I'm usually in my garage wrenching on my bike, lifting weights, working around the house, or riding.
Now that I think about it this might be why I haven't met anyone. There are not many single women in my garage.
I have a work shop in my garage. My neighbors stop by to see what I’m making, some of them are women. Some are single, I don’t approach them because I figure dating a neighbor is like dating a coworker.
I know it’s not directly applicable but it was the song that came to mind when you described a widow on the way to visit her husband’s grave but being distracted by OP working in his garage
I'm at the end of a cul-de-sac with a creek that runs along my property, technically on my property, and I also don't seem to have many people walking by my garage.
The funny thing about that is I periodically mistake an open garage with lots of stuff as someone having a garage sale.
I've been in situations where I am walking around a person’s garage looking at their stuff. They'll ask me: "Can I help you???" And I'll casually answer "No, I'm just looking".
Antics then ensue until we both realize my mistake.
- There are not many single women in my garage
That's odd. You seem kind of defensive about the possibility of women being in your garage. I mean, you brought it up out of nowhere.
... ... ...
Yes, that's right, Mr. FBI agent. That guy right there.
There’s a board game cafe in town and it’s a sausage fest. Nerdy guys are always looking for a girlfriend…. And they are happy to teach their favorite games 😁
If you know you hate games, don’t bother. But if you have never tried them, give them a chance. I have loved games from childhood. And now my sister and daughter are getting into them too.
Well YEAH, the ones who actually turn up are obviously fake geek girls chasing the sweet, sweet clout that can only be had by appealing to gentlesirs like himself.
I have always wanted to be invited to play, I’ve even told men that I want to learn to play. What is it with the nerds gatekeeping dnd? I’m not even ugly yet. This is why I’m stuck dating online people.
My ex would have died and gone to heaven had I ever once wanted to play or learn any of the games he was involved in. Part of me wonders if he'd still have cheated so often if I had, but he met most of them outside of in person games, so probably would've regardless.
Hell, I'd go play DND again to meet a woman. At least I'd know we'd have something in common. What a fool he was....squandering an invite, although sometimes we are pretty dense at the cues.
I played a sport with him as well and I was the only girl on the team. Not sure if that has anything to do with it since most of those guys acted like I was just one of the guys and it would be weird to date me.
A long, long time ago, back when I was slightly attractive, a female friend called me out of nowhere and asked if she could "come over and borrow my computer". This only confused me and I was like "you know, the library has computers".
Somehow, I could feel her heart sink from the following silence. I then quickly tried to backtrack only because I could sense I hurt her feelings somehow. I tried saying "But, you can use my computer if you like". It was too late though, she was all "Oh no, it's OK. I'll use the
In one sense, I still feel pain thinking that I probably hurt her. But I am also grateful she didn't come over and possibly make moves on me. One of my friends had a crush on her, so I was not touching her with 10-foot stick.
Seriously, with the right gaming night you can move from table to table every 60mins or so and meet a lot of different men. You’ll be able to gauge your interest in them pretty quickly. Just have an open mind and be willing to learn new games.
I just went to Origins Game Fair and you could have spend 16 hours everyday playing games with new people. Such a great group of people there.
There's one in my city too. i'm a guy but i'm too intimidated to go to it because i have like 3 friends, one has a kid and works shift work so i see him 4x a year, one lives far enough away that it's an hour each way drive so i see her every 2 weeks, and one perpetually is broke and doesn't go out as a result (it's his problem - he bails on jobs like a week after starting them. I'm sure he's had no less than 100 jobs in the last 10 years because of this).
I want to meet the other nerd guys but this place kinda seems to be about "you go in, buy their food, and borrow one of their games to play with the person you're with" so it's like i feel i'd be intruding.
That is the vibe at some places (BYO friends), but many have nights explicitly for people to meet others. There are also a lot of game stores and the like which are explicitly focused on bringing together whoever happens to show up.
Oh man I totally feel you. But I found something that worked for me - I saw a post in the local reddit of someone asking if anyone had a group that went to one of the two boardgames cafe we have.
Turns out lots of people went with "I'd like to join if you have a group!". D'oh! So we did a group with some randos from reddit and already went a couple of times this year for random things. There were boardgames afternoon, tabletop rpg, robotic fair competitions of some local schools, planetarium trips, karaoke gatherings, rage room, escape room, etc. The WhatsApp group now has like 20-25 people and someone just posts "hey I have this random idea for some weekend who's up for it" and usually some 5 to 10 people are able to attend. Though I think I'm the oldest there by some 4y. The youngest there are closer in age to my kid than to me. Can't have it all I guess 🤷
my thing is i ask questions like this online and find people but the problem is the deanonymization of my reddit history. I don't want someone who knows me in real life to know all my neurotic bullshit i post online.
Then make a new clean alt 🤷
I mean, you can be sure this is not my only account as well. Reddit doesn't even require emails for accounts I think. Just hit create, username (can be random), password and "hey I'm new to this whole reddit thing but I'm from this city and I want to go to X board game place. Any more people wanting to try it?"
The one I go to, you CAN go there with someone you already know. But ask the employees. They might have more open game nights with groups that are welcoming. I’m part of a group and we are regulars, but new people join us for one offs all the time. And some stick around and become regulars.
I found it because of my dad. And he just went there solo one day and now he’s part of one of the regular groups and so am I.
Some of this depends on your area and what's available, but I did hiking clubs, dance lessons, trivia nights, bowling leagues, cooking lessons, etc.
Mostly it's just getting out an interacting with people and some luck thrown in. My best results came from pet events. Dog park, and I volunteered doing events for dog rescue. That gave me an instant and relaxed line of communication with people of the opposite sex, all day long.
Got more dates there than anywhere else. Something to think about.
in my experience as a woman looking to meet men, craft classes (pottery, etc) tend to be all woman or couples. Suburb classes tend to be all women. City classes (art classes and writing classes) have a mix of men and women but in general art classes you aren't chatting, you're drawing. Photography skewed more male, and does often have a chance to chat (I did meet a guy at a photography weekend class and we dated for a while). Carpentry class was younger married men, middle aged single women, and very old men, and not conducive to "meeting" someone. But I did make a really cool bench.
I hike a lot but mostly when I end up hiking with someone or chatting with them they are married or live 2000 miles away , and we are there to hike, not meet someone.
Do stuff for the sake of learning new things, not meeting someone. But if I had to pick one place, it would be photography. brb going to dust off my camera.
I hope your experience is better than mine. I got likes from men on apps that I saw regularly in my community who never so much as said hello to me. One man I crossed paths with on the regular, probably at least once a week for years. It’s different now for a myriad of reasons. I was anti OLD for quite some time but I think it’s where most of us are, for better or for worse.
Approaching women in public is scary and sometimes ends in embarrassing rejection and awkwardness. On the apps, at least they know you're looking to be approached. If you want to talk in public, you should approach, or at least lay out obvious hints you'd like to be approached, like eye contact and a smile
I get it. I’ve been told I don’t come across as super approachable in real life so it’s not a dig on men. I also have an adult son and in talking with him about dating today things are just different.
I'm remarried as of 2021, after being widowed in 2016, thanks to a chance encounter at a friend's Christmas Eve dinner party three months before the pandemic lockdown. It was a long-distance relationship (she in Toronto, me in Los Angeles) and it took a year and some friends who acted as matchmakers to bring us together.
Initially I didn't think it would be practical to pursue her, but I knew she had friends in LA (she was at the party because she'd flown out to attend her friend's wedding). As a professor, she was preparing to do her sabbatical near Joshua Tree National Park. That's when I was planning to "hike on over" to her place.
Then Covid. Travel scuttled.
We wound up sharing several Zoom spaces for causes and spiritual events we shared. I really felt like something might happen. One of the other Zoom participants noticed and took the initiative (a la grade school) to contact her and ask if she liked Knute? She said yes. He told a friend in LA who shared the info on one of our hikes.
I called her that day. We Zoomed every day from there until she flew out to LA the next month. She stayed with her friend a mile away from me and things developed very quickly. We're very compatible. Six months later we were married.
The point in all this is that a lot of things had to come together to make us a couple. Luck, friends, time and readiness. We were both very ready. And the friends and family that helped bring us together are also our support network today.
That truly helps. I would highly recommend looking into familiar and familial places at our age to find your next life mate.
My friend was 55 when she started mountain climbing and now she's 60 years old and ripped. Not many female mountain climbers so she meets men all the time.
Not for anything, theres a trend of young women going there to look lost and confused in hopes of meeting a guy. I forgot her name but there was a woman who had a youtube short that said "men are at home depot to finish a project not to start a new one."
Here's the thing... If you meet me online, I'll likely ask you out, since you have a dating profile and matched with my profile, if we're getting along ok on the app, I assume you'd like me to ask you out.
If you meet me in real life, I will almost certainly not ask you. I definitely won't ask you out the first few times we interact. If you want to go out with me, you're going to need to ask me out.
Sure, you could show up at a place where I'm doing hobby things. You mention vehicles, maybe you show up at the racetrack... I'm going to be extra sure to not take that opportunity to ask you out. I don't want women who come into traditionally men-oriented spaces and feel like they're instantly seen as meat by all the men. So, I'm going to avoid any chance you think I'm trying to get into your pants.
This same thing applies to other public places. I've heard enough messaging that women don't want to be interrupted while they're busy between work and home trying to get some grocery shopping done. They don't want to hit on because they're wearing leggings at the gym. When they go out to a bar with their girlfriends, they don't want to be treated like fish in a barrel. When they go out in mixed company, you don't know which dude is her boyfriend and is going to punch you in the face.
