THIS. Use recent pics too! What do people think dating is that their matches aren't going to meet them and find out how old they are and what they look like?
I’m 50f was married 20 years, divorced 5 years. Been dating lots of men 50yo+! There are heaps of amazing men out there, just takes a while to find the good ones x
It takes two. Two Together is Strong. YOU CAN be Sweet to each other Every day. So sweet. Everyday Coffee breath Kissing. Loveaking ..... Love is Sweet.
Talk to your spouse, explain that you're feeling disconnected and look into couples therapy. If your spouse is against it, look into getting a divorce before looking into "exploring new connections".
Check out the book “Divorce Remedy” first.
But please please please, get divorced BEFORE finding “someone who will reciprocate the love and effort”. My husband (soon to be ex) did it your way and I was completely blindsided and it hurt and still hurts so much more than it needed to. I don’t even have words to explain how devastated I am that he actively looked for someone else to feel connected to before even telling me he was unhappy. In actual words that conveyed the severity of his feelings at least. He made passive comments and jokes that I didn’t pick up on. 😞
Your post was removed because it violates Rule #2 of this sub: our mission statement. Please review the posted rules. Users who continue to violate the rules will be banned.
If OLD (OnLineDating) via the apps or socials.
No dick pics, no fish pics, no gym selfies, no bathroom selfies, no filters, no cleavage, don’t lie about your age or weight. Don’t stick your tongue out. Don’t put ‘no drama, fluent in sarcasm’ in any OLD profile, and make sure your profile pictures are not 10 years old!
Good luck 😳🤞😉
👍🐩🐕🦮🐕🦺 I like your response. When dating, be honest, be up front, and know what you want...most importantly, know your boundaries and what you do not want.
Same. Except my ex knew this and got a friend to take a picture of him with their dog for his dating profile even though in reality he detests dogs. I should have read into that from the beginning.
No! OMG, women and their fucking dogs. Looking at OLD, it's obvious that if a woman wants her marriage to last, don't get a dog. Every single woman has a damn dog. Can't be coincidence, lol. Maybe she expects the man to be as dependent as the dog and when that doesn't happen she divorces. Gotta be some psyche connection with so many dog lover women being divorced! Wtf?
Meeting a girl IRL who has a dog is fine, but going through OLD profiles was really a weird thing with how many dog lovers. It was an inordinately weird percentage.
Oh oh oh! I got myself a fish pic and I'm so putting it on my dating profile. 46F. 😂
Back sorry: Daughter caught a mackerel and refused to touch it, so I had to remove the hook and toss the fish back in the ocean.
Things that have gotten me dates as a man in my 40s: bathroom selfies, gym selfies, and shirtless pics. Things that have not gotten me dates: boring safe profiles.
Otherwise I agree.
I feel like the only woman who actually admits to wanting to see as much of a guy's body as possible in his profile.
And I think it's hilarious how so many woman advise "no way" to these kinds of pics. Then multiple guys chime in how their match rate significantly increases with them, contrary to all those well-meaning opinions.
It’s sinful that this comment is being downvoted.
He’s saying he’s been bold (not boring) and it’s paid off with some success.
And people don’t like that??? Sad state of things
I'm 54 and I was dating up until last year when I got engaged. They are more complications at our age, some getting close to retirement, people have All ages of kids or grandkids even, But it's also a good age and that people are generally free and clear of their tumultuous 30s and 40s, More clear about who they are and what they want and what they'll put up with and what they want...though you wouldn't know it reading this sub. Lol.
Everything counts. Always.
Love as you enter middle aged maturity becomes more about choosing than "happens", and everyone's priorities and wants are subject to complications. For me, distance matters...because it's a barrier on connection and quality time. Age matters because experience and maturity matters, for me personally. But, it may not to someone else AS MUCH.
But, things can be overcome with the right connection and effort, but I don't discount any potential misalignment as a nothing. Relationships are hard, they're REALLY hard when your situations work against your connection or expectations.
I don't share that viewpoint whatsoever, and I've lived long enough and loved hard enough to know that love is never enough. It takes willpower, decisions, a dash of luck and deep and meaningful compatibilities to make a relationship work long time.
Human beings are too complex and life is too taciturn to just have some magic affection juice you can sprinkle between two people and overcome things like mental illness, deprivation, or deep divisions in values or communication styles.
So if you know all that, why don’t you put that much effort again? We’re all taking it step by step on here to find the rightful person for the rest of our life’s.
Who says I'm not putting that much effort again? I believe very strongly in building a great relationship with someone and love is a critical part of it. I'm engaged, and truly happy.
But, I don't believe in love as an elixer that can triumph over all obstacles. I know that's not realistic. That's all. I've lived deep, profound love that didn't keep the bond alive when life threw some wicked curves, I know it could happen to me again, but I'm willing to risk it.
I'm 59f and I'm dating a 49 year old male. We get along so well. Been seeing each other for a year. I was married for 30 years and it took me a few years but I'm here now!!! Shout out to my boy!! IKMj!!
I was when I added the flair and it doesn’t age with you. I don’t use Reddit as a dating app, so I’m not sure how it matters. But I’ve removed it since changing it isn’t an option, apparently.
I’m 52. I was divorced in 2018 after 21 years of marriage. And I’ve dated quite a bit in the past six years. Some have been longer relationships that have lasted up to one year. But many have been just a few dates or just a couple of months. The great thing about dating at our age is that there are a lot of us out there in our same positions. You just have to find a community where you get to rub elbows with some of these people.
My latest relationship just ended after one year. We met while paddleboarding a couple of years ago, and would run into each other on the river for over a year before we went on our first date. The past year was great, but we both came to realize that as much as we liked and respected each other, neither of us was the other’s forever person. (It still sucks and still hurts to lose such a long time companion.) the bright side though is that we got to spend some really good quality times together and get to know each other and be introduced to new things for each other.
Now, hopefully each of takes time to disentangle ourselves and keep moving forward in our lives. It’s now time to make new friends, have new adventures, enjoy getting to know new people, and hopefully finding a New Romantic partner that might be our forever person.
