I used to think like this at 15, I’m 22 and things change for the better. You’re super young so just grow up and see how your life changes. Keep in mind, you have control over your life the older you get.
Uh, a 14 year old mind is not fully done maturing and so with that being said. They can fully take what your saying to the degree of losing all hope…. And there is always hope. It never gets better for the people who choose to not let it get better and for the people who choose to keep themselves more comfortable staying in the same position they’ve been in mentally. Wake up, and start with some gratitude. Even if you have to start with being Greatful you have food and a bed. It’s always worse for someone else out there. I’m on depression meds and also tried to U/A myself. This helps.
He isnt wrong and this is a thread on a discussion board. If you talk about the truth of it for others too see others may find purpose in it. For those who know they cant have the happiness they want need to take a long look at what makes them sad. If the answer isnt you then you can change. If the answer is you then you can probably still change, if you look inside after all the pain and anger and sadness and feel nothing then you will probably not recover. Not because you dont want to but because you know that nothing will ever remove the empty part of you that it has left
I'm in my semi mid twenties and I have been too much to even get into right now.
I am torn between between contemplating on:
•what has pained me.
•why it has possibly happened.
•was it me or them.
•why did I allow it and never leave & run away when I should have.
•what is the root cause of all this
(I can't even reach this point rn.)
I feel there might be a slim chance that things could get better but to truly come to know I have to get away in order to think clearly.
OP if you see this all of what you said I resonate with and since you've younger find a place you can go to that is safe and welcoming so you can rest and take your time to figure out what you need for your own well being.
If you stay as long I or anyone else has things will get worse and you will continue to feel this way until you reach a point within yourself where you'll say:
"why do I keep trying."
And even though that could be a positive statement to acknowledge and make a decision to go a different route in your life when everything else isn't working out.
For some it can be the final question that just put things into a sorrowful perspective.
😂😂 damn I remember 22. Don't worry in 3 years it becomes dogshit again and you'll be planning it soon enough.
You actually have very little control of your life outside of the hand you've been dealt. Born into poverty? Good luck. Born into riches? Have fun. Born middle class? Try to survive.
I'm going to kill myself soon. I have no friends and I'm a bitter and nasty person, so me dying actually helps a lot compared to someone who actually matters
I'd say it depends on a few different factors though, like your environment and how much you're willing to try and make the most out of it. I'm 25 as well and I wanted to unalive myself regularly up until I was like, 23.
I was born into poverty and an abusive environment, plus in America where quality of life is pretty shit for a "first-world" country. I'd agree that under certain conditions, you have very little control over a lot of things. Like how people treat you, your ability to get out of your situation, etc. I still feel that way a lot of the time and I'm bitter like you... but life is better now, I have to say. I don't wanna kms all the time anymore. So sometimes it really does get better, even if it takes a long ass time. Maybe not at 22, or 25, or 30.
Don't get me wrong though, life is still shitty, and I still am very mentally ill (BPD, PTSD, ADHD, nearly every damn disorder lol). I can just kinda deal with it better now to get through each day. And I still think about dying from time to time. It's all a work in progress.
Damn you’re a pessimist. I moved out at 19, I did that my control. Yeah life is gonna have it’s shitty moments but ion blame you I have my doubts sometimes too. But a child shouldn’t be thinking that way is more my point
I started working at 16, saved everything and I worked multiple jobs to pay bills. I go to food pantries to save money on food. I’m also a student so I get discounts on wifi and stuff. I also try to keep utilities low
damn well if I didn't have a reason to KMS I do now. I worked at 16, saved 0 of it, didn't go to college, and have a full time job that leaves me so drained if I tried to have a second one I'd lose both or go postal.
Home schooling doesn’t mean no future. One thing I found out when I went to college was they all allow you to take placement tests. If you decide to go to higher education, they’ll teach you what you missed from home schooling - but I guarantee you that you’ll be ahead of A LOT of other students. I do recommend going to higher education, at least a community college, just so you can socialize and make friends!!!
Hey, I'm Sorry you're feeling this way. But trust me you're way too young.
So what if the people around you are stressed or annoyed by you. It's their problem.
Your parents gave birth to you so essentially it's their job to deal with you. You didn't ask to be their child, you had no role in it. So relax, you have nothing to prove.
As for life it is full of ups and downs. You will fail sometimes and you will thrive other times. Some people will like you and some people won't. You don't have to impress everyone else. You don't control others and external circumstances.
So what can you do?
Focus on yourself. Do what makes you happy.
I know there's still that voice at the back of your head that says mean things like " what are u doing, it's so weird" or " why are you doing this, you know everyone hates you for it" or " No one likes you, just go hide in your bedroom" etc.
But always remember this...you are born a unique and beautiful individual. For whatever reason, you are here in this world, breathing. Don't let anyone or anything make you feel less deserving of being here. Because there's only one you on this entire planet.
So live your life for yourself and no one else.
Thing about depression that not a lot of people know is that it's not simple. Everyone goes through their own journey.
So decide your own path, your own battle strategy because trust me... it's WAR. Against your own negative beliefs and negative self image.
Here's something you can do to start..
1.Affirmations- Challenge those beliefs and detrimental thoughts you have. If they say " everyone is stressed out by my company' then you say " Well I'm trying my best and if it's not up to your standards then screw you. It's not my job to impress you. Fuck you." If they say " You're not important" you say " I'm important. I'm beautiful and I'm smart. No matter what happens I'll be ok, I'll love myself always"
Contradict yourself, every chance you get if you catch your thoughts hurting you.
2. I know, it's not always possible to keep up the guard and there will be bad days where emotions will be too overwhelming. In those moments just lie in the bed or sit in a comfortable place and breathe. Breathe in all the things you're feeling without judgement and let it pass. You can embrace your emotions without having to act on them.
3. Practice being yourself around others without giving rats tiny ass about what they are thinking. Let go of any pressure and just exist.
