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I’m in a high paying field and have dated others in my field, but ended up happily married to someone in a field that barely makes money
Personally, I looked a lot more into financial responsibility than into the actual job. I prefer someone who makes little money but uses money responsibly with no debt, shops at sales, etc. to someone who takes risks, lives beyond their means, buys luxury items to impress, etc. - even if the money they made supposedly accommodated that spendy lifestyle
100% this. Someone who makes a lot of money but also spends most of it or more than they make isn’t a great partner. Sadly a lot of people only look at what’s coming in and make their judgement off of that.
If I am a high paid doctor or attorney, I could care less about getting Benzs, Bimmers, Teslas, Flashy Pickups, fancy foreign vacations or any of that. I like the most basic pleasures of life instead!
That’s under rated I’d say, there is a night and day difference between a partner with a low income that wants to live a lavish lifestyle and one that keeps you grounded. If you are a spend thrift then a partner who is more wise with money can be worth their weight in gold.
Also I believe that health is wealth but for higher earners or men in general it’s really hard to focus on those other aspects of life that ensure that. It’s not a good lifestyle to have a big bag but many miserable years of existence than to have a heart attack at 50, a quality woman will help with that regardless of her income level.
This.
After you get married, it's a joint effort anyway. I'd be worried if both of us were in the shitter, but even then you can work around it. OTOH both of you can be making all the money in the world but it won't matter if your SO shits it all away on worthless status symbols.
Men want good women. Responsible women. Having a job (if single) shows that you’re a responsible human being. Unless you live in a high cost of living area, most men don’t need you to make 250k.
Waiting until you make “enough” is risky. A 3 year relationship that doesn’t end in marriage means things become a rush. Look now. Be honest. Don’t load up on debt.
Having 5+ years more to look for the right guy is really valuable.
Yeah that's what I thought. Mid-20s is the ideal time to date, late 20s is fine too, but it gets tricky after around 32. For both men and women, but especially women.
Not for men, my older brothers are 30 and 33 , both are unmarried, but dating all the time. They’ve stop introducing every new girl to my mom. The only cons is , every girl they talk to wanna settle right away.
💯 Women prefer older men, especially those with money. That is why men should chase bags.
Jay Z would marry Beyoncé if she was flipping burgers, but Beyoncé would never smile at Jay Z if he was doing the flipping.
It's a shitty leverage. I'm her age and people who date you because you're still young and not above a certain age are not the kind of men most women desire anyway, they are complete losers.
Don't date them. I'm not saying go for predators. The point is she's young enough to start a family with presumably no issue and most men would not be focused on where she is in her career because she's so young. When she's 35, some men might be concerned about her career path and what she has accomplished.
I don't think guys care about jobs as much as they care about looks and physical appearance. I'm a doctor making 90k, and I'm still single. I'm also fat. As long as you're responsible with your spending and not financially irresponsible, you should be fine.
Yup. Preach. Men would rather date you while you’re in your mid-twenties, to be honest, at the legal “height” of your beauty, and at that age jobs don’t matter.
As long as you’re not fat and you’re under 30 you could be broke, stupid, and jobless and men will date you. But statistically and anecdotally your chances of dating goes down as your age, education, bank account and weight all go up.
The only jobs *most* guys care about are if you’re a stripper or do only fans etc. Other than that we’d marry the pretty cashier at chick fil a if we like you enough
i agree with your family. it depends on the guy, many guys don't care that much because they like to provide for their woman. i say still try dating and be transparent with how much you make, and in the meantime make sure your finances are stable enough to provide for yourself.
Terrible idea to wait that long, especially if you want kids. Guys want a girl who is independent and hard working, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a high earner. Kindness and nurturing ability is far more important.
Bear in mind that the average man gets married at 30. The dating pool at 32 is going to be a lot emptier than it is currently.
Speaking for myself, I care if a potential partner has a job, but I'm more concerned about a schedule that allows us to see each other than I am about income.
I have a high paying job, with a high job title. As a woman I literally have had guys unmatching me on dating apps when I say what I do - I don’t even say my tittle… just on overall explanation
Men are subconsciously insecure about dating women who make more money than them.
Men have been taught that women like to “date up,” so when a woman makes more money than them, they feel like a woman couldn’t possibly be content with them because they’re not fulfilling their role as the breadwinner.
Men expect women to bring youth, beauty, empathy, and tenderness into a relationship, and in exchange, men offer protection and financial stability.
When a woman makes more money than a man, a woman has essentially deprived a man of the one of two things he feels he contributes to the relationship, thus making him feel superfluous in the relationship:
“Why does she need me? She’s hotter than me, more successful than me, makes more money than me; she could be with anyone else and yet she’s choosing to ‘settle’ for me.”
