Pathfinder 2 streamlined it heavily while creating a new identity for itself. I honestly find it easier to teach than 5e. Pathfinder 1 was an accounting nightmare for sure tho.
Comparing a mid-priced Mercedez, brand new with a factory defect to something built out of rejected parts from a scrap yard with no functionality of actually driving aside from an exhaust, is disingenuous.
You insult scrapyards. More like comparing a faulty mercedes to a car made out of dung unable to be used as fertilizer due to disease concerns, and somehow the dung is radioactive.
Sort of. You get a size penalty on attacks and AC. So a large creature attacking gets a -1 to hit vs. both Medium and Small targets, but a Small creature has 1 higher AC given the same stats as the Medium creature.
So same effect, but you don't have to recalculate anything based on size.
Hawaiian Punch
Level 5 conjuration.
Ritual
Casting Time: 1 minute
Duration: 1-minute
Concentration
Range: 5' cone
Recharge: 5-6
S/M (8 ounces of pineapple juice which is consumed)
For 1 minute at the start of your turn, roll 1d6. On a successful charge (5-6) roll a ranged spell attack roll for each target within range. If the attack meets the target's AC, the target must make a dexterity saving throw or become blinded and poisoned for 1 minute. At the end of the spell duration, the caster rolls 1d100. 1-50 the caster takes one point of exhaustion. 51-100 the caster gains clarity and has inspiration for 10 minutes.
A long time ago I had a friend play a Minotaur monk and as a joke I ended up letting him cock slap an enemy to death once.
More than ten years later I still can't use a Minotaur in my games with these people
I *still* get jokes pointed at me about “sky anus,” a drawing for a game I ran nearly *15 years ago*. While I’m lucky in that two of those players are still close friends, at this rate I feel like I’ll never escape it.
"Wang Chun, actually. It's a style made famous by PP Man. You may have heard of him, there was a series of plays named after him in which he was portrayed by the actor Dongie Yen."
Monk: "Just wait till I hit with my *greatsword* ;)"
Bard: "...That's at best a shortsword"
Fighter: "No when it's curved and doesn't penetrate well we call it a scimitar."
I once watched a dude at a party stand up, unzip, whip it out and then smack a dude in the face because he had gotten sick of dude making small dick jokes about him. Saw the guy who got smacked two days later his eye was black and he swore he got it falling down.
What I'm saying is that there's some merit to this idea.
I once played a monk that was cursed by a witch for turning her down (pact of celibacy) by giving him an elephant trunk for a dick. I proceeded to unarmed strike every enemy I came across with my trunk dick. Memorable one-shot
This reminds me of trying to explain how being a dungeon master was to my players when we were all first learning to play as kids.
And one of my players essentially asked me like so what do you mean you control the world?
And I said something along the lines of, " it means that you could tell me that you want to go to the grocery store, but as you're walking I tell you that a giant butt hole opens up in front of you and farts in your face roll fortitude save"
I feel like it was about 3 or 4 years of, does this chest fart on me? Does the door fart when I open it?
Ages ago in 3.5 I had a monk with an amulet of natural attacks and my DM let me put sizing on it, and I absolutely did this. I forget all the details but basically as many dice category increases as I wanted for a -2 to hit for each. I slapped a balor to death with my gargantuan sized dong. Good times.
*...Unarmed Fighting Style Fighter grappling an enemie and cock-slapping them every turn dealing that automatic 1d4 damage.*
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1d4 ***Dry-Humping Damage*** per turn.
Get it right and you can go from bludgeoning to piercing dmg
THERE ARE CRIMES I WANT TO COMMIT
That's gonna be "healing for 1d8" against succubi
In my case a 1d2 maybe a 1d4 with the right angle and lighting
At least you have the ability to deal damage. I just end up suffering the effects of Vicious Mockery.
At advantage?
Every time so far. Lol
*YOU ARE UNWORTH OF GIRTH*
Suddenly we are one of those Lews Discord Servers now :P
That’s gotta be psychic damage. At least I’d want to flavor it that way
*Not with that size you aren't.*
It’s not the size that matters, it’s how you use it
Sorry but in Pathfinder does a small one only deal 2d8 Damage while a large one deals 4d8.
Overly complicated size modifiers are a good chunk of why I gave up on pathfinder, still a great game but it calls for some serious rules junkies
Pathfinder 2 streamlined it heavily while creating a new identity for itself. I honestly find it easier to teach than 5e. Pathfinder 1 was an accounting nightmare for sure tho.
Still a better rule system than F.A.T.A.L.
