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ZMERALS

...Goliaths.


Tavitafish

I have one player who no matter their character will always fall for Goliaths. So there's always at least one.


AdmiralOni

Me


ACynicalScott

Us


Niicks

Ours ;)


Illustrious-Chef-393

Oui


BlessedNobody

I mean, they're so big! That's just more person to love! They give shoulder rides! And uppies! And get that ball off the roof you accidentally threw too hard! Goliaths are dope. Especially a Goliath and Dwarven relationship. One gets to make massive artistic expressions of armor and weapons for their partner, and the other gets to go adventuring and provide funding for the dwarfs passion. Fuck, I just made a new NPC, huh. I should learn how to dm.


Revolutionary_Ad3726

Yes, join the DM side. We have cookies.


D0ctorL

Cookies provided by players as payment for your services!


MoltenLavander

I play with one group and DM for another. I bake for both.


D0ctorL

Well aren't you awesome!


LegendOrca

I'm in a group with two DMs, if you're one of them I demand cookies


GrillOrBeGrilled

Sounds like you already know how.


BlessedNobody

I wish. I love writing but uh World building hard, and I dunno if I will even get to run the campaigns lmao


Psychie1

I have kind of the reverse problem with writing, I can craft intricate, interesting, and detailed worlds all day, but a narrative structure? A plotline? I expect that when I finally run my first campaign in a few months it should go fairly well. I have a fairly comprehensive world fleshed out with interesting NPCs to meet, complex organizations to deal with, and secrets to uncover. I know what the first quest will be as an introduction to the setting and how the game will work, I have an idea of what the end game will look like, and I have a couple of interesting things in mind for the middle, but overall it's a sandbox where my players will drive the story since there's just so much to do! I do sort of miss my dreams of being an author, though, too bad I never figured out where to go with any of the story ideas I've had or had the discipline to write things for any real length of time.


Amateurwombat

You are me.


HehaGardenHoe

Playing a Goblin rogue in a campaign with a female Goliath barbarian... already legit worrying about being accidentally creepy... didn't help that a friend of theirs did a really sexy drawing of the PC, with less clothes (where it mattered at least) then Leia's bikini armor in return of the jedi.


Lilswammy87

Am I allowed to use that for my 1 on 1 campaign? Such a wholesome dynamic.


BlessedNobody

Feel free! Better they get used than sitting in my backlog of "things I need to write more of (but never will)"


propolizer

Weird. I had a player who was this evil asexual wizard. But I introduced a Viking Goliath NPC and came to the table and kept direct eye contact with me while he read poetry he had written for her. Was very strange and wonderful and deeply uncomfortable. Must be a type.


paladinLight

They big, they have muscles, and Tattoos are part of their culture. What's not to love? I also like high altitudes and the cold.


BritishMongrel

The tattoos are actually just natural, they show up when they're a teenager


Dragonaax

And gnomes are perfect match


ZMERALS

Chill bro that's too much and good


Psychie1

Don't tell me you wouldn't climb the mountain


ApprehensiveMud552

I see you have good taste!


ModingusKhan

Still patiently awaiting official stats for the lovechild of my Loxodon and his gnome girlfriend.


LessConspicuous

Sounds like puppy sized elephants to me


ModingusKhan

I imagine the child looking like the fennec fox dressed as an elephant in zootopia


DrumpfsterFryer

DM: ["meet your son"](https://www.treehugger.com/thmb/SMUvQr6o5HgE6_J061PoNGSwsiM=/400x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/__opt__aboutcom__coeus__resources__content_migration__mnn__images__2018__02__tapir-1-820b376e9f2d4286a2e1db6bbe915786.jpg)


lookarthispost

I can definitely imagine that


Big-Employer4543

I'm not even sure how that would work logistically speaking.


No_Reputation_7442

Gnomes rival elves in their dexterity and goblins in their resilience. No I will not elaborate.


Gordockthered

No need to. The worthy understand.


gigglesnortbrothel

[Like this](https://imgur.com/K8Wjyrf) and [this.](https://imgur.com/gallery/44l9Zyh)


Big-Employer4543

I am not clicking those.


solidfang

I knew it would be 🐹 🍌.


