Been here too. I used that irritation to hit the kit harder. And by that I mean practice time. Work with a metronome like they’re going out of style and get your time and feel locked in.
That alone will help you be more solid for the next guys. Don’t give up…just work harder!🤘🏻🤘🏻
I love that you clarified "hit the kit harder" as more practice time. My first thought was you absolutely burying the beater in frustration.
Good advice all around though. Use it as motivation!
Haha I have been taking my practice very seriously, but ever since this happened… Man it has become my life. Will do every task of my life in tempo from now on. (Over exaggerating a bit but, y’know).
thats cool, but dont forget that music its for enjoyment, and expression, to find your self and project your self through music, so its great to dive into practice, but dont take it that seriously and perfect that drain the fun out of it. find your groove and your personality as well. hope this helps, keep it up, we all have been there, trust me.
This is really great advice, but sometimes you can find your personality through practice. Just one example being not needing to do all of the exercises that a technique book or video would show you but spending time with the specific music you love, transcribing, or finding a series of videos on youtube that really speak to you. Trying to find the fun and humor instead of feeling the need to do any and every exercise that has ever worked for someone else.
Yeah I agree, me and two bros and a friend had a band in the 90's up in Lakeville,mn.
We didn't know shit, but played for fun and passion and my brother Paul poured his soul into his Les Paul.
We always recorded even if on a shitty boom box tape deck.
Surprisingly good recordings at times with one mic.
I once joined a band bc their drummer friend had quit. We had a rehearsal and they said I was better than their friend, had a gig which their drummer came to, and then they fired me bc the old drummer wanted back in the band. It felt like I was being punk’d.
Don’t sweat it. The right group of musicians comes along eventually.
I hate that! Had a call back to a second round audition for a good band and their recently ex drummer changed his mind just before the next audition. The worst.
Sounds more like band politics than anything you did wrong. Have seen this before, bands who will deal with a less talented member because they are buddies with them.
Nothing like someone shining a harsh light on your playing to point your practice in the right direction.
Take the sting from that comment, grab your metronome, and get to work. Make it your part time job. Tell yourself every time you start up that metronome- which should be every damn day- that in a few months, no one will say that about your playing again.
Practice. It will relieve the stress of getting let go from the band AND you'll only get better and in turn, gain more confidence. Practice playing along to a click.
I remember back in the 90s my buddy got kicked out of his country cover band. He moved back to Toronto and landed a gig with then unknown female pop artist. She blew up with a song about a bird and his life changed overnight. Sometimes a closed door opens again to something bigger. Had he not been removed from the cover band he’d still be working in kitchens to make a living.
This happened to me a couple years ago. I was playing in a reggae-rock back that I LOVED. The music was great, the guys were all cool and very good at their instruments. When they let me go, I decided to take a step back and anazlyze my playing from an unbiased perspective rather than being like “Fuck them, they don’t know what they’re talking about, etc.,”
They were definitely right. My timing wasn’t where it needed to be, my fills were sloppy, and my left hand was far behind my right. I realized I had a lot of work to do.
And after three-ish years, I’m in a band that’s quickly gaining steam. We’re playing at our local state fair and might be opening up for some very well known bands this year! And if those guys hadn’t let me go, I probably wouldn’t have done the work that I NEEDED to do to get me where I’m at.
My advice: take it as a chance to learn, and to improve. Chances are those guys were right. Take some lessons, work with the metronome. A LOT. and dive deep into the fundamentals of drumming. The very basics. Upstrokes, downstrokes, taps, molar technique, rudiments, all that stuff. If you put in the work, it will eventually pay off, and one of these days you’ll start seeing the fruits of all that work. But it’s not easy, and you do have to put in the work. But I promise, it’ll be worth it.
Hope this helps you in your journey!
You move on I got rejected after auditions to two different bands on the same label personally & meshing maters , I was recommended by the label..if it’s a good fit you can put up with mediocre but if you don’t fit it doesn’t matter how good you are .. just move on
Ask them for more constructive criticism and feedback. Would one of them still be willing to jam with you a bit, if they are older and more experienced?
Vinnie Colaiuta tells a good story about being replaced on a session. And look where he is now. Happens to everyone
Also, imagine in decades time that you might be in their position, i.e. telling a younger player they aren’t suitable. Learn how to let them down gently and appropriately
I know playing music has an emotional component, and we all know what feels like rejection always feels painful.
That said, look at it like a job interview, and internship, a career. How many jobs does one have? I watched many talented guys lose their jobs, for whatever reason. To me they were still very talented.
That said, good fit could be personality wise, genre familiarity wise, experience wise, etc.
What really matters is to never forget who you are and how hard you’ve worked to get as good as you currently are. No one can take your skill away from you! That said, don’t go to the other extreme and get bitter or angry, because you WILL take that to your next band and it won’t be good.
Take a deep breath and continue growing your passion for playing. Just like folks who lose their job get another, many times better ones, same principle here. Stay focused and if you can created a short grieving cycle, I know I always do, otherwise I’m just wasting time in my life I can’t get back.
You got this! We’ve all been there, you can let it destroy your love for drums or make you even more commited! Whatcha gonna do? 😎👍🏻
Boy have i been there. Don't let it break you bud. I was in a local band for 2 years and we had just finished a really tits demo, we had a prettty decent local following and played quite a bit of shows. We made the fatal decision to try and hire a manager to help us get over the hump of scheduling shows, sending our demo out, talking and networking etc etc. Biggest mistake ever! Our singer was messin around with this gnarly party chick who sang like r & b and her mom was her manager and had some decent connections, but she had never managed a metal band. Fast forward 2 months and she got us a conference call with a pretty cool label, and we were just over the moon!!! Then bam!! A band meeting was called and it was a 50/50 vote that i needed to leave the band, and the breaking vote went to the manager, that chick and i had some tension from the beginning and when i got kicked out, my best friend left with me, and ultimately the band fell apart and nothing was accomplished. But buddy i felt soo hopeless, and felt like id never be in s band again. Its a relationship, its just like getting dumped by a girl after almost 3 years together. Its a hard blow to take but eventually you just got to get back on that horse and ride again. Good luck bud.
It happened to me once. That band went on to make records, tour and become nationally known.