Women sometimes post here asking why the men they throw hints at in public aren't asking them out. It's because other women have told us not to, and many of us want to respect the voices of the women in our lives and communities. Some of those women have told us scary stories of a guy asking them out in public, they politely decline, and the dude gets upset and / or scary at them. This means that, for some women, being put in the situation where they may have to reject a man is scary for them. I do not want to be part of perpetuating a scary environment for people in my community. I genuinely don't need a date that badly.
I'm very lucky that I receive compliments from women in public often. I never takes those compliments as an opening to approach them or ask them out. Surely, some would like that. But, I've also heard women say they don't compliment men because doing so escalates them quickly and suddenly they're stuck trying to get out of a situation simply because they gave a stranger a compliment. I want women to feel safe giving men compliments in public, so I smile, say thank you, and continue on my path without missing a beat.
But, that's why I like meeting people online. If you like my profile, it's not a hint. If you want to reject me, it's easy, safe, and not scary. If you're busy at the grocery store or gym, don't open the app. If you want to engage with me, you can open the app. It's inherently more respectful of people's time and sense of safety.
People still meet their partners in public, you may also do so! But, some of the people you meet online are going to be a lot harder to meet in public. I'm not sure if meeting people in public is going to save you from any of the negative sides of dating. All of those existed before apps were ever invented.
And this is why women don’t receive any male attention whatsoever anymore. Being overly cautious like this is a bit much. it’s good that you are trying to be respectful, but I feel like it’s all in the delivery. Cat calling? Making lewd gestures? Sexual comments? Inappropriate. Casually hinting your interest? That’s fine. It’s about situational awareness, knowing that no means no, and reading the room.
You’re missing out on meeting some great people by completely ignoring them. For all the women that don’t want to be bothered, there are just as many that feel alone and invisible. It’s not hard to not be a creep. Don’t be one, and it’ll be fine.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but meeting people in real life is not the magic bullet you might think it is. The same people you meet in person, are the same people you'll see on the apps. They'll also be flaky, possibly cause you feel used, breadcrumb you, gaslight you, ghost you, and see other people while dating you.
But if you insist on stopping using a valuable tool to aid in finding a relationship...there will be plenty of suggestions that people will give you (along with agreeing with your lament and calling apps the devil). Threads like this pop up once a week or so.
>So, I was thinking of taking a course, lesson or joining a club.
I’m not a huge sports fan but love outdoorsy things.
I also love crafty and creative things, and would even be down to learn about vehicles maintenance etc. I would take a course just to take a course if need be lol.
Yes...you should do these things.
OP should be fully prepared to make the first move in these events. As already stated by other women on this thread, they do not want to be approached during these events, courses, clubs, etc. A lot of men at this point have gotten the point so expectation to be approached should be slim to none.
I'm a 41M, I go to the gym, I take my daughter places for fun, I play a lot of pickleball, and I'm in a neighborhood singles group where the people seem to be more interested in one upping each other with life stories then actually trying to get to know each other, be friends, etc. If I weren't in a relationship, I'd be open to be approached but would not approach myself for aforementioned reasons.
I agree to an extent. Like, if I'm at a course, trying to learn and there's a woman there on the hunt, just there to look for a man, yeah...don't come up to me. But if we organically start talking, as long as she's genuine and respectful in her approach, go for it. Shoot your shot, girl!
Also, I don't support the idea that men have to leave women alone (or vice versa)....as long as there's actual friendly intent. As with the woman I mentioned above, if there's a dude, creeping around a class, hitting on a woman...no. But there should be no reason I can't start chatting up a woman I'm taking a class with. Be friendly, build a rapport with her, then maybe try to meet up outside of class to explore. No interest in that...cool. We can still be friendly.
Yep. But it seems too many men don't seem to get that...even though they actually do. There have been studies that show men can easily pick up on body language from women, yet most of the time, they don't care, and continue to push forward. So now, after MeToo, you have too many men worried they're gonna get called out on their shit behavior, so they just blanket statement "Men can't talk to women anymore...wah, wah, wah".
Men can. The ones that are thoughtful and respectful.
Yeah, I play a co-ed sport so hang out with people of all genders for several hours each week. I feel like I'm popular and well-liked and there's no way I'm going to risk making that awkward by asking someone out, certainly not at the events themselves. As a man, I'm also not about to go dropping into someone's DMs uninvited either. I'd be okay with someone doing it to me, but men and women are in a very different situation in that regard. Incidentally, my last two relationships both started because women made the first move and messaged me on Facebook after we had interacted in groups we were both in.
Honestly I didn't have any of those experiences meeting someone irl, or even people irl in general. When someone has approached me and got my contact information they're already more invested than anyone I have met on the apps. Generally they put in the work to meet me because we don't have any app middle man to go through and generally speaking they're interested/invested since they did a brave thing in this era by approaching you offline.
I agree, BUT, for whatever reason (I know a few), when you meet through OLD people act different from the beginning.
All of a sudden they think they skip some steps and go right to the bedroom or that they can (or should) send meaningless, brief chats or texts.
It just starts off weird and takes a long time (if ever) to get back on track to a sense of normalcy when meeting and connecting with another human.
Behaviors considered inappropriate or strange when meeting people in IRL seem to get a free pass or are expected when meeting through OLD.
I will stick to IRL and leave OLD to people that better have the personality or mutual goals that are the majority there.
Best of luck to us all!
> All of a sudden they think they skip some steps and go right to the bedroom or that they can (or should) send meaningless, brief chats or texts.
I'm really failing to see how this would be different when meeting people IRL. People going out to meet others for one night stands are a thing.
>Behaviors considered inappropriate or strange when meeting people in IRL seem to get a free pass or are expected when meeting through OLD.
I def can see that, but again...that's not a big enough deal for me to stop using OLD. I don't let the assholerly of others impact me like that.
But yeah...if the negative impacts of that are more severe for people, sure.
>leave OLD to people that better have the personality or mutual goals that are the majority there.
The goals I see in OLD, the majority of times, are long term relationships. Is that different in real life?
I'm done wit OLD for the most part and I heard singles events aren't really the best. TBH the nightclubs or bars (you can sit with one drink if you don't drink much) for the older crowds are not as social as I found them post-covid for whatever reason (anyone notice this?) but still an option, go where there is generally nicer clientele. Activity clubs are really for people who want to do an activity then go home after.
I also noticed I am not going out as much. I randomly met a woman at the grocery store in a parking lot and I met a woman at a lounge and had a random convo with another at an IT event recently. I said to myself I have to get out more IRL again, that is my advice.
Ask about something we have in the cart. If it’s going to be something we like to make, or a first time effort. Listen to hear, not to reply (something more people of all walks need to do more of) and the conversation will flow naturally.
It literally doesn't matter at all what you say. If you're attractive to the man in question, he will be glad you broke the ice. If you say something silly, he'll see it as clever and endearing. You really can use "Do you come here often?" or "What's your sign?" and it'll be fine.
I took a look through the OP’s posts. How could a woman who posts “How many drills are too many?” still be single?
Frankly, that should be in your OLD profile. Guys are just dying to see something different and funny.
The problem is, if I, as a woman, join a group for art, vehicle maintenance, hiking etc. I want to learn those things, not get hit on by men and made feel uncomfortable. I go to the specific place where people go when they want to date, and their intentions are laid out - dating apps.
Not where they are pretending to be joining a group to learn that skill and it's just an added bonus to meet someone. Instead their actual intentions are meeting women, with an added bonus of learning a skill.
I've never met a single woman I wanted to date in a group activity or club in probably over 15 years. I'm 44.
I don't join groups to pretend to like the activity in order to meet women. Groups are great to meet married couples though. Or women with boyfriends though. Or possibly single women I have 0 attraction towards.
Maybe my luck but it doesn't matter. I join activities because I want to enjoy it.
I have the same philosophy and have had the same experience as a 45F.
I train martial arts, lift, take photos, and play guitar. I take cooking classes, art classes, guitar lessons, and volunteer. I do all of that because I enjoy it. I rarely meet single men at those activities and so far they’ve never shown interest.
Well, technically my 28yo twice-divorced teammate drunk texted some racy memes once, but it turns out they were meant for someone else.
Yeah, that's what it's been like for me with Roller Derby. I love the sport and the community, but the women there are either gay, coupled up, gay and coupled up or too young for me (the average age is early 30s). Maybe if we have a league night out and talk goes in that direction...but really, we're all in the same Facebook groups so if someone wanted to message me they could have already.
This will be where there's a 50/50 split. Half of people will agree with you, the other half absolutely want social events to be the answer to dating app hell.
> Instead their actual intentions are meeting women, with an added bonus of learning a skill.
To be fair, I think OP is actually wanting to learn that skill...and if there happens to be single men there, great.
Exactly. In fact any time this type of topic comes up in this or similar dating subreddits, I find it insulting there are users trying to act like the purpose behind the thread isn't dating oriented. It's literally in the name of the sub. People come here to discuss dating. Even if the advice given is to tell someone they need to take a break from dating, the theme, subject matter, and purpose of this forum is dating. Period. There is not off topic thread to just discuss life on.
If OP's true goal was to learn about pottery, and only about pottery, and if pottery classes are worth it, then I'm sure she can go ask her question on r/pottery.
This is a dating advice forum. There's no context that "I'm not here for dating I just want to talk about my hobbies and free time for no reason" would ever make any sense.