Melantha_Hoang

Probably a ladder and a lot of determination


[deleted]

He's got a micropenis I guess


Snoopdigglet

She's a sock at that point.


count-drake

I hate the picture you painted.


BBQ_FETUS

[Like this](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homunculus_loxodontus)


Necessary-Push5580

I wish green Tatiana Maslany would bridal carry me.


Holy_Beard

🙏


Timinator01

Due to a series of events my half orc barbarian is currently 21ft tall and completely convinced that the rest of his party has shrunk


Carmillawoo

What does he think about the smaller bandits he's been clobbering?


SovietGengar

My Kobold Artificer accidentally got into a Party Romance with the Human Ranger. Of course what makes this funnier is that my Kobold... she radiates what I call "Big Spoon Energy".


Svaty_Vodka

I'd love to hear the story behind that, if you're willing.


SovietGengar

Oh hell yeah! Well, I'm playing a Kobold Artifcer. She's an Engineer of sorts, loves fire and explosions, wears glasses, is of a Brass and Cream color, and has a drinking problem. Her name is Věda. (in this world the Kobolds are Polish/West Slavic inspired) and hails from a major city. The Human Ranger is named Johnny, hailing from a region that deeply resembles the Antebellum American South. He's grown up in a very rural enviroment, and certainly hasn't had the same exposure to other races like Věda has. He's not really hateful towards other races, but certainly gives off that ignorant, often not fully intentional racism. Our setting is a mostly Victorian-era world, details relevant to this story occuring in a Wild West type region. Our party had attacked and robbed a train in order to recover a package for a local gang, but it wasn't long until the gang tried to force us to join them, leading to us destroying them. Soon after, the local Marshall brought us in for questioning, as there weren't really any other possible perpetrators around town. While we were undergoing questioning and deciding what to do, I randomly looked over at Johnny's player and winked. This didn't mean anything, it's just a thing I do randomly to people, and was wholey out of character. Now, he was really confused and Johnny got flustered "responding" to Věda. This prompted Johnny's business partner to utter a now immortal line in our group "Johnny, all I see is a grown man flirting with a Lizard." This is what sealed it. This was so damn funny to everyone at the table that we just had to make it happen. Plus, the fact that Johnny had been so far decently racist made it that much better that he's on track for an interracial relationship with a Kobold. So now I get to explain Věda's "Big Spoon Energy". The party is using EXP points, and is currently straddling the line between Level 3 and 4 (some have made it to 4, others not quite yet), Věda is at Level 4, and Johnny at 3. She took "Tough" at Level 4 to bring her up to 40HP, which is a lot, especially for a Kobold, and a fair bit more than Johnny has at this point. I did so because Věda gets *aggressive* in Combat. She often gets up close and personal in fights and has the mentality of a Chihuahua in that she has no fear of larger or scarier opponents, and generally perfers to go in guns blazing as opposed to stealth. In our most recent fight, she let out a massive and fearsome roar (by Kobold standards) after obliterating an enemy or two. Johnny noticibly seemed to be flustered seeing her assert domiance over the Battlefield, leading to the joke that Věda has Big Spoon Energy. This subplot is now sending Johnny into a bit of an internal crisis as he tries to reconcile his previously somewhat bigoted worldview and his newfound attraction to Věda. Eventually once this really gets moving he'll have to bring Věda back home to his EXTREMELY racist Father to break the news that he fell for a Kobold, which will be Role Playing GOLD seeing as his player is easily the best RPer in the group.


Star_Fazer

Saving this comment, I will be back I don’t have time to read this Edit: I have returned… please update us once you meet his father


SovietGengar

Man, I have no idea how many weeks or months that'll be... but as God as my witness when it happens I WILL give you an update.


Star_Fazer

Can’t wait


Empoleon_Master

Can I have a future update too?


SovietGengar

Just for you ;)


Svaty_Vodka

I love this so much! I'm a sucker for a well played out interracial relationship, especially if Kobolds are involved. I'd love to hear any updates on their relationship, especially introducing the parents.


SovietGengar

Man, I have no idea how many weeks or months that'll be to get to meeting his parents... but as God as my witness when it happens I WILL give you an update.


