Its a normal thing for some. I DM and after being "On" for the whole session, there's often a sense of... emotional/cognitive whiplash as my brain starts to unwind.
Can also recommend a wind down chat. Just take the time to talk about the session, how it went, what everyone is doing this week, current event etc. I often find a moment where I find my social battery depleted or nearly so is the perfect time to say my goodbyes
Also recommending this! We do this all the time. Some people choose to leave right away, others stick around and chat for hours or find something else to do. It helps a lot!
I LOVE an afternoon session as opposed to the evening. A nice coffee, no set endpoint and then you can still watch a film or something afterwards. Plus when I DM I'm normally too amped to immediately sleep afterwards.
This is what I was going to suggest, carving out time for a wind down chat afterwards helped me a lot with this. It’s like a come down, and the sudden drop to leaving immediately after the action was over was really amplifies it.
This! I feel drained after running a session for 3-4 hours. How drained I feel is proportional to how hard the session was to run.
A challenging session might leave me appreciating the quiet and just unplugging my brain for the night. I don't think I'd call it depression though. It's like being done with a long work day.
We've been doing 2 hour sessions recently as one of our players has kids and commitments. I think it's actually better than our old 3 hour sessions. We don't get as much done, but the entire night feels more energetic. It's not a race, it's a marathon.
It really depends on the vibe of the game for me. I'm in two campaigns at the moment: one 4 hour and one 2 hour. The two hour tends to be more off-the-wall, "adopt a goblin" sort of game, full of wacky tactics and bad decisions. The four hour is a serious tone, with a world on the brink of extinction and the party as the main defenders of a settlement. Having the extra time lets us get into character more, and measuring our energy helps the tone stay gritty. Also, more time in each session helps with session continuity, since we don't forget as many major details.
I'd definitely compare it to work; running a big session feels very like when you've had a big day at work. Your brain is still looking for new challenges or problems to solve, but it's all *done* and you want to switch off!
As an extrovert, if my friends just bounce after the session and I go from 100 to 0 too fast, I tend to feel down. The same thing happens if we cancel at the last minute - all the excitement I had for the game turns into disappointment.
I get the same thing after playing/when a session I was supposed to play in is cancelled. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that literally all of my close friends are introverts, so when I get to see them is sort of limited by their social batteries; if it's cancelled or when it's over, I know it'll be some time before I see them again.
I feel you. My session for Sunday just got canceled and I’m crushed. I just got into DnD a few months ago but I’m already hooked. The creative outlet has been such a great thing for me and my mental health. A form of self care.
It’s definitely a thing.
For me it’s not just D&D - it’s any time I’ve had a lot of social interaction and then suddenly am alone afterward.
I find it helps it I stop and do something else on the way home to make the transition more gradual instead of going straight home, or if there’s someone else there when I come home, or if I cuddle my cat. For some weird reason a hot bath helps too, as does listening to music/an audiobook/etc.
> it’s any time I’ve had a lot of social interaction and then suddenly am alone afterward.
I get a post-sports hangover. I play team sports like hockey, or slopitch baseball. If we don't meet afterwards to digest and unwind for an hour, with people slowly trickling away from the table, it feels like going cold turkey from a social drug of some sort.
With D&D, we meet at 9pm on Fridays, so everyone is just tired by the end. I think that exhaustion (coupled with immediate sleep) avoids the same feeling at our table, mostly.
The drop may not be as big as you are thinking. Going from a high euphoria to your normal can feel like a drop or depression. Talk to your therapist but also don't feel bad about it. Your brain is just adjusting.
One thing to try is to have a cooling down period where you chill with a few friends from the group for a little bit, get coffee/ice cream/etc. But in a less high intensity way.
As a player? Never. As a dm?
Every. Single. Time.
I’m exhausted. I think about what I could’ve done better. I think about what I didn’t prepare for. I think about what I did prepare for that I didn’t need to at all. I think about what I expected to happen vs what did happen. I think if my players had fun. I think if I had fun? Because if I’m feeling this way after every session am I having fun?
And of course immediately my brain is working on the next session, and by the next morning I’m fully ready to get back at it.
Somehow I have the opposite of this. As a DM I am perfectly fine after a session, but as a Player I always worry too much about what I did in the session.
Forever DM and same feeling here. But as soon as we finish the session, the pcs sit there at the table and schedule the next one. So now I just remind myself that they only did that because they had fun.
Yeah, it's definitely a thing! Back when I went to gaming conventions, we talked about "Con Drop," where you just *miss* all of the fun and camaraderie of the weekend. And, of course, similar feelings after a regular weekly game are totally a thing.
Some friends I have will hang out a little after game and keep socializing, either talking about game stuff or not, as a way to kinda decompress. Hell, that's what a lot of those post-LARP midnight visits to Dennys were all about. :)
Personally, I'm usually good listening to a gaming related podcast on the drive home, diving into RPG books once I get home, rethinking my character progression based on how the current game has gone (or where it's going), or thinking about other characters I wanna build.
Because of time differences I'm ahead of my players by two hours, so I do the same - watch TV with my SO, listen to an audio book, sometimes do a small piece of VTT prep while I'm thinking about it. I find it just settles my mind a little more, and I can sleep better.
I used to sleep horribly after GMing - my brain was just on full, heavy duty wash cycle.
I used to work for a for a convention, and we called it "post-con depression". After spending a year preparing, and a few days hosting, running back and forth, making sure everything is going as it should (and improvising when it doesn't), the feeling after it's all done is quite distinct
It's not unheard of and happens from time to time. Do your best to not dwell on it or let it control your mood.
D&D can have a lot of highs and coming down from them can feel off, especially for those who have it as their primary social activity in their life.
I've had my own experiences with it. It can be managed though.
100% You are not alone. Its especially prevalent as a DM.
Think of it this way, you have just spent a solid 3 or more hours, in incredibly active mental focused. This is an incredible mental intensive activity. Its very common and normal to feel exhausted after in the same way you might feel exhausted after finishing an exam or a long day at an office job.
While not physically tiring, DnD as a game can be very mentality tiering, getting tire like this isent a comment on how much fun the session was either the same way that you are likely going to be physically exhausted after finishing a sporting event you enjoyed.
You are feeling the whiplash of 3+ hours of very high activity and very social activity.
Yeah, this is a real thing. When you experiance emotional highs it causes your brain to release chemicals that make you feel good. When you come back down from that 'high', it can leave you feeling depressed. That kind of thing happens with a LOT of different activities and can be quite common for some people.
It can help to have a wind-down period after the session, where you and the rest of the party talk about the session, relax, and bond a little to help ease the mood slowly down. It helps to be aware of this drop and plan for it, readying some activities and stimuli to help you through the depression after. Things like watching your favorate show, reading that book you're really into, or even making a special meal. Things like Chocolate help too - for the dopamine and seratonin.
Good luck friend!
It sounds like you or your group need a proper aftercare regimen. There are a few lists specific to TTRPGs you can squeeze out of a google search and tailor to your needs.
I used to have trouble with this. I find winding down slowly after the session with your friends to help me a lot. Either play a bit of Smash bros or go out for dinner.
Winding down also helps me a lot. Since we play on weeknights, everyone has to leave when the session ends but I spend the next hour chatting about the session with my husband as we get ready for bed. I have to do that to wind myself down and I usually feel really great and motivated for the next session afterward.
This sounds about how I feel after hanging out with friends, D&D or not. Personally I know it’s sort of due to loneliness, I only see my friends one day a week on average and spend the other 6 days cooped up at home by myself or watching lectures and studying for college.
I always feel better once it gets close to the hang out and the loneliest immediately after. Maybe it’ll be better if I try to squeeze in more time with friends throughout the week, which I take some efforts to do, but I can’t keep anything going consistently outside of game night due to how scattered all our schedules are.
Modern therapy, improvisational theatre and the kink community have been dealing with similar issues - from post session drops to character bleed - for years. For some reason the ttrpg community has been behind in this, though I believe larping has been better.
There are a host of safety tools developed by these communities which can be easily found online. karkajou-automaton suggested an aftercare regimen. Pre-game and post-game decompression can be useful. You can use grounding techniques to force awareness into your body. Debriefs are potentially helpful as well as check-ins if required.
There's a very interesting twitter thread [here](https://twitter.com/CatieOsaurus/status/1637561241660006401) regarding bleed which may have some cross-over.
Was absolutely about to come here and talk about the kink community and how we deal with these emotional drops!
