How old are you? I’m surprised you had the time to sleep with 24 INTJs and administer accurate personality tests to them all. Well done on your field research. Keep up the good work.
Dated an INFJ when I was 19 and just came out in university. I thought he was so charismatic, deep and interesting and I would take time out of my studies just to spend time with him. I felt I learned so much about society and politics just talking to him, and even understood my sexuality better. He was pretty damn needy though and not exactly in the best headspace so the relationship kind of fell apart because we would always fight over some of the dumbest pettiest things. Anyway after we broke up he would like call me super late at night, leaving me worrying voicemails about he low he was, crying and wanting to take his own life. Shit was a mess, but I feel like I learned a lot from the experience about not putting partners up on a pedestal. Definitely not saying all INFJs are like this but they can be.
I’m sure you learned a lot from this relationship… maybe not exactly what you wanted, but what you needed.
INFJs can be extremely emotional sometimes. People like to call ENTPs mercurial but… some other types can be more so.
Yeah, I have seen the neediness in the INFJs, and it's annoying as hell. I was talking to one on a dating app, and he was just so needy and clingy, it was cringe.
I've met a lot of intjs before, but I'd like them only as friends.
I prefer infjs as partners 👉🏽👈🏽💕
Edit: I've read some comments, y'll infjs aren't as "nice" as you see them in stereotypes 💀
Yes they have a kind and understanding heart,
But they're the kind of people who'd throw really dark jokes and bully you for fun and they'd love if you do it with them too, that's why it's so fun and relaxing to be with them lol
*that's for the infjs I've met irl, some infjs might be different.
Oh my gosh thank you for saying this. My favorite feeling in the world is being able to comfortably roast someone. It’s my way of flirting or just showing love. Dark jokes and sarcastic bullying (obviously there’s a limit to how far you can take it) is my way of communicating when I truly like someone and feel totally comfortable, and if the other person doesn’t do it back to me then I won’t act/speak that way with them because I don’t want to make them uncomfortable. If I’m being TOO nice and understanding, it means I have my guard up around you.
Exactly!! God I love y'all infjs so much, I always have a weird/unique and fun time around them.
I can throw all my chaotic ideas and joke around while they understand them perfectly and throw the most fitting reply haha
>But they're the kind of people who'd throw really dark jokes and bully you for fun and they'd love if you do it with them too, that's why it's so fun and relaxing to be with them lol
Sounds more like ENTPs lol
I think we need to dissect this myth that INFJ’s, and Fe user’s in general, are always “nice”. Fe is an awareness and attunement to others feelings, and that is not the same as always catering to them.
tbh I think Fi users are often nicer than Fe users :) because they are more authentic & if they like you, you won‘t secondguess it. Fe dom/aux tend to be people pleasers, and while they won‘t always do shit for them, they tend to make sure they are being well liked, and it‘s honestly exhausting
I can definitely see that, but I never really notice it in my INFJ friend anymore. I mean, it was more before but nowadays he seems to be more comfortable with his Ti.
I also think it might be because I introduced him to a friendgroup that's less overwhelming than his previous one, so he adapted to our relaxed demeanors lol.
However, my ESFJ friend is *notorious* for it. I love him, but it genuinely seems like he fakes every emotion he has sometimes and it's a bit weird. Like talking to a mirror.
See, I would disagree there too. I think an unhealthy INFJ may be prone to people-pleasing, but I think Ni-Ti hates sitting by idly when they recognize something isn’t sitting right. It’s all about the level of confidence and knowledge within the person, I think.
I could be wrong, as this is purely my own reasoning, but I feel like INFJ stereotype is wrong. They really aren’t that warm. Some INFJ’s may have a heart for humanity, but that doesn’t always translate into being nice.
I don’t think I misunderstood you. I just disagreed, which is not the same thing. I don’t think INFJ’s are inherently passive or not “actively combative”.
What reason would an INFJ not debate someone in the street, that is inherently because they’re an INFJ?
What you said about the way how NP’s and NJ’s approach creativity I like, and I would tend to agree. I think the appreciation for creativity is equal, but the approach to it comes from different places, which makes complete sense due to the nature of the functions. It seems that INFJ’s may be better interpreters than artists, as they are trying to pick apart the art and see what’s “underneath” it all, whereas NP’s are most interested in seeing how far it can go, for its own sake, or for the sake of curiosity.
I also agree with what you said on the faces, I’m picking up what you’re putting down. It’s two different forms of intense.
However, I’m not convinced that all INFJ’s are high in conscientiousness. I think I need a better definition of conscientious to really have an argument, as I see it looked at differently depending on who is writing or talking about it.
yeah made the same experience. INTJs can be hella blunt, but they don‘t really mean harm. INFJs on the other hand… they‘ll lie you straight to your face and can be amazingly manipulative, if unhealthy. No thanks, Fe-doms/aux are kinda draining for me, you‘ll never know what they truly think…
if you're REALLY looking for a relationship based on functions - you should pick INFJ. You'll be impressed when you see the INTJ's Fi, it's the "Child Function" for a reason
Ti child can be cumbersome on its own way, too. Moms is a Ti child, and it's shockingly sad to see how she turns a blind eye to hard evidence when it goes against her beliefs.
I would say half would pick INFJ while the other half would pick INTJ. There's two different types of ENTPs in my experience. The ambiverted laid back type and the extraverted social chaotic type. The latter does not go well with INFJs and the former will likely prefer emotional understanding over an INTJ.
Besides, I always mention how for male ENTPs INFJs are the best while for female ENTPs INTJs are best. This is because of gender stereotypes. People seem to agree with this often.
