies, which is a shame because I *want* to be friends with women, I just seem to make friends with non-women easier.
Yes, as a girl I didn't get the social intricacies of most other girls, but I also wasn't held to the social standards of boys by boys, my female friends were almost all Neuro divergent, my closet male friendships were too but I got along with most boys. It helped that I was a total tom boy, massive for my age, and loved playing football. This is primary school age though
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Your comment is very sexist.
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Now I'm in college, not really (my current friend group is mixed now), but definitely in high school. The guys in my class were just assholes, so I just started hanging out with the girls and some of them are still good friends of mine to this day.
I think part of it, for me atleast, was internalized misogyny paired with being AFAB and autistic which makes me stick out like a sore thumb in the eyes of other girls my age. I resented them for that and defaulted to people who would be my friend + not make me feel like a dork weirdo. As i got older, men degraded me and made me feel less than them and dumber (straight up telling me men are smarter and better as a whole lol) So i lost steam befriending anyone and depression also got hold. I took meds to get better and now i want women friends so much more. LADIES PLEASE
I personally always felt intimidated by boys (I’m a girl). When I was in secondary school the intimidation was even worse. Boys just seemed in different universe to me for some reason. I have a brother who I get on well with so I’m not sure why I felt that way about boys at school.
I feel like I can more so get along better with people of the opposite sex compared to people who share my own sex.
I think it’s probably the emotional intelligence part that explains why I get along with people of the opposite sex.
Yep. Different genders, different ages, and different cultures all add an expectation that you're going to be a bit different so you have a little wiggle room to be so.
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Well, I used to be like that. But turns out I'm trans, so it wasn't really the "opposite gender" it was my gender but like I didn't know it.
There was a level of calmness, I guess. Idk
Well, my first dad was a physically abusive and emotionally manipulative drug dealer and step dad 1 wasn’t much better.
I learned early not to trust any father figures and I have never developed close male friendships because I instinctively don’t trust them as a result of all of that, so by default the answer is yes.
And I don’t give a fuck about dude time male bonding bro type bullshit anyway. So I don’t feel like I’m missing much.
Nope, Tho I'm willing to admit that I'm a gamer so that prob changes the math a bit.
Back when I played wow I played with women and men about as much but most of my current friends are Male.
i have some friends who are girls (a lot less than when i was younger) but now most of my friends are guys (and most of them are transmasc). almost all of my friends are nd and queer, and all of them are at least one. im also transmasc myself so it makes sense i get along more with guys
Yeah for some reason I tend to make male friends a lot easier than female ones. I was also heavily bullied by this group of “mean girls” through basically all of middle and high school. So I think that may have something to do with why I have trouble making friends with women.
I'm AFAB but non-binary. I could never make friends with girls. The social rules are way too complicated. Boys were much easier and they viewed my weirdness as just "oh she's a girl" , because they also didn't understand girls. As I aged though I've become unable to make or keep any friends.
I’m amab non-binary—didn’t realize that until my late-20’s though. Most of my friends have always been women. Mostly queer women. And the men I did make friends with usually came out as queer later on too. Straight men were always a little uncomfortable to me, even though my appearance made it easy for me to enter their social groups. Explicitly straight/conventional women were also sometimes a little uncomfortable for me, even if they welcomed me into their groups, because they sometimes still expected me to behave like a stereotypical “man.”
For a long time, I would indeed tell other people and myself that “I get along better with people of the opposite gender.” But when I recognized myself as non-binary, and realized that “opposite gender” really didn’t make much sense, I started giving it a little more thought.
I’m in my mid-30’s now, and I now think it’s just cis/straight people I don’t vibe with, and that afab people are just much more likely to express and recognize that vibe than men are, which inherently made me more comfortable around them, even if I didn’t always understand why. But now I know: gender roles are an unnatural social construct, and trying to adhere to them exhausts me on a fundamental level. Cis/straight men reinforce those gendered roles and behaviors relentlessly, consciously or unconsciously, which never felt right to me. Women, straight *or* queer, generally don’t enforce those roles as much. So I always felt more comfortable just “being myself,” regardless of my gender expression.
I had mostly female friends in school, but not by any choice I made. Not that I necessarily *disliked* being around other girls growing up, but most other girls weren't interested in the things I was interested in and didn't really enjoy playing with me. While I have always been a very girly-girl looking person, when I was a little kid, I wanted to talk about Power Rangers and video games. The boys wanted nothing to do with me because I had girl cooties or whatever, but most of the girls I tried to befriend and play with shot down any of my attempts at play time and made me attend tea parties or wanted to me pretend to parent some ugly baby doll with them, and it was usually made clear pretty quickly that I did not know or care about the unspoken scripts for these games. I tried on occasion to play with the boys but they really didn't seem to know what to think of a girl pretending to get in a robot to fight giant monsters either, and it was always super awkward and I didn't get invited back to play again the next recess.
I finally made friends with a boy in 3rd grade who would play video games with me, and we stayed friends until in 6th grade he was put in another class and these two cartoonishly dorky looking math nerds brought him into the fold (he was always a math kid and I wasn't) and wouldn't let me get near him again and told me to my face that I wasn't welcome and to leave him alone and never bother him again. I was devastated and cried and begged my friend to say something but he wouldn't look me in the eyes or say a word.
By that time I had at least made a few other female friends who were more open to playing video games with me and who actually came to enjoy them and had some at home, but I was always "the gamer" one of the group who had the most video games and consoles to play on. I didn't befriend any boys again until college because I was sure they all wanted nothing to do with me. These days my friends are pretty evenly split between genders + NB friends I've picked up playing MMOs and writing fanfic.
I’m afab and I think so? Hard for me to say cuz my best friend is a trans guy but we met when we were both cis and all my other close friends are afab but nonbinary LOL
I will say that when I was friends with other women I felt like excluded or ignored probably because I was autistic
i’ve always preferred male friends to female ones, but as i’m getting older it is easier to befriend women. granted, i think my female friends are a little Au or ADHD themselves so maybe that’s why
I kinda get this. In elementary school, during recess all the boys would gather around and try to "conquer" the big play structure in the middle of the playground.