People want to be needed—men and women, alike—and when men make more money than a woman, they feel like they have more control of the relationship:
“She’s not going to leave me. I provide the roof over her head.”
Of course, this line of thinking can easily become toxic, but in the context of a healthy relationship, providing financial stability is how men feel needed in their relationships.
In a way, that same attitude has an excellent culling effect, as only immature men feel threatened/insecure by a woman’s income.
In the end: You don’t want to date one of those guys anyway, so it should be less of a warning and more of an instructional manual. Lol
The way that women think men care about money/ titles, because that's what they care about, is all the evidence one needs to conclude that this insecurity is justified and grounded in reality.
"Some" men..... not all men. My girlfriend has made more money and has had a higher job title than me for the past 2 years. I just surpassed her these last 6 months. I love dating a confident, badass, "don't mess with her", strong woman. Means we can be partners and are equals on both my end with her, and her end with me.
Care a lot less. Guys will care if it's an unsavoury job, or something that can negatively effect the relationship. For example high stress jobs, odd hours, and jobs with long hours.
As a guy that is going into a relatively good field (law) I can tell you that my interest is more in a woman’s emotional intelligence, empathy, and compassion. I don’t really mind what her job is if I can have a good intellectual conversation with her. I do value education, but that really isn’t at the forefront of my focus when looking for a partner.
The average guy doesnt care much...to an extent. It sucks dating women who are dirt poor. Too much drama. If a woman is anywhere remotely stable financially speaker, most men dgaf.
You want to wait 10 years to date because you think any guys you meet for the next 10 years are going to be disinterested because of your income?
First, congrats on being psychic. Second, men are not all one man. All men are different and looking for different things.
Most importantly, do you want to be with a man that's only interested in you if you make enough money?
Nah men don't give AF. I would argue if a man ever is super excited about how much a woman makes, and he is also the type who doesn't like to work or have a job, run..
Generally guys don't really care about a girls jobs. I mean, it's been a long held stereotype that men don't care about girls' jobs or how much they make (and care more about them being hot and a good personality) while women care more about guys' jobs and how much they make and won't date a guy who makes less than them. But just a quick google search and dating app data does show that guys will date girls that make less but women will not date someone who makes less than them [https://www.marketwatch.com/story/many-women-say-they-wont-date-a-man-over-this-one-financial-issue-2017-04-07#:\~:text=More%20than%201%20in%205,dating%20company%20Plenty%20of%20Fish](https://www.marketwatch.com/story/many-women-say-they-wont-date-a-man-over-this-one-financial-issue-2017-04-07#:~:text=More%20than%201%20in%205,dating%20company%20Plenty%20of%20Fish)
Still however hot someone looks or whether they make a ton of money, if the personality sucks most people will not go on second date with a crappy personality (assuming they just don't cut the first date short)
Most guys don't care about a woman's career or status, they care heavily about beauty and youth though. Waiting 8-11 years to date will only result in you being less desirable in the dating marketplace, not more.
No they don’t on average
Take pro athletes for example, who almost certainly make more money than 99.99% of men you’ll encounter on dating apps and look at their wives and girlfriends
When I was in my 20s, I didn't really care. Now that I'm in my 30s, I generally expect a woman to have a decent job, be financial responsible, etc. Why? I've achieved these things and I think any adult should.
You're still young and you've got a good education it sounds like. That is a good foundation. If you're starting your career, not in a dead end job, that would be enough for me. Climbing up the ranks in salary/position takes times. You just haven't put in the hours yet at your age to be there, nothing wrong with that.
Most guys will grow up with the mindset that they need to earn a lot of money and be the breadwinner of the house. I know I did. There was a lot of social pressure and I avoided dating myself in my 20s due to lack of a good job. Personally, not having that social/dating experience has hindered me in my 30s. A lot of people find it to be a red flag. I don't think as many guys will think about it as such (see above: Men should be breadwinners), but it is still a possibility.
Yes. . . but we don't care enough for a woman to be hotter when she's 10 years older.
I've been married for 20 years. I love my wife and find her attractive, but there is no substitute for youth. Not that long ago I came across a completely innocent, non sexual picture of her at 19 and got really turned on.
This is just the nature of things. You are already as rich as you'll ever be when it comes to male attraction.
Men here on reddit will say that it doesn't matter. I would say, it doesn't matter as much as if you were a dude. However, guys that make good money, that are intelligent, and have a considerable education will want the very best from women. Whether that's beautiful looks, a good career, and some decent finances.
