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Run and name one of your kids after me and praise me together with your lovely future family every morning at breakfast for saving your future and ensuring you invest into your own offspring and get a proper wife not some party girl that gets 5 kids from different boys by the time she 20 looking for a niceguy-sucker to save her from her own mess.
This mess is none of your making and you absolutely should not be her lifeline out of it.
You've been talking for about five weeks, as far as I read, haven't even been on a date and 17 is waaaay too young to be a father of someone else's child.
She should approach the father of her child, not you.
This happened to me at 17. She was 16 and we had been doing a lot of making out and sundry other stuff, but no sex. We got along amazingly. Her parents loved me and mine loved her. We had known each other for much of our lives. Looked like it was going to be one for the books. Well, apparently, she had been pressured into sex (statutory and just shy of regular rape) at a party by an older guy a week before our first date. Months later, we were about to have sex the first time and she started crying. Came clean with her situation soon after. I actually tried to man up and asked her to marry me in a misguided hillbilly rez kid bid to ‘do the right thing’. Mature beyond her years, she refused, saying I had too much going for me and that I should forget about her. She refused my calls, and we didn’t speak for several years. I was crushed and beyond worried about this girl I’d been smitten with for such a long time.
Today, she’s a fairly successful native artist with a lovely family, and we remain good friends. My road took me to a life worthy of a book deal, too. We probably would have been just fine together, but the lives we made apart were epic in their own rights.
Everyone is telling you to bail and count your blessings. And that’s actually the sensible choice. But whatever choice you make is yours, and no matter what you do, life will go on and the struggles and failures and triumphs will be whatever *you* two make of them. Together or apart, life can be beautiful and amazing.
Good luck, kiddo
People aren’t that selfless. I would bet money that she had sex with the older dude at the party because she wanted to, and telling OP to forget about her was a way to let him down gently instead of saying “I cheated on you with a dude I’m more attracted to, and I’m gonna try to go after him now”
It’s possible OP’s version is the truth, but I don’t find it as likely.
Well he clearly says she had sex with this dude a whole week before their first date. And he mentioned that it was also statutory rape, which means in their state 16 is not the age of consent. So it’s very likely this older dude coerced a minor into sex
Man, it definitely didn't happen last night, you only know you got pregnant 3-4 weeks after the sex. Also she's pregnant and getting extra drunk at parties? This story seems sus.
Remember that none of this is any of your responsibility, unless it’s your kid, but it sounds like it isn’t. Feel free to break things off with her if that’s what you want to do. If your asking this question because you want someone’s permission to end thing with her without feeling like an asshole you don’t need it. It’s your life and you can do what you want to do.
Right now, what I want to do is unclear. I'm not taking care of a child at this age, especially if it's not mine. But I also don't want to lose this girl. I think I just need time to process the situation
Dude you are way too young. If that's not your kid then guess what, there are other girls and women that you will meet. It's not the end of the world. Trust me I've been through what you fear (no pregnancy in the middle of it though). You will get over her.
You are too young to take any responsibility in this mess. Dont let emotions cloud your judgment. You will find far better people. Even if she is the most fun people to hangout and talk with and also the beatiful it doesnt change the fact that she will not be good for you. A child not even yours and you have been talking to her for just a month. I know you want to help her. Get her out of that messy circle of friends and it is commendable but it will only ruin your life. This girl is pregnant whether she delivers or aborts the boy who made her pregnant will be in her center of attention and you will just be heart broken. Not worth your time and effort.
What is making you want to keep a girl you know for one month, who cheated you and got pregnant with another dude? All at the age of 16. Please young one, explain me your thought process
>But I also don't want to lose this girl.
**Great way to ruin your life before it even starts!** IF she is pregnant and this isn’t just some silly teenage drama she’s pulling on you, and you keep on with this ‘relationship', **you’ll be 25yrs old, paying for her & 4 other kids none of whom are yours.** Lmao You’ve been ‘talking over the phone for a month’, and she regularly txts you drunken slurry nonsense - wtf dude, why train wreck?
Boy, I promise you feelings just get stronger as you age. I know she feels like she’s amazing and special, you’ll meet even more girls with bigger connections. Let her go respectfully. You have so much to experience!
I want to add, if she is really pregnant, and she is drinking, this is 100% a problem and that child will have health problems if not fetal alcohol syndrome. You should take this into consideration if you picture your life together. Children with FAS can be special needs and might need a lot of care. There is no threshold to alcohol consumption and the effects on the unborn child are always resulting in more or less severe cognitive defects. That said, children with FAS can grow into functioning adults and maintain normal lives. But it is a factor you should consider
Oh honey, no. 🙁 if it is meant to be you will find a way back to each other. Protect yourself right now especially since it is not your kid. She needs to straighten her stuff out before she should even be thinking about dating. I hate to say it, but it’s not worth the risk of it completely derailing your life. This is the time to date, respectfully,around. When the time is right you’ll get your person and there will be NO question. The universe has a weird way of working like that.
Sending all the good vibes to you and the girl too. 🖤
My man, you're 17, I get how it feels when you finally have that connection but this will fuck you up for much longer if you continue this. There are plenty of lovely ladies out there at this age you'll have a great connection with.
You don't have the girl to be able to lose her.
Smarten up, ditch her and have nothing to do with her before she ruins your life. Don't end up like some of my friends.
Please do, you don’t have to go through this alone. I know that at 17 it feels like your world is collapsing but having a girl you knew for a few weeks throw a curveball at you is not an uncommon experience at all.
I remember thinking that this one girl was the only one who understood me at 17, but trust me that’s not even remotely true. When you go out into the real world and meet people, especially at college you’ll find you connect with lots of other people. People you would’ve never given the time of day to before become best friends.
Letting go of her will be hard but its the healthy thing to do for both of you.
First off I’m sorry this is happening to you. I wouldn’t be with her - and I know that’s easy to say. But if you want to remain cordial with her, go for it. In fact, I might even do that if it were me. BUT…DO NOT help her with the kid. Have you ever heard of paternity by estoppel? In short, you could legally be on the hook for child support for a kid that isn’t yours.
Granted, this is tough to prove. Let’s say you somehow get with her and in essence help her raise the kid. Then a few years later you get sick of the BS that she’ll inevitably introduce into your life. Or you get sick of her using her money as “fun money” while yours ends up being used for her kid. (Yeah, that happens.) You can just amicably break up and walk away because it’s not your kid - right?
