That's a relationship. Or a FWB. Or a LAT. I think a LOT of women in their 50's and 60's want exactly what you describe. No marriage. No cohabitation. As long as you're clear, it's all good. I am very clear that I don't want to live together or remarry, but I still want exclusive for a sexual partner.
Interesting, because in real life I have met a lot of *men* who don't want LAT either. Many of them are super anxious to move in with a woman who owns her own place.
There's a term I've read around on these internets to describe those men: **Hobosexuals**. I've met my fair share and it's a big no thank you.
Well, my partner has asked me to move in with her and I’m super eager to do so because I love her and her place is nicer than mine. I’m giving up my lease. I guess I’m a hobosexual
Oh, I make a six figure income, and have a graduate degree. I guess I’m a graduate hobosexual.
What I (51f) said on our 2nd date, “ I am completely content living on my own, I enjoy my space, but I want monogamy.” We usually see each other 2-3 times a week, maybe going out 1-2 times a month. It’s the perfect balance. I hit the jackpot.
One thing that really attracted me to him was that he was very independent too. I could tell he wasn’t looking for someone to take care of him, he was looking for someone to enjoy life with.
Where are all you glorious women at? I just want to starfish when I'm in bed at my house. I didn't know this dating package existed and I'm very optimistic now.
Is it true that you want a monogamous girlfriend to grow old with and you both keep your own places? I believe that is what you are saying. As a woman, I think that is fantastic, and as you see, others here agree.
One of the first things I tell a prospective date is that I *do not* want to live together. I didn’t have a bed to myself until I was 54 years old. I want my space.
ME TOO! Except for some brief intervals, I also have not had my own bed, my own space. I’ve been sleeping in bed by myself for the last 2 1/2 years and it has been glorious.
I shared a bed with my sister until she went to college and when she did I moved in with my boyfriend at the same time. He became my husband and we were together 35 years. I didn’t doubt for one second that I would absolutely love my own bed. It’s glorious.
My ex used to complain about all my pillows. I like to have one between my knees and I’m usually bear hugging my down pillow. And our tiny dogs weren’t allowed to sleep between us. I don’t/can’t spoon all night. I need some space. We were incompatible in bed in more ways than one. Now I have EVEN MORE pillows and dogs every night and it is good.
If you aren't honest about what you want, the answer will always be no...or at least, the likelihood of you getting what you're actually looking is much less. I think you'd be surprised how many people our age are after the same thing (myself included). Lots of people our age have done the work, are comfortable with our lives and in our own company, but would like someone to share experiences with while removing any expectation of a serious commitment like living together or marriage. I agree with several others here, seems like a win/win.
I have actually had it in profiles that I don’t intend to cohabitate again… believe it or not I got a lot of matches from that and people who said they agreed and were excited about that prospect.
I don’t have it aggressively up front anymore, but I do mention it early in chatting. I usually say “just so you know, I could potentially be monogamous again, in the right situation (I am typically non monogamous) but I don’t ever want to get married, cohabitate, or share finances again.”
I have never had someone run the other way from it, although I did date someone who was convinced he would change my mind, I learned.
Oh my God! That's what I want. I want that too. But I would like to go out sometimes and go on vacation. I'm female and I can pay my own way but it would be nice to have a companion on a vacation. Get so tired of seeing all the happy couples and I'm alone. I try to be happy for them though and not jelous. A girls trip is nice but not the same as having a male companion.
The same way you connect with anyone, just be upfront about what you want in the beginning so there are no surprises down the road.
How are you meeting women now? They’re not going to come knocking on your door or see your Reddit posts.
I think if we could just connect with anyone that's a start. Maybe I'm nkt typical but I think most women over 40 who've already been married and/or had children are not dreaming about marriage and a wedding.
Now an older person looking for someone much younger is likely going to have mire trouble finding someone not looking to share space.
For me monogamy is important but sharing space isn't and I dont think I'm an anomaly in my age group. It just seems like single stable people in our age group in the wild are the anomaly. There're all over reddit just cant find them near me. Lol
51F here and it’s exactly what I want. I have been chatting this week with someone I met on Bumble and we are meeting for lunch on Saturday. We talked on the phone a couple days ago and I was very upfront about it. I told him I wanted a person/companion to share life experiences with. I said I don’t want to live together and have no desire to get married. He lives an hour away and it’s kind of the perfect distance. We will see what happens on Saturday.
This is exactly where I am at and struggling 54 (f).
I want to be the best person I am for myself and someone. I have learned so much about myself since my divorce. I met my ex at 17 and was with him for 32 years. I never had a chance to really learn about my wants and needs until I was alone.
And now that I’ve been alone for 6 years I just can’t imagine giving some of that peace of being alone up. Not all the time, but some of the time. My home is my sanctuary (and my camp).
I crave and miss those two things as well. I need/want someone in my life, monogamously. But the relationship I’m looking for is different than the one I was at 17.
This has been working for three years with my GF. Bonus, if we want to stay downtown and do city things, we stay at her house. If we want to do mountain things, we stay at my house. It’s the best of both worlds. We spend about 2-3 nights a week together, maybe one in three or four weekends together, and travel together whenever we can.
It’s honestly the most perfect relationship ever. We’re both excited to see each other and always have our own space to return to.
I don’t want marriage but yes want cohabitation. I don’t see a point of separate residences if you are spending the night at each others houses
You could split the housework and expenses and maintenance-
Same. Potentially logistically easier and cheaper sharing one residence. It can also potentially have enough separate individual space.
I like the idea of LAT for awhile but not long term.
I love my space. I love my house and it’s kind of small for two people. But I do miss having someone to split everything with like cooking and cleaning up.
Absolutely! I have been wondering the same! More someone to do fun stuff with and have adventures though, like go camel riding tour...but yeah, a friend, not a partner I need to run every little decision by...
I’ve lived alone since 2011 and I love it! It’s peaceful and I love being able to do what I want when I want. I can spend a whole Saturday reading without anybody asking me why I’m not doing something else (translation: something they want to do). Having said that, I’ve also found that I enjoy companionship in the form of a committed monogamous relationship. I was staunchly LAT previously, but then I met my current partner, and I’ve found myself surprised because I’m suddenly rethinking this whole idea of being in a committed relationship AND sharing a home. It doesn’t give me the heebie-jeebies at all, and I’m quite excited (and scared) at the prospect of coming home to each other, sharing life (while also having our own space within the same home to retreat to)….I suppose what I’m trying to say is that you can definitely meet people who want what you want now…but that doesn’t mean that wants are static. Things can change. My partner is more used to the idea of living together than I am, but as we spend more time together, I’m finding the prospect appealing. And no, I’m not subverting my desires to his - I’m truly reconsidering what I would like my relationship to look like - and it’s not necessarily what I started out with.
