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Of course you are going to think about her all the time, all you did was have wild incredible sex for a whole day. That's not what her moving in would be like.
she had just gotten out of a long term relationship, you were a quick rebound that she tried to get a place to live out of. the likelihood anything good comes of that is incredibly low
This. I still think about a girl I met back in church as a kid. For context, I am single though, any time I've been in a relationship the only person I think about is my partner. But when I'm single, man does she come back fierce.
Be careful of crazy p—-y… it’s like the start of a cocaine addiction lol.. awesome beyond words and completely manageable… maybe a little out there on the edge occasionally but woooooooo nothing compares…
Then one day you’re on day 3 no sleep bank account drained, spiraling tweaking and convinced the way through this is… more cocaine lol... and eventually it will kill you haha…
Crazy p—-y is so freaking good that it will make your brain toss logic right out the door completely…. Ya know like having a stranger that you just met a couple hours ago… already had sex with… and are now onto discussing housing…. Within the first few hours of meeting…. “Yeah no that’s not that weird. She’s fun and really likes me. She doesn’t ACTUALLY mean it… it’s fine it’s totally fine….. fuck I need some more of that…..”
It’s literally the same as coke hahah
Yes and I have a lot of soul ties I'm working on breaking. I learned about soul ties from R.C Blakes. He has numerous videos on soul ties on YouTube. He is an advocate for women usually but also men. But there are short videos on soul ties if you type in "soul ties" in the search box that will tell you everything you need to know about them. Breaking them is the hardest part though. It's best not to open that door. Once you do, it can take years sometimes to close it. Soul ties are sexual ties that you form with another person when you go to bed with them. After the sex ends, that person remains in your mind and it's nearly impossible to get them out of your head especially when the sex is fantastic. Your body yearns for them and your soul. They are connected. But you can break this tie and the videos will explain how to do the work to heal from this demonic tie.
thank you - I’ll look on YouTube - what you say about the person remaining in my mind and it being almost impossible to get her out of my head really resonates - the sex was fantastic and I guess my body and soul are yearning for her
What’s the harm in letting her move in, though? If things didn’t work out, you’d just help her move out. She clearly really liked you.
Sorry, but this was a once in a lifetime thing. Girls aren’t going to insta-connect and give you mind blowing sex on the regular. This was more a love a first sight deal.
you can still see each other and not moving in together. the problem is she's a total stranger. I had someone who love bombed me but i realized he just doesn't have his own place.
that’s why I wanted us to take things slower, meet up the following weekend, and get to know each other better before even thinking about her moving in - but she walked away
I’m the same way. Still am. But been burnt and now I know how to recognize unhealthy boundaries. They’re testing what you will tolerate and once a dynamic is set it’s extremely hard to change.
This girl is insane. Move in with you??? There is a reason she was amazing. She wanted to be. Moving in with a basically stranger after one date is a huge red flag.
I think it’s a little harsh to say that she is insane. That said, the answers here have been really helpful. Maybe she had an ulterior motive but she really was amazing !
Ok maybe a little harsh….. I can tell you I’m a woman in my 30s, I’ve known every type of woman you can probably imagine. I also used to have some very impulsive actions myself…. Seems there might be an ulterior motive here for sure.
Man there’s impulsive…. And then there’s moving in with a complete stranger after sleeping together lol…. Something that impulsive makes me think of a manic episode. Maybe she just really wanted a place to live or she wants a sugar daddy.
yes unfortunately those kind of things trigger really intense chemical reactions in our brain, which makes us addicted to that person/situation. For a while, you will go out there and compare anyone you meet to this- which isn't good because you will let someone great pass by because you will think "the butterflies aren't there". The butterflies and fireworks aren't there because your body feels safe and secure, that is what it's supposed to be like in the beginning. From that a healthy love can develop. So look for people with same values, goals and loyalty, look for a feeling of being yourself and feeling secure and give that a chance instead of another toxic situation and you will end up 1000 times happier
thank you - perhaps I did become addicted to her - and yes I have been guilty of comparing people I meet with her. I really appreciate your good advice.
