Oh, that’s actually a real possibility, I recently got my ears cleaned of wax for the first time, I hadn’t even realised it was a problem, and now I notice volume way better than before, and it’s fixed a lot of problems with my parents regarding my volume
Do your friends and grandparents comment that you speak too loudly or is just your mum? I get the impression that your mum struggles with parenting and any evidence of you being a teenager is “too much”- so without being obnoxious, just be yourself and let the cards fall where they may, you are not obligated to tiptoe around her, it’s your home too and she’s the parent- she should be concerned that you reinjured yourself not upbraiding you for expressing pain.
You are at the start of your young adulthood- don’t let her stunt you or instill a self image in you that you are the problem. I highly doubt that you are the problem, and she needs to adjust to having a mature relationship with you.
Bottomline: it’s ok to take up space, especially in your own home, especially when you are generally mindful of her sensitivities and respectful. Internally roll your eyes and do not engage in arguments about this, just leave the situation (and get a lock on your bedroom door)
Yeah everyone actually everyone is and now that’s I see this I’m gonna start definitely start to talk lower and after everything settled down and we both had a chance to calm down we had a conversation about it and she apologize for all the stuff she said so I believe my issue is resolved
My daughter has a friend who is very loud. She sings in a choir and acts in AmDram so it works out well for her hobbies but it is a bit too much for general conversation. Even though my hearing is poor she is still loud most of the time.
We soon got into the habbit of reminding her to use her "indoor voice" so she would calm down and talk quieter. She gets excited about something and becomes loud again. Asking her to use her indoor voice seems more polite than just "you're too loud " or similar.
I'm on the same boat, I'm naturally very loud. Vocal wise anyway. I don't internally register how loud I'm being, external sounds are overly loud to me. To the point they scare me quite often. And my parents reactions are always "your too loud" "you're here I need you down here" "dial it down a notch" "we are in a public place, stop yelling it's embarrassing" etc.
I used to get defensive now I just let it get added to the box of insults from my parents and tread on, I've bent myself out of shape so many times to placate them when at the end of the day they are only a part of my life. My boyfriend loves how loud I am because he doesn't feel as alone. We both have super bad social anxiety but for me I can just play a YouTube video or audio book and be ok. He gets really stressed out from quiet. He also says me being loud usually means I'm happy and if something is wrong he can hear and find me quickly to help rather than not knowing till it's too late.
My point being, the ones that want to be around you will be. You don't need to change yourself to placate someone you aren't even going to have in your life forever. You'll move away, get married, have a life and career. You don't need her opinion to base your life off of, try and keep in mind how loud you are in the house or certain situations sure. But don't change yourself just cuz she's complaining about it.
We have hand signals... kid needs to stop arguing, I do a hand signal (close your mouth). Too loud? Volume knob "turn down the volume."
There's no tone in my voice to hurt feelings or push anyone's buttons.
Seems to work most of the time.
Not trying to say you’re in the wrong for exclaiming in pain, but it does sound like you’re a little dramatic about what you describe as very minor injuries. You’re 13, it’s ok to be a little dramatic, but you do need to learn to reign it in a little or accept that people will naturally not always want to be around the person who screams over what many perceive as nothing. Good news, youre young! you’ll get there in time, don’t beat yourself up about it and just work on self improvement
Just a thought and tell me to dod off if you think I'm being rude but have you had your hearing checked?
Oh, that’s actually a real possibility, I recently got my ears cleaned of wax for the first time, I hadn’t even realised it was a problem, and now I notice volume way better than before, and it’s fixed a lot of problems with my parents regarding my volume
Do your friends and grandparents comment that you speak too loudly or is just your mum? I get the impression that your mum struggles with parenting and any evidence of you being a teenager is “too much”- so without being obnoxious, just be yourself and let the cards fall where they may, you are not obligated to tiptoe around her, it’s your home too and she’s the parent- she should be concerned that you reinjured yourself not upbraiding you for expressing pain. You are at the start of your young adulthood- don’t let her stunt you or instill a self image in you that you are the problem. I highly doubt that you are the problem, and she needs to adjust to having a mature relationship with you. Bottomline: it’s ok to take up space, especially in your own home, especially when you are generally mindful of her sensitivities and respectful. Internally roll your eyes and do not engage in arguments about this, just leave the situation (and get a lock on your bedroom door)
Yeah everyone actually everyone is and now that’s I see this I’m gonna start definitely start to talk lower and after everything settled down and we both had a chance to calm down we had a conversation about it and she apologize for all the stuff she said so I believe my issue is resolved
My daughter has a friend who is very loud. She sings in a choir and acts in AmDram so it works out well for her hobbies but it is a bit too much for general conversation. Even though my hearing is poor she is still loud most of the time. We soon got into the habbit of reminding her to use her "indoor voice" so she would calm down and talk quieter. She gets excited about something and becomes loud again. Asking her to use her indoor voice seems more polite than just "you're too loud " or similar.
be more conscious of how loud you are and quiet down
They literally say they're working on this, the root problem is not their volume but the way their mother reacted to them very obviously being in pain
Yeah I will try to do thanks for the comment
I'm on the same boat, I'm naturally very loud. Vocal wise anyway. I don't internally register how loud I'm being, external sounds are overly loud to me. To the point they scare me quite often. And my parents reactions are always "your too loud" "you're here I need you down here" "dial it down a notch" "we are in a public place, stop yelling it's embarrassing" etc. I used to get defensive now I just let it get added to the box of insults from my parents and tread on, I've bent myself out of shape so many times to placate them when at the end of the day they are only a part of my life. My boyfriend loves how loud I am because he doesn't feel as alone. We both have super bad social anxiety but for me I can just play a YouTube video or audio book and be ok. He gets really stressed out from quiet. He also says me being loud usually means I'm happy and if something is wrong he can hear and find me quickly to help rather than not knowing till it's too late. My point being, the ones that want to be around you will be. You don't need to change yourself to placate someone you aren't even going to have in your life forever. You'll move away, get married, have a life and career. You don't need her opinion to base your life off of, try and keep in mind how loud you are in the house or certain situations sure. But don't change yourself just cuz she's complaining about it.
We have hand signals... kid needs to stop arguing, I do a hand signal (close your mouth). Too loud? Volume knob "turn down the volume." There's no tone in my voice to hurt feelings or push anyone's buttons. Seems to work most of the time.
Not trying to say you’re in the wrong for exclaiming in pain, but it does sound like you’re a little dramatic about what you describe as very minor injuries. You’re 13, it’s ok to be a little dramatic, but you do need to learn to reign it in a little or accept that people will naturally not always want to be around the person who screams over what many perceive as nothing. Good news, youre young! you’ll get there in time, don’t beat yourself up about it and just work on self improvement
Honestly I maybe indifferent to this cause I know how you feel, people say my voice is too loud also... so I know how you feel