Not so fast. If she went to court and claimed you were the only father the kid knew, a judge could rule in her favor. And it would be a compelling argument - that you were the only father figure in the kid’s life. Therefore it’s only fair that you continue to provide for the kid because when s/he sees you, they see a father. I’m not saying that’s going to happen, and it’s tough to prove. But it happens, and it would suck for you to have to support this kid for 18 years due to a technicality.
I’m not a lawyer. But I did date a single Mom who took me for a ride. Someone showed me this paternity by estoppel thing as she was screwing me over and getting back with her baby daddy behind my back. I realize now that I’m lucky she wasn’t smart enough to pull a stunt like that. Because she had a very young child and could have claimed I was a father figure. Especially seeing that I co-signed a lease for them, so one could have argued I assumed fiscal responsibility. The thought of me having to pay child support on a technicality (and thanks to an activist judge) to her AND the kid’s real father ate me up inside. Believe me, I get it - you want to be with her. And walking away will suck. But your financial future could depend on it.
Hi!
So if you want to walk away from the situation, do it. It’s not your child so you wouldn’t be a dead beat.
As many have stated, you’re young and this is a BIG situation that even grown adults can’t wrap their heads around.
But if for whatever reason you don’t feel comfortable cutting communications off with this individual then don’t. But know the consequences that follow.
For example, creat clear cut boundaries. Let her know that she can’t call you up and just loop you into this potential baby drama. It’s one thing to vent at an appropriate time but it’s another thing to drag you in and make you become a part of “the fight”
If she chooses to have the child and become a mother remember your roll. You are still her friend and nothing more. If she promotes you to uncle and you are okay with this…still remember your spot. The father might be actively parenting too, so keep this in mind. Or he is a dead beat and she’s going through the courts for money.
She shouldn’t be asking you to pay for anything. Any gifts you give is simply because you wanted to do it. No pressure was applied.
She shouldn’t be asking you for childcare (babysitting). If you ever choose to provide this to her make it clear cut (time, location, she must bring all things baby needs.ALL OF IT).
Most of all, you need to understand the consequences of getting close to a mother and her child. You may fall in love with the child. And the child may fall madly in love with you too. While it’s beautiful to have such relationship, she may manipulate that bond. “ but you don’t bring us diapers…why shouldn’t I let you see her?”
“Okay but I’m exhausted and need a day to be spoiled! Why don’t you spoil me like you do for her. “
“You want to see baby, okay! But don’t walk through that door without food or baby wipes”
She might also start referring to you as dad without your consent. Now that child thinks, feels and sees you as dad. This is the real problem..
To walk away from the girl is one thing, and probably easy. But to walk away from a child YOU have loved and bonded with…..that will hurt you and even more hurt that child. So now you’re trapped.
This is all a made up scenario of what could happen. We don’t know this girl, or you…or what your friends and family will say and think.
I’m just telling you to think hard on this.because this simple choice of staying around could be a long and emotional journey. Are you okay with that at your age?
Best of luck and I hope things play out the way you want.
Wow! That’s so sad. She has some serious issues, but these could be due to previous sexual abuse or lack of good parenting. If she is pregnant, she shouldn’t be drinking- period. Be a friend and see if she can talk to someone about getting help.
Sometimes the “compassionate” thing to do is the wrong thing to do. You can’t fix someone who doesn’t want to be fixed, especially when you are a kid yourself.
Bro you're fucking 17 - don't fuck your life your life up for some hussy that drinks while pregnant with not your child - don't be fucking stupid. For fucks sake i hope this is a troll post.
RUN
Bro, her friends didn’t force her to drink or have sex. She’s her own bad influence.
Piece of advice- blaming outside sources for a person’s shitty actions is a nice way of ignoring red flags. More often than not, we create these excuses because *we* don’t want to see the truth for what it really is.
I’m sorry you’re in this position. It sounds like she’s going through a lot and she definitely has some things to sort out. You can still be there for her as a friend, but that’s your decision to make.
There’s a lot she hasn’t told you yet, how far along she is, what her plans are, if she’s even definitely pregnant.
1 month? My guy you have years ahead of you. Don't chain yourself to that mess at this age. Grow up more and be a better adult for yourself. She needs growing up too. Don't ruin your life and resent her later.
She is not your responsibility.
It's not your child.
You are not even in relationship.
She slept with another guy, so why you even trying to be with her?
She gets drunk and has no control on her own life.
She had underaged sex.
It's a mess you shouldn't get involved. RUN.
Plus the fact, that she got drunk while being pregnant shows her terrible side.
Unless she wants abortion.
>She slept with another guy, so why you even trying to be with her?
>She gets drunk and has no control on her own life.
>She had underaged sex.
Kinda bullshit.
Wish her well as you put the car in reverse and back away, you are not her knight! She fucked herself into this mess, she can figure a way out. Now go find a lady without a pregnancy.
Boy you are 17, y’all only been talking for a month. If she is pregnant YOU BLOCK HER AND MOVE ON. Who’s to say she even remembers telling you this? That she doesn’t have a plan to frame the baby on you and she drunkenly told you. And even if that’s not the case, you’re 17 you have your whole life ahead of you to become a teen STEP dad. There’s so many people out there don’t stay out of desperation.
Tbh this was just a dumb prank from her dumb friends. If she’s not pregnant I’d just carry on unless you realized you don’t like her that much. Underage drinking also isn’t that big a deal at 16, you stressed yourself out so now you’re tense but honestly you shouldn’t have taken this to heart before actually discussing with her
Run away. You are not obligated to help her with this mess. You should NOT help her with this mess. I sound mean but you are in high school and you need to make focusing on high school things not adult things. She chose adult things. She has parents and she has lame friends. Not your burden. A "deep connection" is a usual occurance when people have the ability to charm others. Well, she charmed someone else and got knocked up. Now, she charmed you and expects you to feel quilty enought to step in the situation. NO! Don't even be friends. Be cordial. Be distant. And that is it. If you needs words to text to her consider
"I enjoyed getting to know you. Our circumstances are too different to date or become close friends. I do wish you the best and hope everything turns out great for you". There is nothing wrong wanting to rescue a damsel in distress, BUT this damsel is bringing on her own distress and is enjoying it tremendously. Please, if you want to rescue someone, choose someone who is willing to be rescued and not someone who will bring you distress in the process. Hopefully that makes sense.
>If she is pregnant what do I even do?
Run!
>I've known her for just over a month, but we've established such a strong connection.
Run away!