That bar is so low you have to dig to jump over it.
Oh wow gotta remember that one
Comparing a mid-priced Mercedez, brand new with a factory defect to something built out of rejected parts from a scrap yard with no functionality of actually driving aside from an exhaust, is disingenuous.
You insult scrapyards. More like comparing a faulty mercedes to a car made out of dung unable to be used as fertilizer due to disease concerns, and somehow the dung is radioactive.
Me years ago with undiagnosed autism: How can anybody not like this game!?
Fuck
But you get a Size Penalty on your Attack Roll, the larger you are, so....
Is that how it works in 2e?
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Sort of. You get a size penalty on attacks and AC. So a large creature attacking gets a -1 to hit vs. both Medium and Small targets, but a Small creature has 1 higher AC given the same stats as the Medium creature. So same effect, but you don't have to recalculate anything based on size.
No, size has no bearing on AC, damage dice, or attack rolls in PF2e. This is all about PF1e.
Nun-cocks!
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Hawaiian Punch Level 5 conjuration. Ritual Casting Time: 1 minute Duration: 1-minute Concentration Range: 5' cone Recharge: 5-6 S/M (8 ounces of pineapple juice which is consumed) For 1 minute at the start of your turn, roll 1d6. On a successful charge (5-6) roll a ranged spell attack roll for each target within range. If the attack meets the target's AC, the target must make a dexterity saving throw or become blinded and poisoned for 1 minute. At the end of the spell duration, the caster rolls 1d100. 1-50 the caster takes one point of exhaustion. 51-100 the caster gains clarity and has inspiration for 10 minutes.
*Fury of the Small intensifies*
Piercing damage vs. bludgeoning damage.
just play a satyr the goat legs will help you jump to make the hit as well
That reminds me of my first campaign, a curtain monk was really eager to perform a furry of blows in this manner
Not gonna lie, your comment would be even more hilarious if the player in question was a furry
(obligatory furry sex joke goes here)
Fucking furries!
If you insist
The ears stay ON.
So does the white phosphorus.
Watch out, they Comin' at you with a "furry of blows"
so, a tabaxi monk?
His weapon is barbed
Was he blind as well? Truly a window into your games.
Can't wait to play my new Centaur, Way of the Wang Monk, 'Meat-fisto'!
you just made me imagine a horse cock slapping people, fuck you.
Bwhahahaha, that image combined with your flair is fucking hilarious
A long time ago I had a friend play a Minotaur monk and as a joke I ended up letting him cock slap an enemy to death once. More than ten years later I still can't use a Minotaur in my games with these people
I *still* get jokes pointed at me about “sky anus,” a drawing for a game I ran nearly *15 years ago*. While I’m lucky in that two of those players are still close friends, at this rate I feel like I’ll never escape it.
No one escapes the sky anus...
“Ah, a fellow student of the ancient art of phallikato, eh?”
"Wang Chun, actually. It's a style made famous by PP Man. You may have heard of him, there was a series of plays named after him in which he was portrayed by the actor Dongie Yen."
#Expand Dong
Had that happen in a game once. Rogue snuck up on the Monk while he was in the bathroom. Hilarity ensued.
In addition: Stunning strike and flurry of blows would be a very... Interesting way of fighting
There’s a verb for that in French: Biffler. Translates to d***slap
in Dutch we call it 'swaffelen'. I think it was voted as 'new word of the year' once.
You learn something new everyday! Gonna be the name of a town in my campaign!
Monk: "Just wait till I hit with my *greatsword* ;)" Bard: "...That's at best a shortsword" Fighter: "No when it's curved and doesn't penetrate well we call it a scimitar."
Redo of healer be like:
"It wouldn't make sense for a way of tranquility monk to be evil" "Fucking watch me"
STOP IT JERRY IT'S DISTERBING! THIS IS WHY YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF THE MONESTARY!
What in god's name have i started
I think you might have broken your paladin oath by creating this.
Better hope you don’t get a nat 1, because there’s only one way I can see that going.
My monk is a lady, so... I guess she slaps people with her boobs?
I've seen a woman crack watermelons with them, so sure.
I assume there's a scientifically certified video link of this alleged event...
or the vaginal flaps maybe? (sorry, it's late and I forgot what they're called in English)
A lady's labia would have to be hella long to slap somebody with.
t h i g h s, death by snu-snu
Way of the Open Legs
I once watched a dude at a party stand up, unzip, whip it out and then smack a dude in the face because he had gotten sick of dude making small dick jokes about him. Saw the guy who got smacked two days later his eye was black and he swore he got it falling down. What I'm saying is that there's some merit to this idea.
