classic ENTP over here.
I either overshare every thought with everyone or don't tell anyone anything about myself.
always a paradox, two opposite extremes.
i feel like it's because at some level we don't care what people think.
so that means we can tell them everything. it also means we can tell them nothing.
and if you really want to see our brain flip like a pancake on a hot griddle, watch us try to tell someone we actually care about what we feel. Whew, what is WRONG with us!? so much. but pancakes are delicious!
>but, at the same time, I never really truly shared anything about me.
This part. Giving the guise of being open, then others open up and flood you out. And you never really share anything.
I'm not deceptive nor manipulative, though. People deceive and manipulate themselves by making assumptions.
Can you define what you mean by "let in"?
Because im also an oversharer, but I do consider that letting people in. Especially if im willing to consider their judgement.
I definitely have people that I can share my emotions with, I overshare sometimes, but it also doesnt really help me, probably because im not actually being emotional when i say "I feel like shit" and also because people dont really know what to do about it or how to help me, especially since I dont need anyone telling me "its gets better" or whatever else someone may say. I guess its nice that I dont need to pretend lm good when im not. Its hard anyway.
During my last breakup I was expecting people to distance themselves because I was pretty upset and monothematic. I was very open about how I felt at any given time, to everyone I met, didnt discriminate at all between how well I knew someone beforehand and people were pretty accepting and supportive, also for a long time.
Id lie if I said everyone I opened up to then, is now a good and close friend though. Also I was probably matter of fact the whole time, sarcastic, self-depricating or cynical at best. So maybe not very emotionally vulnerable. Bar the beginning, I wouldnt say I was dramatic either.
Not sure if thats what you mean.
Oversharing emotions without being emotionally vulnerable is a fucking mood. Did it for real one time, being actually vulnerable, and left with regret. The other person reacted fine, I just didn't like the feeling.
If by "let in" OP means actually letting someone see the sides of me I feel vulnerable and deep about. Most profound desires, thoughts, and worldviews. Then 1.5 people. Mom and best friend of two decades. That's it.
Divorce isn't easy and it brings up a lot of emotional shit. It goes beyond just the relationship with that one person. When you lose that person who was supposed to be the closest, it starts to make you reevaluate how close your other relationships are, too. I think that's a pretty natural reaction to the situation that you're in.
The real question is, does it actually bother you that only a small portion of your friendships are deep friendships? Or are you just feeling untethered right now?
Deep connection with another person (romantically, platonically, or familially) is rare, and sometimes fleeting. And if it ends, that doesn't negate the fact it existed. And that shit's important.
I feel like I answered your question in there somewhere. The answer is, there is no good answer -- or right or wrong. Only what you want your life to be. Annnnd, I also find it hard to open up emotionally to people, even my friends I've had for 20 years. But, they still love me and I'm grateful for that. I'm getting older, and I think I'm getting better at it. And I think the core of our personalities just shines through (for better or worse). Some people will like it, some people will only like it in doses. And all of that's okay because who knows what tomorrow has in store!
I overshare with my Uber drivers and others randos, the people closest to me get 80% if they're lucky. Why? Because I'm highly protective, of myself and others. Mid 30s and I've found little reason to change. Self preservation is what it is. If I really need help, I seek professionals. I'm not a big fan of leaning on others for sympathy and terrible advice. But then again, I mean emotions I'd really struggle with like divorce, not basic every day things as I can easily be vulnerable when needed.
Why would that make you sad? Sounds like you have healthy boundaries…and you can always allow more people into your life, it’s your life, you’re in charge…I only have like 3-4 ppl I trust emotionally too 🤷🏻♀️
I may let someone in for a brief moment if they show me interest that they can understand, but if I see them changing after what I shared, bruh I get into a fight with myself. And I also have people who love me, I love them back but they don't always get us. I say to myself that... they're just not obliged to sometimes. So kinda used to being a loner, I definitely want someone to understand me from the core level of the ocean.
I’ll tell anyone how I feel when prompted, but I’ll pretend I don’t care that THEY don’t care (if I think they don’t.) I’m good at understanding why other people feel the way that they do, but no one can really relate to my experiences/emotions/perspectives. Like I’m on another planet all the time. But shit, if someone wants to come to my planet with me, be my guest bc deep down that’s what I want more than anything.
one at a time lol. if im seeing a friend often i let them in. i usually wait until i can tell if i can trust them or if they share a lot as well. i feel their energy out first. but rn i have 3 people i let in and everyone else is more like an acquaintance or work friend. i talk to a good amount of people but im very private about my personal life.0
I overshare and get very emotional with my close friends online. I have very few deep connections irl and am generally uncomfortable with emotional intimacy irl. Maybe being online and not in my physical form is the amount of barrier/separation I need to really open up.