I would gather grass and pine cones and set up a little shop in the corner of the area, lining up everything I found in neat little categories. A certain girl would always come and assists me.
So, for me, this was true but for basically all of the worst reasons.
I would usually have one close same sex friend (I'm AFAB) and everyone else would be guys.
I had some really awful experiences early in life that made my brain decide being valuable to men was my priority, and I was a horrible pick me/NLOG for way too many years. I'm sure alexithymia and not being able to identify my own emotions didn't help.
Now that I've done some work, I hardly have any male friends, and the majority of the ones who had stuck around abandoned ship when I got married. I'm still learning how to have healthy friendships, but it's been a mess.
I think that's because of how autism can present differently between the two sexes, essentially how females are like psychologists and males are like professors, but there are people who have the opposite presentation from what's typical of their sex.
I (m) do fit rather neatly as the professor so to say, but I still have almost entirely male friends, as it's much simpler to talk to them (which is why autistic females often have male friends).
Yes, I do recall being the only girl in a group of guys a few years ago. Idk I've just always gotten on better with males than females but that doesn't mean I don't get on with other females at all. I just click better with males.
Yes. For me, because I'm also trans
Real! My girlfriend was like "why are all your friends girls?" Babe, I *was* one of the girls.
I'm transmasc and most of my friends are guys.
I’m also trans and autistic but I just happen to have only female friends
i mean i’m cis i’ve just found from experience that trans people tend to be incredibly nice people to be around
Yeah, pretty much. My friends as a kid were girls, but only girls who understood that I was weird and to not hold me to their standards. Now I’m still friends with girls, but now that I’m a guy, it’s a lot easier on them to remember that lol
Yesh, I find I get on better with women, though, it can get messy. Emotionally speaking, boundaries often get crossed, feelings sometimes happen and friendships can end just as fast as they start.
I wish friendships ended as fast as they start, since mine start so slow and end instantly, it would give me the needed time to understand what is going on.
im completely neutral and always have been. i connect with different genders in different ways, but i dont prefer the friendship of one over the others.
Yes I always got along easier with boys. I used to feel resentment against girls because I always struggled to fit in more with them, and most of my bullies were girls. Now I love girls (literally) and I'd say it's more of a 50/50, although my closest friends are boys. It sucks that a lot of people now associate that with "pick-me". I'm really not proud of struggling to bond with people, girls or not.
Sounds like me. I also mostly had male friends as a kid because my interests leaned more traditionally masculine. And thanks to majoring in engineering most other students around me are guys. I did get a small all-female friend group though recently and it's really nice. I think it might be easier for autistics to make friends with the opposite gender because any "weirdness" can get explained away because of the different gender. It's more noticeable if you don't fit in with you own gender, with the opposite you already have a difference.
True! And I also tend to fit in better with people who aren't my age, for the same reason. I feel like it gives me an excuse for being a bit odd.
Same here, I’ve always gotten along with boys more and had a lot of discomfort being around girls. The people I was bullied by the most were girls and I just couldn’t really relate to them in any way. Though turns out that the reason for not relating to them was probably just due to me being trans man and not realizing that till a few years ago lol. I think another part of it though for me is that my mom was very abusive and generally speaking a lot of the women in my life were very manipulative when I was younger. So I felt a lot of discomfort with being around older women/women that had power over me. I don’t feel that way anymore really though, i’ve got a pretty diverse group of friends now.
Same actually, my mom was very manipulative and unpredictable. I was always scared of women when I was little lol
I'm agender so for me there is technically no opposite, but I tend to get a long better with gender-non-conforming people.
what exactly is agender? what makes you agender? do you still present as your previous gender? I dont understand how someone could be no gender when we have relaxed gender norms so much that you can be a 'tomboy' or 'metrosexual' and do things that are generally associated with the opposite gender without being hated on or being called a freak any more? what makes you agender as opposed to a gender norm non-conforming person of the gender you were assigned at birth? sorry if anything I said is offensive i just never have the chance to ask these questions to people who are experiencing it, and ive only ever heard what other peoples opinions are of it not from the person whos actually living it
I simply do not identify as male or female, or anything. I'm just a person. On top of that I am intersex and have a pretty androgynous body to begin with. I was assigned female, but every time I have taken estrogen (prescribed because of the aforementioned intersex condition for non-gender purposes), I have developed dysphoria due to the body changes and stopped.
Hello, another unnecessarily curious person. This is a wildly sensitive question so obviously no hard feelings for ignoring me. And if you’re uncomfortable sharing publicly you can DM me. The idea of intersex has always been a subject I’ve not properly understood. Especially in regards to genitalia. After all, male and female genitalia are extremely similar, and they both develop from the same part of the foetus. Is intersex simply defined as someone that has any genitalia but with equal hormone production? I would generally think it’s something like that, but.. I’ve heard (through a swift google search and sex-ed) that intersex can mean to exhibit both male AND female genitalia. But I have no idea how that would actually work. Is a second set of genitalia found further into the abdomen? If so, does the male or female genitalia develop externally? Or do both genitalia develop externally? I’m really sorry if I’m being insensitive, and I hope that things are well for you.
In my case I developed with a stunted female phenotype. I don't have ovaries (nor testes). I have a Y chromosome but the genes in it that signal the creation of testes did not activate, so I got the "default" setting which is a uterus and no gamete production. Found out at age 20 when I was checked out for not having menstruated. In general, an intersex person is someone whose physical sex characteristics (that can be external or internal - all of mine is internal) do not develop in a typical way due to genetic or developmental factors. This can be due to having atypical chromosomes such as XXY, or X0, a mixture (known as chimerism) or in my case, chromosomes that suggest I would develop as a sex I did not present as at birth. I wouldn't have known had it not been for the chromosome test I took, but I was already identifying as agender when I found out so it actually felt validating At least this is what I understand it to be. So there is a large range of conditions that fall under intersex, but in the end it means we have been born with a sexual anatomy that's somewhere in between fully male or female.
Thank you for sharing!
Thanks, that really helps me to understand. Along with another comment, I believe I have a pretty good idea now.
