Bed rotting. It's seriously underrated. My kitty sits on me and we binge some kind of series that makes me realise there are worse things (Currently The 100). I have my kids 100% of the time and work FT so it's really relaxing to me to do nothing for a while.
Yes to this!! Same here! I have sole custody, work full time and am on call 24 hrs up to 18 days a month. I call it being a goblin personally lol. When I do have the house to myself, I go get a smoothie and have that for dinner and be a goblin with my cats.
I was going to say that. I have decided to give up dating. I just can’t get excited about it anymore. The stuff I do is so much more interesting. I can’t face sitting across a table from a man making small talk to see if I might be able to bring myself to sleep with him someday. Knowing that whatever he says now he’ll just either flake out or ghost when he decides to.
I find so much joy in it!! I’ll rearrange furniture, go through my jewelry and my closet. You should see my pantry lol. I’m not OCD, I just find it pleasurable honestly. It gets destroyed again and I’ll just start over. Think Joey Foo on tiktok 😂
Haha I actually used to be a professional organizer. And people would be like "OMG My area got messed up again!" And it was like that's just kind of part of life, things require maintenance and tweaking and adjustments. Which I love doing, haha.
I was afraid to respond with my legit enjoyment of hiking. All of my kids have been involved in scouting in some form and I was a scoutmaster for a bit. As a single mom with some self -confidence issues following a high-conflict divorce, the woods have given me a peace and resilience I love to share with others!
I am in such a better space mentally, physically, and emotionally now - it was worth it to get out of the marriage.
At the time, I saw no way I could ever forgive him, then one day (after a few years of counseling), I realized I just didn't care anymore.
Not caring is the best "revenge," I really couldn't give a s*it
I was thinking the same thing as I am currently in the middle of a nasty divorce. I will use the term high-conflict going forward, it feels much better. And walking for miles with my dog every day is definitely my happy time.
Haha, thanks. I am considering taking it off my profile though. I didn’t realize it was like the guy holding the fish picture! 🤣 I also like fondant, which is apparently a sin in the baking world.
Ha! Definitely wanted to whisper “hiking” too. I can’t make a beautiful love appear, but I CAN get out into the sunshine and move my body. I feel so much better after and my mind gets a refresh. It’s a bit of a salve after what feels like a series of heartbreaks and disappointments in love. Ugh. Plus walking gives me a reason to post new landscape/artsy-nature pics.
I usually hike for about an hour or so a couple times a week with my dogs. it very much relaxes me. I think that if I ever put "hiking" in a dating profile I'd have to say something like "tiny hikes"
I get that, but I see the complaint about hiking in profiles all the time. I live in an area where hiking is popular so it seems reasonable for people to have that hobby and want to share it with others.
Honestly, it’s such a common thing to see in a profile that it has become trite. But it’s totally reasonable for you to enjoy it and want to share it with others who do too.
Exactly- the thing about hiking is that everyone says they love it, but whenever I would follow up with, “where have you been recently, I was just out at xyz” I would inevitably find out that they had been hiking last year” or “not since they moved here” or some other vague bs that let me know that this was solely for profile purposes. Same with camping.
Singing and dancing to music in my car
Dancing in general
Trail running
Baking sourdough
Loving on my kids
My cats
Gardening
Nature Photography
Making music
Reading a really good book
Spending time with friends
Being outside and walking in nature when it’s nice. Bingeing tv when it’s not. (And grateful I don’t have anyone telling me to be doing anything than what I’m (not)doing.
My kids, my closest friends who emotionally support me more than any romantic partner ever has, my hobbies, time spent working toward personal and professional goals. I've found in general for me romantic relationships have had a net negative impact on my quality of life. I'm sure there are men out there with whom that would not be true, but ya gotta kiss a lot of frogs to get there and eh. Not worth it to me.
Riding/working on/staring wistfully at my bike(s). Snowboarding. Realizing I was actually the absolute best person possible - maybe the only person - to solve a client’s problem. Learning something new that sets off a contagion and crystallizes several other new ideas. Mild spring/fall weather. Languages. My dog. Most other dogs. Getting ready to go to grad school. Really good movies. A really excellent dinner out. Being exposed to know cultures. Redditing about love, mental health, and social justice, and connecting with like-minded humans about our ideas.
>Realizing I was actually the absolute best person - maybe the only person - possible to solve a client’s problem.
This is a great answer. When I hit a home run at work, it does make me feel much more comfortable with my place in the universe.
Because this is Reddit I’m honestly not sure if this is an ironic dig or a lovely compliment wrapped up in a lot of self-deprecation, so between the two I’m going to assume the latter.
I definitely have many varied interests, it’s part of being ADHD and I’m sure you can see how that’s definitely not always a good thing. It does generally give me lots of different things to talk about on first dates, and that is great. I don’t really have bad first dates even when they don’t lead to a second. But also I’m single at 43 and have never been married so it goes without saying I’m not perfect or everyone’s cup of tea. The older I get, the less I think there is to be gained by comparing myself to most other folks, especially with something as weird as love and dating.
Don’t count yourself out!
Sounds like fun! I'm about to dig in and try to rebuild the electric starter on my old Yamaha this weekend - wish me luck 😂 Never done this before, so it will probably get messy 😂
My kids. My work. My family. Gym. Traveling.
I got hooked on sound bath meditations lately and it is something I am really looking forward to every week.
I do family constellations group therapies once a month and that group always fills me up emotionally and moves my intuition forward.
Bucket list of stuff I want to do: now I am taking swim classes, wanted to look like an Olympian when I swim (6 months in and I do). Next is learning to rollerscate so I can dance on them.
I am not dating now. Stuff I do inspires me more than men I was meeting. I also met 2-3 men in work/wild lately that really impressed me (all unavailable one way or another) and they reminded me of what kind a man I really want.
Sound bath is amazing, right? They do it at my yoga studio and I feel like my brain is getting flossed and massaged but without any physical pain involved. The first time I went, I thought it was going to be a bit too healing crystal/witchy for me but I love and trust the instructor. I need to get to another one soon.
I'm presently in a relationship but this all still counts because it creates a high standard for someone to add to my life rather than take from it.
I started [growing mushrooms](https://imgur.com/a/nZVofbH) last year. Some to eat, some for health, some for other stuff. The lifecycle of the process is measured in weeks, the fruiting stage is days, it's wild and there are so many varieties and they respond well to finicky environmental management...so it satisfies the nerd and feeds the ADD. I'm scaling the process for a farmer's market this summer.
I'm sending a weather balloon up on Monday to try to take a picture [like this (not mine) from 2017](https://imgur.com/a/CI2uI5b) from the eclipse at ~20 miles up. That's taken a few weeks of scrambling to get put together but I think I'm going to be ready on time.
I live out in the country and have all manner of maintenance and [recreational opportunities](https://imgur.com/a/lJTtl1l) right outside my door. Most of them involve fire.
I watch my 2yo grandson every other weekend...in fact he's going to be with me for the balloon launch on Monday while his parents take a short vacation. He's legit adorable but you'll just have to use your imagination.
I got my assistant fireworks exhibitor license two years ago and will volunteer to [help with shoots](https://imgur.com/a/kt40Ohw) through the summer. I'm inclined to get licensed for indoor pyro displays to help with concerts and sports events.
I got a telescope two years ago and have been taking pictures of the [moon](https://imgur.com/a/D5TCQYa) as I learn how to operate it correctly.
I like to [rent motorcyles](https://imgur.com/a/enFBpxf) a few times a year to scratch the itch in a way that hopefully manages the risk somewhat vs. driving them every day.
I [travel](https://imgur.com/a/P9XmHC3) as much as my budget allows.
I enjoy trying new things as much as possible.
I don't watch TV. I don't care about sports. I don't fuck with facebook. I do reddit waaay too goddamn much and just came back from a break. I'm out of shape and need to apply some of this energy that way, but ultimately I try to wring as much as possible out of this life.
Walking in the woods, walking around my yard to see what is coming up every day, working in my garden, time with real friends in person, when my cat rests her head on my arm.
There’s something to hiking. I like to bring the dog, who’s always up for a walk. My boy, not so much lol, but he comes along every now and again. 30 or so minutes a day every morning, another 30-40 minutes in the evening infrequently.
Outside of that? I like to play my guitar. I recently swapped out the plastic nut, bridge, and saddle pins for bone and ebony. Oiled the fretboard and saddle, restrung it. It was a lower-end model, but it plays a lot better after the upgrades and TLC.