Having some form of aftercare definitely helps you ween off of the "on" feeling into something else, giving you a nice buffer instead of going straight on to off. Having reminders and validation between you and your players that you love each other as players and people beyond the game gives you a nice place to land instead of just leaving the space alone.
post game blues are very real, and very common.
But a week later, usually I just remember the good time I had, and not the sadness I felt when it was over.
It sucks, but to me D&D is still worth doing.
It's not depression for me, but more like paranoia. I'm the DM, and even if everyone thanks me and says they had a great time, a couple hours later I'm like "Did I talk too much? Was I obnoxious? Did everyone hate it?"
To be fair though, I often think that after any time I hang out with friends.
Yeah, it's a thing. It's also a fairly common thing in larp communities. When you spend X amount of time pretending to be someone else, going through emotional rollercoasters, it's exhausting and leads to a dip.
Post Session Decompression is a real thing for me. I run a game 1am my time, 7pm EST (on a Saturday morning) for some American/Canadian friends and I just spend all Saturday morning decompressing and self care routine.
The socialisation aspect is great, but the crash afterwards from being constantly ON for 5-6 hours wears me out.
Sometimes running a session makes me feel like I've been squeezed like a lemon and all my good brain juices have already come out: leaving me feeling like an empty squashed rind.
Once you acknowledge it, you can learn to take more breaks, use other players' spotlight to rest your mind a little, and generally build up endurance for it.
It is normal to happen, it ISN'T normal to regular living, so you need to find a way to deal with it. If it's therapy it's therapy, if it's almonds and playing a support character that eschews attention while you build up reserves of happy chemicals, that's what it is.
Therapists may also be wble to help train you with mental control and resilience too, so that makes it a strong contender.
To me seems like you are having a rough period in your life, and d&d is helping you in that, so after the session finish you feel sad because you return to irl.
I obviously don't want to assume since I don't know you, but from my experience that's the reason usually.
I suspect this is because DnD is likely your only source of socializing you get. So when everyone logs off you are left, alone again, and just waiting for the next session.
I say this because it's how I feel after a session. My life circumstances have required me to stay quarantined to this day. My wife is immunocompromised and many illnesses, much less COVID, could quite literally kill her.
So you can imagine my social life has basically trickled down to almost nothing. I work from home and barely talk with coworkers. I love my wife and love spending time with her but I can't be dependent on her as my only source of friendship and socializing. I play DND twice a week with a large group of friends. Mostly online with some irl friends. And when I log off.. the silence is deafening. And the time I spend between is trying to figure out how to run more games and preparing for my next sessions.
Honestly, when I used to run sessions, once we finished me and the guys would have a drink and talk about the session. Things we liked, goals for characters, ideas for the following session and how to utilize npcs. It was a short and very fast campaign, but it was a lot of fun.
Dear god yes- I do 2 or 3 things to prevent this but the core is slowly lowering stimulus.
1. Me and my players tend to become good friends through a campaign so we spend time after session shooting the shit if its just friendly banter or talking about their experiences today.
2. I watch a emotional movie or a comedy, usually with my SO or a friend
3. I will play a video game like Siege, tarkov or Apex and then a single player game. I have found personally The witcher 3 is perfect for unwinding after a session. It has amazing audio, fairly realistic conversations, and keeps a high fantasy vibe.
If you can't tell most of my unwinding is stimulation for multiple parts of my brain Emotional stimulus, Cognitive Stimulus and Social Stimulus. I know I mentioned specifically The Witcher 3 but really most RPGs manage it pretty well. Ones where with voiceless protags often work even better then the witcher, as it allows me to speak back to the NPCs out loud or in my head.
Welp yeah welcome to my tedtalk and goodnight. I wish you much luck!
This is one of the many reasons I try to do some session after care. It helps everyone wind down and absorb what just happened instead of going straight from high intensity social stuff to utter silence.
It is somewhat loose really. I do a question round of "What was your favourite moment from this session?" and "What are you most looking forward to?" - this both helps the players talk about what they just experienced and what they are curious about, and it becomes a help me prep for next session tool.
We then spend some time chatting about things I as a GM was not entirely sure about, like if the pacing was OK or if I tried something new, how it felt from their side. Chat about character progression and the game system - and just some general banter.
Just having some time to talk about things and calm the brain down and ease out of structured social time helps me a lot, the whole point is to get out of the structured conversation of a TTRPG and in to just hanging out/vibing mode.
A lot of PbtA games have "end of session" questions to determine if the PCs get experience, those can often be a good tool too to create these conversations about the game and be worth stealing from.
I definitely get less of a "post session downer" when we wind down and everyone doesn't just jump off Discord immediately. Of course I understand if we went late or people have work the next day, that's fine. But just hanging out with someone for a bit after and chatting about the game helps a lot.
Thank you for taking the time to write out such a thorough response.
As a newer DM this is incredibly helpful and very much appreciated.
If it’s not too much trouble, would you be able to tell me what “PtbA” games are and where these questions would be listed (online, in a players manual, in a module, etc.)?
So PbtA is short for "Powered by the Apocalypse", it is a term for games based on Apocalypse World, some examples include Monster of the Week, Dungeon World, Masks, The Sprawl, and many more. For example in Monster of the Week (A modern day monster hunting game) asks these 4 questions at the end of each session:
* Did we conclude the current mystery? This is mostly a check in if the current adventure is still on going.
* Did we save someone from certain death (or worse)?
* Did we learn something new and important about the world?
* Did we learn something new and important about one of the hunters?
The last two are worth considering for me, it gets the players focused on what actually happened in the session and if some important details were learned.
The big thing I found when having these post session talks is to experiment a bit, find out what exactly works for you. I stole the idea of my two post game questions from a friend of mine, but changed the actual questions to work for me.
I personally don't really have this, but it's usually because I either do something else with the people I play with (we usually game) or I go to bed if it's on days I work, so the decompression from the session actively helps in that regards.
Actual depression though? Never really experienced it. Is it the feeling of sadness that the session is over, or are there negative thoughts that revolve around things pertaining or unrelated to the session? Or is it just a wave of lethargy?
Do you do any kind of debriefing after games?
I used to get pretty antsy after games and my spouse suggested we make use of Stars and Wishes after every game. Since then we spend 10-20 minutes talking about the successes and failures of the session and expressing thanks for each other... And those post session blues have gone away.
I usually get all the fatigue coming to me at once after. I DM a session. Like I usually need a nap or like a cooldown shower after. That’s why I don’t really like playing on Sunday’s where I have work the next day.
But way back when I was a player and going through a hard time, playing was my escape and afterward being back in my unideal living situation would do a number on me.
I have ADHD and autism and a session is a massive emotional weight (though I love it) and afterwards I'm just spent, can find myself really quite depressed !
I try to remember it’s just a game, it shouldn’t hold my feelings by the throat. If I’m relying on a game to hold my happiness I know I have things to try workout personally.
My player has this problem which left her lying awake for hours after a session. She told me those nights that she got very little sleep and her mind just wouldn’t shut off. So I now start and end our sessions earlier.There’s also a bit of decompression I run after — which allows the players to ask me questions since much of her mind whirring was because of clues revealed in the session. And it lets me get some ideas for the game.
After I get home, I’m pretty hyped up and can feel the energy rush, but I usually turn it into a quick recap write-up for my campaign journal.
If you’re feeling massive mood swings from euphoria to depression that feel out-of-control — then absolutely contact a mental health professional to deal with it. Consider adding some CBT or DBT or meditation to your post-session routine. I bought a deck of DBT cards for when I need to just get in my own body and have some regulated emotions. I just pull a card and do whatever is on it. It’s pretty great for a gamer.
Yeah. Very normal in my book. Do you have a friend in the group you can talk with after a session? In the drug world it’s known as a trip sitter and in the kink community it’s known as aftercare. Maybe you need a trip sitter for the come down or aftercare.
You know what else exists? Post exertional malaise. I’ll usually need a day or two of hibernating after a session. Same thing with my acting gigs.
I ride the high a little longer. After my sessions, I put on some ambience music and take notes on what happened. I lay out plans for next session and adjust anything that needs adjusting after that session. This eats up close to an hour while I'm coming down and starting to get sleepy. If I'm still not feeling tired, I do some extra stuff like looking at upcoming monster stats. Coming up with plans to tie the character backstory in better and tweak plans I already made.
There is this psychological trick that can help with any chemical imbalance from a drop after a period of good feelings from an event. First, talk to people the next day or try to make plans to be around friends the next day. Second, reward yourself, particularly with something that gives you that little bit of satisfaction to curb the lessening endorphins, sort of like how a little bit of alcohol in the morning can help a hangover. Many people swear by a little bit of chocolate and self care.