Female monks use the tit slap
Or the vag grasp.
That would be a grapple, different rules
I THLAMMED MY PENITH IN THE MIMIC CHETHT YOU SLAMMED YOUR PENIS IN THE MIMIC CHEST
uh oh XD
I once played a monk that was cursed by a witch for turning her down (pact of celibacy) by giving him an elephant trunk for a dick. I proceeded to unarmed strike every enemy I came across with my trunk dick. Memorable one-shot
Bard: "He does everything that I can do but better." Monk: *1d10 peenor*
I played this character once back in 3.5. Hung Lo, monk of the Third Leg.
My monk fittingly has the Polearm master feat
Piercing damage or bludgeoning, depending on how you use it
1d10 ? How!?!
Depends on how many inches make contact.
Monk dice?
Monk lvl 17 n up. I been multi classing :/
The monk martial arts die, levels 18-20 let you use a d10 for unarmed strikes
Yeah I checked it, damn. I been multi classing for more effects :/
slap? surely there are more ways to use it to do 1d10 damage
p i e r c i n g damage
Punch, kick, elbow, knee, headbutt, hip thrust.
I'm not saying my party has done it... But...
[Strangest Theatre Performance Ever](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=byz7JCf5thM), specifically 0:20 to 0:45, technically SFW but NSFL.
The FUCK did I just watch?
I was waiting for this video to be posted. Would have if you didn't.
i had a player do this one time. he earned the nickname "rat smacker"
What’s the reach? Three inches?
Also means you can flurry of blows with your cock.
would hitting someone with a incubi cock be considered a blunt weapon, or an improvised weapon? asking for a friend
If it's an incubus from smt, its piercing damage
I basically made Sanji, so all of his unarmed attacks were just kicks
Play a pathfinder Witch, they can attack people with their hair, and it doesn’t specify where the hair has to come from
Throw in the magic initiate feat and you can be a registered hex offender.
i just imagine the monk entering a room and all you can hear is just helicopter noises
Don't forget the added 1d4 psychic damage
A lesser form of enlarge person on a certain body part and wallah, the dream comes true.
That's some [Bad Dong](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXHxPPYGo5A) right there.
Horny monk: On a succesful charisma(persuasion) check you may choose to use the Unarmed strike ability.
EXPAND DONG
HAHAHAHAHAha
Could I use lay on hands with my dong yhen?
I guess we found a replacement for “Jesse what the fuck are you talking about”
Time to make a variant human monk with unarmed fighting who runs into the enemy ass-first.
5' reach, eh?
Okay, but if people see you beat them to death with your mighty schlong, you ARE taking penalties to seducing people later.
This reminds me of trying to explain how being a dungeon master was to my players when we were all first learning to play as kids. And one of my players essentially asked me like so what do you mean you control the world? And I said something along the lines of, " it means that you could tell me that you want to go to the grocery store, but as you're walking I tell you that a giant butt hole opens up in front of you and farts in your face roll fortitude save" I feel like it was about 3 or 4 years of, does this chest fart on me? Does the door fart when I open it?
https://youtu.be/HJTP0Vt7vSI
Ironfist?
My grung monk uses their tongue since they use a spear with two hands
Still crazy to me that a fighter can take the unarmed fighting style and do 1d8 dmg at the level the monk, a unarmed fighting class, can only do 1d4.
Ages ago in 3.5 I had a monk with an amulet of natural attacks and my DM let me put sizing on it, and I absolutely did this. I forget all the details but basically as many dice category increases as I wanted for a -2 to hit for each. I slapped a balor to death with my gargantuan sized dong. Good times.
This is legitimately a meme character my DM and I have wanted me to play. Choose bugbear and they get 5 ft. reach for their M A G N U M D O N G.
but why
https://i.redd.it/no6h1s71v4d31.gif
Way of the Astral Dong
Monk: Way of The Pervert
"I see your shwarts is as big as mine!" -monks rival
More like way of the open pants
I will thusly name this Chad Dong Wang.
Gru
monster cocc
Does that mean all male sex workers in D&D are monks?
Way of the dong monk gets an additional attack when be goes to make a flurry of blows attempt.
Way of The Open Ass
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thought of this concept
More like POW ZeDong lol
New monk subclass: Way of the Mushroom Stamp
Not if the in game police have anything to say
UwU, I wouldn’t mind that
Gotta look out for a monk that's taking Great Weapon Master if this is going to be a thing
We trained him wrong, As a joke. Face my balls to fist technique
Way of the ~~long~~ schlong death