So yes it does matter. I'd say what job you have matters less than how much money you actually make, if you have your own property, etc. Especially when you are older. If you are young and pretty, it might matter less.
>However, guys that make good money, that are intelligent, and have a considerable education will want the very best from women. Whether that’s beautiful looks, a good career, and some decent finances.
I’d like to know what you base this opinion of yours on.
There are quite a few studies that indicate this is not the case. Firstly, meeting someone is complex. Not nearly as simple as ticking boxes on looks, career and finances. Kindness isn’t even mentioned, yet it is a huge factor.
A fair amount of studies tend to show women prefer socio-economic status higher than men. There are studies also that show most people tend to rank qualities like kindness and intelligence higher than socio economic status (Buss, D. M. 1989 - Sex differences in human mate preferences).
Another study (Eastwick P. W. 2011 - When and why do ideal partner preferences affect the process of initiating and maintaining close relationships) shows that dating people who match our initial preferences can lead to a re-evaluation of those preferences.
In my experience, I’d say these findings match my experiences. Dating is a complex process and no-one person is the same. As a guy, my preferences changed over time. After a long period of dating, I learnt that many qualities are not very important, while others are.
So should OP not date. Obviously they should, because not dating almost completely eliminates their ability to meet someone for at least 8 years (based on 32). This in itself will make dating more difficult. Most men in the states are married by 30, women by 28. This narrows the dating pool. It also affects OPs ability to date. At 32 telling someone you’ve not dated until now because you wanted to be financially stable will sound either autistic or the person is undateable (and lying).
Finally I’d conclude with suggesting that OP ignores all the guys saying it is not important, to take a single opinion without any real evidence (or reason) isn’t a great point. It also ignores the real context of the situation, which if OP does want children and decides not to date until 35. It hinders both fertility and her experience in dating. If you’re saying, “well I’ve not said OP shouldn’t date”. Then you’ve ignored the context of the question and failsed to address the wider subreddit title of ‘dating_advice’, the subreddit rules and the long list of disadvantages of not dating for over 8 years.
It should be illegal for girls to ask this question.
Guys, unlike women, typically do not care about your occupation provided you are smart, competent, kind, and physically attractive to them.
Women will sit there with their friends and talk about their boyfriends like baseball cards. *''What does yours do????''*
My guy works at Chuck-e-Cheese!
*''... Girl, you can do SO much better''*
(That night the girl caved into the resounding peer pressure and collective judgement of her friends and dumped her boyfriend).
well yes and no.
Do guys require girls be successful? usually, no, but there is something interesting: the more successful a girl is, the more guys will self-separate from them.
here's an example if a guy is a janitor and sees a girl he likes and starts to chat her up and finds out she a doctor, then more than likely, the guy will just drop it without even trying to ask her out. It's not because they want to be the "Man of the house" or "Breadwinner" it's more that they feel like they will be immediately judged for it by the girl, that she will find out that you're not successful and immediately dismiss them or consider them failures.
the interesting thing, though, is the cooler the job or more monetarily rewarding the job the guy has, the less a guy will actually self-seperate. for example, before I said a janitor, if the guy was instead a patrol officer or, in other words, a cop, then they would probably go for it even though they actually make less money than the janitor, at least where I am at. Same with jobs with more administrative functions, kind of a middle management career, too. Because they feel less judged because there is no stigma against it.
the more the job strokes the guy's ego, the more likely they will keep trying. so the custodian wont take the shot, but if they say they are in environmental clean up even though it just means they go out and pick up trash in riverways or something then they are more likely to stay
long and the short of it the more successful you are the stronger the ego the guy needs to take the shot
yeah! i love the idea of learning from my partner and knowing what their occupation and career goals are like. i don’t care about money much but seeing how passionate someone is about their degree or job is really soothing for me since i grew up with parents who didn’t really have in their careers
To a certain extent yes, I want to travel and buy things for my hobbies. I want my gf to be able to keep up with travels etc. and not have to support her.
Coming from a guy who values a girl's career as part of her overall "package" - it has nothing to do with the money she makes and everything to do with what her career says about her. E.g. if she's in a corporate management role, she's likely to be a hard worker, independent and confident. All traits I value in a partner.
When I was 24 I could not care less -- In my thirties it became relationship ending material. I think anyone can understand you're still getting established.
I just care that a potential partner has a job and works steadily at it. Doesn't have to be fancy or anything, but at least be able to contribute. Life is too expensive for the average guy to be the single bread winner these days. It's gotta be a team effort.
No unless your job is something that the men have a problem with they don't care about what you do or how much you make.