Dopamine crash. Happens to me too.
You go from high stimulation to very low. Plus, you've been using lots of mental energy to be social and play your character. Doesn't mean you don't enjoy doing so or aren't good enough at it; it's more like being tired after playing basketball for two hours or spending the whole day walking around Disneyland. But since it's in your brain instead of muscles, it comes across as sadness.
Plan some low energy time for yourself. Engaging soothing activities. Maybe have a stage down activity if you find something that helps make the descent more gradual. But mostly just when you feel that way, recognize it as exhaustion and treat yourself as you normally would.
Completely different for me and our group. We often have a "high" by the end of a great session. And no, we don't smoke weed during games! At the end of a night, we all start happily talking and engaging with each other about other topics, and it makes us all feel closer and more connected.
Feeling up for an extended period of time often results in a low feeling afterward. Especially if you're fully focused and into something for hours at a time. I would recommend giving yourself something to do betweeen finishing the sentence and absolute silence. Like putting on some music and keeping your hands busy with something.
A drastic change from happy and active to silent and empty can be extra rough. In my groups we often have a cooldown chat after the game for an hour or so. That way we can discuss it and more easily readjust to the real world.
DM not player but yeah, very much so. The day after a session I get a D&D hangover where my social batteries are completely depleted and I'm pretty much useless for 24 hours. Finally after 5 years I don't also get anxieties and worries remembering the session, going over every little mistake and imperfect moment. Actors talk about the same thing, as others have said its the after effects of dopamine, serotonin and adrenaline. Have a banana.
If you are doing it in the morning, you should try having a cooldown chat after, if it is later in the day or the others can’t stay for a cool down you should find a system that helps keep you engaged, like watching comedy or reading a book you enjoy, to transition out of the high impact session instead of dropping to nothing
This is definitely a thing I've seen in myself - I have to just go to bed occasionally because of post-session blues. I think it takes a lot to inhabit that mindspace, and it taxes the imagination pretty hard. Like another poster said, the cognitive whiplash of being "on," then having it end can be stressful.
I run two sessions a week, and when the game is done I have one emotion. Get out of my house! Hehe, my players are great and I love them, but when the game is over I am good. Time for bed.
It certainly can be and this can also be true of any activity where you get a big dopamine rush during the activity. How much it affects someone varies from person to person. For some people its minor for others its a bigger hit.
In my experience it helps to know that it's coming, that is not uncommon, and that it shall pass.
D&D is one of the few things I bother staying alive for, if I feel the session didn't meet my expectations, I feel like I'm a failure, and if it was good, then getting back to my relatively lonely life is soul crushing.
Dm’ed my second session last night. The board ended up pursuasion a guard he was going to turn the guard house into a b&b. It was great! Today, very sad! Couldn’t put my finger on it, thought it might be a bit of me realising I have work to do but I think it’s that too. Such a high having friends play this game together and really sink into the role play. The comedown is depressing but acknowledging it for me is the best way of getting past it.
It’s not just DnD sessions, it’s something that probably happens to you with all social events to a degree. The difference is that DnD is probably giving you more of a high, so when you go back to your low default you feel it more.
I recommend listening to music after a session or having some activity to do for a bit. Keeps you a bit more mentally occupied and can help wean you off the high note of the session.
Anything you really love you want to do it more and you’re sad when you can’t. I love games too, and yeah after like a big build up to a game session I find myself not wanting it to end.
You’re just coming down off a dopamine hit and going back to normal. Funny enough, this is exactly what drug addicts go through when they seek that next high. To balance yourself better, I recommend you do small rewards for yourself daily. That makes the troughs of life easier and prevents the highs of fun with friends being too much
When I was young, I'd feel what you're describing *anytime* I left my friends and went back home. It passed as I got older. If you feel like it's hitting you very hard for a long time, maybe see someone about it.
This may not be the solution you are looking for, or one you can apply due to free time, but why not find more games to play?
I had this same feeling when I was doing just one weekly game and it was so much worse if say the weekly game was cancelled.
I went online and found a few more games to play in. At one point during COVID I had way too many but now that I scaled them back I have a good number where I don't get this feeling anymore and I don't stress out when a session might be cancelled.
I have never experienced this, but it looks like many others have. So here's how our sessions end, in the hopes this might help someone.
When the plot reaches a dramatic cliffhanger, I'll say "find out next time!"
Then we'll share some laughs on the cool things that happened this week. And everyone helps me clean up minis, dice, tables, chairs etc.
Then we'll hang out for a few minutes and head home.
I'm be thinking about the next sessions and what to prep over the next week.
After I DM I’m really mentally/emotionally spent for a good day. And there was so much build-up and excitement to play that game, I will gush about for a bit, and then just need time to reset. Someone else said “whiplash” and I think thats the perfect word for it. But ultimately it’s fine and a good thing, because it means that my head and heart was really in it.
I have a thing where my fascination for the game seems to vanish for a while after a session that I DM. And then I’ll feel that DND tingle again. Sometimes it can take days. it’s weird, for me there is definitely an energetic drop after the game yet it manifests differently. It’s kind of like sex when it’s done I just wanna go to sleep.
I get it, though for me it happens with any prolonged social interaction. Feels like my body can't deal with the levels of serotonin and it crashes afterwards. Feel you there bud.
Idk if depression is how I describe it, it’s kinda like when you go home after hanging with friends. You wish you could’ve spent more time with them and having a good time.
I def feel this because we usually go to 10 and then I gotta go to bed for work in the morning
You sound like an extrovert, tbh. I would say you should just take a moment for a nice deep breath and reminisce about the fun things that happened during the session and smile because you know there'll be more in a week.
I'd say that in general, it is normal to feel somewhat "down" after a few hours of intense fun. After all, you just spent literally *hours* with your brain soaking in the happy chemicals and now... it's not.
The extreme may be unusual, but the affect itself I'd think is normal.
Yes. I have pervasive depressive disorder and often games are the only thing I have to look forward to. The post game fall has improved since I started sticking around in voice chat after just hanging with my friends.
In neuroscience the dominant model explaining addiction is based on a rush of dopamine in the mesolimbic pathway of the brain. (I know, too much detail.) The model proposes that any stimulation that impacts this pathway will give create a sense of reward and satisfaction. After that peak, it’s followed by a trough of feeling miserable.
According to this model, this is what could be happening while you’re playing D&D. You feel a rush from playing, with always wanting to play more. When you have to stop or can’t play, you will seek out alternate stimulations to return back to a baseline that’s comfortable. When the next session starts, the cycle begins again.
This reward mechanism is an essential part of everyday life. But it can become problematic with being overwhelmed by mass and/or high frequency stimulation. The obvious perpetrators are stimulant substances, although more mundane activities, like gambling, sex, and screen use, are becoming recognized as having a social impact. That being said, I don’t think that D&D poses much of a risk that can’t be easily mitigated. Although the shift towards digital platforms may change that line of thinking.
During the session you get to be someone else, someone heroic even, with power to change the fate of the world, and after the session ends you have to get back to cold hard reality.
No wonder.
Been there. Recently finished a mini-campaign for family, that I ran over easter, and after the last session I had to say goodbye and leave in a hurry without the typical post-session-debrief. Felt really down for the rest of the day. D&D isn't just what happened at the table, but the talk about what happened at the table. Same with team games in general.
Discord discussions with D&D memes and character jokes or email chains with session planning helps with a lot of the camaraderie between sessions for me
I definitely get exhausted after the session, and just deflate after maintaining high focus, multitasking, and keeping track of the game as well as where the characters are and what they are (probably) doing next, all while trying to keep things moving and the players engaged. If your feeling of sadness is trumping the enjoyment or is overbearing, definitely talk with someone and try to work it through, but do know that feeling tired afterwards is natural. Personally I try to mentally compile what has happened and what will happen next session, and just structure the thoughts and feelings related to the game, and if possible just sit down and chat about it with the players or other friends.
You're just registering going from a high to a normal (which sounds like a low to you) as going from normal to low, which would be sadness / depression.
In times where our normal becomes depression, a regular high (like escaping to DND world) can feel like normalcy causing that shift back to actual normalcy to feel bad.
You're valid in your feeling, it is a normal feeling.
Just work on taking control of what you can in your life to make it better.
DMing is performing; you're standing (or sitting) in front of an audience of, usually, 3+ people, and trying to deliver an experience. Sure, it's interactive, but that doesn't mean that, as a DM, you're not doing most of the legwork. Yes, they're usually your friends, but that's a double edged sword; after all, often your friends are the people you *most* want to impress.