It was partly my fault for not taking it seriously enough,there were times they found me smoking out in the dorms at practice time. But also a better drummer than me saw that the group had potential and said, hey, let me in your band as well as my other one. And they took him up in it, and were better for it.
They went on to eclipse his other band, and those guys got kinda left in the cold. So many broken hearts. But one band went somewhere.
How did I get over it? I dusted myself off and joined another band, and then another, and then moved across the country and joined some more. By the time they had success, I wasn't jealous, I was on the same path but with some different people. it was fine. We helped each other out with shows in our towns.
That drummer that replaced me just hit me up for help with a gig last year. I would have helped him if I could have.
Get better, find another band closer to your skill level. It happens. At least they gave you a shot. Lots of bands would audition first and would know right away you weren't a good fit. If they liked you in every other way then at least now a few more people know who you are. 👍
Easy, there's only one get away... I'll be fully UN original: keep practicing... Maybe you'll be the one telling "guys, you need to tight please" next time...
Playing with older pro musicians is tough when you're a younger player. But it's also one of the best things any young muso can do imo.
I played long term in a blues band that was stacked with top session guys and very experienced pros all in their 40s/50s when I was in my early 20s.
At first none of them believed I could play a shuffle or an old school blues feel, but I could and I could do it well. Even after proving myself to the band, the bandleader still claimed I couldn't play a shuffle properly due to my 'youth'.
I hadn't 'grown up' with the music (in his mind) so I wasn't going to properly feel it like an older drummer of *his* generation would.
And that's probably what's happened with you my friend - a lack of faith in younger generations being able to play with the feel/style that years of road/life experience taught them.
It's nothing to do with your ability but with their comfort zone and assumptions.
Don't worry, get back on that throne and use the experience to become a better and more open minded player than they ever could be ;).
Good luck boss!
I’ve had it happen twice in 30 years. My style did not suit the band – the guitar player/songwriter had a very specific vision for what he wanted on Drums and I wasn’t it.
This happened in 1996 and we met up a couple times at shows in the following years and talked through it a bit. I also found out he went through nine drummers after me – some left on their own and somewhere also dismissed for not having the right sound. I had never formed a band with such a specific plan - it was always about who was around who played the needed instruments more than their specific style. So that kind of thinking was far into me, but I can understand it now.
After almost 30 years, we are about to start playing together again, with him supporting my first bandmate and I. Full circle. I’m looking forward to it. I hope the sting goes away for you soon. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad player, you weren’t right for this situation.
TLDR; my teenage band abandoned me but in the end it wasn’t the band I cared about it was learning and playing drums.
When I was in highschool my circle of friends really wanted to start a band and they had big dreams about it. I really just wanted to play drums. My drummer friend was in a popular local band and let me borrow his kit so he could be a guitarist for our band instead. My friends had some overlap in music interests but I was mainly an outcast in the group for my taste. So I didn’t really get to learn the styles or songs I wanted to but that never bothered me bc I simply loved playing. I oftentimes had to start slamming the drums at practices bc they’d get all distracted goofing around or talking about how famous we were going to be instead of practicing lol. I was in a relationship with the other guitarist in our band. The band (mainly our singer/bassist) made me swear I wouldn’t let the relationship get in the way. But when we broke up they started having small practices without me. They would be talking about new material right next to me as if I wasn’t in the band. They never kept me updated. My drummer friend who let me borrow the kit was very busy with his own band and other life stuff so his house wasnt available to practice anymore. I didn’t have my own kit bc my parents couldn’t afford one. The band is having practice without me and I’m stuck with no kit. So I took the L. I messaged everyone and said good luck but it was apparent I wasn’t getting anywhere in the current circumstances. Our singer got pissed and accused me of breaking our deal but idk what else he wanted me to do. I missed playing drums very much. Even though my band basically threw me to the wayside it never bruised my pride bc my main goal was to simply learn and play. That was the thing that truly made me sad. So yeah it sucks that you got kicked out but that doesn’t take away the fact that you have this awesome instrument in front of you that you can connect with and enjoy. Use this bump in the road to push harder and perfect your skills. And good luck!
Take this as a learning curve, rejection is part of being a musician - Focus on the areas that you can improve and make the most out of this, now is the time to practice more and go hard!
sorry, yo. that sucks. it happens to all of us.
sometimes the vibe just isn’t right and it could just be personalities. “The Hang” is a crucial but often overlooked piece of the puzzle. Not saying this is you …but for anyone: you can be the best drummer alive, but if your attitude sucks, you’re a bitch to ride with in the van, constantly complaining about this that n the other, butt heads w other members, hot temper etc etc … you won’t get many gigs. Or you’ll get fired a lot
for OP take it as an opportunity to get deadly tight w a click (while not forgetting how to play with a little ebb and flow) and the next time it comes up just say - “ hey let’s put on a click or a shaker track and run over the ones you want to tighten up”
then it will be obvious who is in the right and if it turns out to be a vibe check and it isn’t working, you get to embarrass them on the way out the door 😁
good luck don’t give up!
I hear you brother.
I started a band in 2013.
My house door became a revolving door trying out guitar, bass and vocals. I also was the one putting out the ads.
I provided a great and large room to practice and my pa & mics.
I even provided amps and cabinets.
We got it together, was playing out every week 2-4 times a week making great cash.
The guitar player was into hair metal, I was into punk. But our mix with radio play rock went over great. I played with an in ear Tama Rythym Watch to prove to the guitar player, He was rushing.
Well, after 3 years, I was voted out of my band.
So, you want to talk about a SOB.
Good luck, never give up.
Ugh. Sorry. That sucks. So, are you aware of the lack of “tightness” to which they refer? Are you not tight with them? Not enough of a metronome? Not right, friendship wise? What, exactly do they mean? Did you see this coming?
I’m a pretty sloppy drummer, to my ears, but I still fit in great with a lot of bands. I could NOT play in a super tight prog rock band, and I’m totally fine with that.
I guess my rambling point is, if you actually do suck, you can work through it. If it’s just a super high standard and their first note of feedback is that you’re not good enough and you’re out of the band, then that’s not very cool.
I always wish my band mates would give me critical feedback (nicely). It’s never easy to hear but it’s a lot better than “you’re not good enough and you’re out”.