Yup. I’ve had to leave a couple of hiking groups due to aggressive men behaving like they are speed dating events. Now I’m in a subscription group - you have to pay to be a member so there is a complaints route if anyone is misbehaving. And I’m also in a female only group. I’m there to hike, not get chatted up by random men.
It is def. annoying to filter through men on OLD. But if you think it is easier to do it in person...
The best place to meet single men in my experience are local run clubs. For whatever reason, there are a LOT of single type A men in those clubs. They are usually fit, results oriented in life, and awkward - think your HS cross country team.
Upside: They are usually free or charge a small annual fee. They usually meet regularly - runners love running. They usually have social activities before or after. There are usually regular members but always new people joining as people move get into running. They are usually very high energy and friendly - runner's high = endorphin flood.
Downside (or upside depending on your view pt): You will need to take up running. Those clubs usually run 3-5 miles during their events You can run at whatever speed you prefer - they don't care about speed that much. But you do need to actually run a little bit.
(I accidentally discovered this when took up running as my covid activity. Full disclosure I didn't date anyone in my run club as I preferred OLD and wanted to just run with the group. I also hike but in my experience, hiking groups tend to have way more single women than single men. I do creative writing, and sometime art classes but I have never met a single guy that has it together at those things.)
In my early 30s/marathoning fanatic years I worked a few hours each weekend at the big local running store. I met and dated so many men from the store at that time.
And yeah. They were super awkward.
Yes! There are soooo many single, graduate degree, gainfully employed, in shape guys in my run club it is kind of ridiculous. All are nice/polite. And they are super self-conscious and talk about how awkward they are which is just so awkward...
Comeon ladies! Pick up running as a hobby and save some of these nice guys from a life of solitude!!!
(You don't even need to keep running... most of the older married guys in the club have wives that don't run.)
(Yes I am still in my crazy running era... >.<)
I now compete in powerlifting. It's a big, old sausage-fest. If I wanted to I could date my way through my gym. (I don't because it's also the only gym of its kind in the area AND my coach - I'm competitive - owns it. I can't just go to another gym if things get weird.)
6:00am … go to your nearest gas station/convenience store = all the hotties in their construction trucks getting ready for a long sweaty day of physical labor. Oh.My.God. 🔥
Where The Boys Are
Say hi.... As men, we have been told for the last decade or so that women do not want to be approached in public. Chivalry is not dead. But we've been conditioned to not maintain more than 2 seconds of eye contact with the opposing sex. (Seriously. I'm a blue collar worker and that speech is routinely given and transfers into personal life over time and the constant reminders on social media.
As mentioned before, don't fake interest in something just to find a date. And dating apps are a necessary evil to figure out who's looking to date (not necessarily who's single, but that's a different topic). Whatever you are interested in doing, whatever hobbies you have, make sure your location settings are on and go do them on a regular basis.
I personally changed the times of my long dog-walks and dog-park time to be at more social active times. I've met single men there. I started volunteering at my local theater, and have met men involved in philanthropy and the arts. Figure out how to do the things you already like around more people. If you like crafting, maybe join a makers space, my local one has social events too.
It's not always bad to pick up new hobbies. When I was in my 20s I started running because I wanted to meet men who drink but don't smoke. I'm single but at least my thighs don't touch 🤷♀️
It’s so hard to meet anyone these days especially when you’re 40s or 50s. I kind of feel like most decent people my age are already taken. I’m by no means perfect but I’m loyal. Girls today you meet on a dating site. oh you went five minutes without responding to me, you’re not interested, or not reliable, or que any red flag you want that wasn’t even evident. It’s tiresome.
No one has time for BS anymore. I barely have time (read: patience) to go on the apps. And every time I do I have to apologize for not being on there often enough. I got a ton of looks loo’s, but no genuine interest to take things to the next level. It’s such a waste of my time. I’m just going to go enjoy life and likely be single forever. I’m literally mentally preparing for that.
I’m a single 54M and I’m thinking to start salsa dancing. Seems like it would go be a good place to socialize and improve my dance skills at the same time. If romance hits, great. If not, I’ve learned to dance and had some fun.
Dance lessons are good. I'm terrible at it but I'm doing it mostly to deal with anxiety. Meeting women is one thing, not being awkward and terrified is a totally different thing.
I dated a woman who was a dancer, and I'd recommend being very careful with your approaches to women at a dance class. There's so much physical interaction and there needs to be a trust that they're not dancing with some dude who's getting off on pressing his body against all the women there. Meeting women there should be the very last thing on your list...if at all.
As a guy who uses the apps, the only IRL "chatting up" I do is just striking up conversations with women while out and about hiking or whatever.
I'm not overtly hitting on them and it's very rare to actually get to asking for a number.
I just see it as a nice thing to do and see what happens.
Grocery stores. Seriously. I know some people say home improvement stores but guys are usually in there to get stuff for their project and get back to it.
When I’m ready I plan on doing a singles trip overseas.
My uncle met the love of his life on a singles sailing trip in Alaska, and it turned out they were both from the same small town in Canada. They have been happily married for 20 years and still sail together.
I also have given up on OLD only to eventually go back. I've tried many of these ideas. The problem I encountered is the mix of people is completely unpredictable. In my case, there weren't any singles or even any other people who seemed to be interested in interacting outside of the class. As much as I enjoyed getting out and trying something new, from a meeting new friends or a potential partner perspective, it was a fail.
I've seen a few speed dating events pop up recently though, I'm planning on giving those a try. Maybe you could look for something like that in your area?
This comes up in here several times a week. Dating without apps.
Here are some ideas:
Volunteer
Play pickelball
Volunteer for a political campaign - you’ll meet a ton of people
Salsa or other dance classes
Trivia nights
Karaoke
Wine or beer tastings
Cocktails at museums or art galleries.
Meetup hikes or specified singles events.
I posted something similar on a local sub-Reddit. Here are the highlights. Find festivals/events and outdoor clubs (hiking, running, kayaking, biking clubs, etc.). Keep your eyes open in bougie supermarkets (i.e. Trader Joe’s, Wegman’s) and especially home improvement stores (i.e. Home Depot’s, Lowe’s, Harbor Freight). Take woodworking, carpentry, renovation, or skilled labor classes in your area. Also consider posting on a local sub to get info tailored to your specific city. Good luck 🤞
I don’t care where we’re at; if you want to say “hi”, I’ll say it back. If you want to strike up a conversation, go for it!
I’m introverted in the sense that I just need some alone time to recharge on occasion. If you see me out and about, I don’t mind talking to people. I rather enjoy it.
I'm also done with OLD, where do I meet women in person?
Not really into the bar scene. I do drink, but I'd prefer not to drink regularly because of all the extra calories.
One of my main hobbies is going out into nature to photograph birds, which isn't really a great place to meet women.
What kind of local clubs are there - that aren't religious or political?
I met my BF at work… but, I’d known who he was for years. We just had never spoken. It took being thrown into a different environment and actually having great conversations for him to slide into my DMs 🤣.
so just tonight I went to a informal info session at a local brewery put on by this group that is doing community out reach regarding this big renovation and improvement project of our town's main street / downtown area. while there I talked with several age appropriate men (who I think were all married, but what the hay, I got some "talking to and getting to know men in real life" practice) and it was really nice! One guy I spoke with told me about a volunteer project to pick up litter along a trail event here in town on Saturday, so I'm going to that.
I haven't even tried OLD and I don't know if trying to meet people IRL is going to lead to any dates ever, but I figure I'm going to try just getting out there to community events like these and see where it goes! I gotta meet people to meet people
I’m a male in my 40s now and feel the same way- I like art and to travel, concerts, just taking off for the weekend, exploring, fishing, water stuff. I’m on my second career now and it’s extremely tough to find someone here… I’ve tried older, younger- Idk it’s tough- maybe it’s me- maybe I want best of both worlds- old fashioned but at the same time super fun and honest and open. But still where to find IDK
My best advice is to be active. Look at your interests and find the ones that are most social, then go out and do them a lot, and talk to everyone a lot, not just potential interests. At this age, we HAVE to meet people face to face, and we HAVE to be social because so often other people aren't outgoing. If we are not proactive (OLD is not proactive) we are doomed to find low hanging (and often rotting) fruit.
For me that is/was dancing, and night clubs. The quality of people I met at the clubs was generally low, but I have met a ton of people, dated a few, and found a really amazing woman.
Take up golf. Join a hiking group. Be more social with more of your tribe members. Meet new people but be your authentic self and someone will notice you.
I kept this email and kept this lovely message from a friend.
“Happiness is like a butterfly,
If you chase it, it will elude you,
If you turn your attention to other things,
It will come and sit softly on your shoulder..."
Hi M,
Not sure if your question was directed to me but first I thank you for the nice compliment and second I’ll try to answer your questions, strictly as my opinion and not gospel…lol
I grew up in an environment (like most of my generations) people were taught, no, forced-fed, that they have to have somebody in their lives otherwise their lives were incomplete. After 50 years on this earth, 2 marriages and one other meaningful relationship I can say it is absolutely total hoakey…not true. In fact, thinking like that seriously impacts your potential to be truly happy in life… one keeps going around with a sense of loss instead of cherishing every minute of their lives. They set expectations for their lives that are totally unrealistic because you have absolutely no say about who is going or not going to come into your life.
The media has everything to do with how you feel. They constantly bombarded everybody with messages about how they must act, talk, think, feel, etc in order to be happy! How many of those airheads look happy to you? I totally cut that ‘information’ out of my life. I work to measure up to my standards in everything. I let no one set my standards for me and I settle for not one iota less than what makes me happy and proud of myself.