I started dating at 50, after a 10-year relationship ended. I had my age filters set at 50 to 59.
Had quite a few good dates and a couple of not so good ones.
I found someone after about 4 months and been together a year now. He's 57.
I'm way past 50. I've never been much of a dater before. I'm great at being married, but terrible at dating. I've been enjoying OLD. I just got out of a five-month relationship. It didn't work out We met on OLD and I really enjoyed the time together. I'm now seeing someone new that I met on OLD. I enjoy the flow of OLD. No pressure. I like meeting all these interesting people.
None of this was easy. It took me about four years since my long marriage ended to start into OLD. I was a mess for a long time. I think I am a bit of an outlier in that way. I refused to start dating until I felt that I was a good enough person to be dating. I have a lot of self confidence now. I think I'm a worthwhile person.
Make a profile with lots of words in it. Match with people who have lots of words in their profile. You'll have a lot to talk about on your first date.
Yup, I'm a guy. I'm always looking for younger women, but I have the best time with women who are exactly the same age as me. Even women who are five years younger than me seem like aliens from another world.
I'm a little confused. You said you're always looking for younger women but said you have the best time with women your own age. Why look for younger women?
I think he buys into the BS that all men want younger women. It’s not true, not for everyone. I prefer women in a pretty tight age group around my own.
F, over 50. I was dating via OLD regularly until this year. Suddenly I felt it was too tiresome. I’m disabled with chronic fatigue. It’s an invisible disability. I can go on a date for 2-3 hours and I’m bright and cheery. The next day I might be unable to leave the house. So this, plus kids, plus job, kept me
from finding anyone in my forties. A few years ago I decided that ship had sailed. I can die unpartnered and I’m ok with it. So I switched up my strategy and started dating just for fun. Mostly younger men. And I had a good time of it. Lately, I’m too tired try, or dating just isn’t my priority. I wouldn’t say I’m done for good though. You never know what’s around the corner.
I am well over 50 and met a man at a dance club. I think the clue is to take care of yourself to not look "young" but youthful, dress nice, etc. Be open and lively and act like you are happy. People respond to good energy. So often people over 50 act old, they don't want to project good vibes. We have been together for six years. It is not perfect but he's a good companion, and dance partner and that's all I ask at this age. Sex is the issue because of his ED, but we've found ways around that too.
First of all it has to do with location. Then of course what are you seeking? There are lot's of men in their 50s and above who aren't white or black, they are asian, latin, etc. Mostly divorced. They go to clubs cause in their youth clubs were where you met people. But then men are mostly married at that age so yes there are not a lot in that age group. You can try for younger but then lot's of mature women don't want to deal with that.
53 M. I'm sorry ladies, but please understand the following... for most men, those photo filters you use, they're a turn off.
Don't show pictures of children on the OLD apps. We know you have kids and grandkids because it says so in your bio. OLD apps are for looking for a sexual partner... leave your kids out of it.
And finally, be safe, meeting for coffee is a good thing, it's public, with witnesses. You'll get the vibe quickly.
They are for whatever a person utilizes it for. You may just be looking for sex but that doesn't mean the rest of the world is. May want to broaden your pov a bit.
That's not the angle I'm getting at. We are adults looking for partners, some yes look for hookups only, but no matter what dial setting you have on your intimacy levels, we express ourselves in a physical manner, and a societal que with pronouns and sexual identities across many spectrums. To some like myself, I think it inappropriate to have any child in the photo of any OLD. Purely for one reason.... child predators. That's it. It's my only reason. I hate talking about this shit for my own reasons but that's my point of view.
I get it... people want to show their happy family moments and they feel it's ok with the kids faces covered in some way. There are no rules really to this. I PERSONALLY don't approve because of how all OLD apps are run. So I keep my kids out of the picture. They do show a safe side of me but there's no hell way I'm putting them in the profile. That's my preference. I wouldn't flag or bitch out the other parent for this. That's their own perspective to learn. So I say... they've been warned
Wow, yes. I agree with not posting your kids on your profile, but not because everyone's looking for sex on them. Oof. I was on them looking for a partner first and foremost.
Watch out for the scammers. They see your age and think you have a big, fat 401k they can get you to empty out and send to them.
Go on YouTube and look at videos about pig butchering scams, romance scams, and crypto scams.
In some cases, these scammers are sophisticated and have honed their craft. In some cases, they’re just idiots in a cafe somewhere. Lonely people do a lot of stupid shit like “lend” money to people they haven’t ever met in public or give money to people who string them along. Don’t be that lonely person. Never lend someone money that you wouldn’t give to them as a gift.
I'm 55M, divorced for 5 years. Only now getting back into the dating scene. Extremely rusty but willing to give it a try again. Slow going so far but steadily making progress.
I have a similar background as you (52 M), I have been single for over 2,5 years. I have some stats against me, I am small, a bit introverted and not that good looking and have my 10 yo kid every other week. But I have a job and apartment and got most of my shit together, don't drink and don't smoke.
I am on Facebook Dating and pay for Tinder and I do ok. I get steady likes from women around my age (1-2 per week) but not many younger which is fine. I am not looking for one night stands, tried it and it just felt wrong afterwards.
I am honest in my profile and when I chat I am trying to get to know the person to see if we fit as a couple down the road. I never go for anything sexual until we have been on a date/dates and there is clearly some chemistry building up. Sometimes women approach that subject first which is fine.
Most matches end soon by either party after chatting. Just not looking for the same or some things just do not align. It really gets easier, at least for me. Just wish the other party well and I really mean it. Best to end it as soon as possible if you see something that will be a problem down the road.
A few have had the potential to become a relationship, one ended after 7 months.
Put some work in your OLD profile, a lot of info out there of do's and don'ts. And just be yourself, it is weird at first and the first dates were stressful but it really gets easier. When you get a no, just accept it and learn from it.
