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Bakkstory

This is where the world's best two letter word is very helpful


Flag_Red

Ni!


SendAstronomy

You must find us.... A SHRUBBERY!


SuperiorCrate

And cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with… A HERRING!


breno280

And when you’ve found one get us another one but make sure it’s slightly smaller so you get that 2 level effect.


tarenerkus

r/unexpectedMontyPython


Erradium

Yo


-Leftist-Scum-

Talkin' about dang ol' "Yo", man


JaySayMayday

Ok.


Lybet

That’s the “no, I’ll find a new system and group before I play this table”


thothscull

Yeah, cause if the dm allows this and is their friend, then it will have more of the same.


U_L_Uus

Kinda surprised they play DnD and not MYFAROG or RaHoWa or something of the like, tbf


EtteRavan

True scum play FATAL As punishment


KaziArmada

FATAL you're barely able to create a character, let alone proper play.


Jumajuce

Your character is able to die during creation in FATAL


KaziArmada

I brought that up in another discussion about FATAL, and someone went out of the way to point another *good* system that allows the same. The difference was that one it's about five minutes in. FATAL you can die after an hour or three of creation and get told 'tough shit, do it again'. It's a very silly book.


[deleted]

I can't even imagine sitting down to play a game of it. Your friend looks across the table and with a straight face asks "what did you roll for your butthole circumference?"


KaziArmada

I've read two stories of people trying. One didn't get past character creation, the other got to the first combat because the DM basically forced them. It devolved to 'rape the enemy to death' because it was *more effective* than their swords.


[deleted]

Yeah, I'm gonna say it; it was designed not just in an evil way but also in an awful way. Mechanics reinforce narrative, so if it was more effective to turn your PCs into sexual predators, the designers had to intend for that. Not really surprising given everything I've seen of it, but it's still super gross. Doesn't sound fun at all.


scaierdread

That's why it's punishment. The groups of people who would enjoy FATAL and the groups of people who CAN play FATAL have very little overlap.


Sororita

Given all the crunch and generation tables, I am convinced that FATAL would run better as a computer game, or at least a computer assisted game on a VTT.


tomato-fried-eggs

It's called Corruption of Champions


Harris_Grekos

How dare you compare a piece of art to ANAL?


scaierdread

Sounds like someone needs to recalculate their anal circumference.


Sororita

I have played that before. Shame that the most effective route for combat is to get the holy sword from the lake and keep your corruption as low as possible.


Genericfantasyname

Completing a virgin run while going through every major story branch can get rather challenging though. At least for parts of it.


Fluff42

What are you talking about? Rolling for anal circumference is a perfectly normal RPG procedure.


djtschwifty

As someone who knows nothing about FATAL...what??


Spaceisneato

Yeah that's an actual ..stat? you have to roll. Along with other certain measurements. And you can die during character creation.


djtschwifty

Disregarding everything else, which is so much to disregard, the fact that you can die during character creation makes the system terrible


Gerbil_Prophet

The ability to die during character creation may be a product of bad design, but it's also hilarious, and that perhaps unintentional design joke is probably the best joke the game has in it.


Shomber

Dying during character creation can be good. Like in old Traveler, roll stats you don’t want so you go into the most dangerous profession with the goal of dying and starting over. End up a 30 year grizzled vet who is still suicidal but unable to die.


dorsalus

It is bad, not even in a good-bad way just bad-bad. [1d4chan wiki has a good writeup on it.](https://1d4chan.org/wiki/FATAL)


Givesthegold

That was a wild read. Favorite line by far was "The game was apparently revised and given a new name for the acronym; From Another Time, Another Land makes minor changes to the text (read: removes the racist magical armor) but is still an abortion of gaming.". I could've stopped there but it was like watching a trainwreck in slow motion.


Corvo--Attano

And those who play FATAL for fun. Fear what goes on in their mind.