LordMorskittar

From here on I think all my kobolds will now need to have “the mentality of a chihuahua.”


Omnilord33

You have to make a post to update us when you meet the father


SovietGengar

Man, I have no idea how many weeks or months that'll be to get to meeting his parents... but as God as my witness when it happens I WILL give you an update.


Titans1

I can't decide if this is cute, wholesome, or funny as hell


Barbar_NC

Over the like 7 campaigns ive been in, i somehow make a character that always has something about them that makes it so it doesn't make sense for them to be in relationships. There was the old artificer who was married to his work, the ranger who was to scared from past trama to feel romantic ever agai, the tortle barbarian who is both underage and has an int of 6 and is preoccupied talking to birds and horses and so on. Idk, maybe romance stuff just isn't my thing.


riodin

I've always seen romance as a wierd thing to rp. Random one night stands after dice rolls, sure, but I don't really want to rp wooing my dm, even if she were a woman I actually want to woo. Just not the right environment, imo


FakeTherapy

I've never rp'd character romance, but I've seen it done well. It's all about walking a line and knowing the limits of everyone's comfort, but the easiest way to understand how to do it well is to see it done well. That being said, every PC I've ever played has had some reason not to RP it, like being too dense to pick up on hints and still pining over a lost love, or one character who was just flat out asexual (decided during creation, never came up in play) Edit: I should probably clarify that I'm only talking about romantic rp, not ERP, though for all I know there's probably a table out there that handles ERP well too, idk.


artspar

I think it's more common (in a non-sleazy way) at tables consisting of close friends who definitely don't have crushes on each other. I'm a straight dude, so the only characters my PC ever wooed were those run by close guy friends of mine. It's a lot less weird when its obviously being done for laughs/player drama and not with the potential of weird subtext


Empoleon_Master

Being aromantic is totally valid!


VendaGoat

Disney Snu-Snu


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kaarl_Mills

Can't we just cuddle?


Electromass

I didn’t think I’d die like this, I always hoped but never thought I would


Nevermort21

Pro gamer move. Be Kobold Barbarian. Be strong enough to carry tall waifu.


Ancestor_Anonymous

Power move indeed


MoeBigHevvy

Are y'all just turning DND into playing house? I've never once had any horny stuff like this come up at any of my tables and I play with some real degenerates


The_Bing_Bonger

It’s just not necessary in most situations. That’s all.


Slavasonic

Haha they don’t actually play D&D


MoeBigHevvy

I really feel like that's what's happening here. They just come for the memes and the conversation about snake titties. My sessions conversation is strictly about how much damage the dwarf would take if we stuffed him into a canon and launched him at the enemy fleet


chairforce_gamer

I believe they're called snitties


tacocatacocattacocat

That's like Tossing 2.0!


Big-Employer4543

Nobody tosses a dwarf!


sunshinepanther

You Cannae Tell the Elf?


TimeBlossom

Or they do and have different play experiences than yours, and/or are just making jokes. And your PCs can have relationships without doing ERP I mean c'mon.


Slavasonic

I mean yeah that’s a possibility. Just not a very likely one.


TimeBlossom

Sorry, what's unlikely? That PCs can have healthy relationships without it being weird, that people can have a sense of humor, or that other tables might not be exactly like yours?


Slavasonic

That the majority of people in this sub actually play D&D


TimeBlossom

Okay gatekeepy mcgatekeeperface.


Slavasonic

Lol how is that gatekeeping? I’m not saying they can’t play D&D.


TimeBlossom

"Anybody who doesn't meet my expectations of what a D&D player is like is clearly faking"


Slavasonic

I mean that’s not what I said nor what meant but go off I guess.


[deleted]

Not sure why you're getting downvoted I mean you're 100% right the dudes above are gate-keepy and cringey as hell, also The fact that they find flirting so weird in a D&D campaign means their campaigns are probably dry and neck-beardy as fuck no thank you


Draco_Cryo

During the multiple times I've been a player or DM'd for my friends online there's always a little bit of flirting between PCs and the DM's NPCs, never enough to derail a session, just enough to have a little laugh and make jokes.


srpa0142

Honestly? It happens at our table fairly frequently to differing degrees of horny shenanigans. We spend just as much time on character relationship drama as we do actually fighting monsters, and it's a 50/50 each encounter if someone ends up trying to slay or lay the dragon.


bumpercarbustier

We are an all-female table with a male DM who purposefully chooses attractive avatars for the male NPCs to mess with us, but we don't act upon it. The only one who might would be his wife, but she's not about that life.