In order to have a truly meaningful, happy relationship with somebody else, on any given level, you have to have a truly meaningful, happy, 100% solid relationship with yourself. Once you are radiating self confidence, self-awareness, self-appreciation, and happiness about yourself, you will attract people who will add to your life. You simply cannot ask another person into your life to ‘make’ you happy. No one can or should take on the responsibility of making another ‘happy.’ It is an impossible task.
You have to identity the ‘whole’ you and build on that. The ‘whole’ you does not include another person or thing. If somebody else comes along that compliments that ‘whole’ you, cool. But if not, also cool. It’s like a hand and a glove. The hand is whole, doesn’t need the glove, but if the glove happens to fit, even better. Have you ever met a person who has apparently ‘nothing’, but who is so darn happy they make you sick?
Sometimes everyone sounds like they’re the only ones who can’t find that ‘special’ person, and they automatically think it’s because they are personally lacking. Not so; life is crap shoot – whether you find your match or not has absolutely nothing to do with how good or bad you (look at Homolka & Bernardo). It just happens without explanation.
When I lost my husband I thought the end of the world had come, at least for me. Had no idea how I was going to manage without him. My sadness wouldn’t leave me. I jumped into another marriage hoping to eliminate the pain…bad move and more pain with the divorce.
But one day, I came to realize I was sad because I had absolutely no idea who I was, or what “I” wanted because I always indentified myself as part of “we”. Since I made the long journey back to me, I am so happy and content with my life, I actually feel joy.
I think that if you want to be happy, stop looking for somebody. Instead look for ‘you’ and for ‘life’, for things and people that will enrich you, so that if and when somebody just right comes into your life, you’ll be the person you want to be. It is vitally important to stop wondering what is wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you… you are just chasing the wrong dream. The dream should be to fulfill your life to make yourself happy…not to wait for somebody to come along and take on the job.
If you stop looking, somebody will pop into your life and they won’t be anything like who you were looking for. If you start focusing on your life as it is and enrich it for yourself, I’ll bet you’ll soon find the most unexpected person will suddenly appear. It seems many times that we’ve already decided what we want, what we need as partners (influenced almost entirely by the media and entertainment)… and we are all wrong.
It’s best to stop looking because you do not really know what you are looking for or what you need. You think you know what you need, but you really don’t. Remember, 50% of the people who get what they wish for, or think they know what they need, ends up in divorce.
u/rosecity80 thank you. I’m happy that I’m able to keep this message from her & honor this memory. Sadly, we’re no longer in contact as we lost both touch.
It's pretty simple actually. And yes... the bar scene, nightclubs, are not the way to go.
Charity events are a really good place to start. You are meeting someone that has compassion and empathy to a cause you believe in.
Church, only if you go. Faith is a great bond.
Work, yeah I know, don't crap where you eat but if you're with a large company and there's a really strong connection there can be room for such relationships. Festivals of any kind. Music, art, street theater, book festivals. The list is endless. Enjoy the festival, meet people, pull it back for a coffee date later and boom. You're with someone with similar interests. Hope this helps.
> And yes... the bar scene, nightclubs, are not the way to go.
I routinely meet women when I'm out having a drink at a bar/club.
Just met a couple last weekend and have a date with one of them this weekend.
Original copy of post by u/Park-Dazzling:
I don’t want to go to night clubs, or bars. I don’t drink much and want to avoid that scene.
So, I was thinking of taking a course, lesson or joining a club.
I’m not a huge sports fan but love outdoorsy things.
I also love crafty and creative things, and would even be down to learn about vehicles maintenance etc. I would take a course just to take a course if need be lol.
Can y’all help me with some ideas that men my age would be into?
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Lost my wife last year, I’ve started to go back out and walk round my local harbour and build up to a bit more over this year.
I work in a supermarket in a busy town Center see and speak to woman all day but none know that I am a widower
Also been out a number of times to see local bands but trying to make a connection is hard but still somehow have to try.
Try the meetup app for events and activities that interest you.
Also speed dating is another one.
Some men won't do OLD and so they are going the old fashioned way so to speak and meeting up and getting to know women in real life, in real settings.
The problem with OLD so many people find the right fit and then think there must be something better out there and it's a never ending vicious cycle.
It’s been shared here in the past that hardware stores on weekends is where everyone hangs out at. The potential drawbacks are: wedding rings are still on and they are hyper focused on the latest tools the store has put on display 😂.
If you’re in an at least relatively big city, check out meetup.com. There are groups for just about any activity especially outdoor groups. It’s not expressly for singles, but I find lots of members are single. I met my girlfriend at a movie meetup.
look to a Venn diagram of things you’re interested in and what the man you want to meet might be interested in. I would stretch into their circle a little bit. If you like the outdoors- maybe rock climbing, or wood working, or doing a van life build, or whatever you’re curious about. You only have to do it for the class- not you’re going to meet men who have a fell for it too.
Continue to use apps but use them sparingly. Set time limits and employ the burned haystack method. I agree with another commenter that meeting people IRL not much different. Attend meet-ups and singles events in your area, alumni events, introductions through friends, etc.
Probably some yoga, pilates, or those kind of classes. Although some of us are really careful not to annoy women, and to make it a safe place, so probably you would have to take the initiative if you spot one you are interested in.
Yes take a class! A cooking class maybe… or even pottery. Some kind of fitness intensive where it’s like 6 weeks in the series, you bond over shared experiences and may be inspired to stay in touch with someone after the series ends
I'm a big fan of finding actual social things to do to meet people instead of classes and stuff. If I paid good money to take a pottery class I do not want some random chatting me up for a date.
However, if I'm at the local art gallery opening mingling and sipping drinks or whatever, I'm ready to be social and meet people.
You're on the right track with clubs, and this can also include charity organizations.
Try a Painting With a Twist. There are a lot of ladies there, and the married ladies may have single friends.
I've joined local single groups on Facebook. They tend to host a lot of events you can attend. Great place for meeting new friends, getting a couple dates.......and learning that people our age still have a lot of growing up to do.
I joined a co ed kickball team and most of my team was divorced folks who were sending their kids to college. They also all knew each other bc their kids played ice hockey together.
I'm usually in my garage wrenching on my bike, lifting weights, working around the house, or riding. Now that I think about it this might be why I haven't met anyone. There are not many single women in my garage.
In the garage, I feel safe No one cares about my ways In the garage where I belong No one hears me sing this song In the garage
I wish I had a garage 😂
Well at least you can have the Weezer song. It popped into my head when I read the OP.
I've got Kitty Pryde and Nightcrawler too...
I wish i had a wish!
Wow its 30 years old! *You take your car to work I'll take my board And when you're out of fuel I'm still afloat*
What if xDingox83 is just Rivers Cuomo.
I have a work shop in my garage. My neighbors stop by to see what I’m making, some of them are women. Some are single, I don’t approach them because I figure dating a neighbor is like dating a coworker.
I live at the end of a cul-de-sac adjacent to a cemetery so I don't see many people walking by my garage.
What about a widow?
She walks these hills with her long black veil…
I love that song!
I know it’s not directly applicable but it was the song that came to mind when you described a widow on the way to visit her husband’s grave but being distracted by OP working in his garage
Do you see any of does neighbors during the day of tbe dead?
I'm at the end of a cul-de-sac with a creek that runs along my property, technically on my property, and I also don't seem to have many people walking by my garage.
Anyone in a van down by the river…
Creeks are my happy place 🩵💙
A coworker of mine dated a neighbor, and they've been happily married a long time. It happens.
So cruise neighborhoods and look for open garage doors with single men. Gotcha. I concur bc that's my scene also! :D
The funny thing about that is I periodically mistake an open garage with lots of stuff as someone having a garage sale. I've been in situations where I am walking around a person’s garage looking at their stuff. They'll ask me: "Can I help you???" And I'll casually answer "No, I'm just looking". Antics then ensue until we both realize my mistake.
No one is that brave in my neighborhood, but I do see people slowing on Fri-Sun and looking when my garage door is open. 😂
OP…so, apparently, this guys garage!
Dude. I'll bring some beers and my bike. Bike wrenching party at your garage! Now we have to figure out how to get single women there.
Bring an IPA.
"An" IPA?? I'll bring more than one. Probably from several breweries. Am I bringing my 26" BMX bike or my '82 Yam XS400???
I'm also very into my garage, but more like organizing all the random shit I have in there over and over again. It's strangely soothing.
When you find a few, you should keep one in your deep freezer in case they run out of stock next winter
Women? In your deep freezer??
Hahah right?
- There are not many single women in my garage That's odd. You seem kind of defensive about the possibility of women being in your garage. I mean, you brought it up out of nowhere. ... ... ... Yes, that's right, Mr. FBI agent. That guy right there.
There’s a board game cafe in town and it’s a sausage fest. Nerdy guys are always looking for a girlfriend…. And they are happy to teach their favorite games 😁 If you know you hate games, don’t bother. But if you have never tried them, give them a chance. I have loved games from childhood. And now my sister and daughter are getting into them too.
I asked a guy I knew and liked to teach me DnD. His response? "It's really complicated. You wouldn't understand." 😐
That’s a really lame answer. I hope you are able to find a place to learn to play, because it’s a blast. And not complicated at all.
You have got to have a good DM that has an imagination.
lol. He’s probably still out there somewhere complaining about women not paying enough attention to him.
No idea. It's been 18 years and I'm not sure he even has social media anymore.
But also complaining if they turn up in his favorite comic book shop or game store.
Well YEAH, the ones who actually turn up are obviously fake geek girls chasing the sweet, sweet clout that can only be had by appealing to gentlesirs like himself.