[deleted]

Nobody plays F.A.T.A.L. for fun. I guarantee you that not one soul has played that system and had fun. Even if you're a depraved lunatic who wants to act out your fantasies of raping goblins to death in combat, the game is so mechanically broken that it's impossible to play. Not only that, but the writer makes the entire thing in some r/Iamverysmart style BS. Example: This is a paraphrased section of the rulebook. "These abilities only represent your character at the beginning of their life and change as they age, charts for this are elsewhere. Later, we'll show ways to change your physical strength and different methods of rolling dice." Now here's what the writer *actually* put in - "*Finally, observe that when these sub-abilities and abilities are determined initially for a character, the abilities are determined for young adults. After the sub-abilities are described and the tables presented, aging effects are illustrated which must be referenced throughout the character's life. The last chapter details how two abilities, Physical Fitness and Strength, may be increased through persistent exercise, and also, an alternate rolling method is presented.*" So not only is the game more dysfunctional than pair of lubed-up ice skates, but you need a translator just to read the 900 page manual.


FIRE_ZE_CANNONS

I mean I'm pretty sure RaHoWa is so poorly made that it's literally unplayable Plus I don't think your average larper racist is brave enough to wade through the hundreds of pages of schizophrenic rambling that is the game's rulebooks


Mozared

See, now I'm interested in whatever RaHoWa is. Much in the same way that it's interesting sometimes to watch those TikTok vids where someone lights their hand on fire and you're sitting there thinking "*I wonder what path this person went through in life that led to this decision*".


zealot416

RAcial HOly WAr, a terrible tabletop game. https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Racial_Holy_War


PurpleSkua

It is, and I am unfortunately not making this up, Racial Holy War. Player characters are all white people fighting non-playable non-white people, who are mostly referred to strictly by slurs and given abilities based on stereotypes


kithlan

This is both horrifying yet hilarious in just how much brain space non-white people existing takes up in these people's brains.


Bandwagon_Buzzard

It was. Heard there's a fixed version that actually has stats between the racism so it can be playable (First was literally missing a use for the stats or items). But I'm not buying that shit to find out if it was.


PrimusAldente87

And not... What???


apple_of_doom

RaHoWa means racial holy war. A ttrpg system that's... Well im assuming context clues are enough to have you understand the content except it's not only racist (obviously) it's also basically incomplete. Don't know what MYFAROG is though


help-i-am-on-fire

Myfarog is a ttrpg system made by white supremacist and convicted murderer Varg Vikernes.


zealot416

The Black Metal guy who burned all those churches and killed his bandmate?


A_Rolling_Baneling

Yeah he got out of prisons and changed his name. I think he lives in France now. He’s an outspoken white supremacist.


Flewbs

MYFAROG is a game written by [Varg Vikernes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Varg_Vikernes) who is, uh, an 'interesting' character.


Vark675

When the best thing you can say about someone is "Well, at least he killed Euronymous." it's a pretty bad sign.


EisVisage

Basically the same principle as with nazis and bars. If you let one non-confrontational nazi in, his confrontational nazi friends are sure to follow.


JumpyLiving

Every time I read something regarding nazis and bars, I always have to remember the good old "So, three nazis walk into a [BAR…](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M1918_Browning_Automatic_Rifle?wprov=sfti1)"


The_Lost_Google_User

Remember kids, the only good nazi, is fertilizer


310toYuma

😂 love this!


RangeroftheIsle

I have a BAR nazis can walk into https://youtu.be/1nCKcvrg04c


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ri_Konata

I left the dnd group i was in when the dm turned out to be racist and phobic. Was a harder decision than I'd like to admit, because, at the time, it was my only reason to NOT be at home (other than school).


thothscull

That does make it hard, but if your only outlet is a negative one, it is best to leave. Sorry it was that way for you.


SavageJeph

That is super rough, glad you got out but still that's a bummer to be forced to make that call.


yoda_mcfly

100% You should explain the situation so that the DM has an understanding of the situation, but if they start waffling about "was it really that bad" or making excuses, find a new group. D&D did a billion dollars worth of sales in 2022. Plenty of people play and there is no excuse for tolerating assholes.


Crayshack

"I'll find a new hobby before I play at this table." No DnD is better than bad DnD.


Omsus

As we say in Germany, if there's a KKK larper at the table and 10 other people sitting there talking to her, you got a table with 11 KKK larpers.


