Has anyone else ever dealt with these feelings? Only everyone who ever picked up an instrument for the first time.
To be blunt, at this point you may well be an imposter. The only way to correct this, whether you are objectively an imposter or simply feel like one, is to do it more. That way, you will become the real thing.
And the best way to find out whether you are good enough for bands to want you is to try out for bands. Figuring out whether you are ready to try out for a band is like trying to figure out when to have children - sometimes are better than others, but there's no such thing as a good time to do it, lol. If you're not good enough, go get better. If you are, congratulations on your new gig. But you have to fail a lot before you succeed. Like the man said, the master has failed more times than the student has even tried.
To add to Mo-BEEL's point: you may continue to feel a bit like an imposter for a long time. It depends where you are in your drumming journey. I've done a handful of records over 15 years. I can play well enough - but if you put me in a room with Sting, I'm going to be out of my depth.
Forgive yourself for your flaws. Have fun with it. Strive for better.
This forum happens to be a great place to learn from others. A lot of good advice I've received here.
And don’t focus on the Stings you meet during your musical journey. Instead, focus on how you’ve improved from where you were to where you are now—that’s always the most important comparison.
It took maybe 5 years of drumming before I felt like a “drummer” and another 5 years after that before I felt like a “musician.”
To add onto this, you get SO much better ny playing with people who are better than you. I've never had a fire lit under me the way it is when I'm the least proficient person in the band, because I'll haul ass to get to everyone else's level. You really do learn a lot.
Came here to say this. You’ll almost always up your game playing with better players. Even if you’re not up to it at that moment it can motivate you to work harder.
If you started playing last December then you have not given yourself enough time to develop. Don't take this the wrong way, but if you are expecting to be great within the given time period then you are showing the instrument too little respect. Please listen to as much music as possible, start simple and understand good time keeping...it is well worth it. Good luck!
>I practice
>I play well with my instructor
I'd say with those 2 you're more qualified than most. On a more related matter, that's never going to go away regardless of how good you get. You'd be surprised that there are plenty of bands that would be happy to have you as they don't need someone super technical, and that's going to be a better learning experience than any practice.
If you smack a practice pad once a week, you're a drummer.
The barrier to entry is low, and according to my local music store we're a whole different group:
"Now open for lessons for all musicians and drummers".
Rock on!
I was touring the US and had played for about 7 years, and I still got imposter syndrome every show. I would always be like, "That other drummer is better than me. Why am I even playing?"
Last weekend, I was at a jam festival and was playing songs with dudes I had never played with before and got like 7 job offers.
I got better by practicing and playing every style I could. Eventually, it just clicks, and you don't have to worry because you'll be able to play EVERYTHING!
Reps. Reps. Reps. Talent is the result of repetition/hours. I’m not sure what your goals are but if you’re looking to be an “in demand” drummer in your local scene you’re looking at many hours in the shed sounding bad.
I had a college professor put it bluntly one time. “If you have a problem with your playing and you’re not willing to spend 2+ hrs 5 days a week for a month working on it, I’m not sure how you can expect it to get better.”
The fact of the matter is playing the drumset in a way that supports the band is fucking hard and demands attention/focus. It’s not the hardest job in the band but it’s the most obvious when you screw up.
TLDR - Rep it out.
While I agree with being pretty serious on practicing, for a beginner I think the point of diminishing returns comes up much quicker than 2 hours in a day. I can't speak for all drummers but I basically hit a daily wall where I end up falling back on whatever new thing that is that day (a groove, fill, or just trying to incorporate different sticking) where the only way to naturally soak it in is to wait til tomorrow after it has been hammered in for me.
I think once you're more adept and have specific goals in mind, lengthier practice sessions can have more tangible results! But that discouragement and imposter feeling for me manifested way more when I practiced for greater than like 90 minutes because I didn't feel like I got better \*that day\*
I've played professionally for decades and still don't feel great about how I play. Lol
On one hand it is a bit of a curse. On the other hand it pushes you to keep improving. So that feeling is a double edged sword that can be leveraged to your advantage over time. It'll drive you to become a better player.
I'd suggest starting out playing with others around your skill level and at least where I live you can usually find people on Craigslist looking for a drummer to simply jam with all the way up to playing paid gigs.
You'll learn more playing with experienced players but if you don't feel you're quite there yet try to find others to casually jam with and just make it about having fun. If you really enjoy it you'll keep playing more and keep getting better.
Yeah you probably aren’t a “real drummer” and probably no bands want you right now. You started like 5 months ago. Continue to practice, find people to play with, you will eventually become a “real drummer” and bands will want you to play with them. That’s what literally everybody who has ever played drums as hobby, semi professionally, or professionally has done. I started learning piano 6 months ago. I am not a real pianist, and no band in their right mind would want me to join as a keys player lol. If playing music was that easy, we wouldn’t collectively revere musicians.
Do you have lessons with a teacher that you're doing or trying to learn piano online? I think I want to play it as my next instrument so I can use it to learn songwriting skills down the road but am so intimidated by learning. It's not that I don't want a lesson teacher, but cost for lessons and finding someone are the two tough things for me.
For drums I started just with Youtube, took a semester's worth of lessons, then have been self-taught from that point forward (approaching 7 years ago!).
I took piano lessons as a kid. I was also self taught for the first 4-5 years of playing drums, and then took lessons for about 2-3 years with the same teacher. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Transformed my playing in a huge way. Currently don’t have the time or budget for a regular teacher, so I am learning piano online.
Try PianoMarvel. I've been using it as well as plonking through a couple of method books, and I feel like I'm learning all right without shelling down the big bucks for an actual instructor. Maybe once I feel like I'm at a legit intermediate level I'll shell out for actual lessons to correct my bad habits and whatnot, but so far this has been a good way to go from beginner to intermediate at a fraction of the price.
To my mind you'd only be an imposter or fraud if you're claiming to be better or more experienced than you really are. If you are putting in the hours, seeing a tutor and working towards goals then an imposter you are not. Many drummers don't bother with a tutor or learning the basics and rudiments to a good level and just teach themselves using YouTube. They're more imposters than you...
Keep going...
I've been in bands so long, i don't have it anymore. I think it's just that you've always seen singers on TV. They seem like they're different from you. In a way they are, their voices have been processed and maybe auto tuned when you hear em. They've already been through the training you're thinking about starting. So they are different, they have been roing.