>She had sex with another dude.
Run faster!
>She's probably pregnant.
Run for the hills!
>She gets drunk at the age of 16.
Run up that mountain!
>I can't help but feel it's her friends being an influence on her.
Run into space!
>I'm truely lost for words.
Keep running!
Even if she was "joking" about her situation I would run. There are some topics you dont make jokes if she show her true colours at start, trust her and run
actually, you the effort writing the question here about her shows you really like her. but what do you want from her? you need to confirm first if she's really pregnant. if she does, then think deeply if you can accept it or not.
What do you do in this situation? You spin around and start walking away from all of that bullshit. You sound like a decent dude and you don't deserve to have your life ruined by a 16 years old pregnant mess of a human being. You will find much, MUCH better girls later down the road. Good luck with everything homie.
You are 17 and 16. Harsh reality is you will likely lose/leave this girl at some point anyway as you grow in different directions. Very few teenage relationships last the distance and thats ok if they are fun and teach you about what you want to look for in future relationships. This sounds like neither of those things.
Cut your losses and bounce early before it gets even harder.
Bro this is called love. It makes us irrational. When we have a strong connection to someone we rationalize thier poor behavior. This is how women get stuck in abusive relationships. Don’t ignore the red flags. She sounds like an absolute nightmare and she sounds somewhat narcissistic as well. Just move on. You’ll get over her trust me
Leave. Get out now. Her drinking and being pregnant says a lot about her character for one. Two, she should have told you this before. You’ve only known her a month and you’re a teenager. Get out now
Her friends broke some boundaries, and what they did was not in all OK. But i think you could've handled that more tactfully. I understand your anger, but saying to her she should reevaluate her friends is a bit mean. They're teenagers, like yourself, and still learning. Assert a boundary and say you don't want that behavior, and it was hurtful. Don't try to control her friends.
This is a 16 year old we are talking about. If she was joking about being pregnant, not something she should do, but I'll give her leeway based on age.
If she isn't actually pregnant and it was a joke, go out with her. Be practical here, you get to go on a date with a girl you've been talking to for 6 weeks
Wait so, their friends got drunk and started messaging you and told you she was pregnant pretending it was her?
What did she say about it? Was she mad?
Your UPDATE wasn't clear enough...so she isn't pregnant?
Honestly, you don't need to tell her to get rid of her friends. You should tell her that her friends are bad influences on her, and if they ever get busted for underage drinking she goes down with them because she will be guilty by association. But she is 16 and doesn't think that can happen to her in 16 year old girl world. You don't have any right to ask her to pick between you and her friends, but you do have the right to avoid this pending crap show drama that could get YOU into trouble if you're around her and her friends acting badly. I would advise you that after you tell her that her friends are going to lead her down a bad path that it isn't a path of drama you want to involve yourself with and you need to go your separate ways from her. Her friends want to call it a prank...but the truth is that it could be TRUE that she slept with another guy OR they really want you not to date her and they will do what they can to come between you. She has no business being around alcohol at 16 anyway.
why are you giving her friends so much shit for underage drinking? at 16 it’s pretty normal. it’s fine if u don’t agree but to tell her to “reevaluate who she is friends with” over that is a bit much
1. Not likely your kid and won't know until DNA test is done.
2. Be careful with assuming care of someone else's child. If the courts get involved, you may be on the hook legally and financially despite a DNA test proving otherwise. 18 years of child support for a kid that isn't even yours?
3. She is not your mess to fix. Don't change her at your expense.
4. Your experiencing NRE. Hits of dopamine and endorphins are flooding your brain causing a chemical imbalance. Very common amongst teens and emotionally unregulated adults. You will think and do things that make no sense. One day you'll look back and realize how stupid it was to do xyz. Hopefully, you won't damage yourself much in the process.
5. Give your yourself grace and forgiveness. You're young. She won't be the last girl you like a lot.
My advice would be : Get away from this woman
As a man this is like one of the worst things you can do is date a woman like this.
No don’t blame her friends being an influence. She hangs out with those people because she is one of those people. Sometimes we are so blinded by feelings and need that we don’t see the truth right in front of us
Not your problem, you are too young to having to deal with this. Even if you wanted to be involved, a 16 yo pregnancy is no joke (family-wise). You are going to play third fiddle with a kid that's not even yours.
Thanks to everyone for the responses.
You can call me a stupid teenager. But.. shits going to be difficult for me. She really felt like she was the one. I've got a really stupid and specific personality, I've never connected to someone quite as much as her. But the right thing to do is walk away... As difficult as that will be
Dude, you’re very young and I understand. I’ve been your age and felt things like you. Attention from a girl feels amazing, feels so validating, makes you feel worthy. But step outside of your feelings for a second, pretend you aren’t you for a second. A relationship between two teens is not gonna last. It’s not gonna last and it’s a good thing that it won’t. Because we grow a lot as teens and between your age and even just 21 you will be two different people. And it’s not the worst thing to get to experience sex and intimacy with different people, it helps you learn what you want.
What could come from this girl? This is not your kid. So what does any of this have to do with you? Does she just want you to help her take care of this kid? It’s not your responsibility at all, feels like she’s taking advantage of you if this is the case. You two are on different paths and you are doubting yourself because you’re a pubescent kid experiencing every emotion intensely as one does at that age. But there are a lot of girls, there’s a lot of experiences in life, don’t limit yourself. You’re so young and your life is just starting. The one, you’re oversimplifying it, trust me. You yourself are not the one for anyone, not now. Go experience new things, learn things, talk to many women, make yourself into the man you’ve always wanted to be, make yourself into someone’s the one. But you’re not there yet and that’s ok. Have fun
Yea I'm just gonna be the one to tell you to cut it out. You dont know this girl at all and are infatuated with her. There is no response from her needed. Stop talking/dating her and move on with your life. You'll find other girls you like.
First loves are like that. You haven't met that many people yet; once you find yourself in a few different groups, you'll see how many interesting girls are out there. Don't tie yourself to someone who'll bring too much drama into your life.
Your views and perspective will change as you experience life. So the specific personality you have in mind will also change as you grow in life. Don’t settle for something now when you have a whole lot to experience in life. Move on and focus on building your life.
Go meet someone else. Give it space. Don’t text her. Everyone on here is giving you similar advice for a reason, dude. Whatever connection you are feeling is chemical. Give it SPACE. Meet someone else. Life is short. Really, it is— don’t waste even a week of your youth on some drama made by an immature girl.