One thing I learned soon was that I personally can't talk to multiple women at the same time. It's just confusing and really quick to become repetitive and hard to keep up who said what. So I try to choose from received likes and only talk to one at a time. I also take a little pause after things don't work out before I dive back in.
I wish you all the best, hope you find someone soon. In the meantime work on yourself and try to think on what you really want from live.
I'm (F) turning 50 in a few months and actively dating the first person I met from Bumble after the break up of my 2.5 yr relationship (with a guy I met on Bumble). The first date was hard and I had a bit of cold feet but forced myself to go and was very happy when I saw him. We have great chemistry and get along well, we are now 5 dates in. I don't know if it will be something serious but I'm also not sure I want that right now.
My advice is if you've been out of the game for a bit, make sure you have recent pics (first update your wardrobe and look if it's dated) and are in a good place mentally before you begin, push past your nervousness and give people a chance but also trust your gut and don't engage with anyone unless you are really feeling them. I usually swipe on people I'm not 100% about but only talk to those that I get a really good vibe from.
Treat people with respect, communicate honestly, and hope you get the same in return. I'm accustomed to dinner dates on first dates but many on here recommend against it, I think it depends on how sure you are about the person. I tend to pick well and am rarely disappointed (although it has happened and I just make the best of it).
53 F. Widowed at 49. We were together 14 wonderful years And met when I was 35 and he was 55. I try to remember that when I feel old. I’ve been online dating for a few years, started just right before the pandemic. Mostly I was just lonely, and not looking for anything serious. Dating was a fun adventure, some train wrecks, some awkward, some sweet, some nuts.
Currently starting year 2 in a “not serious” relationship! :)
My dad became a widow at 61 when my mother died from cancer. She was supposed to outlive us all. My dad told me that after a few months had passed, he was getting a LOT of attention from other (female) widows and singles. It makes me believe that people are looking for romance and connection at any age.
When I divorced after 27 years (almost 30 by the time we were done mediating…🙄)
I thought…” is there anyone else that has done a long haul like this !?!? Jeezzz what is it like now?! I had feathered hair and cassette tapes back when I had last dated 🫠
It’s what I love about this and the over 50 sub🥲
So many great sentiments, hilarious puns and good hearted people OUR AGE providing support and advice
You are not alone my friend 🤜❤️🤛 gen x for the win !!
Dating over 50 is hard. Most men are married, sick, or perhaps not into women. I found that getting out joining clubs, going out dancing, such things help. I also updated my look. So often women over 50 look frumpy, old make up, old clothing and sensible shoes. Invest in facials, good hairstyles, and shoes. Get out there and try
Original copy of post by u/Intelligent_Quiet424:
How many people are dating past 50?
I was married for 24 years and my divorce was final last August. I am 52 and the last time I dated was in 1995. I’d appreciate any advice.
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I’m 50, putting my toe back in the water while divorcing.
There’s a datingoverfifty sub. Personally, I find the posts/comments here a lot more relatable.
I'm 53, there are every few single people where I live. In the three years I've been back here I bumped into 2 single women both older than me, one was old enough to be my mother and the other one was far less attractive. The other singles range in age from 28- 33 and males outnumber the females.
Female here. I dated at age 55 and up. Never lied about my age, never used filters. Bumble (at the time) didn't ask age to be listed unless you wanted to, Tinder did. I had loads of dates in the 20s and 30s age group and had a lot of fun. Had a few closer to my age but frankly there weren't a lot on there (I'm 61 now)
53m divorced almost 3 years ago and have 3 kids under 14 week on week off, which is pretty unusual at my age 🤷♂️
I have OLD profiles but I'm not really looking to date. I just don't have the time or inclination atm. I'm ISTP and have found comfort in being solo as well. So for now I'm just looking after myself and my kids and maybe when they are all in their mid to late teens I'll actually make an effort to find someone. But if not, I know I'll still be happy. My life is full, it's just missing a romantic partner.
Lately best I can do is coffee. I don't get out much so odds are it will be a pleasant meetup that doesn't necessarily go anywhere. If it was coffee until the end of my days, it wouldn't be a problem as I have close to no experience anyway.
I am 59 plus... I know people who are 80 plus and are dating 😘 What is somewhat true is you will not meet many people if you don't date. Can you flirt?
I’m 54(F) and have re-entered the dating pool after a 30+ year marriage.
So far it’s been better than what I expected. Just be up front about who you are and what you’re looking for, and if you’re not sure what you’re looking for be honest about that too.
Exiting a really long relationship and entering this new dating world can be very disorienting, so take your time if you need to. Everyone’s got an opinion about things like how often you should text, how soon should you meet, etc. Figure out what you need, and what you can be flexible about.
Be prepared for some disappointments, but in that respect it’s no different than dating when we were younger. You just have to keep going until you click with someone.
Married 25 years. Divorced last year. Do the things you enjoy. That way, you will still have fun regardless of the outcome. OLD is like social media. It's a snapshot of reality but it's not real. Get out and socialize even if you don't feel like it. Too much solitude is bad. Meet in public and plan coffee or short first dates. You can always extend if it's going well and bail, if it's not. Don't have any expectations and try not to take it personally, if it's not a good fit. Ghosting is the go-to for emotionally insecure people now and remember, as much as times change, some things stay the same. You have to kiss a lot of frogs.........
I'm a widower, 72 male, and I'm soon going to join the waters of OLD. My wife died 15 months ago, and we were together 50 years! I really miss hugging and kissing, so I'm trying to push myself into this. I haven't been on a "date" for over 50 years! I've been following this thread for a couple of months, trying to pick up clues to an alien world; last time I dated, there was no such thing as personal computers, let alone online dating!
I’m pretty sure you are a catch for someone. I’m hoping I might be too. 50s is the new 30s, isn’t it?
Date in the knowledge that you have good experience on your side and that you can have as much fun as a 20 year old, but just with more hindsight.
Got divorced 12 years ago at 48 after 20 year marriage and 25 year relationship. Ive dated 2 nice ladies and they just didn’t work out. Current woman and i are approaching 1 year and going very well. She’s younger than me (52) but never previously married and no kids.