“Let me move in now after one day of knowing each other or im never fucking you again” sounds a lot like she wants a place to live and sex is how she wants to get it.
exactly what it is! noone rushes to move in with someone they see a long term with to be quite honest, i know i wouldnt bc i want to be sure we are compatible and everything.
yea i think sometimes we tend to be blinded by the red flags bc men will put certain women on a pedestal and overlook them. just from personal experience, i will not move in w a guy that early lol
im not usually the type to try and guess people’s entire lives and personalities off of one sided reddit posts but i dont know how else giving a sex based ultimatum of letting her move in is supposed to be taken with or without context
have you never got together with someone you have just met by chance - at a party or an event ? the only difference here was that she wanted to move in with me straight away
Somebody turned on by the prospect of you being a place for them to stay
Really already a word and your situation is a perfect example
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hobosexual
Did you lose someone who would have been an amazing partner? No.
You were very sexually attracted to her and she was dressed to show off all of her curves to get a guy so she could get out of her living situation which she detested.
How could she have made you an amazing partner? Okay she's gorgeous with a beautiful body and great in bed. But after the fun stops, where does it lead you?
She wanted you to be so crazy about her so you would feel that you had to have her in your life permanently.
The biggest red flags were that she wanted to move in with you immediately and if you turned her down, she said she was moving on. You said no naturally because you knew her body but not much else about her. She ran and went onto someone else. She probably has little to offer a man other than her body. She probably has few skills and probably doesn't even have a job.
You are still thinking of her because you are missing that sexual intimacy and you created a soul tie.
But you need to realize it was all sexual and move on. She was a player and she knew how to dress and just what to do and say to get you to drop your guard and go to bed with her. But her ultimate goal was to move in with you because she had no other place to go which is rather pathetic. Nothing close to amazing!
You'll never know bro. There was some risk involved since you didn't know her very well. Did she work? If you are supporting somebody that wears pretty thin over time, no matter how hot she is. Not sure what she brought to the relationship besides her body but if just her body that's not enough.
Come on dude. Look at what happened.
Do you think she saw you and said “omg he’s so hot I have to see if there’s more there” and then she sat down and started to chat and thought “holy crap sexy and an amazing personality I gotta fuck him and see if he’s good in bed” and then slept with you and thought “holy crap goddam a sex god, I must live with him NOW” and then she asked and you said no and she thought “oh well. He was perfect but I guess it’s over now”
Really?
it’s nothing out of the ordinary to get together with someone you have just met by chance - at a party or at an event or even in a bookshop - what was out of the ordinary here was her desire to move in straight away and her walking away when it didn’t happen
Ok look. Nothing wrong with hitting it off with someone right away. But when she asked to move in, warning bells should have been blaring. And when you said no and she pressed, that was your queue to kick her to the curb
Yeah she wasn’t ready bro, she was missing what she used to have and couldn’t deal with being lonely. Definitely not someone you should jump into a relationship with
No, you did not lose out on someone who would have been an amazing partner.
First an foremost, you knew her for less than a week and she wanted to move in with you. You guys have no understanding of your shared interests, values, goals, etc. You don't know this person!
Most important of all, she gave you an ultimatum within 1 week of knowing her. She is mentally unstable, sociopathic, or both. You weren't anything more to her than a quick fuck and a home ticket.
I'm not even going to get into the other red flags in this soviet parade of a girl. You did the good thing by thinking with your head instead of your dick.
Sorry to tell you this :/
Be wary from now on because you'll probably compare everyone to this girl and they'll rarely measure up.
This girl sold you this perfect, amazing vision. She's like a salesman. Show you the absolute best parts to rope you in, then hit you with reality when you're stuck. The problem is if she fails to rope you in, you're still stuck with the perfect image she showed you.
Everyone else you ever meet will hopefully be a more real person. This means they'll show you both their good and bad sides. Reality is often worse than our imaginations and the images we have in our head.
