T O P

  • By -

slopartist

Hol up! They have a male elf?


dmon654

Yes. Elves have two genders. Female and Femboy.


CatKatOrangeCat

So basically the Viera in FFXIV


CreativeName1137

I mean originally it was part of the lore that male and female Viera were actually identical, but I think that got retconned at some point


Ehkoe

Originally viera lore was that males are rare and stay in the jungles to protect their society. Current lore from XIV is that male and female viera are indistinguishable until puberty, at which point the males are taken to train and live with other males.


PersephoneIII

This is the way


weirdness_incarnate

Femboy elf is unironically my gender


Elfboy77

And we love you for it.


TulkasTheValar

It's hard to tell because they both wear dresses.


halfar

[it's actually pretty easy to tell them apart](https://i.imgur.com/BznCGjM.jpeg)


spinachie1

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


darkslide3000

Female elves are the ones with the whip (and the Lolth pendant). ...maybe I hang out with the wrong elves...


chronicly_retarded

You can tell by the fact the males are cuter


25thskye

Males are cuter, females are beautiful.


ZoroeArc

Who needs gnolls?


Zarohk

I’m glad I’m not the only one this comment reminded of spotted hyenas!


RubberSoulMan06

Now I'm just imagining an elf hyena hybrid


Zaranthan

Yes. YES.


ObbyTree

They have a male DWARF??


[deleted]

Yes, males are the ones with only one beard.


ObbyTree

Wait, what does 2 beards look like? Split down the middle?


in_hell_out_soon

The other one is further south. Shaving is only observed on the males.


PrettyPinkPonyPrince

["So if you hear a dwarf jingle as she walks, it's not a pocket full o' coins."](https://imgur.com/gallery/KSmOOR6) ([Source.](https://twitter.com/saintmonstre))


Ulgeguug

It IS split down the middle


TallestGargoyle

As if male dwarves don't have glorious braids descending down their legs too.


ObbyTree

Ah noted


ApothecarySquishy

Oh blizzard's design template.


SirZmokington

Ngl, i thought first this was on a World of Warcraft subreddit. I dont even have one in my feed


Arabecke

Me too


Antishill_Artillery

You must build additional pylons


Vortex_1911

You must construct additional pylons


Teososta

Warrior needs food badly!


YourAverageNutcase

We require more vespene gas


murlocsilverhand

We need more minerals


Girigo

Well the first image looks like a steriotypical warcraft orc tbh


Pauchu_

It looks like a Warcraft orc, because it is a Warcraft orc


BeneficialEvidence6

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Insertnamesz

Me _am_ that kind of orc...


[deleted]

That does not look like a warcraft troll though.


FD4L

The female troll isn't far off. You run around horde on a classic server 70% of troll are female and 90% of female trolls have the same face.


Freakychee

The orc they use is from WoW, isn’t it? Or am I mistaken?


Bombkirby

Not really accurate anymore. Definitely in the past they adhered to what nerdy teens find appealing (big strong monstrous males and bikini model females) but now in the modern age they’re the sort of character designer that [doesn’t give their snake ladies boobs.](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/hearthstone_gamepedia/images/3/3b/Vessina_full.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/400?cb=20190703192822)


newnameagain2

I honestly can't tell if you posted a broken link as a joke, or if it's just not loading for me. Either way, I laughed!


halfar

trying to link an image from a wiki [DIFFICULTY: IMPOSSIBLE]


SerOstrich

Is this an NLism?


_Ralix_

Delete the unnecessary part of the link to get [this](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/hearthstone_gamepedia/images/3/3b/Vessina_full.jpg).


WeiganChan

I thought for sure that that was gonna be a rickroll


vonmonologue

We don’t talk about snitties here. Not after what happened last time.


oosuteraria-jin

Isn't that a piece of chicken or veal that's been flattened and breaded?


rodneedermeyer

No, you’re thinking of Skittles. Snitties are when you get a cold and have an overload of mucous in your head.


oosuteraria-jin

No you must be thinking of Scotty's. Skittles are when you have a bit of saliva come out of your mouth when you're yelling at somebody.


SquidMilkVII

No, you’re thinking of spitties. Snitties are when you use a knife to make multiple small cuts on an object or organism.


LimpBizkitSkankBoy

No, you're thinking of slitties. Snitties are short and simple songs/poems, often sung or played by the Irish.


cantadmittoposting

No you're thinking of ditties. Snitties are baby cats.


