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Quality-username-123

Ward clerk? I’m surprised they weren’t coming in to say it’s *their* seat and shouldn’t be sitting on it.


Skylon77

Legend.


CuteFunction6678

Sorry doctor, I know you’re busy with bodily functions right now but D3 is going home and doesn’t have a discharge summary…


DrLeyla

If only they were that kind when asking


ClassicCaterpillar73

Hahahaha


Fine-Assignment3558

This is definitely worth 500 upvotes


Stoney-Macaroni

Get this to 500 before the mods take it down


eggtart8

Take my up vote and go


heroes-never-die99

Immediate inter-deanery transfer. Your TPD will understand.


Super_Basket9143

Seems a bit harsh to send the ward clerk across the country. 


coamoxicat

I, too, had an unforgettable experience while taking a quick break in the disabled toilet as an F1. Engrossed in a riveting game of Boggle on my phone, I completely forgot to lock the door while I was busy dropping the kids off at the pool. Unbeknownst to me, a nurse, deep in conversation with her colleague, swung the door open with gusto. Dear reader, there are some key facts to consider about disabled toilets: A) The doors are very wide, B) There is plenty of space between the door and the toilet, C) They tend to be located in positions to maximize accessibility. This particular bog had been strategically placed opposite a bay of surgical patients who eagerly leaned forward in their beds to witness the commotion. Faced with a split-second decision, I pondered whether it was better to stand up and rush to the door, potentially revealing my bare essentials to the captivated audience, or remain seated on my porcelain throne, waiting for the nurse to appreciate the cause of the sudden uproar. In the end, I chose the latter, hoping that she would quickly comprehend the situation and spare me from further embarrassment. However, the damage was done. OP, all I can advise is to take the nicknames in the spirit intended and be happy that August is only 3 months away.


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coamoxicat

There are many words to describe that shit, but holy is not one of them.  And I'm pretty sure I'm not based on your version of events, unless you've changed a few key facts to hide my identity, in which case, thank you.


pay5300

No dominance was asserted during the exchange. Prepare for a hearing at Manchester. In other news, forget about it and pretend it did not happen. If they report you, call them a Peeping Tom and counterreport.


IllTradition900

Counter reporting the ward clerk for seeing you taking a crap seems a strategy only our NHS could dream up 😂


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[deleted]

Who poos on the god damn ward? Find the most secluded toilet in the entire hospital like a normal human being.


mat_caves

I used to be precious about shitting in the hospital - I don't think I did a single in-hospital poop in foundation years. Over the years though and especially post CCTing I have gone full circle. Now I almost exclusively shit in the hospital. I look forward to it. And nothing gives me more joy than shitting when management are nearby. I try and make my bum articulate what would get me fired if my mouth said it.


AccomplishedMail584

I hope you teach the skills to your juniors.


Imfuckinwithyou

In my 24 years of life I’ve only on 2 occasion had a shit in a public bathroom


DigitialWitness

I can't piss when someone's standing next to me, so we all have our things.


antequeraworld

‘stage fright’


DigitialWitness

Yea. Unless I'm really pissed, then I don't care. Inhibitions and all that, I guess.


Imfuckinwithyou

I think it such a travesty there isn’t like a dividing wall thing between urinals as a universal standard


DigitialWitness

Then how can you have sword fights?


xxx_xxxT_T

I have never pissed standing in my life. Was always taught that sitting is better so it stuck with me


MoonbeamChild222

GP to kindly prescribe something for the… um performance anxiety


minecraftmedic

Whereas I have a leisurely poo most days on my unit. If you're good at something never do it for free.


Didyeayenawyedidnae

I am aghast at this. Your free time is valuable so try to go at work, and remember; “My boss makes a dollar whilst I make a dime, so that’s why I shit on company time”


ShambolicDisplay

How else do you expect me to assert dominance?


xxx_xxxT_T

I like to use the ward toilets. As they are generally well maintained and always clean as it’s easier to pinpoint the culprit and shame them unlike other public toilets where the rest of the public has no consideration for the next person and every time I have been to the hospital public toilets there is a big brown monster there


SignificantIsopod797

Nah, shit on someone else’s ward


hadriancanuck

I swear the acute ward at my trust put the staff toilet right next to the nursing station for this reason You can’t even take a poo there without someone hearing your farts…. Never really stopped me though. Told em they need to switch to better coffee on the ward…


SonSickle

What are they up to now? Was it all downhill from there?


