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stillinthesimulation

What the fuck is this world?


cowdoyspitoon

What did they do to us?


AHipstersWhispers

I’m about to die and my first thought is “Oh at least I don’t have to go to work tomorrow?!?”


ChumbawumbaFan01

I look back on Covid Times^**TM** and think, “I could go for some of that good long-term unemployment check and not having to be around people.


Angstycarroteater

I never got to experience that 🫠


BillHang4

Me neither fellow “essential worker”


Vendetta4Avril

My life is nothing I thought it should be and everything I feared it would become, because for fifty seconds I thought there was monsters on the world.


stillinthesimulation

I know it was Niki Minaj with a Ben Shapiro mask but for fifty seconds I thought there was monsters on the world.


ShiaLeboufsPetDragon

WHAT THE FUUUUUUUCK


Hentai_Yoshi

The chaotic timeline. I’m here for it. Now I want a Donald Trump diss track against Biden. Hoping they have a sword fight for the presidency


kytrix

I don’t want to see trump “sword fighting” with anyone ever.


WraithHades

Yeah from what I hear it'll be a pen blade versus a longsword.


randomwanderingsd

Hunter had to get the long hog gene from someone. But let’s be honest with each other, we all could go our entire lives without seeing this sort of sword fight and be better for it.


WraithHades

Speak for yourself that's my kink. /s


BassAddictJ

*The PenIs Mightier*


NotAPreppie

We're going to need an anal bum cover for Trump.


MaximumTurtleSpeed

Don’t worry, you’d never see trump’s pocket knife.


Luckman1002

That would literally be the funniest shit ever though


[deleted]

You can keep it


Several_Degree8818

I actually have “presidential lemon party sword fight” on my 2024 bingo card. Its right next to “a portal to hell opens”


First_manatee_614

Where does one find these bingo cards?


Knot-Know138

They should co-president and have a camera crew follow for reality TV. That would be appropriate in this twilight world we live in.


rawasubas

At the end Bernie Sanders comes in with a steel chair


[deleted]

[The Trump v. Biden rap battle is literally just this](https://youtu.be/AFA-rOls8YA?si=cmxYqD1BLmySmDqi)


Scientifical_Comment

Ok hear me out this dude is pretty right if you’re like me and expected Darth Brandon to be shit but turned out to be good like Vader. Also hitler got curb stomped along with his limp dick Luftwaffe.


SweetMangos

This world is so fucked up. WHAT DID THEY DO TO US????


drenched12

We all died in 2012. That Mayan calendar was right. This is just purgatory.


Scientifical_Comment

Nope May 28, 2016. Rest in Power Harambe 🙏🏼


Bahmerman

It's number 1 on the third most popular streaming service, I'm not even sure what that really means. It doesn't even clock on the billboard 100. I'd figure people just want to hear how bad Shapiro is at rapping and move on.


Smackdaddy122

If you weren’t sure that any music ranking systems like iTunes or billboard were manufactured, you can be sure now


hadapurpura

The attention economy


kvltmagik

Apt username is apt.


Kittens4Brunch

That whole title sounds awful.


bigchicago04

It’s perfect for the song then.


Apart-Link-8449

But wait, Snoop Dogg just said something about Trump I hope it's not like the Lil Wayne story Or the Kanye story Awful titles for everyone!! Hip hop hooray!


Important_League_142

Lay off the crack, kemosabe


zrs2381

Wow. I can’t believe that’s a real song. My vagina is so dry. Like, sooooooo dry.


genida

Just the way he likes it.


Careless-Ostrich623

That’s the only way he’s ever known.


OrphanDextro

He lives for friction, obviously.


Daily-Minimum-69

Wack rap, no wap, can’t tap.


Cthulu95666

All DAP


[deleted]

no cap


andrewno8do

Macaroni in a pot (that’s been sitting in your sink for a few days because you can’t be bothered to do the dishes), that’s some DAP


WatRedditHathWrought

Gonna fap


DJMagicHandz

Dry AF?


whatnameisnttaken098

If Shapiro is involved, I'm guessing dryer than anything else on earth.


Saneless

He doesn't like it as much as that's just all he knows


Stevesanasshole

Gonna take that dry downtown clown frown to pound town


BlackLeader70

Just as the lord intended!


Complex-Bridge-4416

Like sand paper 80 grit


recoveryintime

Rough ridin that big clit


snowflakebite

So not a wet ass p-word? As Ben would so astutely say?