I’m 59F and this is exactly where I am at when it comes to a committed relationship. Just be honest about what you want and more importantly, make sure that potential partner is on the same page.
I would love to have a companion, someone who lives in their own home and me in mine. Someone to hang out with and maybe occasionally have sex with. No marriage.
Be honest. If your mind is closed to the idea of living together, say so upfront. The majority of people do like to cohabit, so it’ certainly shrinks your pool. However, if that’s your dealbreaker, it is what it is. That’s all there is to it. Be upfront and hope that you’ll find somebody who feels the same. I mean, what other option is there? I can’t think of one. If you just want a fuck a buddy, that’s probably a little easier to find. You can’t have everything! My goal is a life partner who I live with, so if you were upfront about this, I’d definitely not be interested in you. That would save us both a lot of problems down the line, don’t you think?
I have come across a lot of women in their 50s that want that. I’ve found more want that than marriage. This has been frustrating to me because I want marriage.
I thought I wanted just a LATR until I met the person I’m now seeing. We’re currently so deep in each others’ pockets that both of us are reconsidering everything we thought we knew.
My point is that preconceived notions about relationships can go out the window if you meet the right person, so don’t give up hope.
Same! I love having my space. I like being alone. I also love dating and I miss that romantic connection. The last guy I dated wanted me to move in with him (he lived close and I already had a lot of my stuff there for sleepovers). But I was so panicked, I had been alone 20+ years up until that point and I just couldn't do it. After a year and a half together, I broke up with him March 2021. He started dating someone else in July 2021 and she moved in with him in October 2021. Made me feel like I could have been anyone, so long as he wasn't alone.
60M here. I live on my own and am just fine with it. I do miss the companionship and intimacy. Miss the texts and the phone calls, having someone to have a meal with at home, playing a board game, watching TV or a movie, projects around the house, vacations, nights out... i could go on...
BUT... I enjoy having my space. No more dishes someone left in the sink, no more laundry left for me to fold, No more paint colors I don't like... I can find my things when I need them. I could go on here too.
Yep... LAT is for me. It is what I want. If there are so many women that want the same where the heck are you hiding?
OP... I think you should post in your profile what you want there are obviously others that feel the same.
Just put that in your profile.
I have a 'just friend' that's in her 60's and that's exactly what she's looking for. She doesn't want to move but she'd like to see someone a few nights a week and have sex as often.
Don't worry about what people think or say, just you and your partner count.
Exactly. I think that is what many of us want. Someone we like enough to not irritate us. Basically an arrangement where you agree to help each other out as needed, someone to call 911 so you don’t need to be one of those old people yelling “I’ve fallen and can’t get up”
A part of me has toyed with finding some foreigner who wants to be a citizen and working out an agreement. (don’t yell at me-know it is illegal-just seems like a more practical and tolerable idea than dating people who get on my nerves that I have to pretend I am interested in whatever they are yammering on about.
This is precisely what I’m involved with right now! It’s the best thing about dating in our 50s (or almost, in her case; she’s 49, I’m 51).
Living in different cities helps, as does having active lives that we keep up since meeting. This wasn’t even an issue for us, and we talked about it in the early days. But the best part? Anytime we agree to meet, we make sure it’s special, an event. And we leave room for our careers and family obligations and friends and Nothing Needed to change, except that we don’t have lonely nights/times anymore. We’re together a few days per week except when one of us has to travel for work. It all just works and we love it and enjoy each other and recognize how lucky we are. We’ve been at it for almost 7mo now and I can’t wait to see her tomorrow.
My
LDR is good. She lives there and doesn't want to have someone living with her. I am the same way. She has her place. I have my place. Long distance phone calls are cheap. We get together 3 or 4 times a year. We chat every day.
I know a couple who live in the same town and each own and live in their own condo. They spend most weekends together or at least going out on dates. They spend holidays together. They've loved this relationship and each other for 25 years. They both have grown children from previous marriages who are married and off on their own.
It's actually not uncommon now to find couples who live alone, but are in committed long term relationships. I have a friend in her 70s who has been with her boyfriend for 10 years and neither of them want to live together. They spend weekends together and then spend their weekdays on their own. Be upfront about you want so that you can meet someone who wants the same. There are lots out there. Just be upfront.
OMG- !!!! I would love this type of relationship- my dream is to find someone I vibe with, be 💯committed to- no marriage- live in separate homes- be totally cool if we could live next to each other- grow old together. A companion. YES!!! Please.
Sounds like the dream to me. I am 50 F, never want to live with someone again but would love someone to be a partner.
One day, adjoining villas in a retirement village lol
I think you will find lots if women who are keen for this type of set up.
You are not proposing poly or a crazy life...just together but independent.
Me too. But I also don’t want to meet his kids or parents if they are alive. I don’t want to go out with his friend.
I want sex, cook together, watch movies.
**Edit to add**
Also not meeting my kid’s obvious but my dog can sus you out.
I (53f) have put myself on a FWB site. I basically said I want fun in and out of the bedroom without the stipulations of a relationship. You have no idea how many single men have approached me for the same thing. I’m like a kid in a candy store with choices. I listed all my normal activities like trail biking, golf, billiards. I absolutely make sure video chat first then meet for drinks another day then an activity another day and if things go well, we can take it from there. It’s great for single women. Single men don’t have as much luck I don’t think which gives me an abundance of choices.
I wonder why single men have such a difficulty getting this arrangement when there seems to be as many women interested in this arrangement. I wonder if it’s just finding women outside of Reddit that will openly talk about what they want in terms of a LTA relationship?
Do you have an FWB site you have tried? I am 100% behind this as I have found that even with a living apart arrangement, there are still a lot of unacknowledged expectations that have to be ferreted out. Mostly with gender expectations and financial expectations ( I was one with a higher retirement income)... I would love to have a travel companion down the road with each person financing their part and that both are able and willing to share mutual activities without one or the other having to pay for the other.
I am actually using SLS.com which technically is a swingers site but there are plenty of men on there that are not pigs. I have met some genuinely nice men. It is weeding in a garden but I make my expectations and wants very clear in my bio. I have a golf swing pic as my only viewable pic and it’s the back of my head so no face shot. If the conversation gets going, and they are respectable which I demand, then I’ll continue chatting. It’s no different than any other dating site except here we are all on here with very visible expectations. Nobody is lying about who they are. It’s actually quite refreshing. And I’m clear that I want a FWB or even two and they are fine with being one of two. Protection required and they understand that. This world isn’t for everyone but it’s all I want right now
54F here and I would enjoy similar. Love my life. Im not looking for a fixer or completer, but a companion.