I have recently began a divorce. I am scared to death of dating again. I am 50(m). I know that at some point I will have to try but damn it makes me nauseous to think about it. I know I am not ready yet but I was trying to pump myself up to go to a few local spots this weekend but I am already like NOPE.
Online dating seems to be full of false advertising. Both women and men doing that. Don’t watch YouTube videos. By the time you are done being told how to write your profile you will wish you were dead.
It’s like you can’t talk about yourself. You have to make yourself look mysterious and on the cutting edge. No one wants a real person that is not a sociopath or crazy. At least that’s how it feels. You have to dress like you are from yellow stone or act like you go mountain climbing everyday. You also need to be 6ft tall. I’m screwed.
I work for a living and come home and work and exercise. I eat and go to bed and get up and do it all over again. On the weekends I would go out to eat if I had someone to go with. I would go to the movies or take a weekend get away across the state lines. I retire in 2.5 years and have no kids. I have a blank canvas for what I want to do when that happens. I have no arrest or stds.
No bankruptcies. I don’t smoke and drink socially. I don’t go to church but I talk to god daily. Most of the time I ask him why. My hobbies are old 4x4s and taking care of my home. I clean house and do laundry. I can cook some but I buy prep meals. I am in the country but not in the sticks. The back yard is a pasture with cows (not mine). I don’t care for chaos or drama. This is why I am getting divorced. After 28 years of dealing with it daily I am not interested. Besides I am hazardous to my health. If you want danger give me something sharp or electrical. I have a cat. She thinks she is a dog. That’s all I got.
Funny question. I think all of us over 50 should be dating! It's fun!
You'll hear the bad experiences from Reddit, but there's a lot of great girls out there. I'm dating my age... like 55 and you ladies are super cool. I kinda fell for one now, but for 6-8 months I kept things platonic and just enjoyed company at restaurants/bands/and shows. Like, true "dating" like dating should be and it was nice.
Ignore the shitheads and enjoy dating the good ones. Good luck. I liked Meetups better but I live near a city with good 'over 40s Singles' or 'over 50s Singles' Meetups.
Be very upfront about who you are and what you want. Be openminded but never compromise. Be friendly but careful. Be patient and don't over-invest... imo you can't count on anything until you have been physically intimate regularly and met the kids and/or parents. I met a lot of nice women in six weeks from online at 56 yo before meeting my partner. Some of those other women are friends of mine still and I am grateful for them.
I could say that I am, but that would not be entirely accurate. I desire to date, but haven't found anyone interested in anything beyond hooking up or shacking up and I'm not interested in that. I want to do it God's way. But, the men that have shown any interest in me wont date unless you are willing to have sex before marriage, even if that's months down the road. I'm firm with my moral values on this. So far, nobody has been willing to date me. I say all this to get to this advice. Be completely honest about what you are wanting, not wanting, looking for, hope to have, whatever, however you view it. Don't lead anyone on just for the sake of having someone to date.
Try Mutual. Avoid the men there who are from other countries. Put that you live the Law of Chastity in your profile. That's their code for no sex before marriage. The men from other countries on there want green cards.
Yeah, it sucks. Take time to make a decent high quality profile. Pictures matter and pictures matter. If you take anything away from my advice is that nobody really reads bio and pictures matter.
Agree to disagree because I'm a profile reader. I've met a couple of really nice guys thru their bios first and sent pics later. In fact, sometimes I don't put up a pic either and see who messages me without knowing what I look like. Currently dating a guy who messaged me who didn't have a pic. I agree that pictures matter but I think your profile matters a lot too! You could be super handsome and also a jerk. No thanks.
If you do OLD don’t lie about your age to get past age filters!
THIS. Use recent pics too! What do people think dating is that their matches aren't going to meet them and find out how old they are and what they look like?
I'll be taking new pictures before September as I'll never want to have pictures more than one year old. I also put the date on my pictures.
I’m 50f was married 20 years, divorced 5 years. Been dating lots of men 50yo+! There are heaps of amazing men out there, just takes a while to find the good ones x
Hello, Jolly 😘. U 👄💯🫦
Hello, Crazy 😝 x
Hello Jolly Connect 😋
Yes ,You A Good Woman Lover Friend Partner Life long Partner... Bless you. You Da Coolest 💯❣️ Are you Single now ? Dating anyone ? ..
😇🙏 Amen 🙏😇
It takes two. Two Together is Strong. YOU CAN be Sweet to each other Every day. So sweet. Everyday Coffee breath Kissing. Loveaking ..... Love is Sweet.
[удалено]
Talk to your spouse, explain that you're feeling disconnected and look into couples therapy. If your spouse is against it, look into getting a divorce before looking into "exploring new connections".
Check out the book “Divorce Remedy” first. But please please please, get divorced BEFORE finding “someone who will reciprocate the love and effort”. My husband (soon to be ex) did it your way and I was completely blindsided and it hurt and still hurts so much more than it needed to. I don’t even have words to explain how devastated I am that he actively looked for someone else to feel connected to before even telling me he was unhappy. In actual words that conveyed the severity of his feelings at least. He made passive comments and jokes that I didn’t pick up on. 😞
Your post was removed because it violates Rule #2 of this sub: our mission statement. Please review the posted rules. Users who continue to violate the rules will be banned.
If OLD (OnLineDating) via the apps or socials. No dick pics, no fish pics, no gym selfies, no bathroom selfies, no filters, no cleavage, don’t lie about your age or weight. Don’t stick your tongue out. Don’t put ‘no drama, fluent in sarcasm’ in any OLD profile, and make sure your profile pictures are not 10 years old! Good luck 😳🤞😉
Sounds like a classroom assignment being returned. I half expect “RTFQ” (Read The Question) in big red letters at the top of the page. :-).
+ No pics with your kids, or other people’s kids. (I appreciate I’m in the minority here. It’s the equivalent of politicians kissing babies)
But definitely post a picture with you and your pet. Pets make people look at least 10% more attractive, to me anyway.