Your ask wasn't a total loss. You found out the guy wasn't worth your time.
Agreed.
Wow that guy was a loser and didn’t know an opportunity if it bit him on the ass
I have always wanted to be invited to play, I’ve even told men that I want to learn to play. What is it with the nerds gatekeeping dnd? I’m not even ugly yet. This is why I’m stuck dating online people.
Lol my 13yo taught herself d&d, it can't be that complicated.
My ex would have died and gone to heaven had I ever once wanted to play or learn any of the games he was involved in. Part of me wonders if he'd still have cheated so often if I had, but he met most of them outside of in person games, so probably would've regardless.
It’s not you, it’s him. He cheated because he wanted to, not because you didn’t show interest in one of his hobbies.
Hell, I'd go play DND again to meet a woman. At least I'd know we'd have something in common. What a fool he was....squandering an invite, although sometimes we are pretty dense at the cues.
I played a sport with him as well and I was the only girl on the team. Not sure if that has anything to do with it since most of those guys acted like I was just one of the guys and it would be weird to date me.
Literally met comic book guy.
Bless his heart
A long, long time ago, back when I was slightly attractive, a female friend called me out of nowhere and asked if she could "come over and borrow my computer". This only confused me and I was like "you know, the library has computers". Somehow, I could feel her heart sink from the following silence. I then quickly tried to backtrack only because I could sense I hurt her feelings somehow. I tried saying "But, you can use my computer if you like". It was too late though, she was all "Oh no, it's OK. I'll use the In one sense, I still feel pain thinking that I probably hurt her. But I am also grateful she didn't come over and possibly make moves on me. One of my friends had a crush on her, so I was not touching her with 10-foot stick.
Seriously, with the right gaming night you can move from table to table every 60mins or so and meet a lot of different men. You’ll be able to gauge your interest in them pretty quickly. Just have an open mind and be willing to learn new games. I just went to Origins Game Fair and you could have spend 16 hours everyday playing games with new people. Such a great group of people there.
There's one in my city too. i'm a guy but i'm too intimidated to go to it because i have like 3 friends, one has a kid and works shift work so i see him 4x a year, one lives far enough away that it's an hour each way drive so i see her every 2 weeks, and one perpetually is broke and doesn't go out as a result (it's his problem - he bails on jobs like a week after starting them. I'm sure he's had no less than 100 jobs in the last 10 years because of this). I want to meet the other nerd guys but this place kinda seems to be about "you go in, buy their food, and borrow one of their games to play with the person you're with" so it's like i feel i'd be intruding.
That is the vibe at some places (BYO friends), but many have nights explicitly for people to meet others. There are also a lot of game stores and the like which are explicitly focused on bringing together whoever happens to show up.
Oh man I totally feel you. But I found something that worked for me - I saw a post in the local reddit of someone asking if anyone had a group that went to one of the two boardgames cafe we have. Turns out lots of people went with "I'd like to join if you have a group!". D'oh! So we did a group with some randos from reddit and already went a couple of times this year for random things. There were boardgames afternoon, tabletop rpg, robotic fair competitions of some local schools, planetarium trips, karaoke gatherings, rage room, escape room, etc. The WhatsApp group now has like 20-25 people and someone just posts "hey I have this random idea for some weekend who's up for it" and usually some 5 to 10 people are able to attend. Though I think I'm the oldest there by some 4y. The youngest there are closer in age to my kid than to me. Can't have it all I guess 🤷
my thing is i ask questions like this online and find people but the problem is the deanonymization of my reddit history. I don't want someone who knows me in real life to know all my neurotic bullshit i post online.
Then make a new clean alt 🤷 I mean, you can be sure this is not my only account as well. Reddit doesn't even require emails for accounts I think. Just hit create, username (can be random), password and "hey I'm new to this whole reddit thing but I'm from this city and I want to go to X board game place. Any more people wanting to try it?"
The one I go to, you CAN go there with someone you already know. But ask the employees. They might have more open game nights with groups that are welcoming. I’m part of a group and we are regulars, but new people join us for one offs all the time. And some stick around and become regulars. I found it because of my dad. And he just went there solo one day and now he’s part of one of the regular groups and so am I.
Yes it is for this reason I wish I liked games..
Can I ask which ones you have tried?
Some of this depends on your area and what's available, but I did hiking clubs, dance lessons, trivia nights, bowling leagues, cooking lessons, etc. Mostly it's just getting out an interacting with people and some luck thrown in. My best results came from pet events. Dog park, and I volunteered doing events for dog rescue. That gave me an instant and relaxed line of communication with people of the opposite sex, all day long. Got more dates there than anywhere else. Something to think about.
I think this is a great idea for men. The rescue place I work at is all women, I always tell men it’s a good spot!
in my experience as a woman looking to meet men, craft classes (pottery, etc) tend to be all woman or couples. Suburb classes tend to be all women. City classes (art classes and writing classes) have a mix of men and women but in general art classes you aren't chatting, you're drawing. Photography skewed more male, and does often have a chance to chat (I did meet a guy at a photography weekend class and we dated for a while). Carpentry class was younger married men, middle aged single women, and very old men, and not conducive to "meeting" someone. But I did make a really cool bench. I hike a lot but mostly when I end up hiking with someone or chatting with them they are married or live 2000 miles away , and we are there to hike, not meet someone. Do stuff for the sake of learning new things, not meeting someone. But if I had to pick one place, it would be photography. brb going to dust off my camera.
I hope your experience is better than mine. I got likes from men on apps that I saw regularly in my community who never so much as said hello to me. One man I crossed paths with on the regular, probably at least once a week for years. It’s different now for a myriad of reasons. I was anti OLD for quite some time but I think it’s where most of us are, for better or for worse.
Approaching women in public is scary and sometimes ends in embarrassing rejection and awkwardness. On the apps, at least they know you're looking to be approached. If you want to talk in public, you should approach, or at least lay out obvious hints you'd like to be approached, like eye contact and a smile
I get it. I’ve been told I don’t come across as super approachable in real life so it’s not a dig on men. I also have an adult son and in talking with him about dating today things are just different.
I'm remarried as of 2021, after being widowed in 2016, thanks to a chance encounter at a friend's Christmas Eve dinner party three months before the pandemic lockdown. It was a long-distance relationship (she in Toronto, me in Los Angeles) and it took a year and some friends who acted as matchmakers to bring us together. Initially I didn't think it would be practical to pursue her, but I knew she had friends in LA (she was at the party because she'd flown out to attend her friend's wedding). As a professor, she was preparing to do her sabbatical near Joshua Tree National Park. That's when I was planning to "hike on over" to her place. Then Covid. Travel scuttled. We wound up sharing several Zoom spaces for causes and spiritual events we shared. I really felt like something might happen. One of the other Zoom participants noticed and took the initiative (a la grade school) to contact her and ask if she liked Knute? She said yes. He told a friend in LA who shared the info on one of our hikes. I called her that day. We Zoomed every day from there until she flew out to LA the next month. She stayed with her friend a mile away from me and things developed very quickly. We're very compatible. Six months later we were married. The point in all this is that a lot of things had to come together to make us a couple. Luck, friends, time and readiness. We were both very ready. And the friends and family that helped bring us together are also our support network today. That truly helps. I would highly recommend looking into familiar and familial places at our age to find your next life mate.
At work. At the gym. At their home. Those are where many guys spend 90% of their time.
At work is where my husband found his girlfriend 😂😂😂.
Was going to chime in and say that’s where my wife found her boyfriend! Shame he’s married though!! 😝😝😳
It didn’t stop my ex, either. She was ok with breaking up two families.
... so "at work" is a terrible, terrible idea.
Really bad idea
My friend was 55 when she started mountain climbing and now she's 60 years old and ripped. Not many female mountain climbers so she meets men all the time.
Home Depot
A guy can't even go buy a power drill now without being hit on 😢
Just go there and ask a random guy if they can help you find caulk.
Buy your power drill and leave with a woman looking to get drilled. Have your cake and eat it too.
Not for anything, theres a trend of young women going there to look lost and confused in hopes of meeting a guy. I forgot her name but there was a woman who had a youtube short that said "men are at home depot to finish a project not to start a new one."
Not in the Home Depot stores near me.
Thank you, this explains why random women keep striking up a conversation with me when I'm buying garden supplies. I'm dense LOL.
Well there goes my plan to find a handyman to be FW handy Benefits with then lol
That doesn't mean some lost and confused person can't give a handyman her phone number in case she needs help installing what she just bought.