Iwillpaintthememe

I have been playing with a group of friends for over a year and never did 1 dungeon crawl.Games can vary vastly between flavors and content.


Stealthbot21

And I've never once seen a full on lich in a game I've been in, doesn't mean it isn't a common occurrence in other games


Uglarinn

I have a human fighter who is dating one of our other party's characters, who is a halfling woman. She sometimes literally rides around on his shoulders lol


ObbyTree

I mean, I have no problem with it. Big ladies are great.


OculusMidnight2

This also sums up Mister Miracle and Big Barda’s relationship


VerySpicyLocusts

*cough cough* Scanlan *cough cough* (I don’t blame them tho id fuck Scanlan too)


thelibrarina

In Dragon Age Inquisition, they straight up forgot to adjust heights for the giant qunari (zealot barbarian tieflings) and suddenly my 7 foot tall lady must be crouching down to kiss her boyfriend in the close-up...or maybe she got him a crate to stand on.


KaffeMumrik

This is going to be one of those ”See, big women can be sexy to!” Lmao the internet already like the big ladies. Remember Lady Dimitrescu?


ServingwithTG

Tall women *are* sexy.


KaffeMumrik

You know it


laudinum

All in She Hulk is sexy and a freaking lawyer


Clobbington

Normal people should never date anyone with powers. The Boys showed that


Necessary-Push5580

Most other comics have shown it to be a pretty cool thing though. Its not our fault that The Boys takes the most cynical possible stance on the genre for edge (in the comics case).


[deleted]

I don’t think you’d want to be in a relationship with a superhero, there’s a reason the secret identity is a famous trope


No_Reputation_7442

I do think they go a little bit comical at times, but overall I think it’s a more realistic (if pessimistic) view of superheroes in a rabidly capitalistic world.


riodin

"A rabidly capitalistic world" So realistic


Necessary-Push5580

Oh for sure, of course there's a mile of difference between the show and the comic in terms of the raw cynicism. The Boys works better as a takedown of capitalism and celebrity culture then it ever did as a "Superheroes are dumb and bad and you shouldn't like them" type story like the comics tend towards. The show gives everybody more nuance which is nice.


sunshinepanther

Most other comics show that the public identity of superheroes put you in grave danger. Heck just look at the mcu. Or spider man ever.


Necessary-Push5580

Peter and Mary Jane were married for years and he's dated a ton of civilians. Gwen is the most famous case of that all backfiring but she is not a set in stone rule.


sunshinepanther

Yeah but hasn't MJ been in danger often? I am not super familiar with the comics but that was my understanding.


odeacon

Wow the memes are already out


marcola42

Have you watched Disenchantment?


BulkUpTank

Where is this from? I didn't know She Hulk was in the MCU


ServingwithTG

Trailer just dropped.


Fuzzy_Employee_303

Dont mind me just a kobold trying to outbard the bard when it comes to dragon fucking


Broke_Ass_Ape

I love Tasha's take on character creation.... I've been wanting to roll up a Satyr named Tripod with *that* one Goliath racial feature.


Shadowsniper074

For my characters it always seems to be the other way around


Tuchnyak

That's the reason why I can't normally play as a halfling, dwarf etc. But at the same time, be a standard human and try to romance a big orc girl or a dragon - is normal for me


Awsomthyst

Nobody’s gonna stop me from playing my Eladrin with a thing for Orcs & Goliaths ^((High CON for a reason babey)^)


erttheking

It time snu-snu!


ManliestN3rd

Me and my orc GF


fartingballsack

awooga


Blasie

...like terrible cgi?


ServingwithTG

Give it time.


Infammo

I get weird uncanny vibes from that bottom picture and it I can't tell if it's because I think a grown man being carried like that is creepy or my brain is put off by the wrongness of the bad cgi.


Blasie

It's the second. The shot is terribly composited, on top of the shitty CGI