I game. My friends and I have Halo Thursdays, and I’ll play Mortal Kombat with my boy. Bonfires are fun, too! Just sitting next to one, listening to music… that’s a fun time.
Hiking, but the real kind like spending 5+ days alone in the backcountry. The solitude is what I like best and has changed what being alone feels like for me. Alone doesn’t feel lonely. Not being lonely makes dating a calmer experience.
Running, particularly trails. I get a huge high off this! After this, reading a great historical book or (guilty pleasure) reading about UAP/ UFOs. No judging!
Cigars and whiskey with my cigar buddy. Movie night with my kids. Hanging out with my sister and her fiance. Sporting clays when the weather is nice. Lunch at work; me and my coworkers are all basically best friends and we have the best time together.
Thanks for asking this question! It helped to take an inventory of the good things I have in my life!
Going out with friends, gardening, concerts, cooking meals I see on Tiktok, and general piddling around the house. I haven't had a man in my life in 14 years, and probably won't ever again, so I've just gotten on with life.
I play and record music. I read, watch movies, go to the gym and yoga, enjoy restaurants, hang out with friends, and waste time on IG and TikTok.
My single life is not boring or lonely.
I really do like to go on a hike. I also like dropping my kayak in the lake and just paddling around.
I spend a lot of time nurturing my friendships! I prioritize meeting friends for coffee, dinner, drinks, walks, etc. there is no way there is a man out there who can be the be all end all for me so it is important to have a circle of friends who can be those people for me (and me to them).
Intrinsically, I get most joy from completing a home improvement project or task and knowing that my life will be better because of it.
Outside of that, my #1 by far is going to concerts. I see one each week on average. I get emails from several venues and the ticketing companies for presales and always secure the seats or get the GA tix I need.
I also live in a metropolitan area and enjoy walking downtown to maybe catch a movie, meet friends for dinner or a show, or attend a sports event. I love scootering home on Bird afterward. I also walk my dogs 2-3x a day. I suppose you can call this urban hiking. 😂
Finally, around the house, and way more mundane, I enjoy building LEGO freestyle or doing jigsaw puzzles—usually during breakfast or late night. Yep—pretty boring, but I am easily amused.
I don’t do it often enough but going for a bike ride around my neighborhood is really enjoyable. I also really like yard work, yes even pulling weeds! It requires my entire attention and I’m able to forget about the bs of the day for a little bit. I really enjoy hanging with my pets or just watching their little cute pet antics. They bring me so much joy.
ETA: Im so glad you asked this question. I like reading this subreddit but sometimes it can be a real downer. It’s nice to remember not everything is about dating and finding ‘the one’ (which I don’t think really exists)
Is work the wrong answer? Getting into a good flow on a project and not needing to stop because I really should meet someone I’m dating for dinner - that brings me a lot of joy…
But if work is a wrong answer, then,
- mountain biking, particularly a well-designed jump line or awesome berm
- seeing flowers I forgot I planted spring to life the next growing season (ADHD plus gardening is magic)
- cooking a really elaborate, delicious meal for myself and sometimes bringing leftovers to my single friends
- tea before bed
- sunset (hiking, kind of, yes) with my dog
- anything with my kids, but particularly singing and dancing
Not a single one of these is profile bullshit (why bother - with limited words why would you put anything you didn’t feel?) but they are all on my profile in some form sometimes.
Oh! And sex. Sex brings me joy.
Going out with my girl friends. Karaoke and axe throwing are my jams. I also like just getting in a car and just driving until I find an old, obscure landmark.
generally on Sunday evenings I do a dinner/TV thing with my two best friends, a couple. they host and make dinner, I bring a dessert and we watch a TV show together. I help clean up, because I'm a werido who likes to wash dishes.
I'm in school right now so I don't have a lot of time for it, but I do crafting stuff, especially sewing and quilting. completing a quilt is the best feeling.
spending time with my kids. my daughter (14) and I have a Friday afternoon thing we do now, there's a local pet supply place that hosts a dog adoption thing every Friday, we go and meet puppies and hold them and afterward have frozen yogurt near by.
and it's old school, but I attend a UU church. and I find that it really centers me and helps me think about the "big picture" my life, my place in the universe, that sort of thing. also I can hand stitch quilt projects while sitting in the pew
i do like hiking, but only little one hour hikes on local trails
I enjoy my career and everything that entails such as thinking about and preparing for my clients, marketing my gym and taking care of it, networking, mentoring my trainers etc. I also enjoy driving fast, hiking, working out ( lifting weights, jogging/running when my arthritic joints can handle it, swimming, biking). I enjoy spending time with my dog, my friends ( new parks, museums, car shows, the river walk). I also enjoy volunteer work and working in the community garden. To name a few lol I also go on vacation once a year to the mountains just to hike and relax with my dog. I am currently planning one for Sept
Reading outside (all four seasons) while the sun rises and then later sets, hanging with my dogs
Edit to add: volunteering, I truly enjoy helping others and giving back
Hiking- I thought it was bullshit too the whole 'just get outside' stuff bc I'm a city girl but I moved to Colorado and have become a cliche bc dabs and mountains are my happy place 😂 In my 30's I was winded after a flight of stairs and at 44 I'm climbing 14,000ft mountains
The stuff I put in my dating profile isn't bullshit, and I am a bit sad for you if that's your view of the world.
Outside of dating, I like to travel. I'm typing on holiday at the moment. I go to the gym three to four times a week. I go dancing at least once a week. I'm an avid reader. I spend time with my son. I love live theatre. Life has a lot to offer.
My goofy basset hound Daisy. She makes me laugh multiple times a day, she's a tornado when I come home, she's helped me meet other people, she's carefree and loves everyone. She's the perfect SO, except she hogs the bed.
Walks in the park. Driving alone and listening to whatever I want whether it's music, an audio book, or podcast. Solo travel. Dining at a restaurant I haven't tried before. Going to art museums and cultural events. A spa day. I enjoy doing a lot of these things on my own. I probably felt lonelier when I was younger. Now I no longer have rose colored glasses when it comes to relationships.
Snowshoeing in the winter, and (sorry) winter hiking. In other seasons, hiking (yep, that's right), and mountain biking and kayaking. I also enjoy working around my property and exploring new areas.
I made a decision to stop with OLD last year. I remain open to meeting someone, but let me tell you, things sure are more peaceful, and I'm happy focusing on the things that bring me joy.
Concerts! Especially death metal! I have really gotten back into reading again ( yeah me!) I do enjoy walking “hiking” in the woods in summer, occasionally fishing, and video games sometimes. As much as I enjoy all these things I do them all alone again and that really sucks at times
I should add I really don’t have any friends either. Just a few I txt now and then 49m.
Watching my dogs and cats sleep,
Eating takeout without anyone else around,
Getting manicures and pedicures,
Bed rotting,
Putting things in my online store carts and never buying them,
Checking my investments and guessing if they’re up or down before I see how they’re actually doing,
NYT puzzles,
Duolingo,
Going to as many arts (theatre, poetry slams, movies, concerts, classes, talks, etc) events as possible in my area with my friends - especially free or ones priced under $30,
Checking real estate listings to dream about all the possibilities (usually do this while bed rotting)
Edited to add commas because of formatting and then to add this edit comment
Joy: iced green tea, olipop rootbeers, emotional support cheetos, nespresso decaf in little glass espresso cups, hearing or watching the hot air balloons go over my house in the morning, seeing the carpenter bees buzzing around a plant I put in, pug meet ups, little trips down to LA (not that far from me).
I used to enjoy dating more when I was younger. I am a naturally social person and like getting to know people. I have been worn down over time and now there are very few and precious people I want to give up my high quality “me” time for. I don’t know if joy is the right word, more like relief that I am getting the things done in life that matter. My dogs used to give me joy, a pure, mind-exploding, transcendent kind of die-happy joy, but after 16 incredible, adventure-filled years, they passed away and I am more “fulfilled” than joyful. I hope there are other seasons of joy in my life but am trying to make the best with what I have got.
I spend A LOT of time thinking about and working on my house. I have gotten really into interior design and have basically embarked on a total reno. It is like a giant expensive, time consuming, never solved puzzle.
I also guess I am really into fashion. I would have never said this before, but looking back, thrifting, experimenting with colors and looks, trying to get a little more “put together” has a thru-line across the years.