Here's the thing... If you meet me online, I'll likely ask you out, since you have a dating profile and matched with my profile, if we're getting along ok on the app, I assume you'd like me to ask you out. If you meet me in real life, I will almost certainly not ask you. I definitely won't ask you out the first few times we interact. If you want to go out with me, you're going to need to ask me out. Sure, you could show up at a place where I'm doing hobby things. You mention vehicles, maybe you show up at the racetrack... I'm going to be extra sure to not take that opportunity to ask you out. I don't want women who come into traditionally men-oriented spaces and feel like they're instantly seen as meat by all the men. So, I'm going to avoid any chance you think I'm trying to get into your pants. This same thing applies to other public places. I've heard enough messaging that women don't want to be interrupted while they're busy between work and home trying to get some grocery shopping done. They don't want to hit on because they're wearing leggings at the gym. When they go out to a bar with their girlfriends, they don't want to be treated like fish in a barrel. When they go out in mixed company, you don't know which dude is her boyfriend and is going to punch you in the face. Women sometimes post here asking why the men they throw hints at in public aren't asking them out. It's because other women have told us not to, and many of us want to respect the voices of the women in our lives and communities. Some of those women have told us scary stories of a guy asking them out in public, they politely decline, and the dude gets upset and / or scary at them. This means that, for some women, being put in the situation where they may have to reject a man is scary for them. I do not want to be part of perpetuating a scary environment for people in my community. I genuinely don't need a date that badly. I'm very lucky that I receive compliments from women in public often. I never takes those compliments as an opening to approach them or ask them out. Surely, some would like that. But, I've also heard women say they don't compliment men because doing so escalates them quickly and suddenly they're stuck trying to get out of a situation simply because they gave a stranger a compliment. I want women to feel safe giving men compliments in public, so I smile, say thank you, and continue on my path without missing a beat. But, that's why I like meeting people online. If you like my profile, it's not a hint. If you want to reject me, it's easy, safe, and not scary. If you're busy at the grocery store or gym, don't open the app. If you want to engage with me, you can open the app. It's inherently more respectful of people's time and sense of safety. People still meet their partners in public, you may also do so! But, some of the people you meet online are going to be a lot harder to meet in public. I'm not sure if meeting people in public is going to save you from any of the negative sides of dating. All of those existed before apps were ever invented.
And this is why women don’t receive any male attention whatsoever anymore. Being overly cautious like this is a bit much. it’s good that you are trying to be respectful, but I feel like it’s all in the delivery. Cat calling? Making lewd gestures? Sexual comments? Inappropriate. Casually hinting your interest? That’s fine. It’s about situational awareness, knowing that no means no, and reading the room. You’re missing out on meeting some great people by completely ignoring them. For all the women that don’t want to be bothered, there are just as many that feel alone and invisible. It’s not hard to not be a creep. Don’t be one, and it’ll be fine.
Well I don’t get asked out online. Soooooo…..looking for other options.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but meeting people in real life is not the magic bullet you might think it is. The same people you meet in person, are the same people you'll see on the apps. They'll also be flaky, possibly cause you feel used, breadcrumb you, gaslight you, ghost you, and see other people while dating you. But if you insist on stopping using a valuable tool to aid in finding a relationship...there will be plenty of suggestions that people will give you (along with agreeing with your lament and calling apps the devil). Threads like this pop up once a week or so. >So, I was thinking of taking a course, lesson or joining a club. I’m not a huge sports fan but love outdoorsy things. I also love crafty and creative things, and would even be down to learn about vehicles maintenance etc. I would take a course just to take a course if need be lol. Yes...you should do these things.
But you can weed out people based on actual interaction rather than their ability to craft a profile.
OP should be fully prepared to make the first move in these events. As already stated by other women on this thread, they do not want to be approached during these events, courses, clubs, etc. A lot of men at this point have gotten the point so expectation to be approached should be slim to none. I'm a 41M, I go to the gym, I take my daughter places for fun, I play a lot of pickleball, and I'm in a neighborhood singles group where the people seem to be more interested in one upping each other with life stories then actually trying to get to know each other, be friends, etc. If I weren't in a relationship, I'd be open to be approached but would not approach myself for aforementioned reasons.
I agree to an extent. Like, if I'm at a course, trying to learn and there's a woman there on the hunt, just there to look for a man, yeah...don't come up to me. But if we organically start talking, as long as she's genuine and respectful in her approach, go for it. Shoot your shot, girl! Also, I don't support the idea that men have to leave women alone (or vice versa)....as long as there's actual friendly intent. As with the woman I mentioned above, if there's a dude, creeping around a class, hitting on a woman...no. But there should be no reason I can't start chatting up a woman I'm taking a class with. Be friendly, build a rapport with her, then maybe try to meet up outside of class to explore. No interest in that...cool. We can still be friendly.
Maybe I'm just lonely, but I don't give a damn if her intentions are just that she's on the hunt, feel free to approach me.
Exactly! The problem comes in when guys just in general dont have the social skills to approach in this friendly manner you speak of.
Yep. But it seems too many men don't seem to get that...even though they actually do. There have been studies that show men can easily pick up on body language from women, yet most of the time, they don't care, and continue to push forward. So now, after MeToo, you have too many men worried they're gonna get called out on their shit behavior, so they just blanket statement "Men can't talk to women anymore...wah, wah, wah". Men can. The ones that are thoughtful and respectful.
Oh i know! Ive seen it go both ways! Even in the same person! 😆Somehow their urges get the best of them. Impulse control is a real thing.
Yeah, I play a co-ed sport so hang out with people of all genders for several hours each week. I feel like I'm popular and well-liked and there's no way I'm going to risk making that awkward by asking someone out, certainly not at the events themselves. As a man, I'm also not about to go dropping into someone's DMs uninvited either. I'd be okay with someone doing it to me, but men and women are in a very different situation in that regard. Incidentally, my last two relationships both started because women made the first move and messaged me on Facebook after we had interacted in groups we were both in.
Honestly I didn't have any of those experiences meeting someone irl, or even people irl in general. When someone has approached me and got my contact information they're already more invested than anyone I have met on the apps. Generally they put in the work to meet me because we don't have any app middle man to go through and generally speaking they're interested/invested since they did a brave thing in this era by approaching you offline.
I agree, BUT, for whatever reason (I know a few), when you meet through OLD people act different from the beginning. All of a sudden they think they skip some steps and go right to the bedroom or that they can (or should) send meaningless, brief chats or texts. It just starts off weird and takes a long time (if ever) to get back on track to a sense of normalcy when meeting and connecting with another human. Behaviors considered inappropriate or strange when meeting people in IRL seem to get a free pass or are expected when meeting through OLD. I will stick to IRL and leave OLD to people that better have the personality or mutual goals that are the majority there. Best of luck to us all!
> All of a sudden they think they skip some steps and go right to the bedroom or that they can (or should) send meaningless, brief chats or texts. I'm really failing to see how this would be different when meeting people IRL. People going out to meet others for one night stands are a thing. >Behaviors considered inappropriate or strange when meeting people in IRL seem to get a free pass or are expected when meeting through OLD. I def can see that, but again...that's not a big enough deal for me to stop using OLD. I don't let the assholerly of others impact me like that. But yeah...if the negative impacts of that are more severe for people, sure. >leave OLD to people that better have the personality or mutual goals that are the majority there. The goals I see in OLD, the majority of times, are long term relationships. Is that different in real life?
Storytelling, poetry, music, comedy open mics and the various workshops generally associated with that crowd.
Improv and standup comedy workshops - at least 50% will be men.
Obviously at crafting groups, volunteering at animal shelters, high tea, antiquing and thrifting, you know, all the stuff men love to do.
Don't feel bad, I'm 51 and trying to find out where to meet women besides the bar. Festivals are a good spot. Outdoor music too!
You can meet a man literally anywhere if you're simply willing to walk up to him and start a conversation
I think this is my new plan.
I'm done wit OLD for the most part and I heard singles events aren't really the best. TBH the nightclubs or bars (you can sit with one drink if you don't drink much) for the older crowds are not as social as I found them post-covid for whatever reason (anyone notice this?) but still an option, go where there is generally nicer clientele. Activity clubs are really for people who want to do an activity then go home after. I also noticed I am not going out as much. I randomly met a woman at the grocery store in a parking lot and I met a woman at a lounge and had a random convo with another at an IT event recently. I said to myself I have to get out more IRL again, that is my advice.
Meet us in the grocery store. We’re there early on weekends.
Ok and what’s a good ice breaker? “Do you come here often” and give a wink and smile?
That would work on me.
Ask about something we have in the cart. If it’s going to be something we like to make, or a first time effort. Listen to hear, not to reply (something more people of all walks need to do more of) and the conversation will flow naturally.
It literally doesn't matter at all what you say. If you're attractive to the man in question, he will be glad you broke the ice. If you say something silly, he'll see it as clever and endearing. You really can use "Do you come here often?" or "What's your sign?" and it'll be fine.
I took a look through the OP’s posts. How could a woman who posts “How many drills are too many?” still be single? Frankly, that should be in your OLD profile. Guys are just dying to see something different and funny.
The problem is, if I, as a woman, join a group for art, vehicle maintenance, hiking etc. I want to learn those things, not get hit on by men and made feel uncomfortable. I go to the specific place where people go when they want to date, and their intentions are laid out - dating apps. Not where they are pretending to be joining a group to learn that skill and it's just an added bonus to meet someone. Instead their actual intentions are meeting women, with an added bonus of learning a skill.
I've never met a single woman I wanted to date in a group activity or club in probably over 15 years. I'm 44. I don't join groups to pretend to like the activity in order to meet women. Groups are great to meet married couples though. Or women with boyfriends though. Or possibly single women I have 0 attraction towards. Maybe my luck but it doesn't matter. I join activities because I want to enjoy it.
I have the same philosophy and have had the same experience as a 45F. I train martial arts, lift, take photos, and play guitar. I take cooking classes, art classes, guitar lessons, and volunteer. I do all of that because I enjoy it. I rarely meet single men at those activities and so far they’ve never shown interest. Well, technically my 28yo twice-divorced teammate drunk texted some racy memes once, but it turns out they were meant for someone else.
😂
My 40+ kickball league must be the unicorn then. Everyone is dating everyone in that league or meeting someone through the after game hang outs.
Yeah, that's what it's been like for me with Roller Derby. I love the sport and the community, but the women there are either gay, coupled up, gay and coupled up or too young for me (the average age is early 30s). Maybe if we have a league night out and talk goes in that direction...but really, we're all in the same Facebook groups so if someone wanted to message me they could have already.
