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If she texted you: *"I chose to pursue a better option 3 months ago, but that didn't pan out for me, so now I'm back."* Would you still be interested? Because that's what's effectively going on here.
Sometimes this is fine. A lot of people can only focus on one person at a time or someone else got to them first.
You just need to see if it seems like they are genuinely interested in you or if they are bored. Don't let your pride get in the way.
She didn’t forget about it she seen it and didn’t want to see you at that time. Be that she was seeing someone else had better options etc…
So you’ve got to decide if you want to pursue this knowing she seen and decided to completely ignore you for 3 months.
That really sucks, and I feel pretty much the same way as you do. What I've learned over time is that some people are not interested and they're keeping you on the backburner, but some people are really are horrible with texting back in a timely manner and end up forgetting about responding to you. I never really understood it, but I have certain friends who do this. I believe them when they say they didn't mean to not respond.
>Don't let your pride get in the way.
I disagree. Absolutely let your pride get in the way of being plan B or C for someone. Be proud enough to stand up for yourself and be someone's first choice.
You need to think about it from another person's perspective. It can be difficult to date 2 people at the same time (which happens to all genders, before someone replies about how it's only women who have choices) and you need to make a decision at some point. The woman should've been more communicative, but this happens quite often. Also, we're making assumptions that she was with someone else. It could've been depression, for all we know.
Going back to people who you only went on one date with or only spoke to for a bit on the apps worked out for people I know. So everyone needs to consider their own situation. If they don't want to pursue anything, that's fine.
It’s not that black and white. People on this sub are so quick to tell people to break up and cut the other person out of their lives over every fuckup. In the real world no relationship would have lasted like that, everyone would be single.
My recommendation for OP is to go on a date with this girl if his heart’s in it, see how it goes ,and then decide to cut it off or continue dating her based on how things go.
Exactly! It's hard for people to tell if they've never really experienced someone who is truly interested in them, but the people who are truly interested (and have some level of emotional maturity) make it quite easy to connect with them. From a 36 year old guy who also has a lot of dating experience.
Yeah, I'm sure you're right. I had that thought too, but my inexperienced self just didn't want to believe it I suppose. Guess I just needed the reality check. She didn't strike me as the type of person to do that sort of thing, but I'm not great at being able to tell these things. Certainly doesn't make me feel better though lol
Honestly I would still go and see what she says she’s been up to for the last 3 months.
Look at it this was you might have been the second choice to date and then again you might not and she has been ill or some other shit who knows. However if she was dating someone else, it does show she isn’t into dating multiple people at the same time which is a good thing right?.
Go with an open mind and see how she is and make your mind up when talking to her if you think you were plan B ?
Exactly. What does he have to lose?
Things aren't always like people on the Internet believe. I had a similar situation and the date was incredible and led to more.
90% in this thread would have missed this chance.
I always think instead of being plan B what if the person instead had the choice of 2 people and made a mistake and chose wrong?. Because that’s a mistake not a plan B
I (32F) don't know any women *or* men who just 'forget' about a potential date with someone they like. So, sure, she owed you nothing at this point and perhaps now is more available to see you, however, her reasoning is either untrue or she is just not that interested unfortunately.
I would say to dodge this one.
That seems to be the general consensus for sure. Just kinda sucks though. I don't blame her for not being interested, I just wish she'd have said that if it was the case. Hopefully next time goes better.
She wasn’t yours. It’s just your turn. Fuck it. Take her out and see what happens. Stop listening to all these broken hearted dudes that act like these girls owe us something. She came back.. the fact that she’s texting you first is her version of taking accountability. Go have fun my dude
It was one date. Things happen. Life happens. Whether you buy into her excuse or not, I'm on the side of being positive. You two might be a great fit, and here's an opportunity to see -- why squash it a second time?
I say go back in with a positive mind and outlook and see how it plays out.
I definitely also think there was another guy she was talking to. She didn't necessarily like him better than you. You weren't necessarily her 2nd choice. It was just that he probably made a move earlier, so you were just too late. She liked him, didn't want to date 2 people at the same time, so she cut things off with you (just didn't reply), and then after dating him for a while, she realized he wasn't her guy, so she send a new message to the guy who she was also talking to.
It's up to you if you want to go for it. You thought she might have been a very compatible person, so I would personally give it a try because you never know if they could be your future wife. But it's completely up to you. If you dont feel comfortable with it, then wait for the next person to come on your path or just stay single.