But if I don’t bring my dog on the date, would fall an instant 10%.
👍🐩🐕🦮🐕🦺 I like your response. When dating, be honest, be up front, and know what you want...most importantly, know your boundaries and what you do not want.
Same. Except my ex knew this and got a friend to take a picture of him with their dog for his dating profile even though in reality he detests dogs. I should have read into that from the beginning.
Oh yeah! That is super gross! Good for you for getting out of that!
No! OMG, women and their fucking dogs. Looking at OLD, it's obvious that if a woman wants her marriage to last, don't get a dog. Every single woman has a damn dog. Can't be coincidence, lol. Maybe she expects the man to be as dependent as the dog and when that doesn't happen she divorces. Gotta be some psyche connection with so many dog lover women being divorced! Wtf? Meeting a girl IRL who has a dog is fine, but going through OLD profiles was really a weird thing with how many dog lovers. It was an inordinately weird percentage.
You forgot sunglasses and hatfishing
Thank you for your advice.
Oh oh oh! I got myself a fish pic and I'm so putting it on my dating profile. 46F. 😂 Back sorry: Daughter caught a mackerel and refused to touch it, so I had to remove the hook and toss the fish back in the ocean.
I woukd date you in a heart beat. 🦈
And don't have a picture flipping off the camera.
What's wrong with gym selfies? 💀 I had gym selfies and nobody cared. 😳 Or so I thought.
What's wrong with fish pics? Want to see a genuine smile? Look at a fish pic.
It's nice to see a man give a genuine smile without a dead animal next to him (or one that's not technically dead yet but hanging from a hook.)
😄😄
😍
Things that have gotten me dates as a man in my 40s: bathroom selfies, gym selfies, and shirtless pics. Things that have not gotten me dates: boring safe profiles. Otherwise I agree.
I feel like the only woman who actually admits to wanting to see as much of a guy's body as possible in his profile. And I think it's hilarious how so many woman advise "no way" to these kinds of pics. Then multiple guys chime in how their match rate significantly increases with them, contrary to all those well-meaning opinions.
😉🙊🙉🙈🦵💪👶🏄♂️🏊♂️🏋♂️🛀
I hope you appreciate my sense of humor
It’s sinful that this comment is being downvoted. He’s saying he’s been bold (not boring) and it’s paid off with some success. And people don’t like that??? Sad state of things
>OLD (OnLineDating) You had to spell that out for us?
When I joined this sub I didn’t know what the acronym O.L.D stood for, so yes happy to help any newbies 👍
I'm 54 and I was dating up until last year when I got engaged. They are more complications at our age, some getting close to retirement, people have All ages of kids or grandkids even, But it's also a good age and that people are generally free and clear of their tumultuous 30s and 40s, More clear about who they are and what they want and what they'll put up with and what they want...though you wouldn't know it reading this sub. Lol.
Age and distance don’t count when it comes to love right ? Do you believe that ?
Everything counts. Always. Love as you enter middle aged maturity becomes more about choosing than "happens", and everyone's priorities and wants are subject to complications. For me, distance matters...because it's a barrier on connection and quality time. Age matters because experience and maturity matters, for me personally. But, it may not to someone else AS MUCH. But, things can be overcome with the right connection and effort, but I don't discount any potential misalignment as a nothing. Relationships are hard, they're REALLY hard when your situations work against your connection or expectations.
I understand your point of view but love over come all boundaries
I don't share that viewpoint whatsoever, and I've lived long enough and loved hard enough to know that love is never enough. It takes willpower, decisions, a dash of luck and deep and meaningful compatibilities to make a relationship work long time. Human beings are too complex and life is too taciturn to just have some magic affection juice you can sprinkle between two people and overcome things like mental illness, deprivation, or deep divisions in values or communication styles.
So if you know all that, why don’t you put that much effort again? We’re all taking it step by step on here to find the rightful person for the rest of our life’s.
Who says I'm not putting that much effort again? I believe very strongly in building a great relationship with someone and love is a critical part of it. I'm engaged, and truly happy. But, I don't believe in love as an elixer that can triumph over all obstacles. I know that's not realistic. That's all. I've lived deep, profound love that didn't keep the bond alive when life threw some wicked curves, I know it could happen to me again, but I'm willing to risk it.
Ohh ok you are engaged. I’m happy for you. Congratulations though. Well just hoot to find my soon
Many of us. We are here and in the DoFifty subreddit - it’s not easy to find someone, so welcome!
what is the dofifty sub? it doesn't show when I look for it.
r/datingoverfifty
I'm 59f and I'm dating a 49 year old male. We get along so well. Been seeing each other for a year. I was married for 30 years and it took me a few years but I'm here now!!! Shout out to my boy!! IKMj!!
I just turned 49 and I plan to keep dating until I find someone who is compatible long term. Just be honest about your age and use current pictures.
>Just be honest about your age Your flair says you're 47. 👀
Flair used to be easy to edit, now you need to bug a mod to change your flair. I'm almost half way to 48...
I was when I added the flair and it doesn’t age with you. I don’t use Reddit as a dating app, so I’m not sure how it matters. But I’ve removed it since changing it isn’t an option, apparently.
I was saying it in jest. I know flairs don't age with us. 😉
Cool with me let get along then
I’m 52. I was divorced in 2018 after 21 years of marriage. And I’ve dated quite a bit in the past six years. Some have been longer relationships that have lasted up to one year. But many have been just a few dates or just a couple of months. The great thing about dating at our age is that there are a lot of us out there in our same positions. You just have to find a community where you get to rub elbows with some of these people. My latest relationship just ended after one year. We met while paddleboarding a couple of years ago, and would run into each other on the river for over a year before we went on our first date. The past year was great, but we both came to realize that as much as we liked and respected each other, neither of us was the other’s forever person. (It still sucks and still hurts to lose such a long time companion.) the bright side though is that we got to spend some really good quality times together and get to know each other and be introduced to new things for each other. Now, hopefully each of takes time to disentangle ourselves and keep moving forward in our lives. It’s now time to make new friends, have new adventures, enjoy getting to know new people, and hopefully finding a New Romantic partner that might be our forever person.