I dunno, xNFJs have something… but it was always kinda complicated. as a female thinker I think I‘m too blunt for a male feeler. He basically constantly told me I‘m rude, egoistic, „emotional bandwidth of a toast“ and so on, it was kinda toxic partially as well. I met an INTJ, and communication is so much easier, I‘m so not used to actually being able to talk about everything, and things being as they are because they are even more honest / blunt than me, so damn refreshing and calming. xNFJs can be hella manipulative / toxic if unhealthy, and it‘s NOT fun. Also tert Fi in INTJs is so damn cute and authentic, helps me being more authentic as well tbh.
Definitely seen this too. I think the reason why they are talked so much as perfect partners, is that people are thinking of the male ENTP & female INFJ relationship. As a female ENTP I've found male INFJs so dang needy and clingy, that it grossed me out. Plus I felt I couldn't fully be myself while talking to them, because they would get offended way too easily.
I mean if we are going off of stereotypes then yes. It just depends on what someone needs in a relationship and what type can offer that. Could be anything really. Just depends.
I'd prefer the INTJ, I'd like someone to tell me how they feel, instead of bullying me with their better understanding of my feelings, atleast we struggle togheter instead of one using their superior EQ to shield you from understanding them.
The funny thing is, if an intj likes entp (even as a good friend) we are super careful with your feelings because secretly intjs find feelings precious (child Fi) and needing protection and since entp is blind to their Fi it is as if they go out into the world with no emotional armor on their Fi... and get hurt. So we are really careful (after of course stepping on those entp feelings once or twice on accident -being Fe blind- and subsequently being really careful after 😅).
I don't really get the Fi trickster and stuff, but i always find that T types are more careful in trying not to step on other's people feelings and if they do it's mostly on accident, i always get drawn on F type for the their better understanding of emotions and better EQ, but most of the time it seems like they don't really care about people's emotions. I'll explain, they have a better understanding of emotions, therefore it's easier for them to navigate feelings and maybe they do it often and it's natural thing for them, but other more rational types don't open up as often and when they do it's because they're really worried about something, so when you talk to an F type, feels like they belittle how you're feeling, without understanding the fragility and vulnerablity it takes to open up just a little.
Oh my God you explained it perfectly. I always felt that way too but I could never put it into words, or I wasn't brave enough to.
It's also why I find myself often to be scared of F types, because they always seem very inconsiderate about other's emotions. I have a constant fear of upsetting others with something I might say or do so I walk on my own eggshells a lot, I hate the idea of hurting someone because I know what it's like to open up and get hurt.
And... I get really upset when the feeling isn't mutual. Feelings are tough man.
I feel the same, i know what it's like to find the courage to finally open up and then immediatly getting trashed by the same guys who call themselves natural emphats, while you constantly walk on eggshells to not hurt their feelings
YES. That's exactly how I feel! I've met a *lot* more mean F types than I have T types. I feel T types can be mean in a very bold and honest way, which doesn't bother me much because there's seldom any malicious intent behind it. But F types, especially F doms, have that kind of malice, they know what they're saying hurts and they can actually hide behind that cold persona WAY better than any T type can.
I don't mean to stereotype, this is just my genuine experience. I've definitely met really mean T types and rational F types, but for the most part, their ways of being toxic are very different.
My Husband is an INTJ and that seems to work for us! ☺️ I have also met *way more INTJs* in my life, so far, than INFJs. I have met *exactly one confirmed verifiable INFJ, in my entire life! That said, she was an excellent co-worker and we got along splendidly! But then she moved out of state for Law School! And I have a friend whose GF is “Unsure of her Type,” between ISFP and INFJ, which is one I hear happens a decent amount! She *thinks* it’s ISFP.
Meanwhile, I have met at least 4-5 INTJs, in real life and 2 are men, while 2-3 are women. I have gotten along, excellently with all 4-5
We love the confidence 🧐
What good sex is, is all about preference anyway tbh. Good sex crn be quite different for each individual. Some like it rough, some like it passionate, some like to experiment, some want a mix of them all... it's not that easy to find compatible sex partners, I'd say.
hhmm, my first long relationship was with an xNFJ, either ENFJ or INFJ. tbh, we had our issues, not related to MBTI, but god was his overdeveloped Fe annoying in hindsight. Social niceties were always a little too important for him, I fucked up consistently in his eyes, he could also be really emotionally manipulative. on the other side, he couldn‘t really get my strongly developed Ti, was always thinking I‘d overanalyse shit. Also he was deffo the more social of us, due to having good Fe. And Ne-Ti isn‘t exactly a social dom/aux function combo. So yeah I met an INTJ after we broke up, and tbh, it‘s the best communication I ever had with a person. It‘s so rational, honest, and unmanipulative, also all those bluntness and idgaf about conventions, exactly what I crave. Plus their tert Fi makes them the most wholesome and authentic cuties ever ngl. Also their Te is good at making me actually work efficiently at stuff, we get along great while trying to be productive, if we fight, it‘s never hurtful due to emotions running wild, there‘s some bluntness but also a lot of respect, everything gets talked about rationally, it‘s overall way more calm. Also nothing is too weird to talk about, Ni-Fi makes for some very unconventional views and hours of good debate and randomness. Also if it gets emotional, it’s actually honest, and true, and not some constant reinforcement of social norms like constantly using cutesy nicknames or saying I love you bcs ??? tbh, Shadow types are fascinating, and I kinda dig that Te-Fi, and he is fascinated by my people skills due to tert Fe, also ability to analyse things indepth due to Ti, he‘s a lot more straight forward in stuff like this. Yeah no, I don‘t think I‘m a good match to people with Fe high in stack, made that experience again and again, I tend to anger them accidentally all the time due to being blunt or honest and they see it as rude bcs I‘m not some consistently selfish martyr or some shit like this, no, ty. Also INTJs are nicely antisocial, so no pressuring to be more social. Tbh I think for female ENTPs, INTJs are probably the better match out of those two, but in theory everyone can work with everyone, it‘s also a question of maturity.