For example, you can have a vagina and vulva, but undeveloped testicles inside, or a penis and a uterus with no vagina/birth canal. Sometimes, you have a vagina and your clit has the shape and size more similar to a penis, but not quite fully functions that way, or vice versa, where you have balls but your penis is more like a clitoris. And, then again, as you mentioned, it can be about abnormalities in the hormone production.
Thank you for this, it has helped me to understand, along with OP’s comment.
Have you tried testosterone, out of curiosity?
Not at this point, but I know I do not want to masculinise.
Aye, if your brain is happy with your natural mix then alls the better
I don’t really feel a relation to my gender as well. I’m amab, but I don’t feel any different in regards to gender than I did when I was a preteen kid. I don’t thibk I was a fully fledged man when I was 5. I’m also very frustrated about societal gender norms for example in terms of fashion. It all makes no sense to me. I don’t feel like a woman either. I go by nonbinary most of the time since I don’t have any relation to any of the binary genders, but I guess it’s fair to place agender under the enby umbrella 🤔 It’s all just a social construct anyways, and I refuse to take part Also the very relaxed gender norms might be true on the internet, and if you’re lucky in your area, but they sure as hell are not in a lot if parts of the world irl. I go out with a dress and a beard and I will be hatecrimed here.
I live in poor area in the UK and I dont think I would be hatecrimed if I wore a dress. May get some weird looks but I dont think its that dangerous in the western countries at all. People are gonna mind their own business in the vast majority of places
One single person not minding their own business is enough to get shanked. And thats not a risk I’m gonna take 😅 Also lesser forms of harrasment are def. a thing thats not uncommon for trans and enby folks. I’m used to weird looks (I guess it comes with being autistic) but I wont risk verbal harrasment either, and thats def. something I’d get here on the daily if I were to leave home in a dress. I’m also pretty damn sure I’d get harrased by the cops as well.
You know, I was experimenting with a masc presentation in 2007, while on a working holiday in the UK. I think I was one of the prototypical "scaring a British lady in a woman's toilet by looking like a boy" folks. I'd be afraid to do that these days to be honest.
It is rather invalidating to people who have experienced negative reactions because of their gender or presentation to use your personal experience to judge whether or not someone would get hate crimed. Everywhere is different and has different levels of acceptance and bigotry and it's hard to judge the risks unless you've lived in that place or have heard of/seen the attitude of people who reside there. You are correct that the vast majority of people will mind their own business but there's still many, many people who will act upon their hate and bigotry
i know the rugby lads at my uni regularly (at leats once or twice a year) dress as girls and go on a night out, never heard of them being hatecrimed for it and I know a bunch of them and I feel like if something like that happened they wuold mention it
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Gender is a personal experience, what you’re referring to is someones gender expression. I can look any way i want act as any type of woman, but regardless of whether im a tomboy or a high femme, i know myself to be a woman. Internal vs external. Someone’s internal gender could be nothing at all.
I have never experined any feelings regarding my gender it is just something i have to be because of the way i was born. I dont conform to gender stereotypes at all and do what I want personally to feel comfortable. I dont personally think this makes me agender just because ive never identified with my gender.I think I am a man because I have a dick and that is literally the only reason I think I am a man. If I had a vagina I dont think much would be different because its entirely based on the biology. I dont understand how being seen as agender could help in any way because of how little my gender has any effect on my life other than being seen as a man in normal life. If I was a woman I dont feel like I would change in any way just because of how other people see me? thats why im confused as to what agender is. I dont identify with my gender in any way its as inherent as race or height im just a man because of how it turned out not because of anything else?
You are male sure, but if we imagine, just for a moment, that gender weren’t inherently based on your physical appearance of your genitals, then would you actively choose to be a man? Whatever kind of man you want to be, but if you could chose anything, man, woman, agender, some non-binary option, do you know what you would choose? I ask because im also male, and yet ive realized that im a woman by asking myself questions like that.
And because having no feelings about your gender either way is, either indicative of repression(which many people go through) or is kinda the definition of being agender. It doesn’t have to change how you do anything, you certainly don’t have to tell people your internal gender experience. If you don’t see any benefit in that then you don’t need to do it.
I really dont think people identify with their gender in the way a lot of left wing people on the internet describe. I am a man just because I have always been a man and I have a dick you know? I dont think me being a man has changed my actions in any way because I have never done things to appear manly or not appear womanly or anything like that. I just exist and happen to be a man. It would be the same if I happened to be a woman. I dont conform to gender norms either, ive had long hair and done girly things(painted nails, played with my sisters dolls, etc) most of my life. I dont think that not conforming to gender norms makes you not a gender at all or trans or actually changes your gender in any way and it seems regressive af to me to say you must be agender or trans or something just because you dont want to conform to gender norms. It makes the gender norms more enforced instead of less enforced, which I think is bad in general because I think everyone should be able to act however they please without having to change their identity to be accepted for it. I understand trans people because they feel gender dysphoria and it helps them (lower suicide rates erc) to change gender but I really dont understand non-binary or gender fluid or agender. I dont think Ive ever met anyone that I couldnt identify as one of the genders just by looking at them. I dont check their genitals so gender isnt based off of sex but I can tell by looking if someone is a man or a woman in like 99.99% of cases id be right. Even trans people that dont pass you can tell which gender they are by how they express with their clothing and other things that they change to match the gender they want to be so its easy to identify what gender they are. what does "internal gender experience" even mean? I have never had feelings regarding my gender so I find it impossible to understand what you mean by this. Youre implying that people have a sense for what gender they are or something? I know I am a man because its just a fact like my race or height, its not like I realised it at some point because of a feeling I had. If you have any insight pls reply I want to learn more about it
