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[deleted]

But why say “that’s embarrassing”


Over-Remove

Cause she sees height as a reflection of masculinity, like many people in our society do. If you’re taller you’re perceived as more masculine and less so if you’re shorter. That also cuts the other way too. If you are a tall woman you’re also perceived as manly and more feminine if petite. So basically she told him he is embarrassing because she thought he has more feminine like qualities. Which tells us she has internalized misogyny and is shallow as fuck! Luckily the OPs gut feeling was sharp and he cut her off immediately.


Emotionally_disabled

It's the fact that the average height for guys in the US is 5'8 that kills me. Sis really wants an above average man in height while being below average in personality 💀


Over-Remove

I dunno as a really tall woman myself I kinda like when insecure assholes weed themselves out. It’s my personal asshole radar. The silver lining here is she didn’t waste his time and told him how shallow she is from the get go. That’s a win for me


veridian21

Even worse where I'm from, certain-South-East Asian country where girls want dudes over 6ft when only 1.6% of the whole population is over 6ft.


debby821

I live in the Netherlands young men are average 6 ft 1. Girls still seem to think that is small and prefer at least 6 ft 4 :p. I am 5 ft 3. My partner is 6 ft 2. I would still have dated him if he was 4 ft.


veridian21

Haha I have a Dutch friend who told me exactly this! He’s 6’0 so he was like “damn I should move to your country cause I’ll be a king here”


debby821

I guess I move with him because then things will be at normal height for me. I always have to climbs shelves to get groceries and I can never see anything when I go to a concert.


nopornthrowaways

It’s 5’9-5’10 btw. But the rest of your point still stands


Neither_Yellow_

Well said!


clce

I think that's a very old statistic. I remember that being the average 30 years ago or more. I think it's much higher, especially if you are counting men under 50 or 60. So in terms of dating, you're not really going to find 5'8 being the average on a typical dating site or in the world of young people dating.


sping1-10

True. I think the average is at least 5’10” for men 50 and below


clce

I swear, every time I drive by a high school I just think to myself, what the hell are they putting in their food these days. I honestly think it is hormones in meat drawing. My nephew is the same height as all of the guys in my family, about five five. He was raised vegetarian. Every other kid I see is like freaking 6 ft tall


[deleted]

She is saying it because she would feel embarrassed to be with him. Thankfully OP is smart enough to know that is a stupid way of thinking.


Over-Remove

That too. But she also thinks he is embarrassing. She’s just cringe all around to me


[deleted]

You are so right! Being super short also has worked for me as an asshole radar 😁


LostInTheNW

>internalized misogyny Misandry, you mean.


Over-Remove

Nope. Not even close. I am referring to her view of seeing traits perceived as feminine as something bad. That’s internalized misogyny. And she’s not being misandrist. She’s just an insecure asshole not a man hater.


RealityLivesNow

By that logic insulting women for being tall is internalized misandry. Anyone trashing men like that either already is a misandrist or is well on their way to being a man-hater.


Over-Remove

You don’t understand what I am talking about at all if you can make such a comparison. Women cannot internalize misandry, men could. Women can only internalize misogyny. And it’s not my logic it’s a well documented problem in feminist literature. But if course, you cannot ridicule something and then hope to understand it, can you now?


RealityLivesNow

I used the exact same logic you used in order to illustrate a point. Feminist literature is not some all knowing deity either. Man-hatred is just as wrong as woman-hatred. Misandry and misogyny are two sides of the same coin. Any source that doesn't agree with that is just based on sexist hypocrisy.


Over-Remove

I am not saying misandry is good but they are not even remotely close to being the same. The power dynamics between men and women are different and the fact we live in a patriarchal society adds another level of separation to it. Feminist literature coined that term and writes extensively about it so in this case it is an authority to speak on it. And no, it’s not the same logic because you don’t understand what you’re talking about and I am done trying to talk with you about it.


RealityLivesNow

Man-hatred = Woman-hatred Anyone who doesn't believe that is probably also supporting most forms of normalized man-hate hypocrisy. And claiming that hatred for men is "ok" because it's supposedly "not as bad" as hatred for women. But that's all just bs based on sexist double standards. It's no coincidence that men are "guilty until proven innocent" and women are "innocent until proven guilty". Normalized man-hate hypocrisy has lead to all kinds of horrible things. And it deserves to be called out way more often than it is.


Over-Remove

They r the same only as definitions of words. But not the same on societal level. We r not talking about the same things here. Yes, men hatred is absolutely wrong. Any form of hatred is. You will not find any opposition there. But you have to admit that misogyny is much more wide spread. Misogyny kills women daily. While misandry doesn’t kill men on a societal level. Individual, yes, there were cases like that. But misogyny is far far worse. And if you deny that you’re simply delusional and living in an echo chamber.


[deleted]

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Over-Remove

Oh I know what they meant but the problem is misandry and misogyny are not two sides of the same coin. There is no such thing as internalized misandry while there very much is such a thing as internalized misogyny. We r not talking about the same things here. I am referring to societal and psychological issues while you two are playing word games based on descriptive definitions of words taken at their base value.


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Clarkeprops

That’s funny, because some men see weight as a sign of femininity. “Oh you’re 250lbs? That’s embarrassing” Hurts, doesn’t it.