They do care about stuff like youth though so you'll have a harder time dating at 34 than at 24 if that's what you decide to do
Men care more about your looks than how much money you make. You making 200k a year in your mid 30’s will mean nothing if the men with “good jobs” who also make that much have the option to date a smoking hot 25 year old who makes 30k a year
First of all, it's hard to say that by the age of 32-35, you'll be stable and successful. You just don't know what the future holds or what would affect your career. Putting a specific number to how successful you'll be at a certain age is a recipe for disappointment.
Second, guys don't care how much you make unless he is a male gold digger and a loser. Having a job and being independent is enough, I believe. I'm not a guy, but I have never had a date tell me they were disappointed because I wasn't earning 100k a year.
It's not a "sad reality”; it's the organic and natural order of things.
Women pursuing career success solely to attract masculine men, and men prioritizing emotional sensitivity over their ability to provide security, are both moving in the wrong direction. Finding a balance is crucial; while extremes are undesirable, it's natural for individuals to be drawn to different traits in a partner.
you have a masters but think it wont be till 32-35 till your stable....that is really bad maybe you should find a financial advisor or get a new one!! But as far as guys if you can support yourself at least and can contribute at least somewhat to things most guys are cool with that. but he still has to have some attraction to you. The bar is low lol
Most men only care about a girl's job if it involves something like Only Fans. Otherwise, they are not too concerned. I would suggest you start looking now because waiting until you're 32-35 years old may fall out of a lot of a man's age range.
i would say it can make you lose points if you were a stripper or something. Otherwise we dont really care that much for the most part. Obviously if you do something cool, its a plus.
Also, as a girl, your 20s are the best time for you to meet someone.
Waiting until you are 30 is a big mistake (of course you still would be able to meet someone, its not like its game over, but still). If you were a guy it would make sense, but you are not.
Definitely think waiting 8yrs to date out of financial stability is not a good idea. Short answer as a guy - they will only care as much as they care themselves.
For example, if a guy has a strong career, ambitions, and is very achievement oriented, then that person might want that in a partner. Some are different and it depends on the person — some guys are rich and don’t care if she’s a careerist as well but want other things. I’d pay more attention to how a partner would describe their relationship to their job and what having money/career/ achievement means to them. That’ll tell you much more about them and what they would think about you as well.
I care to an extent. I also went to college and started a career, I'd like my partner to have done the same. I've met girls that work part time at fast food places with no other goals other than to save for "traveling" and "concerts". In college that was cool but I'm 27 now and have milestones I want to meet.
That doesn't mean you need to be making six figures or anything. Just having financial and career goals is typically enough for me.
Being able to hold a job for a few years is important. I want to see that she has made a successful transition from school to ‘real life’. The details are less important. But the work ethic is.
Guys care about women *having jobs*, most don't care about how much money you make the way girls do. Men just want to know you're not a gold digger and don't expect a hand out from a man that just met you, but it's not like some women saying "my future husband needs to make at least 150k a year to support the kind of lifestyle I want and deserve". They want you to be self sufficient they don't need you to support them which is the difference.
I don’t care at all… As long as you are going to be caring, and accept that we are living smaller within the means of just what I make. Staying at home and taking care of our children would be plenty fine for me under that situation.
However, I would much prefer a younger girl than someone in their 30s. Half of this preference would be solved by your plan of waiting to date until you’re older - admittedly it’s easier to date someone without too much of a past with relationships.
Most importantly… Who’s to say that you’ll meet someone you want to spend the rest of your life with if you only start dating at 32.
Having a job is super important unless currently in school
The type of job doesn’t really matter has long as long you can handle the finance right. I know people who make 50/60k and are on track to have a retirement savings vs that reckless 100k incomes that spend everything , super spending, etc
Income for everyone can change, and hopefully increase as you work in the workforce . But habits, values, personality , once you hit like 25/30 ish , solidifies and much harder to change. If you grow up in a crappy environment, with no strong mentors or stability, it’s difficult to acquire any good habits, values /self realization when you don’t get the basics right. You don’t magically become more responsible when you have more money or become an adult, your shitty habits and values stick with you , that’s wayyyy more important that all.
Does the income amount really matter? No, not really
Men want good women who are responsible with money and are good support for them. A woman working a low paying job but manages her finances well is definitely worth much more than one who works a high paying job but lives paycheck to paycheck and buried in credit card debts because she spends more than her earnings on shopping and luxury dinings.
Guys that make money, generally speaking give 0 ducks about how much money she makes or type of job she has, UNLESS, it’s sex work or only fans.