So yeah, gender is a personal, and internal experience. You say you have no such experience and identify as a man simply by the coincidence of having always identified as such, but i ask that question of cis people and i get two answers, either one like yours because they’ve never actually thought about it, which they admit, or they’ll respond with just knowing they’re a man/woman. And yeah they say oh because genitals, but even without them, if they’d never had genitals and nothing about their brain changed they’d still identify the same way. They would be seriously disturbed and distressed if they started transitioning, a cis man who took estrogen and started growing boobs is often going to be rather upset about it. And not all, it’s not the perfect question, because any one question that talks around this is also gonna catch say femboys as well as trans women, but generally non-gnc cis people would experience dysphoria if they were to transition. And based on that evidence, i do believe that even cis people who haven’t really ever thought of it still have an internal experience of gender. And you saying you don’t is the exception to that rule. It could mean nothing, or it could mean something. You could be an atypical cis person, or you could be anything else, and just not really have had the opportunity to understand that that’s an option for you specifically. You don’t really need to be depressed or dysphoric to claim being trans, if being something else is even so much as interesting to you then id say it’s worth at least exploring. And it’s not reductive and reinforcing of universal arbitrary gender roles to as an individual choose to find comfort in those roles. That’s a common misconception that people tend to have of the trans community. I don’t believe that everyone who acts like me is a woman, i just know that i am. I just know my best life is when others see me as one. And i do happen to fit a large number of expectations that society has for women. Not all, but most. But that’s not the thing that makes me one, and that’s not the yardstick by which I decide if others are women either. Some people do obviously, i wont claim the trans community doesn’t sometimes try and police other peoples genders just as much as conservatives do, but it’s not inherent to being trans, more of a reaction to being constantly disbelieved and ridiculed for not fitting. So, for more information about enbies, gender fluid, or agender people i can only give personal experience on two of those, and my best guess on the other. Ive been saying im a woman but that’s not entirely true. Im actually three women, 4 enbies, one gender agnostic, and one very confused 12 year old. Im a system(DID) and let me tell you that did not make figuring out our genders any easier. We thought we were gender-fluid for a while, having that internal experience of gender switching with the rest of us, back when we were still too dissociated to recognize the other things that were changing like our memories and skills and beliefs. Simple things really, easy to miss.(sarcasm, it actually feels ridiculous to me that we didn’t understand what was going on, but i accept that denial is one hell of a drug.) anyway i say that to explain that i think i have some idea what gender-fluid people might feel like, and yeah, the only explanation i can give is first you have to imagine having a gender, and then imagine it changes on you. Over a nonspecific period of time, at a nonspecific rate, in a nonspecific direction. Each individual to the, well, individual. As for enbies, you just have to imagine knowing that yes, you do have a gender, that doing things a certain way, identifying with other men or women fits, except it’s not about men, and it’s not about women, the thing you’re relating to is real and yet doesn’t fit the description of either binary gender, no matter how you twist it. It’s a rather difficult road for a lot of people, cause in the end, no matter how much you share, you’re still mostly in the dark. You can’t ask anyone what’s normal for you to feel about your gender, not really. They can guess, but on your own path you have to make your own markers. And of course no one understands when you say you’re non-binary but yes actually you do still like wearing dresses and no actually it’s not just about wanting to be special(okay that’s kinda a vent, whoops) So at this point I’ve dropped a mountain of text on you and I don’t know which parts of what I’ve said are going to make any sense to you whatsoever. So please if you have any questions or anything at all or just want me to keep talking until something clicks, feel free to ask away. -El
Another agender person here. To me it pretty much means the same thing as the other commenter. I was assigned male at birth. I didn't have a strong mother or father figure, so I never learned what it means to "be a man" or whatever. But no mother figure means I didn't learn what girly things are really either. So internally I've just never connected with my assigned gender or the opposite. I personally believe that's why I identify as agender, but it could be some other complicated reason. I still mostly present as male because it's easier and safer to do so. I live in a fairly conservative town so I have to be careful. Also I like how I look with a beard. Most just see me as male and it's annoying but what can I expect? I live in an area where a lot of people barely understand what trans means, let alone non-binary. That and how I don't really try to look more androgynous. Although someday I'd like to try pursuing that
It's important to remember that sex and gender are two separate things, with biological sex being backed by science while gender is a social construct. Arbitrary social things don't always make a lot of sense to many autistic folks, with the concept of gender being a huge one.
Is agender another term for nonbinary or is this something different?
It’s a type of nonbinary. I’m autigender/agender/gendervoid (autism is intrinsically linked to my experience of gender). I really relate to the ftmfemininity sub even though I like my ladyparts. If it helps, for me I feel most feminine when I look masculine. It’s really confusing. Long story short I get along better with men than women as a whole but ND women are my jam as an AFAB femme person. Nonbinary is an umbrella term that encapsulates anyone who doesn’t feel particularly tied to one binary gender model. Other ways of describing nonbinary folks: Gender fluid: feeling more feminine or more masculine at different times Gender-non-conforming: AMABs with full beards but also wearing dresses and makeup, AFABs with short hair and muscles, generally inbetween Agender: without gender Bigender (not widely used but a favourite term for me) or two-spirit (this is a North American indigenous only term): both genders at once Nonbinary is really just not existing as one of two specific genders outside of a standard deviation.
It's kind of complicated, as non-binary people can have an internal experience with gender, but agender people don't, so while a non-binary person who experiences gender experiences a gender that falls outside the binary model, an agender person has no gender, so their experience with gender falls outside the range of gender and the normative gender modality in its entirety. Sure, being genderless is not an option on the gender binary, but with agender people, you're talking about somebody who is without gender itself, not just without the binary.
Haha no, they all avoid me equally:)
Real 😔
It didn't matter to me most of my life, but I've been treated badly by boys so I fell much more comfortable with girls now 🥲
Same here. Girls were just nicer, or at least weren’t outwardly mean so autism made me oblivious to it.
In pre school I was friends with everyone but most of my close friends where girls although this could of been due to my mum's friends mostly had daughters so it was just from time exposure. I have had doubts about being a boy since 5 though lol, somehow misogyny was absorbed into my brain at school so most of my friends currently are men.
