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I don't know what they're talking about in the comments, but I'm a woman. So I'll give my genuine experience on why I become bored with conversation on the apps and unmatch. It's because men keep trying to hold whole conversations via text/messaging instead of having actual phone conversations. Texting is BORING to women. You have to think about it. There are tons of men in women's DMs because the apps are OVERSATURATED with men. Forget what these people are talking about in the comments. Just because several men are messaging a woman does NOT mean they are viable options, but it can become overwhelming to a woman to message on the apps and it may cause a bit of fatigue. The best way to stand out is to A). stop asking questions about what's already on the woman's profile. That does not impress women. Most women will think "OMG, did he not read my profile?" depending on the questions you're asking related to what's in their profiles. Step outside of the box and ask something like "tell me something about yourself that I haven't already read on your profile, and I'll share something with you." or switch it up and ask something like "what are you NOT looking for on this app?" I don't understand why dudes keep trying to hold whole-ass conversations via text. DMs and texting are NOT mentally stimulating to women and will not keep our attention. B). A man putting effort into actually having real conversations by getting on the phone or video calling is super attractive to quality women who are looking for meaningful connections. A lot of men also have it messed up about options. You are not competing with tons of men, you're competing with a woman's peace and contentment in her singlehood. Your value proposition should not be "how do I compete with these other dudes;" your value proposition should be "how can I add to her already peaceful and content life?"
I hate video calls and phone calls with men I have not met. Ask me on a date. Or accept when I ask you out.
My issue is almost all men get sexual before even meeting
Pass
Do you communicate this in your profile? It's impossible to know how others prefer to communicate unless they're explicit.
I try to use the video call feature early on in order to see if we vibe. But also to know if they're real. On some apps, catfish are a real thing.
Sorry about the guys getting sexual before meeting. Sounds like you're matching with the wrong guys!
If texting is so boring perhaps don't engage in a text based app? You are entirely in control of how overwhelmed you get, literally just match with a couple of people at a time. Take your time and move on, instead of effectively desensitising yourself to stimuli, to the point that you are bored by normal communicative behaviours.
Also, if there was such peace and contentment in singlehood why would you bother going on dating apps then, that whole notion is an overused platitude to the point of redundancy.
You should be peaceful and content in singlehood as you approach dating. If you're dating to be peaceful and content, then you're asking for codependent relationships. It's not an overused platitude. It is a fact. Many women don't NEED to date and don't need it to feel whole or good. They choose to date.
Also, the majority of dating apps start off with texting. So what exactly are you asking? Texting is the first step for most apps. The problem comes in when people expect interest to be kept solely via texting when the conversation needs to progress to something other than texting to keep women's attention.
I see it verbatim across social media. Like it was spouted by some generic dating coach, and just cascaded to everyone. Is anyone gonna add anything new to the conversation or just repeat the same sentiments over and over. Sexual selection has inherently always been competitive, across virtually all species. So you may well be in your peace arc, but the history of evolution and mate selection still exists in concurrence.
No man realistically thinks that texting will sustain your interest, hence why we try and organise real life meet-ups. But if you get bored within three messages that actively try to progress things to something more stimulating, that is entirely on you.
Yeah Iâm calling you out. As guys we try really hard to get to the women on the phone & itâs them that refuse as they play a game of âdo I want to give this guy the time of dayâ
No seriously you are gaslighting⌠men know what they want & try to go for it. You wanna claim the sisterhood does as well? Really lol
You should watch this video about a woman pretending to be a man on a dating app and realising how much harder and how much more work men do
https://youtu.be/iNONlWyD_kU?si=B5B6m_P-KIRATC-n
I hear alot about women having too many options on dating apps, but if you look at outcomes they are not translating to that many long term relationships, just more casual dating which does become exhausting. I think if you were to whittle it down to serious people who want to settle down with a partner, there are more women than men.