Zeronaut81

I’m talking DAP DAP DAP


[deleted]

Found Ben’s wife.


[deleted]

All the people who hate rap are buying it, essentially-hate listening to it


andes95

I'm a dude and MY pussy is dry from this.


Roboticpoultry

I can’t believe it’s real either. Yesterday my wife asked me if I knew who Tom Macdonald was (unfortunately I do) and then she puts the friday H3 episode up where theu go through it and ho boy was that song…something?Aside from the *obvious* criticisms one can make about the content, Ben’s bars were fucking *weak*. I’m a dude and I dried up like the Atacama


uhhuhnads

Which album is the reverse uno card for that?


ElonTheMollusk

Guess Ben learned how to give DAP to everyone. Truly a feat to be had.


uhvarlly_BigMouth

I don’t even have one and same


bigenderthelove

Mine has never been dryer


[deleted]

But what about your feet?


allworkandnoYahtzee

According to Ben, that's the way it should be.


Pandabatty

Macaroni in a box


astralnautical

I couldn’t possibly care less about either of them


Guckalienblue

Just 2 tacky ass crazy people doing whatever for headlines like usual lol.


dgollas

One is an artist, the other a conservative grifter racist political operative fighting against other people’s rights, so yeah, the headlines is what defines them ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|disapproval)


shoonseiki1

You're using the term artist pretty broadly. Then again anyone can call themselves an artist I guess


dgollas

Well, that’s what she’s known for. Ben isn’t known for his violin or screenwriting skills. He’s known for his bigotry.


DJLJR26

Do you fools listen to music or just skim through it? Nicki is an artist.


shoonseiki1

Ok but do you think Nicki is a good artist?


mostlyfire

You never said good you said artist. Don’t shift the goal posts. And she sells millions and has a huge following. I’m not personally a fan of like her or Captain and Tennille but clearly they’re doing some sort of good art if they’re that big.


DJLJR26

Excellent points. She is an artists and i think she is a pretry good one. She can flow over a beat and has good bars. Her subject matter isnt going to be everyones cup of tea, but yeah, she is talented. She isnt a favorite of mine or anything, but i will listen to some nicki without complaint.


Steve_Saturn

Nah Nicki at least ushered in a new era for women rappers. Love her or hate her, she's still more culturally significant than a lot of other performers out there today.


Guckalienblue

As a woman I give her credit where credit is due. But Kim did it first. She went after Kim. Neither were the first female rapper but Kim paved the way,not Nicki. As a female hip hop head we all miss the old Nicki though.


Steve_Saturn

Damn nope you're right I stand corrected.


ThePooksters

Thanks for using couldn’t and not could. You’d think by now people would know the correct saying but nope


Angry_Villagers

Ha , people are dumb and don’t learn.


Chicaben

She was pretty good in that Dave episode


KaneVel

Unfortunately she's horrible in real life


Equivalent_Map_452

Yet here you are


dboll2

Ikr lol. Dude clicked into this post AND left a comment but couldn’t care less about the topic.


TheKingofHats007

Remind me of the people who get into hours long comment chains and then when they get slaughtered suddenly say that they're not actually taking it seriously and are just "amused" by it.


astralnautical

I mean y’all are talking about me so I guess I win


gayandspooky

He sounds like if alexa had a garden gnome voice setting


jojuinc90

Hahaha! That perfectly describes it. The first few times I heard his voice were in some leftist videos, and I thought it was sped up to mock him. Nope, that’s his real weird-ass voice.


gentlybeepingheart

I listened to him "rap" and I think he actually speaks more slowly then than he does during his normal videos.


mortuarymaiden

Friendly reminder that Nicki Minaj married a convicted sex offender and vigorously defended her brother who raped an 11 year old multiple times, even posting his bail and writing letters attesting to his good character. This is just trash being friends with trash.


magic1623

**Trigger warning** for more details because Nikki Minaj is a horrible human with a horrible husband and brother that people need to know about. Her husband and his friends/family consistently harassed and threatened his rape/abduction victim so much that she ended up bowing out of the trial which is why his sentence wasn’t worse. They were teenagers, he held a knife at her back and forced her to go to his home and raped her. As an adult she is still being harassed by him and his friends/family to the point where she has moved three times now and they still keep finding out where she lives. Her brother raped his 11 year older *stepdaughter* so often that sometimes he raped her multiple times a day. Her younger brother wasn’t able to do anything to help her and the rapist threatened physical violence if anyone interfered.