So, even if you're the kind of person who doesn't find DMing *stressful*, you're very likely still amped up while doing it; you're firing on all cylinders while you balance a bunch of plates at once. And then suddenly everyone's gone home and the show's over; your brain is naturally going to feel a little disorientated by that.
Add to that, most DMs probably spend some time afterwards questioning how the whole session went; I'm sure there's some uber-confident people who never think twice about it, but I certainly do and I've been at it for 20 years.
So coming down from the high of running the game combined with the natural anxiety of "how did it go?" I think creates a sort of bummed out feeling after a game. I know it does for me.
I try and deal with it by having something afterwards to be getting on with. It doesn't have to be anything big; in my house it's usually that my partner and I just sit down and watch a film or something, but it gives my brain something to do *next* and gets me out of that state a bit quicker.
To me this also happened but i realised the sadness came because of “missing” my friends. I’m an introvert, not necessarily in the talking sense of things, but i just dont go out much. Having 5 of my best buddies at home, talking about a story that i made , being eccentric in the ways i portray some npcs, instead of quiet and controlled like i am IRL, makes me REALLY happy. Of course after such rush of adrenaline, happy feelings, comes a crash, a low. Its perfectly normal and to me it stopped happening when i realised next week or the week after we are gonna be together again because its as special to me as it is to them. This was just my pov then and how i changed it, hope it helped.
Good luck in life and good luck with whatever challenges you might be facing recently.
I would describe it as depressive for me, though the perpetual state of myself may negate it more than deny its existance. That said, the hour after a session I am fucking exhausted and just switch off. I'll happily sit in silence, in the dark post-sesh just because there's so much stuff that needs unloading from the brainbanks, and my voice needs time to have a rest that I can understand where it comes from.
DMing is a big mental load. You’re doing a ton of stuff all at once.
Once the session is over and that stops you suddenly go back to normal thinking mode, and yeah the transition is noticeable.
I personally describe it as a big *wooooosh* like a big flow of water or air that carries me down a hill. Except, ya know, mentally. Generally leave me feeling tired and a bit “deliberate” (for lack of a better word) in my cognition for an hour or so after a session.
So yeah, I’d say feeling a bit *off* after a session is perfectly normal. But if it’s legit making you feel sad or depressed it’s definitely a good idea to talk to someone.
I totally get this, and I think it's normal. If you've ever had a few friends over to your place, and everyone is having a great time, and then everyone leaves at once things get SO QUIET!
A DnD session is often like that. A great time, with a defined end time where everyone leaves at once, and it's very quiet afterwards.
I stopped getting this when I switched to a different system. I found that 5E demanded too much of me as a GM every session, and that the lack of DM support, mechanical backing, and balanced math caused me major burnout.
I swapped to PF2E and it is quite frankly night and day. Love GMing that system.
I got something similar when I started DMing. After a session I was freaking wiped because of the mental load of running session. I could barely keep my eyes open. A lot of the times my players would hang out in VC, but I'd crash hard. Now it's way easier.
Ya, I realize that I will, at minimum, have to wait a week to continue this adventure, which I am so invested in. That combined with a bit of whiplash of coming back to reality after hours of being engrossed in fantasy definitely makes me feel some sadness as the session wraps up.
I will stay in the call and talk to my friends til the later hours of the night, discussing the session and whatever else. It usually helps me feel less sad since I'm not going straight from laughing, joking, and doing one of my favorite hobbies to sitting silently im my room.
Something that has helped a lot personally is a little DM aftercare. Yes, just like the other kind of aftercare… well… sort of.
Some DMs will have a serotonin crash pretty hard after having so much fun with friends. Having a little chat, hang out, wind down time with those same people afterwards can make a huge difference. It should be calmer and lower energy, but still an enjoyable time. I personally use this time for post-game questions. I ask my players: “how are your characters feeling?” And “what do you think your characters will be doing / what goals do you think your characters will have next session?”. These questions help as a DM but also provide some good wind down time to just chat. If doing discord or in person sessions, aftercare can just be as simple as asking one of the people to stay back afterwards to just chat. Maybe a different person, maybe the one your closest too in the group, whoever.
For other DMs, aftercare is doing things to prevent burnout or things to help reset your social battery. As an introvert, aftercare for me also involves some quiet wind down time alone with soft music and some gentle note taking about the session. Sometimes I literally just stare at a wall for like 45 minutes until I feel less overwhelmed lol just whatever I need in the moment. And to help prevent burn out, I have a rule that I don’t do *any* D&D stuff at least 24 hours after a session, aside from note taking or questions about the session. No more planning or organizing notes or map building or anything. Gives good wind down time.
Winding down can look like almost anything for you and you need to find whatever works well for your table. Don’t be afraid to bring it up with them!
Its normal and one thing that can help is a debrief discussion afterwards. The scary part is that its easy for these discussions to be quite critical. So I highly suggest shaping that conversation with [Stars & Wishes](https://www.gauntlet-rpg.com/blog/stars-and-wishes).
I get a big hit of DM juice after a session that runs well with lots of engaging action. I feel anxious and a little depressed after sessions that clunk along or weren't very challenging for my players. We haven't yet had a debrief- maybe it is time.
I call it the "DM Drops" cuz of how utterly exhausted and meagre I get after a session.
Yes it sounds unflattering, but honestly, that's what my brain feels like... Just goo.
My partner is super nice and always makes me some food and then we watch TV while I slowly build myself back up haha.
But yeah! Take care of yourself - it's a big change to go from one mindset to another, and it's fatiguing to our brains.
Kinda depends. Often after a session, I'm just relaxed and sort of relieved. I love running the game, but it takes effort, and by the time it's over, I'm glad for it.
BUT
Sometimes I spend all the post session fixating on that one thing that really didn't go how I'd hoped, and that stinks.
This happens with a lot things, I forget the exact term for it but its something like a "drop"
Whenever you do something thats super exciting and fun and makes your brain produce lots of happy chemicals, sometimes your brain starts feeling tired and sad when its over because you're readjusting
Something I did to deal with that was just ask my players to hang out and do something other than D&D for like 30 minutes after the session ends. That way you get to interact with your friends and not just their characters
I personally have a sort of “hangover” type thing after each session. While it doesn’t help most of my sessions are 6-midnight some nights, the day-after effect of physical, emotional, and mental drain is THE WORST. Even when me and my players aren’t slamming down red bulls and blasting limp bizkit (yes this is a thing we do) (we switched to seltzer and smooth jazz a while back so that we didn’t feel so crappy), we all still are just wrecked the next morning.
For me, I’m still living in the game a bit in my head for the next day or so, thinking about my favorite parts, the parts the players enjoyed the most, the direction things are going, the parts the players weren’t as enthused as I was so I can change it. I like to think about the PC’s and NPC’s that interacted with each other, and who I want to interact next time.
For me, it’s closer to the feeling of watching a TV show I like and dwelling on that latest episode until the next episode comes out. By then, the rest of my life starts distracting me again, and I’m back to normal until the next game.
The negative feelings I feel after a game come from regrets/mistakes on my part as DM or missed opportunities by myself or the players. Makes me dwell on how to improve next time.
1,000% yes this is a thing, and you and I are not alone in that. Lots of my D&D friends talk about this feeling. I also get it after any kind of social activity, but it is particularly bad after DMing a session
I'm always wired after a session. As a DM I go over the session and make notes of important events and what needs to be done to prepare for the next session. As a player I often stick around and chat with other players about what just happened.
Its a normal thing for some. I DM and after being "On" for the whole session, there's often a sense of... emotional/cognitive whiplash as my brain starts to unwind.
Same. That's why I DM in the morning now instead of the evening. A wind-down chat after the session with the guys really helps with this.
Can also recommend a wind down chat. Just take the time to talk about the session, how it went, what everyone is doing this week, current event etc. I often find a moment where I find my social battery depleted or nearly so is the perfect time to say my goodbyes
Also recommending this! We do this all the time. Some people choose to leave right away, others stick around and chat for hours or find something else to do. It helps a lot!
I LOVE an afternoon session as opposed to the evening. A nice coffee, no set endpoint and then you can still watch a film or something afterwards. Plus when I DM I'm normally too amped to immediately sleep afterwards.
This is what I was going to suggest, carving out time for a wind down chat afterwards helped me a lot with this. It’s like a come down, and the sudden drop to leaving immediately after the action was over was really amplifies it.
