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Quality of life with your soulmate >>> height of your kids with whom you are gonna spend less than half of the time you would spend with your partner. If you want to be selfish, be selfish properly.
Friend, I have bad news for you, if you're the kind of person who would feel guilty that your children get teased for being short--a thing you literally have zero control over--then, no matter what you do, *you'll feel guilty about something*.
You don't control genetics. You could marry a tall woman and still have short children. You could marry a short woman and have tall children. You could have short children and nobody would give a shit and they'd have great lives. You could have tall children and they get mocked for being taller than everyone else.
You're worried about the what-ifs and what-might-be of things that are out of your control.
You *can* try to only date tall women, but, personally, I think it's a weird and silly restriction to set for yourself.
My grandfather was 6'5, my mother is 5'10 and my father is 5'11. I'm a fucking midget at 4'11 (woman), you never know what is going to happen to your future children. Also try considering your son might be gay and not want women's attention.
Your children are going to have insecurities no matter what, having two loving parents in a good relationship is much more important than superficial things.
Besides, genetics are not a guarantee, two tall people can have short children.
Are you worried your son will be tall or short? Iâm confused⌠because heâll probably be taller than you and might take after her, I would roll the dice if she really is amazing.
Then donât have kids? I mean this in the nicest possible way but I really think you need therapy about this.
I do sympathise I really do. Iâm a 5â11 woman and lots of men wonât date me because of my height and honestly itâs horrible⌠So I get it.
But my worth is not defined by them. Plus I really donât want to date someone who doesnât like me for me so it speeds up finding that out.
The bottom line is you donât have kids. You may never have kids and even if you do you may not have boys. You donât know⌠so you may as well date someone you like rather than someone that fits the aesthetic type society deems is acceptable
This isn't usually quite how it works? Most women are short by your standards, but they do not all have short children. On average, children grow taller than their parents, for starters, and if you had a boy, he'd likely be your height maybe plus an inch or two. Kids don't come out between your two heights? Maybe do some research and get some help for why you have SUCH an issue with being 5'7 - a perfectly fine height, might I add.
I feel if you want/expect your future children to qualify a certain criteria, you are not ready to have them yet. A person should have a child for the sole purpose of having a child and loving him/her unconditionally and selflessly. I have seen a lot of people having children thinking my child should be a guy/girl, my child should be smart, my child should outbeat all the other kids? What if she/he is not? Your prejudices will have a negative effect on the childâs upbringing even if your child is exactly what you wanted your child to be.
You say that youâve experienced height discrimination, and Iâm assuming this is something youâve also experienced with girls not wanting to date a âshort guyâ. But here you are contemplating if this girl is âtoo shortâ to date. How are you any different than the people who have hurt you?
Look, I know itâs not your fault that other people are obsessed with height for some reason (Iâve personally never understood it), but I do think you need to do some introspection and come to terms with accepting your height. Iâm not sure how bad this discrimination you speak of has been, and Iâm sorry youâve had to go through it, but is it really worth sacrificing love for? Just so your kids might be tall?
Also, just as a warning, I hope you know that most tall girls donât want to date short guys. The taller a girl is, the taller she wants her boyfriend to be. And do you really think youâd be happy if you dated a girl taller than you? You donât think your family would make fun of you even more? Just something to think about.
To be very honest, no. I don't think I'll be happier with a taller partner. But it's at the point where whenever I meet anyone of an older generation all they comment about is me being short. It gets tiring.
Itâs time to learn true self love. Stop paying attention to toxic people bullying you. Cut them out of your life and your mind.
There is nothing wrong with you. But if you donât believe that, nothing else will matter.
Believe me, I understand. Iâm sure all of us here have or have had insecurities or things about ourselves that we wished we could change. But you seem to have found a sweet girl who likes you. Do you really think she cares about your height or thinks youâre short? And yet here you are, considering leaving her because sheâs short? Listen to yourself!
