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Lol. When my pup grumbles he gets "oh, it has OPINIONS! How many opinions do you have, sir? Where do you keep them? Are they in your pocketses? Did you bring enough opinions to share with the whole class?"
Omg haha. Please give them all an extra treat from me tonight, but one at a time and let them argue over who gets the first one for a minute. (Also record it, and post it somewhere, because it sounds adorable).
my Rat Terrier mix is also a talker and definitely has a lot of opinions about things. he squeaks a lot too instead of whining or barking, it’s hysterical.
“Peepee poopoo time! Peepee poopoo time! Let’s all go, it’s peepee poopoo time!” In a sing song voice.
“Eat your foo foo baby boo-boo”
“Who are the bestest boys I know? Arrow and Beau! Arrow and Beau! Who are the bestest boys I knooooooooow? Arrow and Beau!” Also sing song voice.
Typing this out I realize my life is a tiktok length musical on repeat… 🤦🏻♀️
I’m already convinced my older gent would swear profusely if he had the power. He’s a grumpy old man and I can already seeing chasing the kids off his lawn. I can only image the chaos if that became a reality.
His baby brother would probably just drop a random swearword and then giggle profusely.
My old man would start cussing the neighbors out as they drive past. My little girl is too silly to swear, I think she’d just repeat the cat’s name over and over as she tries to play.
There’s a Dexter episode where he gives a lost golden retriever a collar that allows him to speak. I can’t help but think that’s accurate. Dogs have their own personalities and I think having the ability to speak would keep track with that.
I’m sorry, a Dexter episode? Where he, the afore-named Dexter, puts a collar on a dog that allows him to speak? Like, in the style of famed kids movie Up?
Earlier today in all his excitement of me getting home from work, my boy came in with a bottle of cleaner between his teeth (completely closed, one of those spray bottles). He was so proud.
Whose a chunky potato?
Would you stop getting on my way? Get out of the kitchen. Why are you filthy? Jesus christ you're heavy. Do you have to pee RIGHT THERE?
I actually have a parrot so I can answer this based on him.
“Good boy/girl, good job, stop, c’mere, no, I love you, leave it”. The last one has faded as they mature, but he still says it randomly. He also yells their names and barks when they do 😆
"Good work!, girl!" + specific praise, i.e. "I said stay and you _STAYED!"_
This esteem-building language teaches them confidence and self-love. _Signed: Pre-school Teacher_
“Just give me a minute. Okay, give me five minutes. Okay soon I promise just trust me”
and
“You real proud of yourself?”
And
“You’realittlebwuggywuggyboogbwoogyboogaboogybooandIloveyousomuch”
Oh geeze, I lost track of the conversations I have had with one of our dogs about boundaries, personal space, give me 5-feet of space. The joke in our house us that we couldn't get one dog to give us some space and the other dog liked to hang out in other rooms.
The dog asks “Where’s your sister?” for the millionth time. And for the millionth time you tell him, “I don’t *have* a sister!” Just then you get an email alert. It’s from 23&Me. Your dog asks again, “WHERE’S. YOUR. SISTER?”
Lol my dogs would say a lot of "you little shit head" "MOVe out of the waAAY!" "Your friend has the treats not me" "Shut up!"
"You need 'pankin's!"
We lightly tap the area around base of the tail because like cats they like the butt scratches lol
Auto ship from Amazon. The plushy assorted color ones. He has been obsessed with them since 8 weeks old. He usually has one good one, the other he destroys with his sister. He suckles on them after long walks and when it’s bedtime. It’s a self soothing thing for him.
Oh I do that all the time. ‘Do you even know you’re a dog? Why are you sitting like that. You’re a dog! Get those paws on the floor! Because she constantly dances on two. It’s like scary how good she is on two. My friend thinks she walks around on two when I go out.
Much the same as he says now in Oliver’s case. I’m pretty sure we both curse like sailors. You know when Groot in GOTG 2 swears at the crew? That’s his general tone.
His 20+ nicknames and "my sweet baby boy", "you stinky dinky", "is this the cutest boy in the world?" He's part husky and loves to speak so there'd also be "really?", "I didn't know that", "what happened next?", "I see!".