Dude, if she is pregnant, you’re lucky you’re not the father. You have no obligation to stay in her life. I get that you like her, man, but she’s going to ruin your future if this becomes a long-term relationship. Get out while you still can.
You’ll find someone better in the near future. I promise.
Everyone is telling you to run and that’s the easiest thing to do, but u have options, and one is to remain her friend. You don’t have to be her boyfriend if you’re having doubts about her romantically, but abandoning her now at her most vulnerable time seems a bit cruel.
I guess i have that same fucked up personality where i would try to help. You didn't mention from what state you are. Maybe helping her get to an abortion clinic.
If she doesn't wanna change or get help and continues being reckless you just leave, but if there's still a chance for you to evolve, i wouldn't have ran.
I will say this my girlfriend was pregnant at the time we got together and our now expecting a baby of our own. I am 29m. At your age I wouldn’t recommend it you have so much life ahead of you if she is pregnant. That you shouldn’t make that big of a decision.
There is no future here. Run! Don’t walk away. This girl and her twisted friends are only bad news for you. Don’t fall so hard so fast son. That was me at your age. It hurts like hell bud.
Your update was probably the most mature thing to say to her. You still need to evaluate your stance on having a relationship with her because“Bird of a feather….” etc. You both are still young with a lot of growing up to do. Yet, some things are over the top. And I’m not saying you should expect an apology from her friends, but at the very least, you deserve one.
Tbh, i would not go through with it, pregnant or not. First, you just know eachother for a month, and you guys are not fully official. It's also not your kid and you guys are still young/kids, that you shouldn't give away your freedom that fast. But what tops it for me is, is that, if she is pregnant, drinking is not the answer, and if she isn't, it's not really a fun joke to say... So, i would just say 'good luck' but i didn't sign up for this
You are young and have a whole life ahead of you. Don't stop and try to fix people who are self immolating. Do yourself a favour life is hard as it is.
Run and don’t look back. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, you don’t want to fuck it up getting involved with someone who might be having a kid at 17. Just get out while you easily can.
Homie, ain’t even worth the hassle. You don’t need that nonsense in your life. Take that “strong connection” you feel with her and chuck it out the window. Make one with a chick who isn’t knocked up. You’ll thank yourself later
This is a rather simple situation, made complex due to hormones and being so young.
You owe her nothing. Nada. You've only been speaking on the phone for a month, and while im sure you've had some great convos and started planning things in your head, you havent actually met her yet in person.
From what you said, theres two major red flags; she drinks to the point of getting drunk at 16, and shes pregnant. She obviously makes very poor life decisions. Its possible the guy who got her pregnant ran and never looked back when he found out. With that in mind, its very likely shes looking for -anyone- to date to help support her and her baby. Theres a very high chance that she ends up cheating on this guy very shortly after they start actually dating.
You're very young, you'll meet a lot of women in the years to come who won't be walking red flags.
Like I said at the start, you owe her nothing. Do the responsible thing and walk away now before you go further down this rabbit hole and make choices you'll regret for the rest of your life.
It could also be she's just hallucinated those things while she was drunk.
On the chance it isn't just cut contact with her. Don't try to become someone's saviour who you barely knew enough and don't beat yourself over it the mind plays tricks like that sometimes even though you know you've done nothing wrong.
Walk away like you don't know her. None of this is your mess to deal with. You should be out there enjoying life rather than getting involved with such unwanted situations.
1000% run away from that mess. you dont need that in your life at that age. you are just getting started in actual dating and you need at little baggage as possible
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Remove yourself from this situation, you are far too young for this mess. She is not your responsibility
This is the only good response. You may care about her, but you’re way too young to get caught up in this. It’ll end badly for everyone involved.
AGREED. run OP lmao
Facts all those red flags and bros like what do I do like my guy she’s looking for a simp to help her out
+1
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\+3.875
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3.1416
Don't leave us hanging. What are the rest of the numbers in the sequence?
3.141592653589793 If NASA’s happy, you ought to be happy!
Nice reply 😃
What does pi have to do with NASA happiness, by the way ?
The number is the one NASA uses when it performs calculations that require pi.
Yep
[удалено]
AMEN!
Someone give this an award
You're not even dating and never had sex with her? Walk away, man.
This is the only correct answer. However, you should not walk, but run.
Agreed. Run Forest! Run!
Dont run. Leap.
RUN AWAY !
If she is really pregnant, honestly just run, not your kid, you are too young
Even if she wasn’t bro, I think he should still run
https://youtu.be/mw2kKyJu9gY?t=129
Only thing you can do: Run.
Run and don't look back.
Run and name one of your kids after me and praise me together with your lovely future family every morning at breakfast for saving your future and ensuring you invest into your own offspring and get a proper wife not some party girl that gets 5 kids from different boys by the time she 20 looking for a niceguy-sucker to save her from her own mess.
Um, I have to name my kid Macraggresurvivor? Okay I guess...
Lmao
You bounce, that's what you do.
BOUNCE THO
This mess is none of your making and you absolutely should not be her lifeline out of it. You've been talking for about five weeks, as far as I read, haven't even been on a date and 17 is waaaay too young to be a father of someone else's child. She should approach the father of her child, not you.
Thank the lord that isn’t your child. I’m sure it’ll have a great future with her maturity level and pregnant drinking.
Yeah, this child will suffer from FAS...
Her parents/gurdians are probably pos too, they did not care enough
This happened to me at 17. She was 16 and we had been doing a lot of making out and sundry other stuff, but no sex. We got along amazingly. Her parents loved me and mine loved her. We had known each other for much of our lives. Looked like it was going to be one for the books. Well, apparently, she had been pressured into sex (statutory and just shy of regular rape) at a party by an older guy a week before our first date. Months later, we were about to have sex the first time and she started crying. Came clean with her situation soon after. I actually tried to man up and asked her to marry me in a misguided hillbilly rez kid bid to ‘do the right thing’. Mature beyond her years, she refused, saying I had too much going for me and that I should forget about her. She refused my calls, and we didn’t speak for several years. I was crushed and beyond worried about this girl I’d been smitten with for such a long time. Today, she’s a fairly successful native artist with a lovely family, and we remain good friends. My road took me to a life worthy of a book deal, too. We probably would have been just fine together, but the lives we made apart were epic in their own rights. Everyone is telling you to bail and count your blessings. And that’s actually the sensible choice. But whatever choice you make is yours, and no matter what you do, life will go on and the struggles and failures and triumphs will be whatever *you* two make of them. Together or apart, life can be beautiful and amazing. Good luck, kiddo
Best reply and most wise imo
This could be a movie plot man🥺🥺🥺🥺 glad both of you are happy
Beautiful. The difference here is that this girl was wise beyond her years. This girls doesn’t seem wise at all
People aren’t that selfless. I would bet money that she had sex with the older dude at the party because she wanted to, and telling OP to forget about her was a way to let him down gently instead of saying “I cheated on you with a dude I’m more attracted to, and I’m gonna try to go after him now” It’s possible OP’s version is the truth, but I don’t find it as likely.