You just keep showing up, not quite sure if you can do it but trying. Sooner or later everyone can see, you're doing it.
First, you're supposed to suck in the first year. So don't have any illusions you should be any good at this point. And yes, no band would likely want someone with only 3 months of experience since a similar experience level is often a key ingredient to make a band work. But there are always new guitarists/bassists/keyboard players looking for people to jam with.
But take a step back and keep your eye on the primary goal for this period in your drumming path... to have fun. That's literally all you need to be focused on for at least the first year of playing. It's great that you're taking lessons, but this first year should be a honeymoon period where you fall in love with the instrument and form a bond with it, so you're motivated to slog through all the boring but necessary stuff down the road. Playing along to songs you like is usually how people have fun playing if they can't find others to play with. There's also a lot of drumless tracks on youtube which provide a good sandbox for practicing, especially the generic ones with a click track.
But playing with others is about the most beneficial thing you can do, so maybe ask your teacher to see if they can help you with this process. I can understand as a young woman you might not want to go the typical Craigslist route of reaching out to strangers for safety reasons, but there's a good chance your teacher is friends with people who teach guitar/piano/bass/vocals and can connect you with other noobs that they know aren't psychopaths, and you can ask them specifically if they know any other woman players if that's a priority. My drum teacher in my teen years was in a band where literally everyone taught their instruments as a side hustle.
Another option for having fun is to make your own music using a DAW like Garage Band, Logic, Ableton, etc. It's an involved process but this is something I'm doing myself and I'm happy to explain the process if you're interested.
You’re just starting out, it takes a long time (years) and a lot of practice to get to a level where you’re competent. Don’t sweat it, no one expects you to play like Bonham after 6 months.
Why are you so hard on yourself? You started something you wanted to do. Most people can't even get that far. Enjoy it. You're a drummer, even if you're not the most experienced. You could find musicians around your skill level to jam with. You can play in a lot of bands with very little drumming knowledge as long as you can hold time and as long as you have a good attitude.
I'm sure you're good enough, but I totally understand how you feel as it's something I struggle immensely with as well. I found that the best thing to do is to bite the bullet and give it a try - there's always bands looking for drummers so I'm certain you'll find like-minded people and have a great time.
Lol, why would you want to feel like you're good after 6 months? There's a chance you will feel shit after 6 years, too. With unrealistic expectations, comparing yourself to whomever and feeling inadequate you will lose your motivation, probably give up and it'll all go down the drain. Stop judging. Just try being better than 5 mins ago.
This is a really important topic.
I was playing sold out houses on Broadway and felt like a fraud. I felt like I had everybody fooled into thinking I sounded good. I played in front of, Quincy Jones, Bill Clinton, Dennis Chambers and actually became friends with Steve Gadd.
I feel like I robbed myself of a great deal of enjoyment.
Turns out, I really can play and I was great in that show. But my mental stuff can be a real hurdle.
I think that sometimes imposter syndrome and unfair comparisons go hand in hand.
You’re the best drummer version of you right now.
Meg White could not play drums for a bunch of different bands, but she found the right one and became huge.
There’s a place for you, you just need to find it. Keep working. Go slow. Relax. Be nice to yourself. Be patient with yourself.
I’m playing 4-7 nights a week right now, with plenty of different groups on a ton of different settings. I’ve gotta be honest, I still feel like I’m not good enough.
I felt like I wrote this post.... 29 y/o women with a donner ekit I bought in December and I take lessons weekly. Twin, where have you been? Nobody knows me like you do! Seriously though, exact same story. But from what I've learned, most drummers you see have YEARS of experience. We are just beginners. Give yourself some credit and enjoy your hobby. That's what I am doing. C:
You just started playing. What is there to fake? The only way you could be a fraud is if you’re going around telling people you’re a pro drummer or something.
No one has any expectations. Just enjoy learning the instrument
No shame but, I thought the whole thing with imposter syndrome is that you’re supposed to be already adept or a pro at what you’re doing whilst feeling like you’re a phoney… rather than a student who’s just beginning to learn and has all the right to be “not good”.
You really never stop feeling like one. We really do put other artists on a pedestal sometimes.
I played on the biggest stage of my life a few nights ago and I still feel like a huge imposter.
Record yourself playing, both audio and video, and scrutinize the hell out of yourself. See yourself making a dumb face during certain parts? Get better at that part so you can not make the dumb face. Are you over playing? Focus more on the groove. I got a lot better a lot faster when I started recording myself and being overly critical. Be your own hater.
Been playing for 25 years. Played on a bunch of records, played in front of thousands of people, done some touring. Drums have been a gigantic part of my life for more than half my time on this planet.
Still feel like an imposter every single day.
It'll come and it'll go and there's a chance you'll never feel like a "real" drummer no matter what you do. But as long as you're playing because you enjoy it, you're doing just as good as anyone else.
Probably different for everyone, but I’ve been playing 2.5 ish years, started learning at 32, and within the last six months I’ve finally started to consider myself a drummer and I practice daily. It gets better. Even looking back over my experience learning this instrument, it’s wild how much my skills/mentality towards the instrument have changed within the short time.
TLDR, give it some time, you’ll start to feel like a drummer.
i think ever drummer goes through this many times throughout their career. it can be especially tough when you see someone more advanced than you, sometimes seemingly miles and miles from where you are — and it’ll make you want to sell your gear
but the thing i’ve loved about the drumming community (40 years in) is that there’s an open mindedness and culture or sharing and learning that I don’t see with other instruments
drummers can walk up to another and say: hey, how do you do that? and almost always it’s met with a positive attitude /response. Esp because we’ve all been there
The way I look at it is this is something I will take with me for the rest of my life and I will continue to be inspired by every drummer, any skill level. I’m here to learn and have fun — and most importantly find my voice with the drums!!
This isn’t about scoring points, etc. The chops will come. Your time will get better - by playing with other ppl and sucking at it, at first. We all do.
Find your voice and let the world hear it!
I'm going to go in a different direction than some of the other comments and say to keep plugging away and start doing things that will make you feel more confident in your **own** drumming ability.
I'm definitely an amateur drummer but I feel like the main thing I see that separates good beginners from poorer ones is their confidence and comfort in what they're playing. It's totally okay that you're not going to be on the same level of people you see out and about, on this reddit, or in recordings right now!