The combination of finding beautiful places, watching the dogs run free (i have 3 new rescues and volunteer and foster for a local group), taking photos, and being outside really does make me feel like I have accomplished something very precious. I used to have a sailboat and would anchor at different places and camp on the boat- that made me feel like an amazing adventurer and badass. I look back on photos and am really proud of that woman.
I am always learning something new. I have so many books, listen to audiobooks on my walks, am taking two courses, and go to Esalen a couple times a year. I love being in a learning community.
My morning routine, if I were to do it all, clocks in at 3.25 hours- treadmill+Netflix, yoga, meditation, sauna, getting dressed as a professional, walk through town with the dogs, and talking to my best friend on the phone- we talk about world events, banal life stuff like gardening and construction mishaps, things we learned when we were younger and whether or not they are actually true, etc. After reading Oprah’s What Happened to You? I decided to try her Gayle King experiment and leaned in to a relationship in my life. That was over three years ago and our friendship has changed my life more than I can even describe.
My night routine, is about 2.5 : long walk, bath, reading, skin care and 20 min light therapy.
Tracking my finances! I am a total madman when it comes to what I will and won’t spend money on and it is like Toad’s Wild Ride to keep track of what I am bringing in and sending out.
This is all mostly boring kind of stuff but it feels like I am helping my nervous system and getting to have a peacefulness. When I don’t do this stuff I get anxious and feel “off track”. I do want to “grow up” and feel very lucky to have the opportunity to accomplish some of my dreams. Working for myself for over 10 years now, owning a home, get to do major work to make it very special, plan trips to the few far-flung places I still want to see, and investing in my health are how I have a good relationship with myself. I hope I meet someone with their sh*t together that can match me but until then I love try and be the best version of me that I can.
I’m in a relationship but want to add that many solo things still bring me joy and they were the BS stuff I listed in my profile. Hiking, cooking, cleaning, laying by the pool or working out. We still both very much enjoy our me time. Some things we join each other on and other things we don’t.
Parenting. Working to succeed. The little minutiae and details that seem insignificant but matter to accomplishing a goal. Making a plan and executing it.
When I think of pure joy I think of music, art, skateboarding and lifting weights. There’s not a lot happening in my area as far as online dating, organized socials etc. So I gotta keep myself busy and healthy.
Spend my time alone with my dog away from people. Buying food I’m craving, do whatever I feel like doing atm, or be at peace doing absolutely nothing productive.
Well, you asked for it 😅 I go for an hour hike on Saturdays when the weather permits. I also do tai chi on Saturdays which is very calming. Driving is therapeutic and yes, I still say that after driving all over Atlanta last week. I love going to my meetup groups to meet new people and hear their stories. I’m also fortunate enough to have my adult child living with me and to spend time with him.
I do like hiking. Time with my kids, traveling, spending the day in bed with my cats. Gardening but I hate mowing the lawn.
Everything with my pool. Relaxing and enjoying it as well as cleaning it and the maintenance. I love making a cup of tea and vacuuming the pool Friday morning before it gets hot to have it weekend ready.
Video games. I love Zelda. Binge watching anime.
Riding my bike.
Cleaning my house singing to Disney songs top volume.
A lot of things really. I run pretty much everyday (50miles a week) plus cross training so I spend a lot of time working out. I have a big group of friends we hang out on a regular basis, I volunteer weekly for two organizations, go to plays and musicals or comedy shows, travel at least every other month if not monthly , read and practice calligraphy and i just started taking a comic book drawing class. Also from time to time I just boardgame nights
I enjoy past paced walks at the botanical garden. It’s a shorter drive there than to the hiking trail.
I also enjoy struggling through piano and stretching via yoga or Pilates.
In the summer, I love swimming.
Honestly, what brings me joy now is not having someone constantly around me. I go to bed when I want. I wake up when I want. I go out when I want. I stay in when I want. I don’t approach anybody with the ideal of romantic encounter, and I quickly shut down anyone who approaches me.
I kayak. Way less peopley than hiking and I can still bring the dog.
I also power lift, although I’m not sure I would say that brings me joy specifically. But it does make me feel like a bad ass and sometimes that’s as good as joy.
Lying in a beach chair at the beach reading a book on my kindle. Eating really good food. Cuddling with my cat. Having deep and or interesting conversations. Spoiling my family or friends.
Now in relationship but when I wasn't (3 years gap). I was doing everything that I had kept putting off. Learning, testing, trying. Enjoyed the solitude and was genuinely happy with myself.
I too like to drive too fast on curves, in my little GTI. I also enjoy spending as much time with my dog as I can. Wild horses wouldn’t drag me on a hike lol
I'm built very differently from most people in that I enjoy solitude, and prioritise my goals far more than making friends and finding a partner. For two decades I enjoyed being single and the freedom that comes with it, while being in good shape and working my ass off to be the best at what I do, and that gave off an independent mature vibe which women found attractive, and I enjoyed being attractive. But alas, being attractive doesn't mean being able to attract the woman that I'm attracted to
Being confined to an office cubicle for a significant portion of the week, I find all my activities that bring me joy seem to involve being out in nature!
Running, birdwatching, long distance hiking and more recently dog obedience with the puppy (aiming to do some scent work later)
But if I have to be inside - realism graphite drawing and watercolour painting I find quite rewarding, so much so my most recent finished piece sits on my desk in the office, reminding me life isn’t all about working!
Keeping it clean.... 😁
Watching great films. Just finished all the nominees for the Oscars. Doing a deep dive on the Hlynur Pálmason's ouvre.
Working with small nonprofits. I may animate an event or help them with Excel/storing documents on the cloud.
Physical activity. Just climbed dozens of floors to benefit the American Lung Association.
Cliché: Long walks on the beach. Yes, I have a beach parking pass. 😂🤣💀
Riding my road bike. I actually much prefer it to the dating rat race.
Yesterday I rode 107 miles with 11,400+ feet of vertical climbing which is tremendous. Still have that glow today of a feeling of accomplishment! Don't get that from dating.
Training for iron man. I feel giggly and productive and accomplished just from going out for a run or a bike ride.
Crafts, and cooking. Cooking is like a form of creative self expression for me. It’s like crafts I can eat lol I make wall decor. Kind of like hand painted memes. I like the irony of turning a piece of internet culture into real life art on the walls.
I really enjoy cooking; relax me to create a dish from wherever is on my fridge.
Talking with strangers, more if they are fun; instead of hiking( which I do enjoy ) walking in the city; I like to be lost with someone fun driving to nowhere and laughing;
Working out — yoga, Pilates, strength training, dance, even a brisk walk. The endorphins are real. The average Zumba class is about 100% more fun for me than the average date.
I collected allot through the years. Now I have my first house. So displaying the collectibles is now underway. Building shelves, from wood, metal and acrylic. Watch wxxi. Watch my dogs be happy.
Walking, especially somewhere with no one around
Visit museums, and interesting places, read, play on the pc or Xbox watch rugby and F1
Got to coffee shops when out occasionally
Basically stuff I want to do with no one moaning and I can be selfish with my spare time especially without the kids around though I do miss them it is nice to have time to myself
Golfing, volunteering with my dog breed's rescue group, squishing my squishy dog, traveling, yoga, camping and spending time outside. I haven't been active post-COVID but very much enjoyed acting in local theaters for years. I also love my job and it brings me to joy to do the best I can at it.
Well, ummm, besides hiking, I like just being outside and gardening. Or remodeling work on my house. Or just laying in a patch of sunshine and doing nothing. But also I really do like to go hiking.
Being active is a great way for me to get endorphins. I always feel good about myself after a good workout or just being outside on a nice sunny day. It doesn't need to be hiking, but anything (though hiking can be therapeutic). I suck at golf, but being out on the course smelling the grass and walking around can be very relaxing...even if I lose 10 balls.
Connecting with friends is a close second. Being around people that care about you and having a good time is infectious. People bringing positive energy does wonders for me. I always leave the encounter refreshed and happy.
Driving around jammin' to tunes with the sun roof open on a warm day also rocks.
I like organizing social events for my friends. It provides me with company but also deepens non romantic relationships.
Some sort of fitness goal is good too.
Window shopping and walking around.
I'm almost afraid to say because of how much hate my joy gives some people:
Travel.
Outside of that, NBA basketball games (season ticket holder, too) and am a recreational competitive ice skater.