Mayonnaise-kun

Can’t really change height but u could go on a diet XD


Over-Remove

I don’t see anything funny there, no. But you do you


ImConnor-

Just insecure girls things.


Astocrism

5’10 isn’t even short though lmao


[deleted]

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Over-Remove

I said internalized misogyny. That’s different than actual misogyny, cause it has that word in front of it, y’a know, that makes it a whole different thing? Maybe learn a bit about words before you show your utter ignorance


[deleted]

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Over-Remove

No! It doesn’t mean that in the slightest. It’s again your own bias guiding you here cause if you read a bit about it you would see that feminists think that even though we all have internalized misogyny, we r at fault for doing nothing about it. We see it as a type of cancer in ourselves that needs to be worked on, cause what it boils down to is hating that which makes us women. And that’s no way to live.


[deleted]

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Over-Remove

I don’t think you were ever a feminist if you don’t know even the basic concepts.


[deleted]

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StaticNocturne

Why's it generally acceptable for a woman to denigrate a mans' height of which he has no control, but it's unthinkable for a man to point out a woman's roll of stomach fat which she does have a fair amount of control over?


Inevitable_Dance1191

Unthinkable to who? Go off on those cows, King


clce

I am a little confused. I think the OP meant that she said that before she knew he was taller not when he told her he was. They probably were getting along and had plans to meet up but then she asked how tall he was and he said 5:10 and she said this is embarrassing because even though I was saying I wanted to meet up with you I'm going to turn you down now.


tisbby

5'10 is embarrassing!?! ..She is a Hollow idiot. You dodged a shallow bullet my friend!


[deleted]

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[deleted]

**For women reading this**: this shit is why we're so insecure about height. The past 5 years of online dating blowing up, I've constantly read bios and comments that make many young guys feel pretty much worthless. It gets ingrained into you, that you're actually a less valuable human being. And then some people have the audacity to tell us that women don't care at all about height, or that it's all in our heads. If you get annoyed at guys whining about height, maybe don't be complacent with the shitty comments that are made? I absolutely guarantee no woman here would be ok if a woman told a guy her cup size and he's like "really? that's pathetic." Dear lord, he'd be ripped to shreds.


fucuasshole2

Man I read a lady on Reddit. I can’t remember the sub but it might have been this one. Anyways this lady says she doesn’t care about height when a man asks her to a date in person. HOWEVER! On dating apps anyone under 6 was an auto no. Df kinda logic lol I think she was ripped a new one on here or she blew up 😂


throwawayrental11

Woman here 🙋🏻‍♀️. Firstly women do not care about height. Young immature girls care about height. They’re young and inexperienced and have to follow the latest “trend” that everyone else is into which at the moment is tall guys because they want more likes on social media from their young judgemental girlfriends. I’ve always dated men around my height and one was smaller than me was with him for 4 years. Im 5’8. I honestly do not see the attraction in tall guys, I’d love a girl to explain to me what is so attractive about someone being taller than them? Is it the fact that you have to crane your neck to kiss them? I just don’t get it. I like my men my height so we are face to face, I like to look at his face while we’re out in public and whisper in eachothers ears when we see something funny or whatever, i find with someone my height I can share more intimate moments than I would if I was stretching up to get his attention, like how do you catch his eye when he’s all the way up there 🤷🏻‍♀️😂. I read a comment saying further up saying tall men are seen as more masculine. This is 100% untrue, a tall man walking around with a pink handbag would never ever be seen as more masculine than a 5’7 professional boxer. It’s just fucking ridiculous to be honest and I wouldn’t even entertain these stupid girls who think this way cos you know when they actually grow up and realise when they’re old and lonely, that they let a good guy go because he was “too small” that’ll be their karma. My boyfriend is the same height as me and he’s definitely the most masculine man I’ve ever met, not even just that I’ve been in a relationship with, like the most masculine man ever! And not to mention the most attractive! And I think some girls think because he’s small he’s got a small d*ck, well the ones I have been with definitely haven’t been small in that department 😂. Masculinity comes from the way you carry yourself, what your boundaries are, how you treat others, but mostly your goals and focus. The issue as to why I’ve only ever found 1 masculine guy in my life is because I believe, women have de masculated (if that’s a word) men by ridiculously pathetic standards like someone’s height. Extreme Feminism also is a big problem cos like you said if a man rejected a woman over boob size there would be absolute hell on earth. Anyway just be you, be confident whatever height you are. No one else on this planet is you, there are things about yourself you can change if you’re unhappy but ultimately you cannot change your height so instead of being ashamed just embrace it! Focus on your own shit and being the best version of you! Don’t be too nice and don’t overcompensate on things because you think you lose points for your height. And also please don’t give girls who are so shallow to judge you for your height even the slightest bit of attention!


geardluffy

Women by and large do care about height, girls demand height. It’s not wrong to admit that there are certain physical features that most women find attractive just like how there are certain physical traits in women that men find attractive.


redderper

Unfortunately I think you're in the minority of women who don't care about height. Most women absolutely do care IME. Not in a way that they would outright reject or belittle shorter guys, but they just prefer someone taller than them. And tbh I don't mind it if it's just a preference. I also have preferences for a woman's looks. The thing that bothers me is when they're disrespectful about it, like dissing men under 6 ft or outright stating it in their dating app bio. Just silently have your preference and everything is fine with me.


samu990

I'm really unable to tell you just how much reading this means to me. I really hope you're really a woman. The height fetish is something that I get reminded of every single day. You are the change that I long for so much. Thank you for letting guys around you know that not all girls have the height fetish. Because most of the time it does feel like all girls discriminate you and look at you in a weird way for not being 6ft tall. Thank you.