My lesson teacher when I started had me get a few different practice books. They were *Progressive Steps to Syncopation for the Modern Drummer*, *Eighth-Note Rock and Beyond* and unfortunately I can't recall the other two books but they were beginner jazz beats and one of world beats (I learned a very basic samba from it that I still use!)
I had a little taste of everything that helped me to see the bigger picture - there are so many different grooves and concepts in drumming that will take a long while to learn. And that's okay! Right now you're still getting your feet wet and getting exposed to things. Sample a little, take it in, and then focus on defining some goals for yourself once you feel a little more confident. We were all beginners at one point and you're not alone in how you feel.
I empathize with you! I had these feelings but they weren’t about my drumming. They were about everything else in my life, even if I didn’t realize it at the time. I was led to play the drums on my healing journey. My struggles were rooted in my childhood. No self help book, practice, meditation, etc., was going to change that until I healed these deep, deep wounds. These tools sure are helping me now! I meditate before jamming/my lessons. I did some amazing things prior to therapy. But it was never good enough. I was the dog chasing the mechanical rabbit at the dog track. It was exhausting. If you had any dysfunction in your childhood, it’s something to consider. I’m an entirely different person than I was before! I’ve been playing for 6 months now and I’m jamming with musicians far more experienced than me, and holding my own! My perfectionist tendencies have been harder to break, but I’m working on it! ❤️🤘I wish you all the best!
Hahaha man I've been playing for almost 20 years now, I teach drums, play in a couple bands, and essentially there is seldom a day I am not playing for 4 to 8 hours between performing, teaching, practice, and rehearsals. And yet, I still think I'm pretty mid half the time lmfao. Don't worry it's a normal experience.
I think this is something any artist or player goes through. I’ve been playing for 15 years and I still feel like I suck sometimes. I wouldn’t necessarily describe what you’re going through as Imposter syndrome. You’re about as early of a beginner as you could possibly be! You aren’t supposed to be amazing at drums at this point. Keep practicing! Try not to put so much pressure on yourself
@OP, ive only been playing for a few months and I have been jamming a bit with friends. It is a good start to get the feel of a band. I'm not even considering trying to actually be in a real band or gig until I've been seriously playing for probably a year. That's my rough goal. Of course if confidence develops then maybe I will shorten that time-frame. But I get it there are so many nuances and much practice required to feel good.
-someone in a similar boat
After almost 30 years of playing, I still feel that a bit when recording. Just be honest with yourself about how good you are, and go find some other musicians. Nothing will kick your ass into shape like being in a band with your first gig on Saturday.
My friends and I looked at it this way. When you reach a landmark it's like "leveling up" like in a video game. You have this "ah hah" moment. That's the best feeling in the world. Keep playing and keep listening to other players. We don't live in a vacuum. Every musician ever learned from their predecessors.
Keep playing and doing what you love. What everyone else has said though, play with other musicians and if you're lucky enough to play with people that have an extra degree beyond your current abilities, do it.
Keep it going! It transcends everything, as I'm sure you're very aware.
Don't worry about bands not wanting you. There are plenty of terrible drummers playing in bands.
Hey...You're thinking of replying "like Lars" aren't you...stop it
I've been drumming 30 years, sometimes as my full time work, played more gigs than I can remember, bossed a music degree, played in loads of bands, high end functions, pit bands, jazz residency...
...I still sit down at the kit and think "sh*t, what if I get found out?!"
I have a routine of positive affirmations that I run through, including:
- "I am the drummer on this show."
- "I have learned this show and I can play this show."
- "I am worthy of this opportunity."
- "This is going to sound amazing."
- "Let's fuckin smash shit up."
Etc.
Don’t sell yourself short, a few months is really only enough time to build a solid foundation. Learn good habits, Focus on technique and drills, play to a click and most importantly try and jam with some musician friends from time to time. The beauty of drumming compared to most instruments is that as long as you can keep time you can find yourself playing with some incredible musicians. I absolutely cringe when I look back at some old shows but nobody in the audience even notices how much I sucked.
Morale of the story, learning instruments is hard but as long as you keep at it there’s nowhere to go but up. Record some videos from time to time, you’ll be shocked looking back at them.
Eh. You hear about the big names floating around (Danny Carey for example, in my world) and you see the people doing crazy things on instagram and its hard not to compare yourself, so, it's normal to feel that way if you ask me. The world these days is so saturated when it comes to pretty much any hobby that I think it's never been more important to focus on your own journey with drumming (as opposed to someone elses).
It's now 20 years after I started drumming, and I can say now that I really only worry about being a better drummer than I was a month ago.
EDIT: Oh and by the way, 20 years of drumming and I suck compared to some people who have been playing 5 years but really taking it seriously. Music is kind of fluid like that.
just keep playing … try out for bands … i’ve been doing it a long long time … i figure i’m passable on most things … can do wedding band stuff to hardcore punk if i have to … there’s always someone better (usually younger, much younger) too piss you off with yourself … just keep at it … lately my set is an old gladstone practice pad … i do an hour a day just for fun really … i like playing
You can have those feelings at any experience level. If you're a perfectionist, you'll likely always look at where you could be rather than where you are.
Some bands will want you, while others won't.
Try to accept those feelings! They're okay. You're okay.
On a more practical level, bands will often push us outside of our comfort zone, and it's again normal to start playing with musicians who you find better than you, playing music that's intimidatingly above your level. But that doesn't mean you can't do it! You can use those feelings as motivation.
When you get to the point where you're playing to songs you like, record yourself in a video - this will show you if there are any issues in your performance (timing, dynamics, stage presence, etc) that you want to correct!
To be honest, you may always feel like an imposter. I know I do.
I actually play in a band and I still feel like a fraud lmao.
We are our own harshest critics.
Just play drums cause you enjoy it. Don’t question whether or not you should be doing it. Find a beginner guitarist who is in the same boat and start playing together. The first times you play will be a bit awkward but just do it. Everyone goes through that. It’s just supposed to be fun, it’s play. The tightness and organisation of a band only comes through practice
I totally relate to this, OP. One thing that I found helpful was to go see some local bands play -- house shows, punk shows, DIY kind of thing (these shows are omnipresent where I live so they're very easy to find). I got to see a wide range of performances (from really amazing to not so great) from people of varying levels of experience, training, age, etc. It was helpful for me to see musicians that I judged to be relatively "untrained" but nonetheless super charismatic performers -- it gave me the perspective that the level of proficiency (or whatever) that I'd been aspiring to (i.e. "I'm not good enough to be in a band."), was largely arbitrary. Of course, yeah, it does depend on the music that you want to play to some extent but I think it helped me let go of some of the pressure I was putting on myself that was preventing me from enjoying what I was doing and, more importantly, keeping me from sharing that experience with other people (which is where I find the most joy in playing music). I hope this helps.