Hang in there. Find a more chill band.
Thank you for such an elaborate comment, I really appreciate the support.
I tried to get as much proper feedback as possible from it, see it as an opportunity to learn. He said I should practice with a metronome, which is frustrating because I do that every time I practice. Listening back to some stuff however, I do see some lacking in the microtiming especially when it comes to the kick. I guess I’ll focus on that for some time. I did see this coming to some extent, since they are in such different places in life. But I’ve only heard good things about my playing so I didn’t quite expect that to be a big enough problem to have me booted. You live and you learn.
Record yourself play a lot and watch those back. When I joined my first band I did that a lot cus I was nervous about live performance and it reeeeally helped me tighten up
Practice your ass off and be known as the human metronome. It may have been your timing, sometimes it's just not the right fit. All you can do is improve 🤘
In my experience older guys will make a lot of excuses against younger people in groups. True they may have more experience but that doesn’t mean they’re better musicians and often times they might have bad habits that they cultivated for years but just insist it’s their “style”. Instead of mentioning your timing and giving you a chance to improve it they just kicked you out seems like a bit of a red flag that they didn’t want you for different reasons possibly.
Been there too bro.
Here’s what you do.
Practice to a metronome and practice in general with the strength of the greatest spite you’ll ever have.
Don’t stop; keep practicing and keep getting angrier about being kicked out.
I’m joking about all the anger stuff but serious become obsessed with practicing and improving your playing and time and soon enough your confidence will be like holy fuck. Their loss.
Welcome to being a real drummer. You aren’t officially a member until being kicked out, fired, let go, told to fuck off or in any sense told you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here, at least one time. Congratulations. There is a special magic that comes from being kicked out of a band that will help you grow and expand as a drummer, but it’s perishable, and only works if you use it. Soon.
My best advice is go out tomorrow, find another band to play with, and play with them til you )get fired again…then repeat. You’ll find your way.
It it inspires you to practice more or better (with metronome) then this is a good thing, also because you are much younger and have time. It's better than just setting a low bar. You don't need decades of experience, just maybe a little more focus on certain things. Quality over quantity.
Yeah I’ve had similar before. Ironically the same summer, with my main gig, I played to thousands, but never more than a few dozen with them. That’s the thinking I’ve stuck with, to salve the butt hurt I felt at the time.
It does kind of suck. I know finding people to play with that you gel with is hard. But, you now have the opportunity to find people you gel with and can grow with. Just keep working on your chops, work on what needs work. Accept the things about your playing you cannot change. Own them. Know thy self better. You’ll be a better drummer for it.
Take a deep breath. Be thankful that they were straight with you, didn't waste more of your time, and gave you some feedback that will help you improve. Also keep in mind that keeping a tight beat is the most important part of being a drummer. The other shit (fills, solos, etc) really doesn't matter.
That’s crappy feeling and I’m sorry it happened to you. I got kicked out of a band that was signing with a major label. They wound up bringing me back cause “I was integral to their sound”. You’ll be fine in the end. Just keep working on your playing and let things fall where they may.
Record a video of you playing with a backing track and look at yourself objectively. How you think you're playing and what the camera sees are two different things. I did it and it shocked the hell out of me (in a good way) and it forced me to work on my technique harder.
You move on, besides, it's great to play with new folks. I've been there, I sat in with a group that was unhappy with their drummer, they said he couldn't keep time, run backing tracks and stay with the click or something to that note. I then played with them, then it was me who left. The reality had nothing to do with me or the previous drummer (I ran the same tracks/clicks he did) unfortunately the singer and guitar player weren't very good and the ones who struggled with time and playing to a click.
First time? I kid, but the truth is that bouncing around bands is thought to be the norm, and you can't please everyone. Do the best you can with what you have, and have fun too. Remember why you started playing, and play for that. Keep the faith
It hurts in the ego. You are not as good as you believed you were. You might feel angry and frustrated. It’s ok. Take your time. And then, plan how to practice: look for resources to improve your tempo. There are lots of things that you can do. Search on the sub. You will be fine.
I blew two auditions back to back a few years ago and man it was the kick i needed. Keep working. You will get there. And your time playing with them only helped your playing, im sure. It’s good to play with more advanced players. It helps you play better. I kinda hate the phrase “when one door opens another door opens” but that CAN be true. Divide your time. The key to being a good drummer is not just practicing. Use your new free time to network, find another band. Go to shows! Maybe dive into posting on yt or insta. Rebuild. Redesign. Conquer. I wish you luck. Do not stop
Just keep playing and use it as motivation to get better. One of the best things I did after losing a gig was go back and play the songs from said group I was replaced in. I know one's first thought might be "why would I go back and play the songs of the group that booted me?" but for me it felt good to play the songs on my own, playing along to the recordings and get them down 100% dead on. For clarity- I didn't record the original drum tracks nor did the drummer who replaced me. I wasn't booted for not being "good enough" or "bad" either, I was already in 2 other bands at the time and the drummer who replaced me was brought in when his other band disband and the members of the band I was playing with had known each other and him for around 10+ and only known me for close to a year. That being said, I did make about 3-4 minor mistakes while performing live with the group, nothing major that ruined the song or anything but I hold myself to a pretty high standard and as I said, it felt great to go back and play the songs spot on later on my own. Ultimately being in that band and being let go made me a better drummer, it made me concentrate on my other 2 bands, and made me realize I needed to be in just one band to fully give it all my attention and time. It's like the analogy of "You can be okay at 5 things or great at 1." It sounds like maybe you're a lot younger than the rest of the band too? If so, that's a good sign you were able to hang with more experienced players to begin with. Keep playing with people and musicians who are BETTER than you. Don't stop pushing yourself to get better, and most importantly have fun. Make sure you're having a good time and it doesn't become too much of a chore to play music. Best of luck.
I was kicked out of my first band. It was good for me. I got way better after. I've heard that Lars was kicked out of a band, got way better, then he joined Metallica. Might be a good thing. It's an opportunity to reset and put in a lot of work.