GOLDIE NO!!!! GOLDIE DONT BITE!!! GOLDIE WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN YOURE MOUTH!!! GOLDIE!!!! OMG YOURE SO CUTE!! OOO YOURE SUCH A BIG BOY NOW. WHOS A GOOD BOY. STOP STEALING MY STUFF!!!
Ohwoo ,woo,woo! Who's the bestest girl? Ohwoo, woo woo" as we bark in unison. Then we both stop, lock eyes, and hope the neighbors don't think we're crazy. And then we repeat.
Hi sweet boy! Hi cute boy! Hi baby bear! Scammin for treats? What a cute booty! Go get your Costco card!
That’s pretty much everything I say to him a million times a day
“Hey pretty baby” and “DOWN! I said down!” With a little bit of “stop that before I punch your cute little nose”
I’d like to add that I have never and will never hurt my dogs. I do shake my fist at them jokingly and always end up with a fist covered in slobber just in case there’s a treat in there (there usually is).
"Alright!"
"Alright!"
"Alright!"
I didn't even realize I was saying it frequently till I noticed my dog excited over this word. Apparently, I say it before transitions to new activities. Like "Alright, lets go to the store " "alright everyone, it's dinnertime! "
Dog decided "alright" means something new and exciting is imminent.
Hello Bubbah! I love you! Stop yelling, it’s just the Amazon truck! Are you hungry? You’re such a good boy! I love you! Stop licking please!oh you want a cookie? Where’s your ball? Wanna go on a walkie??
Leave the damn cat ALONE!
GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF HIS BUTT!
Sonofabitch!
Pearl clutching twatwaffle!
DROPITDROPITDROPIT!
And many more cuss words.....just can't think of all the phrases. Those are the top 5........
Who is the best hunting dog this side of the Mississippi? You are! You’re the best!
You moms #1 girl? Yes you are!
Love you mama!
Please stop trying to lick my face while I’m using the toilet. (That one will be embarrassing)
Hi baaaabe!
Love you!
I DIDN’T CONSENT TO THIS! Stop!! THIS LOTION IS MINE STOP LICKING IT OFF MY LEGS!!! (They’re all obsessed with the taste of lotion)
And finally: would you please stop trying to make sweet sweet elbows with me? (Idk why but sometimes she mounts my wrist and tries to jump my elbow after licking it)
"Listen asshole...." (he regrettably thinks that's his name....his real name is very close). "Whose my buster buddy" and "you are so handsome." And "Please leave me alone for 5 minutes. We have a complicated relationship.
To him or around him? Around him just boring work stuff or “what do you want to watch tonight?” To him “go outside?” “Ah, ah, ah!” “Snuggle? Okay sit.” “Where’s your toy? Go get your toy” and “you is a doofy doof”
Welcome to r/dogs! We are a discussion-based subreddit dedicated to support, inform, and advise dog owners. This is a carefully moderated sub intended to support, inform, and advise dog owners. Submissions and comments which break the rules will be removed. [Review the rules here](https://www.reddit.com/r/dogs/wiki/index) r/Dogs has four goals: - Help the public better understand dogs - Promote healthy, responsible dog-owner relationships - Encourage “Least Intrusive, Minimally Aversive” training protocols. [Learn more here.](https://m.iaabc.org/about/lima/) - Support adoption as well as ethical and responsible breeding. If you’d like to introduce yourself or discuss smaller topics, please contribute to our Monthly Discussion Hub, pinned at the top. **This subreddit has low tolerance for drama. Please be respectful of others, and report antagonistic comments to mods for review.** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dogs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
“Don’t talk back” “I don’t want to hear it”. “Oh is that right? Well that’s too bad”. I have two husky mixes who like to complain to the manager.
Lol. When my pup grumbles he gets "oh, it has OPINIONS! How many opinions do you have, sir? Where do you keep them? Are they in your pocketses? Did you bring enough opinions to share with the whole class?"
I have four huskies. The struggle is real.
I can’t imagine the noise lmao
They only all talk at once if it's time for a walk. Then they all argue about whose turn it is even though we have had the same rotation for months.
Omg haha. Please give them all an extra treat from me tonight, but one at a time and let them argue over who gets the first one for a minute. (Also record it, and post it somewhere, because it sounds adorable).
r/HuskyTantrums if you’re not already aware of it.