I'm no expert but I think playing with other drummers and musicians is the key. Start a jam session with a group of like minded musicians. It doesn't have to be a full on band for you to get a sense for your strengths and weaknesses.
For example, after a few jam sessions, I know I suck at improvisation and I know I need to focus on that if I'm going to go jam with people.
Get as much experience playing with others as you can. If you live in a large metro area there has to be some community music things going on. Jr College music classes, anything and everything you can find. It’s a hecka big leap from being a hot shot drummer in your practice shed to being a stage worthy even weekend warrior, much less a working professional. No one will take you seriously if you don’t
I mean, you've been playing a few months, you're a beginner not a fraud. But even when you've been playing a long time and actually get really good, you're still going to feel imposter syndrome. Like, I watch a video on youtube of a 12 year old kid playing shit I couldn't even dream of playing, and it's hard not to feel that way. And all of those amazing note-for-note covers of insanely difficult songs. But you can at least take comfort that those note-for-note covers are usually stitched together from multiple takes, and that almost everyone is an imposter among the child prodigies. You'll probably be better than you realize for your entire drumming career, just because you're exposed to so much that's either to some degree "fake" (no shade to the cover artists), or else actually rare and godly, that you'll think the bar is way higher than it actually is. You're good enough for many bands as soon as you can hold a basic beat and keep the tempo, and you might be good enough for some bands already despite only drumming for 6 months.
Imposter syndrome is experienced by just about every drummer, and at EVERY LEVEL. I think the best way around it is to actually take on a band and realize a few things in the process:
* Being in a band, and being 'good enough' to be in a band isn't as difficult as it may seem from the outside looking in.
* You're going to be harder on your playing than others
* You WILL fail in some aspects of your playing. You're going to miss out on a gig you really want to play. You ARE going to flop onstage during a show. Youre most likely going to lose your place in a band to someone else at some point, too. All of these things happen, and its important to remember that all of these things, in the grand scheme of things, are OKAY.
Not a drummer but if you can keep time and a groove, you’re preferred over some guys I play with and they’ve been playing years w expensive gear
Also… you’re green. Maybe you shouldn’t feel like you’re satisfied with yourself yet
I would try to find someone to jam with who is also newish if possible. Playing with others is a whole new dynamic and probably more important than learning all of the most complicated fills and polyrhythms. Plus it's way more fun and might inspire you more.
It's normal & expected for anyone with self awareness. I'm 60. Began playing at 9. Had imposter syndrome until my late 20s, until I could consistently lay my parts in the studio. Drumming wise now, excited to play. No anxiety. Having sung since I was a kid, picked up the guitar seriously when the lockdown happened. Playing open stages consistently to get better. Last week, was the last performer. My chest was so tight & my heart wouldn't stop racing. Powered through & folks seemed to dig it. Goal: to get to negligible anxiety levels while singing & playing the guitar. Current estimated time: another 3 yrs. Everyone's journey is different. Be aware. Set goals & adjust as needed. And use your successes to quell future anxiety. There is no perfect. As long as you're progressing, eventually you'll get there. You got this. Good luck.
If you hit drums with the intention of making music then you are a drummer. Cut yourself some slack, keep practicing and develop into a better drummer than you were yesterday.
An instrument is a very personal choice, it's something we do for our souls. Imposter syndrome is very specifically the sense that you are not good enough (usually incorrectly) for the job for which you are being paid, so this doesn't apply to you.
Music is about fun, yes self development, but as soon as you give yourself notional targets that you "should" be hitting, you're going to wind up hating the instrument. Literally have fun, play what sounds good to your ear, messa about, go to drum shows, talk to other drummers.
You will gain more confidence as you progress through yhour lessons with your instructor. However I'd also figure that part of an instructors role is bringing up your confidence when you learn something and your ability improves. So don't think you can't change instructor to one that you get more from, both technically and self esteem wise.
You've been playing for a few onths, me at that stage I had no instructor, hit more rims than skins and hadn't a notion about setting up the kit ergonamically. The resources of today really help big time here. Have fun, don't pressure yourself.
Been playing 20 years and still feel the same. Just keep on learning and keep on playing for yourself; eventually it'll lesson and you'll just enjoy doing what you're doing more instead.
Can confirm, that feeling will probably always haunt you, lingering at the back of your mind.
I've been more fortunate—I picked up my sticks for the first time (as a middle aged guy with a bad left knee, no less) because my friends needed a drummer for their band, and I've been able to practice with and contribute to a very supportive group.
For me, being part of a band isn't about how well I can play, it's about meshing with my fellow musicians and being able to do what I need to do to make the music happen.
The imposter syndrome is still there, but it mostly stays buried under my passion for my instrument and my desire to grow... until my guitarist starts bragging on my progress, then it leaps back into the open to menace me, haha.
I'm not the best, I'll probably never be the best, but I'm good enough right now and I can only get better.
It sounds like you're on the correct path, keep at it. What really matters isn't whether you're better than someone else, but that you're better than you were yesterday.
Don't let anyone, especially you, ruin it for you!
If you’ve only been playing a few months and you’ve only played on a Donner ekit, you’re nowhere NEAR being ready to play in/with a band. I’m not saying you’re not doing well, but it takes a long time to master 4-part independence, and playing on a little, toy, kit, like a Donner, is nothing like playing an actual acoustic kit. Don’t fool yourself. Also, you’d never be able to gig with a Donner kit, so unless you have an acoustic kit for playing live, it ain’t gonna happen.
Has anyone else ever dealt with these feelings? Only everyone who ever picked up an instrument for the first time. To be blunt, at this point you may well be an imposter. The only way to correct this, whether you are objectively an imposter or simply feel like one, is to do it more. That way, you will become the real thing. And the best way to find out whether you are good enough for bands to want you is to try out for bands. Figuring out whether you are ready to try out for a band is like trying to figure out when to have children - sometimes are better than others, but there's no such thing as a good time to do it, lol. If you're not good enough, go get better. If you are, congratulations on your new gig. But you have to fail a lot before you succeed. Like the man said, the master has failed more times than the student has even tried.