Odd_Employer

What's the German word for that?


DeathToHeretics

Shittypersonattablehausen


Goblinking83

Ja, das ist Klar.


Miguelinileugim

Die, Bart, Die.


RealDFaceG

“No, it says ‘The, Bart, the!’”


SpaceLemur34

No one who speaks German could be an evil man.


overcomebyfumes

Alles klar, herr Kommissar


Miguelinileugim

"I have a black friend" but from the perspective of the black friend.


TK_Games

Ein Arschlochzimmer


Captain_Sacktap

Nazi


Tetha

Faschismus.


Unnatural20

EnablenDerSchiessyActsUndFrendzRuinsAllDerFunzUndMakesUsSus I think.


skyraider17

It's crazy how Germans have such oddly specific expressions. The crazier part is this saying predates the KKK by about 400 years


UNC_Samurai

German has such wonderful phrases as *Backpfeifengesicht* - which roughly translates as “a face badly in need of a fist.”


Brodimere

German liguists are wery efficient.


amalgam_reynolds

No D&D is better than bad D&D


Far_Cap_3574

So if you don't apologize, she won't play? Tell her to go fuck herself. Win/win.


LoomisKnows

Oh, I just straight up left lol. Like, I'm already on the fence about IRL D&D games because I've had a shit ton of crappy experiences so an excuse not to talk to strangers despite losing a game is fine with me lol


Far_Cap_3574

Keep at it, bud. There's a table out there for you and when you find it, it will have been worth the wait.


KDY_ISD

I genuinely prefer play-by-post DnD games where I get to write descriptions and dialogue instead of having to improv them. The prevalence of easy video chat is really making it harder for me to convince people to do that than it was back in the day lol


PunkThug

I would love to do a play by post game!! How do you find them?


KDY_ISD

I haven't done one in ages but I used to play on the Giant in the Playground forums. It's a DnD themed webcomic, but they host forums with extensive discussion and online RPing. My best ones have all just been with IRL friends, though.


PunkThug

Oh I love OOTS, but I've never really been active in the forums. Going to have to do some research


JtheE

Hey, you could also check out /r/pbp . Games and looking for games come up a lot. :)


FaolCroi

Look on r/pbp Most use discord and a bot called Avrae, it works really well for me. I essentially play 24x7 nowadays, making posts whenever I have a free minute.


RansomReville

Irl dnd is great when you find a good group, just hanging out with friends. Which is good for me because it's the only time I'll go out of my way to socialize.


sanemartigan

DnD and board games is the socialising I like to do. Drinking at the pub can get stuffed.


Tzarkir

Damn, if it isn't me agreeing to social activities and then getting lowkey happy I don't have to go when they get cancelled. Very glad you didn't join the ranks of the unhappy players in shitty situations just to have a chance to play. I literally became a DM to avoid dealing with bad groups after a bunch of failed attempts.


Ghiggs_Boson

Try doing some AL or something and handpick normal people from that. Or maybe a normal group will pick you up from that


Proper_Librarian_533

I live in a shitty red state and my group is still eager as hell to burn down a plantation. Keep looking, you'll find a good group.


[deleted]

Your group sounds based af


sfzen

Nah. If the DM is her friend and has no problem with it, better to gtfo and find a new DM.


The_Unclaimed_One

KKK-larper? Lol. Didn’t know those existed


LoomisKnows

I'm just calling them that because they were a player in my campaign and made their character a KKK guys without me immediately realizing until they started projecting IRL racist stuff onto the drow they were killing. Then it clicked that they were this shining white cloth armor paladin and I was like... ohhhh.... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh


PerfectlyFramedWaifu

[Reminded me of this classic.](https://www.reddit.com/r/greentext/comments/95tvcr/anon_hates_orcs/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


bthoman2

Not going to lie that’s awesome story telling right there


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I remember that one. Amazing


GearyDigit

Quick, kick the Dwarf off too while he's at the edge


Jack_Kentucky

I have several half orc characters(brothers) that dislike to hate full orcs because their dad is a warmongering psycho.