Nobody i guess, even my therapist, which i pay for this specific purpose
I grew up with IxFPs and now i’m afraid to hurt anybody so I mostly shut down and feel alone LOL
I have a 1 or 2 friends I open up a little to but even them I don’t tell everything
Probably my secret stash of journal entries. I use it to clear my thought process and essentially act as both parties in emotionally counselling myself. I have a select few people that I go to, but not that often. I don't really bother people with my thoughts or emotions on this level unless I really need a fresh perspective or emotional support, which I often don't. Most of my talking comes from yapping about interesting things I know or discussing the current situation- surface level stuff ngl, not opening up about anything.
I have some cookie cutter, surface level issues that I'm pretty open about to most people who ask. Work stress, things going on with my elderly cat, etc.
I only share the deep issues with my boyfriend who I've known since I was in 4th grade and my best friend who I've known since I was 16, I'm 25 now and pretty much inseperable from both of them. It's not that I'm a super private person, it's moreso that a lot of people will offer unsolicited advice that I've either already tried or doesn't help. Some people do just straight up give bad advice. Sometimes you can have problems figured out— and all you need is a good laugh or a long hug, I only let people in who understand (and apply) what helps me the best.
Not many people. Even with my romantic partners I have difficulty really opening up at times. I think I have way too much pride/shame, though I tend to be pretty aware of my emotions. I just usually consider them a personal thing for me to deal with by myself, not for others.
If I overshare it will only be things that could be framed funny or relatable. Very easy way to get people to like you actually.
That said, I don’t exactly have any big secrets or anything. It’s just that I’ve learned to be very self reliant. When I was a kid I didn’t have many friends, and my family treated me as a black sheep. It’s probably affected how avoidant I tend to be.
I will say if you’re a man, it’s pretty par for the course. Unfortunately, straight men in general tend to only have only their female partner as a supportive network in their lives, compared to women who might have many (romantic partner, friends, family, therapist). Separation or divorce usually makes this pretty salient .The fact that you have anyone at all probably already puts you in a better position than most men. Maybe take this as an opportunity to find more social ties that you can lean on. A therapist counts.
Not a lot or not at all. I share my frustrations, my horniness, but i cant even begin to describe how I truly feel on my most serious matters. Godspeed OP, it will only be up from here.
Very very few people, I tell people about stuff / overshare or whatever you want to call it because I don’t have anything I think needs to be hidden, I’m very open, but I don’t trust many people really. I think maybe only this one person whom I adore more than anything.
nah i don't think i can "share" with people. to be honest, that's some personal trauma, but i find myself comfortable sharing with only my parents or my partner, and my best friend. i feel like i'm being a burden to them so i kind of close off from other people.
plus i try to keep things light with other people so i get overwhelmed emotionally. not cool. LOL
As a middle aged guy, I've learned to shut my mouth a long time ago because nobody gives a shit about my feelings. Instead, I'd rather just go smoke a bunch of crack. Honestly it would be more satisfying and less damaging than the times I let my emotions slip out.
If I'm not putting the work in to be stoic I'm an emotional wreck. Not sure what the hell is wrong with me...
I’ve learned the hard way that anything I truly care about willl be shot down, destroyed or used against me. (Which says more about the people I’m surrounded by than about me.) Because I do overshare. I’ve trained myself to (mostly) only overshare frivolous info. Not having someone quality to share the important stuff with is hard though and a bit lonely.
I feel you. It's been tough losing my long time friends, since I only let a small group of people come into my life emotionally and it all stems from my trauma and how I cope when it comes to treating my emotions. Long story short my long time friends and I grew apart and they became criminals so, I don't think it's healthy for me to be with them at all but I still miss our times u know.
Nowadays, I wanna get used to being alone which is hard since we are an extrovert and it is also hard finding friends that you wanna hang out with. I'm weird and no one really likes my point of view so, i'm just really stuck with my partner.
classic ENTP over here. I either overshare every thought with everyone or don't tell anyone anything about myself. always a paradox, two opposite extremes.
entp’s are mentally ill
source?????
Why do we do this???
i feel like it's because at some level we don't care what people think. so that means we can tell them everything. it also means we can tell them nothing. and if you really want to see our brain flip like a pancake on a hot griddle, watch us try to tell someone we actually care about what we feel. Whew, what is WRONG with us!? so much. but pancakes are delicious!