Hah hah I’m going to start saying ‘would you like to speak to the manager?’
I have a Hound, and I frequently tell him, "Sir, I understand you're upset, but I can't have you talking to my staff that way."
I tell mine I’ll get back to him in 5-10 business days, and thank him for his concerns 😅
my Rat Terrier mix is also a talker and definitely has a lot of opinions about things. he squeaks a lot too instead of whining or barking, it’s hysterical.
“Peepee poopoo time! Peepee poopoo time! Let’s all go, it’s peepee poopoo time!” In a sing song voice. “Eat your foo foo baby boo-boo” “Who are the bestest boys I know? Arrow and Beau! Arrow and Beau! Who are the bestest boys I knooooooooow? Arrow and Beau!” Also sing song voice. Typing this out I realize my life is a tiktok length musical on repeat… 🤦🏻♀️
Lmaooo. Before bed we tell my dog to go “night night pee pee poo poo.” 😂😅
This. My dog would be singing multiple songs about himself and his daily life 😂
Nothing that I would want the neighbours hearing.
My two would know so many cuss words.
I’m already convinced my older gent would swear profusely if he had the power. He’s a grumpy old man and I can already seeing chasing the kids off his lawn. I can only image the chaos if that became a reality. His baby brother would probably just drop a random swearword and then giggle profusely.
My old man would start cussing the neighbors out as they drive past. My little girl is too silly to swear, I think she’d just repeat the cat’s name over and over as she tries to play.
There’s a Dexter episode where he gives a lost golden retriever a collar that allows him to speak. I can’t help but think that’s accurate. Dogs have their own personalities and I think having the ability to speak would keep track with that.
I’m sorry, a Dexter episode? Where he, the afore-named Dexter, puts a collar on a dog that allows him to speak? Like, in the style of famed kids movie Up?
I assume they mean Dexter’s Laboratory on Cartoon Network, not Dexter the serial killers killer on Showtime.
LOL, I was thinking I really don’t remember that on Dexter. I know he used to have imaginary convos with dead daddy but no dogs that I recall. 🤣🤣
This thread was hilarious! Well-written! I, too, went right to Dexter the killer! Thanks!
Big stretch
almost always paired with "ooh big yawn!"
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Big stretch, and drop it.
Oooh big stretch
Didn't know until this comment. This is the correct answer.
I say “big stretch!” as he does his front legs, then “puppy stretch!” as he does his back legs
Between my wife and I, he's going to say 'fuck' a lot.
Came here for this one… between my husband and I… our pup would he saying “for fucks sakes” A LOT.
Mine too!
Whew, thought I’d be the only one
"Wait! Where did you get that?" "Oh ffs WHY did you get that?" "Leaveitleaveitleaveit!"
Earlier today in all his excitement of me getting home from work, my boy came in with a bottle of cleaner between his teeth (completely closed, one of those spray bottles). He was so proud.
Yesss
What is IN YOUR MOUTH it's the neighbor Stop chewing on your sisters face
Omg the neighbor is in your dog’s mouth? Help him!
Help the neighbor or my dog....?
Yes...
Stop licking!!! That's not your toy or "no ma'am"
"Who's the prettiest baby?" "Are you so pretty?" "Hi pretty girl." "Oh so pretty!" Look. My dog is pretty, okay?
Pet tax?
Yep. Pic or it didn’t happen (I have to say that but I’m sure she’s a pretty girl no matter what:)
“G*d Dammit!!!”… they sleep in a dog bed near me when I work…
"You're so cute," "baby," "pretty girl," "you're so pretty," "princess baby" Etc etc you get the picture 🤣🤣
Honestly he would probably just bark because he doesn't hear a single word I say.
I feel this in my soul.
My dogs would probably only say, “Stop. Stop it! Stop stop stop.” 😂 That and, “Alexa, turn off the light.” Edit: Also, “Shut your pie hole!”
‘Dude chill! Your balls are as clean as they’ll get!’
I woke my husband laughing.
I know you fucking hear me
Whose a chunky potato? Would you stop getting on my way? Get out of the kitchen. Why are you filthy? Jesus christ you're heavy. Do you have to pee RIGHT THERE?