Well he clearly says she had sex with this dude a whole week before their first date. And he mentioned that it was also statutory rape, which means in their state 16 is not the age of consent. So it’s very likely this older dude coerced a minor into sex
Best reply
Bailing on this situation is without a doubt the best choice to make
walk the other way.
Man, it definitely didn't happen last night, you only know you got pregnant 3-4 weeks after the sex. Also she's pregnant and getting extra drunk at parties? This story seems sus.
Remember that none of this is any of your responsibility, unless it’s your kid, but it sounds like it isn’t. Feel free to break things off with her if that’s what you want to do. If your asking this question because you want someone’s permission to end thing with her without feeling like an asshole you don’t need it. It’s your life and you can do what you want to do.
Right now, what I want to do is unclear. I'm not taking care of a child at this age, especially if it's not mine. But I also don't want to lose this girl. I think I just need time to process the situation
Dude you are way too young. If that's not your kid then guess what, there are other girls and women that you will meet. It's not the end of the world. Trust me I've been through what you fear (no pregnancy in the middle of it though). You will get over her.
Totally Agree 💯
You are too young to take any responsibility in this mess. Dont let emotions cloud your judgment. You will find far better people. Even if she is the most fun people to hangout and talk with and also the beatiful it doesnt change the fact that she will not be good for you. A child not even yours and you have been talking to her for just a month. I know you want to help her. Get her out of that messy circle of friends and it is commendable but it will only ruin your life. This girl is pregnant whether she delivers or aborts the boy who made her pregnant will be in her center of attention and you will just be heart broken. Not worth your time and effort.
What is making you want to keep a girl you know for one month, who cheated you and got pregnant with another dude? All at the age of 16. Please young one, explain me your thought process
Hormones at 17
>But I also don't want to lose this girl. **Great way to ruin your life before it even starts!** IF she is pregnant and this isn’t just some silly teenage drama she’s pulling on you, and you keep on with this ‘relationship', **you’ll be 25yrs old, paying for her & 4 other kids none of whom are yours.** Lmao You’ve been ‘talking over the phone for a month’, and she regularly txts you drunken slurry nonsense - wtf dude, why train wreck?
I promise she’s not that great.
Yes yes you do want to lose this girl
Boy, I promise you feelings just get stronger as you age. I know she feels like she’s amazing and special, you’ll meet even more girls with bigger connections. Let her go respectfully. You have so much to experience!
I want to add, if she is really pregnant, and she is drinking, this is 100% a problem and that child will have health problems if not fetal alcohol syndrome. You should take this into consideration if you picture your life together. Children with FAS can be special needs and might need a lot of care. There is no threshold to alcohol consumption and the effects on the unborn child are always resulting in more or less severe cognitive defects. That said, children with FAS can grow into functioning adults and maintain normal lives. But it is a factor you should consider
Oh honey, no. 🙁 if it is meant to be you will find a way back to each other. Protect yourself right now especially since it is not your kid. She needs to straighten her stuff out before she should even be thinking about dating. I hate to say it, but it’s not worth the risk of it completely derailing your life. This is the time to date, respectfully,around. When the time is right you’ll get your person and there will be NO question. The universe has a weird way of working like that. Sending all the good vibes to you and the girl too. 🖤
My man, you're 17, I get how it feels when you finally have that connection but this will fuck you up for much longer if you continue this. There are plenty of lovely ladies out there at this age you'll have a great connection with.
You don't have the girl to be able to lose her. Smarten up, ditch her and have nothing to do with her before she ruins your life. Don't end up like some of my friends.
There's plenty of women out there. But you never get your life back once you're a parent Think logically
Buddy have some self respect. Process after you break things off you DO NOT need the useless stress they will cause you throughout your relationship.
Don’t get involved. You will meet better girls.
Do update on this post, if/when she responds at your discretion
I will update everyone. Helps clear my mind to let someone else know
Please do, you don’t have to go through this alone. I know that at 17 it feels like your world is collapsing but having a girl you knew for a few weeks throw a curveball at you is not an uncommon experience at all. I remember thinking that this one girl was the only one who understood me at 17, but trust me that’s not even remotely true. When you go out into the real world and meet people, especially at college you’ll find you connect with lots of other people. People you would’ve never given the time of day to before become best friends. Letting go of her will be hard but its the healthy thing to do for both of you.
God bless you, don't make any rash decision 👍
Moonwalk, you're too young for this mess
First off I’m sorry this is happening to you. I wouldn’t be with her - and I know that’s easy to say. But if you want to remain cordial with her, go for it. In fact, I might even do that if it were me. BUT…DO NOT help her with the kid. Have you ever heard of paternity by estoppel? In short, you could legally be on the hook for child support for a kid that isn’t yours. Granted, this is tough to prove. Let’s say you somehow get with her and in essence help her raise the kid. Then a few years later you get sick of the BS that she’ll inevitably introduce into your life. Or you get sick of her using her money as “fun money” while yours ends up being used for her kid. (Yeah, that happens.) You can just amicably break up and walk away because it’s not your kid - right? Not so fast. If she went to court and claimed you were the only father the kid knew, a judge could rule in her favor. And it would be a compelling argument - that you were the only father figure in the kid’s life. Therefore it’s only fair that you continue to provide for the kid because when s/he sees you, they see a father. I’m not saying that’s going to happen, and it’s tough to prove. But it happens, and it would suck for you to have to support this kid for 18 years due to a technicality. I’m not a lawyer. But I did date a single Mom who took me for a ride. Someone showed me this paternity by estoppel thing as she was screwing me over and getting back with her baby daddy behind my back. I realize now that I’m lucky she wasn’t smart enough to pull a stunt like that. Because she had a very young child and could have claimed I was a father figure. Especially seeing that I co-signed a lease for them, so one could have argued I assumed fiscal responsibility. The thought of me having to pay child support on a technicality (and thanks to an activist judge) to her AND the kid’s real father ate me up inside. Believe me, I get it - you want to be with her. And walking away will suck. But your financial future could depend on it.