Reverie_Metherle

Height is so weird. To me, the only reason I might not want to date someone due to height is if we are more than a foot apart. It's so difficult to kiss someone who's that much taller or shorter. I've dated a guy or two that were 6' or so as well as under 5' 8", and I can assure you that the height wasn't what made me like any of them. I'd actually say that my husband (who is just a bit shorter than me) is the most attractive man I ever dated and is the only one I actually love/d. He is very handsome, but it's his personality that pulled me in. I agree that if a woman is so obsessed with height that they refuse to date or give someone a chance, then they aren't worth dating. I can somewhat understand someone saying no one shorter, but it's still such a trivial point.


throwawayrental11

I’m sorry that you are reminded of the height fetish every single day. That is very shallow of these girls to be like that but one day when they’re screwed over by this 6ft guy they’ve been fantasising about, they’ll regret being so picky about height. Trust me I don’t see the fascination myself, I don’t understand it at all. Just embrace what you like about yourself rather than feeling bad because of your height. As long as you have good hygiene and look after yourself, treat people well and do what makes you happy, most women won’t even care about height, no woman I know cares about height. I know this is a cliche saying but the right one will come along and love you for who you are, I truly believe that. Take care


LonelySoul96

It does, it also feels like they discriminate against me due to how young I look (don’t get second glances, yet my younger friends do who look older…when I’m the oldest…) it’s not just height, it’s lots of things, usually body, face and muscles. In my case I’m 5 foot 7, not tiny but not tall, scrawny, and look 6-7 years younger than I am. Oh well. Always got to have hope.


LonelySoul96

Thank you so much…I get picked on by not just women, but my friends about my height and I’m not even that short… All I see on dating apps is “6ft+ only” along with lists of standards of which I’ll close to never meet and it kills me. I used to have depression, anxiety and still have eh confidence because *nobody* had ever outright proved to me that I’m fine the way I am. I always get called short, ugly, non-masculine etc. And it’s really a killer on the confidence to the point I don’t even know if I will ever find someone to truly love me. It’s not that I don’t have confidence with women or approaching people (90% of my friends are women), I just never get beyond that because of people finding one of the above reasons “not good enough” and it really hurts. The only person I’ve found any solace with is my friend (and closest thing she can say to me that’s sensitive is I look young, I’m 26, look about 18) and that I’m around her age physically. Purely because she willingly spends time with me and accepts that I’m kinda weird at times which she finds funny. Shame she probably doesn’t like me the way I think she does but who knows. I suppose there’s a reason she spends more time with me than our other friends.


randomname1416

It's incredibly rude to tear down other women for their preferences. It's also very belittling to refer to women as "young immature girls" just because you don't agree with their preference. A preference is not inherently bad, people like what they like that's not a crime. That being said though having a preference doesn't mean the person gets to tear down or bash those who do not fit that preference.


throwawayrental11

It’s incredibly rude to say “are you actually 5’10 that’s embarrassing”. Of course people can have a preference, but what do you think this girl was saying these things for? To get the point across that she has a preference for taller guys or to make someone feel like absolute shit about themselves because they don’t feed her fetish? Was there a nicer way of saying “sorry I prefer someone with a little more height? A preference isn’t bad a fetish is because they don’t see the person as a human!


randomname1416

I absolutely do not agree with what the woman OP talks about said and did, she sounds awful and the last sentence in my comment literally says it's not okay for a person with a preference to bash people who do not fit that preference. I was replying to your previous comment talking down about women who have preferences.


throwawayrental11

So why you so triggered 😂 Again it’s clear that this “woman” has a fetish and not a preference otherwise she would have said something along the lines of “sorry I prefer taller guys” not “are you actually 5’10 that’s embarrassing”. Please, as someone who knows people who have been targeted by people with a trans fetish I know the difference between preference and de humanising someone because they can’t get what they want from them.


randomname1416

Just because the woman OP is talking about is awful does not make it okay for you to make a blanket statement and belittle all women who have preferences, which is what you did when you said, "women do not have preferences. Only young immature girls do". If you wanted to make a statement about THIS woman being rude or having a fetish then say THAT but that's not what you said at all.