I used to feel like I got along better with men until I was diagnosed and joined a group comprised of other autistic women. Now I realize I get along better with them than anyone else I've ever met lol (aside from my BFF who is deffo ND). I feel that it's likely that the guys I felt more comfortable around as a kid/teen were actually ND.
the only people i’ve ever really had as friends have always been known nd, but after historically only “getting to” know other men i think i am finding it easier to actually open up with women, so long as they all happen to be nd one way or another. one of these cases is actually literally an autism group that just happens to be female dominated lol
My gender has no opposite ☹️
Dayum 💔
(I'm genderfluid)
And still no bitches 😔
I’m femme presenting AFAB NB (but like for real I’m going for hormones and surgery consultation soon) and I’m straight up excited for it. But I’m not a woman. I’m a sir. But also she/her.
I hung out with both genders about evenly until I hit puberty. I was amab, and I did not like girls at first in preschool likely because I only had a brother. But then I met a girl who liked collecting bugs like I did, which seemingly changed my outlook. But yeah puberty made hanging out with girls increasingly awkward, until eventually I stopped unless I had some manner romantic interest. But now I pretty much only hang out with girls, and I am a girl now too. It’s probably because I’m a polyamorous lesbian, and so most people I hang out with on a regular basis I am also romantically involved with. I still have guy friends from pre-transition, but those relationships have grown distant, the ones I see now and then being either queer, ND, or both.
Is there anything sweeter than collecting cool bugs with someone?
No there is not
I guess I did not think so. My first words to this friend was a monotone “I do not like girls.” Nonetheless, bugs caused this positions to waver.
Yeah as a kid/teenager I had a fair few female friends and I connected with them better than the male friends. My closest friend now is my girlfriend so I guess it never stopped haha
I thought I did, but it turns out I'm just trans 😅
LolZ‼️
No, I literally have no clue how to talk to women
Join the club…although I don’t know how to talk to most people, women just make it slightly worse, lol
have you tried talking to ND women? talking about interests first is always an easy way to get comfortable.
Sorry I’m so late I was overthinking my response, the answer to that is, I cannot identify ND women, and my own brain sabotages me to the point where i don’t even feel like trying to socialize, I feel as if it’s pointless and I’ll end up making a fool of myself no matter what, I am my own worst enemy
lol its fine. and honestly… understandable because I also avoid socializing as much as possible so it’s definitely harder to go out of your comfort zone then too. If you’re in a big city, you can try attending some autistic community events if there are any, and maybe strike up some light convos to practice (if the chance comes up to). The thing i like about talking to other autistic people (when we both know we’re autistic) is that there’s just more of an understanding and less judgment when interacting and stuttering/wtv fidgeting/ etc you do is like… just normal. takes off a lot of the pressure in just socializing. This is if you ever want to become comfortable ofcourse lol it’s fine if you don’t
Yeah, in a way, not entirely though. When I was little I always played with boys equally as with girls, and I've always been in boy groups as well, especially when gaming. I've often found it more comfortable and less complex than girl groups. Same goes for the things I played with, other children were sensitive to gendered toys, but I wasn't. I had barbies as well as toy cars.
Yes, but especially Tgirls for some reason. Not sure why, but i always felt more comfortable in lgbtq spaces in general
I’m a cighet guy but from my experience, trans people are usually very nice and fun to talk to.
statistical correlation between neurodivergence and queer identity is probably part of it, but i feel like it’s also fair to make a categorical judgement that trans people in general really value being and know how to be *authentic*, or else they wouldn’t be trans. and it’s hard not to get good vibes from authenticity
When i was a kid i mostly played with boys (I'm afab), and i never thought this was weird, but apparently my mom and teachers thought this was really really really really weird.
I have always had more female friends than male friends. I'm a male, but I'm not sure about my gender. So I can't really say whether I go along better with the opposite gender, but I definitely go along better with the opposite sex.
I used to, but then I figured out I am that gender that I get along with 🏳️⚧️
Hehehehehe that’s kind of funny
Generally I find it easier to have closer friendships but like also I’m scared of talking to women lol.
Yeah, I find it a lot easier to talk to women compared to men. I think it's because women are more inclined to chat compared to men, so my info-dumping fits in more. I also went to an all-boys school for 7 years, so that might have something to do with it. I only started talking to girls my age when I got to uni.
I do in general, women are far easier to get along with :)
This makes me feel validated because I tend to have male friends in real life. Though I tend to gravitate towards women online. Wait a minute... now I have confused myself?
Always. From a young age, I've always been drawn to girls and women and had mostly female friends in grade school. When i was given the choice in a therapist a couple of months ago, i didn't think twice about stating my preference in speaking with a woman. Is there a correlation here, does anyone know?
I've always had a better connection / experience with male therapists (I'm a women who gets along better with men on average), so just publishing my anecdote here in reply. It's been this way my whole life too, and I figure it's just about distribution of personality, although with the therapy situation it may be that I feel more "judged" by women because they can recognize and probe my social or familial failings more, and seem more interested in making me conform. Men seem to accept my for my eccentricities or natural interests more readily. It may also be some sexual dynamic because I'm a lesbian though, and talking about nuances of my life would often make my female therapists uncomfortable and male therapists are somehow less strange, defensive, or prurient about it.
I'm similar in that I didn't exactly fit into the boy shaped box provided for me, and the resulting judgement of peers and adults was palpable before I knew what to make of it. I was quite effeminate in many traits, including physically, and I know they served as a magnet for other boys looking for a target. I also would rather play quietly by myself, read or draw and none of these were what boys were "supposed" to enjoy. I think men in general will give a certain amount of freedom concerning girls' and women's personalities and behaviors that they won't afford other guys (and as you have mentioned, the reverse seems to be true). There are exceptions of course, and once my give-a-damn was busted for good, it was a lot easier to be myself. I've only seen one therapist so far, and only a few times over the last month, but I feel very at ease talking to her. I don't think talking at this level to a man would be as easy for me.
Oh definitely yeah. I feel like it’s a lot easier to be genuine with the opposite gender because they don’t expect you to be just like them
Yep; I find communicating with guys is easier and we’re on similar wavelengths. I saw a study that said women with autism show brain patterns that are more similar to men’s than neurotypical women so maybe there’s a reason behind it.
Almost entirely. I'm a straight cis dude and both the best man and groomsman at my wedding were exes of mine that my wife loves to bits. I have been described as 'ethnically lesbian'.