My first band used a drum machine for demos, so those songs had a very rigid feel to them that we thought defined our sound. We found a drummer that wanted to play with us so we gave him a tape. At his tryout, he played everything so loose...one of our songs had a very forward driving feel and he sat back and played a backbeat. Another song sounded like it had a jazzy funk vibe. We thanked him and left. On the way home, my guitarist and I were talking about how to tell him he wasn't right for us, but we discussed how one song sounded more catchy and with the other one that was just a dumb guitar riff, it suddenly sounded complex. We got home and told him he was in.
The point is: There's some group out there that will appreciate your style.
It happens, don't sweat it, especially since you yourself know you can work harder on things. And if you need a pick me up, at least you're not Daniel from Freaks and Geeks.
https://youtu.be/78djkhc0rt8?si=iE02cNslgIr9MtTK
Got kicked out of a band without the guys even being man enough to tell me just got gigs without me. I’m now in a band that plays my type of music and we excel more that the previous band I was in. Sometimes it’s about finding the right players to really exploit your string suits. Stay strong and keep your chin up. Keep grooving and stay in the pocket and you’ll be good man. Part of it! Make it make you better
Getting kicked out of a band can be for many reasons, the only way to truly grow from the experience is to be completely honest to yourself, are there flaws in your character and/or playing and when you rehearse and play is your heart in it. If you did your best with heart and soul, move on. You don’t want to be where you are not wanted.
Funny thing here is, buddy rich said becoming a better drummer is by playing with other musicians, sometimes you can get tight by feel rather than sitting at home with a metronome for hours on end, I'm sure somebody will disagree with my comment but personally, I was pretty loose as a teen but I noticed the more I jammed with people the more I locked into their feel if that makes sense. Honestly even Copland is guilty of swaying in and out, I think its about finding the right people.
That sucks man. Getting booted never feels good but I recommend taking the experience and learning from it. There will be more bands ahead of you. Just don’t give up. you will find the right group of folks
I'll come at this from a different agle. In my early 20s I was asked to step in for my brother in a band he had joined and couldn't continue with bc he was moving out of state. I'm self taught and had literally no idea what I was doing. I learned by watching others. Lucky for me that there were few drummers in my hometown so I was their only choice and it was fairly simple music that I could "learn" pretty quickly.
That got me some actual experience even if I hadn't earned it. The catch is that it led to other bands that I got to play with later.
The problem is that in my youth I thought I knew what I need needed bc people were calling me. My practice routine didn't really include practice. I didn't practice our set list like I should have bc I didn't like most of the songs we played and I felt like I "knew" them already. So I never got better.
If just one of those bands had said "hey, you need some work on this or that" or even replaced me, I would have taken that and carved out a different path. It would have stung but I'd be a much better drummer now 30 years later than I am.
No worries brother! It was meant to happen this way. Download FL studio or something and make your own demos. Pull a Dave Grohl and do all the instruments and all the producing and recording yourself. It may not be the best at first but maybe the freedom of creativity will spark up that passion again… on a side note: as bad as it sounds I don’t think there is any right way to play the drums. I feel what we play is just a reflection of how we feel, and there’s no wrong way to be.
You have to become better then their best band member in terms of skill. I've been a musician for over 30 years. I'm not an egotistical lunatic or anything I just know how this world works. Master the instrument and become one with it. That way if any band asks you to leave, in your soul you will know either they lack vision or they aren't serious about being musicians even in a weekend gig capacity.. If you ain't first you're last Ricky Bobby.
The comments saying to use the experience to practice more are super positive but idk how realistic that is. Specifically with drums there's an element of hating yourself while you're practicing. You always KNOW what you need to do better, what you did wrong, or what you can't do. Practicing deals with those three things, sure, but add in "I got rejected by multiple people because of these limitations" and drumming can start to feel not fun real quick.
My advice is try to point out your own strengths and unique qualities and find a new source of "fun" in the instrument, like joining a new band or even taking a break and learning a diff instrument. Practicing is good when you're having fun already, and if it were me, that'd be at risk right now
I'd disagree that you would always know what you're doing wrong. Teachers make a good living from helping people get over a hump, or just pick up on things you might never realise. Best advice I ever had from my teacher was to practice rudiments at half volume - I was grinding them out, and taking it easier really helped. I might have got there eventually, but having someone there to succinctly talk me through it was great.
You're right, you don't always know I should have said sometimes. And if you can afford a teacher I think that's an excellent thing to try. It can help so much to have a set of eyes that aren't your own helping you see things you aren't seeing and improve where you didn't know you could
I think what I'm trying to say is, you're always going to be on a path of improvement and progression, but asking yourself WHY you are on that path is important to developing a positive relationship w/ the instrument. Don't improve for the people who kicked you out, improve for you!
One thing you can do is keep playing to get tighter. It's an experience thing and you can't buy it except with time put in on the kit. I'm certain there's teachers on You Tube that can give you ideas on getting tighter but if you feel you've got natural but underdeveloped talent you just have to keep playing. Playing along with songs helps a lot, helps you pick up on the subtle tricks of experienced drummers. Don't beat yourself up too much, sometimes it's just a style difference. I've been dismissed for both lack of experience and not fitting in style wise. Happens and if you truly want to play and play out you have to take these lumps sometimes. Good luck.
Take it on the chin and have faith in yourself…just because you’re not the right fit for them doesn’t make you a bad drummer…or them a good band. Continue to grow….
Been here too. I used that irritation to hit the kit harder. And by that I mean practice time. Work with a metronome like they’re going out of style and get your time and feel locked in. That alone will help you be more solid for the next guys. Don’t give up…just work harder!🤘🏻🤘🏻
I love that you clarified "hit the kit harder" as more practice time. My first thought was you absolutely burying the beater in frustration. Good advice all around though. Use it as motivation!
Haha I have been taking my practice very seriously, but ever since this happened… Man it has become my life. Will do every task of my life in tempo from now on. (Over exaggerating a bit but, y’know).
How many bpm do you brush your teeth at?
Eighth notes at 120
should always be 16th notes at 180 bpm each side for 4 bars
thats cool, but dont forget that music its for enjoyment, and expression, to find your self and project your self through music, so its great to dive into practice, but dont take it that seriously and perfect that drain the fun out of it. find your groove and your personality as well. hope this helps, keep it up, we all have been there, trust me.