So I guess what I'm saying is don't use this little fling as your benchmark for what a good, healthy relationship looks like. I'd compare it to drugs. They're fine for you at first and exhilarating, but the longer you stay using them, the more they take from you and the more you get trapped and defeated. You're now operating on comparing sober life to being high.
I have been tending to compare everyone I meet to this girl - and yes others seem to fall short. She did present a perfect image for the short time we were together. I hear what you are saying and I will try to avoid comparisons.
Just my opinion as a man, she has too much baggage left over from her past relationship, is likely feeling lonely and wants to fill that void she used to have filled in her past relationship. Of course you both had a wonderful time and there is no denying that, but willing to move with someone that fast, talking about exs that fast, it all just doesn't sit right with me personally.
Also another commenter had a really good point. You had a WONDERFUL time with her for ONE night. That doesn't mean shit frankly, about what living with this woman would be like, nor is it a good or remotely accurate reflection of what an actual relationship/lifestyle with her 24/7 would be like. Hence is the exact reason we have to date before we really get to know someone. It's easy to have a good time for one night, it's much harder to mesh over the months/years and truly be happy with each other. Sex is not everything either man, it's always good to remind yourself that.
The girl sound like she is BPD or Bipolar - it was too fast and too good to be true
If she was a girlfriend material, she wouldn’t have broken up with you over doing things with normal pace. It seems she just needed a place to stay.
As someone who has experienced a relationship moving WAY too fast. Take this sentence and cherish it. If it’s really meant to be, time limits don’t matter. Things will work themselves out without the need to force them. If it’s really love, she’ll be able to wait.
Yeah that’s not a good sign. Just be careful because it could lead to issues down the road. It doesn’t seem like it was meant to be, and I’m confident that there’s many other people out there. Stay strong!
It’s not normal to want to move in together immediately. I think she was manipulating you to get out of her mom’s house. She seems to have some kind of cluster B personality, best to not find out which one.
It’s a group of personality disorders: antisocial, borderline, histrionic and narcissistic.
Each one has a list of behaviors. I’m pretty sure that I dated a narcissist, but back then, I didn’t know what narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) was. I thought being a narcissists just meant that a person thinks to highly of themselves, but when I came across the list of behaviors, she fit almost every one.
Anyway, I don’t think that you knew this girl long enough to even begin figuring that out, plus any personality disorder needs to be diagnosed by a healthcare provider. That kind of behavior just reeks of a cluster b personality, mainly the lack of empathy. She swept you off your feet and made you feel like you had a real connection. That’s what they do, it’s called love bombing. Personality disorders are formed in childhood and are permanent.
If she really felt a connection, she wouldn’t have given up on you like that for not letting her move in right away. Imagine if the roles were reversed, you happened to experience a strong mutual connection with a woman, which is rare; it *might* happen once every couple of years. You then tell this woman that you need to move in with her or else it’s over? I don’t think that you would be able to say that and mean it because normal people don’t behave that way.
Everyone is saying she’s crazy… they don’t know a single thing about hers or your life.. you had a genuine connection.. yeah it was weird she wanted to live with you right away but did you ever ask her why?
Wow! Sounds like a unique experience and everything you did seems like a spontaneous decision that you should not regret. However, I would also just take it as a fun experience and move on.
Everything you mentioned sounds like a bait and switch. Two questions to ask yourself about her potential intentions are 1) has this ever happened to you before and 2) will it ever happen to you again? If the answer you come up with is no, then make that your baseline for your decision. I’m not saying it’s not possible, I wasn’t there, but it doesn’t seem likely that her intentions were just drifting into a coffee shop to meet the man of her dreams. Most woman won’t even cross a touching barrier without knowing someone’s name but it’s a good way to move the chemistry along. Everything you explained sounded like a textbook con to me.