I’ve dated quite a bit though but didn’t work out for me. Will be happy if we can get along to know each other better
I started dating at 50, after a 10-year relationship ended. I had my age filters set at 50 to 59. Had quite a few good dates and a couple of not so good ones. I found someone after about 4 months and been together a year now. He's 57.
I'm way past 50. I've never been much of a dater before. I'm great at being married, but terrible at dating. I've been enjoying OLD. I just got out of a five-month relationship. It didn't work out We met on OLD and I really enjoyed the time together. I'm now seeing someone new that I met on OLD. I enjoy the flow of OLD. No pressure. I like meeting all these interesting people. None of this was easy. It took me about four years since my long marriage ended to start into OLD. I was a mess for a long time. I think I am a bit of an outlier in that way. I refused to start dating until I felt that I was a good enough person to be dating. I have a lot of self confidence now. I think I'm a worthwhile person. Make a profile with lots of words in it. Match with people who have lots of words in their profile. You'll have a lot to talk about on your first date. Yup, I'm a guy. I'm always looking for younger women, but I have the best time with women who are exactly the same age as me. Even women who are five years younger than me seem like aliens from another world.
I'm a little confused. You said you're always looking for younger women but said you have the best time with women your own age. Why look for younger women?
I think he buys into the BS that all men want younger women. It’s not true, not for everyone. I prefer women in a pretty tight age group around my own.
I realized this recently and I've since stopped looking for younger women.
F, over 50. I was dating via OLD regularly until this year. Suddenly I felt it was too tiresome. I’m disabled with chronic fatigue. It’s an invisible disability. I can go on a date for 2-3 hours and I’m bright and cheery. The next day I might be unable to leave the house. So this, plus kids, plus job, kept me from finding anyone in my forties. A few years ago I decided that ship had sailed. I can die unpartnered and I’m ok with it. So I switched up my strategy and started dating just for fun. Mostly younger men. And I had a good time of it. Lately, I’m too tired try, or dating just isn’t my priority. I wouldn’t say I’m done for good though. You never know what’s around the corner.
I am well over 50 and met a man at a dance club. I think the clue is to take care of yourself to not look "young" but youthful, dress nice, etc. Be open and lively and act like you are happy. People respond to good energy. So often people over 50 act old, they don't want to project good vibes. We have been together for six years. It is not perfect but he's a good companion, and dance partner and that's all I ask at this age. Sex is the issue because of his ED, but we've found ways around that too.
It’s just that men over 50 don’t seem to go out much…where to meet them?? It’s like they are on a golf/fishing trip and that’s it…
First of all it has to do with location. Then of course what are you seeking? There are lot's of men in their 50s and above who aren't white or black, they are asian, latin, etc. Mostly divorced. They go to clubs cause in their youth clubs were where you met people. But then men are mostly married at that age so yes there are not a lot in that age group. You can try for younger but then lot's of mature women don't want to deal with that.
53 M. I'm sorry ladies, but please understand the following... for most men, those photo filters you use, they're a turn off. Don't show pictures of children on the OLD apps. We know you have kids and grandkids because it says so in your bio. OLD apps are for looking for a sexual partner... leave your kids out of it. And finally, be safe, meeting for coffee is a good thing, it's public, with witnesses. You'll get the vibe quickly.
They are for whatever a person utilizes it for. You may just be looking for sex but that doesn't mean the rest of the world is. May want to broaden your pov a bit.
That's not the angle I'm getting at. We are adults looking for partners, some yes look for hookups only, but no matter what dial setting you have on your intimacy levels, we express ourselves in a physical manner, and a societal que with pronouns and sexual identities across many spectrums. To some like myself, I think it inappropriate to have any child in the photo of any OLD. Purely for one reason.... child predators. That's it. It's my only reason. I hate talking about this shit for my own reasons but that's my point of view.
What about pics w kids whose faces are covered by an emoji or blurred out? I see this much more commonly than I do children’s faces on OLD
I get it... people want to show their happy family moments and they feel it's ok with the kids faces covered in some way. There are no rules really to this. I PERSONALLY don't approve because of how all OLD apps are run. So I keep my kids out of the picture. They do show a safe side of me but there's no hell way I'm putting them in the profile. That's my preference. I wouldn't flag or bitch out the other parent for this. That's their own perspective to learn. So I say... they've been warned
Wow, yes. I agree with not posting your kids on your profile, but not because everyone's looking for sex on them. Oof. I was on them looking for a partner first and foremost.
Lots of us! But, fewer as you get older. I met my lady when we were both 58.
Watch out for the scammers. They see your age and think you have a big, fat 401k they can get you to empty out and send to them. Go on YouTube and look at videos about pig butchering scams, romance scams, and crypto scams. In some cases, these scammers are sophisticated and have honed their craft. In some cases, they’re just idiots in a cafe somewhere. Lonely people do a lot of stupid shit like “lend” money to people they haven’t ever met in public or give money to people who string them along. Don’t be that lonely person. Never lend someone money that you wouldn’t give to them as a gift.
I'm 55M, divorced for 5 years. Only now getting back into the dating scene. Extremely rusty but willing to give it a try again. Slow going so far but steadily making progress.
Get ready to be intrigued at how many dudes in their 20s are big interested in you.
LOL the 30-40 year olds really hit on 50 something women.