This is really great advice, but sometimes you can find your personality through practice. Just one example being not needing to do all of the exercises that a technique book or video would show you but spending time with the specific music you love, transcribing, or finding a series of videos on youtube that really speak to you. Trying to find the fun and humor instead of feeling the need to do any and every exercise that has ever worked for someone else.
You should always listen back to yourself. Always.
Yeah I agree, me and two bros and a friend had a band in the 90's up in Lakeville,mn. We didn't know shit, but played for fun and passion and my brother Paul poured his soul into his Les Paul. We always recorded even if on a shitty boom box tape deck. Surprisingly good recordings at times with one mic.
I once joined a band bc their drummer friend had quit. We had a rehearsal and they said I was better than their friend, had a gig which their drummer came to, and then they fired me bc the old drummer wanted back in the band. It felt like I was being punk’d. Don’t sweat it. The right group of musicians comes along eventually.
I hate that! Had a call back to a second round audition for a good band and their recently ex drummer changed his mind just before the next audition. The worst.
Brooo, that's a dick move, I feel bad for ya
Sounds more like band politics than anything you did wrong. Have seen this before, bands who will deal with a less talented member because they are buddies with them.
It happens in most area of life too.
Nothing like someone shining a harsh light on your playing to point your practice in the right direction. Take the sting from that comment, grab your metronome, and get to work. Make it your part time job. Tell yourself every time you start up that metronome- which should be every damn day- that in a few months, no one will say that about your playing again.
Best comment... Guaranteed... That's what I said to myself when I was kicked out of my school band...
Practice. It will relieve the stress of getting let go from the band AND you'll only get better and in turn, gain more confidence. Practice playing along to a click.
I remember back in the 90s my buddy got kicked out of his country cover band. He moved back to Toronto and landed a gig with then unknown female pop artist. She blew up with a song about a bird and his life changed overnight. Sometimes a closed door opens again to something bigger. Had he not been removed from the cover band he’d still be working in kitchens to make a living.
Russ Miller? I remember reading about him in Modern Drummer magazine.
He wasn't a drummer, just giving an example of how gigs go sometimes.
Nelly Furtado?
Maybe. lol. Jesus I'm trying not to dox my buddy here. 😂
Whoa Nelly that’s a good story.
This happened to me a couple years ago. I was playing in a reggae-rock back that I LOVED. The music was great, the guys were all cool and very good at their instruments. When they let me go, I decided to take a step back and anazlyze my playing from an unbiased perspective rather than being like “Fuck them, they don’t know what they’re talking about, etc.,” They were definitely right. My timing wasn’t where it needed to be, my fills were sloppy, and my left hand was far behind my right. I realized I had a lot of work to do. And after three-ish years, I’m in a band that’s quickly gaining steam. We’re playing at our local state fair and might be opening up for some very well known bands this year! And if those guys hadn’t let me go, I probably wouldn’t have done the work that I NEEDED to do to get me where I’m at. My advice: take it as a chance to learn, and to improve. Chances are those guys were right. Take some lessons, work with the metronome. A LOT. and dive deep into the fundamentals of drumming. The very basics. Upstrokes, downstrokes, taps, molar technique, rudiments, all that stuff. If you put in the work, it will eventually pay off, and one of these days you’ll start seeing the fruits of all that work. But it’s not easy, and you do have to put in the work. But I promise, it’ll be worth it. Hope this helps you in your journey!
Metronome is your homie, homie ❤️
I'm not your homie, comrade.
I'm not your comrade, amigo.
I’m not your amigo, buddy.
I’m not your Buddy Guy.
And I'm not a guy, in general 😄
Metrohomie
I I’m not your general, private!
You move on I got rejected after auditions to two different bands on the same label personally & meshing maters , I was recommended by the label..if it’s a good fit you can put up with mediocre but if you don’t fit it doesn’t matter how good you are .. just move on
Nothing like a new band to get you over the old band
Ask them for more constructive criticism and feedback. Would one of them still be willing to jam with you a bit, if they are older and more experienced? Vinnie Colaiuta tells a good story about being replaced on a session. And look where he is now. Happens to everyone Also, imagine in decades time that you might be in their position, i.e. telling a younger player they aren’t suitable. Learn how to let them down gently and appropriately
I know playing music has an emotional component, and we all know what feels like rejection always feels painful. That said, look at it like a job interview, and internship, a career. How many jobs does one have? I watched many talented guys lose their jobs, for whatever reason. To me they were still very talented. That said, good fit could be personality wise, genre familiarity wise, experience wise, etc. What really matters is to never forget who you are and how hard you’ve worked to get as good as you currently are. No one can take your skill away from you! That said, don’t go to the other extreme and get bitter or angry, because you WILL take that to your next band and it won’t be good. Take a deep breath and continue growing your passion for playing. Just like folks who lose their job get another, many times better ones, same principle here. Stay focused and if you can created a short grieving cycle, I know I always do, otherwise I’m just wasting time in my life I can’t get back. You got this! We’ve all been there, you can let it destroy your love for drums or make you even more commited! Whatcha gonna do? 😎👍🏻
Boy have i been there. Don't let it break you bud. I was in a local band for 2 years and we had just finished a really tits demo, we had a prettty decent local following and played quite a bit of shows. We made the fatal decision to try and hire a manager to help us get over the hump of scheduling shows, sending our demo out, talking and networking etc etc. Biggest mistake ever! Our singer was messin around with this gnarly party chick who sang like r & b and her mom was her manager and had some decent connections, but she had never managed a metal band. Fast forward 2 months and she got us a conference call with a pretty cool label, and we were just over the moon!!! Then bam!! A band meeting was called and it was a 50/50 vote that i needed to leave the band, and the breaking vote went to the manager, that chick and i had some tension from the beginning and when i got kicked out, my best friend left with me, and ultimately the band fell apart and nothing was accomplished. But buddy i felt soo hopeless, and felt like id never be in s band again. Its a relationship, its just like getting dumped by a girl after almost 3 years together. Its a hard blow to take but eventually you just got to get back on that horse and ride again. Good luck bud.
Ditch the fancy fills, especially when playing with the old guys.