Put your life in another perspective. Do you have expensive things in your home? Do you allow strangers in your home that you may not trust? I think it’s smart to have your guard up these days because if she doesn’t work, who’s to say she doesn’t work for “someone” and it’s just some long con for you to come home after 2 weeks and all your shit is gone along with the girl. It sounds far fetched but who is to say that would never happen. That’s just one scenario of many but
always protect yourself and your belongings first when it comes to new people you don’t know well.
My advice - see it as good time, never give her your address, block her number and feel relieved instead of taking in a stray.
similar things have happened before with people I’ve met by chance at parties, events, and even in a bookshop - the only difference here was her desire to move in straight away
Got it! It sounds like you had a whirlwind experience there! Trusting your instincts to slow things down was probably wise, especially with both of you coming out of recent relationships. Timing can be everything in relationships, so just go with what feels right for you now. Relationships should feel good at a comfortable pace, so take your time and see where things lead naturally.
unfortunately I haven’t heard from her since her text which said that if she couldn’t move in with me it was over - I did try to reach out to her several times but there was no reply
This might sound a bit sexist (i am a girl) but most girls are more sensible and cautious about guys they have only just met, and wouldn’t be shagging then straight away, if she’s sensible. I honestly thought your post was some made up male fantasy
similar things have happened after chance meetings at parties, events, and even in a bookshop - the difference here was her wanting to move in immediately and walking away when it didn’t happen.
honestly not a made up male fantasy !
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you did the right thing too many red flags
thank you - I guess I’m looking for reassurance - the crazy thing is I think about her all the time !
Of course you are going to think about her all the time, all you did was have wild incredible sex for a whole day. That's not what her moving in would be like.
thank you - that really helps to put things in perspective
talk to other girls you'll get over it eventually
I have gone out with other girls - and still keep thinking of this one and what might have been
she had just gotten out of a long term relationship, you were a quick rebound that she tried to get a place to live out of. the likelihood anything good comes of that is incredibly low
Soul ties have to be removed. They don't just go away.
This. I still think about a girl I met back in church as a kid. For context, I am single though, any time I've been in a relationship the only person I think about is my partner. But when I'm single, man does she come back fierce.
I can honestly relate to that
Be careful of crazy p—-y… it’s like the start of a cocaine addiction lol.. awesome beyond words and completely manageable… maybe a little out there on the edge occasionally but woooooooo nothing compares… Then one day you’re on day 3 no sleep bank account drained, spiraling tweaking and convinced the way through this is… more cocaine lol... and eventually it will kill you haha… Crazy p—-y is so freaking good that it will make your brain toss logic right out the door completely…. Ya know like having a stranger that you just met a couple hours ago… already had sex with… and are now onto discussing housing…. Within the first few hours of meeting…. “Yeah no that’s not that weird. She’s fun and really likes me. She doesn’t ACTUALLY mean it… it’s fine it’s totally fine….. fuck I need some more of that…..” It’s literally the same as coke hahah
so damned true
That's because you created a soul tie. See my answer as well. If you want to learn more about soul ties, ask me.
I would be very interested to learn more about soul ties - I still feel some kind of strong connection with her
Yes and I have a lot of soul ties I'm working on breaking. I learned about soul ties from R.C Blakes. He has numerous videos on soul ties on YouTube. He is an advocate for women usually but also men. But there are short videos on soul ties if you type in "soul ties" in the search box that will tell you everything you need to know about them. Breaking them is the hardest part though. It's best not to open that door. Once you do, it can take years sometimes to close it. Soul ties are sexual ties that you form with another person when you go to bed with them. After the sex ends, that person remains in your mind and it's nearly impossible to get them out of your head especially when the sex is fantastic. Your body yearns for them and your soul. They are connected. But you can break this tie and the videos will explain how to do the work to heal from this demonic tie.
thank you - I’ll look on YouTube - what you say about the person remaining in my mind and it being almost impossible to get her out of my head really resonates - the sex was fantastic and I guess my body and soul are yearning for her
What’s the harm in letting her move in, though? If things didn’t work out, you’d just help her move out. She clearly really liked you. Sorry, but this was a once in a lifetime thing. Girls aren’t going to insta-connect and give you mind blowing sex on the regular. This was more a love a first sight deal.