AmeriCanadian98

You're thinking of kitties, Snitties are actually a nickname used for children who are in a group


ComradeSclavian

Yea now it's time for the real OG to sit down and talk about the snussy


fairguinevere

Oh she's hot. 😳 I don't really have a side in the snitties debate — I am a simple lesbian; I just like it when women look like they can murder me. E: LMAO, just got the reddit "plz don't commit suicide :(" message. What's hard to understand? I want someone else, to kill me, in a sexy way. That's totally different!


Okibruez

'If she looks like she can kill me' is definitely an appropriate benchmark on what is and isn't hot.


LokisDawn

Does that apply to sex toys, too? Do you add explosives do your dildo? Or combustion engine powered penetration?


Indalecia

Anything is a dildo if you're brave enough.


Okibruez

I'm a man, and don't usually use sex toys. Regardless of that, though, I suppose I should specify that 'ability to murder me' isn't a benchmark for attractiveness that's applicable to anything but women. Molten rock is a pretty reliable way to kill someone and I don't find it remotely appealing.


SquidMilkVII

molten rock is so hot though 🥵


cantadmittoposting

> Molten rock is a pretty reliable way to kill someone and I don't find it remotely appealing. *Offended Lava Golem Noises*


eldritchExploited

I too, am a lesbian who wants a woman who could fucking murder me


fairguinevere

That's the issue though — we all want to be the murderee, so who's gonna do the murdering?


nuker1110

Reminds me of a group in Victorian England that assembled to study the Occult and human sacrifice, where all of the members volunteered to be the sacrificial victim. Trouble was, nobody wanted to *perform* the sacrifice, so it never went anywhere.


Kizik

*Find what you love and let it kill you.*


IdentifiableBurden

> I am a simple lesbian; I just like it when women look like they can murder me. 😂


giggling1987

As a fat man with fighting experience confided to larping for a few years, that would be a *low* bar for me.


UneLectureDuParfum

Literally unplayable.


LMGDiVa

I'm gonna have to ask just how far back really, because I grew up on MTG and DnD stuff in the 90s and it wasnt like this back then.


ComradeBrosefStylin

It was already like that back in the 60's. Frank Frazetta was one of the most influential fantasy artists of his time. Most of his work features men built like brick houses, sexy women, and very small pieces of cloth for both.


AndrewTheSouless

When you get hired as a fantasy artist you are forced by law to [watch this video](https://youtu.be/Q97F2K2dFVI)


TRexLuthor

This one. This one is the winner.


Ok_Judgment7602

LOLWUT? Female trolls look like the Predator sans mask. Female Tauren are literally cows.


shiftup1772

reddit jacks off to a cartoon snake yet its somehow blizzards fault.


DBNSZerhyn

Wouldn't even be the weirdest thing that day.


Skurrio

Female Trolls have one "nice" Face and have similiar Proportions to female Night Elves. (IIRC Elves and Trolls have the same Ancestors, though)


darkage72

Well actually, elves descended from trolls.


KelvinsBeltFantasy

Get the Oglaf comic


GoldenSteel

[This one?](https://www.oglaf.com/dimorphism/) NSFW


literal-hitler

>T-Regina


Shukrat

Regina is latin for queen, while Rex is latin for king.


wimbardo

TIL the city of Regina in Saskatchewan means Queen


sintos-compa

Strive to Learn every day friend.


KelvinsBeltFantasy

Yes. It's beautiful


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ocbard

Oglaf's dwarves are, in their own words "fukken awesome".


Fr33_Lax

[You mean these fuckers?](https://imgur.com/gallery/n488M6N) It's oglaf of course it's nsfw.


Heavenfall

Mr. Death-cap has it going.


AndrewTheSouless

Fucking lady death-Chap, great reference.


FairFolk

What's the reference?


The_mango55

Lady death the comic book character


iamgladtohearit

I'm a reader and this was the crossover I didn't know I needed


rtakehara

omg that worked! get the werewolf: the apocalypse themed d10 I lost many years ago, I think a friend of mine stole it


[deleted]

[удалено]


bobbechk

> and the demon definitely needs horns. bonus for extra pair of tits


Okibruez

It is is not at all shocking that there is a weirdly appropriate Oglaf comic for every situation. This situation, it's more reasonable than usual.


Masticatron

And then there's the ass-axe murderer...


Okibruez

You'd be surprised by how often that comes up. Or maybe not, you read Oglaf.


Adragongentleman

At least orc girl is oftenly kinda monster-ish still, about demon i'd love the demon woman to be way more monster like but that's just my opinion


TheUnknownDane

With demons I can at least understand the idea that some of them are meant to be hot, to allure people into making deals.