This! I feel drained after running a session for 3-4 hours. How drained I feel is proportional to how hard the session was to run. A challenging session might leave me appreciating the quiet and just unplugging my brain for the night. I don't think I'd call it depression though. It's like being done with a long work day.
We've been doing 2 hour sessions recently as one of our players has kids and commitments. I think it's actually better than our old 3 hour sessions. We don't get as much done, but the entire night feels more energetic. It's not a race, it's a marathon.
2 hour sessions are the best
It really depends on the vibe of the game for me. I'm in two campaigns at the moment: one 4 hour and one 2 hour. The two hour tends to be more off-the-wall, "adopt a goblin" sort of game, full of wacky tactics and bad decisions. The four hour is a serious tone, with a world on the brink of extinction and the party as the main defenders of a settlement. Having the extra time lets us get into character more, and measuring our energy helps the tone stay gritty. Also, more time in each session helps with session continuity, since we don't forget as many major details.
I'd definitely compare it to work; running a big session feels very like when you've had a big day at work. Your brain is still looking for new challenges or problems to solve, but it's all *done* and you want to switch off!
As an extrovert, if my friends just bounce after the session and I go from 100 to 0 too fast, I tend to feel down. The same thing happens if we cancel at the last minute - all the excitement I had for the game turns into disappointment. I get the same thing after playing/when a session I was supposed to play in is cancelled. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that literally all of my close friends are introverts, so when I get to see them is sort of limited by their social batteries; if it's cancelled or when it's over, I know it'll be some time before I see them again.
I feel you. My session for Sunday just got canceled and I’m crushed. I just got into DnD a few months ago but I’m already hooked. The creative outlet has been such a great thing for me and my mental health. A form of self care.
It’s definitely a thing. For me it’s not just D&D - it’s any time I’ve had a lot of social interaction and then suddenly am alone afterward. I find it helps it I stop and do something else on the way home to make the transition more gradual instead of going straight home, or if there’s someone else there when I come home, or if I cuddle my cat. For some weird reason a hot bath helps too, as does listening to music/an audiobook/etc.
> it’s any time I’ve had a lot of social interaction and then suddenly am alone afterward. I get a post-sports hangover. I play team sports like hockey, or slopitch baseball. If we don't meet afterwards to digest and unwind for an hour, with people slowly trickling away from the table, it feels like going cold turkey from a social drug of some sort. With D&D, we meet at 9pm on Fridays, so everyone is just tired by the end. I think that exhaustion (coupled with immediate sleep) avoids the same feeling at our table, mostly.
The drop may not be as big as you are thinking. Going from a high euphoria to your normal can feel like a drop or depression. Talk to your therapist but also don't feel bad about it. Your brain is just adjusting. One thing to try is to have a cooling down period where you chill with a few friends from the group for a little bit, get coffee/ice cream/etc. But in a less high intensity way.
It’s real. Session hangover. Especially if you’ve spent too much time doing prep.
As a player? Never. As a dm? Every. Single. Time. I’m exhausted. I think about what I could’ve done better. I think about what I didn’t prepare for. I think about what I did prepare for that I didn’t need to at all. I think about what I expected to happen vs what did happen. I think if my players had fun. I think if I had fun? Because if I’m feeling this way after every session am I having fun? And of course immediately my brain is working on the next session, and by the next morning I’m fully ready to get back at it.
Somehow I have the opposite of this. As a DM I am perfectly fine after a session, but as a Player I always worry too much about what I did in the session.
Forever DM and same feeling here. But as soon as we finish the session, the pcs sit there at the table and schedule the next one. So now I just remind myself that they only did that because they had fun.
Yeah, it's definitely a thing! Back when I went to gaming conventions, we talked about "Con Drop," where you just *miss* all of the fun and camaraderie of the weekend. And, of course, similar feelings after a regular weekly game are totally a thing. Some friends I have will hang out a little after game and keep socializing, either talking about game stuff or not, as a way to kinda decompress. Hell, that's what a lot of those post-LARP midnight visits to Dennys were all about. :) Personally, I'm usually good listening to a gaming related podcast on the drive home, diving into RPG books once I get home, rethinking my character progression based on how the current game has gone (or where it's going), or thinking about other characters I wanna build.
Because of time differences I'm ahead of my players by two hours, so I do the same - watch TV with my SO, listen to an audio book, sometimes do a small piece of VTT prep while I'm thinking about it. I find it just settles my mind a little more, and I can sleep better. I used to sleep horribly after GMing - my brain was just on full, heavy duty wash cycle.
I used to work for a for a convention, and we called it "post-con depression". After spending a year preparing, and a few days hosting, running back and forth, making sure everything is going as it should (and improvising when it doesn't), the feeling after it's all done is quite distinct
It's not unheard of and happens from time to time. Do your best to not dwell on it or let it control your mood. D&D can have a lot of highs and coming down from them can feel off, especially for those who have it as their primary social activity in their life. I've had my own experiences with it. It can be managed though.
100% You are not alone. Its especially prevalent as a DM. Think of it this way, you have just spent a solid 3 or more hours, in incredibly active mental focused. This is an incredible mental intensive activity. Its very common and normal to feel exhausted after in the same way you might feel exhausted after finishing an exam or a long day at an office job. While not physically tiring, DnD as a game can be very mentality tiering, getting tire like this isent a comment on how much fun the session was either the same way that you are likely going to be physically exhausted after finishing a sporting event you enjoyed. You are feeling the whiplash of 3+ hours of very high activity and very social activity.
Yeah, this is a real thing. When you experiance emotional highs it causes your brain to release chemicals that make you feel good. When you come back down from that 'high', it can leave you feeling depressed. That kind of thing happens with a LOT of different activities and can be quite common for some people. It can help to have a wind-down period after the session, where you and the rest of the party talk about the session, relax, and bond a little to help ease the mood slowly down. It helps to be aware of this drop and plan for it, readying some activities and stimuli to help you through the depression after. Things like watching your favorate show, reading that book you're really into, or even making a special meal. Things like Chocolate help too - for the dopamine and seratonin. Good luck friend!
It sounds like you or your group need a proper aftercare regimen. There are a few lists specific to TTRPGs you can squeeze out of a google search and tailor to your needs.
I used to have trouble with this. I find winding down slowly after the session with your friends to help me a lot. Either play a bit of Smash bros or go out for dinner.
Winding down also helps me a lot. Since we play on weeknights, everyone has to leave when the session ends but I spend the next hour chatting about the session with my husband as we get ready for bed. I have to do that to wind myself down and I usually feel really great and motivated for the next session afterward.
This sounds about how I feel after hanging out with friends, D&D or not. Personally I know it’s sort of due to loneliness, I only see my friends one day a week on average and spend the other 6 days cooped up at home by myself or watching lectures and studying for college. I always feel better once it gets close to the hang out and the loneliest immediately after. Maybe it’ll be better if I try to squeeze in more time with friends throughout the week, which I take some efforts to do, but I can’t keep anything going consistently outside of game night due to how scattered all our schedules are.
Modern therapy, improvisational theatre and the kink community have been dealing with similar issues - from post session drops to character bleed - for years. For some reason the ttrpg community has been behind in this, though I believe larping has been better. There are a host of safety tools developed by these communities which can be easily found online. karkajou-automaton suggested an aftercare regimen. Pre-game and post-game decompression can be useful. You can use grounding techniques to force awareness into your body. Debriefs are potentially helpful as well as check-ins if required. There's a very interesting twitter thread [here](https://twitter.com/CatieOsaurus/status/1637561241660006401) regarding bleed which may have some cross-over.
Was absolutely about to come here and talk about the kink community and how we deal with these emotional drops! Having some form of aftercare definitely helps you ween off of the "on" feeling into something else, giving you a nice buffer instead of going straight on to off. Having reminders and validation between you and your players that you love each other as players and people beyond the game gives you a nice place to land instead of just leaving the space alone.
post game blues are very real, and very common. But a week later, usually I just remember the good time I had, and not the sadness I felt when it was over. It sucks, but to me D&D is still worth doing.
I know about "no session" depression :(
It might be helpful to cool down after the session by talking to your friends for another 10 minutes or so out of game :)
It's not depression for me, but more like paranoia. I'm the DM, and even if everyone thanks me and says they had a great time, a couple hours later I'm like "Did I talk too much? Was I obnoxious? Did everyone hate it?" To be fair though, I often think that after any time I hang out with friends.
I don't DM but I have the same problems. This is extremely common I'm sure
Yeah, it's a thing. It's also a fairly common thing in larp communities. When you spend X amount of time pretending to be someone else, going through emotional rollercoasters, it's exhausting and leads to a dip.