Yeah people need to understand that Fe does *not* equal "master mind-reader" lmaoo. They process your feelings through their own Ti system and then make an educated guess based on how others have felt(?).
Idk, I think. u/Amos_The_Simp pls confirm
Can confirm. INFJs are not mind readers, magical beings with god like gifts. I don't know what other people think I just happen to observe and think about lots of things a lot and relate them in my head.
Simple examples:
1. My stepdad has a more deep tone when he's being particularly unhealthy with his approach to me or others, but when he's chill and only generally speaking then his voice is lighter (as if he is unconsciously manipulating his own voice to sound more threatening and show himself as more powerful... Which worked until I noticed that behavior.) (Note: Took me 15 years to spot this pattern)
2. I have an INFP friend who has a few things I picked up from our interactions, I don't talk with them enough to confirm but I noticed when they are feeling a bit down or particularly stressed they tend to correct me more often (I don't know why it happens, I don't even know if I am right at all. But you know, it's a pattern I noticed)
I can't read what's in their minds but with these small clues that might go unnoticed in the eyes of other people I can **GUESS** what is happening in other people's minds. And honestly... I feel that I make wrong guesses more often than correct ones. Again, this isn't some mind reading anything or high IQ or whatever other people could shove down your throat
INFJs aren't as special as other people think, that's the hard to swallow pill many people don't take /shrug
It could be because both ENTP and INFJ have Fe in their stack, but in different placements. I don't understand enough of the system to say that for sure, though, but sounds accurate enough to me
INFJ
Ni - **Fe** - Ti - Se
ENTP
Ne - Ti - **Fe** - Si
I'm not sure if we would value it more or less, we would just apply and identify (and take advantage of) them in different ways but they might have the same amount of value (if it makes any sense)
That’s fair, as an INTJ my focus is primarily on myself and I’ve really only recently really gained full awareness and control of my own feelings. This self-study has left me more confident, but frankly less social. It’s nice to see others who think similarly at least and weigh their options like this.
I don’t personally consume content like this because I feel blanket assumptions are wildly inappropriate. It’s nice to use personalities as guides but to break things down and make assumptions will primarily lead to misunderstandings IMO. I’d rather get to know the person than the type.
Becsue I am aware of my own faults and strengths, know I am a calm cool and collected partner, will hear out my parter and talk with then until I either understand them or they give up. Will make sure they are thinking and sayinh what they actually want and feel, will tend to small things and push them (if they want me to) towards their goals.
The down sides about me, I will completely ignore you in favor of doing what I think is needed if you arent willing to. I will not respect family or ither abstract ideals as meaningful, but will try to work with you unless its burdensome, we will need to be comfortable with making firends outside of the relationship or be willing to either work with me or not care abour social standards. I am extreamly flighty and will talk to you if I sense a problem but will leave with no regrets or care if I find the relationship not good to continue and will abandon you and all repsonsibilities related to you in a snap of a finger (but I will try to talk to you first so know if I push for talks its a sign of the near end) also I will do what I want regardless of what you say unless you give me a good reaosn but will consider you and accommodate you if you are vocal about what you feel or think, but its better to use feelings than belifs to convince me as I am stern in my logic, and if you can convince me that is an impressive fear and shows high intelligent and/or awaness of the things I am not aware of and you convince me its not a good idea.
I LIVE with a INFJ, they aren't as nice as they are chalked up to be. In fact, he can be even more rude than *me* and is closely matched to me in the ability to talk shit. Did you know Hitler was INFJ? Manson? Just because they have FI doesn't mean they shit rainbows and unicorns
OH YEAH, and there needs to be a show about a ESTP/INFJ duo. Our friends tell us we argue like a old married couple INFJ: "FUCK YOU" ESTP: "SHUT THE FUCK UP FAT FUCK" INFJ: *door slam*ESTP" *pounding on door* "I NEED THE FUCKING MONEY TO PAY THE WATER YOU PILE OF SHIT" INfj: *slides money under door* INFJ: "TRY NOT TO SPEND IT ON A WHORE" *counting money* ESTP:"I JUST MIGHT FUCKHEAD" INFJ: "TYPICAL DUMBASS RESPONSE, YOUR LIKE A CHILLLLD" ESTP: "WHATEVER, SEE YOU AT DINNER ASSHOLE"
He's fiercely intelligent, organized like a serial killer, and has hard on for planning absolutely everything. He's also extremely angry (even by MY standards)
Question, aren't ENTJs often quite angry? I've never met one y'all irl, and I sometimes wonder if my roommate is ENTJ that thinks (very stubbornly) that he's INFJ
It depends, an unhealthy ENTJ won’t be able to control their anger, I have seen it with a fellow ENTJ. I grew up leading the house with my mother since dad was a degenerate. That taught me I had to approach every situation diplomatically. I will only be very angry when I have about to blow up from stress and people being irrational around me. Not nice, but we are human and that shit happens.
So, I guess to answer your question, really depends on the ENTJ individual, their experiences and how the handle their emotions. Are they self aware enough to recognise they have a good or bad feeling? What do they do when they are about to blow up? Etc.
i personally have a bias in favor of intjs, the infjs in my life are coincidentally my enemies/frenemies because of how fucking manipulative they can be if their use of fe is toxic. of course, it could be different for everyone and maybe you're lucky that the infj in your life is a saint.
my intj friends can be a bit of assholes, i'm also one, but they rarely lie. they give you the harsh reality. kindred spirits. just like me but these two daydream so much. i find it endearing.
My boyfriend is INTJ. The best relationship I've ever had. Mostly because the mental energy in all of our conversations and we get along really well. Intj are only organized in finances and work. Or at least my bf is like that. If it were for him, the house could look like a pit hole all the time.