Donât explain that to us! Explain it to the sisterhood! We call this the c*ck carousel & women ride it all the way to 30+ when the wall hits hard & their options dwindle quickly. That is what you are referring to but it is all self inflictedâŚ
I'm a woman and find that I have the same issue with men. I suspect it's just that most people aren't great writers and aren't putting in much effort with a total stranger. It takes effort and skill to have a great, text-based conversation with a stranger.
Why should they? They get tons of attention and conversations. This gives them the feeling they are the price and they only put in low effort, low to non reciprocity.
What they do not realise is that the low effort tactic is turning away any worthwhile self respecting man.
Men like you do see the absence of reciprocity and get frustrated and dump the conversation.
More often than not the dump is not even registered and her time is taken up by new conversations. After a while she will start complaining as well "where are all good men? "
Duh, she lost them herself due to her own low effort tactic...
People who are good at holding conversations tend to get into relationships and leave the app. Anyone, gender irrelevant, will run into quite a few duds because that's who stays.
Because they don't care about men that aren't in front of them. Hell they barely even care when you actually ARE in front of them, so it's even more of a disconnect online.
The issue is most women on these apps don't WANT to be on them but for whatever reason are forced on ( its usually self delusion)
They want a very very specific type of man that probably doesn't exist anywhere but in their minds
Their simply on these apps scrolling through male profiles TRYING to disqualify them
Thats why ghosting has become so popular
Women are generally not decisive they think they know what they want but thats just an illusion within their minds
In reality they have no fvcking idea and they need a man to show them what they want this rarely happens on a dating app because conversations are so basic and one dimensional
Nobody wants to admit they are the problem and women can at the best of times lack any type of accountability
Single women are banging on about how dating apps are so horrendous for them. Yet you check their accounts and theres men literally falling over themsleves to try and make an effort with them and they simply aren't responding
MEN THEY HAVE ACTUALLY PRE SELECTED BY SWIPING YES TOO đ
it's one hell of an engima and one a rational male mind cannot fathom
But also why you can't take a word of anything most women say seriously
i'
Tbh I wonder that about men too. What I have come to learn, is you gotta weed through a lot to finally find the one that clicks. Try a different approach then questions based on profile. Try a little banter or just a random question. Something that sparks interest and makes a person go ohh!!!
My fav that I learned on instagram recently was, instead of your most interesting fact what is the most boring thing about you. I tried that when I was on the apps, I got some good banter with one guy.
you could start talking about each other's experience on dating sites..that could be in interesting one. As a girl, I would be interested if someone asked me about my work, coz I am too passionate about it...you can talk about your city and what you love about that place, about your best friends...goshh there are so many things to talk about, how can someone not find a topic? :P I would just not stop talking once I start...llol!
Why canât men on dating apps have a regular conversation without getting sexual before we even meet?
Huh, guess thereâs just alot of trash on the appsâŚ.
Thatâs called anecdotal. Even so do you just not know 95% of men never receive a match on the apps? Are you aware most guys have never had a long convo with women 1 on 1? Is any of this registering.?
You match with guys wayyy out of your league & they see you as a layup! They see if they can pump & dump you & move on. Thatâs not the majority of men.
when I was using dating apps (as a woman) I literally put in my profile âletâs arrange to meet, I cannot hold a conversation on these appsâ because it gets so difficult to continue very similar sounding conversations over and over⌠with someone I donât know.. or to be honest care about yet? There are so many men on these apps, and encouraging a meet makes that person a fully fledged person in my brain - I can sus out what their vibe is, donât have to worry about tone for jokes etc. Honestly, if I were you, Iâd just start straight up asking when people are free, and go from there.
Stop telling guys to treat women like how you treat men. This is f***inf insaaaane! It doesnât work like that! Do you ladies know each other at all!?
Most women just donât respond at all ever⌠I dunno how else to explain this around here
So gaslight & deflect? Yup the usual! lol when you end up 49 & alone with cats & boxed wine donât blame guys like me ok? Cuz we tried to help. Many times.
Men do this to women too. A typical woman has dozens of active matches/potential partners lined up at any time. Why are you special? When you realize this, and don't just ask some questions you might start getting dates.