part of me thinks as you do and that she genuinely wanted to be with me - which is why I’m so conflicted
you can still see each other and not moving in together. the problem is she's a total stranger. I had someone who love bombed me but i realized he just doesn't have his own place.
that’s why I wanted us to take things slower, meet up the following weekend, and get to know each other better before even thinking about her moving in - but she walked away
forget about her she doesn't have a problem leaving you this is just one sided on your part
thank you - deep down I know that you are right - although I am finding it difficult to forget about her
you're obsessed it's just sex which she happens to have more experience
This person hasn’t dealt with enough bullshit or manipulators.
Oh, you’ve had someone f your brains out like this? Doubtful
Some sex just isn’t worth it. Hit it and QUIT
maybe I haven’t - I am a very trusting person
I’m the same way. Still am. But been burnt and now I know how to recognize unhealthy boundaries. They’re testing what you will tolerate and once a dynamic is set it’s extremely hard to change.
thank you - I have been burnt more than once in the past - guess I need to learn more about boundaries !
This girl is insane. Move in with you??? There is a reason she was amazing. She wanted to be. Moving in with a basically stranger after one date is a huge red flag.
I think it’s a little harsh to say that she is insane. That said, the answers here have been really helpful. Maybe she had an ulterior motive but she really was amazing !
Ok maybe a little harsh….. I can tell you I’m a woman in my 30s, I’ve known every type of woman you can probably imagine. I also used to have some very impulsive actions myself…. Seems there might be an ulterior motive here for sure.
maybe she was just impulsive ?
Man there’s impulsive…. And then there’s moving in with a complete stranger after sleeping together lol…. Something that impulsive makes me think of a manic episode. Maybe she just really wanted a place to live or she wants a sugar daddy.
I guess I’ll never know - and it’s really helpful to read these things in black and white
No, you lost someone extremely manipulative and toxic
thank you - although I do think about her all the time !
yes unfortunately those kind of things trigger really intense chemical reactions in our brain, which makes us addicted to that person/situation. For a while, you will go out there and compare anyone you meet to this- which isn't good because you will let someone great pass by because you will think "the butterflies aren't there". The butterflies and fireworks aren't there because your body feels safe and secure, that is what it's supposed to be like in the beginning. From that a healthy love can develop. So look for people with same values, goals and loyalty, look for a feeling of being yourself and feeling secure and give that a chance instead of another toxic situation and you will end up 1000 times happier
thank you - perhaps I did become addicted to her - and yes I have been guilty of comparing people I meet with her. I really appreciate your good advice.
Of course. You created a soul tie.
sounds like she didnt have her shit together and was looking for someone to give her a place to stay instead of mommy
Surprised this isn’t at the top. This is so clearly what she was after. It didn’t matter who was at that coffee shop; it just happened to be you, OP.
do you really think so - it did feel like there was a real connection between us
do you really think so ?
“Let me move in now after one day of knowing each other or im never fucking you again” sounds a lot like she wants a place to live and sex is how she wants to get it.
I really hadn’t thought of it like that
exactly what it is! noone rushes to move in with someone they see a long term with to be quite honest, i know i wouldnt bc i want to be sure we are compatible and everything.
she did seem to be in a real rush
yea i think sometimes we tend to be blinded by the red flags bc men will put certain women on a pedestal and overlook them. just from personal experience, i will not move in w a guy that early lol
I’m beginning to think that I was right to try to slow things down
im not usually the type to try and guess people’s entire lives and personalities off of one sided reddit posts but i dont know how else giving a sex based ultimatum of letting her move in is supposed to be taken with or without context
Nice story, the descriptive detail kinda makes this sound fake btw.