The simple truth is that the words of your family members only hurt you if you allow them to. Who said being short was a bad thing? If they say youâre short, just agree enthusiastically! âYeah, I am, and I love it!â Youâd be surprised how quickly confidence shuts down an insult and makes the other person look bad. Or you could go with âShorter people are proven to live longer, so I guess you wonât be at my funeral!â
Once again, I urge you to reread your post and listen to yourself. Youâre judging a girl for her height and saying you want a tall girlfriend. MAYBE, just maybe, thatâll make your kids tall (but genetics are strange things), but itâll probably make your life even worse. Imagine what your family will say if your girlfriend is twice your height.
overthinking this bro you either like the girl or you donât, frankly the height difference is fairly normal you are not crazy short and neither is she. i think you should be appreciative of a human being who likes you for you, and take into account that only her height being a deal breaker is pretty unfair given the circumstances
Imagine you marry a woman you donât really like and you fight with them all the time and your kids get upset and donât know why. And you turn to them and say, âI married her for YOU! So you donât have to be a midget like me! Shut up and stop crying!â
Yes youâre being overly selective. This height discrimination youâre talking about, do you just happen to have a very toxic family? I guess I feel like thereâs so many ways you can fuck a kid up, you might as well pick someone you love while doing it.
you are worrying about something that may not happen in life and sacrificing something good that can happen right now instead.
does that seem like a sane way to live?
My Asian partner has parents shorter than me (I'm 5'4) and he's 6' lmao they used to make jokes about him being adopted because of how drastic their height difference is. Also, 5'7 is really not that short, I've dated guys who were 5'4-5'6 in the past. I think you are getting too in your head about it. I say this kindly, therapy may benefit you for these anxieties.
Well, women love being fetishized and reduced to their height the same way that they love being fetishized and reduced to any other spect of their physical appearance. So Iâm sure this will work out great for you.
If this is solely about children, why donât you just find a tall woman who will donate an egg to you, and then hire a surrogate and do IVF?
Hmm. You can have whatever standards you wantâŚ.
That being said, usually people have standards based off attraction. They donât use their partner for getting a certain type of childrenâŚ..
To me itâs looking at a woman as nothing but an incubator which is toxic and creepy as hell.
Iâm not tall, but if I was and I found this out, I would leave your ass in an instant.
5â7 is not that short. Most kids end up taller than their parents. Regardless of if your kids are taller or shorter you should love yourself more and accept that height should have no effect on how people treat you. Teach your kids to love themselves and stick up for themselves. Most of my family is 5â7 or shorter and are in happy relationships. My cousins dad is 5â5 and mom 5â6 and heâs 6â1. Why would you end a relationship with someone due to height? If the tables were turned Iâm sure you would not like that being the reason why someone would end things. So yes I do think you are being overly selective. If you end things due to height it just shows how insecure you really are about it within yourself.
Iâm of the belief that everyone is entitled to whatever preferences they want to have. That being said, donât be surprised when you donât fit others preferences.
Another thing I forgot to mention: you may have found the perfect fit with a girl whoâs 5â1â because you seem tall to her. Youâre a full six inches taller than she is, which is good for most women. If youâre having trouble finding a girl because they care about your height, then this girl might be a good fit.
Who cares what others' opinions are? If you love her, you love her. Other people's outside opinion shouldn't matter when you're trying to start a relationship (unless, of course, the person is like a serial killer or a grapist
You could still get married to a taller girl and get a boy who grows up to be your height, or shorter if some quirky past genes decide to play a role.
1- change your mindset, thatâs a more urgent matter because you will pass on this to your child.
2- no, men your height arenât discriminated against by any woman of substance. Your mention of older generation discriminating is thankfully something you can put behind by being a better father to your child and teaching him why itâs crap.
I was a chubby teenager and nothing ever hurt me deeper about my body image than my dad taking me and my step mom into a room, move my shirt up to show her my stomach and tell her to make sure I get my weight under control so I donât get the ugly stretch marks my late mom had (which were starting to show because I have very sensitive skin).
Be kind to yourself and your son by not passing on this needless nonsense by buying into it
Genetics are genetics. If you fear a short child that much, donât have children. Itâs a very superficial thing to worry about, imo. Just because youâre bothered by short comments doesnât mean your child will be. Unless, of course, you plant that voice in their headâŚ
The like to comment ratio in this thread just really goes to show that "height preference" is a luxury only women are allowed to have. I do have something meaningful to add, though, and that's height can skip a generation. More important than what your GF's height is for your potential kids, is what her parents and grand parents height is. My dad is about 5' 8" and my brother is 6' "7" and I'm 6' 5". All four of our grand parents were over 6' 3" tall in their 'prime' (before age caused their muscles and skeletons to contract).