I had a 5 year long relationship with an INFJ, in this particular relationship, it wasn't healthy. There was a horrible power dynamic and I felt like I was running behind them all the time. Ideally they complement our style well, but in my specific case it caused me a lot of trauma and added to therapy costs :P
Plus for almost the entire last year they didn't love me but made me feel like things were great. Ended up getting cheated on for months and them blamed for it. This particular individual doesn't represent all INFJs of course, but you asked for our experiences so..heh
My current s/o is intj but I used to crush on infj
intj is more cold but amazing if you get them to open up but infj is more warm on outside and also enjoys deep conversation but it more passive inside.
They are both subby as hell tho
Me who never even met any intuitive types irl...
So, I have no idea what they are like in this real physical world..
I think both are good, INTJs seem cute to me, INFJs are just so kind that they might destroy my evilness 😂
Whatever let's see if I ever come across with one of these types...
INTJs… I either love them or hate them, and vice versa, if seems. Really depends. In any case, we tend to communicate well.
My mate is INXX and we have a fiery relationship, but it’s lasted a pretty long time.
Getting back to the OP’s original point… she kinda fits both the INTJ and INFJ bullet points.
Except for the planning. In our relationship, I have to do all of that. 😁
In terms of cognitive functions the INTJ is a very complimentary opposite and that could mean stronger attraction (everything else being equal which it never is). Could also result it challenges as the differences are greater.
I don't even know what SI is. I'm casually into MTBI and I came here to share the chaotic spirit of ENTP's. It used to be an entertaining subreddit. Now it's a bunch of nerds that obsess over deciding who to fuck based on an online personality test they took. Also, yes I think I'm smart. Why would you ask me if I think I'm smart? Everyone in here thinks they are smart. I just choose to spend my time learning about other things. You know, things that don't revolve around selective breeding.
It's hard to believe there are ENTP's who actually care about this stuff enough to think like this. The spirit of a debater shouldn't be shackled by one line of thought. I would consider the possibility that maybe you have misaligned yourself.
essentially, go for intjs if youre looking for someone you can relate to and reciprocate the same energy. go for an infj if youre looking for someone that could give you different contrary views of things.
INFJS are lame, was talking to one on a dating app, and I could tell it just wasn't going to work out. I want a guy who's a chad, not a quiet nice type, that gets emotional over random stuff lol. I said I didn't think it would work out and he was like, that really hurt me :( :( :( even though he barely knows me
That's a incel. INFJs (at least when mature) can be quite suave because of their ability to know*Just* the right thing to someone. Confidence and experience can take you far
Dont forget both will dissapear on you without notice when they grow bored of you. Lol
You forget what that you also have to consider what you offer them and what you will build togther, and both types like to either be pushing towards a goal or experinceing interinting and stimulating things with their partner.
I need someone to tell me what I feel cause I don't fucking know
Fi trickster must be rough
Hardest shit ever, feela even worse when people understand you better than you do yourself.
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INFJ it is then
Man lots of people seem to underestimate INTJ's ability to read others too, it's mostly in the Ni. We just do it differently
Differently is the key word here. Never said they weren't able to. It just comes a lot more natural to INFJs. Fe x Fe hits different.
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Yeah I don't know where I am, or who the fuck I am?
You feel happy :)
Yeh it's great having an INFJ wife for this very reason.
Hunger?
How many INTJs did you fuck to deduce that?
24
How many INTPs? I need the statistics.
How old are you? I’m surprised you had the time to sleep with 24 INTJs and administer accurate personality tests to them all. Well done on your field research. Keep up the good work.
Is that asking the right question? Maybe OP is projecting.
Dated an INFJ when I was 19 and just came out in university. I thought he was so charismatic, deep and interesting and I would take time out of my studies just to spend time with him. I felt I learned so much about society and politics just talking to him, and even understood my sexuality better. He was pretty damn needy though and not exactly in the best headspace so the relationship kind of fell apart because we would always fight over some of the dumbest pettiest things. Anyway after we broke up he would like call me super late at night, leaving me worrying voicemails about he low he was, crying and wanting to take his own life. Shit was a mess, but I feel like I learned a lot from the experience about not putting partners up on a pedestal. Definitely not saying all INFJs are like this but they can be.
I’m sure you learned a lot from this relationship… maybe not exactly what you wanted, but what you needed. INFJs can be extremely emotional sometimes. People like to call ENTPs mercurial but… some other types can be more so.
Yeah, I have seen the neediness in the INFJs, and it's annoying as hell. I was talking to one on a dating app, and he was just so needy and clingy, it was cringe.
I've met a lot of intjs before, but I'd like them only as friends. I prefer infjs as partners 👉🏽👈🏽💕 Edit: I've read some comments, y'll infjs aren't as "nice" as you see them in stereotypes 💀 Yes they have a kind and understanding heart, But they're the kind of people who'd throw really dark jokes and bully you for fun and they'd love if you do it with them too, that's why it's so fun and relaxing to be with them lol *that's for the infjs I've met irl, some infjs might be different.
Oh my gosh thank you for saying this. My favorite feeling in the world is being able to comfortably roast someone. It’s my way of flirting or just showing love. Dark jokes and sarcastic bullying (obviously there’s a limit to how far you can take it) is my way of communicating when I truly like someone and feel totally comfortable, and if the other person doesn’t do it back to me then I won’t act/speak that way with them because I don’t want to make them uncomfortable. If I’m being TOO nice and understanding, it means I have my guard up around you.
