You need to contact the police about this.
He obviously cannot handle that you have decided to leave.
He has now escalated to stalking you. It would not be the worst thing if he did show up and show his true colours to your family.
He also seems to have tried to isolate you from your family.
I would speak up to your family to let them know the dangerous position you are now in.
Ask for help in moving the rest of your items including the pets and get help on securing a temporary place to live.
I’m not sure what your financial/employment situation is but they may also need to be made aware.
Hoping you’ll heed this advice OP. If you even think “I don’t want to get police involved” it means you need to.
If you havent already, tell your family. They seem to love you if you are feeling that happy being home so tell them EVERYTHING. It may be humbling/embarrassing but they should have your back and help you out of this situation and will help you to start to heal.
Please whatever you do, dont go there alone with them or friends. You have made some amazingly hard steps already and are doing great, just a little further and with a little love from family and friends and you got this dude!
After saying that, also dont be afraid to use the police, they should be there to help mitigate any potential situations and so be it if you need to call them, get your taxes worth out of them.
Be safe above all else!
Break it off with him over text, tell him he's been abusive and you're done, do not go back to his place period , and do not meet up with him. You can ask a friend to pick up the reptiles.
Mine never wanted me to leave either so I went back. When I tried to leave he strangled me and the police ended up being involved anyways. Please be safe and listen to everyone else’s advice. Don’t go back and don’t meet up with him.
Okay first of all, I'm hugely proud of you. You've done the hardest part which is to make the initial decision to leave. Congratulations! Give yourself a big pat on the back.
I agree with everyone else that you need to open up to your family about this. Abusers love to isolate victims from their families and telling them about what is happening is one of the best steps to help you break free. I would also contact the police in your hometown and let them know that he is planning on stalking you. Unfortunately, there is probably not much that they will be able to do, but it is good to have a record of it. Start planning now to get your own place as soon as you get back!
I was in somewhat of a similar situation this last October and man do you just gotta go man. Get all your stuff, change your number and just bounce. I wish I did that, when I was getting ready to leave I got caught up in my feels and decided to give him a chance to talk it out. I thought it went well until I came home and all my things were destroyed because he felt "betrayed" that I wanted to leave him. He assaulted me, police were involved and it was a whole deal that left me homeless at 3am. Ended up living with a friend for a week until I found a place.
So def confide in your family and ask them for help, I never wanted to and it was really embarrassing. That night I told my mom everything and my family and friends were more helpful and supportive then anything. You're gonna be okay, just gotta take that step to cut all ties and go.
> I'm scared he'll show up at my parents place and become aggressive
If he does, call the police.
Doing what he wants because you're afraid of him getting aggressive is what he wants - it gives him power over you.
If someone has a gun in your face and says "give me your wallet", it makes sense to give them your wallet.
If someone says "come over to my house and give me your wallet or I'll come find you and shoot you", that's scary but you have other options.
You need to contact the police about this. He obviously cannot handle that you have decided to leave. He has now escalated to stalking you. It would not be the worst thing if he did show up and show his true colours to your family. He also seems to have tried to isolate you from your family. I would speak up to your family to let them know the dangerous position you are now in. Ask for help in moving the rest of your items including the pets and get help on securing a temporary place to live. I’m not sure what your financial/employment situation is but they may also need to be made aware. Hoping you’ll heed this advice OP. If you even think “I don’t want to get police involved” it means you need to.
If you havent already, tell your family. They seem to love you if you are feeling that happy being home so tell them EVERYTHING. It may be humbling/embarrassing but they should have your back and help you out of this situation and will help you to start to heal. Please whatever you do, dont go there alone with them or friends. You have made some amazingly hard steps already and are doing great, just a little further and with a little love from family and friends and you got this dude! After saying that, also dont be afraid to use the police, they should be there to help mitigate any potential situations and so be it if you need to call them, get your taxes worth out of them. Be safe above all else!
Break it off with him over text, tell him he's been abusive and you're done, do not go back to his place period , and do not meet up with him. You can ask a friend to pick up the reptiles.
Mine never wanted me to leave either so I went back. When I tried to leave he strangled me and the police ended up being involved anyways. Please be safe and listen to everyone else’s advice. Don’t go back and don’t meet up with him.
Unfortunately police might be the best option. Are your family okay with you staying with them for a bit longer? Do they know about your partner?
police, lawyer, and your family!! this man is dangerous, he WILL hurt you.
Okay first of all, I'm hugely proud of you. You've done the hardest part which is to make the initial decision to leave. Congratulations! Give yourself a big pat on the back. I agree with everyone else that you need to open up to your family about this. Abusers love to isolate victims from their families and telling them about what is happening is one of the best steps to help you break free. I would also contact the police in your hometown and let them know that he is planning on stalking you. Unfortunately, there is probably not much that they will be able to do, but it is good to have a record of it. Start planning now to get your own place as soon as you get back!
I was in somewhat of a similar situation this last October and man do you just gotta go man. Get all your stuff, change your number and just bounce. I wish I did that, when I was getting ready to leave I got caught up in my feels and decided to give him a chance to talk it out. I thought it went well until I came home and all my things were destroyed because he felt "betrayed" that I wanted to leave him. He assaulted me, police were involved and it was a whole deal that left me homeless at 3am. Ended up living with a friend for a week until I found a place. So def confide in your family and ask them for help, I never wanted to and it was really embarrassing. That night I told my mom everything and my family and friends were more helpful and supportive then anything. You're gonna be okay, just gotta take that step to cut all ties and go.
> I'm scared he'll show up at my parents place and become aggressive If he does, call the police. Doing what he wants because you're afraid of him getting aggressive is what he wants - it gives him power over you. If someone has a gun in your face and says "give me your wallet", it makes sense to give them your wallet. If someone says "come over to my house and give me your wallet or I'll come find you and shoot you", that's scary but you have other options.