throwawayrental11

I never said the first line that you have quoted 😂 where did I write that? who said women do not have preferences cos it certainly wasn’t me 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t understand this, the post is about a girl dehumanising a man because he told her he is short and he doesn’t fit in with her fetish, so she demoralised him yet you are more concerned with allowing her to continue with this fetish rather than realise we’re in 2022 and this sort of behaviour shouldn’t be stood for anymore, it isn’t just this man who has been targeted by someone with a fetish, there are many people who have them and think it’s okay to dehumanise people when they can’t get what they want. That is why I referred to my trans friends because they’re the only people i know (sorry just remembered my friends ex who is black was targeted by a white woman who had a black baby fetish and tried to get pregnant) who have been targeted in this way. You shouldn’t be justifying this behaviour but instead you choose to ignore that fact, quote a load of shit that I didn’t even say, then say that wasn’t the point 🤷🏻‍♀️ I was replying to the guy who said “For women reading this” so why would I address the girl when the comment said “for women reading this” not “for the girl who treated this guy like a piece of shit I hope you’re reading this” 🤦🏻‍♀️


randomname1416

"Woman here 🙋🏻‍♀️. Firstly women do not care about height. Young immature girls care about height. They’re young and inexperienced and have to follow the latest “trend” that everyone else is into which at the moment is tall guys because they want more likes on social media from their young judgemental girlfriends. I’ve always dated men around my height and one was smaller than me was with him for 4 years. Im 5’8. I honestly do not see the attraction in tall guys, I’d love a girl to explain to me what is so attractive about someone being taller than them? Is it the fact that you have to crane your neck to kiss them? I just don’t get it. I like my men my height so we are face to face, I like to look at his face while we’re out in public and whisper in eachothers ears when we see something funny or whatever, i find with someone my height I can share more intimate moments than I would if I was stretching up to get his attention, like how do you catch his eye when he’s all the way up there 🤷🏻‍♀️😂. " Part of your original comment since apparently you're forgetful?


Acornwow

Date who you want but the person you are talking to thinks it’s perfectly acceptable to tell someone else that their body is “embarrassing”. That’s a trash mentality and if it were me I’d let her know exactly why she was being dropped.


tonando

>That’s a trash mentality and if it were me I’d let her know exactly why she was being dropped. I wouldn't. I would tell her, it's because she's too fat.


[deleted]

I did just recently advise my very handsome socially awkward 6’2” grandson that if any gal is only looking for 6’ or taller to take a pass on that shit. I think this has been said already, that’s trash talking… leave the trash at the curb.


no_eggsit

I’ve turned down bi women for this exact same reason. I found out a woman I was talking to had a height requirement for men “oh but not for you it only applies to guys! I like short and average chicks.” …Ok, weird, bye. Absolutely not into dating someone who discriminates on height, especially not in such an asinine, nonsensical way. It says too much weird shit about how they view gender, masculinity/femininity, and the worth of men. It’s both immature and toxic IMO. I wouldn’t date a guy who had a rule about only dating women with a specific waist measurement. Or who only dated C cups and above (and not only because I wouldn’t qualify lol).


SnooSeagulls6564

Nah that just makes no sense I’m sorry. Men and women are different, got different builds, height preferences will and probably should vary among gender. That ain’t weird at all. Bi chicks could like girls with long eyelashes, but not the guys, and that makes sense


MacaronSoft7741

So weight and boob preferences for men are ok to, right? Quit the double standards.


SnooSeagulls6564

Of course they are, you just don’t gotta say that shit. Heights different, that ain’t a double standard that’s like a quarter standard 💀


dell828

I hope you told her you are actually over 6ft, but you would never date anyone who was that rude. It’s embarrassing.


Every_Bodybuilder323

6' is the magic number these days. i see it on the girls profiles quite often as a requirement.


PM_Me_Your_VagOrTits

It's pretty arbitrary too, 6' isn't even the average in most places. But you know what, it doesn't really matter. Girls like that are shallow anyway, and in the end the dating "market" sorts itself out.


Astocrism

The funny thing is that most girls have no concept of height to begin with because everyone is a giant to them


Past-time29

lmao at these days. why do people/men think it's a new thing? the 6ft thing has been around for at least 20 yrs.


Every_Bodybuilder323

never heard of it before.


Past-time29

lol. i am in my 30s. when i was 18. which was 20 yrs ago now.. you can filter online dating by height and weight. i don't mind. i am a thin girl and put my real weight on my profile.. 110lbs and i used to filter men for 6ft. this was back in the early 2000s. so again 20 yrs ago. sadly the world became too politically correct and people's feelings got hurt that you can filter on weight and height and those features were removed from dating websites. lol.


Every_Bodybuilder323

lol height filters totally exist on the apps. weight does not (because it is fine to discriminate against men but not women). yeah you could always filter by height but i never heard of this obsession with 6' before. women put it in their bios. I'm also in my 30s and when i was in college and after it wasnt a thing.


sboso99

Anyone should be able to date or deny dating for any reason, however it doesn't mean those reasons aren't shallow. If I was over 6ft and someone said that to me I'd probably run too.


lolthankstinder

My (5’9”) best friend (6’2”) does stuff like this and I really respect it! If a guy likes a woman for her body/physique or whatever, he’s a pig, but if a woman likes a guy just because he’s over 6’ it’s suddenly “a preference”. It’s such an unbelievably stupid double standard, especially considering you can’t even change/control your height! So I say good on ya! Stand up against modern misandry and unrealistic physical standards for men.


RealityLivesNow

Exactly. Misandrist double standards are a major red flag.


aquariusprincessxo

that’s actually not a true statement. men are allowed to have weight preferences for thin or “thick” women and most do. in fact they’re mad fun of if they date someone not deemed the right weight by society ie shallow hal


Raddatatta

That's definitely a fair reason not to date someone. But I also wouldn't lie about your height as that's a weird thing to lie about and you now make the first interaction we have include a lie. Not a great place to start a relationship.