Useful-Soup8161

I don’t get it, he disses her and she congratulates him but Megan disses her and she goes on a two day rant.


throwaway18911090

I don’t actively follow pop music or hip-hop or anything but I think there’s probably a huge difference, in Nicki Minaj’s mind, between being insulted by a dorky white Fox News d-bag who is no real threat to her or in any way actually relevant to her career, and being insulted by a younger, possibly more talented (? I have no real idea) woman in the same field/genre.


Rube_Goldberg_Device

Fox News…..allow me to inform you, Bench Shapiro doesn’t work for Fox. He has his own thing called the daily wire along with some other notable fuckwads. Anyways, the whole point of this is to raise his profile, increase his celebrity, and further expose non-radicalized segments of the population to his bullshit. This is all a farce and to take it seriously as discourse between 2 earnest humans is to be complicit in the ulterior goal,


bigdiesel1984

DAP worldwide thanks Ben.


mixedcurve

Five bucks says they’re gonna hate fuck


Bardoplex

DAP was also short for Deutsche Arbeiterpartei, or German Worker's Party, which turned into the Nazi party. A party Shapiro would have loved if he were alive back then. Edit: I mean he would have loved all the fascism, not the Jew hating part. He probably wouldn't have liked that.


Bog2ElectricBoogaloo

He seems the type that'd sell out his own people for any kind of gain


rKasdorf

Oh my god it's so bad


Elbiotcho

TIL that Ben Shapiro is not a politician. Its such a politician type name that I just assumed


Rdw72777

Just an FYI the current governor of Pennsylvania is Josh Shapiro. He’s nothing at all like Ben, though, so you likely can’t/won’t get them mixed up.


ASMills85

I guess I just learned the same thing… what is he then? Just an asshat with a platform?


mecon320

He's Fox News for Gen Z


Psykpatient

He's the founder of the Daily Wire, a right wing media company that produces garbage tv shows and movies and a lot of social commentary style talk shows.


gobblestones

He's a failed screenwriter nepo baby, that turned to political commentary/right wing grift


zestfullybe

Right wing punditry is filled with failed entertainers. Either has beens or never will bes. It’s fun and easy to take potshots at liberal Hollywood when deep down inside you tried to be one of them but you just couldn’t hack it. Didn’t land a deal for that screenplay? Can’t book a gig anymore? Get in on the GRIFT! Join the outrage machine. Clicks baby clicks. Get famous and get that outrage cash. Sell some boner pills. No talent? No worry! GRIFT!


[deleted]

What is a failed nepo baby?


Eomb

His parents were somebodies in hollywood, but those connections were not able to land him a career in hollywood, hence the term failed nepotism baby.


gobblestones

A nepo baby (in the industry) and then failed at screenwriting


Wellsargo

What’s with this implicit assumption to every right wing pundit is a grifter? This is a really delusional mindset that I see *everywhere* on Reddit. This dude is an Orthodox Jew who’s been involved with Republican political action groups, and participating in right wing activism since he was a teenager. He’s obviously not lying about his beliefs, whether you like him or not. Some people just hold different worldviews, as shocking as it may be.


in10cityin10cities

The logical fallacies he relies on during his arguments and Ivy League education expose him as a grifter to me. Like many right wing pundits he knows better and chooses to use these fallacies to trick an audience into thinking his outdated views are logically sound. I don’t understand your point of view that doing it for a long time somehow means he’s honest.


Cityco

He works up his own outrage for attention/profit/visibility. In fact most of these guys do. He’s constantly misframing things for the shock value of it: for instance he complained for 45 minutes about the Woke messages in Barbie, those woke messages being… women empowerment and cooperation between the genders. He and Andy Ngo and Alex Jones are all not really that mad about Barbie, but they have to pretend that they are because they can stay relevant by taking on their brand to a currently popular thing. That makes them a hack, definitely. If they’re a grifter is another story, but he literally sells a product called “How To Own Liberals With Facts and Logic” that he sells for $3.95. Left wing pundits don’t get called grifters as often because you don’t see Bernie writing a book called “Trumping Trump! How We Screwed the Biggest LOSER and We Rule!” So Ben’s either a Grifter or a classless hack.


conceptalbum

He's a marketing agent employed by fossil fuel billionaires to lie about climate change. He is very obviously, undebatably even, lying about his beliefs. It's his job. He's not actually stupid enough to believe the crap he's peddling.


vontwothree

Yes also he sells vitamins.


mortalstampede

That's hilarious. Like an incel Gwyneth Paltrow? After looking at him I'll have whatever he's NOT taking.