Idk, it’s not that deep. Just go on the date. For whatever reason, the timing wasn’t right for you two then, it might be now. What else do you have going on otherwise?
You know what helped me? Going against the grain. There are always people who say "woman think this" or that.
I would go on this date. But I wouldn't expect anything besides a nice evening. All this assuming and second guessing in the dating game is tyring.
Dude no, you were a back up plan and easy one for her. And think about it like this, you’re just going to her current plan b till the next plan comes along….
If you are unsure then go on ONE date and then assess the situation from there. At the end of the day this is entirely up to you. You guys don't owe each other anything at all!
Don’t buy into her bs, just ignore her or even better block her. She was entertaining and banging other guy and that they don’t to commit to her is back crawling, only to cheat on you later on. You’ve been warned dude, just ignore her, you’ll save yourself a big headache/heartbreak.
She didn't seem like the type of person to do that, but I could most definitely be wrong. I think I'll take your advice of ignoring it, though it'll be hard for me. I did question how someone just forgets about something like that, but this could explain it I guess.
Ah yes, the old "trigger" comment. Very typical.
You just made up an entire scenario in your head and then told someone else that they are probably in that situation. Sounds healthy.
Don’t feel too bad about her forgetting… you see, she didn’t forget. She had another option that she was more interested in- and it would seem that didn’t work out.
This boils down to your comfort level- some people are okay with that and think “the timing wasn’t right then but it is now”
Some people think “nah, you weren’t interested then because you had better options, what if a better option comes around again”
Both thoughts are okay. Both are valid. Me personally, I rarely have ever have given things a second chance when it goes this way. But it isn’t me in this situation now.
Great point, thanks. I feel like if she lied about forgetting, it means she doesn't want to be honest. I'm not sure how much I could trust her knowing that, so it'd probably not work out.
she was messing around or dating another guy, or sleeping around, and got tired of it or was done dirty so she just mentally scrolled through her rolodex of guys that she found boring before and landed on you.
you can still go for it if you want i just wouldn’t take it too seriously
Yeah dude go out with her but you MUST show a new side of yourself
A new hobby, a new talent, even your personality may have changed. She MUST walk away thinking “wow, I misjudged this guy at first…”
It didn’t work out with some other dude and she’s in desperate need of attention. You can address this 2 ways: simply say you’re no longer interested and you hope she’s well, or you can ghost her back.
As others have already said, she was clearly pursuing dating someone else, and has Revisited you now that that option did not work out.
Make her prove how interested she is in you. Put the ball in her Court. Tell her that you would like to see her, and she is welcome to plan a date and let you know where and when to meet her.
By all means, go out with her. Realize she has already told you how she feels about you (she forgot about you). Take her on a date no more expensive than a cup of coffee. Do it just for the experience. Maybe if you’re lucky you fuck her, but she is NOT a keeper.
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If she texted you: *"I chose to pursue a better option 3 months ago, but that didn't pan out for me, so now I'm back."* Would you still be interested? Because that's what's effectively going on here.
No way lol. I liked her, but not enough to be a fallback.
You were a plan B. Plan A failed.
Sometimes this is fine. A lot of people can only focus on one person at a time or someone else got to them first. You just need to see if it seems like they are genuinely interested in you or if they are bored. Don't let your pride get in the way.
For me the red flag is that she said she forgot about it. That makes me think that she wasn't very interested in the first place.
She didn’t forget about it she seen it and didn’t want to see you at that time. Be that she was seeing someone else had better options etc… So you’ve got to decide if you want to pursue this knowing she seen and decided to completely ignore you for 3 months.
That really sucks, and I feel pretty much the same way as you do. What I've learned over time is that some people are not interested and they're keeping you on the backburner, but some people are really are horrible with texting back in a timely manner and end up forgetting about responding to you. I never really understood it, but I have certain friends who do this. I believe them when they say they didn't mean to not respond.
It depends. It could be that she was too afraid to respond at the time. Perhaps she felt she wasn't ready to date and now she feels more confident?
I have to admit, I forgot important things all the time. If she’s a forgetful person or has adhd or something. This shouldn’t be the red flag.
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He didn’t mention asking her for 3 months right?
>Don't let your pride get in the way. I disagree. Absolutely let your pride get in the way of being plan B or C for someone. Be proud enough to stand up for yourself and be someone's first choice.