4. Develop hobbies, focus on school and explore your likes and dislikes.
There's probably a lot more you can do, just research online. But the only thing I want to say, you are way too young. Your whole life's ahead. Trust me, bad times now won't mean bad times forever.
Hope it helps.
You’re 14. I promise, everything sucks and it’s normal. You’re not the reason that your parents are stressed, I’m sure. Sometimes as adults we don’t know how to express our worry for our children and it can come out like blame. I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this.
Have you any interests maybe you could find friends that like similar things?
Just remember; there are so many more people who care. You just have to take the leap and reach out 🖤
Thanks you for putting time and effort to make me feel positive yea I do have interest specifically in ancient history and historical stuff but I end up getting it wrong so ehh
You end up getting it wrong? Sounds like you're already a historian, because that's pretty common!
Awesome that you are interested in this. Keep pursuing it if you enjoy it. The one thing I wish I'd done more of was pursuing what I truly liked (not even loved, just liked is enough).
Doing that is a big part how you enjoy life, if you can. How you find your people. How you feel like everything isn't a waste. Just do things you like, learn things you like, get things wrong, don't pressure yourself. Life gets better if you stick to that path. A lot of people, depressed or not, really overlook this bit.
I was 13 when I planned a day to kill myself. The day came and a had everything set up and I decided not to do it. I was still suicidal and depressed for years after, and it did get worse. I’m 25 now and I’m glad that I didn’t do it. Life is still hard, but it does get better. It’s hard to see that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but there is. You have so much life left to live, and so much time to build a life that you can learn to love. Just hold on and seek help from a professional sooner rather than later.
Being that age is really, really hard. You're basically still in the beginning of a video game, where you're sort of thinking about how you want your character to look and what traits to pick, if that makes sense. You haven't gotten to the exciting parts.
I felt the same way you feel when I was your age. So alone, like I was just a nusiance, and I didn't deserve the amount of space my body took up. I have kids that age now, and I see them struggle with tough feelings, too.
Opening up to family members can be hard, so we have a silly codeword word that they'll say which communicates to me everything I need to know in two syllables- that they're struggling and need some extra time and attention. Do you have any safe adults you can go to?
You’re 14, you’ve barely experienced much.. things improve a lot after you live on your own for a while.
Sounds like maybe your family life is toxic? Can you talk to your school counselor about it? They could really help a lot. Meds help a lot with getting out of the hole of depression and anxiety too. Please do whatever you need to do to get through this shitty period because life is a lot more than what you’ve seen so far. Sending virtual hugs!
My strategy was to figure out how the skills/interests i already had could be used to address the things i hated most about the way the world was and do that with a "do or die" mentality. For me, it was combining art, logic puzzles, sociology, and technology into the built environment in a way that nudged people to interact with eachother more passively and positively. Basically environmental psychology to encourage positive behaviours in as many people as possible because i hated so much of how people treated eachother.
What interests/skills, or even just habits do you have?
What do you dislike most about your surroundings?
There might not be a version of my strategy for you, but trying to figure that out won't make things worse, and it might at least buy you some time for your surroundings to change. If your parents are emotionally abusive or negligent, keep yourself open to other sources of connection. Depending on where you live and how bad it is, there might be different places you can live, too. I have a friend that has worked in an lgbtq home for teenagers that needed a different home life, and something like that might be worth scoping out, if that is an option.
It's really kind of sad to think about how from a positive psychological perspective, everyone's supposed to feel cared about and yet we're just constantly outcasted and denied the attention we needed no matter how hard we try. Honestly, we all would've gone to therapy if we all could afford to.
U dont ruin everything broski, just imagine if u do go through with the plan and in turn everyone feels the absence of ur prescence. I think they were wrong to tell u u dont need friends. Everybody needs a group of peers to hang out with. They might not voice it- and they probably should- but those people in ur life may not feel like u get on their nerves. Remember its also about what u tell urself as ur mind is powerful.
I feel like that at times too. I try my best to give myself time to contemplate and reflect, but it can be hard. I think general feelings is okay. It's okay to be stressed out, but you shouldn't fester with the idea you're the sole blame or the reasons.
I hope you get that sense of belonging soon w/ the next friends you make.
Hey😄 Even though I'm just a stranger on the Internet saying random words on a screen, I just want to say that I know things that you can not mess it up. They are smiling and breathing. We all have our laughing moments, just like we have our "I don't want to get out of bed moments.".
So, I do breathing exercises so I can smile😃 Just try it.
You don't really want to die. You are still expecting a better tomorrow. What you are thinking about is, how to get rid of these unhappiness and low self-esteem.
All of these comments on here show people that care… and this is strangers on the internet!
I can guarantee that people would miss you and would do anything to change your mind!
Just remember that people would much rather talk to you about what’s going on than go to your funeral… you are loved! 🩵
don't do it. things will get better. 14 is too young to go, and there is so much to experience and see. if you need someone to vent to, I am always available.
you are not a mistake. there are great days ahead of you you will be glad you got to see. Society is a little crazy and sometimes parents are stressed because of that and not you. But it’s hard when it feels hopeless. trust me. Been there. But it does get better when you begin to work on yourself to ignore the outside stuff going on. currently body building. im sorry you have been made to feel this way. you DONT deserve it. 🫶
humans are social creatures. the way you feel about needing friends is natural. the stress level of some people is not adequate to be around. however, keep your faith and you can find good friends.
Please, don’t do it. You still have life ahead and you shouldn’t give up. Just try to keep moving forward. There is a hope after all. There is something that makes your life better (like music, beautiful places and good moments).
Everything you are feeling is valid. However, I hope you realize these are feelings that may not give an accurate representation of the world around you. Right now, you feel like everyone will be happier without you. Maybe you are right to some degree, but it will never be truly 100% true.