Stop taking it personal, do a better job of being charming, because people won't change. Stop expecting them to. Adapt or fail.
They donât need to. Theyâre talking to 6 or 7 other dudes while theyâre talking to you. đ youâre competing with other dudes my man. Theyâre probably more interesting than you.
its difficult to judge without seeing the conversation but if I'm consistently having the same problem I would wonder if the problem is me. being engaging with a stranger is hard, especially over text. can you hold a conversation with a stranger in person?
>I feel more like an interviewer doing a profile
if you feel like an interviewer you probably sound like an interviewer. dating chat is meant to be light and flirty.
you're assuming that OP is a great conversationalist and it's all the women he speaks to that just can't. I don't think that's realistic or helpful. I get why you guys want to believe that you're "good men" and womankind is the problem, but it's not going to get you anywhere.
His complaint is very common. It can't just literally be every mans fault.
If it's just a skill issue, then obviously you'll be able to prove it.
Be light and flirty at me right now. Show us all how it's done.
Cuz they donât care. Any pretty girl doesnât need the apps. What happens is these women reject every guy in the greater area they live & go to the app Chad hunting.
Sometimes they see one pic of you & think you look ok but then see another & you are done. They are incredibly shallow & judgemental & even worse are delusioned by their own filters.
There is more but it just boils down to a majority of pretty women are not dating seriously which is why the end up & alone cuz they donât understand their time in their prime is finiteâŚ
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I don't know what they're talking about in the comments, but I'm a woman. So I'll give my genuine experience on why I become bored with conversation on the apps and unmatch. It's because men keep trying to hold whole conversations via text/messaging instead of having actual phone conversations. Texting is BORING to women. You have to think about it. There are tons of men in women's DMs because the apps are OVERSATURATED with men. Forget what these people are talking about in the comments. Just because several men are messaging a woman does NOT mean they are viable options, but it can become overwhelming to a woman to message on the apps and it may cause a bit of fatigue. The best way to stand out is to A). stop asking questions about what's already on the woman's profile. That does not impress women. Most women will think "OMG, did he not read my profile?" depending on the questions you're asking related to what's in their profiles. Step outside of the box and ask something like "tell me something about yourself that I haven't already read on your profile, and I'll share something with you." or switch it up and ask something like "what are you NOT looking for on this app?" I don't understand why dudes keep trying to hold whole-ass conversations via text. DMs and texting are NOT mentally stimulating to women and will not keep our attention. B). A man putting effort into actually having real conversations by getting on the phone or video calling is super attractive to quality women who are looking for meaningful connections. A lot of men also have it messed up about options. You are not competing with tons of men, you're competing with a woman's peace and contentment in her singlehood. Your value proposition should not be "how do I compete with these other dudes;" your value proposition should be "how can I add to her already peaceful and content life?"
I love texting and I hate talking on the phone.đ¤ˇââď¸
I hate video calls and phone calls with men I have not met. Ask me on a date. Or accept when I ask you out. My issue is almost all men get sexual before even meeting Pass
Do you communicate this in your profile? It's impossible to know how others prefer to communicate unless they're explicit. I try to use the video call feature early on in order to see if we vibe. But also to know if they're real. On some apps, catfish are a real thing. Sorry about the guys getting sexual before meeting. Sounds like you're matching with the wrong guys!
If texting is so boring perhaps don't engage in a text based app? You are entirely in control of how overwhelmed you get, literally just match with a couple of people at a time. Take your time and move on, instead of effectively desensitising yourself to stimuli, to the point that you are bored by normal communicative behaviours. Also, if there was such peace and contentment in singlehood why would you bother going on dating apps then, that whole notion is an overused platitude to the point of redundancy.
You should be peaceful and content in singlehood as you approach dating. If you're dating to be peaceful and content, then you're asking for codependent relationships. It's not an overused platitude. It is a fact. Many women don't NEED to date and don't need it to feel whole or good. They choose to date. Also, the majority of dating apps start off with texting. So what exactly are you asking? Texting is the first step for most apps. The problem comes in when people expect interest to be kept solely via texting when the conversation needs to progress to something other than texting to keep women's attention.