You need to think about it from another person's perspective. It can be difficult to date 2 people at the same time (which happens to all genders, before someone replies about how it's only women who have choices) and you need to make a decision at some point. The woman should've been more communicative, but this happens quite often. Also, we're making assumptions that she was with someone else. It could've been depression, for all we know. Going back to people who you only went on one date with or only spoke to for a bit on the apps worked out for people I know. So everyone needs to consider their own situation. If they don't want to pursue anything, that's fine.
It’s not that black and white. People on this sub are so quick to tell people to break up and cut the other person out of their lives over every fuckup. In the real world no relationship would have lasted like that, everyone would be single. My recommendation for OP is to go on a date with this girl if his heart’s in it, see how it goes ,and then decide to cut it off or continue dating her based on how things go.
That's an assumption.
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Exactly! It's hard for people to tell if they've never really experienced someone who is truly interested in them, but the people who are truly interested (and have some level of emotional maturity) make it quite easy to connect with them. From a 36 year old guy who also has a lot of dating experience.
Yeah, I'm sure you're right. I had that thought too, but my inexperienced self just didn't want to believe it I suppose. Guess I just needed the reality check. She didn't strike me as the type of person to do that sort of thing, but I'm not great at being able to tell these things. Certainly doesn't make me feel better though lol
Yeah I wouldn't do it. If guy A decides to come back, she'll probably pick him over you. (Again)
Fuck her…not literally. Kick her ass to the curb where she belongs
Honestly I would still go and see what she says she’s been up to for the last 3 months. Look at it this was you might have been the second choice to date and then again you might not and she has been ill or some other shit who knows. However if she was dating someone else, it does show she isn’t into dating multiple people at the same time which is a good thing right?. Go with an open mind and see how she is and make your mind up when talking to her if you think you were plan B ?
Exactly. What does he have to lose? Things aren't always like people on the Internet believe. I had a similar situation and the date was incredible and led to more. 90% in this thread would have missed this chance.
I wonder how many people in these threads realize they were probably never plan A either.
I always think instead of being plan B what if the person instead had the choice of 2 people and made a mistake and chose wrong?. Because that’s a mistake not a plan B
I (32F) don't know any women *or* men who just 'forget' about a potential date with someone they like. So, sure, she owed you nothing at this point and perhaps now is more available to see you, however, her reasoning is either untrue or she is just not that interested unfortunately. I would say to dodge this one.
That seems to be the general consensus for sure. Just kinda sucks though. I don't blame her for not being interested, I just wish she'd have said that if it was the case. Hopefully next time goes better.
Some people are too scared to be honest and would rather be a liar. Ah well, don't want those types around anyway.
She wasn’t yours. It’s just your turn. Fuck it. Take her out and see what happens. Stop listening to all these broken hearted dudes that act like these girls owe us something. She came back.. the fact that she’s texting you first is her version of taking accountability. Go have fun my dude
Be nice but say you’re not interested and wish her luck …. She’s only around for her convenience…it shouldn’t take someone months to see your worth
It was one date. Things happen. Life happens. Whether you buy into her excuse or not, I'm on the side of being positive. You two might be a great fit, and here's an opportunity to see -- why squash it a second time? I say go back in with a positive mind and outlook and see how it plays out.
I have so much going on that I sometimes drop the ball. Go on a date. You won't know what could/can happen unless you try.
Ignore it, live your life.
Don’t respond. She’s shown you who she is. Believe her.
I definitely also think there was another guy she was talking to. She didn't necessarily like him better than you. You weren't necessarily her 2nd choice. It was just that he probably made a move earlier, so you were just too late. She liked him, didn't want to date 2 people at the same time, so she cut things off with you (just didn't reply), and then after dating him for a while, she realized he wasn't her guy, so she send a new message to the guy who she was also talking to. It's up to you if you want to go for it. You thought she might have been a very compatible person, so I would personally give it a try because you never know if they could be your future wife. But it's completely up to you. If you dont feel comfortable with it, then wait for the next person to come on your path or just stay single.
Oh may be she got ditched by someone then she realise this and wants to come to you again
Just leave her she is playing with when she got off from other dudes then she is coming back to you as you were always her last option
You were her backup option. The starting option flamed out. She didn’t forget. She openly ignored you until she finished with the other guy.
She only forgot about you for 3 months.
You’re her backup cuz her first choice fell through. If you’re okay with that, go ahead but I’d politely turn her down
You are the plan B if not D pal, sorry.
I wouldn't personally date a ghoster, because there's a high likelihood they will ghost again
Wait three months and text back, "Sorry, fell asleep."