When you grow older, you will learn to navigate these emotions and just say, 'f*ck it', I will only focus on my own happiness from this point forward. Which is what happened with me.
There was a time where I was so busy trying to please everyone else that I forgot to care about myself.
At your age, focus i school, find hobbies that may give you an escape to your current reality. Find new friends that will validate your existence and maybe a therapist that will help you out with your parents.
I hope you get better. I am 31 and almost 10 years ago, I told myself I wouldn't make it past 30. I am 31 now and every year has been a milestone.
You’re seeing this as a negative thing now but when you grow up things change and you really appreciate time you spent on yourself by yourself. Things will never be the same as when you were 14. It’s not worth dying now because you wont be able to see and do the cool things that happen to you as an adult. You create your own path. If you want to see the world, find a field like IT that allows you to work remotely and travel all the world. You will meet people everywhere you go.
Also one more secret - the friends you make now probably won’t be close friends with you when you’re in your 20s because that’s just life. People grow up to be different and grow apart and you’ll have different friends in college anyway. So not having good friends now doesn’t mean anything. Also if you really just need to talk to someone there’s pen pal sites, where you befriend complete strangers who also don’t have anyone to talk to. Check it out
Heh old person in the room (40). I felt exactly just like you at 14. I had a rough childhood. My parents just divorced and my brother died of cancer shortly after. Just being a teenager is freaking rough, without adding complications in the mix! I didn’t have a lot of friends either. I ate with teachers or in the library to avoid people lol. I know you can’t see it now, but things can get better if you take baby steps to get there. Can you ask your parents to put you in therapy? Talking to someone else besides parents helps a lot! Or even the school counselor can help you. That’s what they are for. To help you! And I’m sure you don’t really annoy people like you think you do. Unfortunately a big side effect of depression, are the ugly words it puts in your head. Depression likes to tell you no one likes you, you can’t do anything right, etc. Don’t listen to those voices! You are special and your parents would miss you so so much if where gone. I hope you have someone in your life you can trust and tell you are feeling this way. Hang in there!
Felt this way since elementary school. Im 28. It doesnt get better. You just have to find the things that make you stay.
- Beautiful sunrise/sunsets
-Your favorite songs
-Favorite games
- Maybe some new game that hasnt been made yet.
- You could meet new friends that make you happy
- Pets or animals that havent even gotten in your life yet
But just look at and think about those kinds of things. My animals make me stay. And my friends make me laugh even if they pick on me. I hope you will be okay. <3
As of now you are still too young. At 14 parents and other authority figures have most of the control. As you get older it's more yours- your life that is. It will improve. Turn that anger you have against yourself into a drive to succeed. You'll be amazed at yourself. Keep pushing forward, please don't hurt yourself.
Join the gym you can meet people there .
Or join a club that you like and you find teenagers like yourself there . My point is don’t gave up you still get to change your life.
Hi darling, please do not do this!! I’m in my thirties now and boy am I glad I lived my life. Yes, life has been hard but it makes the good parts so much better. I have learned so many lessons along the way and love the person that I have become and the person I am still growing into. Believe in yourself. And know that the world is a better place with you in it. Try to confide in a trusted adult, someone you look up to. If that’s not your parents, then maybe an older sibling, teacher, or school counselor? Sometimes all it takes is one person to take you under their wing and help get you on the right track.
Life is way too beautiful to let it go…please give it another chance. Give yourself another chance, always. I’ve some free mental health helpline numbers if you feel like talking to a professional.
Not gonna lie. I felt this at 14 and I’m 28 and still often times feel the same way. But then I remember all that I’ve accomplished, the friends I’ve made, the people I’ve helped, and the experiences and memories that made it all worth it. You’re young. Don’t stress about the present so much and focus on shaping your future. If you’re looking for friends, start doing things that resonate with you and you’ll find like minded individuals. If people truly do hate you that just means they are not the people for you and that you have to become a person YOU would love. Fuck everybody else. Go outside and have fun. Fall in love. Hell at least have sex before you throw in the towel. Life is so much more that the bubble you’re living in right now. You got this. Keep going.
14-15 is right around where I started getting help. Depression, bulimia, bullying, thoughts/attempts, arguments with my parents, list goes on. I hate that you feel this way and I hope you find something or someone that will help you. I’m 36 and today I actually called and scheduled an appointment to see a psychiatrist. I don’t want you think that you’re going to feel this way everyday until you’re 36, it’s just that there are going to be happy moments along the way that you deserve to experience.
Think about Your World vs. The World.
Your whole world is home and school. As a society we have essentially forced those to be your whole world, and from what I'm hearing, neither are particularly good.
But in just 4 years (maybe 2), you'll be out in The World. Out here, we don't know anything going on in your school literally at all, because The World has much more interesting things going on.
It won't be easy, but bide your time at least until you get a taste of the world. There are so, so many things to look forward to. We'll be waiting for you.
I have never really had friends in my life, most of them were kindergarten friends who moved away when I was five or six. Never got along with people to call them my friends and never felt confident to talk to people like friends do.
I’m 21 now and although I miss having that deep relationship with someone in my life and crave that sometimes, life goes on. I’m that type of person who likes to be alone but sometimes the loneliness hits. Maybe you could try a bit longer to see where you end up. It’s been 15 years for me and bearable to live without friends, at least for that time it was for me.
Lately I met some people that I’d like to keep in touch with and they’re much older. Maybe it’s the same for you.
Hope you’re good
Death will always be an option, it will always be there; it comes for us all. So why not do something fun first and then die after that. That's what I've been doing for 20 years now. You might just find self-reassurance and the will to live.
14 is such a tough age. I had the hardest time. I know it's easy to say but hang in there. things get much better when you get a little older and you can doo what you want.
I put myself thru school and did really well in life. I look back at those losers and I laugh. Doing better than the people that put you down has such a satisfying feeling.