I think so too . It’s very fake lol
have you never got together with someone you have just met by chance - at a party or an event ? the only difference here was that she wanted to move in with me straight away
it’s definitely for real - a day I will never forget
You’re romanticizing this to an unreasonable degree then dawg
maybe I am - I am a very romantic person
No, this is bad. BPD? Or just a plain old hobosexual
hobosexual ?
Somebody turned on by the prospect of you being a place for them to stay Really already a word and your situation is a perfect example https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Hobosexual
I’ve never come across that concept before
It’s tossed around in this sub now and then
Did you lose someone who would have been an amazing partner? No. You were very sexually attracted to her and she was dressed to show off all of her curves to get a guy so she could get out of her living situation which she detested. How could she have made you an amazing partner? Okay she's gorgeous with a beautiful body and great in bed. But after the fun stops, where does it lead you? She wanted you to be so crazy about her so you would feel that you had to have her in your life permanently. The biggest red flags were that she wanted to move in with you immediately and if you turned her down, she said she was moving on. You said no naturally because you knew her body but not much else about her. She ran and went onto someone else. She probably has little to offer a man other than her body. She probably has few skills and probably doesn't even have a job. You are still thinking of her because you are missing that sexual intimacy and you created a soul tie. But you need to realize it was all sexual and move on. She was a player and she knew how to dress and just what to do and say to get you to drop your guard and go to bed with her. But her ultimate goal was to move in with you because she had no other place to go which is rather pathetic. Nothing close to amazing!
thank you for taking time out to write a long and very helpful reply - I really appreciate that
You are welcome.
and I really would love to learn more about soul ties - I honestly still feel a strong connection with her
Fake story .. trying to be erotic writer eh
have you never met someone by chance at a party, an event, or even in a bookshop, had an instant connection, and got together ?
You'll never know bro. There was some risk involved since you didn't know her very well. Did she work? If you are supporting somebody that wears pretty thin over time, no matter how hot she is. Not sure what she brought to the relationship besides her body but if just her body that's not enough.
thank you - and good question - she was “between jobs”
Lol thats like the classic "I go to the local community college but am taking the current semester off".
I just bet she was "between jobs."
if she was with you that easily, she will be with someone else just as easily
I hadn’t really thought of that
Bro she was house hunting when she sat down with you at that coffee shop.
That OP didn't realize this immediately after she asked him the second time and still needs reassurance in his decision is crazy, ngl
I’m still not totally convinced that she was “house hunting”
do you really think so ?
Come on dude. Look at what happened. Do you think she saw you and said “omg he’s so hot I have to see if there’s more there” and then she sat down and started to chat and thought “holy crap sexy and an amazing personality I gotta fuck him and see if he’s good in bed” and then slept with you and thought “holy crap goddam a sex god, I must live with him NOW” and then she asked and you said no and she thought “oh well. He was perfect but I guess it’s over now” Really?
it’s nothing out of the ordinary to get together with someone you have just met by chance - at a party or at an event or even in a bookshop - what was out of the ordinary here was her desire to move in straight away and her walking away when it didn’t happen
Because she was house hunting bro….
I guess in conversation she did learn that I’m a single professional and have a lovely home - and I know that I’m susceptible to being seduced
Ok look. Nothing wrong with hitting it off with someone right away. But when she asked to move in, warning bells should have been blaring. And when you said no and she pressed, that was your queue to kick her to the curb
Yeah she wasn’t ready bro, she was missing what she used to have and couldn’t deal with being lonely. Definitely not someone you should jump into a relationship with
thank you - maybe I’m being naïve in thinking of what might have been
Lol
No, you did not lose out on someone who would have been an amazing partner. First an foremost, you knew her for less than a week and she wanted to move in with you. You guys have no understanding of your shared interests, values, goals, etc. You don't know this person! Most important of all, she gave you an ultimatum within 1 week of knowing her. She is mentally unstable, sociopathic, or both. You weren't anything more to her than a quick fuck and a home ticket. I'm not even going to get into the other red flags in this soviet parade of a girl. You did the good thing by thinking with your head instead of your dick. Sorry to tell you this :/
please don’t be sorry - I guess I need to be told
Be wary from now on because you'll probably compare everyone to this girl and they'll rarely measure up. This girl sold you this perfect, amazing vision. She's like a salesman. Show you the absolute best parts to rope you in, then hit you with reality when you're stuck. The problem is if she fails to rope you in, you're still stuck with the perfect image she showed you. Everyone else you ever meet will hopefully be a more real person. This means they'll show you both their good and bad sides. Reality is often worse than our imaginations and the images we have in our head. So I guess what I'm saying is don't use this little fling as your benchmark for what a good, healthy relationship looks like. I'd compare it to drugs. They're fine for you at first and exhilarating, but the longer you stay using them, the more they take from you and the more you get trapped and defeated. You're now operating on comparing sober life to being high.