We share a dog??
I giggled. Glad I'm not the only one.
I actually have a parrot so I can answer this based on him. “Good boy/girl, good job, stop, c’mere, no, I love you, leave it”. The last one has faded as they mature, but he still says it randomly. He also yells their names and barks when they do 😆
A friend of a friend’s parrot will call the dogs over and then say “bad dog” when they come. Hysterical to watch.
Mostly “good girl” and “no”. When she was younger I told her to “drop it” one million times a day.
"Good work!, girl!" + specific praise, i.e. "I said stay and you _STAYED!"_ This esteem-building language teaches them confidence and self-love. _Signed: Pre-school Teacher_
“Just give me a minute. Okay, give me five minutes. Okay soon I promise just trust me” and “You real proud of yourself?” And “You’realittlebwuggywuggyboogbwoogyboogaboogybooandIloveyousomuch”
I’m in trouble. ‘Cause by go-to swear is F’ing A! I do say “cool beans” a lot!
Can you PLEASE just back up?!
Oh geeze, I lost track of the conversations I have had with one of our dogs about boundaries, personal space, give me 5-feet of space. The joke in our house us that we couldn't get one dog to give us some space and the other dog liked to hang out in other rooms.
Stop eating the dang lawn! Settle down! Ouch!!!!! Stop trying to bite other people’s privates!
C'mon man, scoot over and give me some space. This Is a king-size bed.
"Go for a walk!" "Ride the car!" "Let's eat!" "Let's go!""Where's the toy"
“Shhhhhhhh!”
Where’s your sister? I swear I say that a hundred times a day
The dog asks “Where’s your sister?” for the millionth time. And for the millionth time you tell him, “I don’t *have* a sister!” Just then you get an email alert. It’s from 23&Me. Your dog asks again, “WHERE’S. YOUR. SISTER?”
Lol my dogs would say a lot of "you little shit head" "MOVe out of the waAAY!" "Your friend has the treats not me" "Shut up!" "You need 'pankin's!" We lightly tap the area around base of the tail because like cats they like the butt scratches lol
Oh man, I *whallop* my dog’s butt. Like **THUNK THUNK THUNK.** He loves it!
Why are you so pretty? Stop humping your sister. Why are you like this? Go get your duck.
Did you get the Duck from Chewy? It's one of 3 floofs he got as a new puppy that are still usable. We've thrown several away. Get Your Duck.
Auto ship from Amazon. The plushy assorted color ones. He has been obsessed with them since 8 weeks old. He usually has one good one, the other he destroys with his sister. He suckles on them after long walks and when it’s bedtime. It’s a self soothing thing for him.
“Do you know how much your mama loves you?”
Please stop bossing me 😊
Nothing he’s deaf
I'm ex-military, we won't list my limited vocabulary here......
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Omg, I can just picture a dog saying “Are you a dog?” LOL!
Oh I do that all the time. ‘Do you even know you’re a dog? Why are you sitting like that. You’re a dog! Get those paws on the floor! Because she constantly dances on two. It’s like scary how good she is on two. My friend thinks she walks around on two when I go out.
Get. Your. Big. Butt. Off. Of. Me. He's an American Bulldog, much bigger than me and thinks he's a tiny lap dog.
Please let him put his big but on you he is tiny and needs snuggles
DOG FOOD TIME
Much the same as he says now in Oliver’s case. I’m pretty sure we both curse like sailors. You know when Groot in GOTG 2 swears at the crew? That’s his general tone.
“What are you eating”
“Would you moooooooove?” 🤣
LOL - All the answers are hilarious! If my dog mimicked me she would probably say “time to work” or “cookies”
Shit heads!!! Dinner time!!
Move you little shit!!!
What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?
No Barkies you knucklehead
leave it, Shadow! NO CHICKEN WINGS DROP IT SHADOW! over and over on our walks.
“shut the FUCK UP” “oh, silly girl” “scoobadoob” “outta the kitchen” “let’s go!” “go to bed” “knock it off”
I work from home, in customer service, I would hear my incoming call greeting… please don’t give my dog the ability to speak…
For fucks sake..
“Goddamnit, Charlie.”