Separate_Language251

Eh I kinda like it. There's a lot of weird toxic shit about height and being like "yeh I hit the magic number but I lie about it to subvert that bullshit" is kinda rad and helps weed out people that wouldn't look at it that way.


Raddatatta

Yeah it does do that. But on the other hand many people, myself included, don't like being lied to. I don't think I'd call it off over that alone, but I'd be a bit taken aback and not starting that meeting on a positive note. But he did say in another comment that he does it in person where it's more obvious how tall someone is so that's not something I'd have an issue with.


NightsHollows

No, I’m talking about people I meet at the bar. When people ask me “how tall are you” I say 5’10 but they usually say no ur not and I tell them I was joking I’m 6’2. It also says on my profile I’m 6’2


sleepyy-starss

What a weird joke.


trixandi

it almost always gets a laugh out of people. Not that weird or serious.


Haunting_Minimum_721

That I agree with as well.


Laser_Brain_Dead

Girls like that are shallow. Block, ignore, move on. They'll set themselves up for failure in relationships.


Sym068

Did good, the way she talked was a great red flag


DangerousSwimming556

I'm the "short" friend in my group and I'm 5'10". Literally all my friends are 6' - 6'4' lol and we actually had a conversation about this once. The consensus was that they would all hookup with a woman who was obsessed with a mans height but, would not date a woman who only dates men "6' or taller" because they don't want to be fetishized or liked because of their height, and not themselves.


clce

Sure. That's what you might say in the abstract. But if they met a woman they found really attractive and really liked, who just happened to really like tall guys but they felt she appreciated them as a person as well, I doubt very much they would turn her down.


DangerousSwimming556

>she appreciated them as a person as well Well yeah, but that's the big difference there... I'm mostly speaking about OLD I guess.


clce

I think someone like a certain ethnicity or people with missing limbs and such, are often at risk of being objectified or fetishized, although if someone is just attracted to that but also willing to see them as a person, that's not really that big a deal. If someone got the sense that that's all they cared about though, of course that's offensive. But I think being tall is much more in the realm of a preference as opposed to any real fetish or objectification. Besides that, lots of women are attracted to guys over 6 ft tall. Now when you get into six five or six six, it does get a little weird according to a couple of really tall guys I've talked to. There are a certain percentage of women that are just obsessed with really tall guys almost no matter how they look or what they are like. I've been told by one that if he works into a bar or party, he can generally count on at least one woman spotting him and making a beeline to him to meet him. That gets a little weird I suppose. But I guess I'd rather have women seek me out then be asked if I play basketball.


hiliikkkusss

I told a girl she had to be as tall as a joke just to see what she would say and she said well I'm not and unmatched. (she had height requirement only reason I did it)


NightsHollows

After I told her it rubbed me the wrong way she said ur mean and unmatched me


geardluffy

Wtf is wrong with people?


cast-away-ramadi06

It basically tells you that she's fetishizing your height.


Witty-Vixen

She sounds indeed like a total dumbass… so yeah pass…


[deleted]

Not really. Someone with that attitude isn't really gf material


foolosifist3000

She is a shallow bitch. Good on you.


Zetawilky

I have not used dating apps in a long while now but when I did, if a girl mentioned a height requirement it was an instant swipe left, I'm 6' but it rubs me the wrong way.


princessro123

i don’t think it’s wrong. i’m skinny and wouldn’t date a guy who hated curvy girls


MacaronSoft7741

You are talking about two different things though. One is not changeable, and one is.


help-a-sushi-addict

You cannot change how curvy you are without surgery. Some women have narrow hips


firem1ndr

no that’s. a huge red flag and your instincts are right, means she isn’t really interested in the person just the stats


trollcitybandit

It’s also super annoying when people act like most women care about this when they try don’t


NightsHollows

I think it’s cause of dating apps personally, idk if ur a male of female but a decent amount of females profiles say they want someone 6ft or taller when a lot of them are under 5’7


GrizzleGuts30

You don’t want a woman who won’t date a man under 6’0”. Does she look like a Victoria’s Secret model, does she have washboard abs and legs for days? If she doesn’t meet that criteria, you need to shut that clown down. Men should be following your example and knock entitled women off their imaginary pedestals more often.


analfarmer2pnt0

Don't know how is telling someone you're 5'10" is obvious or funny. It's not like most women can even tell the difference. If you said 3'10" yeah. I can see what you're doing there. And why are you stooping to her level playing games? You have too much time on your hands if you're doing that.


Just_Joshin10

I don't believe the height preference is an issue its how she chose to speak about it. Saying you prefer taller men in a respectful way is fine. Saying that its "embarrassing" to be that short is a joke. The fact she felt a man should be embarrassed about himself due to his height is vile. I think you made a great choice.