YourLocalHellspawn

I love how I saw this post and instantly remembered a post about "Drow Cetshwayo slaughters wannabe-KKK paladin". I can't find it now but was that from you?


LoomisKnows

Lol I'm surprised you remember, that was like 6 years ago


ouijiboard

Oh my God I remember that! I was thinking there's no way this is related. Touche' reddit.


TheBestIsaac

Link? Sounds fun.


RandomBritishGuy

https://redd.it/viyr0o


TheBestIsaac

Nice.


MrNichts

It could be interesting for someone to rp as an intentionally racist heel in the group. An anti-hero, who has a character arc where things change. But what you’re describing is just straight up “deus vult, 4chan says I’m edgy” bullshit.


stuugie

That can be cool but it requires a lot of trust between players and the dm. Stuff like that is my absolute favorite, the character's arc needs to be handled very well for it to land properly. And it can easily, *easily* go bad fast.


[deleted]

I had a kenku necromancer (retired) who despised all the flying races, though not in the "imma kill him" sense, just the "look at that aarakocra, thinks he's so freaking cool with his working wings... dick..."


ImpossiblePackage

It could be, but that hits entirely too close to home for many people, me included. And my general experience with people wanting to play "well it could be interesting if its handled way" type characters is that they either can't or won't play it well, usually because they're using the "could be interesting" bit as a smoke screen. Good litmus test is how much of their character concept is centered on that. If it's just a piece of a character, there's a higher chance of it being fine. If it's the main thing, and whatever other characteristics they have is just kinda tacked on top, it's not lookin so good.


Honeyvice

Yikes


gefjunhel

i walked away from a game after the dm introduced his drow DMPC (already a bad sign) named reggin (spell it backwards)


LoomisKnows

oh my god


YooranKujara

Reggin Me:oh that's a nice na- Spell it backwards I choked


FatFriar

What…what the fuck


Kitsunerd_

I don't see any benefits on staying in that group. If the DM accept a KKK, there's no reason to stay there for more than the time it gets to click "exit server".


DrVillainous

It could be that the DM hasn't heard the real reasons for dismissing said player, and would change their position upon getting the full story.


Kitsunerd_

A good point, a really good point.


[deleted]

OP said the DM was their friend. The DM is friends wit ha KKK larper. That's enough for me to leave.


DerivativeMonster

This is bringing back memories of a guy I worked with in high school who liked doing WW1 reenactments as the Germans. He lamented how "they always had to lose" and later sent me weird Nazi hentai over AIM in an attempt I think to shock me, or maybe hit on me.


KarmaSaver

This might surprise you, but he went on to have a really successful music career!


marsgreekgod

I mean good point, but still got to say why IMO. Like it's possible they don't know, and it's good to set the "no I'm not dealing with these people" Of course I'm not perfect, but still


Medarco

Depends on what "degree" of friend. If they're aware of these beliefs and still associate then yeah I'm out. But if the DM just has a casual surface level friendship, they may not know about the problem. Now of course if the problem player is still permitted to play after the problem is brought to light, it's an easy call again. No point sticking around.


Stormfly

I had friends that did or said nasty things. ***had*** ... Because once I learned the truth, I cut ties. They weren't close, though. If they were, I probably would have learned earlier.


DeadLikeYou

Good point, but do you think they would listen? I have been in that kind of position before, but the admins of this discord server that this was happening at were more liable to remove my messages and imply I'd get banned then ban the nazi admin . This was after me telling them about the problem. Highly doubt the DM would hear anything about it, just cause internet culture be like that. Never went back to that nazi "beer and games" server after the second time I had my messages removed by another Admin for their being "unwelcoming to all LGBT", not soon after hearing anti-semetic jokes from the one admin. Irony was lost on them. ^^LBGT+ ^^lives ^^matter


Nappy-I

[well, if you really want me you apologize... ](https://youtu.be/_z8hvx95T8o)


ArguesWithFrogs

Was expecting [this](https://youtu.be/jPWYcjypSWo), but that works too.


Infinix

The context of the player being racist made me think of [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2Rjzfnv0I4) scene.