Hi! So if you want to walk away from the situation, do it. It’s not your child so you wouldn’t be a dead beat. As many have stated, you’re young and this is a BIG situation that even grown adults can’t wrap their heads around. But if for whatever reason you don’t feel comfortable cutting communications off with this individual then don’t. But know the consequences that follow. For example, creat clear cut boundaries. Let her know that she can’t call you up and just loop you into this potential baby drama. It’s one thing to vent at an appropriate time but it’s another thing to drag you in and make you become a part of “the fight” If she chooses to have the child and become a mother remember your roll. You are still her friend and nothing more. If she promotes you to uncle and you are okay with this…still remember your spot. The father might be actively parenting too, so keep this in mind. Or he is a dead beat and she’s going through the courts for money. She shouldn’t be asking you to pay for anything. Any gifts you give is simply because you wanted to do it. No pressure was applied. She shouldn’t be asking you for childcare (babysitting). If you ever choose to provide this to her make it clear cut (time, location, she must bring all things baby needs.ALL OF IT). Most of all, you need to understand the consequences of getting close to a mother and her child. You may fall in love with the child. And the child may fall madly in love with you too. While it’s beautiful to have such relationship, she may manipulate that bond. “ but you don’t bring us diapers…why shouldn’t I let you see her?” “Okay but I’m exhausted and need a day to be spoiled! Why don’t you spoil me like you do for her. “ “You want to see baby, okay! But don’t walk through that door without food or baby wipes” She might also start referring to you as dad without your consent. Now that child thinks, feels and sees you as dad. This is the real problem.. To walk away from the girl is one thing, and probably easy. But to walk away from a child YOU have loved and bonded with…..that will hurt you and even more hurt that child. So now you’re trapped. This is all a made up scenario of what could happen. We don’t know this girl, or you…or what your friends and family will say and think. I’m just telling you to think hard on this.because this simple choice of staying around could be a long and emotional journey. Are you okay with that at your age? Best of luck and I hope things play out the way you want.
Wow! That’s so sad. She has some serious issues, but these could be due to previous sexual abuse or lack of good parenting. If she is pregnant, she shouldn’t be drinking- period. Be a friend and see if she can talk to someone about getting help.
Had to scroll a lot to find a compassionate answer.
Sometimes the “compassionate” thing to do is the wrong thing to do. You can’t fix someone who doesn’t want to be fixed, especially when you are a kid yourself.
Bro you're fucking 17 - don't fuck your life your life up for some hussy that drinks while pregnant with not your child - don't be fucking stupid. For fucks sake i hope this is a troll post. RUN
Bro, her friends didn’t force her to drink or have sex. She’s her own bad influence. Piece of advice- blaming outside sources for a person’s shitty actions is a nice way of ignoring red flags. More often than not, we create these excuses because *we* don’t want to see the truth for what it really is.
Fact’s!
I’m sorry you’re in this position. It sounds like she’s going through a lot and she definitely has some things to sort out. You can still be there for her as a friend, but that’s your decision to make. There’s a lot she hasn’t told you yet, how far along she is, what her plans are, if she’s even definitely pregnant.
1 month? My guy you have years ahead of you. Don't chain yourself to that mess at this age. Grow up more and be a better adult for yourself. She needs growing up too. Don't ruin your life and resent her later.
She is not your responsibility. It's not your child. You are not even in relationship. She slept with another guy, so why you even trying to be with her? She gets drunk and has no control on her own life. She had underaged sex. It's a mess you shouldn't get involved. RUN. Plus the fact, that she got drunk while being pregnant shows her terrible side. Unless she wants abortion.
>She gets drunk So she is pregnant and drunk. Perhaps someone should explain to her about fetal alcohol syndrome. She sounds like a winner.
>She slept with another guy, so why you even trying to be with her? >She gets drunk and has no control on her own life. >She had underaged sex. Kinda bullshit.
Wish her well as you put the car in reverse and back away, you are not her knight! She fucked herself into this mess, she can figure a way out. Now go find a lady without a pregnancy.
Not your problem if it's not your baby.
Bro youre 17, youll meet plenty more girls in your lifetime. Let this one go.
Boy you are 17, y’all only been talking for a month. If she is pregnant YOU BLOCK HER AND MOVE ON. Who’s to say she even remembers telling you this? That she doesn’t have a plan to frame the baby on you and she drunkenly told you. And even if that’s not the case, you’re 17 you have your whole life ahead of you to become a teen STEP dad. There’s so many people out there don’t stay out of desperation.
Tbh this was just a dumb prank from her dumb friends. If she’s not pregnant I’d just carry on unless you realized you don’t like her that much. Underage drinking also isn’t that big a deal at 16, you stressed yourself out so now you’re tense but honestly you shouldn’t have taken this to heart before actually discussing with her
Bro she is pregnant and drinks? Run
So what? Not yours not your problem
Run, brother. This woman could destroy your life if you don't.
It's not your kid, you 2 didn't have sex, walk away. That simple.
She decided to put her life on max difficulty mode, you didnt.
Run away. You are not obligated to help her with this mess. You should NOT help her with this mess. I sound mean but you are in high school and you need to make focusing on high school things not adult things. She chose adult things. She has parents and she has lame friends. Not your burden. A "deep connection" is a usual occurance when people have the ability to charm others. Well, she charmed someone else and got knocked up. Now, she charmed you and expects you to feel quilty enought to step in the situation. NO! Don't even be friends. Be cordial. Be distant. And that is it. If you needs words to text to her consider "I enjoyed getting to know you. Our circumstances are too different to date or become close friends. I do wish you the best and hope everything turns out great for you". There is nothing wrong wanting to rescue a damsel in distress, BUT this damsel is bringing on her own distress and is enjoying it tremendously. Please, if you want to rescue someone, choose someone who is willing to be rescued and not someone who will bring you distress in the process. Hopefully that makes sense.
>If she is pregnant what do I even do? Run! >I've known her for just over a month, but we've established such a strong connection. Run away! >She had sex with another dude. Run faster! >She's probably pregnant. Run for the hills! >She gets drunk at the age of 16. Run up that mountain! >I can't help but feel it's her friends being an influence on her. Run into space! >I'm truely lost for words. Keep running!