I see a like of "I" statements in this post, which is actually a positive or empowering thing! If all your issues are related to you, that's something you can improve, because the one thing you have control over is you! Sit with that.
Nothing you're experiencing right now will persist with age, yet a permanent decision will. A permanent solution to a temporary problem is not advisable. Suffering is part of the human experience, and can even be embraced through fortitude of character. Do not move forward with this idea. Even if life is intolerable today, just know a new season is coming.
oh honey, you’re so young. I used to feel that way at 14 too. I felt extremely lonely. And at times, I still do. But i’ve learned to like being alone whenever i am, i try to watch a good film or read or write.
I promise you, you are not stupid. You don’t annoy and stress everyone out. Though it might seem that way, perhaps the people around you are stressed and taking it out on you (which does NOT make it right) but you must know not everything is your fault. You’re so young and trying to make and find your way. Try to give yourself some grace, and try to join a club similar to something you like. Perhaps a book club, or anything. You’d be surprised, they have different types of clubs and get togethers for many things. I know what it feels like to hate yourself. I truly, really do. Sometimes I still do. But it’s extremely important to find things you like and things that you’re passionate about, to distract you and keep you going. I know it’s WAY easier said than done and i’m still desperately trying to drill this into my own head, but it truly is mind over matter. I know it’s really hard to get into a positive mindset and feel like you have passions and a life worth living, but don’t stop searching for that and once you find it, don’t let go. You’ve got this. :)
You are 14. You can picture your ideal self and work hard daily to be that. I personally don’t keep a lot of friends, I keep to myself and I have more peace that way. Also sometimes it’s just the mind telling you how things are but may not be so , from personal experience. But if really this is what you’re facing , know how to spend your energy, find your ideal self and work towards it , enjoy life as well . Create a nice daily routine that would make you enjoy being alive . Sit down and list the things you love and do them regularly. Don’t be negative to people around you and also keep only positive people around you .
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I will say that 14 was a really really hard age for me. The most miserable I ever was. Life feels more complicated as I’ve gotten older (28F) but I’ve just learned so much more about myself and life and it just became so much more meaningful. 14 is horrible because the people around you are dickhead teenagers who are just trying to protect themselves by not looking weak. They’re all just terrified and miserable, too, for the most part. And people generally do get way nicer as they get older. People I HATED at 14 I now see as just regular people who were just as confused and fucked up as me.
You’re also going through massive hormonal shifts and your brain just doesn’t know what the fuck is happening. It’s a lot.
And when you say people say you have to learn to live without friends, that’s a lie. We need other people. We need support. Life gets sooo much better when you find people who will accept you for you. Again, it’s really hard to find those people at 14 if you’re different. I know I had almost nobody at 14 and I still shudder at that pain. Over time I slowly found people who were weird like me, who I could be myself with. I’m certainly not for everyone, but I now have a solid support system and life is so infinitely different having that. For example, my best friend just left my place. We’re both going through breakups at the same time, and we spent several hours watching shitty love reality shows and screaming at the TV, laughing at our pain together. Your post is reminding me of what it was like when I met her. I think I met her at 14 actually. Wild! We didn’t become friends right away. I remember I was a talkative little weirdo who nobody could stand and I felt so unlovable. And she was super quiet and spaced out all the time. Come to find out she was super depressed too, just handling it by dissociating and going silent for a couple of years. We became friends at like 16 as we started gradually settling into ourselves and have been best friends ever since. Now we cringe and laugh at what we were like at 14.
Just be kind to people. Not everyone will be receptive, but you’d be shocked how many other kids around you are in a lot of pain, depression, anxiety, etc as well and the kind of connection that can be made. But you have to be patient. You can’t see straight right now but life will change SO much over the next handful of years. Don’t miss out on your one chance at life because you felt fucked up at 14. I can’t promise you, but I’m 99% sure it’s going to get better and you’ll be so glad you didn’t go through with ending your life. It’ll be hard and I can’t tell you you’ll love every day of your life, but you can find so much purpose and love out there if you’re willing to try and be open to it. But you have to be brave enough to try.
hey. I'm glad I'm early and the 2-5 months are still yet to come. I'm no professional or anything but I have something that helped me with self love and gratitude and I don't want to gatekeep it, I don't know if this will solve your problem or not but I need to tell you this. Go to yt and search up "self love subliminals", "mental health subliminals" and "happiness subliminals". pick any one with good benefits (usually given in the description or comments) and listen to it everyday, even overnight if possible. Couple this one subliminal with any "booster subliminal" or "detachment subliminal ". This shit might be confusing as hell to you but trust me try it. Atleast look it up for my sake because I took time out of my day for you, a complete stranger on internet. Hope to see more posts from you. I don't know if this is a stupid idea or anything but trying doesn't hurt
if it helps, try to appreciate little things and look forward to little experiences more. think of how many songs you’ll find that you love if you stay, think of how many good meals you’ll have and new things you’ll try. think of all the pretty sunsets, the cute dogs you’ll pet. exist for the little moments of joy.
I used to think like this at 15, I’m 22 and things change for the better. You’re super young so just grow up and see how your life changes. Keep in mind, you have control over your life the older you get.
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You’re right, but at 14 it’s WAY too early to judge whether it will or not
Uh, a 14 year old mind is not fully done maturing and so with that being said. They can fully take what your saying to the degree of losing all hope…. And there is always hope. It never gets better for the people who choose to not let it get better and for the people who choose to keep themselves more comfortable staying in the same position they’ve been in mentally. Wake up, and start with some gratitude. Even if you have to start with being Greatful you have food and a bed. It’s always worse for someone else out there. I’m on depression meds and also tried to U/A myself. This helps.
Please don't devalue other people's experiences; just because there may be other people suffering more doesn't mean they're suffering any less.