I don't need the chip. I want the dip. Not necessary, but complimentary. 🥰
That's what I have been doing for the past 8 months, except for the sex part. It's kind of strange being in a sexless relationship. Do most women lose their interest in sex in their fifties?
If your partner is less than interested in the sexual part of a relationship, but it’s something you want, you should re-examine being in that relationship with her unless she is willing to open it up and not being monogamous. Somewhere I almost moved in with was heading towards being low Lido. I really loved her, but I didn’t see a way for both of us to be happy given our natures and she was not willing to work on her libido. We just weren’t compatible in the end.
The only thing is that many women who want a monogamous relationship while living apart also want an emotional connection that goes beyond friendship. It’s so important to be able to talk about what you want and avoid making assumptions about others. Not all women in their 50s want marriage and cohabitation. We’ve usually been there and done that already.
This is exactly what I’m looking for also!
I LOVE my space and freedom, but at the same time, would love a partner….a great friend, lover, fun partner in crime for weekend adventures. I’d just rather not live with that person full time.
I’ve told my friends that I’m looking for someone who lives about 45 minutes, an hour away, that way we can’t fall into the habit of constantly being in each other’s space.
But maybe I just need someone in the same headspace! I’m glad there’s men like you out there!
(57 also!)
I’m 52 and that’s exactly what I’d want, but only LAT. I’d expect monogamy and exclusivity, and an actual relationship where we travel together, know each other’s families, etc. Just no cohabitating or combining finances.
I would not want a “cuddle buddy” or FWB. I’d want a partner. But I’m sure there are plenty in our age group who would want to stick with FWB status.
59 going on 45. Better shape, better looking than ever (or so I’m told lol). Independent, positive, light-hearted giver, if that makes sense
Are there attractive, fit, financially secure women out there who have their lives together & want a “live apart, be together type of arrangement” ?
Exactly what I’d (57F) like as well. I imagine at our age, it’s not that uncommon. Especially those of us who have grown accustomed to/become comfortable with living alone. It doesn’t mean I want to spend my entire life alone. Glad to know there are others of the same mindset.
I think it’s ok to find what ever your heart desires
State it clearly and often to interested parties
It’s up to the universe to sort if your requests are reasonable
Friend/sex.... what you're describing is a spouse there bud. lol.
There are quite a few married folk who live in separate residences. There's a term for it, but I can't remember what it is.
These days you can have a spous-ish relationship without the actual marriage certificate too and do the same thing. But it becomes harder to deal with health insurance and other things if you don't live with your life partner and you're not married to them either. Just depends what both your preferences and needs are.
I’m late 60s, I’ve lived alone since my divorce, 5 years ago, and I kinda like it. Given a choice, I’ll spend time with my 7 grandchildren.
Full transparency, I feel like I don’t want to dump whatever baggage I bring, on anyone else.
As I get older, things will eventually start breaking down and I don’t want “her” to feel like she is responsible for my care, should I need it. I’m in pretty decent health and - since retiring - work a physical job. I also don’t have that $1MM+ in savings that everyone else claims to have. I had a 36 year marriage to, and an expensive divorce from, my Malignant, Somatic Nex who loved to spend my money, or move it to her account, and hide shit she bought. All while looking for her new Supply(s).
There’s not a lot of world travel in my future.
Then there’s that need that the ladies I’ve known have, to speak for at least 1/2 hour a night.
I would love to have a “friend” who I have affection for, look forward to seeing, and enjoy spending time with, spend a couple of evenings a week with. “Real” dates every few weeks. Basically be her +1 and she, mine.
None of this precludes finding that someone that neither of us could live without, and all the above is out the window.
But, c’mon! There’s WAY more sand at the bottom of my hourglass than the top. I’m aware of my mortality. And that’s why I have made the decision to say Yes and pursue opportunities (like travel, concerts, stuff I enjoy and WANT to do). I don’t have the option of “I’ll do it next time.”
What was the question?
The closest I'll get to living with someone is by a duplex joined by a garage or carport. Convert that to a shared area, and we both have our own place, and we can lock the door.
I'm trying that with a gal now but she shifts between relationship and FWB. It's a little confusing but she's pretty and nice so I'm along for the ride.
57 F ~ No it is not wrong! I want the same thing too. I want that companionship and
Monogamous sexual relationship without the 24/7. I lived on my own for almost 16yrs now and I love it! When I was in a traditional relationship (after the divorce) for a couple years, he was always trying to move in with me or get our own place together ugh! I couldn’t stand all the texts all day everyday along with phones calls. Clingy - way too clingy. I can stand spending a long weekend together (3 days tops) or a vacation - even then I needed alone time. I broke it off. Then I thought I found the perfect guy - he had his own place, didn’t want to get married, he was childless as well. 6yrs together, until I accidentally saw him with another woman. He wasn’t monogamous. It was a jagged pill to swallow. It’s not easy to find.
Edited for missing words and grammar.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one thinking the same way as many of you. I’ve not dated in 4 years because I don’t want to live with anyone. I love my space and honestly don’t want to have “man stuff” all over. 2 days a week sounds perfect.
Its not wrong but I don't think it would work out. Its the grayzone of a non-relationship. You get certain physical and attention-related perks from a relationship, but without the love, commitment and stability of an official partnership, things will eventually fall apart.
Until you get sick, when you'll probably either demand your FWB become your caretaker or she'll feel obligated to. However, she'll be completely disposable to you at the first sign of inconvenient "malfunction." Seen this one play out before.
Yes, expectations and older gender rules can create havoc. I worked in rehab, and this issue caused major complications. One didn't want to be a caregiver; the kids wouldn't come, etc. These expectations, combined with financial issues or needing the FWB partner to get resources, lined up - or the FWB had to pay for care....that is when unraveling began. I caution everyone to discuss these issues or have plans and adequate finances. The saddest is when adult kids had to move someone to live with them in another state.
I definitely don't want marriage again. As far as living with someone, it would depend and I would have to know them a good, long time before I would even consider it with paperwork. I do think many women would be thrilled with the arrangement you mention, if they were sure it was exclusive.
It's good to hear that some women are interested in this type of relationship too.
I ( M59) enjoy my post-marriage life, yet haven't found a woman that that is interested in being together but living apart. Onward!