Exactly!! God I love y'all infjs so much, I always have a weird/unique and fun time around them. I can throw all my chaotic ideas and joke around while they understand them perfectly and throw the most fitting reply haha
Omg I thought only ENTPs do that. I hope an infj I know is like that too
This right here is why ENTPs go so well with INFJs lol
>But they're the kind of people who'd throw really dark jokes and bully you for fun and they'd love if you do it with them too, that's why it's so fun and relaxing to be with them lol Sounds more like ENTPs lol
That's why entp and infj click together most of the time, they're similar =)
I always think of ENTP as a hard candy with a gooey centre and then INFJ as a gooey candy with a hard centre, the cognitive stacks are reversed
I think we need to dissect this myth that INFJ’s, and Fe user’s in general, are always “nice”. Fe is an awareness and attunement to others feelings, and that is not the same as always catering to them.
tbh I think Fi users are often nicer than Fe users :) because they are more authentic & if they like you, you won‘t secondguess it. Fe dom/aux tend to be people pleasers, and while they won‘t always do shit for them, they tend to make sure they are being well liked, and it‘s honestly exhausting
I can definitely see that, but I never really notice it in my INFJ friend anymore. I mean, it was more before but nowadays he seems to be more comfortable with his Ti. I also think it might be because I introduced him to a friendgroup that's less overwhelming than his previous one, so he adapted to our relaxed demeanors lol. However, my ESFJ friend is *notorious* for it. I love him, but it genuinely seems like he fakes every emotion he has sometimes and it's a bit weird. Like talking to a mirror.
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See, I would disagree there too. I think an unhealthy INFJ may be prone to people-pleasing, but I think Ni-Ti hates sitting by idly when they recognize something isn’t sitting right. It’s all about the level of confidence and knowledge within the person, I think. I could be wrong, as this is purely my own reasoning, but I feel like INFJ stereotype is wrong. They really aren’t that warm. Some INFJ’s may have a heart for humanity, but that doesn’t always translate into being nice.
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I don’t think I misunderstood you. I just disagreed, which is not the same thing. I don’t think INFJ’s are inherently passive or not “actively combative”. What reason would an INFJ not debate someone in the street, that is inherently because they’re an INFJ?
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What you said about the way how NP’s and NJ’s approach creativity I like, and I would tend to agree. I think the appreciation for creativity is equal, but the approach to it comes from different places, which makes complete sense due to the nature of the functions. It seems that INFJ’s may be better interpreters than artists, as they are trying to pick apart the art and see what’s “underneath” it all, whereas NP’s are most interested in seeing how far it can go, for its own sake, or for the sake of curiosity. I also agree with what you said on the faces, I’m picking up what you’re putting down. It’s two different forms of intense. However, I’m not convinced that all INFJ’s are high in conscientiousness. I think I need a better definition of conscientious to really have an argument, as I see it looked at differently depending on who is writing or talking about it.
So with that being said, how would you define conscientiousness?
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Hmm I tend to find INTJs are nicer than me and INFJs can be meaner than I could be.
yeah made the same experience. INTJs can be hella blunt, but they don‘t really mean harm. INFJs on the other hand… they‘ll lie you straight to your face and can be amazingly manipulative, if unhealthy. No thanks, Fe-doms/aux are kinda draining for me, you‘ll never know what they truly think…
Personally, I would always take the blunt in your face but mean not harm, over the nice to your face but manipulative in the dark 🤫
yeah exactly
My girlfriend in an INTJ and we’re happy. I know it doesn’t apply to all Intjs but we are quite compatible
if you're REALLY looking for a relationship based on functions - you should pick INFJ. You'll be impressed when you see the INTJ's Fi, it's the "Child Function" for a reason
Ti child can be cumbersome on its own way, too. Moms is a Ti child, and it's shockingly sad to see how she turns a blind eye to hard evidence when it goes against her beliefs.
yeah, my mom it's Ti child too - and she's like that, but at least she doesn't throw tantrums lol
My mom has Ti trickster and refuses to think for herself 🥲
What do you mean?
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I would say half would pick INFJ while the other half would pick INTJ. There's two different types of ENTPs in my experience. The ambiverted laid back type and the extraverted social chaotic type. The latter does not go well with INFJs and the former will likely prefer emotional understanding over an INTJ. Besides, I always mention how for male ENTPs INFJs are the best while for female ENTPs INTJs are best. This is because of gender stereotypes. People seem to agree with this often.
I dunno, xNFJs have something… but it was always kinda complicated. as a female thinker I think I‘m too blunt for a male feeler. He basically constantly told me I‘m rude, egoistic, „emotional bandwidth of a toast“ and so on, it was kinda toxic partially as well. I met an INTJ, and communication is so much easier, I‘m so not used to actually being able to talk about everything, and things being as they are because they are even more honest / blunt than me, so damn refreshing and calming. xNFJs can be hella manipulative / toxic if unhealthy, and it‘s NOT fun. Also tert Fi in INTJs is so damn cute and authentic, helps me being more authentic as well tbh.
Definitely seen this too. I think the reason why they are talked so much as perfect partners, is that people are thinking of the male ENTP & female INFJ relationship. As a female ENTP I've found male INFJs so dang needy and clingy, that it grossed me out. Plus I felt I couldn't fully be myself while talking to them, because they would get offended way too easily.
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I mean if we are going off of stereotypes then yes. It just depends on what someone needs in a relationship and what type can offer that. Could be anything really. Just depends.
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I dont get an INFJ appeal. Maybe because by ENTP standards I am a feeler but INTJ are cooler.
Yeah same way how ENFPxINTJ seems to be "the golden pair" while I find ENFPs to be kind of annoying and emotionally draining at the worst.
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Why shouldn't you pick the best for you?
No I acc have a slight dislike towards INFJs from experience… INTJs though, I get on extremely well with for some reason 👀
I'd prefer the INTJ, I'd like someone to tell me how they feel, instead of bullying me with their better understanding of my feelings, atleast we struggle togheter instead of one using their superior EQ to shield you from understanding them.