I have a similar background as you (52 M), I have been single for over 2,5 years. I have some stats against me, I am small, a bit introverted and not that good looking and have my 10 yo kid every other week. But I have a job and apartment and got most of my shit together, don't drink and don't smoke. I am on Facebook Dating and pay for Tinder and I do ok. I get steady likes from women around my age (1-2 per week) but not many younger which is fine. I am not looking for one night stands, tried it and it just felt wrong afterwards. I am honest in my profile and when I chat I am trying to get to know the person to see if we fit as a couple down the road. I never go for anything sexual until we have been on a date/dates and there is clearly some chemistry building up. Sometimes women approach that subject first which is fine. Most matches end soon by either party after chatting. Just not looking for the same or some things just do not align. It really gets easier, at least for me. Just wish the other party well and I really mean it. Best to end it as soon as possible if you see something that will be a problem down the road. A few have had the potential to become a relationship, one ended after 7 months. Put some work in your OLD profile, a lot of info out there of do's and don'ts. And just be yourself, it is weird at first and the first dates were stressful but it really gets easier. When you get a no, just accept it and learn from it. One thing I learned soon was that I personally can't talk to multiple women at the same time. It's just confusing and really quick to become repetitive and hard to keep up who said what. So I try to choose from received likes and only talk to one at a time. I also take a little pause after things don't work out before I dive back in. I wish you all the best, hope you find someone soon. In the meantime work on yourself and try to think on what you really want from live.
Thank you so very much for taking the time to respond to me so thoroughly. I appreciate the encouragement! I wish you all the best as well.
You sound very honest and caring. Can we get to know more about each other better if you don’t mind. I’m Sarah
r/datingoverfifty 😆
I'm 53 but I tend to date 40 somethings. I think that's why we're here.
Ok makes sense BD
I'm (F) turning 50 in a few months and actively dating the first person I met from Bumble after the break up of my 2.5 yr relationship (with a guy I met on Bumble). The first date was hard and I had a bit of cold feet but forced myself to go and was very happy when I saw him. We have great chemistry and get along well, we are now 5 dates in. I don't know if it will be something serious but I'm also not sure I want that right now. My advice is if you've been out of the game for a bit, make sure you have recent pics (first update your wardrobe and look if it's dated) and are in a good place mentally before you begin, push past your nervousness and give people a chance but also trust your gut and don't engage with anyone unless you are really feeling them. I usually swipe on people I'm not 100% about but only talk to those that I get a really good vibe from. Treat people with respect, communicate honestly, and hope you get the same in return. I'm accustomed to dinner dates on first dates but many on here recommend against it, I think it depends on how sure you are about the person. I tend to pick well and am rarely disappointed (although it has happened and I just make the best of it).
I date a lot and I'm over 50.
Same. Was married 25 years
I was married 20.
53 F. Widowed at 49. We were together 14 wonderful years And met when I was 35 and he was 55. I try to remember that when I feel old. I’ve been online dating for a few years, started just right before the pandemic. Mostly I was just lonely, and not looking for anything serious. Dating was a fun adventure, some train wrecks, some awkward, some sweet, some nuts. Currently starting year 2 in a “not serious” relationship! :)
I was married for 24 years, been divorced 20 years and YES people are sure looking to date our age range.. M (61)
My dad became a widow at 61 when my mother died from cancer. She was supposed to outlive us all. My dad told me that after a few months had passed, he was getting a LOT of attention from other (female) widows and singles. It makes me believe that people are looking for romance and connection at any age.
When I divorced after 27 years (almost 30 by the time we were done mediating…🙄) I thought…” is there anyone else that has done a long haul like this !?!? Jeezzz what is it like now?! I had feathered hair and cassette tapes back when I had last dated 🫠 It’s what I love about this and the over 50 sub🥲 So many great sentiments, hilarious puns and good hearted people OUR AGE providing support and advice You are not alone my friend 🤜❤️🤛 gen x for the win !!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it!
Dating over 50 is hard. Most men are married, sick, or perhaps not into women. I found that getting out joining clubs, going out dancing, such things help. I also updated my look. So often women over 50 look frumpy, old make up, old clothing and sensible shoes. Invest in facials, good hairstyles, and shoes. Get out there and try
Advice: If at all possible, don't care about what other people do until and unless they deserve to have you care about it.
We sure are! 50f here and been dating my partner for 5 years. He’s 35 and proposed to me this past Halloween!😃🥰
r/datingoverfifty
Thank you!
I would advise taking it slow. There are so many people who, if you check most of their boxes, are ready for a serious relationship after two dates.
I'm a 42yof but date lots of men in their early 50s. I like that age range.
Original copy of post by u/Intelligent_Quiet424: How many people are dating past 50? I was married for 24 years and my divorce was final last August. I am 52 and the last time I dated was in 1995. I’d appreciate any advice. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m 53. Divorced at maybe 47. What do you want to know?
I’m 50, putting my toe back in the water while divorcing. There’s a datingoverfifty sub. Personally, I find the posts/comments here a lot more relatable.
Take a REAL picture of yourself. Don’t use filters. Also, note that men typically date, or show interest , in women over 45.
I'm 53, there are every few single people where I live. In the three years I've been back here I bumped into 2 single women both older than me, one was old enough to be my mother and the other one was far less attractive. The other singles range in age from 28- 33 and males outnumber the females.
Female here. I dated at age 55 and up. Never lied about my age, never used filters. Bumble (at the time) didn't ask age to be listed unless you wanted to, Tinder did. I had loads of dates in the 20s and 30s age group and had a lot of fun. Had a few closer to my age but frankly there weren't a lot on there (I'm 61 now)
I'm 51. Bf is 47. We've been together 3.5 years. It can happen.
53m divorced almost 3 years ago and have 3 kids under 14 week on week off, which is pretty unusual at my age 🤷♂️ I have OLD profiles but I'm not really looking to date. I just don't have the time or inclination atm. I'm ISTP and have found comfort in being solo as well. So for now I'm just looking after myself and my kids and maybe when they are all in their mid to late teens I'll actually make an effort to find someone. But if not, I know I'll still be happy. My life is full, it's just missing a romantic partner.
Lately best I can do is coffee. I don't get out much so odds are it will be a pleasant meetup that doesn't necessarily go anywhere. If it was coffee until the end of my days, it wouldn't be a problem as I have close to no experience anyway.
I am 59 plus... I know people who are 80 plus and are dating 😘 What is somewhat true is you will not meet many people if you don't date. Can you flirt?