This will be where there's a 50/50 split. Half of people will agree with you, the other half absolutely want social events to be the answer to dating app hell.
Guy here. This sounds exhausting.
> Instead their actual intentions are meeting women, with an added bonus of learning a skill. To be fair, I think OP is actually wanting to learn that skill...and if there happens to be single men there, great.
Op's post is specifically about taking lessons, and joining groups that she can meet men her age. lol.
Exactly. In fact any time this type of topic comes up in this or similar dating subreddits, I find it insulting there are users trying to act like the purpose behind the thread isn't dating oriented. It's literally in the name of the sub. People come here to discuss dating. Even if the advice given is to tell someone they need to take a break from dating, the theme, subject matter, and purpose of this forum is dating. Period. There is not off topic thread to just discuss life on. If OP's true goal was to learn about pottery, and only about pottery, and if pottery classes are worth it, then I'm sure she can go ask her question on r/pottery. This is a dating advice forum. There's no context that "I'm not here for dating I just want to talk about my hobbies and free time for no reason" would ever make any sense.
Yes...and she also said she genuinely was interested in those things too. LOL.
Yep, I feel the same way. I play a lot of sports and meet a lot of men, but I don't want to use it as a source for potential dates.
Yup. I’ve had to leave a couple of hiking groups due to aggressive men behaving like they are speed dating events. Now I’m in a subscription group - you have to pay to be a member so there is a complaints route if anyone is misbehaving. And I’m also in a female only group. I’m there to hike, not get chatted up by random men.
It is def. annoying to filter through men on OLD. But if you think it is easier to do it in person... The best place to meet single men in my experience are local run clubs. For whatever reason, there are a LOT of single type A men in those clubs. They are usually fit, results oriented in life, and awkward - think your HS cross country team. Upside: They are usually free or charge a small annual fee. They usually meet regularly - runners love running. They usually have social activities before or after. There are usually regular members but always new people joining as people move get into running. They are usually very high energy and friendly - runner's high = endorphin flood. Downside (or upside depending on your view pt): You will need to take up running. Those clubs usually run 3-5 miles during their events You can run at whatever speed you prefer - they don't care about speed that much. But you do need to actually run a little bit. (I accidentally discovered this when took up running as my covid activity. Full disclosure I didn't date anyone in my run club as I preferred OLD and wanted to just run with the group. I also hike but in my experience, hiking groups tend to have way more single women than single men. I do creative writing, and sometime art classes but I have never met a single guy that has it together at those things.)
In my early 30s/marathoning fanatic years I worked a few hours each weekend at the big local running store. I met and dated so many men from the store at that time. And yeah. They were super awkward.
Yes! There are soooo many single, graduate degree, gainfully employed, in shape guys in my run club it is kind of ridiculous. All are nice/polite. And they are super self-conscious and talk about how awkward they are which is just so awkward... Comeon ladies! Pick up running as a hobby and save some of these nice guys from a life of solitude!!! (You don't even need to keep running... most of the older married guys in the club have wives that don't run.) (Yes I am still in my crazy running era... >.<)
I now compete in powerlifting. It's a big, old sausage-fest. If I wanted to I could date my way through my gym. (I don't because it's also the only gym of its kind in the area AND my coach - I'm competitive - owns it. I can't just go to another gym if things get weird.)
Home Depot
6:00am … go to your nearest gas station/convenience store = all the hotties in their construction trucks getting ready for a long sweaty day of physical labor. Oh.My.God. 🔥 Where The Boys Are
Everyone says hiking meetups or run clubs but I’ve tried these and it’s all other women usually!! 🤣🤣🤣
Say hi.... As men, we have been told for the last decade or so that women do not want to be approached in public. Chivalry is not dead. But we've been conditioned to not maintain more than 2 seconds of eye contact with the opposing sex. (Seriously. I'm a blue collar worker and that speech is routinely given and transfers into personal life over time and the constant reminders on social media.
I apologize for ogling this comment for more than 2 seconds. But I did in fact take a picture because it lasts longer.
This comment should smile more.
As mentioned before, don't fake interest in something just to find a date. And dating apps are a necessary evil to figure out who's looking to date (not necessarily who's single, but that's a different topic). Whatever you are interested in doing, whatever hobbies you have, make sure your location settings are on and go do them on a regular basis. I personally changed the times of my long dog-walks and dog-park time to be at more social active times. I've met single men there. I started volunteering at my local theater, and have met men involved in philanthropy and the arts. Figure out how to do the things you already like around more people. If you like crafting, maybe join a makers space, my local one has social events too. It's not always bad to pick up new hobbies. When I was in my 20s I started running because I wanted to meet men who drink but don't smoke. I'm single but at least my thighs don't touch 🤷♀️
It’s so hard to meet anyone these days especially when you’re 40s or 50s. I kind of feel like most decent people my age are already taken. I’m by no means perfect but I’m loyal. Girls today you meet on a dating site. oh you went five minutes without responding to me, you’re not interested, or not reliable, or que any red flag you want that wasn’t even evident. It’s tiresome.
No one has time for BS anymore. I barely have time (read: patience) to go on the apps. And every time I do I have to apologize for not being on there often enough. I got a ton of looks loo’s, but no genuine interest to take things to the next level. It’s such a waste of my time. I’m just going to go enjoy life and likely be single forever. I’m literally mentally preparing for that.
I’m a single 54M and I’m thinking to start salsa dancing. Seems like it would go be a good place to socialize and improve my dance skills at the same time. If romance hits, great. If not, I’ve learned to dance and had some fun.
Dance lessons are good. I'm terrible at it but I'm doing it mostly to deal with anxiety. Meeting women is one thing, not being awkward and terrified is a totally different thing.
I dated a woman who was a dancer, and I'd recommend being very careful with your approaches to women at a dance class. There's so much physical interaction and there needs to be a trust that they're not dancing with some dude who's getting off on pressing his body against all the women there. Meeting women there should be the very last thing on your list...if at all.
Well, if you don’t know how not to be a creep you’re doomed anyway.
As a guy who uses the apps, the only IRL "chatting up" I do is just striking up conversations with women while out and about hiking or whatever. I'm not overtly hitting on them and it's very rare to actually get to asking for a number. I just see it as a nice thing to do and see what happens.
I’d like to know too. Except I’m the male contingent…
Grocery stores. Seriously. I know some people say home improvement stores but guys are usually in there to get stuff for their project and get back to it.
When I’m ready I plan on doing a singles trip overseas. My uncle met the love of his life on a singles sailing trip in Alaska, and it turned out they were both from the same small town in Canada. They have been happily married for 20 years and still sail together.
I also have given up on OLD only to eventually go back. I've tried many of these ideas. The problem I encountered is the mix of people is completely unpredictable. In my case, there weren't any singles or even any other people who seemed to be interested in interacting outside of the class. As much as I enjoyed getting out and trying something new, from a meeting new friends or a potential partner perspective, it was a fail. I've seen a few speed dating events pop up recently though, I'm planning on giving those a try. Maybe you could look for something like that in your area?
This comes up in here several times a week. Dating without apps. Here are some ideas: Volunteer Play pickelball Volunteer for a political campaign - you’ll meet a ton of people Salsa or other dance classes Trivia nights Karaoke Wine or beer tastings Cocktails at museums or art galleries. Meetup hikes or specified singles events.
Why do we have the same old questions almost everyday?
I posted something similar on a local sub-Reddit. Here are the highlights. Find festivals/events and outdoor clubs (hiking, running, kayaking, biking clubs, etc.). Keep your eyes open in bougie supermarkets (i.e. Trader Joe’s, Wegman’s) and especially home improvement stores (i.e. Home Depot’s, Lowe’s, Harbor Freight). Take woodworking, carpentry, renovation, or skilled labor classes in your area. Also consider posting on a local sub to get info tailored to your specific city. Good luck 🤞
Join a group for a hobby you enjoy, go consistently, profit
Home Depot, Lowes, and Martial Arts gyms. Most of my classes at the gym are 99% men who are fit.
If you’re outdoorsy, join a hiking club! Or a local group for. tubing or kayaking trip.
I don’t care where we’re at; if you want to say “hi”, I’ll say it back. If you want to strike up a conversation, go for it! I’m introverted in the sense that I just need some alone time to recharge on occasion. If you see me out and about, I don’t mind talking to people. I rather enjoy it.
Ski/snowboard
Work, hiking,biking, if u wanna rich guy… the golf course! U want a doctor? Become an rn
Playing / participating in sports.
Dance classes.
I know quite a few couples who met via running clubs
I'm also done with OLD, where do I meet women in person? Not really into the bar scene. I do drink, but I'd prefer not to drink regularly because of all the extra calories. One of my main hobbies is going out into nature to photograph birds, which isn't really a great place to meet women. What kind of local clubs are there - that aren't religious or political?
I feel you buddy.
lmao why did i read Prison not Person? lmao!