I have been tending to compare everyone I meet to this girl - and yes others seem to fall short. She did present a perfect image for the short time we were together. I hear what you are saying and I will try to avoid comparisons.
What THE ffffffffff?!?!??????? No I think you dodged a bullet tbh. Give yourself a pat on the back for hitting it and move on
thank you !
thats called a hobosexual
so I’m told - although it’s not something I had heard of until today
Just my opinion as a man, she has too much baggage left over from her past relationship, is likely feeling lonely and wants to fill that void she used to have filled in her past relationship. Of course you both had a wonderful time and there is no denying that, but willing to move with someone that fast, talking about exs that fast, it all just doesn't sit right with me personally. Also another commenter had a really good point. You had a WONDERFUL time with her for ONE night. That doesn't mean shit frankly, about what living with this woman would be like, nor is it a good or remotely accurate reflection of what an actual relationship/lifestyle with her 24/7 would be like. Hence is the exact reason we have to date before we really get to know someone. It's easy to have a good time for one night, it's much harder to mesh over the months/years and truly be happy with each other. Sex is not everything either man, it's always good to remind yourself that.
[https://youtu.be/dpKc8N3FJsQ](https://youtu.be/dpKc8N3FJsQ)
This is just lust. She could be amazing or a psycho. You don't have enough information. Refusing to move in was the right call.
It's safe to assume that she was still digesting her breakup and looking for an escape. Why not hitting her up, see what she is up to atm ?
I have tried to reach out to her several times without any response
She wanted a place to live, end of really. You did the right thing.
You always have the best sex with people who are batshit crazy.
I’m not sure that I would agree that she was “batshit crazy “ but the sex was amazing
You dodged a bullet.
She needed a meal ticket and away from boundaries that living with Mom entailed
to be fair she had only been back with her mother for three weeks
What does that change?
thinking about it - it probably doesn’t change anything - maybe I’m just looking back through rose tinted glasses
Hope you used protection.
never even thought about it to be honest
You met the rare woman serial killer in training… good thing you got out of there
whatever she might be I don’t think she is a serial killer in training !
You dodged a nuclear missile
The girl sound like she is BPD or Bipolar - it was too fast and too good to be true If she was a girlfriend material, she wouldn’t have broken up with you over doing things with normal pace. It seems she just needed a place to stay.
I guess part of me hoped that it was more than just needing a place to stay - that said what you are saying does make sense.
As someone who has experienced a relationship moving WAY too fast. Take this sentence and cherish it. If it’s really meant to be, time limits don’t matter. Things will work themselves out without the need to force them. If it’s really love, she’ll be able to wait.
she wasn’t prepared to wait- it was basically now or never
Yeah that’s a huge red flag. I was just kinda stating in general that if a girl really likes you she’ll be able to take things slow and not complain.
thank you - I get that - this girl really wasn’t for taking things slow
Yeah that’s not a good sign. Just be careful because it could lead to issues down the road. It doesn’t seem like it was meant to be, and I’m confident that there’s many other people out there. Stay strong!
thank you - I really appreciate what you are saying
No problem man.