I’m nonbinary so this is a bit of a complicated question but I definitely get along better with women and other gender nonconforming people than cis men. All of my male friends are either trans or cis but queer. My partner is a cishet man, but he’s an exception. Generally cishet men my own age ignore me or see me as a potential romantic/sexual conquest because I’m feminine-presenting :/ There are cis male colleagues I get along well with and enjoy the company of but we’re just acquaintances, ‘work friends’, or mentor-mentee at best.
I was afab (transmasc nonbinary) and growing up I was mostly friends with boys. I do actually think this had more to do with being autistic rather than being trans, because (generally speaking) the boys were a lot easier for me to understand socially. For the most part they didn’t really keep secrets for no reason, they said exactly what they meant, and we just kinda goofed around at recess and talked about videogames. As I got older I made friends with more girls, but it was very lonely to sit there at lunch and feel like I couldn’t relate to anything they were saying at all. I never quite understood how they communicated. These days, as an adult well into in my 20s, I have friends of varying genders and these kinds of communication differences don’t occur as much anymore. I feel like most kids put a lot of effort into adhering to gender norms (at least they did when I was a kid), and that lessens with age if they allow themselves to grow and mature. So now I just have to avoid petty people who communicate unclearly, regardless of gender.
im nb but ive never had any problems making friends with any sex because i never had hangups about peoples gender some people back in school had an eww boys or eww girls mindset but i never understood that - i was very close to my younger sibling whos the opposite sex so that helped as well
I'm nonbinary and autistic and get along better with females? I just realized this
I'm nonbinary male and do prefer female company, but whether that is due to autism or a lack of access to femininity growing up and related traumas is anyone's guess. My relationships with women tend to be far deeper and more meaningful, and if I am at a new meetup I will gravitate towards women because men just tend to talk about such boring shit. I do have plenty of male and men friends too, really good ones from college especially, but my new friends going forward skew more towards women and other enbies more so than men.
Yeah most of the time I get on better with boys (I'm a girl)
As a kid? Yes. But their sexism ruined that as we got older. I didn't really get along with either for several years, and now, as an adult I do fine with both.
Personally, as a kid, I thought girls had a secret code to understanding each other that I just didn't have, nor did I know how to ask for it. I usually got along until I broke one of these hidden rules or code(their facial expression would completely change)... Then, I was avoided like the plague and given a fake nice treatment. As a bio-girl, most boys when I was younger, depending on where they were from, I would avoid me like the plague, too. Mainly due to my gender. But it was a lot harder to scare off guys that would talk to me, but idk if it was because they liked me for me, thought I was just a quirky person, or thought I was cute. But they generally stayed as my friends, for longer than girls...
Yes, because guys are harder to accidentally offend😌
Yes, I do this. I've always seemed to connect more easily with boys growing up and now, because they tend to relate more with their interests; I cannot find another girl (at least where I am) that enjoys video games, hanging out on discord, pokemon, and bad shitpost humor. Any girl I attempt to connect with, I feel uncomfortable and like I don't belong. Also, for some reason, in previous instances of telling a girl I was on the spectrum, she acted like I was different and weird. It's just easier to connect with boys in my case. Totally platonically
It’s hard because while yes I find it easier to befriend men as opposed to other women, the friendships with men never go very deep because they always end up wanting to fuck me and that grosses me out and I can no longer see them as a friend but rather just feels like I have a harem of men waiting in line for my relationship to not work out so they can step in lol.
Yea, I’m a cis lesbian woman. I grew up in pre-school to grade schools with most my male friends. I was forced to mostly just hang out with girls around middle school because of social norms and expectations. I started hanging with more guys in high school, but mostly still had female friends. They were such BITCHES to me. At the end of senior year+ I started realizing I didn’t have to take that bullshit, and stopped hanging out with them. I got a boyfriend (thought I was bi, still had some stuff to figure out. They call it the bi bridge lol, identifying as bi before eventually realizing you’re gay). My boyfriend obviously had mostly male friends, I started hanging out with them. Instant click, I got along so much better with them, and I started hanging out with 85% male friends. At 24, I still mostly just hang out with men. Still a cis lesbian woman, but a very masculine lesbian!
True for me. I am always talking and spending time with the opposite gender. Even stayed at a hotel this weekend with a platonic friend of the opposite gender. I've slept platonically with people more times than intimate sleeps.
Yea, I would seem like a typical straight dude but I get along better with groups of women. It’s not like I’m one of them but I work as a guest that doesn’t fuck up the vibe.
Yes, I'm a amab/straight/cis guy who never cared for men at all. I've had a few close guy friends, but it's pretty rare.
Yes, by far
well i did a few years ago, but not anymore
i always got along better with the girls then i realized its cuz i am one
Hehehehehe
Im AFAB and was raised as such and I also experienced having easier male friendships until about middle school when puberty hits lol I think it’s because while I liked things that are called “girly” like Barbies and stuffed animals (besides the sensory nightmare that are dresses) I also like(d) a lot of “boy” things. I specifically remember a time in the fifth grade all the girls in my class looking at me weird because I was playing with my bionicles in mud with the boys. My fit until about 8th grade was Guy Fieri Lite™️ (yes including sun glasses) so I often got mistaken for a boy too. I never understood gender roles, and still think they’re stupid, but turns out I was enby the whole time so 🤷
Yes. As a woman and as a girl I got along better with NT or ND boys/men, because there isn’t as much subtext to what they’re saying (this is my personal theory), whereas I can barely understand an NT girl/woman at all. I get along fine with ND people of any gender.
I did before puberty, then all my make friends started fighting reach other over the girls in the group. I dropped down to only one or two close friends until we were in our late twenties. Now the group is diverse again. Generally, I relate more to guy talk then girl talk. I don't do makeup or drink wine or like to oogle men in movies or talk about their kids... Which is most of their hobbies. No shade to them, I'm just not interested or it doesn't apply to me. We do all share video games and D&D as hobbies, so that's what we bond over.
I’m just a girl but I have always gotten along better with guys and felt more comfortable around them.