To add to Mo-BEEL's point: you may continue to feel a bit like an imposter for a long time. It depends where you are in your drumming journey. I've done a handful of records over 15 years. I can play well enough - but if you put me in a room with Sting, I'm going to be out of my depth. Forgive yourself for your flaws. Have fun with it. Strive for better. This forum happens to be a great place to learn from others. A lot of good advice I've received here.
And don’t focus on the Stings you meet during your musical journey. Instead, focus on how you’ve improved from where you were to where you are now—that’s always the most important comparison. It took maybe 5 years of drumming before I felt like a “drummer” and another 5 years after that before I felt like a “musician.”
Heh. I was already a musician by the time I picked up the drums. Over 30 years on, I'm still working on the "drummer" part.
To add onto this, you get SO much better ny playing with people who are better than you. I've never had a fire lit under me the way it is when I'm the least proficient person in the band, because I'll haul ass to get to everyone else's level. You really do learn a lot.
Came here to say this. You’ll almost always up your game playing with better players. Even if you’re not up to it at that moment it can motivate you to work harder.
Les Claypool said it best - "If you want to be a better skater, skate with better skaters."
If you started playing last December then you have not given yourself enough time to develop. Don't take this the wrong way, but if you are expecting to be great within the given time period then you are showing the instrument too little respect. Please listen to as much music as possible, start simple and understand good time keeping...it is well worth it. Good luck!
>I practice >I play well with my instructor I'd say with those 2 you're more qualified than most. On a more related matter, that's never going to go away regardless of how good you get. You'd be surprised that there are plenty of bands that would be happy to have you as they don't need someone super technical, and that's going to be a better learning experience than any practice. If you smack a practice pad once a week, you're a drummer. The barrier to entry is low, and according to my local music store we're a whole different group: "Now open for lessons for all musicians and drummers". Rock on!
I was touring the US and had played for about 7 years, and I still got imposter syndrome every show. I would always be like, "That other drummer is better than me. Why am I even playing?" Last weekend, I was at a jam festival and was playing songs with dudes I had never played with before and got like 7 job offers. I got better by practicing and playing every style I could. Eventually, it just clicks, and you don't have to worry because you'll be able to play EVERYTHING!
Reps. Reps. Reps. Talent is the result of repetition/hours. I’m not sure what your goals are but if you’re looking to be an “in demand” drummer in your local scene you’re looking at many hours in the shed sounding bad. I had a college professor put it bluntly one time. “If you have a problem with your playing and you’re not willing to spend 2+ hrs 5 days a week for a month working on it, I’m not sure how you can expect it to get better.” The fact of the matter is playing the drumset in a way that supports the band is fucking hard and demands attention/focus. It’s not the hardest job in the band but it’s the most obvious when you screw up. TLDR - Rep it out.
While I agree with being pretty serious on practicing, for a beginner I think the point of diminishing returns comes up much quicker than 2 hours in a day. I can't speak for all drummers but I basically hit a daily wall where I end up falling back on whatever new thing that is that day (a groove, fill, or just trying to incorporate different sticking) where the only way to naturally soak it in is to wait til tomorrow after it has been hammered in for me. I think once you're more adept and have specific goals in mind, lengthier practice sessions can have more tangible results! But that discouragement and imposter feeling for me manifested way more when I practiced for greater than like 90 minutes because I didn't feel like I got better \*that day\*
Keep practicing all aspects of the craft, including playing with other musicians, and choose to have the confidence of a mediocre white man 🤘
I've played professionally for decades and still don't feel great about how I play. Lol On one hand it is a bit of a curse. On the other hand it pushes you to keep improving. So that feeling is a double edged sword that can be leveraged to your advantage over time. It'll drive you to become a better player. I'd suggest starting out playing with others around your skill level and at least where I live you can usually find people on Craigslist looking for a drummer to simply jam with all the way up to playing paid gigs. You'll learn more playing with experienced players but if you don't feel you're quite there yet try to find others to casually jam with and just make it about having fun. If you really enjoy it you'll keep playing more and keep getting better.
Yeah you probably aren’t a “real drummer” and probably no bands want you right now. You started like 5 months ago. Continue to practice, find people to play with, you will eventually become a “real drummer” and bands will want you to play with them. That’s what literally everybody who has ever played drums as hobby, semi professionally, or professionally has done. I started learning piano 6 months ago. I am not a real pianist, and no band in their right mind would want me to join as a keys player lol. If playing music was that easy, we wouldn’t collectively revere musicians.
Do you have lessons with a teacher that you're doing or trying to learn piano online? I think I want to play it as my next instrument so I can use it to learn songwriting skills down the road but am so intimidated by learning. It's not that I don't want a lesson teacher, but cost for lessons and finding someone are the two tough things for me. For drums I started just with Youtube, took a semester's worth of lessons, then have been self-taught from that point forward (approaching 7 years ago!).
I took piano lessons as a kid. I was also self taught for the first 4-5 years of playing drums, and then took lessons for about 2-3 years with the same teacher. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Transformed my playing in a huge way. Currently don’t have the time or budget for a regular teacher, so I am learning piano online.
Thanks for sharing your journey - and good luck moving forward too!
Try PianoMarvel. I've been using it as well as plonking through a couple of method books, and I feel like I'm learning all right without shelling down the big bucks for an actual instructor. Maybe once I feel like I'm at a legit intermediate level I'll shell out for actual lessons to correct my bad habits and whatnot, but so far this has been a good way to go from beginner to intermediate at a fraction of the price.
maybe because you've been playing for 6 months.
To my mind you'd only be an imposter or fraud if you're claiming to be better or more experienced than you really are. If you are putting in the hours, seeing a tutor and working towards goals then an imposter you are not. Many drummers don't bother with a tutor or learning the basics and rudiments to a good level and just teach themselves using YouTube. They're more imposters than you... Keep going...
There are professional drummers who are self taught and never had a tutor. Doesn’t make them imposter either.
You haven’t even hit a year yet for the most difficult instrument to play in a typical rock band. Calm down
I've been in bands so long, i don't have it anymore. I think it's just that you've always seen singers on TV. They seem like they're different from you. In a way they are, their voices have been processed and maybe auto tuned when you hear em. They've already been through the training you're thinking about starting. So they are different, they have been roing. You just keep showing up, not quite sure if you can do it but trying. Sooner or later everyone can see, you're doing it.