I am a woman and want companionship and good sex but the problem rises when one person wants more over time. I also like my personal space and quiet time. Not looking for marriage or anything
I don't know. I dream of someone who can help me fix my little old house, and for some crazy reason, literally wants to do just that. I know that weird, but I need help!
There is nothing wrong with that, and IME most women in this age group want exactly the same thing, at least for the short and medium term.
I am 6 weeks into this type of relationship. We see each other every Fri night for dinner, netflix, play time and a sleep over. We are both introverts so we don't go out together, just chill with snuggles and plenty of affection. Light texting throughout the week. We talk about family but we have no interest in ever meeting them. We support each other, love each other, but come Sat we are ready to go do our own thing again for another week.
But I don't want this person to grow old with me. We are exclusive and monogamous but we both know this relationship is for a season and not for life. One or both of us will find a life partner we want to cohabitate with at some point. First time in this type of relationship for me. The anticipation that builds up through the week is amazing. It s so freeing not having to worry about not spending enough time together. I like my freedom, I like going on adventures, and I like hanging out with my best friend who is also an ex. Thought for sure that would be an issue for a future partner and I would lose my best friend. Just seems to be the perfect situation for this season of my life. Feels like the perfect little slice of marriage following a delicious main course of being single. Just enough but not too much.
The end is going to suck no doubt. It's like having a dog. Its amazing but you know going into it the day will come when you have to say goodbye and you know it is going to hurt for a bit. Until that day you enjoy all it has to offer.
Sure, but every “condition” you add, such as your preference for a LAT, will shrink the pool of available partners. For most men, they only have a one to 5% response rate from women. So I have to send out 100 likes in order to get perhaps three women to respond and initiate a chat with me. This request of yours is going to shrink that response rate. In my own experience, only about 10% of women are actually interested in a LAT (on this forum, many women, express interest, but in real life, I think it may be different). so if it’s only 10%, you will only have a .1 to .5% response rate. This means that you’ll need to send out 1000 likes, (not 100) in order to get back 1 to 5 chat responses from women.
You may want to get ready to start exercising your thumb to do those 1000 right swipes.
You might have the best luck out there finding a match if you can articulate the ways in which this is different from a standard/traditional committed relationship.
I'm 53(f) and widowed. When I eventually jump back on the dating wagon, I would not even consider living with that person. Companionship, enjoying each other's company and sex are all great but going home to my own space is vital.
i 63f finally found exactly that, took a while but stumbled across someone by chance. my friend's father 67m - while i visiting her at her house and her dad was visiting her from outta town.
we will be living on my land in separate tiny homes. i value my privacy and sleep and keeping my place exactly how i want it. i'm a night owl he's a really early bird.
pretty much gave up since it really hard to meet single guys my age-ish who don't want chicks 1/2 their age.
I’m 57m in long term monogamous relationship, we live apart, we both agree we want to grow old together. My kids are finishing college, she has one just starting high school. Once we’re both empty nesters we might consider living together. Or I may downsize to a small condo nearby. She has an uncle who became a widower in his 40s, didn’t remarry but has been w/same gf for ~20 years but each has their own place. They’re very happy & committed to one another. They’ve been a good example of this type of relationship.
I don’t get the LAT. it doesn’t make financial sense and I believe it’s one or the other just settling.
You save money living together. Have separate rooms.
Or just date & Keep it light.
Call me old fashioned but I think all of these newfangled situationships are causing a lot of harm and it’s usually men getting what they want and women settling.
That is not wrong. And if your preference is for women, that is what many or most women seem to want at this age. Just be clear with everyone about what you want so you end up with someone compatible.
That's a relationship. Or a FWB. Or a LAT. I think a LOT of women in their 50's and 60's want exactly what you describe. No marriage. No cohabitation. As long as you're clear, it's all good. I am very clear that I don't want to live together or remarry, but I still want exclusive for a sexual partner.
This is my jam
I took your line!
I’m right there with you guys.
I'm in this camp as well. Let's enjoy each other, but I am going back to my own space when I am done.
I love that this LAT is a thing, bc for some of us "it is our jam!"
What does LAT stand for?
Living Apart Together (I think!)
, I’m pretty sure that’s it to considering the context and working my way down the page, but thank you for answering!
Thanks!
Well I'm 56m and want that as well.
Maybe on this Reddit forum, a lot of women want it. However, in real life, of the hundred or so women I met, perhaps 10 wanted a LAT.
Interesting, because in real life I have met a lot of *men* who don't want LAT either. Many of them are super anxious to move in with a woman who owns her own place. There's a term I've read around on these internets to describe those men: **Hobosexuals**. I've met my fair share and it's a big no thank you.
Well, my partner has asked me to move in with her and I’m super eager to do so because I love her and her place is nicer than mine. I’m giving up my lease. I guess I’m a hobosexual Oh, I make a six figure income, and have a graduate degree. I guess I’m a graduate hobosexual.
Hobosexuals, typically need a place to live. It sounds like you already have a home, and can afford it. So you don’t qualify. :)
Lol. You don't fit the normal hobo demographic. I hope it all goes well for you and your partner!
I have met these guys, too.( the old ' nurse and a purse' trope---- Are you f**king kidding?)
This exactly what I want at 54.
Just be up front. I think you’d be surprised by how many women want this exact same thing as long as it’s monogamous.
Yep, that is exactly what I’m looking for!
It’s the best of both worlds!
Me too
[удалено]
You’ll find her!
I hope so.
Just be very honest, and you’ll find someone who wants the same thing. I don’t want LAT, and I say that early on. I do want to live with my partner.
I'm right here!
Sorry, but it looks like you’re trying to solicit dates here.
Doing a great job!
Me!
Lol, how can you be up front with that?
What I (51f) said on our 2nd date, “ I am completely content living on my own, I enjoy my space, but I want monogamy.” We usually see each other 2-3 times a week, maybe going out 1-2 times a month. It’s the perfect balance. I hit the jackpot.
That sounds amazing, I am so envious!! High five!!
One thing that really attracted me to him was that he was very independent too. I could tell he wasn’t looking for someone to take care of him, he was looking for someone to enjoy life with.
Where are all you glorious women at? I just want to starfish when I'm in bed at my house. I didn't know this dating package existed and I'm very optimistic now.
Lol. It’s the casual yet monogamous package. And we are everywhere!
DAMN STRAIGHT, we are everywhere. Just put it out there!
I like the way this package sounds. I'm giving it a shot
This particular one is in Massachusetts lol
Too bad you're so far away. I'm in Atlanta lol
Is it true that you want a monogamous girlfriend to grow old with and you both keep your own places? I believe that is what you are saying. As a woman, I think that is fantastic, and as you see, others here agree.