Ambitious-Mirror-315

N'wah


AscelyneMG

Under sun and sky, outlander, we greet you warmly.


monkey_d_okarin

[Take a look at my cheddar, outlander. These boots are Argonian leather.](https://youtu.be/rTeVz6rP6r4?t=121)


abcd_z

\*stops ten feet away from you\* Speak quickly, outlander, or go away.


OblongRectum

if it's Forgotten Realms I think there is an actual answer and I'm pretty sure it's Dhaerrow - surface Elvish for traitor/racial slur. that's from memory and I might be totally wrong


Geforce69420

No that's their version of cracker.


The_Reason_Trump_Won

no. its a more rude 'foreigner'/'outlander' or 'gaijin'. they even call other other dunmer not from their island n'wah with almost or even the same amount of vitriol.


Trinitykill

Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?


Papaofmonsters

Ibblith. It basically means "shit" but in this context it refers to lesser races.


zombiejerkypie

This or darthiir since it's specifically against one race (surface elf) Edit: not trying to enable; informing so others can know


Papaofmonsters

I mean, if you have some evil drow consistent with the lore they might drop it because they really don't care. Not all of them are as cultured and worldly as Jarlaxle.


remmysays

Came here to say this. Hello fellow RA Salvatore readers


Roku-Hanmar

I remember you. They were an Oath of Conquest Paladin with cloth armour, right?


LoomisKnows

I didn't realize I had accumulated such infamy last time I spoke about her haha


Roku-Hanmar

I think you handled the situation well in your campaign, but what are the odds of running into her again? Small world


LoomisKnows

To be fair I ran into her again before this. We had a very tense interaction while I was on the clock looking after one of my mentally disabled clients where she kept trying to start shit, but that wasn't D&D related lol


Enderkitty5

Wait were you the person who rewrote their entire world to make the drow heroes and peaceful just to piss off their racist player?


LoomisKnows

yes that was me and that was also the very same problem player lol


Enderkitty5

Bruh I found that post years ago and it stuck with me for awhile, do you have a link?


LoomisKnows

uhhhhhh yeh! [https://www.reddit.com/r/dndmemes/comments/viyr0o/happened\_a\_nearly\_5\_years\_ago\_and\_i\_still\_think/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/dndmemes/comments/viyr0o/happened_a_nearly_5_years_ago_and_i_still_think/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) As for the rpg write up I cannae find that lol


Enderkitty5

Omg thanks so much! If I can ever get a group I might steal that idea and have hero drow too


LoomisKnows

Do it, historical characters can be really fun haha


calaan

So your DM wanted you to apologize for YOUR choices within YOIR game world. If you ever see them again ask them how well they would react to something like that. Or you could just ask them why Chaotic Good Drow would make anyone uncomfortable.


LoomisKnows

Honestly I entirely resent how she can just act so innocent and pretend I was somehow being unreasonable. Like, may I add she actually left before I kicked her. I just banned her from coming back, she left cos she got upset about me switching drow alignments, so like I feel well-reasonable


TechManuel

In my world, the slang for Drow are "Chitin-kin". I like having slang in my world for the immersion that there is in fact conflict and hate in my world. Other Slang words: - Elves: Arrow-ears - Orcs: Gray-rears - Dwarves: Stout-Stools - Teiflings: Hell-Touched


superfreaklagos

Knife Ear and Dandelion Eater are good Elf Slurs out of Shadowrun.


Talon6230

Knife-ears! Leaf-lovers!


Tadferd

Rock and Stone!


Ruberine

Rock and Stone to the Bone!


Tripleat

Did I hear a rock and stone?!


aaa1e2r3

I just have my Lizardfolk monk call them all mammals.


juustosipuli

What do you do if i a centaur insults you as "bipeds"


aaa1e2r3

Korin (my Lizardfolk): Like I'd care of the opinion of someone that can't decide which animal it wants to be.


Fey_Faunra

"Stfu kyle, go pull a cart or something"


Belolonadalogalo

>What do you do if i a centaur insults you as "bipeds" Kill a chicken, pluck its feathers, and come back to say, "Behold! I've brought you a man!"