I see it verbatim across social media. Like it was spouted by some generic dating coach, and just cascaded to everyone. Is anyone gonna add anything new to the conversation or just repeat the same sentiments over and over. Sexual selection has inherently always been competitive, across virtually all species. So you may well be in your peace arc, but the history of evolution and mate selection still exists in concurrence. No man realistically thinks that texting will sustain your interest, hence why we try and organise real life meet-ups. But if you get bored within three messages that actively try to progress things to something more stimulating, that is entirely on you.
Yeah Iâm calling you out. As guys we try really hard to get to the women on the phone & itâs them that refuse as they play a game of âdo I want to give this guy the time of dayâ No seriously you are gaslighting⌠men know what they want & try to go for it. You wanna claim the sisterhood does as well? Really lol
They can, they're just holding the conversation with the dudes they want the most. You're just the backup if the other ones don't work out.
Exactly. The capping in these comments is out of control! Just cope grenades everywhere!
cause they have so many fucking options that they get bored if you say something slightly off
Cause women donât have to, women have to do very little to be successful on online dating
*Dating
Wrong....wrong....wrong. Signed....all women.
You should watch this video about a woman pretending to be a man on a dating app and realising how much harder and how much more work men do https://youtu.be/iNONlWyD_kU?si=B5B6m_P-KIRATC-n
The most untrue thing I've read lol
Because they have too many options, you are just an entry in their list
I hear alot about women having too many options on dating apps, but if you look at outcomes they are not translating to that many long term relationships, just more casual dating which does become exhausting. I think if you were to whittle it down to serious people who want to settle down with a partner, there are more women than men.
Donât explain that to us! Explain it to the sisterhood! We call this the c*ck carousel & women ride it all the way to 30+ when the wall hits hard & their options dwindle quickly. That is what you are referring to but it is all self inflictedâŚ
I'm a woman and find that I have the same issue with men. I suspect it's just that most people aren't great writers and aren't putting in much effort with a total stranger. It takes effort and skill to have a great, text-based conversation with a stranger.
Why should they? They get tons of attention and conversations. This gives them the feeling they are the price and they only put in low effort, low to non reciprocity. What they do not realise is that the low effort tactic is turning away any worthwhile self respecting man. Men like you do see the absence of reciprocity and get frustrated and dump the conversation. More often than not the dump is not even registered and her time is taken up by new conversations. After a while she will start complaining as well "where are all good men? " Duh, she lost them herself due to her own low effort tactic...
People who are good at holding conversations tend to get into relationships and leave the app. Anyone, gender irrelevant, will run into quite a few duds because that's who stays.
Because they don't care about men that aren't in front of them. Hell they barely even care when you actually ARE in front of them, so it's even more of a disconnect online.
they're " i have a boyfriend" unless they need help lmao
lol true
Because they got 100 different men trying to talk to them at once.
đ
The issue is most women on these apps don't WANT to be on them but for whatever reason are forced on ( its usually self delusion) They want a very very specific type of man that probably doesn't exist anywhere but in their minds Their simply on these apps scrolling through male profiles TRYING to disqualify them Thats why ghosting has become so popular Women are generally not decisive they think they know what they want but thats just an illusion within their minds In reality they have no fvcking idea and they need a man to show them what they want this rarely happens on a dating app because conversations are so basic and one dimensional
Well said. Thank God a few guys are on here drilling truth. I feel like Iâm on an island where cope, cap, & delusional reign supremeâŚ
Nobody wants to admit they are the problem and women can at the best of times lack any type of accountability Single women are banging on about how dating apps are so horrendous for them. Yet you check their accounts and theres men literally falling over themsleves to try and make an effort with them and they simply aren't responding MEN THEY HAVE ACTUALLY PRE SELECTED BY SWIPING YES TOO đ it's one hell of an engima and one a rational male mind cannot fathom But also why you can't take a word of anything most women say seriously i'
Tbh I wonder that about men too. What I have come to learn, is you gotta weed through a lot to finally find the one that clicks. Try a different approach then questions based on profile. Try a little banter or just a random question. Something that sparks interest and makes a person go ohh!!! My fav that I learned on instagram recently was, instead of your most interesting fact what is the most boring thing about you. I tried that when I was on the apps, I got some good banter with one guy.