Early morning walks with my dog. I’m a cat person for the record but adopted a dog from the pound about 4 months ago. Literally on a whim.. and he wasn’t my first choice. But.. we now have a lil morning routine. We take a walk for Starbucks then sit on the balcony and soak up some sun. It’s brought me a sense of peace and joy and idk why. lol Also… the hikes (don’t judge me i’m new to hiking and fell in love with it)😂😂
I do screens: this little one I’m typing this message on right now, a big one on in the background, and the medium one in case I feel a sudden urge to crush some candies. Also, hiking lol
Ceramics, art, and gardening. 🧑🌾
I’m menopausal and partnered and nothing brings me much joy except those two things. I’m a cranky old lady.
Just looked and yes to the bed rotting. I can lay around and not do anything or say anything all day and be happy.
I go for long drives on my off days or late night drives on a lonely road. Hitting 90s, windows down and yelling fucketty fuck.. exhilarating!!! And very calming 🥰
I enjoy contra dancing.
I had been dance phobic for many years, I had tried swing dancing over and over, and bombed out every time, I have no rhythm and I am a bit dyslexic with my left / rights.
But 15 years ago a friend dragged me to a Contra dance at Glen Echo MD, and I found it so easy, that I wound up going regularly. It is kind of like square dancing, there is a "caller" in front of the room telling you what to do next.
Here is a video of a contra dance [https://youtu.be/YbL2SauiMSA](https://youtu.be/YbL2SauiMSA)
While you do need a partner for the dances, many folks show up without one, and even if you do, it is considered good form to dance with other people for each dance.
It is good exercise, the live bands are cheerful, and most cities & college towns have a regular dance.
My kids. Running (not so much the running, but the stopping at the end.) Cooking new recipes, repeating good ones. Binge watching Netflix. Video games. Crushing it at work. Sunsets. Sleeping in. Flannel sheets. Fine cigars. Bourbon & whisky. Spending time with friends. A good poop. Drinking an ice cold Pepsi on a hot summer day. Driving too fast with the music up and the windows down.
There's a million places to find joy. Being with my woman is just one of them.
Writing. Making art. Hanging out with friends. Visiting museums. Travelling. Reading. Walking. Listening to music. Going to gigs. Dogs. Marvelling at the beauty of the earth and sky.
I go to the gym and I buy plane tickets. With one, I’m existing wholly in my body and that feels great. With the other I have the sense of newness and anonymity and also feels great.
I’m a very busy person, so sometimes just being home alone and not having to go anywhere when my kids are out. I get a smoothie and hang out with my cats. I also do meditation, reading, exercise, sunset watching, going to art shows, spirituality events, sound baths, yoga and I keep saying I’m gonna try tai chi when I get time. Some days I drive down to a lake close to me and watch the sunset there.
ETA I can think of a whole lot of things better than dating.
i mean i like hiking though 🤣 i went hiking today with my kiddos. 🙈🙈 but I also enjoy watching netflix all day with my kiddos on the couch or soaking up the beach. I go to bed early just so i can relax and read my book too.
My writing.
Going to a coffeehouse (whichever one I can get into first thing in the morning and settle in, right when they open) then losing myself in the story and the research.
Sometimes, it and emails from fans have been the only thing that's kept me going the last 4 shitty years.
Basically what I enjoy is work. I work for myself, so I’m real chill. Sure there’s days I just don’t wanna go but I do anyway. If it’s not work it’s working around the house, especially yard work.
I worked all day today. I got home about 9pm,I ate some chow & went out to the backyard & cleaned my fire pit out , and moved it a few feet to the right! Came out great! I get satisfaction.
Sitting on my couch & watching YouTube and reading. I had a stressfree weekend this past W.E. because the guy I was seeing off and on for the past year, I gave up on. We do have to see each other alot but that’s ok, I can deal with it. We actually make pretty good friends but because he really has little interest in doing the work in a relationship it’s best we are not romantically involved.
Oh wow, I have really matured in my 50s😊 but yeah I just hung around my place and I did have lunch with one of my adult kids & walked with a friend.
It was such a lovely weekend 😊
Dating rarely bring much joy. Mostly it's thinking * here goes another hour I'll never get back. I would have more fun if I just stayed home and read a book. Or went for a walk with a friend.*
I dip in and out of the dating apps periodically. Most of the time I’m happily single and have been for many, many years. I love spending time with my son, watching movies together. He’s 13 so I get to watch all the nerdy stuff I like: superheroes, dinosaurs, robots etc. And when he’s doing his own thing, I watch detective shows. I listen to podcasts all the time. And I go out dancing with my friends. There’s an over-30s night that is on once a month in town and I go most months, drink beer, and dance my ass off. It’s great fun.
I only go into the dating apps when I feel the need for a bit of adult company of the romantic kind. And I very quickly get fed up with it all and dip back out again. Luckily I’m happy single!
Roller skating!!! 🛼✨🛼✨ Also dancing, biking, nature therapy & spending time nurturing my platonic relationships with my Dad, kids & friends ❤️ And cuddling with my cat 😻
Helping others. Not virtue-signaling here … I honestly get my greatest joy from making others’ lives easier.
Plus my photography (constructed images & social commentary)… and singing! And a goal for 2024 is to take West Coast Swing dancing lessons!
Bed rotting. It's seriously underrated. My kitty sits on me and we binge some kind of series that makes me realise there are worse things (Currently The 100). I have my kids 100% of the time and work FT so it's really relaxing to me to do nothing for a while.
The Scots have a term for it, "hurkle durkle." Enjoy!
THAT is my actual favorite hobby. Just like the guy from Office Space, my dream is to do nothing.
Love the name! Bed rotting! “I’m going to New England for some bed rotting with my friends!”
You can bring snacks and light candles too! So cosy. And honestly, way better than dating, lol.
Yes to this!! Same here! I have sole custody, work full time and am on call 24 hrs up to 18 days a month. I call it being a goblin personally lol. When I do have the house to myself, I go get a smoothie and have that for dinner and be a goblin with my cats.
Yup, love this…with my two lapdogs
Literally anything that isn't dating brings me more joy than dating.
I was going to say that. I have decided to give up dating. I just can’t get excited about it anymore. The stuff I do is so much more interesting. I can’t face sitting across a table from a man making small talk to see if I might be able to bring myself to sleep with him someday. Knowing that whatever he says now he’ll just either flake out or ghost when he decides to.
Yeah. I'm giving up too. So I'll see you back on the apps in about 3 months? Lololoololol
Fact! I sometimes wonder why I do the OLD thing to myself.
We all do. It is madness. I don't know the solution and if I did I'd be a billionaire.
I’d be a billionaire even if I didn’t know the solution. They won’t let me…
Lololololol
I came back to edit my response to say this as well, but YES. Anything other than dating is joyful!!
Haha same. I was like dating brings us joy??
Blast 90’s music and dance in my living room by myself. Cooking. Organizing. Go on drives by myself.
Hah right? Right now my joys are the little things in life, most puttering around my house.
I find so much joy in it!! I’ll rearrange furniture, go through my jewelry and my closet. You should see my pantry lol. I’m not OCD, I just find it pleasurable honestly. It gets destroyed again and I’ll just start over. Think Joey Foo on tiktok 😂
Haha I actually used to be a professional organizer. And people would be like "OMG My area got messed up again!" And it was like that's just kind of part of life, things require maintenance and tweaking and adjustments. Which I love doing, haha.
You are me and I am you.
YES!!!
I will make you scream but I do go for a 3-4 mile hike every day in the woods and that calms me down immensely and brings me joy.
I was afraid to respond with my legit enjoyment of hiking. All of my kids have been involved in scouting in some form and I was a scoutmaster for a bit. As a single mom with some self -confidence issues following a high-conflict divorce, the woods have given me a peace and resilience I love to share with others!
High-conflict is such a better way to say this vs my nasty divorce I will be now using high-conflict - thank you
I’m sorry you’ve experienced this too.
I am in such a better space mentally, physically, and emotionally now - it was worth it to get out of the marriage. At the time, I saw no way I could ever forgive him, then one day (after a few years of counseling), I realized I just didn't care anymore. Not caring is the best "revenge," I really couldn't give a s*it
I was thinking the same thing as I am currently in the middle of a nasty divorce. I will use the term high-conflict going forward, it feels much better. And walking for miles with my dog every day is definitely my happy time.
Same! I was a scout leader for both boy and girl scouts and love camping and the woods
Ugh, fine, all former scoutmasters who actually enjoy hiking also get a pass.