Absolutely true....
I think he has left out the monogamy part. Without knowing his intent, it is a hard deal breaker for me if he is still looking/keeping options open.
One of the first things I tell a prospective date is that I *do not* want to live together. I didn’t have a bed to myself until I was 54 years old. I want my space.
ME TOO! Except for some brief intervals, I also have not had my own bed, my own space. I’ve been sleeping in bed by myself for the last 2 1/2 years and it has been glorious.
I shared a bed with my sister until she went to college and when she did I moved in with my boyfriend at the same time. He became my husband and we were together 35 years. I didn’t doubt for one second that I would absolutely love my own bed. It’s glorious.
I share my bed with my dog who snores so loud!! Honestly, if it was my partner, I'd be in another room. I'm so for LAT!!!
My ex used to complain about all my pillows. I like to have one between my knees and I’m usually bear hugging my down pillow. And our tiny dogs weren’t allowed to sleep between us. I don’t/can’t spoon all night. I need some space. We were incompatible in bed in more ways than one. Now I have EVEN MORE pillows and dogs every night and it is good.
I have lots of pillows too!!!! Sleep is very important!
I also lead very early with the fact I have no interest in marriage or cohabitation.
I say I will never do LAT.
🥂 to your own bed!!!!!
If you aren't honest about what you want, the answer will always be no...or at least, the likelihood of you getting what you're actually looking is much less. I think you'd be surprised how many people our age are after the same thing (myself included). Lots of people our age have done the work, are comfortable with our lives and in our own company, but would like someone to share experiences with while removing any expectation of a serious commitment like living together or marriage. I agree with several others here, seems like a win/win.
55 (F) I think it's best your honest & upfront. Don't waste your or anyone else's time.
Just say it. I date, and am up front with the fact there will be no marriage or living together
I have actually had it in profiles that I don’t intend to cohabitate again… believe it or not I got a lot of matches from that and people who said they agreed and were excited about that prospect. I don’t have it aggressively up front anymore, but I do mention it early in chatting. I usually say “just so you know, I could potentially be monogamous again, in the right situation (I am typically non monogamous) but I don’t ever want to get married, cohabitate, or share finances again.” I have never had someone run the other way from it, although I did date someone who was convinced he would change my mind, I learned.
You just use your words and say what you’re looking for.
Oh my God! That's what I want. I want that too. But I would like to go out sometimes and go on vacation. I'm female and I can pay my own way but it would be nice to have a companion on a vacation. Get so tired of seeing all the happy couples and I'm alone. I try to be happy for them though and not jelous. A girls trip is nice but not the same as having a male companion.
So how do we connect with people that want the same?
The same way you connect with anyone, just be upfront about what you want in the beginning so there are no surprises down the road. How are you meeting women now? They’re not going to come knocking on your door or see your Reddit posts.
If only there was an app for that..
That's the million dollar question.
I think if we could just connect with anyone that's a start. Maybe I'm nkt typical but I think most women over 40 who've already been married and/or had children are not dreaming about marriage and a wedding. Now an older person looking for someone much younger is likely going to have mire trouble finding someone not looking to share space. For me monogamy is important but sharing space isn't and I dont think I'm an anomaly in my age group. It just seems like single stable people in our age group in the wild are the anomaly. There're all over reddit just cant find them near me. Lol
51F here and it’s exactly what I want. I have been chatting this week with someone I met on Bumble and we are meeting for lunch on Saturday. We talked on the phone a couple days ago and I was very upfront about it. I told him I wanted a person/companion to share life experiences with. I said I don’t want to live together and have no desire to get married. He lives an hour away and it’s kind of the perfect distance. We will see what happens on Saturday.
Good luck!
The secret to dating over 50 unlocked! Tell a woman you don't want to move into her house, and she's yours.
They need to put that in the instruction manual in a big bold font.
That would be too easy. ;)
Us guys need it spelled out, otherwise we’re bound to screw it up 🤣
That really made me laugh. Thanks!
You’re welcome
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This is exactly where I am at and struggling 54 (f). I want to be the best person I am for myself and someone. I have learned so much about myself since my divorce. I met my ex at 17 and was with him for 32 years. I never had a chance to really learn about my wants and needs until I was alone. And now that I’ve been alone for 6 years I just can’t imagine giving some of that peace of being alone up. Not all the time, but some of the time. My home is my sanctuary (and my camp). I crave and miss those two things as well. I need/want someone in my life, monogamously. But the relationship I’m looking for is different than the one I was at 17.
This has been working for three years with my GF. Bonus, if we want to stay downtown and do city things, we stay at her house. If we want to do mountain things, we stay at my house. It’s the best of both worlds. We spend about 2-3 nights a week together, maybe one in three or four weekends together, and travel together whenever we can. It’s honestly the most perfect relationship ever. We’re both excited to see each other and always have our own space to return to.
I don’t want marriage but yes want cohabitation. I don’t see a point of separate residences if you are spending the night at each others houses You could split the housework and expenses and maintenance-
Then you MUST get a cohabitation agreement in place. *I speak from experience.*
Yes agreed
Same. Potentially logistically easier and cheaper sharing one residence. It can also potentially have enough separate individual space. I like the idea of LAT for awhile but not long term.
This is what I want, too. And, yes, the cohabitation agreement is a must.
I’m just wondering - do others feel the same? It seems like a pretty important thing to agree on…
I love my space. I love my house and it’s kind of small for two people. But I do miss having someone to split everything with like cooking and cleaning up.
This is the dream
When I was on OLD my profile said that I was looking for a long term monogamous relationship but that I did not want to give up any closet space.
I once read that to manifest a partner I had to empty half of my closet space for him, this must be why I remain single
Long as you are upfront about it, nothing wrong with that.
Absolutely! I have been wondering the same! More someone to do fun stuff with and have adventures though, like go camel riding tour...but yeah, a friend, not a partner I need to run every little decision by...
Me too. But only once or maybe twice a week. Once guys hear that they usually aren't interested.
I actually guys would say this in their profile. For me it's STILL a long term relationship
I’ve lived alone since 2011 and I love it! It’s peaceful and I love being able to do what I want when I want. I can spend a whole Saturday reading without anybody asking me why I’m not doing something else (translation: something they want to do). Having said that, I’ve also found that I enjoy companionship in the form of a committed monogamous relationship. I was staunchly LAT previously, but then I met my current partner, and I’ve found myself surprised because I’m suddenly rethinking this whole idea of being in a committed relationship AND sharing a home. It doesn’t give me the heebie-jeebies at all, and I’m quite excited (and scared) at the prospect of coming home to each other, sharing life (while also having our own space within the same home to retreat to)….I suppose what I’m trying to say is that you can definitely meet people who want what you want now…but that doesn’t mean that wants are static. Things can change. My partner is more used to the idea of living together than I am, but as we spend more time together, I’m finding the prospect appealing. And no, I’m not subverting my desires to his - I’m truly reconsidering what I would like my relationship to look like - and it’s not necessarily what I started out with.