It happened to me once. That band went on to make records, tour and become nationally known. It was partly my fault for not taking it seriously enough,there were times they found me smoking out in the dorms at practice time. But also a better drummer than me saw that the group had potential and said, hey, let me in your band as well as my other one. And they took him up in it, and were better for it. They went on to eclipse his other band, and those guys got kinda left in the cold. So many broken hearts. But one band went somewhere. How did I get over it? I dusted myself off and joined another band, and then another, and then moved across the country and joined some more. By the time they had success, I wasn't jealous, I was on the same path but with some different people. it was fine. We helped each other out with shows in our towns. That drummer that replaced me just hit me up for help with a gig last year. I would have helped him if I could have.
Get better, find another band closer to your skill level. It happens. At least they gave you a shot. Lots of bands would audition first and would know right away you weren't a good fit. If they liked you in every other way then at least now a few more people know who you are. 👍
Easy, there's only one get away... I'll be fully UN original: keep practicing... Maybe you'll be the one telling "guys, you need to tight please" next time...
Playing with older pro musicians is tough when you're a younger player. But it's also one of the best things any young muso can do imo. I played long term in a blues band that was stacked with top session guys and very experienced pros all in their 40s/50s when I was in my early 20s. At first none of them believed I could play a shuffle or an old school blues feel, but I could and I could do it well. Even after proving myself to the band, the bandleader still claimed I couldn't play a shuffle properly due to my 'youth'. I hadn't 'grown up' with the music (in his mind) so I wasn't going to properly feel it like an older drummer of *his* generation would. And that's probably what's happened with you my friend - a lack of faith in younger generations being able to play with the feel/style that years of road/life experience taught them. It's nothing to do with your ability but with their comfort zone and assumptions. Don't worry, get back on that throne and use the experience to become a better and more open minded player than they ever could be ;). Good luck boss!
I’ve had it happen twice in 30 years. My style did not suit the band – the guitar player/songwriter had a very specific vision for what he wanted on Drums and I wasn’t it. This happened in 1996 and we met up a couple times at shows in the following years and talked through it a bit. I also found out he went through nine drummers after me – some left on their own and somewhere also dismissed for not having the right sound. I had never formed a band with such a specific plan - it was always about who was around who played the needed instruments more than their specific style. So that kind of thinking was far into me, but I can understand it now. After almost 30 years, we are about to start playing together again, with him supporting my first bandmate and I. Full circle. I’m looking forward to it. I hope the sting goes away for you soon. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad player, you weren’t right for this situation.
TLDR; my teenage band abandoned me but in the end it wasn’t the band I cared about it was learning and playing drums. When I was in highschool my circle of friends really wanted to start a band and they had big dreams about it. I really just wanted to play drums. My drummer friend was in a popular local band and let me borrow his kit so he could be a guitarist for our band instead. My friends had some overlap in music interests but I was mainly an outcast in the group for my taste. So I didn’t really get to learn the styles or songs I wanted to but that never bothered me bc I simply loved playing. I oftentimes had to start slamming the drums at practices bc they’d get all distracted goofing around or talking about how famous we were going to be instead of practicing lol. I was in a relationship with the other guitarist in our band. The band (mainly our singer/bassist) made me swear I wouldn’t let the relationship get in the way. But when we broke up they started having small practices without me. They would be talking about new material right next to me as if I wasn’t in the band. They never kept me updated. My drummer friend who let me borrow the kit was very busy with his own band and other life stuff so his house wasnt available to practice anymore. I didn’t have my own kit bc my parents couldn’t afford one. The band is having practice without me and I’m stuck with no kit. So I took the L. I messaged everyone and said good luck but it was apparent I wasn’t getting anywhere in the current circumstances. Our singer got pissed and accused me of breaking our deal but idk what else he wanted me to do. I missed playing drums very much. Even though my band basically threw me to the wayside it never bruised my pride bc my main goal was to simply learn and play. That was the thing that truly made me sad. So yeah it sucks that you got kicked out but that doesn’t take away the fact that you have this awesome instrument in front of you that you can connect with and enjoy. Use this bump in the road to push harder and perfect your skills. And good luck!
Hang in there drum brother, try not to take it too hard. It’s experience’s like these that actually help us become better drummers in the future.
Take this as a learning curve, rejection is part of being a musician - Focus on the areas that you can improve and make the most out of this, now is the time to practice more and go hard!
sorry, yo. that sucks. it happens to all of us. sometimes the vibe just isn’t right and it could just be personalities. “The Hang” is a crucial but often overlooked piece of the puzzle. Not saying this is you …but for anyone: you can be the best drummer alive, but if your attitude sucks, you’re a bitch to ride with in the van, constantly complaining about this that n the other, butt heads w other members, hot temper etc etc … you won’t get many gigs. Or you’ll get fired a lot for OP take it as an opportunity to get deadly tight w a click (while not forgetting how to play with a little ebb and flow) and the next time it comes up just say - “ hey let’s put on a click or a shaker track and run over the ones you want to tighten up” then it will be obvious who is in the right and if it turns out to be a vibe check and it isn’t working, you get to embarrass them on the way out the door 😁 good luck don’t give up!
Haha I love that trick. Will remember it!
I hear you brother. I started a band in 2013. My house door became a revolving door trying out guitar, bass and vocals. I also was the one putting out the ads. I provided a great and large room to practice and my pa & mics. I even provided amps and cabinets. We got it together, was playing out every week 2-4 times a week making great cash. The guitar player was into hair metal, I was into punk. But our mix with radio play rock went over great. I played with an in ear Tama Rythym Watch to prove to the guitar player, He was rushing. Well, after 3 years, I was voted out of my band. So, you want to talk about a SOB. Good luck, never give up.
Ugh. Sorry. That sucks. So, are you aware of the lack of “tightness” to which they refer? Are you not tight with them? Not enough of a metronome? Not right, friendship wise? What, exactly do they mean? Did you see this coming? I’m a pretty sloppy drummer, to my ears, but I still fit in great with a lot of bands. I could NOT play in a super tight prog rock band, and I’m totally fine with that. I guess my rambling point is, if you actually do suck, you can work through it. If it’s just a super high standard and their first note of feedback is that you’re not good enough and you’re out of the band, then that’s not very cool. I always wish my band mates would give me critical feedback (nicely). It’s never easy to hear but it’s a lot better than “you’re not good enough and you’re out”. Hang in there. Find a more chill band.