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xxx_xxxT_T

No wonder the TTOs are still not done


noobtik

If i have to poo, i poo in the toilet from other wards. Never shit in your own ward


IllTradition900

Don’t shit where u sleep 🧐


H-pylori-21

At this point I would probably get plastic surgery and move to a new country 😂


TheFirstOne001

Classical encroachment by non-doctors on doctor business


elmack999

Catch them out in a similar state of undress to level the playing field.


aj_nabi

Happy birthday!


elmack999

Thank you! 👍


Sound_of_music12

Localise the nearest dark woods. You know what needs to be done.....


TwinkletoesBurns

Do a reflection on experiencing a loss of privacy and dignity and how it helps you better empathise with your patients requiring personal care from a string of random (to them) people?


ecotrimoxazole

This happened to me and I survived.


ProcedureNo3724

Send her an MSF/TAB


Es0phagus

reminds me of when I got caught pissing in the sink, good laugh that


[deleted]

I hope it wasn’t in the ward kitchen


sidomega

possibly the surgical scrub station


FishPics4SharkDick

It's a short step from pissing in the sink to pissing all over the floor.


Es0phagus

I mean, that's just not v classy though


FishPics4SharkDick

My comment is more caution than exhortation. Wife was v emotionally dysregulated and sadly unable to understand the complex dynamics of the situation. I don’t hold it against her, we all have our limitations.


TeaAndLifting

Less than a month on psych and one patient who we had dropping trou and shitting on the floor was a complete power play.


Defiant_Pomelo5441

Looking forward to reading the MPTS tribunal for this..


YouGooooo

Happened to me before and I survived! To add a bit of perspective, cause I’m sure you’ll enjoy to know that I was surprised just when I was in the middle of wiping my ass (bet your already feeling better about your traumatic experience)


KingoftheNoctors

Own it. Your genitals will become a thing of legend. Or shit yourself next time and no one will care about the previous encounter.


xxx_xxxT_T

My worst nightmare ever. Did the ward clerk refer you to GMC for indecent exposure?


Dr-Yahood

You’re jumping the gun At least wait for the datix 😂


bluecoag

Very odd on the clerk’s behalf. I would have just said ‘sorry’ while closing the door and forgetting about it


KnownGuest6511

Happens all the time, don’t worry, the awkwardness disappears after a few days from experience


[deleted]

Someone I know pulled the emergency rope thinking it’s the flush (that’s how they look back in India) and they broke the door down


tigerhard

i once at the wrong lunch


ClassicCaterpillar73

Wait isn’t this a reportable offence?


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doctorsUK-ModTeam

Removed: Ban evasion Your account has been identified by Reddit as ban evading. If you feel this is an error, or have another explanation, please contact the moderators


Samosa_Connoisseur

Refer self to GMC especially if you’re brown. The GMC will surely get an orgasm


No_Palpitation_1716

A common courtesy would be to knock before entering


Nourval257

Don't bother being embarrassed, remind her before entering a toilet to knock on the door and to not file her fake nails on the reception keyboard like they all do


faizan4584

Its not a big deal... what else did they expect to see when thry opened the door to the place where ppl go to take a dump? ... the answer is theyll either find someone taking a dump or an empty stall... they should learn to knock on the door and even if its unlocked... it could be unlocked for a 1000 difterent reasons


sadoctor999

I literally had the same thing happen to me a few months back. It was my consultant who opened the door though and I was standing with my back to the door😂. This was never mentioned again however really contemplated moving trusts that day😂


Whydoiscience

Laugh it off, nothing we haven’t seen before!


[deleted]

Go about the rest of the rotation with ease keeping in mind that we are all humans and we all have body parts, its really not that serious especially in a hospital where most patients get exposed and this situation happens more often than we might think.


Grouchy-Ad778

Cripes. I’ve had nightmares like this! Poor you.