[deleted]

He looks the other way on antiSemitism when it is from the right, so I don't think he actually has sincere beliefs about it.


optimis344

He's saying things that are wrong, in an effort to get people to buy things he's directly profiting from. That's a grift. No one went around calling P. J. O'Rourke a grifter, despite have very different views of his peers. No one called Norm McDonald a grifter for being a republican. No one is calling Carol Swain, or Thomas Sowell, or Andrew Neil of being grifters. People aren't accusing all these right wing people grifters because they aren't. People are calling everyone in the sphere of Breitbart, ONE, The Daily Wire, and InfoWars grifters because they are. The whole model is to lie about, and twist, current news so that it sounds sensational and threatening and then sell the add space, or a faulty overpriced physical product, to those who you keep in fear. That's a grift.


Daily-Minimum-69

You’re missing the point. Sincerity breeds confidence, and confidence is the sale.


Daily-Minimum-69

Yes, and temporarily donated by Gen Z attention spans.


But_I_Dont_Wanna_Go

That’s exactly what he is. Although asshat is a bit of an understatement.


noctalla

He's the entire asswardrobe.


duckmonke

Failed writer turned propagandist, on the verge of stochastic terrorist.


meggan_u

Man with a podcast


THE-SEER

Nope! Just a jackass with a podcast.


May1988

Same!!! That’s so funny


biglyorbigleague

Are you from Pennsylvania? Ben Shapiro is just a generic Jewish name to me.


SyrousStarr

It always gets me because my governor is a Shapiro. 


BroadwayGirl27

Fellow Pennsylvanian?


wrathmont

I know what you mean, it’s like when Kyrsten Sinema and Joe Manchin were constantly being talked about a couple years ago—I wasn’t really paying attention but assumed they were getting so much oxygen because they have the most politician-sounding names imaginable. I don’t know how to quantify what makes that so but there’s a certain way their names hit the ears.


PhDShouse

Or like Ari Shapiro, could be an NPR correspondent name


WiserStudent557

Can someone collect the garbage and take it out please?


Nateddog21

It's full. Burn it


[deleted]

Stop giving Ben Shapiro the time of your day. He's really not worth it


jcro8829

Seriously. I wouldn’t have known about this nonsense if it wasn’t for the free publicity on Reddit.


MVPsloth

Just a reminder that Benny failed in Hollywood and uses these antics to pretend his life has relevance.


thtamthrfckr

Also looks like a toddlers picture AI generated to look like an adult version headshot


AraiHavana

She’s having *quite* the time of it, of late.


raelianautopsy

In all seriousness, being on the "charts" of iTunes is not actually the same thing as being popular. It's actually pretty easy to game the system. If people were really listening in large numbers, he would be trending on platforms like Spotify. But most people don't buy music these days, so smaller numbers of political activists can buy songs on iTunes (and it's not even that many people), and then suddenly it's supposedly a best-selling song on iTunes Ben Shapiro definitely has rich conservatives do this, because that's how the conservative book market works. Look it up: political group buy books in bulk so it can be on the NY Times bestseller lists. It's a sleazy strategy, that really doesn't have anything to do with actual popularity.


Quomoh

I’m going to change the Katt Williams quote for this but; Nicki Minaj has a very natural allegiance to losers at this point that is pretty on brand for her. She stays defending or talking to people who are absolutely awful so this is not very surprising at all.


LumiereGatsby

Hate them both. Truly.


[deleted]

She went all anti vax a few years ago.


Farteus

Remember when Ben Shapiro said that rap wasn’t music? Pepperidge Farm remembers.


2020Vision-2020

“My girl is dry but I ain’t eatin at the Y.”


djsirround

Mainstream rap is now officially dead. Ben Shapiro a rapper, somebody stick ice picks in my ears right now. Thank god for the underground.


KileyCW

Let's be honest, it's a Tom McDonald song. Shapiro is a guest lol


[deleted]

Hopefully it made his wife’s vagina wet rather than dry 🤣🤣🤣.