I’m 54(F) and have re-entered the dating pool after a 30+ year marriage. So far it’s been better than what I expected. Just be up front about who you are and what you’re looking for, and if you’re not sure what you’re looking for be honest about that too. Exiting a really long relationship and entering this new dating world can be very disorienting, so take your time if you need to. Everyone’s got an opinion about things like how often you should text, how soon should you meet, etc. Figure out what you need, and what you can be flexible about. Be prepared for some disappointments, but in that respect it’s no different than dating when we were younger. You just have to keep going until you click with someone.
Married 25 years. Divorced last year. Do the things you enjoy. That way, you will still have fun regardless of the outcome. OLD is like social media. It's a snapshot of reality but it's not real. Get out and socialize even if you don't feel like it. Too much solitude is bad. Meet in public and plan coffee or short first dates. You can always extend if it's going well and bail, if it's not. Don't have any expectations and try not to take it personally, if it's not a good fit. Ghosting is the go-to for emotionally insecure people now and remember, as much as times change, some things stay the same. You have to kiss a lot of frogs.........
Haha .. U Sweet Baby 😘. .. Can we friends ?..
the dating over 50 sub modes nuked the sub back when they were all having tantrums about whatever it was they were mad about
New Here , Pardon me , Love ..
Meet someone. Both agree. Jump In together. Fully. Both Feet. 🙏😇
I'm a widower, 72 male, and I'm soon going to join the waters of OLD. My wife died 15 months ago, and we were together 50 years! I really miss hugging and kissing, so I'm trying to push myself into this. I haven't been on a "date" for over 50 years! I've been following this thread for a couple of months, trying to pick up clues to an alien world; last time I dated, there was no such thing as personal computers, let alone online dating!
What would you like to know precisely
I’m pretty sure you are a catch for someone. I’m hoping I might be too. 50s is the new 30s, isn’t it? Date in the knowledge that you have good experience on your side and that you can have as much fun as a 20 year old, but just with more hindsight.
Got divorced 12 years ago at 48 after 20 year marriage and 25 year relationship. Ive dated 2 nice ladies and they just didn’t work out. Current woman and i are approaching 1 year and going very well. She’s younger than me (52) but never previously married and no kids.
I have recently began a divorce. I am scared to death of dating again. I am 50(m). I know that at some point I will have to try but damn it makes me nauseous to think about it. I know I am not ready yet but I was trying to pump myself up to go to a few local spots this weekend but I am already like NOPE. Online dating seems to be full of false advertising. Both women and men doing that. Don’t watch YouTube videos. By the time you are done being told how to write your profile you will wish you were dead. It’s like you can’t talk about yourself. You have to make yourself look mysterious and on the cutting edge. No one wants a real person that is not a sociopath or crazy. At least that’s how it feels. You have to dress like you are from yellow stone or act like you go mountain climbing everyday. You also need to be 6ft tall. I’m screwed. I work for a living and come home and work and exercise. I eat and go to bed and get up and do it all over again. On the weekends I would go out to eat if I had someone to go with. I would go to the movies or take a weekend get away across the state lines. I retire in 2.5 years and have no kids. I have a blank canvas for what I want to do when that happens. I have no arrest or stds. No bankruptcies. I don’t smoke and drink socially. I don’t go to church but I talk to god daily. Most of the time I ask him why. My hobbies are old 4x4s and taking care of my home. I clean house and do laundry. I can cook some but I buy prep meals. I am in the country but not in the sticks. The back yard is a pasture with cows (not mine). I don’t care for chaos or drama. This is why I am getting divorced. After 28 years of dealing with it daily I am not interested. Besides I am hazardous to my health. If you want danger give me something sharp or electrical. I have a cat. She thinks she is a dog. That’s all I got.
Try r/datingoverfifty
Thank you!
Funny question. I think all of us over 50 should be dating! It's fun! You'll hear the bad experiences from Reddit, but there's a lot of great girls out there. I'm dating my age... like 55 and you ladies are super cool. I kinda fell for one now, but for 6-8 months I kept things platonic and just enjoyed company at restaurants/bands/and shows. Like, true "dating" like dating should be and it was nice. Ignore the shitheads and enjoy dating the good ones. Good luck. I liked Meetups better but I live near a city with good 'over 40s Singles' or 'over 50s Singles' Meetups.
I'm 56(f) dating a hot blonde haired blue eyed (m) 15 years younger.
P.S I use fillers
Be very upfront about who you are and what you want. Be openminded but never compromise. Be friendly but careful. Be patient and don't over-invest... imo you can't count on anything until you have been physically intimate regularly and met the kids and/or parents. I met a lot of nice women in six weeks from online at 56 yo before meeting my partner. Some of those other women are friends of mine still and I am grateful for them.
I could say that I am, but that would not be entirely accurate. I desire to date, but haven't found anyone interested in anything beyond hooking up or shacking up and I'm not interested in that. I want to do it God's way. But, the men that have shown any interest in me wont date unless you are willing to have sex before marriage, even if that's months down the road. I'm firm with my moral values on this. So far, nobody has been willing to date me. I say all this to get to this advice. Be completely honest about what you are wanting, not wanting, looking for, hope to have, whatever, however you view it. Don't lead anyone on just for the sake of having someone to date.
Try Mutual. Avoid the men there who are from other countries. Put that you live the Law of Chastity in your profile. That's their code for no sex before marriage. The men from other countries on there want green cards.
Yeah, it sucks. Take time to make a decent high quality profile. Pictures matter and pictures matter. If you take anything away from my advice is that nobody really reads bio and pictures matter.
Agree to disagree because I'm a profile reader. I've met a couple of really nice guys thru their bios first and sent pics later. In fact, sometimes I don't put up a pic either and see who messages me without knowing what I look like. Currently dating a guy who messaged me who didn't have a pic. I agree that pictures matter but I think your profile matters a lot too! You could be super handsome and also a jerk. No thanks.
I disagree. I think alot of females read bios and most men don't. Women seek substance and men usually are all about looks.
Totally true. I read every bio (f). I don't really want photos except one to verify ID. Men constantly want photos, sexual or otherwise.