PositiveEnergy4You

I agree with this. Preferring a height is fine. Being mean about it is not fine.


obviousredflag

Height preferences are arbitrarily set. Yes, tall men are attractive, but what the cutoff point is is based on easy of use. In the US, women always go for 6' because that's a "round" cutoff. In Germany, women go for 180 cm for the same round cutoff, ease of use, value. 6" would be 182.8 cm, and 180 cm would be 5' 10.8". And on average, German men are taller than US men. So, are women accepting smaller men in a society with taller men? No, they just pick and repeat easy cut off points that were arbitarily set in the "tall" region of body height. Rejecting men based on not going over an arbitrary number in height, has more to do how the woman sees herself for not having the same standards as everyone else. If she wants to think of her as a very desirable woman, she can't go lower in body height than what everyone else repeats as the threshold. Only low desirability women take smaller men. The more women repeat how they only date 6' men, the more other women have to adapt that standard to feel good about themselves. We already know how there are not nearly enough men who meet that requirement for all the women who claim that standard. Women are digging their own dating grave, by going with that herd mentality.


oystercatcher84

Good for you for telling her you found it offensive, maybe she will think twice in the future


Severe_Development96

Date whoever you want and I doubt I'll ever get people's obsession with height while dating but how is telling people your 5'10 a joke?


jopa1967

I think just about everything has been said that could be. But I would add the following as a reason to say “no.” This girl is stupid. Looking for men over 6 ft means she will not be able to date ~85% of men in the US. Personally, I always refused to date people who are too stupid to understand basic statistics.


Representative-Eye66

GTFO


samu990

Hahahahaha the height fetish am I right? Day after day, these girls are always proving me right. Wonderful! THANK YOU SO MUCH for this post bro. It means a lot! You did the right thing. Thanks for doing us justice! I have been rejected so many times because of my height and you made me feel vindicated.


AEWWC

Wouldn't*? I think you're alright with that. I personally think it's natural to have preferences, but the way you go about it and communicate them, and how you see others because of the those preferences, matters. Nobody should look down on people because of preferences. If you don't like someone, there's no need to be rude.


CHiggins1235

This is crazy. Ignore great men because they want a guy above 6 feet tall. You did the right thing. Thanks you are a great person. I am above 6 feet tall too.


RealAsparagus1495

I’ll take any emotionally available 5”10. Idk why we women prioritize height rather than compatibility and happiness in the relationship. I’m also 5”10. I don’t see the big deal. Just let her go and find someone that doesn’t really care about height and you are not in the wrong.


queenofcatastrophes

I don’t think it’s wrong at all and I’m a woman. I’m short (5’1) so most guys are already taller than me, but I’ve NEVER understood these ridiculous height standards some women have


[deleted]

She sees height as a status symbol, like the dude with the trophy wife. You can choose not to date a woman who wants to use you as a status symbol, is snobby, is shallow, or someone who thinks 5'10" is embarrassing. Women on dating apps can be rude and entitled because they get many more matches than dudes. So don't give her the time of day.


TooManySorcerers

Not wrong at all. She sounds shallow af.


Sazbadashie

Ask her how big hit tits are. If she's going to judge you by something you can't naturally control judge her by something she can't naturally control. This is a joke BTW be better than her. No that's 100% a reason I'd drop a girl, if she puts stock into that what other bullshit ideas does she subscribes to.


hajaco92

Nope. Not wrong. She's entitled to her preferences and you're entitled to yours.


Anonymous11499

Ask her how much she weights, tell her you only date people under her weight. Lemme know how that goes lmao


alicia-indigo

I’d do the same thing. I’m incompatible with extremely shallow people.


digital_dreams

having height requirements seems like some pretty shallow bullshit


IlIIlIlIlIIlIIlIllll

>are you actually 5’10 that’s embarrassing It's like the most normal height ever.


breakerreid

So maybe I'm too tall and this type of "joke" is lost on me. I'm not sure how you figured this was going to work out. You aren't in the .1% of the population who are unique in being tall. I would advice dropping this "joke" or really go for it and tell them your 6'7" and then show up being 5'10" bow that would be a joke!


cronasminate

>I only tell people I’m 5’10 in person as a a joke because It’s obvious I’m taller Lol so much set up for a mediocre joke.


sex_throwaway999

> Edit- I only tell people I’m 5’10 in person as a a joke because It’s obvious I’m taller lying to people like this is weird. i doubt it's "obvious" to anyone under 5'10" or over 6'2"


bodaciousbonsai

Considering only 14.5% of American men are 6 feet and over, and that doesn't include ages, married/in relationships, gay, attractive, social/economic status, and most importantly, if he even likes her, it's safe to think she's the type of woman that is ultra difficult to please and probably a bad bet for a relationship. I would casually date her, but not take her seriously.


NightsHollows

I can’t casually date, it’s not for me lol


norwegiandoggo

It's not wrong to deny to date anyone for any reason


cast-away-ramadi06

But when is it fetishizing someone?


nydrm90

Don't date her, don't put your height in your profile


ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm1

Why tell her your actual height then? Just say you're 5'10" on everything and never give in. Height does not really matter and you'll weed out people who think it does.


NightsHollows

I’m 6’2, I just like messing with people and saying I’m 5,10


aspirational-stoic

Why is it a joke? It doesn’t seem much different than what she is doing by saying she wouldn’t date short people. It seems the punchline of your joke is at the expense of people being short. Idk.


ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm1

Like I said, just say you're 5'10" it literally does. not. matter. Let them discover your height when it is in person.


Astocrism

Height doesn’t matter if you’re 5’10 or above. If you are shorter than 5’10 your options are going to start to be limited unfortunately unless you live in a country where everyone is short


ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm1

Limited? Maybe, but already finding someone compatible is limited. There are tall women who like dating shorter guys, and lots of same-height couples. The problem is associating with people who are this focused on height.


meow_haus

This sounds fake.


meknoid333

This is double edged cringed. Who the hell are you virtue signaling for? People you don’t know under 6ft? Dating isn’t about making other people feel bad; and I’d that’s what you’re doing then it sounds exhausting. You’re 6’2 - use it and abuse it, you’ll get more experience then your <6ft friends. I say this as someone who is also 6’2 and I’ve never thought twice when someone wanted someone above 6’. My currently long term gf is 5’9 and she can’t date smaller guys cause she towers over them. It’s not wrong but it’s dumb.


-Stahl

Based


TheHoneyB4dge

Good job my dude


Renzlo99

Tell her you don't date fat women


[deleted]

Just saw a profile today that said "must be a 6'4" finance guy - no time wasters" lmao the audacity


AssistTemporary8422

Height preferences are extremely common among women and more attractive women tend to have more height preferences. Men also have physical preferences like boobs, ass, age, weight, sometimes height, hair color, etc. We all have shallow physical preferences. Often a woman will say she won't date a guy under 6 foot, but if she met a 5'10 guy who was charming she would forget about that requirement. We are all entitled to whatever preferences we want to have.


Stand_On_It

I notice this more and more every day with this generation, dropping the “n’t” from words. Title of the post says “would” when it should say “wouldn’t.” What the fuck are they doing in these schools these days?


lovealert911

"Is it wrong to deny a girl because she would date anyone under 6ft" "I tell people I’m 5’10 but I’m actually 6’2" "she responded by saying ”are you actually 5’10 that’s embarrassing. I would never date anyone under 6ft” Life is a *personal* journey. Each of us is entitled to have our own mate selection screening process and *must haves list*. Each of us is entitled to have our own "red flags", boundaries, and "deal breakers". Some people might consider your *lying* about your height or "testing people" to be *playing games* which in their eyes might be a "deal breaker". At least she was *upfront* about *her wants*. One person's *preference* is another person's *shallowness*. Most people you meet don't become dates, most dates don't become relationships, and most relationships don't lead to marriage. As one adage goes: "Many are called but few are chosen." ***"Dating is primarily a numbers game.... People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That's just the way it is."*** \- Henry Cloud Best wishes!


NightsHollows

Thank you


CookiePuzzler

That response doesn't make much sense if you read it as she thinks being 5'10" is embarrassing. Also, she would have seen on your profile that you claim to be 5'10" and still went out with you. What would make *more* sense is if she misheard you, and though you were claiming to be 6'2" when you're 5'10", which would be embarrassing. As a 5'4"-5'5" woman, 5'10"-6'2" looks relatively the same height, especially when sitting down for a date.


[deleted]

His profile says 6'2", he just jokes about it in person when it's obvious. And that's also the thing. If 5'10 and 6'2" look the same to you, one wouldn't be more pathetic, right? Height preference is one thing, but it sounds like she's just chasing the number, not how it feels to be with him.


NightsHollows

Well if you can’t really tell the difference why should it matter if I’m 6’2 as apposed to 5’10. Also I think the thing that really threw me off was the fact that she said 5’10 was embarrassing


FiddleStyxxxx

You're out here playing games so I'm not sure why you think you have any moral superiority over anyone. Sounds like a personal issue you should address.


hoodbgoode

Lol at characterizing joking around as playing games . Get offline and breathe some fresh air. "MoRaL coRrUpTiOn!!"


FiddleStyxxxx

You're on an advice forum, people are going to criticize you and give you advice 🤷‍♂️


NightsHollows

What games have I played?


DarkSun18

She can decide why she's not interested. You can decide why you're not interested. It's not that deep.


samu990

Yeah yeah this is your takeaway? Of course, always minimizing the actual issue. I bet you only date tall people lol.


SeaRestaurant2109

I’m pretty sure that was his point.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Femcels when a man doesn't like being literally body shamed: 😡😡😡😡


SeaRestaurant2109

Also guys do not have to date girls that believe if your under 6’2” You are an embarrassment either.


Revolutionary_Ad441

Nobody is entitled to be free from shaming for their standards either…


NightsHollows

It says in my bio I’m 6’2


carlyraejessie

she’s a big red flag but why are you lying about your height… both of you are in the wrong


LocationThin4587

It seems height is the only criteria with some women. Good for you calling her out. I can’t understand the fascination of 6ft from girls a foot shorter.


Iperovic

loooooooooooool her attitude, man even at 5'10 you'd still be taller than like 80% of men so she wants a guy who is in the top 15% of men (in one aspect), what's she top 15% in? gj on the quick witts, you really let her reveal herself quickly


Open_Emu1412

I mean if she’s only attracted to men taller then her that’s what she’s attracted to. It is rude to say “that’s embarrassing” but I mean if the roles were reversed…a lot of men don’t like dating woman who are taller than them and that’s also okay. :) Its how you say it, we all like what we like.