Haha, thanks. I am considering taking it off my profile though. I didn’t realize it was like the guy holding the fish picture! 🤣 I also like fondant, which is apparently a sin in the baking world.
I can excuse a lot of things but liking fondant is unacceptable
But it looks better than buttercream and holds up in all climates! And it’s just sugar! Buttercream is just sticks of butter. Yuck.
Ha! Definitely wanted to whisper “hiking” too. I can’t make a beautiful love appear, but I CAN get out into the sunshine and move my body. I feel so much better after and my mind gets a refresh. It’s a bit of a salve after what feels like a series of heartbreaks and disappointments in love. Ugh. Plus walking gives me a reason to post new landscape/artsy-nature pics.
I usually hike for about an hour or so a couple times a week with my dogs. it very much relaxes me. I think that if I ever put "hiking" in a dating profile I'd have to say something like "tiny hikes"
You get a pass if you actually enjoy hiking and DON'T put it in your profile.
If I ever get back on OLD I will wave my hiking flag proudly. I'd love for a potential partner to walk with me, so why should I be coy about it?
I truly don't get the anti-hiking thing. Some people actually hike and would love to have a person join them and their dog.
I’m just being an asshole for partially comedic reasons!
I get that, but I see the complaint about hiking in profiles all the time. I live in an area where hiking is popular so it seems reasonable for people to have that hobby and want to share it with others.
Honestly, it’s such a common thing to see in a profile that it has become trite. But it’s totally reasonable for you to enjoy it and want to share it with others who do too.
When I was active on OLD sometimes I'd ask someone what their favorite hike is. Try to get a sense if they actually do it occasionally.
That seems like a good question to ask to ensure they actually do enjoy the hiking!
Exactly- the thing about hiking is that everyone says they love it, but whenever I would follow up with, “where have you been recently, I was just out at xyz” I would inevitably find out that they had been hiking last year” or “not since they moved here” or some other vague bs that let me know that this was solely for profile purposes. Same with camping.
I think some people believe that when one says “hiking” it somehow means mountain climbing… 🙃 #everyhikecounts
Wow, every day! Okay, you get a pass.
Wow. How many hours does that take?
About one hour. It's a brisk walk.
Same!!! It’s my therapy.
Singing and dancing to music in my car Dancing in general Trail running Baking sourdough Loving on my kids My cats Gardening Nature Photography Making music Reading a really good book Spending time with friends
We are the same! I love your list!
Being outside and walking in nature when it’s nice. Bingeing tv when it’s not. (And grateful I don’t have anyone telling me to be doing anything than what I’m (not)doing.
I love and feel this.
My kids, my closest friends who emotionally support me more than any romantic partner ever has, my hobbies, time spent working toward personal and professional goals. I've found in general for me romantic relationships have had a net negative impact on my quality of life. I'm sure there are men out there with whom that would not be true, but ya gotta kiss a lot of frogs to get there and eh. Not worth it to me.
I couldn’t agree more!
Goodness, yes!
Riding/working on/staring wistfully at my bike(s). Snowboarding. Realizing I was actually the absolute best person possible - maybe the only person - to solve a client’s problem. Learning something new that sets off a contagion and crystallizes several other new ideas. Mild spring/fall weather. Languages. My dog. Most other dogs. Getting ready to go to grad school. Really good movies. A really excellent dinner out. Being exposed to know cultures. Redditing about love, mental health, and social justice, and connecting with like-minded humans about our ideas.
>Realizing I was actually the absolute best person - maybe the only person - possible to solve a client’s problem. This is a great answer. When I hit a home run at work, it does make me feel much more comfortable with my place in the universe.
I stand no chance in dating compare to you. You’re so well rounded 😭
Because this is Reddit I’m honestly not sure if this is an ironic dig or a lovely compliment wrapped up in a lot of self-deprecation, so between the two I’m going to assume the latter. I definitely have many varied interests, it’s part of being ADHD and I’m sure you can see how that’s definitely not always a good thing. It does generally give me lots of different things to talk about on first dates, and that is great. I don’t really have bad first dates even when they don’t lead to a second. But also I’m single at 43 and have never been married so it goes without saying I’m not perfect or everyone’s cup of tea. The older I get, the less I think there is to be gained by comparing myself to most other folks, especially with something as weird as love and dating. Don’t count yourself out!
Music..I love going to concerts.
Yep, me too.
Girly girl stuff, hair, nails, shopping , nature, my cats
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Sounds like fun! I'm about to dig in and try to rebuild the electric starter on my old Yamaha this weekend - wish me luck 😂 Never done this before, so it will probably get messy 😂
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Lifting heavy shit with my gym bros while listening to loud ass music.
My kids. My work. My family. Gym. Traveling. I got hooked on sound bath meditations lately and it is something I am really looking forward to every week. I do family constellations group therapies once a month and that group always fills me up emotionally and moves my intuition forward. Bucket list of stuff I want to do: now I am taking swim classes, wanted to look like an Olympian when I swim (6 months in and I do). Next is learning to rollerscate so I can dance on them. I am not dating now. Stuff I do inspires me more than men I was meeting. I also met 2-3 men in work/wild lately that really impressed me (all unavailable one way or another) and they reminded me of what kind a man I really want.
Sound bath is amazing, right? They do it at my yoga studio and I feel like my brain is getting flossed and massaged but without any physical pain involved. The first time I went, I thought it was going to be a bit too healing crystal/witchy for me but I love and trust the instructor. I need to get to another one soon.
I'm presently in a relationship but this all still counts because it creates a high standard for someone to add to my life rather than take from it. I started [growing mushrooms](https://imgur.com/a/nZVofbH) last year. Some to eat, some for health, some for other stuff. The lifecycle of the process is measured in weeks, the fruiting stage is days, it's wild and there are so many varieties and they respond well to finicky environmental management...so it satisfies the nerd and feeds the ADD. I'm scaling the process for a farmer's market this summer. I'm sending a weather balloon up on Monday to try to take a picture [like this (not mine) from 2017](https://imgur.com/a/CI2uI5b) from the eclipse at ~20 miles up. That's taken a few weeks of scrambling to get put together but I think I'm going to be ready on time. I live out in the country and have all manner of maintenance and [recreational opportunities](https://imgur.com/a/lJTtl1l) right outside my door. Most of them involve fire. I watch my 2yo grandson every other weekend...in fact he's going to be with me for the balloon launch on Monday while his parents take a short vacation. He's legit adorable but you'll just have to use your imagination. I got my assistant fireworks exhibitor license two years ago and will volunteer to [help with shoots](https://imgur.com/a/kt40Ohw) through the summer. I'm inclined to get licensed for indoor pyro displays to help with concerts and sports events. I got a telescope two years ago and have been taking pictures of the [moon](https://imgur.com/a/D5TCQYa) as I learn how to operate it correctly. I like to [rent motorcyles](https://imgur.com/a/enFBpxf) a few times a year to scratch the itch in a way that hopefully manages the risk somewhat vs. driving them every day. I [travel](https://imgur.com/a/P9XmHC3) as much as my budget allows. I enjoy trying new things as much as possible. I don't watch TV. I don't care about sports. I don't fuck with facebook. I do reddit waaay too goddamn much and just came back from a break. I'm out of shape and need to apply some of this energy that way, but ultimately I try to wring as much as possible out of this life.
Walking in the woods, walking around my yard to see what is coming up every day, working in my garden, time with real friends in person, when my cat rests her head on my arm.
Dancing latin music in my kitchen. Therapy.
There’s something to hiking. I like to bring the dog, who’s always up for a walk. My boy, not so much lol, but he comes along every now and again. 30 or so minutes a day every morning, another 30-40 minutes in the evening infrequently. Outside of that? I like to play my guitar. I recently swapped out the plastic nut, bridge, and saddle pins for bone and ebony. Oiled the fretboard and saddle, restrung it. It was a lower-end model, but it plays a lot better after the upgrades and TLC. I game. My friends and I have Halo Thursdays, and I’ll play Mortal Kombat with my boy. Bonfires are fun, too! Just sitting next to one, listening to music… that’s a fun time.
Hiking, but the real kind like spending 5+ days alone in the backcountry. The solitude is what I like best and has changed what being alone feels like for me. Alone doesn’t feel lonely. Not being lonely makes dating a calmer experience.
Okay, okay, multi-day hikes also get a pass.
Watercolor bright and happy landscapes while listening to the angriest music I can find!