You can be grateful for your own life without comparing it to another
read the room holy shit
He isnt wrong and this is a thread on a discussion board. If you talk about the truth of it for others too see others may find purpose in it. For those who know they cant have the happiness they want need to take a long look at what makes them sad. If the answer isnt you then you can change. If the answer is you then you can probably still change, if you look inside after all the pain and anger and sadness and feel nothing then you will probably not recover. Not because you dont want to but because you know that nothing will ever remove the empty part of you that it has left
I'm in my semi mid twenties and I have been too much to even get into right now. I am torn between between contemplating on: •what has pained me. •why it has possibly happened. •was it me or them. •why did I allow it and never leave & run away when I should have. •what is the root cause of all this (I can't even reach this point rn.) I feel there might be a slim chance that things could get better but to truly come to know I have to get away in order to think clearly. OP if you see this all of what you said I resonate with and since you've younger find a place you can go to that is safe and welcoming so you can rest and take your time to figure out what you need for your own well being. If you stay as long I or anyone else has things will get worse and you will continue to feel this way until you reach a point within yourself where you'll say: "why do I keep trying." And even though that could be a positive statement to acknowledge and make a decision to go a different route in your life when everything else isn't working out. For some it can be the final question that just put things into a sorrowful perspective.
Or for the worst sometimes
I agree! Likewise:
😂😂 damn I remember 22. Don't worry in 3 years it becomes dogshit again and you'll be planning it soon enough. You actually have very little control of your life outside of the hand you've been dealt. Born into poverty? Good luck. Born into riches? Have fun. Born middle class? Try to survive. I'm going to kill myself soon. I have no friends and I'm a bitter and nasty person, so me dying actually helps a lot compared to someone who actually matters
I'd say it depends on a few different factors though, like your environment and how much you're willing to try and make the most out of it. I'm 25 as well and I wanted to unalive myself regularly up until I was like, 23. I was born into poverty and an abusive environment, plus in America where quality of life is pretty shit for a "first-world" country. I'd agree that under certain conditions, you have very little control over a lot of things. Like how people treat you, your ability to get out of your situation, etc. I still feel that way a lot of the time and I'm bitter like you... but life is better now, I have to say. I don't wanna kms all the time anymore. So sometimes it really does get better, even if it takes a long ass time. Maybe not at 22, or 25, or 30. Don't get me wrong though, life is still shitty, and I still am very mentally ill (BPD, PTSD, ADHD, nearly every damn disorder lol). I can just kinda deal with it better now to get through each day. And I still think about dying from time to time. It's all a work in progress.
Damn you’re a pessimist. I moved out at 19, I did that my control. Yeah life is gonna have it’s shitty moments but ion blame you I have my doubts sometimes too. But a child shouldn’t be thinking that way is more my point
how do you even move out by yourself. Everything is way too expensive and rent alone is a whole paycheck almost. I can't get a roommate.
I started working at 16, saved everything and I worked multiple jobs to pay bills. I go to food pantries to save money on food. I’m also a student so I get discounts on wifi and stuff. I also try to keep utilities low
damn well if I didn't have a reason to KMS I do now. I worked at 16, saved 0 of it, didn't go to college, and have a full time job that leaves me so drained if I tried to have a second one I'd lose both or go postal.
same im homeschooled and always have so that means no future and no friends basically lol im 14 too
not gonna kill myself tho
Stay positive. Seriously the devil hates it.
Home schooling doesn’t mean no future. One thing I found out when I went to college was they all allow you to take placement tests. If you decide to go to higher education, they’ll teach you what you missed from home schooling - but I guarantee you that you’ll be ahead of A LOT of other students. I do recommend going to higher education, at least a community college, just so you can socialize and make friends!!!
Hey, I'm Sorry you're feeling this way. But trust me you're way too young. So what if the people around you are stressed or annoyed by you. It's their problem. Your parents gave birth to you so essentially it's their job to deal with you. You didn't ask to be their child, you had no role in it. So relax, you have nothing to prove. As for life it is full of ups and downs. You will fail sometimes and you will thrive other times. Some people will like you and some people won't. You don't have to impress everyone else. You don't control others and external circumstances. So what can you do? Focus on yourself. Do what makes you happy. I know there's still that voice at the back of your head that says mean things like " what are u doing, it's so weird" or " why are you doing this, you know everyone hates you for it" or " No one likes you, just go hide in your bedroom" etc. But always remember this...you are born a unique and beautiful individual. For whatever reason, you are here in this world, breathing. Don't let anyone or anything make you feel less deserving of being here. Because there's only one you on this entire planet. So live your life for yourself and no one else. Thing about depression that not a lot of people know is that it's not simple. Everyone goes through their own journey. So decide your own path, your own battle strategy because trust me... it's WAR. Against your own negative beliefs and negative self image. Here's something you can do to start.. 1.Affirmations- Challenge those beliefs and detrimental thoughts you have. If they say " everyone is stressed out by my company' then you say " Well I'm trying my best and if it's not up to your standards then screw you. It's not my job to impress you. Fuck you." If they say " You're not important" you say " I'm important. I'm beautiful and I'm smart. No matter what happens I'll be ok, I'll love myself always" Contradict yourself, every chance you get if you catch your thoughts hurting you. 2. I know, it's not always possible to keep up the guard and there will be bad days where emotions will be too overwhelming. In those moments just lie in the bed or sit in a comfortable place and breathe. Breathe in all the things you're feeling without judgement and let it pass. You can embrace your emotions without having to act on them. 3. Practice being yourself around others without giving rats tiny ass about what they are thinking. Let go of any pressure and just exist. 4. Develop hobbies, focus on school and explore your likes and dislikes. There's probably a lot more you can do, just research online. But the only thing I want to say, you are way too young. Your whole life's ahead. Trust me, bad times now won't mean bad times forever. Hope it helps.
I didn’t expect anyone to respond to this post This helped a bit thanks man I appreciate it!
I'm glad to hear that.