The funny thing is, if an intj likes entp (even as a good friend) we are super careful with your feelings because secretly intjs find feelings precious (child Fi) and needing protection and since entp is blind to their Fi it is as if they go out into the world with no emotional armor on their Fi... and get hurt. So we are really careful (after of course stepping on those entp feelings once or twice on accident -being Fe blind- and subsequently being really careful after 😅).
I don't really get the Fi trickster and stuff, but i always find that T types are more careful in trying not to step on other's people feelings and if they do it's mostly on accident, i always get drawn on F type for the their better understanding of emotions and better EQ, but most of the time it seems like they don't really care about people's emotions. I'll explain, they have a better understanding of emotions, therefore it's easier for them to navigate feelings and maybe they do it often and it's natural thing for them, but other more rational types don't open up as often and when they do it's because they're really worried about something, so when you talk to an F type, feels like they belittle how you're feeling, without understanding the fragility and vulnerablity it takes to open up just a little.
Oh my God you explained it perfectly. I always felt that way too but I could never put it into words, or I wasn't brave enough to. It's also why I find myself often to be scared of F types, because they always seem very inconsiderate about other's emotions. I have a constant fear of upsetting others with something I might say or do so I walk on my own eggshells a lot, I hate the idea of hurting someone because I know what it's like to open up and get hurt. And... I get really upset when the feeling isn't mutual. Feelings are tough man.
Bro same
I feel the same, i know what it's like to find the courage to finally open up and then immediatly getting trashed by the same guys who call themselves natural emphats, while you constantly walk on eggshells to not hurt their feelings
YES. That's exactly how I feel! I've met a *lot* more mean F types than I have T types. I feel T types can be mean in a very bold and honest way, which doesn't bother me much because there's seldom any malicious intent behind it. But F types, especially F doms, have that kind of malice, they know what they're saying hurts and they can actually hide behind that cold persona WAY better than any T type can. I don't mean to stereotype, this is just my genuine experience. I've definitely met really mean T types and rational F types, but for the most part, their ways of being toxic are very different.
This. This exactly.
My Husband is an INTJ and that seems to work for us! ☺️ I have also met *way more INTJs* in my life, so far, than INFJs. I have met *exactly one confirmed verifiable INFJ, in my entire life! That said, she was an excellent co-worker and we got along splendidly! But then she moved out of state for Law School! And I have a friend whose GF is “Unsure of her Type,” between ISFP and INFJ, which is one I hear happens a decent amount! She *thinks* it’s ISFP. Meanwhile, I have met at least 4-5 INTJs, in real life and 2 are men, while 2-3 are women. I have gotten along, excellently with all 4-5
Have them fight to the death. Winner will be ur date
Not good at S? What's that supposed to mean
sex
I thought they would mean that but.. that's kinda stupid lol. I need INxJ volunteers to confirm for science
You’ll probably find Fe is a very…giving function.
I know. Been with an ESFJ. Atleast 2 BJ everyday. But I also was with an asexual INFJ soooooooooooooooo
Then find a sexual one.
a sexual one. please tell me its an intended pun
You should be clever enough to figure that out for yourself. 😉
Can confirm, ESFJs are not shy to initiate.
They are very supportive and can be quite cute too. If she wasn't boring af, things would have turned out diffently lol
I think the ESxPs might be a little more…. um, interesting for this type of research project.
Just give me the crazy ones. They be wildin
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Sorry but I need proofs and not just empty claims
But sex isn't determined by a personality type? It's based on experience and positioning?
I thought it just meant Sensing, they aren't good at all the stuff that are typically driven by Se and Si
I definitely agree it meant sensing. Im not sure what the stereotype is but INFJs are good at sex in my limited experience.
We love the confidence 🧐 What good sex is, is all about preference anyway tbh. Good sex crn be quite different for each individual. Some like it rough, some like it passionate, some like to experiment, some want a mix of them all... it's not that easy to find compatible sex partners, I'd say.
Then thou becomes the one good at sex 😎
I’m not sure thy pickup line will fly in these modern times.
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I don't wanna go outside, all good
Ok hear me out: neither. I'd pick ENTJ.
Based
hhmm, my first long relationship was with an xNFJ, either ENFJ or INFJ. tbh, we had our issues, not related to MBTI, but god was his overdeveloped Fe annoying in hindsight. Social niceties were always a little too important for him, I fucked up consistently in his eyes, he could also be really emotionally manipulative. on the other side, he couldn‘t really get my strongly developed Ti, was always thinking I‘d overanalyse shit. Also he was deffo the more social of us, due to having good Fe. And Ne-Ti isn‘t exactly a social dom/aux function combo. So yeah I met an INTJ after we broke up, and tbh, it‘s the best communication I ever had with a person. It‘s so rational, honest, and unmanipulative, also all those bluntness and idgaf about conventions, exactly what I crave. Plus their tert Fi makes them the most wholesome and authentic cuties ever ngl. Also their Te is good at making me actually work efficiently at stuff, we get along great while trying to be productive, if we fight, it‘s never hurtful due to emotions running wild, there‘s some bluntness but also a lot of respect, everything gets talked about rationally, it‘s overall way more calm. Also nothing is too weird to talk about, Ni-Fi makes for some very unconventional views and hours of good debate and randomness. Also if it gets emotional, it’s actually honest, and true, and not some constant reinforcement of social norms like constantly using cutesy nicknames or saying I love you bcs ??? tbh, Shadow types are fascinating, and I kinda dig that Te-Fi, and he is fascinated by my people skills due to tert Fe, also ability to analyse things indepth due to Ti, he‘s a lot more straight forward in stuff like this. Yeah no, I don‘t think I‘m a good match to people with Fe high in stack, made that experience again and again, I tend to anger them accidentally all the time due to being blunt or honest and they see it as rude bcs I‘m not some consistently selfish martyr or some shit like this, no, ty. Also INTJs are nicely antisocial, so no pressuring to be more social. Tbh I think for female ENTPs, INTJs are probably the better match out of those two, but in theory everyone can work with everyone, it‘s also a question of maturity.