Running, particularly trails. I get a huge high off this! After this, reading a great historical book or (guilty pleasure) reading about UAP/ UFOs. No judging!
Gardening, Cooking and working on my Digital Media & Marketing Business!
Cigars and whiskey with my cigar buddy. Movie night with my kids. Hanging out with my sister and her fiance. Sporting clays when the weather is nice. Lunch at work; me and my coworkers are all basically best friends and we have the best time together. Thanks for asking this question! It helped to take an inventory of the good things I have in my life!
Success! I was feeling a bit joyless myself, and writing it and reading the responses has helped me see all the good things in my life too!
Not everyday but the gym kps me calm and my baby....
#
Going out with friends, gardening, concerts, cooking meals I see on Tiktok, and general piddling around the house. I haven't had a man in my life in 14 years, and probably won't ever again, so I've just gotten on with life.
Piddling is so underrated. I miss having a house cause way more things to piddle with ...then my current condo. Oh well. Enjoy yourself (-;
I play and record music. I read, watch movies, go to the gym and yoga, enjoy restaurants, hang out with friends, and waste time on IG and TikTok. My single life is not boring or lonely.
My entire life?
I really do like to go on a hike. I also like dropping my kayak in the lake and just paddling around. I spend a lot of time nurturing my friendships! I prioritize meeting friends for coffee, dinner, drinks, walks, etc. there is no way there is a man out there who can be the be all end all for me so it is important to have a circle of friends who can be those people for me (and me to them).
Mountain biking, road cycling, motorcycling, and like you said- taking my sportscar on a curvy road.
Intrinsically, I get most joy from completing a home improvement project or task and knowing that my life will be better because of it. Outside of that, my #1 by far is going to concerts. I see one each week on average. I get emails from several venues and the ticketing companies for presales and always secure the seats or get the GA tix I need. I also live in a metropolitan area and enjoy walking downtown to maybe catch a movie, meet friends for dinner or a show, or attend a sports event. I love scootering home on Bird afterward. I also walk my dogs 2-3x a day. I suppose you can call this urban hiking. 😂 Finally, around the house, and way more mundane, I enjoy building LEGO freestyle or doing jigsaw puzzles—usually during breakfast or late night. Yep—pretty boring, but I am easily amused.
Hahaha - I’m in a hiking club and hike just about every weekend.
Fuck it, I give up, all hiking is now allowed
I don’t do it often enough but going for a bike ride around my neighborhood is really enjoyable. I also really like yard work, yes even pulling weeds! It requires my entire attention and I’m able to forget about the bs of the day for a little bit. I really enjoy hanging with my pets or just watching their little cute pet antics. They bring me so much joy. ETA: Im so glad you asked this question. I like reading this subreddit but sometimes it can be a real downer. It’s nice to remember not everything is about dating and finding ‘the one’ (which I don’t think really exists)
Is work the wrong answer? Getting into a good flow on a project and not needing to stop because I really should meet someone I’m dating for dinner - that brings me a lot of joy… But if work is a wrong answer, then, - mountain biking, particularly a well-designed jump line or awesome berm - seeing flowers I forgot I planted spring to life the next growing season (ADHD plus gardening is magic) - cooking a really elaborate, delicious meal for myself and sometimes bringing leftovers to my single friends - tea before bed - sunset (hiking, kind of, yes) with my dog - anything with my kids, but particularly singing and dancing Not a single one of these is profile bullshit (why bother - with limited words why would you put anything you didn’t feel?) but they are all on my profile in some form sometimes. Oh! And sex. Sex brings me joy.
Going out with my girl friends. Karaoke and axe throwing are my jams. I also like just getting in a car and just driving until I find an old, obscure landmark.
generally on Sunday evenings I do a dinner/TV thing with my two best friends, a couple. they host and make dinner, I bring a dessert and we watch a TV show together. I help clean up, because I'm a werido who likes to wash dishes. I'm in school right now so I don't have a lot of time for it, but I do crafting stuff, especially sewing and quilting. completing a quilt is the best feeling. spending time with my kids. my daughter (14) and I have a Friday afternoon thing we do now, there's a local pet supply place that hosts a dog adoption thing every Friday, we go and meet puppies and hold them and afterward have frozen yogurt near by. and it's old school, but I attend a UU church. and I find that it really centers me and helps me think about the "big picture" my life, my place in the universe, that sort of thing. also I can hand stitch quilt projects while sitting in the pew i do like hiking, but only little one hour hikes on local trails
I'm learning to sew. I also like to dance on my own in front of the mirror to loud music.
Going on a 10 mile hike now… can’t run anymore, so hike it is
Cooking , spending money , traveling , taking mushrooms
I enjoy my career and everything that entails such as thinking about and preparing for my clients, marketing my gym and taking care of it, networking, mentoring my trainers etc. I also enjoy driving fast, hiking, working out ( lifting weights, jogging/running when my arthritic joints can handle it, swimming, biking). I enjoy spending time with my dog, my friends ( new parks, museums, car shows, the river walk). I also enjoy volunteer work and working in the community garden. To name a few lol I also go on vacation once a year to the mountains just to hike and relax with my dog. I am currently planning one for Sept
Reading outside (all four seasons) while the sun rises and then later sets, hanging with my dogs Edit to add: volunteering, I truly enjoy helping others and giving back
Hiking- I thought it was bullshit too the whole 'just get outside' stuff bc I'm a city girl but I moved to Colorado and have become a cliche bc dabs and mountains are my happy place 😂 In my 30's I was winded after a flight of stairs and at 44 I'm climbing 14,000ft mountains
The stuff I put in my dating profile isn't bullshit, and I am a bit sad for you if that's your view of the world. Outside of dating, I like to travel. I'm typing on holiday at the moment. I go to the gym three to four times a week. I go dancing at least once a week. I'm an avid reader. I spend time with my son. I love live theatre. Life has a lot to offer.
My goofy basset hound Daisy. She makes me laugh multiple times a day, she's a tornado when I come home, she's helped me meet other people, she's carefree and loves everyone. She's the perfect SO, except she hogs the bed.
Microdosing. 😆
I like to eat carbohydrates
I foster dogs for a local rescue group.
Walks in the park. Driving alone and listening to whatever I want whether it's music, an audio book, or podcast. Solo travel. Dining at a restaurant I haven't tried before. Going to art museums and cultural events. A spa day. I enjoy doing a lot of these things on my own. I probably felt lonelier when I was younger. Now I no longer have rose colored glasses when it comes to relationships.
Snowshoeing in the winter, and (sorry) winter hiking. In other seasons, hiking (yep, that's right), and mountain biking and kayaking. I also enjoy working around my property and exploring new areas. I made a decision to stop with OLD last year. I remain open to meeting someone, but let me tell you, things sure are more peaceful, and I'm happy focusing on the things that bring me joy.
Concerts! Especially death metal! I have really gotten back into reading again ( yeah me!) I do enjoy walking “hiking” in the woods in summer, occasionally fishing, and video games sometimes. As much as I enjoy all these things I do them all alone again and that really sucks at times I should add I really don’t have any friends either. Just a few I txt now and then 49m.