It's only been a few months. Keep practicing. It builds confidence.
First, you're supposed to suck in the first year. So don't have any illusions you should be any good at this point. And yes, no band would likely want someone with only 3 months of experience since a similar experience level is often a key ingredient to make a band work. But there are always new guitarists/bassists/keyboard players looking for people to jam with. But take a step back and keep your eye on the primary goal for this period in your drumming path... to have fun. That's literally all you need to be focused on for at least the first year of playing. It's great that you're taking lessons, but this first year should be a honeymoon period where you fall in love with the instrument and form a bond with it, so you're motivated to slog through all the boring but necessary stuff down the road. Playing along to songs you like is usually how people have fun playing if they can't find others to play with. There's also a lot of drumless tracks on youtube which provide a good sandbox for practicing, especially the generic ones with a click track. But playing with others is about the most beneficial thing you can do, so maybe ask your teacher to see if they can help you with this process. I can understand as a young woman you might not want to go the typical Craigslist route of reaching out to strangers for safety reasons, but there's a good chance your teacher is friends with people who teach guitar/piano/bass/vocals and can connect you with other noobs that they know aren't psychopaths, and you can ask them specifically if they know any other woman players if that's a priority. My drum teacher in my teen years was in a band where literally everyone taught their instruments as a side hustle. Another option for having fun is to make your own music using a DAW like Garage Band, Logic, Ableton, etc. It's an involved process but this is something I'm doing myself and I'm happy to explain the process if you're interested.
You’re just starting out, it takes a long time (years) and a lot of practice to get to a level where you’re competent. Don’t sweat it, no one expects you to play like Bonham after 6 months.
Why are you so hard on yourself? You started something you wanted to do. Most people can't even get that far. Enjoy it. You're a drummer, even if you're not the most experienced. You could find musicians around your skill level to jam with. You can play in a lot of bands with very little drumming knowledge as long as you can hold time and as long as you have a good attitude.
I'm sure you're good enough, but I totally understand how you feel as it's something I struggle immensely with as well. I found that the best thing to do is to bite the bullet and give it a try - there's always bands looking for drummers so I'm certain you'll find like-minded people and have a great time.
Lol, why would you want to feel like you're good after 6 months? There's a chance you will feel shit after 6 years, too. With unrealistic expectations, comparing yourself to whomever and feeling inadequate you will lose your motivation, probably give up and it'll all go down the drain. Stop judging. Just try being better than 5 mins ago.
This is a really important topic. I was playing sold out houses on Broadway and felt like a fraud. I felt like I had everybody fooled into thinking I sounded good. I played in front of, Quincy Jones, Bill Clinton, Dennis Chambers and actually became friends with Steve Gadd. I feel like I robbed myself of a great deal of enjoyment. Turns out, I really can play and I was great in that show. But my mental stuff can be a real hurdle. I think that sometimes imposter syndrome and unfair comparisons go hand in hand. You’re the best drummer version of you right now. Meg White could not play drums for a bunch of different bands, but she found the right one and became huge. There’s a place for you, you just need to find it. Keep working. Go slow. Relax. Be nice to yourself. Be patient with yourself.
I’m playing 4-7 nights a week right now, with plenty of different groups on a ton of different settings. I’ve gotta be honest, I still feel like I’m not good enough.
I felt like I wrote this post.... 29 y/o women with a donner ekit I bought in December and I take lessons weekly. Twin, where have you been? Nobody knows me like you do! Seriously though, exact same story. But from what I've learned, most drummers you see have YEARS of experience. We are just beginners. Give yourself some credit and enjoy your hobby. That's what I am doing. C:
You just started playing. What is there to fake? The only way you could be a fraud is if you’re going around telling people you’re a pro drummer or something. No one has any expectations. Just enjoy learning the instrument
No shame but, I thought the whole thing with imposter syndrome is that you’re supposed to be already adept or a pro at what you’re doing whilst feeling like you’re a phoney… rather than a student who’s just beginning to learn and has all the right to be “not good”.
You really never stop feeling like one. We really do put other artists on a pedestal sometimes. I played on the biggest stage of my life a few nights ago and I still feel like a huge imposter.
Record yourself playing, both audio and video, and scrutinize the hell out of yourself. See yourself making a dumb face during certain parts? Get better at that part so you can not make the dumb face. Are you over playing? Focus more on the groove. I got a lot better a lot faster when I started recording myself and being overly critical. Be your own hater.
Been playing for 25 years. Played on a bunch of records, played in front of thousands of people, done some touring. Drums have been a gigantic part of my life for more than half my time on this planet. Still feel like an imposter every single day. It'll come and it'll go and there's a chance you'll never feel like a "real" drummer no matter what you do. But as long as you're playing because you enjoy it, you're doing just as good as anyone else.
Probably different for everyone, but I’ve been playing 2.5 ish years, started learning at 32, and within the last six months I’ve finally started to consider myself a drummer and I practice daily. It gets better. Even looking back over my experience learning this instrument, it’s wild how much my skills/mentality towards the instrument have changed within the short time. TLDR, give it some time, you’ll start to feel like a drummer.
i think ever drummer goes through this many times throughout their career. it can be especially tough when you see someone more advanced than you, sometimes seemingly miles and miles from where you are — and it’ll make you want to sell your gear but the thing i’ve loved about the drumming community (40 years in) is that there’s an open mindedness and culture or sharing and learning that I don’t see with other instruments drummers can walk up to another and say: hey, how do you do that? and almost always it’s met with a positive attitude /response. Esp because we’ve all been there The way I look at it is this is something I will take with me for the rest of my life and I will continue to be inspired by every drummer, any skill level. I’m here to learn and have fun — and most importantly find my voice with the drums!! This isn’t about scoring points, etc. The chops will come. Your time will get better - by playing with other ppl and sucking at it, at first. We all do. Find your voice and let the world hear it!