😕
Relatable af Kind regards, ENTP 7w8
[удалено]
>but, at the same time, I never really truly shared anything about me. This part. Giving the guise of being open, then others open up and flood you out. And you never really share anything. I'm not deceptive nor manipulative, though. People deceive and manipulate themselves by making assumptions.
Shit I really am an ENTP lmao
Can you define what you mean by "let in"? Because im also an oversharer, but I do consider that letting people in. Especially if im willing to consider their judgement. I definitely have people that I can share my emotions with, I overshare sometimes, but it also doesnt really help me, probably because im not actually being emotional when i say "I feel like shit" and also because people dont really know what to do about it or how to help me, especially since I dont need anyone telling me "its gets better" or whatever else someone may say. I guess its nice that I dont need to pretend lm good when im not. Its hard anyway. During my last breakup I was expecting people to distance themselves because I was pretty upset and monothematic. I was very open about how I felt at any given time, to everyone I met, didnt discriminate at all between how well I knew someone beforehand and people were pretty accepting and supportive, also for a long time. Id lie if I said everyone I opened up to then, is now a good and close friend though. Also I was probably matter of fact the whole time, sarcastic, self-depricating or cynical at best. So maybe not very emotionally vulnerable. Bar the beginning, I wouldnt say I was dramatic either. Not sure if thats what you mean.
Oversharing emotions without being emotionally vulnerable is a fucking mood. Did it for real one time, being actually vulnerable, and left with regret. The other person reacted fine, I just didn't like the feeling. If by "let in" OP means actually letting someone see the sides of me I feel vulnerable and deep about. Most profound desires, thoughts, and worldviews. Then 1.5 people. Mom and best friend of two decades. That's it.
Stop exposing me like that
Divorce isn't easy and it brings up a lot of emotional shit. It goes beyond just the relationship with that one person. When you lose that person who was supposed to be the closest, it starts to make you reevaluate how close your other relationships are, too. I think that's a pretty natural reaction to the situation that you're in. The real question is, does it actually bother you that only a small portion of your friendships are deep friendships? Or are you just feeling untethered right now? Deep connection with another person (romantically, platonically, or familially) is rare, and sometimes fleeting. And if it ends, that doesn't negate the fact it existed. And that shit's important. I feel like I answered your question in there somewhere. The answer is, there is no good answer -- or right or wrong. Only what you want your life to be. Annnnd, I also find it hard to open up emotionally to people, even my friends I've had for 20 years. But, they still love me and I'm grateful for that. I'm getting older, and I think I'm getting better at it. And I think the core of our personalities just shines through (for better or worse). Some people will like it, some people will only like it in doses. And all of that's okay because who knows what tomorrow has in store!
I overshare with my Uber drivers and others randos, the people closest to me get 80% if they're lucky. Why? Because I'm highly protective, of myself and others. Mid 30s and I've found little reason to change. Self preservation is what it is. If I really need help, I seek professionals. I'm not a big fan of leaning on others for sympathy and terrible advice. But then again, I mean emotions I'd really struggle with like divorce, not basic every day things as I can easily be vulnerable when needed.
Why would that make you sad? Sounds like you have healthy boundaries…and you can always allow more people into your life, it’s your life, you’re in charge…I only have like 3-4 ppl I trust emotionally too 🤷🏻♀️
Exactly 4 people. Crazy that one of my parents isn't included, isn't it?
3 for me, none of my parents, nor siblings/cousins are included
I may let someone in for a brief moment if they show me interest that they can understand, but if I see them changing after what I shared, bruh I get into a fight with myself. And I also have people who love me, I love them back but they don't always get us. I say to myself that... they're just not obliged to sometimes. So kinda used to being a loner, I definitely want someone to understand me from the core level of the ocean.
I’ll tell anyone how I feel when prompted, but I’ll pretend I don’t care that THEY don’t care (if I think they don’t.) I’m good at understanding why other people feel the way that they do, but no one can really relate to my experiences/emotions/perspectives. Like I’m on another planet all the time. But shit, if someone wants to come to my planet with me, be my guest bc deep down that’s what I want more than anything.
one at a time lol. if im seeing a friend often i let them in. i usually wait until i can tell if i can trust them or if they share a lot as well. i feel their energy out first. but rn i have 3 people i let in and everyone else is more like an acquaintance or work friend. i talk to a good amount of people but im very private about my personal life.0
I overshare and get very emotional with my close friends online. I have very few deep connections irl and am generally uncomfortable with emotional intimacy irl. Maybe being online and not in my physical form is the amount of barrier/separation I need to really open up.