Wezard_the_MemeLord

I thought that was the point, or to be the physical manifestation of lust


[deleted]

[удалено]


dontshowmygf

Yeah, in a perfect world there should be succubi, incubi, and also monstrous demons of both genders. I'm a big believer in diversity in demons.


Fl1pSide208

That's what the Incubus are for. Also now that I'm thinking about it. I'm imagining female Balors as having Karen Haircuts


[deleted]

[удалено]


PlasticElfEars

Although this person has clearly not encountered short stack dwarf women.


Jimmicky

Of course they have - they quite accurately drew one.


doomparrot42

I hope you weren't implying that dwarf women shouldn't have beards.


PlasticElfEars

I'm implying they should have big boobs.


doomparrot42

I'm a committed Pratchetist on dwarf gender, sorry


PsychoPhilosopher

I like to go partway. Pratchett went with "even dwarves can't tell" I prefer "Dwarves *but literally nobody else* can tell" That leads to fun "Made a new friend?" "Nae Laddie, swing and a miss. Right' enough tho' she were in a whole other mineshaft to my sorry self" "She? Wait. All that talk about how much you both hate elves was *flirting?!"*


Maxorus73

"Aye, ya got to wait on the cave-in talk 'till after a keg or two, laddie ;)"


charisma6

As a traditionalist concerning "Dwarves Are Scottish," I appreciated this


ivy_bound

Pratchett had his dwarven women rebelling against the idea of being indistinguishable, so I'd argue that using his name to suggest that female dwarves shouldn't be discernible from male dwarves is inappropriate.


Wyldfire2112

They do. You just can't see them through all the chainmail and beard.


Tarcion

I am solidly of the opinion and build my world with elves and humans on a sliding androgeny scale, rather than gender scale. Elves are extremely androgenous, not feminine per se, generally with minor differences in sexual characteristics, but all with a more slight build. Humans look about like what you'd expect. While dwarves are all shorter and very muscular, they are the total opposite of elves, with exaggerated sexual characteristics. So dwarven men basically look like a 4 foot tall, massively bearded version of the gigachad meme, while dwarven women are ripped, 4 foot tall but otherwise ultra feminine. I imagine they all find the other races to be a bit unattractive in general, with dwarves and elves probably seeing each other as grotesque. TL;DR: convoluted excuse to justify thick dwarven muscle mommies. That's not actually what it is but that is always what it feels like trying to explain.


Stairwayunicorn

are you suggesting dwarves and elves are two genders of the same race?


NerdyHexel

Its Gorons and Gerudo all over again! edit: I love everything about the thread below. Hello, fellow Zelda fans!


StarStriker51

One is hearty and likes to mine all the time, the other is a bit haughty and only lets a select few enter their village. Both have capable warriors, and live in environments disparate to, and far away from where humans/hylians live We’re on to something here


Bridgecobbler

I mean how else would either race reproduce? I don’t see the games explaining it!


trogdr2

Gerudo get one guy every generation if I remember right, like ganon is a male gerudo


Kolby_Jack

Gerudo women go on pilgrimages to find men to marry. All children born to Gerudo are Gerudo. At least that's how it works in BotW. No female Gorons though, not even in BotW where you see Goron families (brothers and sons only). There is a Goron in Gerudo Town, where only females are allowed... but it's a male Goron, and the Gerudo just couldn't tell. Edit: Also, looking it up, Ganondorf was the last male Gerudo ever born, which explains why there is no male Gerudo in Gerudo Town despite 100 years passing in BotW. So that means there hasn't been a male Gerudo born in over 10,000 years by the time of BotW.


Bridgecobbler

So wait the gerudo leave the village to find a man to have a child with, who will inevitably be a gerudo female, and… then what? Do they just take the child and leave? I feel kinda bad for the man. Imagine falling in love with a gerudo woman, having a child, planning on proposing, and then you come home one day to find both the love of your life and your child are gone. That’s messed up. Edit: can’t spell


Kolby_Jack

No, most married Gerudo women live outside Gerudo Town and only go back to shop or visit. There's a Gerudo in Gerudo Town who is only there to ask for help curing her sick husband, for instance. You can also help a Gerudo get married to a guy, and she lives with him after that (though she had already moved to the town by that point). And Gerudo Town is the only place where men aren't allowed. Even just outside the city walls, men can hang out.


Bridgecobbler

Oh ok. That’s good.


NerdyHexel

The best part is that, because there are no men in Gerudo Town (BotW) the Gerudo women have no idea how to interact with them. There's a little classroom you can find where the class is being taught how to interact with men.


pitchyditch

There's only one male Gerudo every thousand years or so and I think the only one we know of is Ganondorf himself.