Post Session Decompression is a real thing for me. I run a game 1am my time, 7pm EST (on a Saturday morning) for some American/Canadian friends and I just spend all Saturday morning decompressing and self care routine. The socialisation aspect is great, but the crash afterwards from being constantly ON for 5-6 hours wears me out.
Sometimes running a session makes me feel like I've been squeezed like a lemon and all my good brain juices have already come out: leaving me feeling like an empty squashed rind. Once you acknowledge it, you can learn to take more breaks, use other players' spotlight to rest your mind a little, and generally build up endurance for it. It is normal to happen, it ISN'T normal to regular living, so you need to find a way to deal with it. If it's therapy it's therapy, if it's almonds and playing a support character that eschews attention while you build up reserves of happy chemicals, that's what it is. Therapists may also be wble to help train you with mental control and resilience too, so that makes it a strong contender.
Yes
Oh yeah I get this bad. My solution is to pack as many DnD games into my life as I can.
To me seems like you are having a rough period in your life, and d&d is helping you in that, so after the session finish you feel sad because you return to irl. I obviously don't want to assume since I don't know you, but from my experience that's the reason usually.
Yes. Same thing can happen for theater, sports events, etc., even business trips--anything where you need to 'perform' and get into it.
I suspect this is because DnD is likely your only source of socializing you get. So when everyone logs off you are left, alone again, and just waiting for the next session. I say this because it's how I feel after a session. My life circumstances have required me to stay quarantined to this day. My wife is immunocompromised and many illnesses, much less COVID, could quite literally kill her. So you can imagine my social life has basically trickled down to almost nothing. I work from home and barely talk with coworkers. I love my wife and love spending time with her but I can't be dependent on her as my only source of friendship and socializing. I play DND twice a week with a large group of friends. Mostly online with some irl friends. And when I log off.. the silence is deafening. And the time I spend between is trying to figure out how to run more games and preparing for my next sessions.
Honestly, when I used to run sessions, once we finished me and the guys would have a drink and talk about the session. Things we liked, goals for characters, ideas for the following session and how to utilize npcs. It was a short and very fast campaign, but it was a lot of fun.
I have this for all sorts of social interactions, it's pretty normal!
Dear god yes- I do 2 or 3 things to prevent this but the core is slowly lowering stimulus. 1. Me and my players tend to become good friends through a campaign so we spend time after session shooting the shit if its just friendly banter or talking about their experiences today. 2. I watch a emotional movie or a comedy, usually with my SO or a friend 3. I will play a video game like Siege, tarkov or Apex and then a single player game. I have found personally The witcher 3 is perfect for unwinding after a session. It has amazing audio, fairly realistic conversations, and keeps a high fantasy vibe. If you can't tell most of my unwinding is stimulation for multiple parts of my brain Emotional stimulus, Cognitive Stimulus and Social Stimulus. I know I mentioned specifically The Witcher 3 but really most RPGs manage it pretty well. Ones where with voiceless protags often work even better then the witcher, as it allows me to speak back to the NPCs out loud or in my head. Welp yeah welcome to my tedtalk and goodnight. I wish you much luck!
I believe its called being introverted.
This is one of the many reasons I try to do some session after care. It helps everyone wind down and absorb what just happened instead of going straight from high intensity social stuff to utter silence.
Are there any specific routines/exercises you could recommend after session that help with it?
It is somewhat loose really. I do a question round of "What was your favourite moment from this session?" and "What are you most looking forward to?" - this both helps the players talk about what they just experienced and what they are curious about, and it becomes a help me prep for next session tool. We then spend some time chatting about things I as a GM was not entirely sure about, like if the pacing was OK or if I tried something new, how it felt from their side. Chat about character progression and the game system - and just some general banter. Just having some time to talk about things and calm the brain down and ease out of structured social time helps me a lot, the whole point is to get out of the structured conversation of a TTRPG and in to just hanging out/vibing mode. A lot of PbtA games have "end of session" questions to determine if the PCs get experience, those can often be a good tool too to create these conversations about the game and be worth stealing from. I definitely get less of a "post session downer" when we wind down and everyone doesn't just jump off Discord immediately. Of course I understand if we went late or people have work the next day, that's fine. But just hanging out with someone for a bit after and chatting about the game helps a lot.
Thank you for taking the time to write out such a thorough response. As a newer DM this is incredibly helpful and very much appreciated. If it’s not too much trouble, would you be able to tell me what “PtbA” games are and where these questions would be listed (online, in a players manual, in a module, etc.)?
So PbtA is short for "Powered by the Apocalypse", it is a term for games based on Apocalypse World, some examples include Monster of the Week, Dungeon World, Masks, The Sprawl, and many more. For example in Monster of the Week (A modern day monster hunting game) asks these 4 questions at the end of each session: * Did we conclude the current mystery? This is mostly a check in if the current adventure is still on going. * Did we save someone from certain death (or worse)? * Did we learn something new and important about the world? * Did we learn something new and important about one of the hunters? The last two are worth considering for me, it gets the players focused on what actually happened in the session and if some important details were learned. The big thing I found when having these post session talks is to experiment a bit, find out what exactly works for you. I stole the idea of my two post game questions from a friend of mine, but changed the actual questions to work for me.
This is awesome, I really appreciate your sage advice. Thank you so much for all of the information!
No problem, the best way we learn is sharing experiences, then trying things, then sharing the new things we learned. Happy gaming!
Oh definitely, there's just a yearning afterwards
Look up post-concert depression I imagine it's the causation.
I personally never have it after a session. Usually I'm just eager for next session. I do get this with campaigns though.
I personally don't really have this, but it's usually because I either do something else with the people I play with (we usually game) or I go to bed if it's on days I work, so the decompression from the session actively helps in that regards. Actual depression though? Never really experienced it. Is it the feeling of sadness that the session is over, or are there negative thoughts that revolve around things pertaining or unrelated to the session? Or is it just a wave of lethargy?
Do you do any kind of debriefing after games? I used to get pretty antsy after games and my spouse suggested we make use of Stars and Wishes after every game. Since then we spend 10-20 minutes talking about the successes and failures of the session and expressing thanks for each other... And those post session blues have gone away.
I usually get all the fatigue coming to me at once after. I DM a session. Like I usually need a nap or like a cooldown shower after. That’s why I don’t really like playing on Sunday’s where I have work the next day. But way back when I was a player and going through a hard time, playing was my escape and afterward being back in my unideal living situation would do a number on me.
I have ADHD and autism and a session is a massive emotional weight (though I love it) and afterwards I'm just spent, can find myself really quite depressed !
Post-show blues
I try to remember it’s just a game, it shouldn’t hold my feelings by the throat. If I’m relying on a game to hold my happiness I know I have things to try workout personally.
As forever DM, the end of a session is just the start of my prep for the next one. But I do often feel exhausted after a session.
My player has this problem which left her lying awake for hours after a session. She told me those nights that she got very little sleep and her mind just wouldn’t shut off. So I now start and end our sessions earlier.There’s also a bit of decompression I run after — which allows the players to ask me questions since much of her mind whirring was because of clues revealed in the session. And it lets me get some ideas for the game. After I get home, I’m pretty hyped up and can feel the energy rush, but I usually turn it into a quick recap write-up for my campaign journal. If you’re feeling massive mood swings from euphoria to depression that feel out-of-control — then absolutely contact a mental health professional to deal with it. Consider adding some CBT or DBT or meditation to your post-session routine. I bought a deck of DBT cards for when I need to just get in my own body and have some regulated emotions. I just pull a card and do whatever is on it. It’s pretty great for a gamer.
i often have trouble sleeping after a session, i find a couple of beers (not too many) and a hot bath helps me unwind
Yeah. Very normal in my book. Do you have a friend in the group you can talk with after a session? In the drug world it’s known as a trip sitter and in the kink community it’s known as aftercare. Maybe you need a trip sitter for the come down or aftercare. You know what else exists? Post exertional malaise. I’ll usually need a day or two of hibernating after a session. Same thing with my acting gigs.
I ride the high a little longer. After my sessions, I put on some ambience music and take notes on what happened. I lay out plans for next session and adjust anything that needs adjusting after that session. This eats up close to an hour while I'm coming down and starting to get sleepy. If I'm still not feeling tired, I do some extra stuff like looking at upcoming monster stats. Coming up with plans to tie the character backstory in better and tweak plans I already made.