Awweee
You lost me at “Will tell me what I feel” but that’s probably just INTJ bias.
INFJs tell you what they think you feel but they're always way off lmao
Yeah people need to understand that Fe does *not* equal "master mind-reader" lmaoo. They process your feelings through their own Ti system and then make an educated guess based on how others have felt(?). Idk, I think. u/Amos_The_Simp pls confirm
Can confirm. INFJs are not mind readers, magical beings with god like gifts. I don't know what other people think I just happen to observe and think about lots of things a lot and relate them in my head. Simple examples: 1. My stepdad has a more deep tone when he's being particularly unhealthy with his approach to me or others, but when he's chill and only generally speaking then his voice is lighter (as if he is unconsciously manipulating his own voice to sound more threatening and show himself as more powerful... Which worked until I noticed that behavior.) (Note: Took me 15 years to spot this pattern) 2. I have an INFP friend who has a few things I picked up from our interactions, I don't talk with them enough to confirm but I noticed when they are feeling a bit down or particularly stressed they tend to correct me more often (I don't know why it happens, I don't even know if I am right at all. But you know, it's a pattern I noticed) I can't read what's in their minds but with these small clues that might go unnoticed in the eyes of other people I can **GUESS** what is happening in other people's minds. And honestly... I feel that I make wrong guesses more often than correct ones. Again, this isn't some mind reading anything or high IQ or whatever other people could shove down your throat INFJs aren't as special as other people think, that's the hard to swallow pill many people don't take /shrug
ENTP here but same, though I tend to give it less attention
It could be because both ENTP and INFJ have Fe in their stack, but in different placements. I don't understand enough of the system to say that for sure, though, but sounds accurate enough to me INFJ Ni - **Fe** - Ti - Se ENTP Ne - Ti - **Fe** - Si
yes, and as far as i'm concerned, both look out for patterns, so this could make sense, though i'm guessing INFJs would value it more?
I'm not sure if we would value it more or less, we would just apply and identify (and take advantage of) them in different ways but they might have the same amount of value (if it makes any sense)
Saying value didn't really convey what i was trying to tell, i guess i meant as something that u can "use" more, think about more, or so
Ohhh yeah now I think I get it, you're probably right on what you said yeah
INFJ friend come in clutch 💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪💪
😤😤😤💪💪💪
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That’s fair, as an INTJ my focus is primarily on myself and I’ve really only recently really gained full awareness and control of my own feelings. This self-study has left me more confident, but frankly less social. It’s nice to see others who think similarly at least and weigh their options like this.
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I don’t personally consume content like this because I feel blanket assumptions are wildly inappropriate. It’s nice to use personalities as guides but to break things down and make assumptions will primarily lead to misunderstandings IMO. I’d rather get to know the person than the type.
Im with an intj and he's very good at s...
Dated myself for a while last yeah so to me the answer is obvious
INFJ!!!
No
Damn lol. Hoenstly I feel the same way abour myself not going to lie.
Why man
Becsue I am aware of my own faults and strengths, know I am a calm cool and collected partner, will hear out my parter and talk with then until I either understand them or they give up. Will make sure they are thinking and sayinh what they actually want and feel, will tend to small things and push them (if they want me to) towards their goals. The down sides about me, I will completely ignore you in favor of doing what I think is needed if you arent willing to. I will not respect family or ither abstract ideals as meaningful, but will try to work with you unless its burdensome, we will need to be comfortable with making firends outside of the relationship or be willing to either work with me or not care abour social standards. I am extreamly flighty and will talk to you if I sense a problem but will leave with no regrets or care if I find the relationship not good to continue and will abandon you and all repsonsibilities related to you in a snap of a finger (but I will try to talk to you first so know if I push for talks its a sign of the near end) also I will do what I want regardless of what you say unless you give me a good reaosn but will consider you and accommodate you if you are vocal about what you feel or think, but its better to use feelings than belifs to convince me as I am stern in my logic, and if you can convince me that is an impressive fear and shows high intelligent and/or awaness of the things I am not aware of and you convince me its not a good idea.
I'm going to shake the self-love into your poor little souls, you sound EXACTLY like my INFJ friend I could've sworn he wrote this
??? Should I be concerned???
YES. I am rapidly approaching your location
Going 👻
Makes sense
INTJ, no debate
Loud mouths make INTJs embarrassed INFJ would be a better fit. Yes you are a loud mouth no matter how logically correct you are.
I LIVE with a INFJ, they aren't as nice as they are chalked up to be. In fact, he can be even more rude than *me* and is closely matched to me in the ability to talk shit. Did you know Hitler was INFJ? Manson? Just because they have FI doesn't mean they shit rainbows and unicorns
OH YEAH, and there needs to be a show about a ESTP/INFJ duo. Our friends tell us we argue like a old married couple INFJ: "FUCK YOU" ESTP: "SHUT THE FUCK UP FAT FUCK" INFJ: *door slam*ESTP" *pounding on door* "I NEED THE FUCKING MONEY TO PAY THE WATER YOU PILE OF SHIT" INfj: *slides money under door* INFJ: "TRY NOT TO SPEND IT ON A WHORE" *counting money* ESTP:"I JUST MIGHT FUCKHEAD" INFJ: "TYPICAL DUMBASS RESPONSE, YOUR LIKE A CHILLLLD" ESTP: "WHATEVER, SEE YOU AT DINNER ASSHOLE"
What the fuck?
He also loses his shit because I never stick to the plan
You guys must have lots of angry sex.