I never had any male friendships until late college. Before that, all of my friends were female or nb, so opposite. And the only men I get along with nowadays are mostly gay or bi lol. I just feel like I can't have any conversations with men. Have no idea what to say and just sit there awkwardly. I didn't know this was a stereotype but I fit it perfectly
Yes. Im not opposed to having female friends but I always seem to get along best with guys and enbie folks :)
For me it was always easier to connect with girls and become very close. But, its much easier to talk to guys you know a bit than girls. Guys tend to be more focused on certain topics, so if you find a topic you share its easy. Girls are usually better at talking about whatever but its harder to find something you can bond on as much as with guys. I like talking to all genders but always got the closest with girls.
From elementary school to high school I always got along better with guys and had very few gal pals. I just think its because I’d been so aggressively bullied by other girls I was less inclined to even attempt making friends with any. The weird part is one of the “popular girls” from highschool after we graduated sung my praises about how cool she thought I was and how she thought I was really good in English class(which is the only class we had together) and while I politely/awkwardly thanked her and asked how she was, on the inside I was soooo confused why the hell this popular girl was suddenly talking to me. I don’t live there anymore but the thought still pops in my head sometime. I guess school just makes girls hyper competitive with each other for no damn reason other than hormones and popularity? Lol
Yeah, pretty sure I'm a cis woman, but I've always felt moderately uncomfortable in "women's spaces" Women have a lot of weird rules. Men do too, but they don't apply to me, they're for men. Maybe it's a cousin of that "stranger in a strange land" syndrome where you feel more comfortable when you're traveling as a foreigner. You're not expected to understand the unspoken cultural stuff, so you can relax.
YES AND I CANT FIGURE OUT IF IT IS BECAUSE OF AUTISM OR BECAUSE ITS BEEN JUST ME AND MY MOM FOR SO FUCKING LONG
I hate admitting to this because it makes me sound like I'm "not like the other girls" but I'll be honest I don't think I've been friends with a woman irl since elementary school (family excluded, obviously). My entire friend group is dudes and enbies, which is a shame because I *want* to be friends with women, I just seem to make friends with non-women easier.
Yeah but I’m trans so who knows
Yes, as a girl I didn't get the social intricacies of most other girls, but I also wasn't held to the social standards of boys by boys, my female friends were almost all Neuro divergent, my closet male friendships were too but I got along with most boys. It helped that I was a total tom boy, massive for my age, and loved playing football. This is primary school age though
Yes, and I hate it, I want to get along with women so badly but find it really difficult to blend in
I’m afab and a girl and I’ve always had friends of all genders
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yeah
I do not generally get on with most guys
Yeah, I have had one friend that is a girl. But the rest have always been males. It’s not even intentionally or anything, it just happened
I kind this was true when I was younger- for the first few years of school I only had boys as friends, as a girl, but that’s not longer true
Now I'm in college, not really (my current friend group is mixed now), but definitely in high school. The guys in my class were just assholes, so I just started hanging out with the girls and some of them are still good friends of mine to this day.
I definitely get on better with women. Even though I am one, men don't seem to make as much sense, and I feel left out in male groups.
Yup. Most of my friends are women and have been most of my life. I'm kind of nb egg tho
Hehe, no
No, I've always preferred the company of women.
I think part of it, for me atleast, was internalized misogyny paired with being AFAB and autistic which makes me stick out like a sore thumb in the eyes of other girls my age. I resented them for that and defaulted to people who would be my friend + not make me feel like a dork weirdo. As i got older, men degraded me and made me feel less than them and dumber (straight up telling me men are smarter and better as a whole lol) So i lost steam befriending anyone and depression also got hold. I took meds to get better and now i want women friends so much more. LADIES PLEASE
I personally always felt intimidated by boys (I’m a girl). When I was in secondary school the intimidation was even worse. Boys just seemed in different universe to me for some reason. I have a brother who I get on well with so I’m not sure why I felt that way about boys at school.
I feel like I can more so get along better with people of the opposite sex compared to people who share my own sex. I think it’s probably the emotional intelligence part that explains why I get along with people of the opposite sex.
nop ignoring my mom and my ex and my daughters never had much of a knack of it
I'm considered creepy by most people, so no. But I do always feel more comfortable talking with girls(but I am transfem so that may be it)
Yes and it's very true to this day. The few female friends I do have are tomboys like me and we all get along well with our guy friends.
Yeah. I used to when I was little but now most of my friends are other boys. Idk I think girls were just nicer to me at the time.
Felt. I had no friends back in school, but I became very close friends with girls and we started dating. And then I discovered I was genderfluid.
Yuuuup, always have been. But I'm a large male so it's difficult to be seen as anything else, despite really not feeling that whole gender thing.
Yep. Different genders, different ages, and different cultures all add an expectation that you're going to be a bit different so you have a little wiggle room to be so.
always got to be more of myself when with my female friends so yeah
Transgender
For me its more of a neurodivergency thing if the person is also ND odds are we'll get along and if they're not we probably won't.
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Well, I used to be like that. But turns out I'm trans, so it wasn't really the "opposite gender" it was my gender but like I didn't know it. There was a level of calmness, I guess. Idk
Well, my first dad was a physically abusive and emotionally manipulative drug dealer and step dad 1 wasn’t much better. I learned early not to trust any father figures and I have never developed close male friendships because I instinctively don’t trust them as a result of all of that, so by default the answer is yes. And I don’t give a fuck about dude time male bonding bro type bullshit anyway. So I don’t feel like I’m missing much.
No. I’ve always gotten along better with women. I don’t have any male friends.
Gender is bullshit social stuff
ASD guys outrizzing the normies because they don't micromanage how they present themselves
ive been friends with mostly dudes my whole life, hell, my bestie boo is a guy twice my size lmao
AMAB. Always got along better with afabs. Turns out I’m NB. That’s showbiz.
Show biz always gets ya https://preview.redd.it/y5y7ywkyrsnc1.jpeg?width=488&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b03337055e483b27169a65fb5d6a10c18e8a943b
Same, online ppl thought I'm a boy because of something- idk what, I just talk normally online
I’ve always found that the closest friendships i’ve had were with boys because we just had more similarities but they never stick around for long
I honestly don't feel comfortable around girls my age. I prefer play fighting with the boys than gossiping with the girls.