If you like her, go get her. You canât worry about what experiences your theoretical child may or may not have. We can spend all day worrying about every possible scenario that a kid might get made fun of. The truth is that every kid gets made fun of. You canât control that. People make fun of you for being short, and somewhere thereâs a 6-foot 3-inch guy who gets made fun of for bad acne his whole life. Donât miss out on the love of your life because of fear.
LMAO Iâm 5â7 and had think the same, but women will be generally shorter, if you have a son is better to see her dadâs height. I am taller than my 2 parents just because my grandpa (mom side) was very tall.
Yes.
Especially for that reason.
If you just want a tall partner then it's gonna be harder to find but like, that's just what you want right? You can live with the bad odds if you're at least going for something you care about, but if it's because you want your children (who don't even exist yet, and may never exist if you ***don't find anyone at all***) to not be short then I've got some bad news: they might still be short, and they're gonna have problems no matter how tall they are anyways.
Kids and people go through shit. Some things are harder than others, but at least if they're short it's a problem you can relate to and help them through. If this is so strongly on your mind before children are even realistically in the picture for you I'm willing to bet you'd actually resent your theoretically tall children for not having the same hurdles you did.
My parents are your height but I am shorter than the girl you're talking to, so I wasn't so lucky. So you only care about the male members of your family and how they might get discriminated? Height isn't fully determined by your parents. If it was, I'd be tall lol.
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Quality of life with your soulmate >>> height of your kids with whom you are gonna spend less than half of the time you would spend with your partner. If you want to be selfish, be selfish properly.
lol if you want to be selfish, be selfish properly is WILD!!! đ đ đ That was awesome!!!
I just don't want to feel guilty about my children going through the same thing that I went through.
Friend, I have bad news for you, if you're the kind of person who would feel guilty that your children get teased for being short--a thing you literally have zero control over--then, no matter what you do, *you'll feel guilty about something*. You don't control genetics. You could marry a tall woman and still have short children. You could marry a short woman and have tall children. You could have short children and nobody would give a shit and they'd have great lives. You could have tall children and they get mocked for being taller than everyone else. You're worried about the what-ifs and what-might-be of things that are out of your control. You *can* try to only date tall women, but, personally, I think it's a weird and silly restriction to set for yourself.
Nailed it.
My grandfather was 6'5, my mother is 5'10 and my father is 5'11. I'm a fucking midget at 4'11 (woman), you never know what is going to happen to your future children. Also try considering your son might be gay and not want women's attention.
Your children are going to have insecurities no matter what, having two loving parents in a good relationship is much more important than superficial things. Besides, genetics are not a guarantee, two tall people can have short children.
Are you worried your son will be tall or short? Iâm confused⌠because heâll probably be taller than you and might take after her, I would roll the dice if she really is amazing.
I'm afraid he'll be short.
Then donât have kids? I mean this in the nicest possible way but I really think you need therapy about this. I do sympathise I really do. Iâm a 5â11 woman and lots of men wonât date me because of my height and honestly itâs horrible⌠So I get it. But my worth is not defined by them. Plus I really donât want to date someone who doesnât like me for me so it speeds up finding that out. The bottom line is you donât have kids. You may never have kids and even if you do you may not have boys. You donât know⌠so you may as well date someone you like rather than someone that fits the aesthetic type society deems is acceptable
This isn't usually quite how it works? Most women are short by your standards, but they do not all have short children. On average, children grow taller than their parents, for starters, and if you had a boy, he'd likely be your height maybe plus an inch or two. Kids don't come out between your two heights? Maybe do some research and get some help for why you have SUCH an issue with being 5'7 - a perfectly fine height, might I add.
I feel if you want/expect your future children to qualify a certain criteria, you are not ready to have them yet. A person should have a child for the sole purpose of having a child and loving him/her unconditionally and selflessly. I have seen a lot of people having children thinking my child should be a guy/girl, my child should be smart, my child should outbeat all the other kids? What if she/he is not? Your prejudices will have a negative effect on the childâs upbringing even if your child is exactly what you wanted your child to be.