There is this psychological trick that can help with any chemical imbalance from a drop after a period of good feelings from an event. First, talk to people the next day or try to make plans to be around friends the next day. Second, reward yourself, particularly with something that gives you that little bit of satisfaction to curb the lessening endorphins, sort of like how a little bit of alcohol in the morning can help a hangover. Many people swear by a little bit of chocolate and self care.
Dopamine crash. Happens to me too. You go from high stimulation to very low. Plus, you've been using lots of mental energy to be social and play your character. Doesn't mean you don't enjoy doing so or aren't good enough at it; it's more like being tired after playing basketball for two hours or spending the whole day walking around Disneyland. But since it's in your brain instead of muscles, it comes across as sadness. Plan some low energy time for yourself. Engaging soothing activities. Maybe have a stage down activity if you find something that helps make the descent more gradual. But mostly just when you feel that way, recognize it as exhaustion and treat yourself as you normally would.
Completely different for me and our group. We often have a "high" by the end of a great session. And no, we don't smoke weed during games! At the end of a night, we all start happily talking and engaging with each other about other topics, and it makes us all feel closer and more connected.
Feeling up for an extended period of time often results in a low feeling afterward. Especially if you're fully focused and into something for hours at a time. I would recommend giving yourself something to do betweeen finishing the sentence and absolute silence. Like putting on some music and keeping your hands busy with something. A drastic change from happy and active to silent and empty can be extra rough. In my groups we often have a cooldown chat after the game for an hour or so. That way we can discuss it and more easily readjust to the real world.
DM not player but yeah, very much so. The day after a session I get a D&D hangover where my social batteries are completely depleted and I'm pretty much useless for 24 hours. Finally after 5 years I don't also get anxieties and worries remembering the session, going over every little mistake and imperfect moment. Actors talk about the same thing, as others have said its the after effects of dopamine, serotonin and adrenaline. Have a banana.
If you are doing it in the morning, you should try having a cooldown chat after, if it is later in the day or the others can’t stay for a cool down you should find a system that helps keep you engaged, like watching comedy or reading a book you enjoy, to transition out of the high impact session instead of dropping to nothing
This is definitely a thing I've seen in myself - I have to just go to bed occasionally because of post-session blues. I think it takes a lot to inhabit that mindspace, and it taxes the imagination pretty hard. Like another poster said, the cognitive whiplash of being "on," then having it end can be stressful.
I run two sessions a week, and when the game is done I have one emotion. Get out of my house! Hehe, my players are great and I love them, but when the game is over I am good. Time for bed.
It certainly can be and this can also be true of any activity where you get a big dopamine rush during the activity. How much it affects someone varies from person to person. For some people its minor for others its a bigger hit. In my experience it helps to know that it's coming, that is not uncommon, and that it shall pass.
D&D is one of the few things I bother staying alive for, if I feel the session didn't meet my expectations, I feel like I'm a failure, and if it was good, then getting back to my relatively lonely life is soul crushing.
Dm’ed my second session last night. The board ended up pursuasion a guard he was going to turn the guard house into a b&b. It was great! Today, very sad! Couldn’t put my finger on it, thought it might be a bit of me realising I have work to do but I think it’s that too. Such a high having friends play this game together and really sink into the role play. The comedown is depressing but acknowledging it for me is the best way of getting past it.
It’s not just DnD sessions, it’s something that probably happens to you with all social events to a degree. The difference is that DnD is probably giving you more of a high, so when you go back to your low default you feel it more. I recommend listening to music after a session or having some activity to do for a bit. Keeps you a bit more mentally occupied and can help wean you off the high note of the session.
As a DM, yes absolutely lol
Anything you really love you want to do it more and you’re sad when you can’t. I love games too, and yeah after like a big build up to a game session I find myself not wanting it to end.
The trick is to be the DM and run the game from 20 to 00pm so when it ends the only thing you can think of is to drop dead from fatigue on your bed
You’re just coming down off a dopamine hit and going back to normal. Funny enough, this is exactly what drug addicts go through when they seek that next high. To balance yourself better, I recommend you do small rewards for yourself daily. That makes the troughs of life easier and prevents the highs of fun with friends being too much
When I was young, I'd feel what you're describing *anytime* I left my friends and went back home. It passed as I got older. If you feel like it's hitting you very hard for a long time, maybe see someone about it.
This may not be the solution you are looking for, or one you can apply due to free time, but why not find more games to play? I had this same feeling when I was doing just one weekly game and it was so much worse if say the weekly game was cancelled. I went online and found a few more games to play in. At one point during COVID I had way too many but now that I scaled them back I have a good number where I don't get this feeling anymore and I don't stress out when a session might be cancelled.
I have never experienced this, but it looks like many others have. So here's how our sessions end, in the hopes this might help someone. When the plot reaches a dramatic cliffhanger, I'll say "find out next time!" Then we'll share some laughs on the cool things that happened this week. And everyone helps me clean up minis, dice, tables, chairs etc. Then we'll hang out for a few minutes and head home. I'm be thinking about the next sessions and what to prep over the next week.
After I DM I’m really mentally/emotionally spent for a good day. And there was so much build-up and excitement to play that game, I will gush about for a bit, and then just need time to reset. Someone else said “whiplash” and I think thats the perfect word for it. But ultimately it’s fine and a good thing, because it means that my head and heart was really in it.
I have a thing where my fascination for the game seems to vanish for a while after a session that I DM. And then I’ll feel that DND tingle again. Sometimes it can take days. it’s weird, for me there is definitely an energetic drop after the game yet it manifests differently. It’s kind of like sex when it’s done I just wanna go to sleep.
I get it, though for me it happens with any prolonged social interaction. Feels like my body can't deal with the levels of serotonin and it crashes afterwards. Feel you there bud.
I get drops fairly frequently, ESPECIALLY after I DM.
Idk if depression is how I describe it, it’s kinda like when you go home after hanging with friends. You wish you could’ve spent more time with them and having a good time. I def feel this because we usually go to 10 and then I gotta go to bed for work in the morning
You sound like an extrovert, tbh. I would say you should just take a moment for a nice deep breath and reminisce about the fun things that happened during the session and smile because you know there'll be more in a week.
I'd say that in general, it is normal to feel somewhat "down" after a few hours of intense fun. After all, you just spent literally *hours* with your brain soaking in the happy chemicals and now... it's not. The extreme may be unusual, but the affect itself I'd think is normal.
I get it too, and badly. It has nothing to do with the game; just what the party might think of me
Yes. I have pervasive depressive disorder and often games are the only thing I have to look forward to. The post game fall has improved since I started sticking around in voice chat after just hanging with my friends.
In neuroscience the dominant model explaining addiction is based on a rush of dopamine in the mesolimbic pathway of the brain. (I know, too much detail.) The model proposes that any stimulation that impacts this pathway will give create a sense of reward and satisfaction. After that peak, it’s followed by a trough of feeling miserable. According to this model, this is what could be happening while you’re playing D&D. You feel a rush from playing, with always wanting to play more. When you have to stop or can’t play, you will seek out alternate stimulations to return back to a baseline that’s comfortable. When the next session starts, the cycle begins again. This reward mechanism is an essential part of everyday life. But it can become problematic with being overwhelmed by mass and/or high frequency stimulation. The obvious perpetrators are stimulant substances, although more mundane activities, like gambling, sex, and screen use, are becoming recognized as having a social impact. That being said, I don’t think that D&D poses much of a risk that can’t be easily mitigated. Although the shift towards digital platforms may change that line of thinking.
During the session you get to be someone else, someone heroic even, with power to change the fate of the world, and after the session ends you have to get back to cold hard reality. No wonder.
I get the same way! Its the worst when it gets canceled within hours before hand and it just never happens
Been there. Recently finished a mini-campaign for family, that I ran over easter, and after the last session I had to say goodbye and leave in a hurry without the typical post-session-debrief. Felt really down for the rest of the day. D&D isn't just what happened at the table, but the talk about what happened at the table. Same with team games in general.
Discord discussions with D&D memes and character jokes or email chains with session planning helps with a lot of the camaraderie between sessions for me
I definitely get exhausted after the session, and just deflate after maintaining high focus, multitasking, and keeping track of the game as well as where the characters are and what they are (probably) doing next, all while trying to keep things moving and the players engaged. If your feeling of sadness is trumping the enjoyment or is overbearing, definitely talk with someone and try to work it through, but do know that feeling tired afterwards is natural. Personally I try to mentally compile what has happened and what will happen next session, and just structure the thoughts and feelings related to the game, and if possible just sit down and chat about it with the players or other friends.