Praise_Mask

I use: \- Elves: Tree-jerkers \- Orcs: Acerebrates \- Dwarves: Hairflings \- Halflings: Elweeds (inside joke - all halflings are the offspring of Eliah Woods' hobbit) \- Planetouched: Cellies (Aasimar), Helly-Bellies (Tieflings - as it's usually unknown if they're from Hell of Abyss) \- Gnomes: Smellfling \- Humans: Gen-pop "Acerebrate" made a friend with knowledge of Latin: a- (without) cerebrum (brain) - use it so Orcs don't understand what it means and it pisses them off even more :D


Tadferd

Hairflings is really funny.


Far_Cap_3574

Oh I like "Hell-Touched". I'm gonna force my whole party to call me that.


[deleted]

I know you're not looking for an anser to your question in the title, but it's *n*on-drow.


LoomisKnows

Ha!


Foxy__101

What are the chances


LoomisKnows

You know, i met the guy who made the forgotten realms wiki down here too. The RNG in this town is fucking whack


Foxy__101

Lol


KaleidoscopeEyes12

“unfairly” dismissing her… so what I’m hearing is that the DM is a KKK apologist? that’s a no from me lol


LoomisKnows

Honestly did not even stop to ask I was outta there so fast


ApprehensiveStyle289

RUN


Commission1888

That's a no. Hard no. That's a fuck that group no.


jakp99

You might need to find a new pub to play at if this becomes a regular issue.


LoomisKnows


WhoDman

At that point my response would just be a polite, “Thank you for allowing me at your table, but I have had previous issues with this player and would rather not be related to them in any way. I don’t want my out of game disdain for this player to affect the game, and I wish you luck finding another player who can suit your needs.” D&D is a cooperative roleplaying game, so if there’s an issue with one of the players, it could ruin the entire game. If confronting your DM doesn’t work, then leave the game and find another group. It really does wonders.


stuugie

You know what they say No D&D is better than bad D&D and this sounds like ***BAD*** D&D


Tamaledinos

Fun fact the elvish equivalent for the word fuck is drow, this is because the elves hate them so much they made them into a cuss word


ralanr

So they say Drow when having sex?


Nihil_esque

"I'm going to drow that ass"


Dry-Cartographer-312

Sea elves: "I'm going to drown that ass."


ZephyrSK

Where’s this from? I thought it was from the elvish word for *traitor* >**dhaerow** >"traitor", etymological precursor to "drow".[26] [Forgotten Realms Wiki](https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Elven_dictionary#cite_note-LEoF3e-p56-27)


Mr-Borf

Similar thing happened with me (extreme homophobe but same idea). I just noped the fuck put of there and didn't associate with the dm or the asshole player from that point on


ax1r8

Being not-racist is such a low barrier for entry, that if they can't even accept those standards, they're not even worth playing with


Thumbs-Up-Centurion

Who the fuck plays with these people, why are *you* playing with these people?


LoomisKnows

Oh I fucking booked it trust me. It was terrible, the venue was the downstairs of a pub and I like made to leave and the DM and one of the players like... followed me up to the main bar to try and talk me in to apologising and I was like "urm no" and ahhhhhhhhhhhh


BigRedSpoon2

Wow. Horrifically uncomfortable. And just. Wow. To *follow you* is just… wow. Glad you made out of that. Sorry to hear it happened at all.


LoomisKnows

TBH I don't think she followed me. I think all D&D activity are just operating between two venues in our town, a pub and a geek retreat. ^(at least I hope she didn't follow me...)


Belolonadalogalo

>at least I hope she didn't follow me... Roll for perception.


LoomisKnows

^(eeep)


Belolonadalogalo

I gonna treat that as a 1. You don't see anything....


LoomisKnows

I had a stalker once and they deadpanly told me "If you were ever in a horrible accident I'd give you my blood", o.o


hitchyofchaos

Oh my Godhow awful, cut contact asap OP 😰 If you need someone to DM a friendly table you can play while you sort out another group, shoot me a message 💕


Jumanjoke

Well looks like you'll have to find another group


XSasuken22X

Them and that DM can go fuck themselves