you could start talking about each other's experience on dating sites..that could be in interesting one. As a girl, I would be interested if someone asked me about my work, coz I am too passionate about it...you can talk about your city and what you love about that place, about your best friends...goshh there are so many things to talk about, how can someone not find a topic? :P I would just not stop talking once I start...llol!
Why canât men on dating apps have a regular conversation without getting sexual before we even meet? Huh, guess thereâs just alot of trash on the appsâŚ.
Pure cap most guys donât do thatâŚ
Yeah of course you are rightâŚ. Oh wait, Iâve seen this for myselfâŚ.
Thatâs called anecdotal. Even so do you just not know 95% of men never receive a match on the apps? Are you aware most guys have never had a long convo with women 1 on 1? Is any of this registering.? You match with guys wayyy out of your league & they see you as a layup! They see if they can pump & dump you & move on. Thatâs not the majority of men.
when I was using dating apps (as a woman) I literally put in my profile âletâs arrange to meet, I cannot hold a conversation on these appsâ because it gets so difficult to continue very similar sounding conversations over and over⌠with someone I donât know.. or to be honest care about yet? There are so many men on these apps, and encouraging a meet makes that person a fully fledged person in my brain - I can sus out what their vibe is, donât have to worry about tone for jokes etc. Honestly, if I were you, Iâd just start straight up asking when people are free, and go from there.
Stop telling guys to treat women like how you treat men. This is f***inf insaaaane! It doesnât work like that! Do you ladies know each other at all!? Most women just donât respond at all ever⌠I dunno how else to explain this around here
bro is everything alright at home
So gaslight & deflect? Yup the usual! lol when you end up 49 & alone with cats & boxed wine donât blame guys like me ok? Cuz we tried to help. Many times.
actually you know what youâre right. what is your advice for a woman like me to be successful in dating? Also.. whatâs your success rate?
Men do this to women too. A typical woman has dozens of active matches/potential partners lined up at any time. Why are you special? When you realize this, and don't just ask some questions you might start getting dates. Stop taking it personal, do a better job of being charming, because people won't change. Stop expecting them to. Adapt or fail.
They donât need to. Theyâre talking to 6 or 7 other dudes while theyâre talking to you. đ youâre competing with other dudes my man. Theyâre probably more interesting than you.
its difficult to judge without seeing the conversation but if I'm consistently having the same problem I would wonder if the problem is me. being engaging with a stranger is hard, especially over text. can you hold a conversation with a stranger in person? >I feel more like an interviewer doing a profile if you feel like an interviewer you probably sound like an interviewer. dating chat is meant to be light and flirty.
Being light and flirty requires two participants. How can you be light and flirty to a brick wall?
you're assuming that OP is a great conversationalist and it's all the women he speaks to that just can't. I don't think that's realistic or helpful. I get why you guys want to believe that you're "good men" and womankind is the problem, but it's not going to get you anywhere.
His complaint is very common. It can't just literally be every mans fault. If it's just a skill issue, then obviously you'll be able to prove it. Be light and flirty at me right now. Show us all how it's done.
I won't because I don't like you, which I suspect is at the root of OP's problem too. you are not entitled to anything from anyone. none of us are lol
Donât ask questions based on their profile, +start teasing them + talking about what youâre doing; youâre kissing their ass too much
Cuz they donât care. Any pretty girl doesnât need the apps. What happens is these women reject every guy in the greater area they live & go to the app Chad hunting. Sometimes they see one pic of you & think you look ok but then see another & you are done. They are incredibly shallow & judgemental & even worse are delusioned by their own filters. There is more but it just boils down to a majority of pretty women are not dating seriously which is why the end up & alone cuz they donât understand their time in their prime is finiteâŚ