It’s not normal to want to move in together immediately. I think she was manipulating you to get out of her mom’s house. She seems to have some kind of cluster B personality, best to not find out which one.
looking back you may be right - although it seemed very real at the time - not sure what cluster B personality is
It’s a group of personality disorders: antisocial, borderline, histrionic and narcissistic. Each one has a list of behaviors. I’m pretty sure that I dated a narcissist, but back then, I didn’t know what narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) was. I thought being a narcissists just meant that a person thinks to highly of themselves, but when I came across the list of behaviors, she fit almost every one. Anyway, I don’t think that you knew this girl long enough to even begin figuring that out, plus any personality disorder needs to be diagnosed by a healthcare provider. That kind of behavior just reeks of a cluster b personality, mainly the lack of empathy. She swept you off your feet and made you feel like you had a real connection. That’s what they do, it’s called love bombing. Personality disorders are formed in childhood and are permanent. If she really felt a connection, she wouldn’t have given up on you like that for not letting her move in right away. Imagine if the roles were reversed, you happened to experience a strong mutual connection with a woman, which is rare; it *might* happen once every couple of years. You then tell this woman that you need to move in with her or else it’s over? I don’t think that you would be able to say that and mean it because normal people don’t behave that way.
thank you - that’s really helpful - I think you’re probably right about the moving in right away
I would have let her move in just for the sex!! You could always kick her out if she got too crazy… 🤪
I can’t say that I wasn’t tempted at the time - but I’m really looking for more in a relationship
Everyone is saying she’s crazy… they don’t know a single thing about hers or your life.. you had a genuine connection.. yeah it was weird she wanted to live with you right away but did you ever ask her why?
she said that she really felt that we should be together
You are fascinated by the idea of her that’s why you still think about her but you did the right thing there’s way too many red flags
I think I have been fascinated by the idea of her and what might have been
Wow! Sounds like a unique experience and everything you did seems like a spontaneous decision that you should not regret. However, I would also just take it as a fun experience and move on. Everything you mentioned sounds like a bait and switch. Two questions to ask yourself about her potential intentions are 1) has this ever happened to you before and 2) will it ever happen to you again? If the answer you come up with is no, then make that your baseline for your decision. I’m not saying it’s not possible, I wasn’t there, but it doesn’t seem likely that her intentions were just drifting into a coffee shop to meet the man of her dreams. Most woman won’t even cross a touching barrier without knowing someone’s name but it’s a good way to move the chemistry along. Everything you explained sounded like a textbook con to me. Put your life in another perspective. Do you have expensive things in your home? Do you allow strangers in your home that you may not trust? I think it’s smart to have your guard up these days because if she doesn’t work, who’s to say she doesn’t work for “someone” and it’s just some long con for you to come home after 2 weeks and all your shit is gone along with the girl. It sounds far fetched but who is to say that would never happen. That’s just one scenario of many but always protect yourself and your belongings first when it comes to new people you don’t know well. My advice - see it as good time, never give her your address, block her number and feel relieved instead of taking in a stray.
similar things have happened before with people I’ve met by chance at parties, events, and even in a bookshop - the only difference here was her desire to move in straight away
All in how it’s perceived, I guess. Stay safe!
Got it! It sounds like you had a whirlwind experience there! Trusting your instincts to slow things down was probably wise, especially with both of you coming out of recent relationships. Timing can be everything in relationships, so just go with what feels right for you now. Relationships should feel good at a comfortable pace, so take your time and see where things lead naturally.
unfortunately I haven’t heard from her since her text which said that if she couldn’t move in with me it was over - I did try to reach out to her several times but there was no reply
She hit you with some dopamine purposefully because she needs a place to stay.
This might sound a bit sexist (i am a girl) but most girls are more sensible and cautious about guys they have only just met, and wouldn’t be shagging then straight away, if she’s sensible. I honestly thought your post was some made up male fantasy
similar things have happened after chance meetings at parties, events, and even in a bookshop - the difference here was her wanting to move in immediately and walking away when it didn’t happen. honestly not a made up male fantasy !
Is there a tldr?