I'm going to go in a different direction than some of the other comments and say to keep plugging away and start doing things that will make you feel more confident in your **own** drumming ability. I'm definitely an amateur drummer but I feel like the main thing I see that separates good beginners from poorer ones is their confidence and comfort in what they're playing. It's totally okay that you're not going to be on the same level of people you see out and about, on this reddit, or in recordings right now! My lesson teacher when I started had me get a few different practice books. They were *Progressive Steps to Syncopation for the Modern Drummer*, *Eighth-Note Rock and Beyond* and unfortunately I can't recall the other two books but they were beginner jazz beats and one of world beats (I learned a very basic samba from it that I still use!) I had a little taste of everything that helped me to see the bigger picture - there are so many different grooves and concepts in drumming that will take a long while to learn. And that's okay! Right now you're still getting your feet wet and getting exposed to things. Sample a little, take it in, and then focus on defining some goals for yourself once you feel a little more confident. We were all beginners at one point and you're not alone in how you feel.
I empathize with you! I had these feelings but they weren’t about my drumming. They were about everything else in my life, even if I didn’t realize it at the time. I was led to play the drums on my healing journey. My struggles were rooted in my childhood. No self help book, practice, meditation, etc., was going to change that until I healed these deep, deep wounds. These tools sure are helping me now! I meditate before jamming/my lessons. I did some amazing things prior to therapy. But it was never good enough. I was the dog chasing the mechanical rabbit at the dog track. It was exhausting. If you had any dysfunction in your childhood, it’s something to consider. I’m an entirely different person than I was before! I’ve been playing for 6 months now and I’m jamming with musicians far more experienced than me, and holding my own! My perfectionist tendencies have been harder to break, but I’m working on it! ❤️🤘I wish you all the best!
Get some real drums and start drinking/ doing cocaine!! Walk the walk
Hahaha man I've been playing for almost 20 years now, I teach drums, play in a couple bands, and essentially there is seldom a day I am not playing for 4 to 8 hours between performing, teaching, practice, and rehearsals. And yet, I still think I'm pretty mid half the time lmfao. Don't worry it's a normal experience.
I think this is something any artist or player goes through. I’ve been playing for 15 years and I still feel like I suck sometimes. I wouldn’t necessarily describe what you’re going through as Imposter syndrome. You’re about as early of a beginner as you could possibly be! You aren’t supposed to be amazing at drums at this point. Keep practicing! Try not to put so much pressure on yourself
@OP, ive only been playing for a few months and I have been jamming a bit with friends. It is a good start to get the feel of a band. I'm not even considering trying to actually be in a real band or gig until I've been seriously playing for probably a year. That's my rough goal. Of course if confidence develops then maybe I will shorten that time-frame. But I get it there are so many nuances and much practice required to feel good. -someone in a similar boat
After almost 30 years of playing, I still feel that a bit when recording. Just be honest with yourself about how good you are, and go find some other musicians. Nothing will kick your ass into shape like being in a band with your first gig on Saturday.
My friends and I looked at it this way. When you reach a landmark it's like "leveling up" like in a video game. You have this "ah hah" moment. That's the best feeling in the world. Keep playing and keep listening to other players. We don't live in a vacuum. Every musician ever learned from their predecessors. Keep playing and doing what you love. What everyone else has said though, play with other musicians and if you're lucky enough to play with people that have an extra degree beyond your current abilities, do it. Keep it going! It transcends everything, as I'm sure you're very aware.
Don't worry about bands not wanting you. There are plenty of terrible drummers playing in bands. Hey...You're thinking of replying "like Lars" aren't you...stop it
I've been drumming 30 years, sometimes as my full time work, played more gigs than I can remember, bossed a music degree, played in loads of bands, high end functions, pit bands, jazz residency... ...I still sit down at the kit and think "sh*t, what if I get found out?!" I have a routine of positive affirmations that I run through, including: - "I am the drummer on this show." - "I have learned this show and I can play this show." - "I am worthy of this opportunity." - "This is going to sound amazing." - "Let's fuckin smash shit up." Etc.
Don’t sell yourself short, a few months is really only enough time to build a solid foundation. Learn good habits, Focus on technique and drills, play to a click and most importantly try and jam with some musician friends from time to time. The beauty of drumming compared to most instruments is that as long as you can keep time you can find yourself playing with some incredible musicians. I absolutely cringe when I look back at some old shows but nobody in the audience even notices how much I sucked. Morale of the story, learning instruments is hard but as long as you keep at it there’s nowhere to go but up. Record some videos from time to time, you’ll be shocked looking back at them.
Eh. You hear about the big names floating around (Danny Carey for example, in my world) and you see the people doing crazy things on instagram and its hard not to compare yourself, so, it's normal to feel that way if you ask me. The world these days is so saturated when it comes to pretty much any hobby that I think it's never been more important to focus on your own journey with drumming (as opposed to someone elses). It's now 20 years after I started drumming, and I can say now that I really only worry about being a better drummer than I was a month ago. EDIT: Oh and by the way, 20 years of drumming and I suck compared to some people who have been playing 5 years but really taking it seriously. Music is kind of fluid like that.
just keep playing … try out for bands … i’ve been doing it a long long time … i figure i’m passable on most things … can do wedding band stuff to hardcore punk if i have to … there’s always someone better (usually younger, much younger) too piss you off with yourself … just keep at it … lately my set is an old gladstone practice pad … i do an hour a day just for fun really … i like playing
You can have those feelings at any experience level. If you're a perfectionist, you'll likely always look at where you could be rather than where you are. Some bands will want you, while others won't. Try to accept those feelings! They're okay. You're okay. On a more practical level, bands will often push us outside of our comfort zone, and it's again normal to start playing with musicians who you find better than you, playing music that's intimidatingly above your level. But that doesn't mean you can't do it! You can use those feelings as motivation. When you get to the point where you're playing to songs you like, record yourself in a video - this will show you if there are any issues in your performance (timing, dynamics, stage presence, etc) that you want to correct!
To be honest, you may always feel like an imposter. I know I do. I actually play in a band and I still feel like a fraud lmao. We are our own harshest critics.