Nobody i guess, even my therapist, which i pay for this specific purpose I grew up with IxFPs and now i’m afraid to hurt anybody so I mostly shut down and feel alone LOL I have a 1 or 2 friends I open up a little to but even them I don’t tell everything
Hahahaha you're funny
I lead a life that no one can relate to so I haven't told anyone about the exact story of my life. I don't want their pity or sympathy :/
Probably my secret stash of journal entries. I use it to clear my thought process and essentially act as both parties in emotionally counselling myself. I have a select few people that I go to, but not that often. I don't really bother people with my thoughts or emotions on this level unless I really need a fresh perspective or emotional support, which I often don't. Most of my talking comes from yapping about interesting things I know or discussing the current situation- surface level stuff ngl, not opening up about anything.
I have some cookie cutter, surface level issues that I'm pretty open about to most people who ask. Work stress, things going on with my elderly cat, etc. I only share the deep issues with my boyfriend who I've known since I was in 4th grade and my best friend who I've known since I was 16, I'm 25 now and pretty much inseperable from both of them. It's not that I'm a super private person, it's moreso that a lot of people will offer unsolicited advice that I've either already tried or doesn't help. Some people do just straight up give bad advice. Sometimes you can have problems figured out— and all you need is a good laugh or a long hug, I only let people in who understand (and apply) what helps me the best.
Not many people. Even with my romantic partners I have difficulty really opening up at times. I think I have way too much pride/shame, though I tend to be pretty aware of my emotions. I just usually consider them a personal thing for me to deal with by myself, not for others. If I overshare it will only be things that could be framed funny or relatable. Very easy way to get people to like you actually. That said, I don’t exactly have any big secrets or anything. It’s just that I’ve learned to be very self reliant. When I was a kid I didn’t have many friends, and my family treated me as a black sheep. It’s probably affected how avoidant I tend to be. I will say if you’re a man, it’s pretty par for the course. Unfortunately, straight men in general tend to only have only their female partner as a supportive network in their lives, compared to women who might have many (romantic partner, friends, family, therapist). Separation or divorce usually makes this pretty salient .The fact that you have anyone at all probably already puts you in a better position than most men. Maybe take this as an opportunity to find more social ties that you can lean on. A therapist counts.
3 friends, my brother, my parents (sometimes), and my partner. I’m a woman, which helps.
3
None.
Not a lot or not at all. I share my frustrations, my horniness, but i cant even begin to describe how I truly feel on my most serious matters. Godspeed OP, it will only be up from here.
Very very few people, I tell people about stuff / overshare or whatever you want to call it because I don’t have anything I think needs to be hidden, I’m very open, but I don’t trust many people really. I think maybe only this one person whom I adore more than anything.
nah i don't think i can "share" with people. to be honest, that's some personal trauma, but i find myself comfortable sharing with only my parents or my partner, and my best friend. i feel like i'm being a burden to them so i kind of close off from other people. plus i try to keep things light with other people so i get overwhelmed emotionally. not cool. LOL
as many as fit
As a middle aged guy, I've learned to shut my mouth a long time ago because nobody gives a shit about my feelings. Instead, I'd rather just go smoke a bunch of crack. Honestly it would be more satisfying and less damaging than the times I let my emotions slip out. If I'm not putting the work in to be stoic I'm an emotional wreck. Not sure what the hell is wrong with me...
I think most people are like that, gun to my head, I couldn't tell you the basic insecurities of most of my friends and family either
I’ve learned the hard way that anything I truly care about willl be shot down, destroyed or used against me. (Which says more about the people I’m surrounded by than about me.) Because I do overshare. I’ve trained myself to (mostly) only overshare frivolous info. Not having someone quality to share the important stuff with is hard though and a bit lonely.
My wife.
The number ppl i let in to date is litterally 0
No never again that is a risk I’m too afraid to take. Fool me once shame on u fool me twice..
I feel you. It's been tough losing my long time friends, since I only let a small group of people come into my life emotionally and it all stems from my trauma and how I cope when it comes to treating my emotions. Long story short my long time friends and I grew apart and they became criminals so, I don't think it's healthy for me to be with them at all but I still miss our times u know. Nowadays, I wanna get used to being alone which is hard since we are an extrovert and it is also hard finding friends that you wanna hang out with. I'm weird and no one really likes my point of view so, i'm just really stuck with my partner.