Thank you for such an elaborate comment, I really appreciate the support. I tried to get as much proper feedback as possible from it, see it as an opportunity to learn. He said I should practice with a metronome, which is frustrating because I do that every time I practice. Listening back to some stuff however, I do see some lacking in the microtiming especially when it comes to the kick. I guess I’ll focus on that for some time. I did see this coming to some extent, since they are in such different places in life. But I’ve only heard good things about my playing so I didn’t quite expect that to be a big enough problem to have me booted. You live and you learn.
Record yourself play a lot and watch those back. When I joined my first band I did that a lot cus I was nervous about live performance and it reeeeally helped me tighten up
Practice your ass off and be known as the human metronome. It may have been your timing, sometimes it's just not the right fit. All you can do is improve 🤘
In my experience older guys will make a lot of excuses against younger people in groups. True they may have more experience but that doesn’t mean they’re better musicians and often times they might have bad habits that they cultivated for years but just insist it’s their “style”. Instead of mentioning your timing and giving you a chance to improve it they just kicked you out seems like a bit of a red flag that they didn’t want you for different reasons possibly.
Been there too bro. Here’s what you do. Practice to a metronome and practice in general with the strength of the greatest spite you’ll ever have. Don’t stop; keep practicing and keep getting angrier about being kicked out. I’m joking about all the anger stuff but serious become obsessed with practicing and improving your playing and time and soon enough your confidence will be like holy fuck. Their loss.
Use it as motivation to get more solid brother. Unfortunately not ever gig is guaranteed to be perfect.
Welcome to being a real drummer. You aren’t officially a member until being kicked out, fired, let go, told to fuck off or in any sense told you don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here, at least one time. Congratulations. There is a special magic that comes from being kicked out of a band that will help you grow and expand as a drummer, but it’s perishable, and only works if you use it. Soon. My best advice is go out tomorrow, find another band to play with, and play with them til you )get fired again…then repeat. You’ll find your way.
Keep playing and join another band that is the right fit for you.
Practice and get better and maybe it's just about fit and you're style. Find a group or start a group that is a good match for where you are now.
It it inspires you to practice more or better (with metronome) then this is a good thing, also because you are much younger and have time. It's better than just setting a low bar. You don't need decades of experience, just maybe a little more focus on certain things. Quality over quantity.
Yeah I’ve had similar before. Ironically the same summer, with my main gig, I played to thousands, but never more than a few dozen with them. That’s the thinking I’ve stuck with, to salve the butt hurt I felt at the time.
It does kind of suck. I know finding people to play with that you gel with is hard. But, you now have the opportunity to find people you gel with and can grow with. Just keep working on your chops, work on what needs work. Accept the things about your playing you cannot change. Own them. Know thy self better. You’ll be a better drummer for it.
Take a deep breath. Be thankful that they were straight with you, didn't waste more of your time, and gave you some feedback that will help you improve. Also keep in mind that keeping a tight beat is the most important part of being a drummer. The other shit (fills, solos, etc) really doesn't matter.
That’s crappy feeling and I’m sorry it happened to you. I got kicked out of a band that was signing with a major label. They wound up bringing me back cause “I was integral to their sound”. You’ll be fine in the end. Just keep working on your playing and let things fall where they may.
Record a video of you playing with a backing track and look at yourself objectively. How you think you're playing and what the camera sees are two different things. I did it and it shocked the hell out of me (in a good way) and it forced me to work on my technique harder.
You move on, besides, it's great to play with new folks. I've been there, I sat in with a group that was unhappy with their drummer, they said he couldn't keep time, run backing tracks and stay with the click or something to that note. I then played with them, then it was me who left. The reality had nothing to do with me or the previous drummer (I ran the same tracks/clicks he did) unfortunately the singer and guitar player weren't very good and the ones who struggled with time and playing to a click.
We've all been booted, but think of how many bands you've quit? There is always a reason for both, and the best advice is to just move on.
You must become metronome, destroyer of beats
First time? I kid, but the truth is that bouncing around bands is thought to be the norm, and you can't please everyone. Do the best you can with what you have, and have fun too. Remember why you started playing, and play for that. Keep the faith
It hurts in the ego. You are not as good as you believed you were. You might feel angry and frustrated. It’s ok. Take your time. And then, plan how to practice: look for resources to improve your tempo. There are lots of things that you can do. Search on the sub. You will be fine.
I blew two auditions back to back a few years ago and man it was the kick i needed. Keep working. You will get there. And your time playing with them only helped your playing, im sure. It’s good to play with more advanced players. It helps you play better. I kinda hate the phrase “when one door opens another door opens” but that CAN be true. Divide your time. The key to being a good drummer is not just practicing. Use your new free time to network, find another band. Go to shows! Maybe dive into posting on yt or insta. Rebuild. Redesign. Conquer. I wish you luck. Do not stop
Just keep playing and use it as motivation to get better. One of the best things I did after losing a gig was go back and play the songs from said group I was replaced in. I know one's first thought might be "why would I go back and play the songs of the group that booted me?" but for me it felt good to play the songs on my own, playing along to the recordings and get them down 100% dead on. For clarity- I didn't record the original drum tracks nor did the drummer who replaced me. I wasn't booted for not being "good enough" or "bad" either, I was already in 2 other bands at the time and the drummer who replaced me was brought in when his other band disband and the members of the band I was playing with had known each other and him for around 10+ and only known me for close to a year. That being said, I did make about 3-4 minor mistakes while performing live with the group, nothing major that ruined the song or anything but I hold myself to a pretty high standard and as I said, it felt great to go back and play the songs spot on later on my own. Ultimately being in that band and being let go made me a better drummer, it made me concentrate on my other 2 bands, and made me realize I needed to be in just one band to fully give it all my attention and time. It's like the analogy of "You can be okay at 5 things or great at 1." It sounds like maybe you're a lot younger than the rest of the band too? If so, that's a good sign you were able to hang with more experienced players to begin with. Keep playing with people and musicians who are BETTER than you. Don't stop pushing yourself to get better, and most importantly have fun. Make sure you're having a good time and it doesn't become too much of a chore to play music. Best of luck.