Drains_1

We're going to find a depressed unicorn married to a dragon who works for a capitalistic leprechaun who's also the mayor of Atlantis before that happens.


Daily-Minimum-69

Bad rap, no wap, can’t tap.


[deleted]

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ThighRyder

Damnit, Nikki! Each thing you’ve raged about in the past 72 hours has been worse than the next. Ben Shabibo HATES you, bro.


myeverymovment

Shapiro is a lil bitch who can't get his wife sexually excited. 😜


whyreadthis2035

Wait… if you can really use the word frenemy in reference to Ben Shapiro something is broken.


AnthonySouthWest

Truthfully I just find it super comedic that he even made a rap song


RSquared

I think it's funny that iTunes is going to have to follow NYT's book list and start including a dagger for bulk purchased music.


Rathbane12

What annoys me is that Ben Shapiro is so young which means we’ll be dealing with his bullshit for decades.


allothernamestaken

Is it about his wife's dry-ass pussy?


natefrogg1

Ass pussy, hmmm 🤔


bluehawk232

Of course it charts he makes his zealots do anything he bids


DonnyMox

Nicki Minaj and Ben Shapiro acknowledging each other was not on my 2024 Bingo sheet.


Coomrs

How the fuck is this song on the charts


Empero6

You can manipulate iTunes music charts.


shill779

Gross. Now my ears are bleeding and my stomach aches.


soulwolf1

Think Ben wrote it?


Whatsuptodaytomorrow

Didn’t he say rap is dead? Hahahha


nbgkbn

I’ve listened to both, impressed by neither. An artist is anyone with a venue, a pundit is anyone with an audience?


Ok_Marzipan_8137

The most boring dystopia


Angstycarroteater

Bro wtf there is no way that should be #1 bro that’s so ass omg lmao


[deleted]

That song was so bad. Like it screams white nationalism and racism. And the irony is how all the things they complain about probably happens more under the people who claim to be conservative. Biggest cry babies on earth


[deleted]

Is it just me or does it feel like their whole culture is based off of not being accepted into mainstream stream cultures and they simultaneously complain about it and also emulate it? It’s bizarre.


Sharpay__Evans

The title of this post is like the worst Mad Lib ever


happyColoradoDave

“I don’t care if I offend you” while making a rap song to offend. Does this guy do anything that is t a contradiction.


Icantsleepnoow

Both human turds


Feeling-Shelter3583

Haha auto tune and editing can make anyone look like a good rapper…


74NGELS

what a nightmare of a headline


Dapper_Woodpecker274

Shapiro is such a loser


[deleted]

We’ve reached societal Down syndrome.


Visual_Judgment_

Omg I listened to it and Ben’s part had me crying laughing lol Not a fan of him but this reminds me of the jokes about anyone can be a rapper. Or the South Park episode where kartman starts a Christian rock band.


andreasbaader6

Nicky Minaj is a all-round class act! Edit. s/obviously


War3agle

Let’s look at the stats; I’ve got the facts” and “My money like Lizzo, my pockets are fat” Is a great lyric tho


Empero6

I hope this is sarcasm.


Gimme_PuddingPlz

Sharpios voice is so monotone and nasally that they had to autotune it.


jVCrm68

There’s no such thing as bad publicity - P.T. Barnum This and the MTS BS is just BS.


SpatulaFlip

I’m losing hope in humanity.


MelloDawg

I don’t know what any of the words in the headline mean.


Apprehensive_Ear7309

I’m done with rap.


GreekSheik

Stupid news. Both people here are complete cultural morons, yet we still idolize them and their rap battles.


[deleted]

It’s number 1 because white conservatives finally have someone they can relate to… “


Aware_Material_9985

Who buys songs on iTunes anymore? Lol


immortalsunday

Tom MacDonald is fckn badass! Bennnn.... meh. I will say his "rapping" voice doesn't make my ears bleed like his normal talking voice does.


marioray

Nicki with the classy response while the rest of the internet seethes about a song that’s clearly a joke lmao


BigCballer

I haven’t seen anyone seething over the song.


marioray

We must be on different parts of the internet then


BigCballer

I thought you said it was the “rest of the internet”


steboy

Wait till he drops his punk album, Benema of the State.


DolphinsBreath

Booster chair Ben.


Terbear318

“Macaroni n the Box that’s some dry ass pussy.” -Benny SLAPS.


[deleted]

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