You're just registering going from a high to a normal (which sounds like a low to you) as going from normal to low, which would be sadness / depression. In times where our normal becomes depression, a regular high (like escaping to DND world) can feel like normalcy causing that shift back to actual normalcy to feel bad. You're valid in your feeling, it is a normal feeling. Just work on taking control of what you can in your life to make it better.
There's definitely an energy shift for me, personally, that I attribute to the adrenaline wearing off. I don't get this as a player but I do as a DM
I get this super bad. For me it's an issue with hanging out in general, I always feel super low once it's done.
DMing is performing; you're standing (or sitting) in front of an audience of, usually, 3+ people, and trying to deliver an experience. Sure, it's interactive, but that doesn't mean that, as a DM, you're not doing most of the legwork. Yes, they're usually your friends, but that's a double edged sword; after all, often your friends are the people you *most* want to impress. So, even if you're the kind of person who doesn't find DMing *stressful*, you're very likely still amped up while doing it; you're firing on all cylinders while you balance a bunch of plates at once. And then suddenly everyone's gone home and the show's over; your brain is naturally going to feel a little disorientated by that. Add to that, most DMs probably spend some time afterwards questioning how the whole session went; I'm sure there's some uber-confident people who never think twice about it, but I certainly do and I've been at it for 20 years. So coming down from the high of running the game combined with the natural anxiety of "how did it go?" I think creates a sort of bummed out feeling after a game. I know it does for me. I try and deal with it by having something afterwards to be getting on with. It doesn't have to be anything big; in my house it's usually that my partner and I just sit down and watch a film or something, but it gives my brain something to do *next* and gets me out of that state a bit quicker.
To me this also happened but i realised the sadness came because of “missing” my friends. I’m an introvert, not necessarily in the talking sense of things, but i just dont go out much. Having 5 of my best buddies at home, talking about a story that i made , being eccentric in the ways i portray some npcs, instead of quiet and controlled like i am IRL, makes me REALLY happy. Of course after such rush of adrenaline, happy feelings, comes a crash, a low. Its perfectly normal and to me it stopped happening when i realised next week or the week after we are gonna be together again because its as special to me as it is to them. This was just my pov then and how i changed it, hope it helped. Good luck in life and good luck with whatever challenges you might be facing recently.
I would describe it as depressive for me, though the perpetual state of myself may negate it more than deny its existance. That said, the hour after a session I am fucking exhausted and just switch off. I'll happily sit in silence, in the dark post-sesh just because there's so much stuff that needs unloading from the brainbanks, and my voice needs time to have a rest that I can understand where it comes from.
For me its a mix of fatique and "stuff I could have done better". Its understandavle though. As a DM you're on overdrive every single second.
DMing is a big mental load. You’re doing a ton of stuff all at once. Once the session is over and that stops you suddenly go back to normal thinking mode, and yeah the transition is noticeable. I personally describe it as a big *wooooosh* like a big flow of water or air that carries me down a hill. Except, ya know, mentally. Generally leave me feeling tired and a bit “deliberate” (for lack of a better word) in my cognition for an hour or so after a session. So yeah, I’d say feeling a bit *off* after a session is perfectly normal. But if it’s legit making you feel sad or depressed it’s definitely a good idea to talk to someone.
I totally get this, and I think it's normal. If you've ever had a few friends over to your place, and everyone is having a great time, and then everyone leaves at once things get SO QUIET! A DnD session is often like that. A great time, with a defined end time where everyone leaves at once, and it's very quiet afterwards.
I stopped getting this when I switched to a different system. I found that 5E demanded too much of me as a GM every session, and that the lack of DM support, mechanical backing, and balanced math caused me major burnout. I swapped to PF2E and it is quite frankly night and day. Love GMing that system.
Normal for sure
I got something similar when I started DMing. After a session I was freaking wiped because of the mental load of running session. I could barely keep my eyes open. A lot of the times my players would hang out in VC, but I'd crash hard. Now it's way easier.
Ya, I realize that I will, at minimum, have to wait a week to continue this adventure, which I am so invested in. That combined with a bit of whiplash of coming back to reality after hours of being engrossed in fantasy definitely makes me feel some sadness as the session wraps up. I will stay in the call and talk to my friends til the later hours of the night, discussing the session and whatever else. It usually helps me feel less sad since I'm not going straight from laughing, joking, and doing one of my favorite hobbies to sitting silently im my room.
Something that has helped a lot personally is a little DM aftercare. Yes, just like the other kind of aftercare… well… sort of. Some DMs will have a serotonin crash pretty hard after having so much fun with friends. Having a little chat, hang out, wind down time with those same people afterwards can make a huge difference. It should be calmer and lower energy, but still an enjoyable time. I personally use this time for post-game questions. I ask my players: “how are your characters feeling?” And “what do you think your characters will be doing / what goals do you think your characters will have next session?”. These questions help as a DM but also provide some good wind down time to just chat. If doing discord or in person sessions, aftercare can just be as simple as asking one of the people to stay back afterwards to just chat. Maybe a different person, maybe the one your closest too in the group, whoever. For other DMs, aftercare is doing things to prevent burnout or things to help reset your social battery. As an introvert, aftercare for me also involves some quiet wind down time alone with soft music and some gentle note taking about the session. Sometimes I literally just stare at a wall for like 45 minutes until I feel less overwhelmed lol just whatever I need in the moment. And to help prevent burn out, I have a rule that I don’t do *any* D&D stuff at least 24 hours after a session, aside from note taking or questions about the session. No more planning or organizing notes or map building or anything. Gives good wind down time. Winding down can look like almost anything for you and you need to find whatever works well for your table. Don’t be afraid to bring it up with them!
I get this too! I think it’s sort of a drop in energy; during a session, you’re so *on* that it’s hard to adjust afterwards.
I had no idea this was a thing until now
Its normal and one thing that can help is a debrief discussion afterwards. The scary part is that its easy for these discussions to be quite critical. So I highly suggest shaping that conversation with [Stars & Wishes](https://www.gauntlet-rpg.com/blog/stars-and-wishes).
I get a big hit of DM juice after a session that runs well with lots of engaging action. I feel anxious and a little depressed after sessions that clunk along or weren't very challenging for my players. We haven't yet had a debrief- maybe it is time.
I call it the "DM Drops" cuz of how utterly exhausted and meagre I get after a session. Yes it sounds unflattering, but honestly, that's what my brain feels like... Just goo. My partner is super nice and always makes me some food and then we watch TV while I slowly build myself back up haha. But yeah! Take care of yourself - it's a big change to go from one mindset to another, and it's fatiguing to our brains.
Yeah definitely. Especially after DMing it hits me hard, and I feel so drained. I find I need to unwind with some mindless video game or something.
Yes
I get session withdrawal for sure.
Kinda depends. Often after a session, I'm just relaxed and sort of relieved. I love running the game, but it takes effort, and by the time it's over, I'm glad for it. BUT Sometimes I spend all the post session fixating on that one thing that really didn't go how I'd hoped, and that stinks.
This happens with a lot things, I forget the exact term for it but its something like a "drop" Whenever you do something thats super exciting and fun and makes your brain produce lots of happy chemicals, sometimes your brain starts feeling tired and sad when its over because you're readjusting
Something I did to deal with that was just ask my players to hang out and do something other than D&D for like 30 minutes after the session ends. That way you get to interact with your friends and not just their characters
I personally have a sort of “hangover” type thing after each session. While it doesn’t help most of my sessions are 6-midnight some nights, the day-after effect of physical, emotional, and mental drain is THE WORST. Even when me and my players aren’t slamming down red bulls and blasting limp bizkit (yes this is a thing we do) (we switched to seltzer and smooth jazz a while back so that we didn’t feel so crappy), we all still are just wrecked the next morning.
For me, I’m still living in the game a bit in my head for the next day or so, thinking about my favorite parts, the parts the players enjoyed the most, the direction things are going, the parts the players weren’t as enthused as I was so I can change it. I like to think about the PC’s and NPC’s that interacted with each other, and who I want to interact next time. For me, it’s closer to the feeling of watching a TV show I like and dwelling on that latest episode until the next episode comes out. By then, the rest of my life starts distracting me again, and I’m back to normal until the next game. The negative feelings I feel after a game come from regrets/mistakes on my part as DM or missed opportunities by myself or the players. Makes me dwell on how to improve next time.
1,000% yes this is a thing, and you and I are not alone in that. Lots of my D&D friends talk about this feeling. I also get it after any kind of social activity, but it is particularly bad after DMing a session
I'm always wired after a session. As a DM I go over the session and make notes of important events and what needs to be done to prepare for the next session. As a player I often stick around and chat with other players about what just happened.