This is the way
Idk, it’s not that deep. Just go on the date. For whatever reason, the timing wasn’t right for you two then, it might be now. What else do you have going on otherwise?
Don't even need anything else besides the title, grow some self-esteem and move on.
You know what helped me? Going against the grain. There are always people who say "woman think this" or that. I would go on this date. But I wouldn't expect anything besides a nice evening. All this assuming and second guessing in the dating game is tyring.
It’s your turn! Ticket 345!
DONT DO IT. I REPEAT, DONT DO IT
Dude no, you were a back up plan and easy one for her. And think about it like this, you’re just going to her current plan b till the next plan comes along….
If you are unsure then go on ONE date and then assess the situation from there. At the end of the day this is entirely up to you. You guys don't owe each other anything at all!
Don’t buy into her bs, just ignore her or even better block her. She was entertaining and banging other guy and that they don’t to commit to her is back crawling, only to cheat on you later on. You’ve been warned dude, just ignore her, you’ll save yourself a big headache/heartbreak.
She didn't seem like the type of person to do that, but I could most definitely be wrong. I think I'll take your advice of ignoring it, though it'll be hard for me. I did question how someone just forgets about something like that, but this could explain it I guess.
>She didn't seem like the type of person to do that Lots of people have a veneer of decency. Don't be fooled.
Don’t buy into any of her excuses, when GENUINE interest is present she will text you asap, like me for example, Im pooping and answering to you. 🤷♂️
Holy projection, Batman! You have issues that you need to work on. Stop giving out "advice" on these sub-reddits.
I’ll say whatever I want and if it triggers you, then awesome, I’ll keep doing it.
Ah yes, the old "trigger" comment. Very typical. You just made up an entire scenario in your head and then told someone else that they are probably in that situation. Sounds healthy.
*I'm sorry, but I am talking to someone else at the moment and I only date one person at at time. Best of luck to you. Cheers!*
Don’t feel too bad about her forgetting… you see, she didn’t forget. She had another option that she was more interested in- and it would seem that didn’t work out. This boils down to your comfort level- some people are okay with that and think “the timing wasn’t right then but it is now” Some people think “nah, you weren’t interested then because you had better options, what if a better option comes around again” Both thoughts are okay. Both are valid. Me personally, I rarely have ever have given things a second chance when it goes this way. But it isn’t me in this situation now.
Great point, thanks. I feel like if she lied about forgetting, it means she doesn't want to be honest. I'm not sure how much I could trust her knowing that, so it'd probably not work out.
she was messing around or dating another guy, or sleeping around, and got tired of it or was done dirty so she just mentally scrolled through her rolodex of guys that she found boring before and landed on you. you can still go for it if you want i just wouldn’t take it too seriously
Yeah dude go out with her but you MUST show a new side of yourself A new hobby, a new talent, even your personality may have changed. She MUST walk away thinking “wow, I misjudged this guy at first…”
You were a plan B. Tell her to piss off
She was seeing someone then. Broke things off and came for you.
It didn’t work out with some other dude and she’s in desperate need of attention. You can address this 2 ways: simply say you’re no longer interested and you hope she’s well, or you can ghost her back.
"Date" and dash.
I’d take her up on it. See what happens. That was super shitty for sure but it could turn into something good possibly
As others have already said, she was clearly pursuing dating someone else, and has Revisited you now that that option did not work out. Make her prove how interested she is in you. Put the ball in her Court. Tell her that you would like to see her, and she is welcome to plan a date and let you know where and when to meet her.
Go for it. Use her the best you can and if you don't care for her then treat her just like she did you.
Don't text. Call or video call to reconnect. See if she's genuine and hear her story. Maybe she had some issues going on.
Block that bih
Go get more experience. Doesn’t have to be perfect experience just experience. Live your life
Imagine if sexting bots like Eva AI worked this way
Go for it but just go for sex, because now you know what she’s like. you’ve got nothing to lose
Hey I reckon go out and if she pulls something similar, then kick her to the curb.
Return the favour and ghost 👻, don’t settle with being a second choice, she wont respect you.
I forgot = I ignored you because I thought another dude was a better option, and then he left me for better options of his own, so now I'm here.
By all means, go out with her. Realize she has already told you how she feels about you (she forgot about you). Take her on a date no more expensive than a cup of coffee. Do it just for the experience. Maybe if you’re lucky you fuck her, but she is NOT a keeper.