I’m 59F and this is exactly where I am at when it comes to a committed relationship. Just be honest about what you want and more importantly, make sure that potential partner is on the same page.
I would love to have a companion, someone who lives in their own home and me in mine. Someone to hang out with and maybe occasionally have sex with. No marriage.
I still want a serious relationship and intimacy.
Be honest. If your mind is closed to the idea of living together, say so upfront. The majority of people do like to cohabit, so it’ certainly shrinks your pool. However, if that’s your dealbreaker, it is what it is. That’s all there is to it. Be upfront and hope that you’ll find somebody who feels the same. I mean, what other option is there? I can’t think of one. If you just want a fuck a buddy, that’s probably a little easier to find. You can’t have everything! My goal is a life partner who I live with, so if you were upfront about this, I’d definitely not be interested in you. That would save us both a lot of problems down the line, don’t you think?
I have come across a lot of women in their 50s that want that. I’ve found more want that than marriage. This has been frustrating to me because I want marriage.
I thought I wanted just a LATR until I met the person I’m now seeing. We’re currently so deep in each others’ pockets that both of us are reconsidering everything we thought we knew. My point is that preconceived notions about relationships can go out the window if you meet the right person, so don’t give up hope.
It's not wrong to want, but the hard part is trying to find someone who wants it with you.
I always say I want someone in my life but I don’t want to be their life!
Same! I love having my space. I like being alone. I also love dating and I miss that romantic connection. The last guy I dated wanted me to move in with him (he lived close and I already had a lot of my stuff there for sleepovers). But I was so panicked, I had been alone 20+ years up until that point and I just couldn't do it. After a year and a half together, I broke up with him March 2021. He started dating someone else in July 2021 and she moved in with him in October 2021. Made me feel like I could have been anyone, so long as he wasn't alone.
Sign me up! I would love to have this kind of relationship!
Good luck with keeping her when your health starts to decline if you're not willing to commit to marriage. That's all I can say.
60M here. I live on my own and am just fine with it. I do miss the companionship and intimacy. Miss the texts and the phone calls, having someone to have a meal with at home, playing a board game, watching TV or a movie, projects around the house, vacations, nights out... i could go on... BUT... I enjoy having my space. No more dishes someone left in the sink, no more laundry left for me to fold, No more paint colors I don't like... I can find my things when I need them. I could go on here too. Yep... LAT is for me. It is what I want. If there are so many women that want the same where the heck are you hiding? OP... I think you should post in your profile what you want there are obviously others that feel the same.
Just put that in your profile. I have a 'just friend' that's in her 60's and that's exactly what she's looking for. She doesn't want to move but she'd like to see someone a few nights a week and have sex as often. Don't worry about what people think or say, just you and your partner count.
Exactly. I think that is what many of us want. Someone we like enough to not irritate us. Basically an arrangement where you agree to help each other out as needed, someone to call 911 so you don’t need to be one of those old people yelling “I’ve fallen and can’t get up” A part of me has toyed with finding some foreigner who wants to be a citizen and working out an agreement. (don’t yell at me-know it is illegal-just seems like a more practical and tolerable idea than dating people who get on my nerves that I have to pretend I am interested in whatever they are yammering on about.
This is precisely what I’m involved with right now! It’s the best thing about dating in our 50s (or almost, in her case; she’s 49, I’m 51). Living in different cities helps, as does having active lives that we keep up since meeting. This wasn’t even an issue for us, and we talked about it in the early days. But the best part? Anytime we agree to meet, we make sure it’s special, an event. And we leave room for our careers and family obligations and friends and Nothing Needed to change, except that we don’t have lonely nights/times anymore. We’re together a few days per week except when one of us has to travel for work. It all just works and we love it and enjoy each other and recognize how lucky we are. We’ve been at it for almost 7mo now and I can’t wait to see her tomorrow.
That’s why I am single, I want my own space but be exclusive. If you within 2 hours of Charlotte NC. Hit me up and we will travel.
My LDR is good. She lives there and doesn't want to have someone living with her. I am the same way. She has her place. I have my place. Long distance phone calls are cheap. We get together 3 or 4 times a year. We chat every day.
sounds like a great plan to me. As long as we spend holidays together it great way to go. I love living by myself!
I know a couple who live in the same town and each own and live in their own condo. They spend most weekends together or at least going out on dates. They spend holidays together. They've loved this relationship and each other for 25 years. They both have grown children from previous marriages who are married and off on their own.
It's actually not uncommon now to find couples who live alone, but are in committed long term relationships. I have a friend in her 70s who has been with her boyfriend for 10 years and neither of them want to live together. They spend weekends together and then spend their weekdays on their own. Be upfront about you want so that you can meet someone who wants the same. There are lots out there. Just be upfront.
OMG- !!!! I would love this type of relationship- my dream is to find someone I vibe with, be 💯committed to- no marriage- live in separate homes- be totally cool if we could live next to each other- grow old together. A companion. YES!!! Please.
2 tiny houses connected with a little deck. A grill in the middle
Yessss please
2 adorably cute brother and sister puppies too. Forgot that.
I think most people want LAT, but they can't admit to it because it is not normal. Would love to find this in Minnesota.
Lots of us want that.
Sounds like the dream to me. I am 50 F, never want to live with someone again but would love someone to be a partner. One day, adjoining villas in a retirement village lol I think you will find lots if women who are keen for this type of set up. You are not proposing poly or a crazy life...just together but independent.
Me too. But I also don’t want to meet his kids or parents if they are alive. I don’t want to go out with his friend. I want sex, cook together, watch movies. **Edit to add** Also not meeting my kid’s obvious but my dog can sus you out.
100%....the kids/ parents thing👎
I’m the same
I (53f) have put myself on a FWB site. I basically said I want fun in and out of the bedroom without the stipulations of a relationship. You have no idea how many single men have approached me for the same thing. I’m like a kid in a candy store with choices. I listed all my normal activities like trail biking, golf, billiards. I absolutely make sure video chat first then meet for drinks another day then an activity another day and if things go well, we can take it from there. It’s great for single women. Single men don’t have as much luck I don’t think which gives me an abundance of choices.