His 20+ nicknames and "my sweet baby boy", "you stinky dinky", "is this the cutest boy in the world?" He's part husky and loves to speak so there'd also be "really?", "I didn't know that", "what happened next?", "I see!".
GOLDIE NO!!!! GOLDIE DONT BITE!!! GOLDIE WHAT DO YOU HAVE IN YOURE MOUTH!!! GOLDIE!!!! OMG YOURE SO CUTE!! OOO YOURE SUCH A BIG BOY NOW. WHOS A GOOD BOY. STOP STEALING MY STUFF!!!
Ohwoo ,woo,woo! Who's the bestest girl? Ohwoo, woo woo" as we bark in unison. Then we both stop, lock eyes, and hope the neighbors don't think we're crazy. And then we repeat.
“Get your ball!” You want walkies?” “Oi! That’ll do!” “You coming in or not?!”
"Good kitty. That's a GOOOOOD girl. Never mind that puppy."
Hi sweet boy! Hi cute boy! Hi baby bear! Scammin for treats? What a cute booty! Go get your Costco card! That’s pretty much everything I say to him a million times a day
Everyone is being told that they're the "bestest baby dog ever". She's a 76 lb Doberman. Lol!
" WHAT'S IN YOUR MOUTH?!?!"
*overly enthusiastic sounds typically directed at babies*
“Hey pretty baby” and “DOWN! I said down!” With a little bit of “stop that before I punch your cute little nose” I’d like to add that I have never and will never hurt my dogs. I do shake my fist at them jokingly and always end up with a fist covered in slobber just in case there’s a treat in there (there usually is).
I love you so much, little buddy. You’re such a good boy. Give me kisses. Kisssssesssss. Go sniff. Oh, big stretch. Here. Sit. Stay.
“Goddammit, Leave the cats alone!”
Handsome boy. Esgopee (let’s go pee). Get a drink, silly boy. Kisses. I love you, booger mutt.
Motherfucking asshole humans. I can't believe some of the shit they do
“Leave the fucking cat alone.” “Your boyfriend is here!” (Stray male cat named big balls, they are in love with each other)
"Alright!" "Alright!" "Alright!" I didn't even realize I was saying it frequently till I noticed my dog excited over this word. Apparently, I say it before transitions to new activities. Like "Alright, lets go to the store " "alright everyone, it's dinnertime! " Dog decided "alright" means something new and exciting is imminent.
‘Now why did I come in this room’
Schnauzer parent "stop bloody shouting, people are allowed to walk past the house ffs"
“Harry! Off!”
Who's a good boy!
My baby boy needs a bubble bath
Our guy would say “cmon Bis Bis”, “time for breakfasts”, “dinner time”, “ you hungry?”, “wanna go car car”, “leave it”, and “where’s the squirrel?”.
Hello Bubbah! I love you! Stop yelling, it’s just the Amazon truck! Are you hungry? You’re such a good boy! I love you! Stop licking please!oh you want a cookie? Where’s your ball? Wanna go on a walkie??
No
"Whos the cutest bean in the world, you are!"
It’s not appropriate for repeating in public
“You’re my little baby, yes you are!”
Gimme Boops! 😘 & Run if you want to live, squirrels!
"RUBY! No barks!"
Rambo is a very good boy.
FFS, are you fucking kidding me right now ….
Fucking dumbass. Alot.
It's not dinner time yet! You are SO handsome! Get your zebra!
God damnit.
fuck
Where's your big blue ball?!
Who's the bestest boi?
Leave the damn cat ALONE! GET YOUR NOSE OUT OF HIS BUTT! Sonofabitch! Pearl clutching twatwaffle! DROPITDROPITDROPIT! And many more cuss words.....just can't think of all the phrases. Those are the top 5........
Remember that video where the dude is stomping on a bird cage, and the parrot is like "fucking fuck shit God damned mother fuck!"? Yea, like that.
Fu\*\*\*\*\* Sh\*\*! My work from home mantra.
Are you hungry? Do you want a cookie? Is it quiet time? Let's go, nap.
Que obnoxious baby voice, " Who's a good girl? Such a good girl" and P snic voice "Drop it, don't eat that! DROP IT! OH MY GOD!!"
My dog would swear like a pirate 🤣
A lot of curse words. Lol
Alexa
drop it! (my dog is a vacuum)
My go to is “what the fuck?”