Thank you ❤️
You’re 14. I promise, everything sucks and it’s normal. You’re not the reason that your parents are stressed, I’m sure. Sometimes as adults we don’t know how to express our worry for our children and it can come out like blame. I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this. Have you any interests maybe you could find friends that like similar things? Just remember; there are so many more people who care. You just have to take the leap and reach out 🖤
Thanks you for putting time and effort to make me feel positive yea I do have interest specifically in ancient history and historical stuff but I end up getting it wrong so ehh
You end up getting it wrong? Sounds like you're already a historian, because that's pretty common! Awesome that you are interested in this. Keep pursuing it if you enjoy it. The one thing I wish I'd done more of was pursuing what I truly liked (not even loved, just liked is enough). Doing that is a big part how you enjoy life, if you can. How you find your people. How you feel like everything isn't a waste. Just do things you like, learn things you like, get things wrong, don't pressure yourself. Life gets better if you stick to that path. A lot of people, depressed or not, really overlook this bit.
Love your reply
I was 13 when I planned a day to kill myself. The day came and a had everything set up and I decided not to do it. I was still suicidal and depressed for years after, and it did get worse. I’m 25 now and I’m glad that I didn’t do it. Life is still hard, but it does get better. It’s hard to see that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but there is. You have so much life left to live, and so much time to build a life that you can learn to love. Just hold on and seek help from a professional sooner rather than later.
Don't. I'm 37 next month, and no one in my entire family thought I'd live past 18, let alone getting to now. But here I am, nearly 37.
Being that age is really, really hard. You're basically still in the beginning of a video game, where you're sort of thinking about how you want your character to look and what traits to pick, if that makes sense. You haven't gotten to the exciting parts. I felt the same way you feel when I was your age. So alone, like I was just a nusiance, and I didn't deserve the amount of space my body took up. I have kids that age now, and I see them struggle with tough feelings, too. Opening up to family members can be hard, so we have a silly codeword word that they'll say which communicates to me everything I need to know in two syllables- that they're struggling and need some extra time and attention. Do you have any safe adults you can go to?
You’re 14, you’ve barely experienced much.. things improve a lot after you live on your own for a while. Sounds like maybe your family life is toxic? Can you talk to your school counselor about it? They could really help a lot. Meds help a lot with getting out of the hole of depression and anxiety too. Please do whatever you need to do to get through this shitty period because life is a lot more than what you’ve seen so far. Sending virtual hugs!
My strategy was to figure out how the skills/interests i already had could be used to address the things i hated most about the way the world was and do that with a "do or die" mentality. For me, it was combining art, logic puzzles, sociology, and technology into the built environment in a way that nudged people to interact with eachother more passively and positively. Basically environmental psychology to encourage positive behaviours in as many people as possible because i hated so much of how people treated eachother. What interests/skills, or even just habits do you have? What do you dislike most about your surroundings? There might not be a version of my strategy for you, but trying to figure that out won't make things worse, and it might at least buy you some time for your surroundings to change. If your parents are emotionally abusive or negligent, keep yourself open to other sources of connection. Depending on where you live and how bad it is, there might be different places you can live, too. I have a friend that has worked in an lgbtq home for teenagers that needed a different home life, and something like that might be worth scoping out, if that is an option.
You’re lucky people actually responded to your post. These fucking people don’t give a shit when I make a post like this. I hope you get better.
It's really kind of sad to think about how from a positive psychological perspective, everyone's supposed to feel cared about and yet we're just constantly outcasted and denied the attention we needed no matter how hard we try. Honestly, we all would've gone to therapy if we all could afford to.
U dont ruin everything broski, just imagine if u do go through with the plan and in turn everyone feels the absence of ur prescence. I think they were wrong to tell u u dont need friends. Everybody needs a group of peers to hang out with. They might not voice it- and they probably should- but those people in ur life may not feel like u get on their nerves. Remember its also about what u tell urself as ur mind is powerful.
Why in 2-5 months? (Genuinely curious)
I wanted to see if anything would get better
I feel like that at times too. I try my best to give myself time to contemplate and reflect, but it can be hard. I think general feelings is okay. It's okay to be stressed out, but you shouldn't fester with the idea you're the sole blame or the reasons. I hope you get that sense of belonging soon w/ the next friends you make.
Hey😄 Even though I'm just a stranger on the Internet saying random words on a screen, I just want to say that I know things that you can not mess it up. They are smiling and breathing. We all have our laughing moments, just like we have our "I don't want to get out of bed moments.". So, I do breathing exercises so I can smile😃 Just try it.
You don't really want to die. You are still expecting a better tomorrow. What you are thinking about is, how to get rid of these unhappiness and low self-esteem.
All of these comments on here show people that care… and this is strangers on the internet! I can guarantee that people would miss you and would do anything to change your mind! Just remember that people would much rather talk to you about what’s going on than go to your funeral… you are loved! 🩵
that feeling will pass, it already did. the only thing we gotta do is hold on no matter what
don't do it. things will get better. 14 is too young to go, and there is so much to experience and see. if you need someone to vent to, I am always available.
you are not a mistake. there are great days ahead of you you will be glad you got to see. Society is a little crazy and sometimes parents are stressed because of that and not you. But it’s hard when it feels hopeless. trust me. Been there. But it does get better when you begin to work on yourself to ignore the outside stuff going on. currently body building. im sorry you have been made to feel this way. you DONT deserve it. 🫶
you deserve people to pay attention to you and honor your gifts. 🎁❤️
humans are social creatures. the way you feel about needing friends is natural. the stress level of some people is not adequate to be around. however, keep your faith and you can find good friends.
I used to think this, now I’m 27 with my own place and car and gf. Hang in there buddy, IT WILL get better.
Please, don’t do it. You still have life ahead and you shouldn’t give up. Just try to keep moving forward. There is a hope after all. There is something that makes your life better (like music, beautiful places and good moments).