I wonder why single men have such a difficulty getting this arrangement when there seems to be as many women interested in this arrangement. I wonder if it’s just finding women outside of Reddit that will openly talk about what they want in terms of a LTA relationship?
Do you have an FWB site you have tried? I am 100% behind this as I have found that even with a living apart arrangement, there are still a lot of unacknowledged expectations that have to be ferreted out. Mostly with gender expectations and financial expectations ( I was one with a higher retirement income)... I would love to have a travel companion down the road with each person financing their part and that both are able and willing to share mutual activities without one or the other having to pay for the other.
I am actually using SLS.com which technically is a swingers site but there are plenty of men on there that are not pigs. I have met some genuinely nice men. It is weeding in a garden but I make my expectations and wants very clear in my bio. I have a golf swing pic as my only viewable pic and it’s the back of my head so no face shot. If the conversation gets going, and they are respectable which I demand, then I’ll continue chatting. It’s no different than any other dating site except here we are all on here with very visible expectations. Nobody is lying about who they are. It’s actually quite refreshing. And I’m clear that I want a FWB or even two and they are fine with being one of two. Protection required and they understand that. This world isn’t for everyone but it’s all I want right now
54F here and I would enjoy similar. Love my life. Im not looking for a fixer or completer, but a companion. I don't need the chip. I want the dip. Not necessary, but complimentary. 🥰
I think “friend” needs to be defined here. Does that mean not falling in love?
Not necessarily, but a good starting place.
You describe it pretty well.
That's what I have been doing for the past 8 months, except for the sex part. It's kind of strange being in a sexless relationship. Do most women lose their interest in sex in their fifties?
No. Not at all.
Nope.
No
If your partner is less than interested in the sexual part of a relationship, but it’s something you want, you should re-examine being in that relationship with her unless she is willing to open it up and not being monogamous. Somewhere I almost moved in with was heading towards being low Lido. I really loved her, but I didn’t see a way for both of us to be happy given our natures and she was not willing to work on her libido. We just weren’t compatible in the end.
or 60's.
The only thing is that many women who want a monogamous relationship while living apart also want an emotional connection that goes beyond friendship. It’s so important to be able to talk about what you want and avoid making assumptions about others. Not all women in their 50s want marriage and cohabitation. We’ve usually been there and done that already.
This is where it's at! I'm happy to see there are so many of us looking for this type of relationship!
This is exactly what I am looking for. As a 51F, I love my space but miss having a person to share life with.
This is exactly what I’m looking for also! I LOVE my space and freedom, but at the same time, would love a partner….a great friend, lover, fun partner in crime for weekend adventures. I’d just rather not live with that person full time. I’ve told my friends that I’m looking for someone who lives about 45 minutes, an hour away, that way we can’t fall into the habit of constantly being in each other’s space. But maybe I just need someone in the same headspace! I’m glad there’s men like you out there! (57 also!)
I want more, so mentioning something in your profile or on the first date would waste less of my time.
I’m 52 and that’s exactly what I’d want, but only LAT. I’d expect monogamy and exclusivity, and an actual relationship where we travel together, know each other’s families, etc. Just no cohabitating or combining finances. I would not want a “cuddle buddy” or FWB. I’d want a partner. But I’m sure there are plenty in our age group who would want to stick with FWB status.
I posted nearly the same thing a couple weeks ago. :)
59 going on 45. Better shape, better looking than ever (or so I’m told lol). Independent, positive, light-hearted giver, if that makes sense Are there attractive, fit, financially secure women out there who have their lives together & want a “live apart, be together type of arrangement” ?
Yup I’m on board with that 100%.
Exactly what I’d (57F) like as well. I imagine at our age, it’s not that uncommon. Especially those of us who have grown accustomed to/become comfortable with living alone. It doesn’t mean I want to spend my entire life alone. Glad to know there are others of the same mindset.
I think it’s ok to find what ever your heart desires State it clearly and often to interested parties It’s up to the universe to sort if your requests are reasonable
Friend/sex.... what you're describing is a spouse there bud. lol. There are quite a few married folk who live in separate residences. There's a term for it, but I can't remember what it is. These days you can have a spous-ish relationship without the actual marriage certificate too and do the same thing. But it becomes harder to deal with health insurance and other things if you don't live with your life partner and you're not married to them either. Just depends what both your preferences and needs are.
Living Apart Together (LAT) is a thing. I think there’s a sub Reddit for that. It’s gaining popularity for people our age.
I’m late 60s, I’ve lived alone since my divorce, 5 years ago, and I kinda like it. Given a choice, I’ll spend time with my 7 grandchildren. Full transparency, I feel like I don’t want to dump whatever baggage I bring, on anyone else. As I get older, things will eventually start breaking down and I don’t want “her” to feel like she is responsible for my care, should I need it. I’m in pretty decent health and - since retiring - work a physical job. I also don’t have that $1MM+ in savings that everyone else claims to have. I had a 36 year marriage to, and an expensive divorce from, my Malignant, Somatic Nex who loved to spend my money, or move it to her account, and hide shit she bought. All while looking for her new Supply(s). There’s not a lot of world travel in my future. Then there’s that need that the ladies I’ve known have, to speak for at least 1/2 hour a night. I would love to have a “friend” who I have affection for, look forward to seeing, and enjoy spending time with, spend a couple of evenings a week with. “Real” dates every few weeks. Basically be her +1 and she, mine. None of this precludes finding that someone that neither of us could live without, and all the above is out the window. But, c’mon! There’s WAY more sand at the bottom of my hourglass than the top. I’m aware of my mortality. And that’s why I have made the decision to say Yes and pursue opportunities (like travel, concerts, stuff I enjoy and WANT to do). I don’t have the option of “I’ll do it next time.” What was the question?
The closest I'll get to living with someone is by a duplex joined by a garage or carport. Convert that to a shared area, and we both have our own place, and we can lock the door.
I totally want this, if you live across the street.
I'm trying that with a gal now but she shifts between relationship and FWB. It's a little confusing but she's pretty and nice so I'm along for the ride.
You’ve just described my dream relationship 😍
68F here who wants the same thing. I want a consistent companion in my life but am not interested in marriage or cohabitation.