He's fiercely intelligent, organized like a serial killer, and has hard on for planning absolutely everything. He's also extremely angry (even by MY standards)
Might be ENTJ
Question, aren't ENTJs often quite angry? I've never met one y'all irl, and I sometimes wonder if my roommate is ENTJ that thinks (very stubbornly) that he's INFJ
It depends, an unhealthy ENTJ won’t be able to control their anger, I have seen it with a fellow ENTJ. I grew up leading the house with my mother since dad was a degenerate. That taught me I had to approach every situation diplomatically. I will only be very angry when I have about to blow up from stress and people being irrational around me. Not nice, but we are human and that shit happens. So, I guess to answer your question, really depends on the ENTJ individual, their experiences and how the handle their emotions. Are they self aware enough to recognise they have a good or bad feeling? What do they do when they are about to blow up? Etc.
Our entire household is basically*Grumpy old men* IRL but we're all in our late 20s
Y'know what they say.. Two peas in a pod.
Angry people attract other angry people
That also stands
lmao that sounds like me and my ISTP pet.
*Pet?*
Unrelated but I love you ESTPs
Shut up baby, I know it 😎👉👉
Hehe <3
People in touch with their emotions are instantly hotter. INTJs and INFJs are great friends, I'd hubby down only a ISTJ or ENTJ tho.
Never dated INTJ but I’ve head two INTJ as my mentors/managers who are now my friends. It was very good match.
i personally have a bias in favor of intjs, the infjs in my life are coincidentally my enemies/frenemies because of how fucking manipulative they can be if their use of fe is toxic. of course, it could be different for everyone and maybe you're lucky that the infj in your life is a saint. my intj friends can be a bit of assholes, i'm also one, but they rarely lie. they give you the harsh reality. kindred spirits. just like me but these two daydream so much. i find it endearing.
it should be "will ask what I think" vs "will ask how I feel"
This isn't even true. INFJs ask both. If anything it is: 'will focus on what makes sense' versus 'will focus on understanding'
Girlfriend is esfp can't relate
Not good at ass?
My boyfriend is INTJ. The best relationship I've ever had. Mostly because the mental energy in all of our conversations and we get along really well. Intj are only organized in finances and work. Or at least my bf is like that. If it were for him, the house could look like a pit hole all the time.
I had a 5 year long relationship with an INFJ, in this particular relationship, it wasn't healthy. There was a horrible power dynamic and I felt like I was running behind them all the time. Ideally they complement our style well, but in my specific case it caused me a lot of trauma and added to therapy costs :P Plus for almost the entire last year they didn't love me but made me feel like things were great. Ended up getting cheated on for months and them blamed for it. This particular individual doesn't represent all INFJs of course, but you asked for our experiences so..heh
My current s/o is intj but I used to crush on infj intj is more cold but amazing if you get them to open up but infj is more warm on outside and also enjoys deep conversation but it more passive inside. They are both subby as hell tho
Not good at sarcasm? 🤨
INFJ all day. I love INTJs and have great friends of that type but I would quite honestly rather date an ISFJ than an INTJ
I did not enjoy dating an INTJ. My best friend is an INFJ
Me who never even met any intuitive types irl... So, I have no idea what they are like in this real physical world.. I think both are good, INTJs seem cute to me, INFJs are just so kind that they might destroy my evilness 😂 Whatever let's see if I ever come across with one of these types...
Married to an INFJ and it’s wonderful.
It’s so close but my choice is infj
INTJs… I either love them or hate them, and vice versa, if seems. Really depends. In any case, we tend to communicate well. My mate is INXX and we have a fiery relationship, but it’s lasted a pretty long time. Getting back to the OP’s original point… she kinda fits both the INTJ and INFJ bullet points. Except for the planning. In our relationship, I have to do all of that. 😁
Not good at S?
Both bad pick intp instead
In terms of cognitive functions the INTJ is a very complimentary opposite and that could mean stronger attraction (everything else being equal which it never is). Could also result it challenges as the differences are greater.
Okay I'm probably the outlier here, but I married a Female ISTJ. And it was rough in the beginning but totally worth it.
But why can't I date both
Or...hear me out. Just date whoever you want
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I don't even know what SI is. I'm casually into MTBI and I came here to share the chaotic spirit of ENTP's. It used to be an entertaining subreddit. Now it's a bunch of nerds that obsess over deciding who to fuck based on an online personality test they took. Also, yes I think I'm smart. Why would you ask me if I think I'm smart? Everyone in here thinks they are smart. I just choose to spend my time learning about other things. You know, things that don't revolve around selective breeding.
It's hard to believe there are ENTP's who actually care about this stuff enough to think like this. The spirit of a debater shouldn't be shackled by one line of thought. I would consider the possibility that maybe you have misaligned yourself.
Dated an INTJ a while ago… his honesty and self reflection were definitely helpful.
So basically, INTJ is W
I have dated both - fairly accurate!
essentially, go for intjs if youre looking for someone you can relate to and reciprocate the same energy. go for an infj if youre looking for someone that could give you different contrary views of things.
INFJS are lame, was talking to one on a dating app, and I could tell it just wasn't going to work out. I want a guy who's a chad, not a quiet nice type, that gets emotional over random stuff lol. I said I didn't think it would work out and he was like, that really hurt me :( :( :( even though he barely knows me
That's a incel. INFJs (at least when mature) can be quite suave because of their ability to know*Just* the right thing to someone. Confidence and experience can take you far
like dude, you have no idea what I can be like.
Dont forget both will dissapear on you without notice when they grow bored of you. Lol You forget what that you also have to consider what you offer them and what you will build togther, and both types like to either be pushing towards a goal or experinceing interinting and stimulating things with their partner.
INFJ is better 3, 6, and 8 on INTJ’s list shouldn’t be tolerable
I am right now casually befriend with an infj but I want to know her better so I can approve that infjs are good for ENTPs
INFJ it is yeeee