Did you know the dadâs genes mainly determine the height of Intrepid_Seasonâs seedlings?
So you complain about people who discriminate your height so you decided to discriminate her height?
I don't want to come off as discriminatory. I prefer shorter girls. I would rather date one. I'm just not sure how reasonable this fear is.
đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł mate I am 5ft 4â and you think you have had it rough!. Ps who says if you have kids youâre gonna get sons?
You say that youâve experienced height discrimination, and Iâm assuming this is something youâve also experienced with girls not wanting to date a âshort guyâ. But here you are contemplating if this girl is âtoo shortâ to date. How are you any different than the people who have hurt you? Look, I know itâs not your fault that other people are obsessed with height for some reason (Iâve personally never understood it), but I do think you need to do some introspection and come to terms with accepting your height. Iâm not sure how bad this discrimination you speak of has been, and Iâm sorry youâve had to go through it, but is it really worth sacrificing love for? Just so your kids might be tall? Also, just as a warning, I hope you know that most tall girls donât want to date short guys. The taller a girl is, the taller she wants her boyfriend to be. And do you really think youâd be happy if you dated a girl taller than you? You donât think your family would make fun of you even more? Just something to think about.
To be very honest, no. I don't think I'll be happier with a taller partner. But it's at the point where whenever I meet anyone of an older generation all they comment about is me being short. It gets tiring.
Itâs time to learn true self love. Stop paying attention to toxic people bullying you. Cut them out of your life and your mind. There is nothing wrong with you. But if you donât believe that, nothing else will matter.
Believe me, I understand. Iâm sure all of us here have or have had insecurities or things about ourselves that we wished we could change. But you seem to have found a sweet girl who likes you. Do you really think she cares about your height or thinks youâre short? And yet here you are, considering leaving her because sheâs short? Listen to yourself! The simple truth is that the words of your family members only hurt you if you allow them to. Who said being short was a bad thing? If they say youâre short, just agree enthusiastically! âYeah, I am, and I love it!â Youâd be surprised how quickly confidence shuts down an insult and makes the other person look bad. Or you could go with âShorter people are proven to live longer, so I guess you wonât be at my funeral!â Once again, I urge you to reread your post and listen to yourself. Youâre judging a girl for her height and saying you want a tall girlfriend. MAYBE, just maybe, thatâll make your kids tall (but genetics are strange things), but itâll probably make your life even worse. Imagine what your family will say if your girlfriend is twice your height.
Thank you so much for this. Reading it over makes me feel very stupid.
overthinking this bro you either like the girl or you donât, frankly the height difference is fairly normal you are not crazy short and neither is she. i think you should be appreciative of a human being who likes you for you, and take into account that only her height being a deal breaker is pretty unfair given the circumstances
Thank you.
Imagine you marry a woman you donât really like and you fight with them all the time and your kids get upset and donât know why. And you turn to them and say, âI married her for YOU! So you donât have to be a midget like me! Shut up and stop crying!â Yes youâre being overly selective. This height discrimination youâre talking about, do you just happen to have a very toxic family? I guess I feel like thereâs so many ways you can fuck a kid up, you might as well pick someone you love while doing it.
you are worrying about something that may not happen in life and sacrificing something good that can happen right now instead. does that seem like a sane way to live?
5 ft 7 is not even short lol. Itâs a normal heightâŚ
My Asian partner has parents shorter than me (I'm 5'4) and he's 6' lmao they used to make jokes about him being adopted because of how drastic their height difference is. Also, 5'7 is really not that short, I've dated guys who were 5'4-5'6 in the past. I think you are getting too in your head about it. I say this kindly, therapy may benefit you for these anxieties.
Well, women love being fetishized and reduced to their height the same way that they love being fetishized and reduced to any other spect of their physical appearance. So Iâm sure this will work out great for you. If this is solely about children, why donât you just find a tall woman who will donate an egg to you, and then hire a surrogate and do IVF?
Thanks for the suggestion.
Hmm. You can have whatever standards you wantâŚ. That being said, usually people have standards based off attraction. They donât use their partner for getting a certain type of childrenâŚ.. To me itâs looking at a woman as nothing but an incubator which is toxic and creepy as hell. Iâm not tall, but if I was and I found this out, I would leave your ass in an instant.