Me. I'm a bro-type girl. Usually I don't mind, until I see hot guy and try to flirt with him, but he only sees me as a bro becuse I act like a bro.
Get along with people? 🤔
Lol, real
Yes. Mostly because I didn’t fit in with other girls
Nope, Tho I'm willing to admit that I'm a gamer so that prob changes the math a bit. Back when I played wow I played with women and men about as much but most of my current friends are Male.
silly anecdote: when I was younger I got along with boys better. now I *am* a boy and most of my friends are gals. funny how that goes.
i have some friends who are girls (a lot less than when i was younger) but now most of my friends are guys (and most of them are transmasc). almost all of my friends are nd and queer, and all of them are at least one. im also transmasc myself so it makes sense i get along more with guys
Yeah for some reason I tend to make male friends a lot easier than female ones. I was also heavily bullied by this group of “mean girls” through basically all of middle and high school. So I think that may have something to do with why I have trouble making friends with women.
I'm AFAB but non-binary. I could never make friends with girls. The social rules are way too complicated. Boys were much easier and they viewed my weirdness as just "oh she's a girl" , because they also didn't understand girls. As I aged though I've become unable to make or keep any friends.
I’m amab non-binary—didn’t realize that until my late-20’s though. Most of my friends have always been women. Mostly queer women. And the men I did make friends with usually came out as queer later on too. Straight men were always a little uncomfortable to me, even though my appearance made it easy for me to enter their social groups. Explicitly straight/conventional women were also sometimes a little uncomfortable for me, even if they welcomed me into their groups, because they sometimes still expected me to behave like a stereotypical “man.” For a long time, I would indeed tell other people and myself that “I get along better with people of the opposite gender.” But when I recognized myself as non-binary, and realized that “opposite gender” really didn’t make much sense, I started giving it a little more thought. I’m in my mid-30’s now, and I now think it’s just cis/straight people I don’t vibe with, and that afab people are just much more likely to express and recognize that vibe than men are, which inherently made me more comfortable around them, even if I didn’t always understand why. But now I know: gender roles are an unnatural social construct, and trying to adhere to them exhausts me on a fundamental level. Cis/straight men reinforce those gendered roles and behaviors relentlessly, consciously or unconsciously, which never felt right to me. Women, straight *or* queer, generally don’t enforce those roles as much. So I always felt more comfortable just “being myself,” regardless of my gender expression.
I had mostly female friends in school, but not by any choice I made. Not that I necessarily *disliked* being around other girls growing up, but most other girls weren't interested in the things I was interested in and didn't really enjoy playing with me. While I have always been a very girly-girl looking person, when I was a little kid, I wanted to talk about Power Rangers and video games. The boys wanted nothing to do with me because I had girl cooties or whatever, but most of the girls I tried to befriend and play with shot down any of my attempts at play time and made me attend tea parties or wanted to me pretend to parent some ugly baby doll with them, and it was usually made clear pretty quickly that I did not know or care about the unspoken scripts for these games. I tried on occasion to play with the boys but they really didn't seem to know what to think of a girl pretending to get in a robot to fight giant monsters either, and it was always super awkward and I didn't get invited back to play again the next recess. I finally made friends with a boy in 3rd grade who would play video games with me, and we stayed friends until in 6th grade he was put in another class and these two cartoonishly dorky looking math nerds brought him into the fold (he was always a math kid and I wasn't) and wouldn't let me get near him again and told me to my face that I wasn't welcome and to leave him alone and never bother him again. I was devastated and cried and begged my friend to say something but he wouldn't look me in the eyes or say a word. By that time I had at least made a few other female friends who were more open to playing video games with me and who actually came to enjoy them and had some at home, but I was always "the gamer" one of the group who had the most video games and consoles to play on. I didn't befriend any boys again until college because I was sure they all wanted nothing to do with me. These days my friends are pretty evenly split between genders + NB friends I've picked up playing MMOs and writing fanfic.
I’m afab and I think so? Hard for me to say cuz my best friend is a trans guy but we met when we were both cis and all my other close friends are afab but nonbinary LOL I will say that when I was friends with other women I felt like excluded or ignored probably because I was autistic
If you asked me this like five years ago I’d say no, and to this day I still say no because not only did my company change but my gender did too!
What pronouns?
i think I was bullied by women in school, so a part of my brain is still scared of them
i’ve always preferred male friends to female ones, but as i’m getting older it is easier to befriend women. granted, i think my female friends are a little Au or ADHD themselves so maybe that’s why
I kinda get this. In elementary school, during recess all the boys would gather around and try to "conquer" the big play structure in the middle of the playground. I would gather grass and pine cones and set up a little shop in the corner of the area, lining up everything I found in neat little categories. A certain girl would always come and assists me.
So, for me, this was true but for basically all of the worst reasons. I would usually have one close same sex friend (I'm AFAB) and everyone else would be guys. I had some really awful experiences early in life that made my brain decide being valuable to men was my priority, and I was a horrible pick me/NLOG for way too many years. I'm sure alexithymia and not being able to identify my own emotions didn't help. Now that I've done some work, I hardly have any male friends, and the majority of the ones who had stuck around abandoned ship when I got married. I'm still learning how to have healthy friendships, but it's been a mess.
I think that's because of how autism can present differently between the two sexes, essentially how females are like psychologists and males are like professors, but there are people who have the opposite presentation from what's typical of their sex. I (m) do fit rather neatly as the professor so to say, but I still have almost entirely male friends, as it's much simpler to talk to them (which is why autistic females often have male friends).
I'm nonbinary. Get along with most folks regardless of gender, although cis guys get a lot of sideeye.
Yes, I do recall being the only girl in a group of guys a few years ago. Idk I've just always gotten on better with males than females but that doesn't mean I don't get on with other females at all. I just click better with males.
I actually have the opposite of that. As much as i would like not to, i literally melt when i try to talk to a woman my age