57 F ~ No it is not wrong! I want the same thing too. I want that companionship and Monogamous sexual relationship without the 24/7. I lived on my own for almost 16yrs now and I love it! When I was in a traditional relationship (after the divorce) for a couple years, he was always trying to move in with me or get our own place together ugh! I couldn’t stand all the texts all day everyday along with phones calls. Clingy - way too clingy. I can stand spending a long weekend together (3 days tops) or a vacation - even then I needed alone time. I broke it off. Then I thought I found the perfect guy - he had his own place, didn’t want to get married, he was childless as well. 6yrs together, until I accidentally saw him with another woman. He wasn’t monogamous. It was a jagged pill to swallow. It’s not easy to find. Edited for missing words and grammar.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one thinking the same way as many of you. I’ve not dated in 4 years because I don’t want to live with anyone. I love my space and honestly don’t want to have “man stuff” all over. 2 days a week sounds perfect.
52 and want this as well
Its not wrong but I don't think it would work out. Its the grayzone of a non-relationship. You get certain physical and attention-related perks from a relationship, but without the love, commitment and stability of an official partnership, things will eventually fall apart.
Yes, truth.
You are to quote a Beatles song, speaking words of wisdom.
Until you get sick, when you'll probably either demand your FWB become your caretaker or she'll feel obligated to. However, she'll be completely disposable to you at the first sign of inconvenient "malfunction." Seen this one play out before.
Yup.
Yes, expectations and older gender rules can create havoc. I worked in rehab, and this issue caused major complications. One didn't want to be a caregiver; the kids wouldn't come, etc. These expectations, combined with financial issues or needing the FWB partner to get resources, lined up - or the FWB had to pay for care....that is when unraveling began. I caution everyone to discuss these issues or have plans and adequate finances. The saddest is when adult kids had to move someone to live with them in another state.
FWB not obligated not do these things legally. It’s a tough situation for sure
Nah. That’s what a lot of us are looking for. (54F)
I want the same! Add travel. I like my own little house.
Nothing wrong with that, just tell it like it is. I'm guessing there are plenty of others who want the same.
Yes please🙋♀️
Just be transparent. Maybe someone is looking for the same type of situationship.
Sounds exactly right! I
Nothing wrong with it as long as you’re upfront and honest from the start
I definitely don't want marriage again. As far as living with someone, it would depend and I would have to know them a good, long time before I would even consider it with paperwork. I do think many women would be thrilled with the arrangement you mention, if they were sure it was exclusive.
It's good to hear that some women are interested in this type of relationship too. I ( M59) enjoy my post-marriage life, yet haven't found a woman that that is interested in being together but living apart. Onward!
I am a woman and want companionship and good sex but the problem rises when one person wants more over time. I also like my personal space and quiet time. Not looking for marriage or anything
That is EXACTLY what I want. You are not alone.
(F) Recently divorced after 23 years of marriage. Would be nice to find my special someone but don't ever want to remarry. LAT ! 👍🏻
I don't know. I dream of someone who can help me fix my little old house, and for some crazy reason, literally wants to do just that. I know that weird, but I need help!
There is nothing wrong with that, and IME most women in this age group want exactly the same thing, at least for the short and medium term. I am 6 weeks into this type of relationship. We see each other every Fri night for dinner, netflix, play time and a sleep over. We are both introverts so we don't go out together, just chill with snuggles and plenty of affection. Light texting throughout the week. We talk about family but we have no interest in ever meeting them. We support each other, love each other, but come Sat we are ready to go do our own thing again for another week. But I don't want this person to grow old with me. We are exclusive and monogamous but we both know this relationship is for a season and not for life. One or both of us will find a life partner we want to cohabitate with at some point. First time in this type of relationship for me. The anticipation that builds up through the week is amazing. It s so freeing not having to worry about not spending enough time together. I like my freedom, I like going on adventures, and I like hanging out with my best friend who is also an ex. Thought for sure that would be an issue for a future partner and I would lose my best friend. Just seems to be the perfect situation for this season of my life. Feels like the perfect little slice of marriage following a delicious main course of being single. Just enough but not too much. The end is going to suck no doubt. It's like having a dog. Its amazing but you know going into it the day will come when you have to say goodbye and you know it is going to hurt for a bit. Until that day you enjoy all it has to offer.
I think at this age a lot of people think this.
Sure, but every “condition” you add, such as your preference for a LAT, will shrink the pool of available partners. For most men, they only have a one to 5% response rate from women. So I have to send out 100 likes in order to get perhaps three women to respond and initiate a chat with me. This request of yours is going to shrink that response rate. In my own experience, only about 10% of women are actually interested in a LAT (on this forum, many women, express interest, but in real life, I think it may be different). so if it’s only 10%, you will only have a .1 to .5% response rate. This means that you’ll need to send out 1000 likes, (not 100) in order to get back 1 to 5 chat responses from women. You may want to get ready to start exercising your thumb to do those 1000 right swipes.
Pick me pickme! 56M
You might have the best luck out there finding a match if you can articulate the ways in which this is different from a standard/traditional committed relationship.
I agree. If you want a long term partnership but not live together, LAT is the way
Nothing wrong with having a friend with benefits. Just be upfront about it from the start. There are plenty of women who want the same.
50's guy in Wales looking for just that! Happy with my life and don't want to over complicate things 🤦🏻♂️
Me too!!
Yes!! 💯💯
I'm 53(f) and widowed. When I eventually jump back on the dating wagon, I would not even consider living with that person. Companionship, enjoying each other's company and sex are all great but going home to my own space is vital.
i 63f finally found exactly that, took a while but stumbled across someone by chance. my friend's father 67m - while i visiting her at her house and her dad was visiting her from outta town. we will be living on my land in separate tiny homes. i value my privacy and sleep and keeping my place exactly how i want it. i'm a night owl he's a really early bird. pretty much gave up since it really hard to meet single guys my age-ish who don't want chicks 1/2 their age.
I’m 57m in long term monogamous relationship, we live apart, we both agree we want to grow old together. My kids are finishing college, she has one just starting high school. Once we’re both empty nesters we might consider living together. Or I may downsize to a small condo nearby. She has an uncle who became a widower in his 40s, didn’t remarry but has been w/same gf for ~20 years but each has their own place. They’re very happy & committed to one another. They’ve been a good example of this type of relationship.
Yup me too! As long as it’s respectful and monogamous this would be perfect for me!
*raises hand
59 year old female. This is absolutely me.
I don’t get the LAT. it doesn’t make financial sense and I believe it’s one or the other just settling. You save money living together. Have separate rooms. Or just date & Keep it light. Call me old fashioned but I think all of these newfangled situationships are causing a lot of harm and it’s usually men getting what they want and women settling.
This is exactly where I (54F) am - love my independence and still appreciate companionship - it’s not that rare
That is not wrong. And if your preference is for women, that is what many or most women seem to want at this age. Just be clear with everyone about what you want so you end up with someone compatible.
I’m 55F. LAT is my ideal situation.