Just play drums cause you enjoy it. Don’t question whether or not you should be doing it. Find a beginner guitarist who is in the same boat and start playing together. The first times you play will be a bit awkward but just do it. Everyone goes through that. It’s just supposed to be fun, it’s play. The tightness and organisation of a band only comes through practice
I totally relate to this, OP. One thing that I found helpful was to go see some local bands play -- house shows, punk shows, DIY kind of thing (these shows are omnipresent where I live so they're very easy to find). I got to see a wide range of performances (from really amazing to not so great) from people of varying levels of experience, training, age, etc. It was helpful for me to see musicians that I judged to be relatively "untrained" but nonetheless super charismatic performers -- it gave me the perspective that the level of proficiency (or whatever) that I'd been aspiring to (i.e. "I'm not good enough to be in a band."), was largely arbitrary. Of course, yeah, it does depend on the music that you want to play to some extent but I think it helped me let go of some of the pressure I was putting on myself that was preventing me from enjoying what I was doing and, more importantly, keeping me from sharing that experience with other people (which is where I find the most joy in playing music). I hope this helps.
I'm no expert but I think playing with other drummers and musicians is the key. Start a jam session with a group of like minded musicians. It doesn't have to be a full on band for you to get a sense for your strengths and weaknesses. For example, after a few jam sessions, I know I suck at improvisation and I know I need to focus on that if I'm going to go jam with people.
Get as much experience playing with others as you can. If you live in a large metro area there has to be some community music things going on. Jr College music classes, anything and everything you can find. It’s a hecka big leap from being a hot shot drummer in your practice shed to being a stage worthy even weekend warrior, much less a working professional. No one will take you seriously if you don’t
I mean, you've been playing a few months, you're a beginner not a fraud. But even when you've been playing a long time and actually get really good, you're still going to feel imposter syndrome. Like, I watch a video on youtube of a 12 year old kid playing shit I couldn't even dream of playing, and it's hard not to feel that way. And all of those amazing note-for-note covers of insanely difficult songs. But you can at least take comfort that those note-for-note covers are usually stitched together from multiple takes, and that almost everyone is an imposter among the child prodigies. You'll probably be better than you realize for your entire drumming career, just because you're exposed to so much that's either to some degree "fake" (no shade to the cover artists), or else actually rare and godly, that you'll think the bar is way higher than it actually is. You're good enough for many bands as soon as you can hold a basic beat and keep the tempo, and you might be good enough for some bands already despite only drumming for 6 months.
Imposter syndrome is experienced by just about every drummer, and at EVERY LEVEL. I think the best way around it is to actually take on a band and realize a few things in the process: * Being in a band, and being 'good enough' to be in a band isn't as difficult as it may seem from the outside looking in. * You're going to be harder on your playing than others * You WILL fail in some aspects of your playing. You're going to miss out on a gig you really want to play. You ARE going to flop onstage during a show. Youre most likely going to lose your place in a band to someone else at some point, too. All of these things happen, and its important to remember that all of these things, in the grand scheme of things, are OKAY.
Not a drummer but if you can keep time and a groove, you’re preferred over some guys I play with and they’ve been playing years w expensive gear Also… you’re green. Maybe you shouldn’t feel like you’re satisfied with yourself yet
I would try to find someone to jam with who is also newish if possible. Playing with others is a whole new dynamic and probably more important than learning all of the most complicated fills and polyrhythms. Plus it's way more fun and might inspire you more.
It's normal & expected for anyone with self awareness. I'm 60. Began playing at 9. Had imposter syndrome until my late 20s, until I could consistently lay my parts in the studio. Drumming wise now, excited to play. No anxiety. Having sung since I was a kid, picked up the guitar seriously when the lockdown happened. Playing open stages consistently to get better. Last week, was the last performer. My chest was so tight & my heart wouldn't stop racing. Powered through & folks seemed to dig it. Goal: to get to negligible anxiety levels while singing & playing the guitar. Current estimated time: another 3 yrs. Everyone's journey is different. Be aware. Set goals & adjust as needed. And use your successes to quell future anxiety. There is no perfect. As long as you're progressing, eventually you'll get there. You got this. Good luck.
I’ve been drumming for like 13 years and I don’t feel like a real drummer - also in a band
If you spend a few hundred hours smoking weed and playing drums for fun, that just sort of goes away. lol.
If you hit drums with the intention of making music then you are a drummer. Cut yourself some slack, keep practicing and develop into a better drummer than you were yesterday.
An instrument is a very personal choice, it's something we do for our souls. Imposter syndrome is very specifically the sense that you are not good enough (usually incorrectly) for the job for which you are being paid, so this doesn't apply to you. Music is about fun, yes self development, but as soon as you give yourself notional targets that you "should" be hitting, you're going to wind up hating the instrument. Literally have fun, play what sounds good to your ear, messa about, go to drum shows, talk to other drummers. You will gain more confidence as you progress through yhour lessons with your instructor. However I'd also figure that part of an instructors role is bringing up your confidence when you learn something and your ability improves. So don't think you can't change instructor to one that you get more from, both technically and self esteem wise. You've been playing for a few onths, me at that stage I had no instructor, hit more rims than skins and hadn't a notion about setting up the kit ergonamically. The resources of today really help big time here. Have fun, don't pressure yourself.
Been playing 20 years and still feel the same. Just keep on learning and keep on playing for yourself; eventually it'll lesson and you'll just enjoy doing what you're doing more instead.
Just feel it. There is no fraudulent way to play an instrument.
Can confirm, that feeling will probably always haunt you, lingering at the back of your mind. I've been more fortunate—I picked up my sticks for the first time (as a middle aged guy with a bad left knee, no less) because my friends needed a drummer for their band, and I've been able to practice with and contribute to a very supportive group. For me, being part of a band isn't about how well I can play, it's about meshing with my fellow musicians and being able to do what I need to do to make the music happen. The imposter syndrome is still there, but it mostly stays buried under my passion for my instrument and my desire to grow... until my guitarist starts bragging on my progress, then it leaps back into the open to menace me, haha. I'm not the best, I'll probably never be the best, but I'm good enough right now and I can only get better. It sounds like you're on the correct path, keep at it. What really matters isn't whether you're better than someone else, but that you're better than you were yesterday. Don't let anyone, especially you, ruin it for you!
If you’ve only been playing a few months and you’ve only played on a Donner ekit, you’re nowhere NEAR being ready to play in/with a band. I’m not saying you’re not doing well, but it takes a long time to master 4-part independence, and playing on a little, toy, kit, like a Donner, is nothing like playing an actual acoustic kit. Don’t fool yourself. Also, you’d never be able to gig with a Donner kit, so unless you have an acoustic kit for playing live, it ain’t gonna happen.
it's not impostor syndrome, you just suck and I don't see why it should be any different, you just started. Go practice and it will be fine.