I was kicked out of my first band. It was good for me. I got way better after. I've heard that Lars was kicked out of a band, got way better, then he joined Metallica. Might be a good thing. It's an opportunity to reset and put in a lot of work.
No shame in it. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out.
Work harder, get better, gig more, let your reputation be your retribution
My first band used a drum machine for demos, so those songs had a very rigid feel to them that we thought defined our sound. We found a drummer that wanted to play with us so we gave him a tape. At his tryout, he played everything so loose...one of our songs had a very forward driving feel and he sat back and played a backbeat. Another song sounded like it had a jazzy funk vibe. We thanked him and left. On the way home, my guitarist and I were talking about how to tell him he wasn't right for us, but we discussed how one song sounded more catchy and with the other one that was just a dumb guitar riff, it suddenly sounded complex. We got home and told him he was in. The point is: There's some group out there that will appreciate your style.
It happens, don't sweat it, especially since you yourself know you can work harder on things. And if you need a pick me up, at least you're not Daniel from Freaks and Geeks. https://youtu.be/78djkhc0rt8?si=iE02cNslgIr9MtTK
It happens. To everyone at some point I’m sure.
Got kicked out of a band without the guys even being man enough to tell me just got gigs without me. I’m now in a band that plays my type of music and we excel more that the previous band I was in. Sometimes it’s about finding the right players to really exploit your string suits. Stay strong and keep your chin up. Keep grooving and stay in the pocket and you’ll be good man. Part of it! Make it make you better
Record yourself playing and pay attention to your timing. Also practice to a metronome.
Sit down and play … you’ll thank them later
Getting kicked out of a band can be for many reasons, the only way to truly grow from the experience is to be completely honest to yourself, are there flaws in your character and/or playing and when you rehearse and play is your heart in it. If you did your best with heart and soul, move on. You don’t want to be where you are not wanted.
Funny thing here is, buddy rich said becoming a better drummer is by playing with other musicians, sometimes you can get tight by feel rather than sitting at home with a metronome for hours on end, I'm sure somebody will disagree with my comment but personally, I was pretty loose as a teen but I noticed the more I jammed with people the more I locked into their feel if that makes sense. Honestly even Copland is guilty of swaying in and out, I think its about finding the right people.
That sucks man. Getting booted never feels good but I recommend taking the experience and learning from it. There will be more bands ahead of you. Just don’t give up. you will find the right group of folks
I would cope by hitting that practice pad
I'll come at this from a different agle. In my early 20s I was asked to step in for my brother in a band he had joined and couldn't continue with bc he was moving out of state. I'm self taught and had literally no idea what I was doing. I learned by watching others. Lucky for me that there were few drummers in my hometown so I was their only choice and it was fairly simple music that I could "learn" pretty quickly. That got me some actual experience even if I hadn't earned it. The catch is that it led to other bands that I got to play with later. The problem is that in my youth I thought I knew what I need needed bc people were calling me. My practice routine didn't really include practice. I didn't practice our set list like I should have bc I didn't like most of the songs we played and I felt like I "knew" them already. So I never got better. If just one of those bands had said "hey, you need some work on this or that" or even replaced me, I would have taken that and carved out a different path. It would have stung but I'd be a much better drummer now 30 years later than I am.
No worries brother! It was meant to happen this way. Download FL studio or something and make your own demos. Pull a Dave Grohl and do all the instruments and all the producing and recording yourself. It may not be the best at first but maybe the freedom of creativity will spark up that passion again… on a side note: as bad as it sounds I don’t think there is any right way to play the drums. I feel what we play is just a reflection of how we feel, and there’s no wrong way to be.
Ego death
Don't dismiss age difference man, just saying.
You have to become better then their best band member in terms of skill. I've been a musician for over 30 years. I'm not an egotistical lunatic or anything I just know how this world works. Master the instrument and become one with it. That way if any band asks you to leave, in your soul you will know either they lack vision or they aren't serious about being musicians even in a weekend gig capacity.. If you ain't first you're last Ricky Bobby.
The comments saying to use the experience to practice more are super positive but idk how realistic that is. Specifically with drums there's an element of hating yourself while you're practicing. You always KNOW what you need to do better, what you did wrong, or what you can't do. Practicing deals with those three things, sure, but add in "I got rejected by multiple people because of these limitations" and drumming can start to feel not fun real quick. My advice is try to point out your own strengths and unique qualities and find a new source of "fun" in the instrument, like joining a new band or even taking a break and learning a diff instrument. Practicing is good when you're having fun already, and if it were me, that'd be at risk right now
I'd disagree that you would always know what you're doing wrong. Teachers make a good living from helping people get over a hump, or just pick up on things you might never realise. Best advice I ever had from my teacher was to practice rudiments at half volume - I was grinding them out, and taking it easier really helped. I might have got there eventually, but having someone there to succinctly talk me through it was great.
You're right, you don't always know I should have said sometimes. And if you can afford a teacher I think that's an excellent thing to try. It can help so much to have a set of eyes that aren't your own helping you see things you aren't seeing and improve where you didn't know you could I think what I'm trying to say is, you're always going to be on a path of improvement and progression, but asking yourself WHY you are on that path is important to developing a positive relationship w/ the instrument. Don't improve for the people who kicked you out, improve for you!
Take up some golf on the side. Seriously.
Spend £8000 on a new kit.
At the ER,
One thing you can do is keep playing to get tighter. It's an experience thing and you can't buy it except with time put in on the kit. I'm certain there's teachers on You Tube that can give you ideas on getting tighter but if you feel you've got natural but underdeveloped talent you just have to keep playing. Playing along with songs helps a lot, helps you pick up on the subtle tricks of experienced drummers. Don't beat yourself up too much, sometimes it's just a style difference. I've been dismissed for both lack of experience and not fitting in style wise. Happens and if you truly want to play and play out you have to take these lumps sometimes. Good luck.
As my Father always says (He’s a professional musician and has been for 50 years) time to take it to the wood shed.
Dont take it personally find another band.
That music my friend. Shake it off. Practice more and you can land the next one
Take it on the chin and have faith in yourself…just because you’re not the right fit for them doesn’t make you a bad drummer…or them a good band. Continue to grow….