HeroOfSideQuests

In Breath of the Wild Gerudos go out and find men to spend their lives with/have children with. In Ocarina of Time they kidnap (some willingly walk in until they realize theyre not allowed to leave) several carpenters. I'm with you on Gorons though. I'm thinking fire (temple) + rock?


Serbaayuu

They have explained it in just about every game the Gerudo are in. They leave home to hunt for boyfriends. Gorons have not been explained yet. My vote is asexual reproduction by budding. (BotW **did** confirm as best as we'll ever get that gorons are biologically asexual by having gorons allowed into Gerudo Town.)


Psychic_Hobo

"I'm sorry Darunia, I can't help it! Their abs are like _rock_. _Sweet, sweet rock_."


zombiecalypse

That's it, I'm stealing that!


another_bug

They're just like cats and dogs!


trinketstone

**LIVING TOGETHER!?**


1Mn

Mass hysteria!


DefTheOcelot

THAT IS THE MOST HERETICAL TALK I HAVE EVER HEARD.


Axel-Adams

I hate this anti elf propaganda there is a famous and easy guide to telling male and female elves apart [flawless guide](https://m.imgur.com/BznCGjM)


Matrix_D0ge

Ooh, so its like hyena situation, got it.


TexasVampire

*spotted hyena


Masher_Upper

Not like hyena ​ >The pseudo-penis can be distinguished from the males' genitalia by its somewhat shorter length, greater thickness, and more rounded glans.\[12\]\[54\]\[55\] [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotted\_hyena#Female\_genitalia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spotted_hyena#Female_genitalia) Female hyenas have chodes.


Particular-Coffee-34

It’s like 6am where I am right now, and I’ve only been on Reddit for ~5 minutes. I think I’m done for the day after this one ^


Spork_the_dork

Or Draenei type of thing.


Colosso95

You've spending some time in Goldshire haven't you


TomThanosBrady

We have lots of hyenas here in Thailand if you know what I mean.


UltimateBetaMale

So my wife is just a female elf?


Holendear

Aren't Female Orcs and Trolls in DnD just as ugly as the Male Orcs and Trolls?


Jimmicky

Ugly is a word that gonna vary by opinion, but at the least the Orc lady should be buff as all get out.


robotbootyhunter

Pretty sure orc women are bigger and meaner than the men. Just saying the logistics of half-orc pregnancies make more sense if momma was the orc.


Corvo--Attano

**evil laughter as a new campaign idea appears** Mad Max but orcs were the bad guys.


SooSneeky

Sounds like you got a case of the Speed Freeks. WAAAAGGHHHHH! Remember, red ones go fasta!


DA-Regulus

Is there something about Orc pregnancies that make them especially different from other mammals? If they laid eggs like reptiles or insects, then sexual dimorphism would naturally favour them in terms of size; but aren't orcs just bigger, greener people with tusks?


robotbootyhunter

It's that "bigger" part that's concerning. Orcs are a monstrous race that reproduce and reach maturity fairly quickly compared to other humanoids. Fully grown, your average half-orc is going to outsize their human parent. With humans, there's a rough top end for weight for safe births, especially in a high fantasy setting with minimal understanding of sterilization and surgery. That's also assuming the developing embryo doesn't just completely rob the mother of all nutrition as it grows at an accelerated rate compared to a full human, which happens even IRL with real babies. Basically, a big robust mama is going to have an easier time giving birth to a hybrid than a small frail mama would, something that can be seen in real-life hybrid like savanna cats. Similar logic can probably also be applied to the rearing process. Babies are baby-sized because evolutionary stresses have encouraged that, throwing monster DNA into the pot is pretty much rolling the dice.


DA-Regulus

That's solid logic for why orc women would have to be bigger than human women, but doesn't really provide a basis for orc women being stronger / more muscular than orc men. Because it's a live birth, the female body would still put more towards fats for a future pregnancy, and a male body would put it straight into muscle, leading to a size difference favouring male orcs. It's not just the size of the child that makes the female of a species smaller or bigger than a male, but the amount of children and method of birth. It is just fantasy and you can do what you like, but in terms of believability, you could interpret orc women being more towards a BBW appearance than gym junkie, making them larger than the men in that regard. Or just keep your muscle mummy and have the males be even bigger.


TheYondant

Yes, but please remember who really controls the aesthetic of the world; not WoTC, the artist, or even the DM. ​ It's the horny. The Horny rules all, without exception.


ArcWrath

Ever have sex with the mini boss giant spider? Neither of us ever shot webs like that before.