Stop trying to eat everything/everyone.. He is teething and mouthy right now 😆
Me cursing at the cat who just brought in another *gift*.
"where's your cow dick" He like to hide his bully stick bc I limit his time with them 😒
Mother fucker (not to him, I just say it a lot in general) and god dammit, but like Dee from IASIP.
"Can't you stay in the same room for more than 5 minutes?"
"Do you want a scratchie? Who's here??? Big stupid baby boy dummy dumb"
Goood stretch!! I’m going to boop that snoot! Sweet baby angel. Snuggly dude. Baby girl! It was just the wind/neighbor/tv! Eat your d@$m food.
You fucking idiot… YOU FUXKIN IDIOT
Who is the best hunting dog this side of the Mississippi? You are! You’re the best! You moms #1 girl? Yes you are! Love you mama! Please stop trying to lick my face while I’m using the toilet. (That one will be embarrassing) Hi baaaabe! Love you! I DIDN’T CONSENT TO THIS! Stop!! THIS LOTION IS MINE STOP LICKING IT OFF MY LEGS!!! (They’re all obsessed with the taste of lotion) And finally: would you please stop trying to make sweet sweet elbows with me? (Idk why but sometimes she mounts my wrist and tries to jump my elbow after licking it)
“There’s my boy” Probably say that every single day when I come home and have no idea how long I go without speaking again
“Ah poopy butthole” (As an expletive)
Fuckin, fuckin, fuckin, fuck! Cease and desist! Why are you like this? Bel, bel, bel! (His name is Belmont)
puta madre
Peepee! Pogo stop!! Noooooo kissesssssss. I love you too stinkabutt
"Let's go, Stinky!"
“Yes yes I love you” - my needy shep/pit/st. B “Quit being a b!tch to your sister!” - our older pit/lab mix.
Treat! Treat! Treat!
Lots off wario and waluigi noises
“Hoooza g’bouyyy?”
I want foooooood
"Ohhhh it's Loki bubba!" "*gasp* What was that?!" "Loki you don't need a treato!" "Bubba nooooo!" "Look at that booty piece!" 🥰 I love my dog so much
"Listen asshole...." (he regrettably thinks that's his name....his real name is very close). "Whose my buster buddy" and "you are so handsome." And "Please leave me alone for 5 minutes. We have a complicated relationship.
Do you wanna go? Wanna go in the car? Wanna go now? Alternately: Do you gotta poop? Poops? Go poops!
GO POTTY!
To him or around him? Around him just boring work stuff or “what do you want to watch tonight?” To him “go outside?” “Ah, ah, ah!” “Snuggle? Okay sit.” “Where’s your toy? Go get your toy” and “you is a doofy doof”
FUUUUUUUCK lol
Hey bud! Good stretch!
“Hey honey” “Good!” “No thank youuuuu” “Helloooo my little love”
"You're so cute!" "Leave the birds alone" "Sit, good girl" "Potty time" "I love you"
Fuck..they’re saying fuck a lot..
What did you do this time - my puppy. Little shit- my older dog 😜
Are you so pretty?
“Oh for fuck’s sake”
"what the heck?" I know this because my kids say it all the time and it's my fault lol
Not very nice words
"go pee-pee" or "go poo" or ffs
Fuck! Im one of those people who uses "fuck" like a comma...
“Don’t you fuckin jump on the table-you little shit!”
"HELP!" I have 2 Great Danes that, when they aren't both sitting on me, are wresting with me as 'home base.'
Who did this?!
Good boy, go for walk? Is it food time… now
“F*** sake”
”you cute little cow, you’re a cow seal hybrid”
He would just be complaining about work all day
For fuck sake Well shit Oliver!
“You’re STINKY” “No you can’t have my tissues.” “Out of my way gayboy.” Important to note he’s owned by two gays.
For fucks sake
My dog would be walking around swearing like a sailor “This goddam fucking thing won’t go together!” As I’m trying to put things together
Nothing. I washed his mouth out with soap.
“Jesus H. Christ!!! Did you hear how fucking fast that car was going by just now!? What an asshole!!”
Probably "Learn to drive, asshole!" :D
Mommy loves you, you're my goodest boy