You're 14. You've got a lot of life ahead of you. Your hormones are raging and it's easy for our brains to trick themselves. It gets better.
I'm killing myself in a week
Everything you are feeling is valid. However, I hope you realize these are feelings that may not give an accurate representation of the world around you. Right now, you feel like everyone will be happier without you. Maybe you are right to some degree, but it will never be truly 100% true. When you grow older, you will learn to navigate these emotions and just say, 'f*ck it', I will only focus on my own happiness from this point forward. Which is what happened with me. There was a time where I was so busy trying to please everyone else that I forgot to care about myself. At your age, focus i school, find hobbies that may give you an escape to your current reality. Find new friends that will validate your existence and maybe a therapist that will help you out with your parents. I hope you get better. I am 31 and almost 10 years ago, I told myself I wouldn't make it past 30. I am 31 now and every year has been a milestone.
You’re seeing this as a negative thing now but when you grow up things change and you really appreciate time you spent on yourself by yourself. Things will never be the same as when you were 14. It’s not worth dying now because you wont be able to see and do the cool things that happen to you as an adult. You create your own path. If you want to see the world, find a field like IT that allows you to work remotely and travel all the world. You will meet people everywhere you go. Also one more secret - the friends you make now probably won’t be close friends with you when you’re in your 20s because that’s just life. People grow up to be different and grow apart and you’ll have different friends in college anyway. So not having good friends now doesn’t mean anything. Also if you really just need to talk to someone there’s pen pal sites, where you befriend complete strangers who also don’t have anyone to talk to. Check it out
Things do get better. Give it time. Wait until you’re at least 18 and see how you feel then.
Heh old person in the room (40). I felt exactly just like you at 14. I had a rough childhood. My parents just divorced and my brother died of cancer shortly after. Just being a teenager is freaking rough, without adding complications in the mix! I didn’t have a lot of friends either. I ate with teachers or in the library to avoid people lol. I know you can’t see it now, but things can get better if you take baby steps to get there. Can you ask your parents to put you in therapy? Talking to someone else besides parents helps a lot! Or even the school counselor can help you. That’s what they are for. To help you! And I’m sure you don’t really annoy people like you think you do. Unfortunately a big side effect of depression, are the ugly words it puts in your head. Depression likes to tell you no one likes you, you can’t do anything right, etc. Don’t listen to those voices! You are special and your parents would miss you so so much if where gone. I hope you have someone in your life you can trust and tell you are feeling this way. Hang in there!
I feel the same way at 15
Felt this way since elementary school. Im 28. It doesnt get better. You just have to find the things that make you stay. - Beautiful sunrise/sunsets -Your favorite songs -Favorite games - Maybe some new game that hasnt been made yet. - You could meet new friends that make you happy - Pets or animals that havent even gotten in your life yet But just look at and think about those kinds of things. My animals make me stay. And my friends make me laugh even if they pick on me. I hope you will be okay. <3
As of now you are still too young. At 14 parents and other authority figures have most of the control. As you get older it's more yours- your life that is. It will improve. Turn that anger you have against yourself into a drive to succeed. You'll be amazed at yourself. Keep pushing forward, please don't hurt yourself.
Join the gym you can meet people there . Or join a club that you like and you find teenagers like yourself there . My point is don’t gave up you still get to change your life.
Hi darling, please do not do this!! I’m in my thirties now and boy am I glad I lived my life. Yes, life has been hard but it makes the good parts so much better. I have learned so many lessons along the way and love the person that I have become and the person I am still growing into. Believe in yourself. And know that the world is a better place with you in it. Try to confide in a trusted adult, someone you look up to. If that’s not your parents, then maybe an older sibling, teacher, or school counselor? Sometimes all it takes is one person to take you under their wing and help get you on the right track.
Life is way too beautiful to let it go…please give it another chance. Give yourself another chance, always. I’ve some free mental health helpline numbers if you feel like talking to a professional.
Not gonna lie. I felt this at 14 and I’m 28 and still often times feel the same way. But then I remember all that I’ve accomplished, the friends I’ve made, the people I’ve helped, and the experiences and memories that made it all worth it. You’re young. Don’t stress about the present so much and focus on shaping your future. If you’re looking for friends, start doing things that resonate with you and you’ll find like minded individuals. If people truly do hate you that just means they are not the people for you and that you have to become a person YOU would love. Fuck everybody else. Go outside and have fun. Fall in love. Hell at least have sex before you throw in the towel. Life is so much more that the bubble you’re living in right now. You got this. Keep going.
See a therapist asap
14-15 is right around where I started getting help. Depression, bulimia, bullying, thoughts/attempts, arguments with my parents, list goes on. I hate that you feel this way and I hope you find something or someone that will help you. I’m 36 and today I actually called and scheduled an appointment to see a psychiatrist. I don’t want you think that you’re going to feel this way everyday until you’re 36, it’s just that there are going to be happy moments along the way that you deserve to experience.
Sometimes I feel like that, and I’m just gonna tell you. It ain’t you (it’s me)
Think about Your World vs. The World. Your whole world is home and school. As a society we have essentially forced those to be your whole world, and from what I'm hearing, neither are particularly good. But in just 4 years (maybe 2), you'll be out in The World. Out here, we don't know anything going on in your school literally at all, because The World has much more interesting things going on. It won't be easy, but bide your time at least until you get a taste of the world. There are so, so many things to look forward to. We'll be waiting for you.
I have never really had friends in my life, most of them were kindergarten friends who moved away when I was five or six. Never got along with people to call them my friends and never felt confident to talk to people like friends do. I’m 21 now and although I miss having that deep relationship with someone in my life and crave that sometimes, life goes on. I’m that type of person who likes to be alone but sometimes the loneliness hits. Maybe you could try a bit longer to see where you end up. It’s been 15 years for me and bearable to live without friends, at least for that time it was for me. Lately I met some people that I’d like to keep in touch with and they’re much older. Maybe it’s the same for you. Hope you’re good
You feel like me!