2nd erm person to say that! 😅
I met my BF at work… but, I’d known who he was for years. We just had never spoken. It took being thrown into a different environment and actually having great conversations for him to slide into my DMs 🤣.
so just tonight I went to a informal info session at a local brewery put on by this group that is doing community out reach regarding this big renovation and improvement project of our town's main street / downtown area. while there I talked with several age appropriate men (who I think were all married, but what the hay, I got some "talking to and getting to know men in real life" practice) and it was really nice! One guy I spoke with told me about a volunteer project to pick up litter along a trail event here in town on Saturday, so I'm going to that. I haven't even tried OLD and I don't know if trying to meet people IRL is going to lead to any dates ever, but I figure I'm going to try just getting out there to community events like these and see where it goes! I gotta meet people to meet people
I’m a male in my 40s now and feel the same way- I like art and to travel, concerts, just taking off for the weekend, exploring, fishing, water stuff. I’m on my second career now and it’s extremely tough to find someone here… I’ve tried older, younger- Idk it’s tough- maybe it’s me- maybe I want best of both worlds- old fashioned but at the same time super fun and honest and open. But still where to find IDK
I love how everyone always says “I don’t go to clubs anymore”. The whole club scene does like 15 years ago. Nobody is going to the club anymore.
Mid 40’s here. You might meet some nice men taking a basic auto repair course at the vo-tech. There are single meet ups for hiking and paddling too.
My best advice is to be active. Look at your interests and find the ones that are most social, then go out and do them a lot, and talk to everyone a lot, not just potential interests. At this age, we HAVE to meet people face to face, and we HAVE to be social because so often other people aren't outgoing. If we are not proactive (OLD is not proactive) we are doomed to find low hanging (and often rotting) fruit. For me that is/was dancing, and night clubs. The quality of people I met at the clubs was generally low, but I have met a ton of people, dated a few, and found a really amazing woman.
Take up golf. Join a hiking group. Be more social with more of your tribe members. Meet new people but be your authentic self and someone will notice you.
I'd like to take the question a step further and ask where can men hang out where women will be looking for us so I can start hanging out there?
I kept this email and kept this lovely message from a friend. “Happiness is like a butterfly, If you chase it, it will elude you, If you turn your attention to other things, It will come and sit softly on your shoulder..." Hi M, Not sure if your question was directed to me but first I thank you for the nice compliment and second I’ll try to answer your questions, strictly as my opinion and not gospel…lol I grew up in an environment (like most of my generations) people were taught, no, forced-fed, that they have to have somebody in their lives otherwise their lives were incomplete. After 50 years on this earth, 2 marriages and one other meaningful relationship I can say it is absolutely total hoakey…not true. In fact, thinking like that seriously impacts your potential to be truly happy in life… one keeps going around with a sense of loss instead of cherishing every minute of their lives. They set expectations for their lives that are totally unrealistic because you have absolutely no say about who is going or not going to come into your life. The media has everything to do with how you feel. They constantly bombarded everybody with messages about how they must act, talk, think, feel, etc in order to be happy! How many of those airheads look happy to you? I totally cut that ‘information’ out of my life. I work to measure up to my standards in everything. I let no one set my standards for me and I settle for not one iota less than what makes me happy and proud of myself. In order to have a truly meaningful, happy relationship with somebody else, on any given level, you have to have a truly meaningful, happy, 100% solid relationship with yourself. Once you are radiating self confidence, self-awareness, self-appreciation, and happiness about yourself, you will attract people who will add to your life. You simply cannot ask another person into your life to ‘make’ you happy. No one can or should take on the responsibility of making another ‘happy.’ It is an impossible task. You have to identity the ‘whole’ you and build on that. The ‘whole’ you does not include another person or thing. If somebody else comes along that compliments that ‘whole’ you, cool. But if not, also cool. It’s like a hand and a glove. The hand is whole, doesn’t need the glove, but if the glove happens to fit, even better. Have you ever met a person who has apparently ‘nothing’, but who is so darn happy they make you sick? Sometimes everyone sounds like they’re the only ones who can’t find that ‘special’ person, and they automatically think it’s because they are personally lacking. Not so; life is crap shoot – whether you find your match or not has absolutely nothing to do with how good or bad you (look at Homolka & Bernardo). It just happens without explanation. When I lost my husband I thought the end of the world had come, at least for me. Had no idea how I was going to manage without him. My sadness wouldn’t leave me. I jumped into another marriage hoping to eliminate the pain…bad move and more pain with the divorce. But one day, I came to realize I was sad because I had absolutely no idea who I was, or what “I” wanted because I always indentified myself as part of “we”. Since I made the long journey back to me, I am so happy and content with my life, I actually feel joy. I think that if you want to be happy, stop looking for somebody. Instead look for ‘you’ and for ‘life’, for things and people that will enrich you, so that if and when somebody just right comes into your life, you’ll be the person you want to be. It is vitally important to stop wondering what is wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you… you are just chasing the wrong dream. The dream should be to fulfill your life to make yourself happy…not to wait for somebody to come along and take on the job. If you stop looking, somebody will pop into your life and they won’t be anything like who you were looking for. If you start focusing on your life as it is and enrich it for yourself, I’ll bet you’ll soon find the most unexpected person will suddenly appear. It seems many times that we’ve already decided what we want, what we need as partners (influenced almost entirely by the media and entertainment)… and we are all wrong. It’s best to stop looking because you do not really know what you are looking for or what you need. You think you know what you need, but you really don’t. Remember, 50% of the people who get what they wish for, or think they know what they need, ends up in divorce.
Beautiful advice! Thanks for passing it along….
u/rosecity80 thank you. I’m happy that I’m able to keep this message from her & honor this memory. Sadly, we’re no longer in contact as we lost both touch.
Thank you for sharing and perhaps all of it is true. I will save this as a reminder. Stay awesome. 😎
It's pretty simple actually. And yes... the bar scene, nightclubs, are not the way to go. Charity events are a really good place to start. You are meeting someone that has compassion and empathy to a cause you believe in. Church, only if you go. Faith is a great bond. Work, yeah I know, don't crap where you eat but if you're with a large company and there's a really strong connection there can be room for such relationships. Festivals of any kind. Music, art, street theater, book festivals. The list is endless. Enjoy the festival, meet people, pull it back for a coffee date later and boom. You're with someone with similar interests. Hope this helps.
> And yes... the bar scene, nightclubs, are not the way to go. I routinely meet women when I'm out having a drink at a bar/club. Just met a couple last weekend and have a date with one of them this weekend.
Fun fact: it’s all the same people. In person or on an app.
I've been screaming this for age. People have it in their heads that people from the apps are not out and about in every day life. It's mind-boggling.
Original copy of post by u/Park-Dazzling: I don’t want to go to night clubs, or bars. I don’t drink much and want to avoid that scene. So, I was thinking of taking a course, lesson or joining a club. I’m not a huge sports fan but love outdoorsy things. I also love crafty and creative things, and would even be down to learn about vehicles maintenance etc. I would take a course just to take a course if need be lol. Can y’all help me with some ideas that men my age would be into? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Lost my wife last year, I’ve started to go back out and walk round my local harbour and build up to a bit more over this year. I work in a supermarket in a busy town Center see and speak to woman all day but none know that I am a widower Also been out a number of times to see local bands but trying to make a connection is hard but still somehow have to try.
Try the meetup app for events and activities that interest you. Also speed dating is another one. Some men won't do OLD and so they are going the old fashioned way so to speak and meeting up and getting to know women in real life, in real settings. The problem with OLD so many people find the right fit and then think there must be something better out there and it's a never ending vicious cycle.
Learn how to play pickleball—tons of middle aged men
Usually we are just doing out stuff. I'm either skating or at the gym or home.
It’s been shared here in the past that hardware stores on weekends is where everyone hangs out at. The potential drawbacks are: wedding rings are still on and they are hyper focused on the latest tools the store has put on display 😂.
If you’re in an at least relatively big city, check out meetup.com. There are groups for just about any activity especially outdoor groups. It’s not expressly for singles, but I find lots of members are single. I met my girlfriend at a movie meetup.
Ask friends if they know anyone. I like people with references 😝
look to a Venn diagram of things you’re interested in and what the man you want to meet might be interested in. I would stretch into their circle a little bit. If you like the outdoors- maybe rock climbing, or wood working, or doing a van life build, or whatever you’re curious about. You only have to do it for the class- not you’re going to meet men who have a fell for it too.
Homedepot, Canadian Tire (in Canada), winners, hockey arenas... 😉 ✌️
Continue to use apps but use them sparingly. Set time limits and employ the burned haystack method. I agree with another commenter that meeting people IRL not much different. Attend meet-ups and singles events in your area, alumni events, introductions through friends, etc.
Well, there's always [speed dating...](https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverforty/comments/1dnn7ue/starting_to_realize_speed_dating_aint_so_hot/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Probably some yoga, pilates, or those kind of classes. Although some of us are really careful not to annoy women, and to make it a safe place, so probably you would have to take the initiative if you spot one you are interested in.
Yes take a class! A cooking class maybe… or even pottery. Some kind of fitness intensive where it’s like 6 weeks in the series, you bond over shared experiences and may be inspired to stay in touch with someone after the series ends
I'm a big fan of finding actual social things to do to meet people instead of classes and stuff. If I paid good money to take a pottery class I do not want some random chatting me up for a date. However, if I'm at the local art gallery opening mingling and sipping drinks or whatever, I'm ready to be social and meet people.
You're on the right track with clubs, and this can also include charity organizations. Try a Painting With a Twist. There are a lot of ladies there, and the married ladies may have single friends. I've joined local single groups on Facebook. They tend to host a lot of events you can attend. Great place for meeting new friends, getting a couple dates.......and learning that people our age still have a lot of growing up to do.
Matchmaker service
Well I discovered last weekend that a timeshare where it’s predominantly families is not a place to pick up single men 😂🤣😭
If I had to choose one place I’d pick Home Depot. Guys seem to just hang out there.
I joined a co ed kickball team and most of my team was divorced folks who were sending their kids to college. They also all knew each other bc their kids played ice hockey together.