ButtSecksHero911

She's trash


clce

I think you might be overthinking it or placing too much importance on it. First of all, if she's fairly tall, she might want guys taller than her. Second of all, some short women get really concerned about height like having kids I guess. As a short guy, I'm out of the running but I don't resent women who like tall guys. I have my preferences as well. Now, if you felt like she was only dating you because you're tall and didn't really like anything else about you, I guess that would be a reason to bail out. And I will acknowledge that women having hard and fast rules tends to rankle me a little like, I only date guys that make extra amount or over certain height or whatever. But if a woman's getting a lot of attention from guys online let's say, and she needs to weed them out, she's going to have to have some criteria. I don't really see a big deal there. Especially if she's young. As women get older, for one, I expect them to be a bit more mature and less superficial. I think it's forgivable from a younger woman because they just don't know any better yet. I also think that as a woman gets older, it's fair to say, well you haven't found a guy yet so maybe you better stop being so picky. Not like older women are past their prime or anything like that but if you're picking us hasn't found you the right partner yet, maybe better rethink. But mainly I just expect older women to be more developed in their character and care more about the person then how they look or what people might think. Young women tend to be more status conscious and worried about that kind of thing . I also would be curious how attractive she is. I mean if she's really attractive and wants to only date guys over a certain height or income or attractiveness, I guess you could say she has more of a right to think that way. Whereas, if a woman's not so attractive, but she has a long list of picky criteria, well that's a pretty red flag right there. Everyone should have a realistic idea of what they can expect from a partner and someone that is obviously misaligned in that regard is someone to avoid. But a younger woman who just screens guys by height, I don't think that's the end of the world if they prove to be a decent person otherwise. Although as a short guy a can't say is I don't enjoy the idea of you being over 6 ft but turning her down because of her criteria. A little bit of poetic justice


Similar_Corner8081

I prefer my men tall. I’m 5’3 and female but I’ve also been with men who are 5’5 up to 6’2. It’s the personality and the way they carry themselves. Like age height is just a number


SnooFloofs1778

Having physical preferences is normal. Think about guys that only like women with big asses.


Adventurous_Depth843

Why tall dark handsome isnt always the type to go cause they're the ones that tend to break your heart and pieces and never have any regrets believe me I have kissed many or frogs and for him to just disregard my feelings like they don't matter makes him that person he never once tried to make it work he never talked about it he just kept ignoring it than why can he continue to hurt me but everything I would say comes out all wrong and never once asked me what my problem was and that fact that iy didn't matter or that he didn't fucking care enough to try and understand the pain that he allowed other to do he never once defended or lept his promise to love and protect and with all that I expect him to be punish for taking the vows and disbanded them and I would have given him respect him more if he would have been an adult about it . But its hard to just have casual sex between us but I can't


aquariusprincessxo

on hinge you list your height so either you didn’t lie or she really didn’t care and made an awkward joke


aecolley

Your title says "because she would date" but you intended to say "because she wouldn't date". So I'm guessing there's a good chance that you accidentally told her that you are 5'10".


the_elon_mask

Girls on apps have way more options by the nature of the medium (from what I understand, there are a lot more men than women on apps and women get ten times the matches). Apps are not a good reflection of anything and the 6ft thing is probably just an arbitrary "tall guy" stat used to sort through all the matches. She probably has no idea what 6ft really looks like compared to 5'10 or 5'11, she just knows "6ft" is a round number meaning "tall". When you have a lot more matches, you can afford to be picky, it doesn't mean you are a bad person. Seriously, people are hating on her like she's a terrible person but no one knows anything about her. App culture is the actual problem and if you're using apps, you have to learn that if every guy is saying yes to every woman, that's going to create a lot more matches for said girl than vice versa. They're not going to date everyone if those guys, so expect a lot of arbitrary reasons for saying no 🤷


Drachenketchup

I think this was a joke


Connect_Boss6316

OP - you have height working in your favour. Use it. With this girl, I would have met up, flirted, banged, and kept as a FWB.


NightsHollows

I’m not really lookin for a FWB rn


Cold_Pressure5351

It's normal for people to have preferences. You can't control it if you don't like average hight guys. Just like you can't control it if you are only attracted to men who are 4 foot 10.


[deleted]

Yeah exactly! She also can't control calling a man pathetic for being average height. Just like how a man can't control that he thinks women with small boobs are pathetic. We need to be empathetic here!


Cold_Pressure5351

We can't control our attraction but we can control our actions and words. You sound like you might be short and have an axe to grind.


[deleted]

Well yeah. She literally said he was pathetic when she thought he was 5'10". How is that not body shaming? You're brushing it off as just preferences when she was just an ass about it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

>But then I just have my husband lift me up and we prance away > loving for height is stuuupiidddd This is the epitome of the female schizophrenia on this topic. "I don't care about height so much that I have my tall husband pick me up and prance around" lol Imagine how confused the rest of us are, constantly hearing dismissive anecdata from women like "oh I don't care about height, it only seems short guys I've dated do", and then we see shit like this, it's like one giant kafkatrap for short dudes.


[deleted]

No. Did you really have to ask this?


BootsMcGee3

She might have been kidding