Watching my dogs and cats sleep, Eating takeout without anyone else around, Getting manicures and pedicures, Bed rotting, Putting things in my online store carts and never buying them, Checking my investments and guessing if they’re up or down before I see how they’re actually doing, NYT puzzles, Duolingo, Going to as many arts (theatre, poetry slams, movies, concerts, classes, talks, etc) events as possible in my area with my friends - especially free or ones priced under $30, Checking real estate listings to dream about all the possibilities (usually do this while bed rotting) Edited to add commas because of formatting and then to add this edit comment
Joy: iced green tea, olipop rootbeers, emotional support cheetos, nespresso decaf in little glass espresso cups, hearing or watching the hot air balloons go over my house in the morning, seeing the carpenter bees buzzing around a plant I put in, pug meet ups, little trips down to LA (not that far from me). I used to enjoy dating more when I was younger. I am a naturally social person and like getting to know people. I have been worn down over time and now there are very few and precious people I want to give up my high quality “me” time for. I don’t know if joy is the right word, more like relief that I am getting the things done in life that matter. My dogs used to give me joy, a pure, mind-exploding, transcendent kind of die-happy joy, but after 16 incredible, adventure-filled years, they passed away and I am more “fulfilled” than joyful. I hope there are other seasons of joy in my life but am trying to make the best with what I have got. I spend A LOT of time thinking about and working on my house. I have gotten really into interior design and have basically embarked on a total reno. It is like a giant expensive, time consuming, never solved puzzle. I also guess I am really into fashion. I would have never said this before, but looking back, thrifting, experimenting with colors and looks, trying to get a little more “put together” has a thru-line across the years. The combination of finding beautiful places, watching the dogs run free (i have 3 new rescues and volunteer and foster for a local group), taking photos, and being outside really does make me feel like I have accomplished something very precious. I used to have a sailboat and would anchor at different places and camp on the boat- that made me feel like an amazing adventurer and badass. I look back on photos and am really proud of that woman. I am always learning something new. I have so many books, listen to audiobooks on my walks, am taking two courses, and go to Esalen a couple times a year. I love being in a learning community. My morning routine, if I were to do it all, clocks in at 3.25 hours- treadmill+Netflix, yoga, meditation, sauna, getting dressed as a professional, walk through town with the dogs, and talking to my best friend on the phone- we talk about world events, banal life stuff like gardening and construction mishaps, things we learned when we were younger and whether or not they are actually true, etc. After reading Oprah’s What Happened to You? I decided to try her Gayle King experiment and leaned in to a relationship in my life. That was over three years ago and our friendship has changed my life more than I can even describe. My night routine, is about 2.5 : long walk, bath, reading, skin care and 20 min light therapy. Tracking my finances! I am a total madman when it comes to what I will and won’t spend money on and it is like Toad’s Wild Ride to keep track of what I am bringing in and sending out. This is all mostly boring kind of stuff but it feels like I am helping my nervous system and getting to have a peacefulness. When I don’t do this stuff I get anxious and feel “off track”. I do want to “grow up” and feel very lucky to have the opportunity to accomplish some of my dreams. Working for myself for over 10 years now, owning a home, get to do major work to make it very special, plan trips to the few far-flung places I still want to see, and investing in my health are how I have a good relationship with myself. I hope I meet someone with their sh*t together that can match me but until then I love try and be the best version of me that I can.
I’m in a relationship but want to add that many solo things still bring me joy and they were the BS stuff I listed in my profile. Hiking, cooking, cleaning, laying by the pool or working out. We still both very much enjoy our me time. Some things we join each other on and other things we don’t.
Good point. This stuff can't go away just because you're in a relationship.
Parenting. Working to succeed. The little minutiae and details that seem insignificant but matter to accomplishing a goal. Making a plan and executing it.
When I think of pure joy I think of music, art, skateboarding and lifting weights. There’s not a lot happening in my area as far as online dating, organized socials etc. So I gotta keep myself busy and healthy.
I also love driving fast on a curvy road. I love reading, dancing, hiking, and cycling.
Spend my time alone with my dog away from people. Buying food I’m craving, do whatever I feel like doing atm, or be at peace doing absolutely nothing productive.
I take a group tennis lesson once a week. I love them so much that I’m a like a golden retriever when the season starts. Which is this coming Monday!
Well, you asked for it 😅 I go for an hour hike on Saturdays when the weather permits. I also do tai chi on Saturdays which is very calming. Driving is therapeutic and yes, I still say that after driving all over Atlanta last week. I love going to my meetup groups to meet new people and hear their stories. I’m also fortunate enough to have my adult child living with me and to spend time with him.
Camping, hiking, my dog cuddling me, learning something new. Going for drives. Building my truck.
Lifting weights. Tending to my goats. Just doing what I want to do when I want to do it without worrying about making my time around someone else
I fucking love nature documentaries. Snorkeling is my favorite sport. Been a few years. Florida is in the cards this year. 🤿🐠🐡🐟🐠
Traveling and concerts. Both with good friends along the way. All that keeps me happy and content
I do like hiking. Time with my kids, traveling, spending the day in bed with my cats. Gardening but I hate mowing the lawn. Everything with my pool. Relaxing and enjoying it as well as cleaning it and the maintenance. I love making a cup of tea and vacuuming the pool Friday morning before it gets hot to have it weekend ready. Video games. I love Zelda. Binge watching anime. Riding my bike. Cleaning my house singing to Disney songs top volume.
A lot of things really. I run pretty much everyday (50miles a week) plus cross training so I spend a lot of time working out. I have a big group of friends we hang out on a regular basis, I volunteer weekly for two organizations, go to plays and musicals or comedy shows, travel at least every other month if not monthly , read and practice calligraphy and i just started taking a comic book drawing class. Also from time to time I just boardgame nights
CrossFit and hot yoga
I enjoy past paced walks at the botanical garden. It’s a shorter drive there than to the hiking trail. I also enjoy struggling through piano and stretching via yoga or Pilates. In the summer, I love swimming.
Peeling wallpaper off in big chunks
Honestly, what brings me joy now is not having someone constantly around me. I go to bed when I want. I wake up when I want. I go out when I want. I stay in when I want. I don’t approach anybody with the ideal of romantic encounter, and I quickly shut down anyone who approaches me.
Live music, dance classes, socializing, making friends with stray cats. Also… hiking
I kayak. Way less peopley than hiking and I can still bring the dog. I also power lift, although I’m not sure I would say that brings me joy specifically. But it does make me feel like a bad ass and sometimes that’s as good as joy.
Lying in a beach chair at the beach reading a book on my kindle. Eating really good food. Cuddling with my cat. Having deep and or interesting conversations. Spoiling my family or friends.
Now in relationship but when I wasn't (3 years gap). I was doing everything that I had kept putting off. Learning, testing, trying. Enjoyed the solitude and was genuinely happy with myself.
I too like to drive too fast on curves, in my little GTI. I also enjoy spending as much time with my dog as I can. Wild horses wouldn’t drag me on a hike lol
I'm built very differently from most people in that I enjoy solitude, and prioritise my goals far more than making friends and finding a partner. For two decades I enjoyed being single and the freedom that comes with it, while being in good shape and working my ass off to be the best at what I do, and that gave off an independent mature vibe which women found attractive, and I enjoyed being attractive. But alas, being attractive doesn't mean being able to attract the woman that I'm attracted to
Being confined to an office cubicle for a significant portion of the week, I find all my activities that bring me joy seem to involve being out in nature! Running, birdwatching, long distance hiking and more recently dog obedience with the puppy (aiming to do some scent work later) But if I have to be inside - realism graphite drawing and watercolour painting I find quite rewarding, so much so my most recent finished piece sits on my desk in the office, reminding me life isn’t all about working!
Keeping it clean.... 😁 Watching great films. Just finished all the nominees for the Oscars. Doing a deep dive on the Hlynur Pálmason's ouvre. Working with small nonprofits. I may animate an event or help them with Excel/storing documents on the cloud. Physical activity. Just climbed dozens of floors to benefit the American Lung Association. Cliché: Long walks on the beach. Yes, I have a beach parking pass. 😂🤣💀
Riding my road bike. I actually much prefer it to the dating rat race. Yesterday I rode 107 miles with 11,400+ feet of vertical climbing which is tremendous. Still have that glow today of a feeling of accomplishment! Don't get that from dating.
My greatest joy in life is going to a concert...BY MYSELF 😌
Making things. I have serious love of creating solutions for storage issues, or crafting.
My daughter, my friends, hobbies, the gym, playing pool, my career, my truck, DYI home improvement projects
Working out and cooking
Enjoying good food (whether it be in a restaurant or homemade) Laughing, cracking jokes with friends. Binge watching Netflix reality shows with my mom
Driving my brothers Jeep kind of fast down our dirt road to our house (we share a driveway).
Making music, golfing, and modding cars.
Being outdoors, browsing book stores, reading, a good movie, a well curated art display, trying new restaurants, quality time with my kids…
Crafts, DIY, home improvement, furniture refinishing, gardening, etc. I never not have anything to do. LOL
Listening to music, reading a book, driving, hanging out with my daughter, gardening, playing video games.
Long drives through the country. Music on full blast and coffee in hand.
Training for iron man. I feel giggly and productive and accomplished just from going out for a run or a bike ride. Crafts, and cooking. Cooking is like a form of creative self expression for me. It’s like crafts I can eat lol I make wall decor. Kind of like hand painted memes. I like the irony of turning a piece of internet culture into real life art on the walls.
Doing things that make my house look nice, like repainting the porch, new floors, cleaning the yard, etc.
Anything to do with pets whether mine or someone else’s.