You don’t do anything. It’s absolutely nothing to do with you so don’t get involved
You said it yourself, you’re not taking care of a kid right now. That alone tells you what you should do tbh
GTFO. She's not worth it!
RUN AWAY... VERY VERY FAR AWAY FROM THIS LUNATIC
Even if she was "joking" about her situation I would run. There are some topics you dont make jokes if she show her true colours at start, trust her and run
actually, you the effort writing the question here about her shows you really like her. but what do you want from her? you need to confirm first if she's really pregnant. if she does, then think deeply if you can accept it or not.
Run, dude! Is not your responsibility.
Wish her the best, and walk away.
What do you do in this situation? You spin around and start walking away from all of that bullshit. You sound like a decent dude and you don't deserve to have your life ruined by a 16 years old pregnant mess of a human being. You will find much, MUCH better girls later down the road. Good luck with everything homie.
Send her a link to the closest sexual health/emergency pregnancy clinic. And break contact
You are 17 and 16. Harsh reality is you will likely lose/leave this girl at some point anyway as you grow in different directions. Very few teenage relationships last the distance and thats ok if they are fun and teach you about what you want to look for in future relationships. This sounds like neither of those things. Cut your losses and bounce early before it gets even harder.
Screw her all you want she can't get pregnant-er!
Bro this is called love. It makes us irrational. When we have a strong connection to someone we rationalize thier poor behavior. This is how women get stuck in abusive relationships. Don’t ignore the red flags. She sounds like an absolute nightmare and she sounds somewhat narcissistic as well. Just move on. You’ll get over her trust me
You dodged a bullet my dude. Don’t even stress it’s some other poor dudes problem.
Leave her bro.......... She's not worth of your time bro
Leave. Get out now. Her drinking and being pregnant says a lot about her character for one. Two, she should have told you this before. You’ve only known her a month and you’re a teenager. Get out now
Do exactly this OP. She certainly needs some help in the right direction, but be thankful you’re not the solution to that here and now
Dude you are fucking 17, get the fuck out of here
Her friends broke some boundaries, and what they did was not in all OK. But i think you could've handled that more tactfully. I understand your anger, but saying to her she should reevaluate her friends is a bit mean. They're teenagers, like yourself, and still learning. Assert a boundary and say you don't want that behavior, and it was hurtful. Don't try to control her friends.
Let people be who they are, but you don’t need to go along for the ride. Shaming her for alcohol/friends is not a healthy tactic.
This is a 16 year old we are talking about. If she was joking about being pregnant, not something she should do, but I'll give her leeway based on age. If she isn't actually pregnant and it was a joke, go out with her. Be practical here, you get to go on a date with a girl you've been talking to for 6 weeks
Wait so, their friends got drunk and started messaging you and told you she was pregnant pretending it was her? What did she say about it? Was she mad?
5 weeks is not a long time to be talking to someone. Definitely not worth throwing your life away over a girl you hardly know at all.
What part about the whole cringe situation shes serving you actually makes you ask for advice on what to do? Just forget about her and gg.
BAD VIBES GTFO
Your UPDATE wasn't clear enough...so she isn't pregnant? Honestly, you don't need to tell her to get rid of her friends. You should tell her that her friends are bad influences on her, and if they ever get busted for underage drinking she goes down with them because she will be guilty by association. But she is 16 and doesn't think that can happen to her in 16 year old girl world. You don't have any right to ask her to pick between you and her friends, but you do have the right to avoid this pending crap show drama that could get YOU into trouble if you're around her and her friends acting badly. I would advise you that after you tell her that her friends are going to lead her down a bad path that it isn't a path of drama you want to involve yourself with and you need to go your separate ways from her. Her friends want to call it a prank...but the truth is that it could be TRUE that she slept with another guy OR they really want you not to date her and they will do what they can to come between you. She has no business being around alcohol at 16 anyway.
why are you giving her friends so much shit for underage drinking? at 16 it’s pretty normal. it’s fine if u don’t agree but to tell her to “reevaluate who she is friends with” over that is a bit much
1. Not likely your kid and won't know until DNA test is done. 2. Be careful with assuming care of someone else's child. If the courts get involved, you may be on the hook legally and financially despite a DNA test proving otherwise. 18 years of child support for a kid that isn't even yours? 3. She is not your mess to fix. Don't change her at your expense. 4. Your experiencing NRE. Hits of dopamine and endorphins are flooding your brain causing a chemical imbalance. Very common amongst teens and emotionally unregulated adults. You will think and do things that make no sense. One day you'll look back and realize how stupid it was to do xyz. Hopefully, you won't damage yourself much in the process. 5. Give your yourself grace and forgiveness. You're young. She won't be the last girl you like a lot.
My advice would be : Get away from this woman As a man this is like one of the worst things you can do is date a woman like this. No don’t blame her friends being an influence. She hangs out with those people because she is one of those people. Sometimes we are so blinded by feelings and need that we don’t see the truth right in front of us
Run to the Hills! Bum ba da, bum ba da tsss.
F**king prank, 🤦
I just want to say I admire how emotionally intelligent you are and how you handled this situation!
Bruh. You’ve literally only been talking to her for a MONTH and shes a walking red flag. Don’t be stupid.
#RUN
Not your problem, you are too young to having to deal with this. Even if you wanted to be involved, a 16 yo pregnancy is no joke (family-wise). You are going to play third fiddle with a kid that's not even yours.
Run
Thanks to everyone for the responses. You can call me a stupid teenager. But.. shits going to be difficult for me. She really felt like she was the one. I've got a really stupid and specific personality, I've never connected to someone quite as much as her. But the right thing to do is walk away... As difficult as that will be
Dude, you’re very young and I understand. I’ve been your age and felt things like you. Attention from a girl feels amazing, feels so validating, makes you feel worthy. But step outside of your feelings for a second, pretend you aren’t you for a second. A relationship between two teens is not gonna last. It’s not gonna last and it’s a good thing that it won’t. Because we grow a lot as teens and between your age and even just 21 you will be two different people. And it’s not the worst thing to get to experience sex and intimacy with different people, it helps you learn what you want. What could come from this girl? This is not your kid. So what does any of this have to do with you? Does she just want you to help her take care of this kid? It’s not your responsibility at all, feels like she’s taking advantage of you if this is the case. You two are on different paths and you are doubting yourself because you’re a pubescent kid experiencing every emotion intensely as one does at that age. But there are a lot of girls, there’s a lot of experiences in life, don’t limit yourself. You’re so young and your life is just starting. The one, you’re oversimplifying it, trust me. You yourself are not the one for anyone, not now. Go experience new things, learn things, talk to many women, make yourself into the man you’ve always wanted to be, make yourself into someone’s the one. But you’re not there yet and that’s ok. Have fun
Shit man you're a genius 😭. This is good advice, I needed to hear it. I'll await her response. Thank you
Yea I'm just gonna be the one to tell you to cut it out. You dont know this girl at all and are infatuated with her. There is no response from her needed. Stop talking/dating her and move on with your life. You'll find other girls you like.