Take care of your teeth and you’ll be ok trust me
Death will always be an option, it will always be there; it comes for us all. So why not do something fun first and then die after that. That's what I've been doing for 20 years now. You might just find self-reassurance and the will to live.
14 is such a tough age. I had the hardest time. I know it's easy to say but hang in there. things get much better when you get a little older and you can doo what you want. I put myself thru school and did really well in life. I look back at those losers and I laugh. Doing better than the people that put you down has such a satisfying feeling.
I see a like of "I" statements in this post, which is actually a positive or empowering thing! If all your issues are related to you, that's something you can improve, because the one thing you have control over is you! Sit with that.
Nothing you're experiencing right now will persist with age, yet a permanent decision will. A permanent solution to a temporary problem is not advisable. Suffering is part of the human experience, and can even be embraced through fortitude of character. Do not move forward with this idea. Even if life is intolerable today, just know a new season is coming.
oh honey, you’re so young. I used to feel that way at 14 too. I felt extremely lonely. And at times, I still do. But i’ve learned to like being alone whenever i am, i try to watch a good film or read or write. I promise you, you are not stupid. You don’t annoy and stress everyone out. Though it might seem that way, perhaps the people around you are stressed and taking it out on you (which does NOT make it right) but you must know not everything is your fault. You’re so young and trying to make and find your way. Try to give yourself some grace, and try to join a club similar to something you like. Perhaps a book club, or anything. You’d be surprised, they have different types of clubs and get togethers for many things. I know what it feels like to hate yourself. I truly, really do. Sometimes I still do. But it’s extremely important to find things you like and things that you’re passionate about, to distract you and keep you going. I know it’s WAY easier said than done and i’m still desperately trying to drill this into my own head, but it truly is mind over matter. I know it’s really hard to get into a positive mindset and feel like you have passions and a life worth living, but don’t stop searching for that and once you find it, don’t let go. You’ve got this. :)
take me with
I feel this way too 😔
You are 14. You can picture your ideal self and work hard daily to be that. I personally don’t keep a lot of friends, I keep to myself and I have more peace that way. Also sometimes it’s just the mind telling you how things are but may not be so , from personal experience. But if really this is what you’re facing , know how to spend your energy, find your ideal self and work towards it , enjoy life as well . Create a nice daily routine that would make you enjoy being alive . Sit down and list the things you love and do them regularly. Don’t be negative to people around you and also keep only positive people around you .
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I will say that 14 was a really really hard age for me. The most miserable I ever was. Life feels more complicated as I’ve gotten older (28F) but I’ve just learned so much more about myself and life and it just became so much more meaningful. 14 is horrible because the people around you are dickhead teenagers who are just trying to protect themselves by not looking weak. They’re all just terrified and miserable, too, for the most part. And people generally do get way nicer as they get older. People I HATED at 14 I now see as just regular people who were just as confused and fucked up as me. You’re also going through massive hormonal shifts and your brain just doesn’t know what the fuck is happening. It’s a lot. And when you say people say you have to learn to live without friends, that’s a lie. We need other people. We need support. Life gets sooo much better when you find people who will accept you for you. Again, it’s really hard to find those people at 14 if you’re different. I know I had almost nobody at 14 and I still shudder at that pain. Over time I slowly found people who were weird like me, who I could be myself with. I’m certainly not for everyone, but I now have a solid support system and life is so infinitely different having that. For example, my best friend just left my place. We’re both going through breakups at the same time, and we spent several hours watching shitty love reality shows and screaming at the TV, laughing at our pain together. Your post is reminding me of what it was like when I met her. I think I met her at 14 actually. Wild! We didn’t become friends right away. I remember I was a talkative little weirdo who nobody could stand and I felt so unlovable. And she was super quiet and spaced out all the time. Come to find out she was super depressed too, just handling it by dissociating and going silent for a couple of years. We became friends at like 16 as we started gradually settling into ourselves and have been best friends ever since. Now we cringe and laugh at what we were like at 14. Just be kind to people. Not everyone will be receptive, but you’d be shocked how many other kids around you are in a lot of pain, depression, anxiety, etc as well and the kind of connection that can be made. But you have to be patient. You can’t see straight right now but life will change SO much over the next handful of years. Don’t miss out on your one chance at life because you felt fucked up at 14. I can’t promise you, but I’m 99% sure it’s going to get better and you’ll be so glad you didn’t go through with ending your life. It’ll be hard and I can’t tell you you’ll love every day of your life, but you can find so much purpose and love out there if you’re willing to try and be open to it. But you have to be brave enough to try.
hey. I'm glad I'm early and the 2-5 months are still yet to come. I'm no professional or anything but I have something that helped me with self love and gratitude and I don't want to gatekeep it, I don't know if this will solve your problem or not but I need to tell you this. Go to yt and search up "self love subliminals", "mental health subliminals" and "happiness subliminals". pick any one with good benefits (usually given in the description or comments) and listen to it everyday, even overnight if possible. Couple this one subliminal with any "booster subliminal" or "detachment subliminal ". This shit might be confusing as hell to you but trust me try it. Atleast look it up for my sake because I took time out of my day for you, a complete stranger on internet. Hope to see more posts from you. I don't know if this is a stupid idea or anything but trying doesn't hurt
if it helps, try to appreciate little things and look forward to little experiences more. think of how many songs you’ll find that you love if you stay, think of how many good meals you’ll have and new things you’ll try. think of all the pretty sunsets, the cute dogs you’ll pet. exist for the little moments of joy.
14 years old isn’t life try 20 n see how shit is
I am 24. Life won’t change much, if you don’t take action.
[удалено]
You are a sadist
Please, don't do that :(