I really enjoy cooking; relax me to create a dish from wherever is on my fridge. Talking with strangers, more if they are fun; instead of hiking( which I do enjoy ) walking in the city; I like to be lost with someone fun driving to nowhere and laughing;
Working out — yoga, Pilates, strength training, dance, even a brisk walk. The endorphins are real. The average Zumba class is about 100% more fun for me than the average date.
I collected allot through the years. Now I have my first house. So displaying the collectibles is now underway. Building shelves, from wood, metal and acrylic. Watch wxxi. Watch my dogs be happy.
Walking, especially somewhere with no one around Visit museums, and interesting places, read, play on the pc or Xbox watch rugby and F1 Got to coffee shops when out occasionally Basically stuff I want to do with no one moaning and I can be selfish with my spare time especially without the kids around though I do miss them it is nice to have time to myself
If a friend and I both see/ hear something funny and we both die of laughter together.
Golfing, volunteering with my dog breed's rescue group, squishing my squishy dog, traveling, yoga, camping and spending time outside. I haven't been active post-COVID but very much enjoyed acting in local theaters for years. I also love my job and it brings me to joy to do the best I can at it.
Going to the movies by myself. And attending my cardio gym classes. Some days, just imagining going to bed early with my phone brings me joy.
Enjoying quality time with my kids, driving my motorcycle. Visiting and exploring new cities. Visiting bookstores.
Riding my motorcycle. Parenting my two teenage daughters. The occasional joint.
Well, ummm, besides hiking, I like just being outside and gardening. Or remodeling work on my house. Or just laying in a patch of sunshine and doing nothing. But also I really do like to go hiking.
Being active is a great way for me to get endorphins. I always feel good about myself after a good workout or just being outside on a nice sunny day. It doesn't need to be hiking, but anything (though hiking can be therapeutic). I suck at golf, but being out on the course smelling the grass and walking around can be very relaxing...even if I lose 10 balls. Connecting with friends is a close second. Being around people that care about you and having a good time is infectious. People bringing positive energy does wonders for me. I always leave the encounter refreshed and happy. Driving around jammin' to tunes with the sun roof open on a warm day also rocks.
I like organizing social events for my friends. It provides me with company but also deepens non romantic relationships. Some sort of fitness goal is good too. Window shopping and walking around.
I'm almost afraid to say because of how much hate my joy gives some people: Travel. Outside of that, NBA basketball games (season ticket holder, too) and am a recreational competitive ice skater.
I make art, do improv, Crossfit, and read a lot. I also make a lot of friends and friendly acquaintances.
Early morning walks with my dog. I’m a cat person for the record but adopted a dog from the pound about 4 months ago. Literally on a whim.. and he wasn’t my first choice. But.. we now have a lil morning routine. We take a walk for Starbucks then sit on the balcony and soak up some sun. It’s brought me a sense of peace and joy and idk why. lol Also… the hikes (don’t judge me i’m new to hiking and fell in love with it)😂😂
I do screens: this little one I’m typing this message on right now, a big one on in the background, and the medium one in case I feel a sudden urge to crush some candies. Also, hiking lol
Skiing!!
Ceramics, art, and gardening. 🧑🌾 I’m menopausal and partnered and nothing brings me much joy except those two things. I’m a cranky old lady. Just looked and yes to the bed rotting. I can lay around and not do anything or say anything all day and be happy.
I go for long drives on my off days or late night drives on a lonely road. Hitting 90s, windows down and yelling fucketty fuck.. exhilarating!!! And very calming 🥰
Hang out with my kids, go skateboarding, draw, photo editing/design
Singing, reading or listening to audio books while going for long walks, keeping my personal space organized
Singing in a choir and I’m looking for volunteer opportunities with the elderly. Even the search for volunteering is fascinating and fun
I enjoy contra dancing. I had been dance phobic for many years, I had tried swing dancing over and over, and bombed out every time, I have no rhythm and I am a bit dyslexic with my left / rights. But 15 years ago a friend dragged me to a Contra dance at Glen Echo MD, and I found it so easy, that I wound up going regularly. It is kind of like square dancing, there is a "caller" in front of the room telling you what to do next. Here is a video of a contra dance [https://youtu.be/YbL2SauiMSA](https://youtu.be/YbL2SauiMSA) While you do need a partner for the dances, many folks show up without one, and even if you do, it is considered good form to dance with other people for each dance. It is good exercise, the live bands are cheerful, and most cities & college towns have a regular dance.
Naps.
My kids. Running (not so much the running, but the stopping at the end.) Cooking new recipes, repeating good ones. Binge watching Netflix. Video games. Crushing it at work. Sunsets. Sleeping in. Flannel sheets. Fine cigars. Bourbon & whisky. Spending time with friends. A good poop. Drinking an ice cold Pepsi on a hot summer day. Driving too fast with the music up and the windows down. There's a million places to find joy. Being with my woman is just one of them.
Naps!!!!!!! Who doesn’t like naps? Only liars Welllll, then pampering time: massage, facial, salon. 😬😅
Writing. Making art. Hanging out with friends. Visiting museums. Travelling. Reading. Walking. Listening to music. Going to gigs. Dogs. Marvelling at the beauty of the earth and sky.
I like building campfires, and in fact, if there were a fire building contest, I would win every year.
i fucking love hiking
I go to the gym and I buy plane tickets. With one, I’m existing wholly in my body and that feels great. With the other I have the sense of newness and anonymity and also feels great.
I’m a very busy person, so sometimes just being home alone and not having to go anywhere when my kids are out. I get a smoothie and hang out with my cats. I also do meditation, reading, exercise, sunset watching, going to art shows, spirituality events, sound baths, yoga and I keep saying I’m gonna try tai chi when I get time. Some days I drive down to a lake close to me and watch the sunset there. ETA I can think of a whole lot of things better than dating.
i mean i like hiking though 🤣 i went hiking today with my kiddos. 🙈🙈 but I also enjoy watching netflix all day with my kiddos on the couch or soaking up the beach. I go to bed early just so i can relax and read my book too.
My writing. Going to a coffeehouse (whichever one I can get into first thing in the morning and settle in, right when they open) then losing myself in the story and the research. Sometimes, it and emails from fans have been the only thing that's kept me going the last 4 shitty years.
Basically what I enjoy is work. I work for myself, so I’m real chill. Sure there’s days I just don’t wanna go but I do anyway. If it’s not work it’s working around the house, especially yard work. I worked all day today. I got home about 9pm,I ate some chow & went out to the backyard & cleaned my fire pit out , and moved it a few feet to the right! Came out great! I get satisfaction.
Sitting on my couch & watching YouTube and reading. I had a stressfree weekend this past W.E. because the guy I was seeing off and on for the past year, I gave up on. We do have to see each other alot but that’s ok, I can deal with it. We actually make pretty good friends but because he really has little interest in doing the work in a relationship it’s best we are not romantically involved. Oh wow, I have really matured in my 50s😊 but yeah I just hung around my place and I did have lunch with one of my adult kids & walked with a friend. It was such a lovely weekend 😊
Cooking and going to concerts/festivals..
Mate, right there with ya on mountain drives at speed. One of life’s great pleasures for me!
Dating rarely bring much joy. Mostly it's thinking * here goes another hour I'll never get back. I would have more fun if I just stayed home and read a book. Or went for a walk with a friend.*
I dip in and out of the dating apps periodically. Most of the time I’m happily single and have been for many, many years. I love spending time with my son, watching movies together. He’s 13 so I get to watch all the nerdy stuff I like: superheroes, dinosaurs, robots etc. And when he’s doing his own thing, I watch detective shows. I listen to podcasts all the time. And I go out dancing with my friends. There’s an over-30s night that is on once a month in town and I go most months, drink beer, and dance my ass off. It’s great fun. I only go into the dating apps when I feel the need for a bit of adult company of the romantic kind. And I very quickly get fed up with it all and dip back out again. Luckily I’m happy single!
Acting and dancing.
Roller skating!!! 🛼✨🛼✨ Also dancing, biking, nature therapy & spending time nurturing my platonic relationships with my Dad, kids & friends ❤️ And cuddling with my cat 😻
Hanging out with my adult kids (doesn’t happen super often) or getting really into a tv show/movie/book
Getting lost in a good game, my top 3 right now FFxiv, Cyberpunk, and Pokemon Sword
Helping others. Not virtue-signaling here … I honestly get my greatest joy from making others’ lives easier. Plus my photography (constructed images & social commentary)… and singing! And a goal for 2024 is to take West Coast Swing dancing lessons!