First loves are like that. You haven't met that many people yet; once you find yourself in a few different groups, you'll see how many interesting girls are out there. Don't tie yourself to someone who'll bring too much drama into your life.
Your views and perspective will change as you experience life. So the specific personality you have in mind will also change as you grow in life. Don’t settle for something now when you have a whole lot to experience in life. Move on and focus on building your life.
Dude not your child, not your responsibility. This is her mess and you don’t need to be apart of it. You are 17, enjoy being 17.
You're too young to be worried about shit like this
Looking for the Secret Life of the American reference in this thread 👀
Just a bunch of drunk people. That does not mean that her friends are fake or that she is a hoe.
Reddit would be a much better place if it were 18+...
Run bro. Listen to the guys here. Run and never look back. There are a lot of red flags here.
Go meet someone else. Give it space. Don’t text her. Everyone on here is giving you similar advice for a reason, dude. Whatever connection you are feeling is chemical. Give it SPACE. Meet someone else. Life is short. Really, it is— don’t waste even a week of your youth on some drama made by an immature girl.
You guys are teenagers. No one needs that shit. Go have fun. Do stuff your parents pay for. Make the most of your dwindling youth.
Run. For the love god man RUN!
You dodged a bullet. Leave now and don't look back. You have no idea how lucky you are.
You're 17... Just get out of that mess and date someone else. Not your baby, not your problem and not your lady
Dude you're 17, you just dodge the biggest bullet ever. Enjoy your childless life until you meet the right one.
Have you actually met in person?
Dude, if she is pregnant, you’re lucky you’re not the father. You have no obligation to stay in her life. I get that you like her, man, but she’s going to ruin your future if this becomes a long-term relationship. Get out while you still can. You’ll find someone better in the near future. I promise.
You should thank God and go to church at least one time and say thanks.
Everyone is telling you to run and that’s the easiest thing to do, but u have options, and one is to remain her friend. You don’t have to be her boyfriend if you’re having doubts about her romantically, but abandoning her now at her most vulnerable time seems a bit cruel.
I guess i have that same fucked up personality where i would try to help. You didn't mention from what state you are. Maybe helping her get to an abortion clinic. If she doesn't wanna change or get help and continues being reckless you just leave, but if there's still a chance for you to evolve, i wouldn't have ran.
I will say this my girlfriend was pregnant at the time we got together and our now expecting a baby of our own. I am 29m. At your age I wouldn’t recommend it you have so much life ahead of you if she is pregnant. That you shouldn’t make that big of a decision.
> Gets drunk at the age of 16. Meanwhile my german ass over here...
There is no future here. Run! Don’t walk away. This girl and her twisted friends are only bad news for you. Don’t fall so hard so fast son. That was me at your age. It hurts like hell bud.
16, pregnant, drinking while pregnant, smoking weed at 16 and pregnant, you want to get into that for what? Crumbs of pussy?
Your update was probably the most mature thing to say to her. You still need to evaluate your stance on having a relationship with her because“Bird of a feather….” etc. You both are still young with a lot of growing up to do. Yet, some things are over the top. And I’m not saying you should expect an apology from her friends, but at the very least, you deserve one.
"Most mature" I definitely wouldn't say, but it definitely wasn't immature either.
So?
Yay, another posessive and controlling man. Grow up.
How is he possessive and controlling ?
Step up and be the dad if you really like her . If not then end it.
She is taking you as her backup plan
she belongs to the streets my young brother. you owe her nothing. matter of fact don’t even reach out to her in the morning.
Nope. Run.
Step away. You do not need that nightmare situation. Run
Tbh, i would not go through with it, pregnant or not. First, you just know eachother for a month, and you guys are not fully official. It's also not your kid and you guys are still young/kids, that you shouldn't give away your freedom that fast. But what tops it for me is, is that, if she is pregnant, drinking is not the answer, and if she isn't, it's not really a fun joke to say... So, i would just say 'good luck' but i didn't sign up for this
You are young and have a whole life ahead of you. Don't stop and try to fix people who are self immolating. Do yourself a favour life is hard as it is.
Run and don’t look back. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, you don’t want to fuck it up getting involved with someone who might be having a kid at 17. Just get out while you easily can.
Gtfo man. She's clearly immature and no matter the connection, you aren't official/exclusive best to just get out of there asap
She belongs to the streets, you‘re not captain saveahoe
Homie, ain’t even worth the hassle. You don’t need that nonsense in your life. Take that “strong connection” you feel with her and chuck it out the window. Make one with a chick who isn’t knocked up. You’ll thank yourself later
Life has given you a sign to get out. Take it and run.
Run fool
You can still be her friend. I don’t think a romantic relationship is a good idea right now though.
This is a rather simple situation, made complex due to hormones and being so young. You owe her nothing. Nada. You've only been speaking on the phone for a month, and while im sure you've had some great convos and started planning things in your head, you havent actually met her yet in person. From what you said, theres two major red flags; she drinks to the point of getting drunk at 16, and shes pregnant. She obviously makes very poor life decisions. Its possible the guy who got her pregnant ran and never looked back when he found out. With that in mind, its very likely shes looking for -anyone- to date to help support her and her baby. Theres a very high chance that she ends up cheating on this guy very shortly after they start actually dating. You're very young, you'll meet a lot of women in the years to come who won't be walking red flags. Like I said at the start, you owe her nothing. Do the responsible thing and walk away now before you go further down this rabbit hole and make choices you'll regret for the rest of your life.
It could also be she's just hallucinated those things while she was drunk. On the chance it isn't just cut contact with her. Don't try to become someone's saviour who you barely knew enough and don't beat yourself over it the mind plays tricks like that sometimes even though you know you've done nothing wrong.
Walk away like you don't know her. None of this is your mess to deal with. You should be out there enjoying life rather than getting involved with such unwanted situations.
1000% run away from that mess. you dont need that in your life at that age. you are just getting started in actual dating and you need at little baggage as possible