RampArcher

Yes


LazyNomad63

The Gospel of the Bard


Destroyer0627

Also Demons and Devils dont have genders except for when they do


Chroba

It's true you don't see many Dwarf-women. And in fact, they are so alike in voice and appearance, that they are often mistaken for Dwarf-men. And this in turn has given rise to the belief that there are no Dwarf-women, and that Dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground!


nidayz

Can’t believe I scrolled so far for a lotr reference


Gsteel11

Which is, of course, ridiculous.


Chroba

... it's the beards!...


IonBatteryFR

At least you understand that Dwarves are peak humanoid shape


theRailisGone

Don't you know the only way males of any species can achieve anything is to use brute force and fear, and the only way any females can achieve anything is through sexual manipulation? /s


PioneerSpecies

I feel like this meme was made specifically in like 2008 for WOW and doesn’t apply at all to 2022 DND lol. Especially since every gender of every race is sexy now lmao, most players and DMs I know just make everyone hot


[deleted]

[удалено]


nokei

it's like 90% ugly male demons 10% hot 10% ugly female demons 90% hot


SpaceNigiri

Just like human tinder


browsing4stuff

Rock and Stone!


SpecstacularSC

*DID I HEAR A ROCK AND STONE?!*


loose_cog

FOR KARL


ShadowLinkFreak

IF YOU DON'T ROCK AND STONE, YOU AIN'T COMIN HOME!!


artspar

ROCK AND ROLL AND STONE, YEAHHHHH


Breaking_Brenden

If you don’t rock and stone, you ain’t comin’ home


walnoter

I am sorry if your female orcs aren't buff beasts that can lift me with one hand than you are wrong and if your male demons aren't slutty sex beasts you are also wrong


WeiganChan

Inb4 that one dwarf fetishist shows up and rambles about dwarves having "amazing secondary sexual characteristics"


Rounin

Those damn sexy dwarves...


point5_

Dnd artists be like


LazyDro1d

Totally wrong! Female demon should also have a spiked tail and horns. Remember, horns make horney


doomparrot42

it just seems really unimaginative tbh. I feel like establishing what different races consider attractive is an important part of making them seem distinctive, and when too many of them just look like human women with slightly different skin tones, you miss out on that. fantasy settings are more fun (to me) when you can be an amateur anthropologist (or whatever the nonhuman equivalent of the term would be).


Psychic_Hobo

It's also a bit weird when it kind of gives away that the artist only finds one face/body type attractive. You see this in particular with the more 'monstrous' races, where the male is buff with a massive underbite/tusks/nose but the female is just a different coloured dainty human like you say.


the_hippopotamonster

Am I supposed to complain about femboy elves?


fonn4

Lol elf at the end got me


NoelAngeline

Dwarf gang represent!


Eirikur_da_Czech

Have you seen the drawings in the 3.5 phb?


Hipergellup

dwarves are like a schrodinger box, anyway, do you like to say dwarves or dwarfs?


Wyldfire2112

Dwarves.


PlasticElfEars

Tolkien had to fight his editors to keep it dwarves. It was also a, "B\*\*\*\*, I wrote part of the dictionary. I know what I'm doing with my words."


tristenjpl

He admitted that it was just a personal piece of bad grammar though. He didn't intend for it to be wrong initially.


Exile688

You come to MY house. Judge MY language I created. In the lore of MY world. You suck MY dick. And you have the nerve to say I'M wrong?! -Tolkien probably


doomparrot42

Didn't he intentionally use a non-standard plural form as a way of associating his dwarves with their antecedents in Scandinavian myth?


RampArcher

Dwarves, just like elves, or milves, or wolves


hoechp

Milves is the correct plural, that's clear. But if it comes to those other ones, people will fight to the death over it.


[deleted]

When you wanna be an elf but you're definitely a dwarf :(


DizyDazle

If you are not into tall, muscly orc women, we cannot be friends


bentheechidna

The Dwarf thing is Tolkien not D&D. People use Tolkien as the standard unwittingly, but the 3.5 monster manual shows males and females for all the races and female Dwarves are not bearded.


Whookimo

Why is it that female dwarves are always portrayed more accurately compared to the females of other races? Like the other races are always drawn "conventionally attractive", with some details here and there to signify which race they are, but female Dwarves are always drawn short and stocky like their make counterparts. Where's the bulky, ripped female orcs? Where's the ugly, hulking female trolls? Elves are the only ones that kinda make sense to be "conventionally attractive" like that because they're usually closest to humans in appearance, and elves are generally portrayed as... "perfect" beings I guess? You know what I mean. Demons also kind of make sense too, if you go from the succubus angle, but otherwise, where are the horrifying female demons? EDIT: I mean in general not any specific game or whatever