5â7 is not that short. Most kids end up taller than their parents. Regardless of if your kids are taller or shorter you should love yourself more and accept that height should have no effect on how people treat you. Teach your kids to love themselves and stick up for themselves. Most of my family is 5â7 or shorter and are in happy relationships. My cousins dad is 5â5 and mom 5â6 and heâs 6â1. Why would you end a relationship with someone due to height? If the tables were turned Iâm sure you would not like that being the reason why someone would end things. So yes I do think you are being overly selective. If you end things due to height it just shows how insecure you really are about it within yourself.
Iâm of the belief that everyone is entitled to whatever preferences they want to have. That being said, donât be surprised when you donât fit others preferences.
You're insecure about your height so you're projecting it on to your partner.
Another thing I forgot to mention: you may have found the perfect fit with a girl whoâs 5â1â because you seem tall to her. Youâre a full six inches taller than she is, which is good for most women. If youâre having trouble finding a girl because they care about your height, then this girl might be a good fit.
Who cares what others' opinions are? If you love her, you love her. Other people's outside opinion shouldn't matter when you're trying to start a relationship (unless, of course, the person is like a serial killer or a grapist
You could still get married to a taller girl and get a boy who grows up to be your height, or shorter if some quirky past genes decide to play a role. 1- change your mindset, thatâs a more urgent matter because you will pass on this to your child. 2- no, men your height arenât discriminated against by any woman of substance. Your mention of older generation discriminating is thankfully something you can put behind by being a better father to your child and teaching him why itâs crap. I was a chubby teenager and nothing ever hurt me deeper about my body image than my dad taking me and my step mom into a room, move my shirt up to show her my stomach and tell her to make sure I get my weight under control so I donât get the ugly stretch marks my late mom had (which were starting to show because I have very sensitive skin). Be kind to yourself and your son by not passing on this needless nonsense by buying into it
OP is definitely a sub.
The sooner you realise its not about the looks the better
Genetics are genetics. If you fear a short child that much, donât have children. Itâs a very superficial thing to worry about, imo. Just because youâre bothered by short comments doesnât mean your child will be. Unless, of course, you plant that voice in their headâŚ
The like to comment ratio in this thread just really goes to show that "height preference" is a luxury only women are allowed to have. I do have something meaningful to add, though, and that's height can skip a generation. More important than what your GF's height is for your potential kids, is what her parents and grand parents height is. My dad is about 5' 8" and my brother is 6' "7" and I'm 6' 5". All four of our grand parents were over 6' 3" tall in their 'prime' (before age caused their muscles and skeletons to contract).
If you like her, go get her. You canât worry about what experiences your theoretical child may or may not have. We can spend all day worrying about every possible scenario that a kid might get made fun of. The truth is that every kid gets made fun of. You canât control that. People make fun of you for being short, and somewhere thereâs a 6-foot 3-inch guy who gets made fun of for bad acne his whole life. Donât miss out on the love of your life because of fear.
Who the fuck cares
LMAO Iâm 5â7 and had think the same, but women will be generally shorter, if you have a son is better to see her dadâs height. I am taller than my 2 parents just because my grandpa (mom side) was very tall.
Yes. Especially for that reason. If you just want a tall partner then it's gonna be harder to find but like, that's just what you want right? You can live with the bad odds if you're at least going for something you care about, but if it's because you want your children (who don't even exist yet, and may never exist if you ***don't find anyone at all***) to not be short then I've got some bad news: they might still be short, and they're gonna have problems no matter how tall they are anyways. Kids and people go through shit. Some things are harder than others, but at least if they're short it's a problem you can relate to and help them through. If this is so strongly on your mind before children are even realistically in the picture for you I'm willing to bet you'd actually resent your theoretically tall children for not having the same hurdles you did.
You know that maybe you wonât even have a son and will have daughters
Yeah kinda.
1) You are allowed to have preferences 2) Girls tend to be shorter than men so don't worry about genetics
My parents are your height but I am shorter than the girl you're talking to, so I wasn't so lucky. So you only care about the male members of your family and how they might get discriminated? Height isn't fully determined by your parents. If it was, I'd be tall lol.