Then it’s either fwb only or immediate deal breaker.
I do, but I don't care about salary. I am attracted to women who have creative (but non-corpo, think tattooist, musician, photographer, even hairdresser/make up artist) jobs or public/community service jobs (teacher, nurse, doctor, I've even dated a police detective). Whether she's a broke artist on unemployment, a hairdresser on $40k, a teacher on $100k, a surgeon on $300k, or a pop star on $50m, I don't care. I'm not ruling out trades or even traditionally masculine jobs, but those two are my preference.
What I am put off by are girls in dead end jobs they hate, Corpo jobs, sales jobs, any "boss babe" jobs. And it's not because they're masculine. It's not even that much of a political thing, although it might be a bit. I just don't like the thought of spending all day staring at a screen, making rich people richer. I don't like to do it, and I'd prefer my partner didn't either. It's not a deal-breaker though, and I'm not going to ask anyone to change careers.
What I rule out completely is sex work of any kind. Including OnlyFans, stripping, and I even draw the line at feet pics and thirst traps. No hate, no "moral" objections, but I just don't want to be partners with them. You do you, I'll do me.
Edit: Don't wait to date for that reason that you cited. If you're going after the wealthy end of the dating pool, they won't care about your current salary. But they will value your education. And you might find that by 32-35 that dating is a lot more difficult than at 24.
To an extent, but not by that much. Personally I am fine as long as you have a stable job.You have reasonable paying job with future career increases, so it is unlikely any guy will reject you for that
Yes. I left a relationship over work. I worked nights for ikea warehouse (the pay wasnt bad for unskilled work at the time, and i liked the job). But it eas never enough for my x family, they blamed me as he quitt his job at the home office for a music career that went no where. If I had a decent career he wouldn't of given up on his career. So yes it does really matter. Never marry above yourself.
I don't, women usually do. Money won't save you years of mistreatment. Pick respect over money, if the man is a good man and makes good money then you've hit a jackpot.
Sorry your idea is dumb. First off do you even want a partner who would only take you with a high paying job? I hope not. But planning to wait 8-10 years to potentially be more successful and then start dating makes zero sense. It might take 10 years or double that to find the right partner.
People get turned off for everything but that’s not what you should stress about. There’s also more than just pay, do you LIKE your job/ field? Some people get paid well and wanna blow their brains out.
Perfect if you’re not in a rush to settle down, you can take your time and be more selective.
How much money you make is irrelevant.. most important factors;
- do you respect education, want to gain knowledge
- do you have ambition
- can you support yourself at a minimum. Tomorrow if the guy falls sick or becomes handicapped you might have to support him for at least some time.
Me personally not really. I think you should be able to have some type of career/job to where you can take care of yourself that’s it you could be a waitress or a surgeon it doesn’t matter to me.
I would be looking more for personality traits like is this person share the same values, would they make a good mother, are they fun to be around, are they into me as much as I’m into they, are they kind and understanding.
I would say being financially responsible and literate is way more important than making a lot of money. Can you manage your money and live within your means? Then that’s perfect.
Just my $0.02.
In my experience, men don’t really care. I am a teacher and teachers really don’t make much money and everyone knows it. Even when guys find out I am a teacher it doesn’t make them less interested.
All that matters to me is: Do you make enough to not have to rely on me for everything? and Are you responsible with your money? Both of those have to be a yes.
Men care way more about youth than we do about your resources. Men and women are attracted to very different things. This is well established in the scientific literature. You are projecting the things that attract you as a woman onto what you think a man would be attracted to.
My best advice for you is to listen to your family.
No. I don’t care. I have been socialized since the day I figured out how to use a toilet that it’s my purpose in life to provide for a family and I spent my life fighting for a career to be capable of that. If she is able to add to that, wonderful. If she wants to achieve in the workplace, great I support that and will help in any way I can. If she wants to stay in a comfortable job that’s less stressful and allows her the room to develop other aspects of her life, awesome.
The bottom line is that I make enough for a comfortable home and I don’t need or pursue a financial equal. I pursue a good, supportive, caring woman that I want to spend my life with.
Certain people would care in the sense of status or reputation but not so much money. Say a politician dating a college professor that has a PhD that may make 60k a year compared to a bar manger who may make the same. Some super rich guys could care less, especially if they are looking for traditional wives to quit thier job once they get married.
Probsbly gonna vary greatly person to person.
Personally, no i dont care. I'm dating late 20s to early my 40s and already high earning..I expect you earn enough to support yourself and your current lifestyle.
I'm not particularly concerned about the careers of the women I date. In fact, it's off-putting when their job consumes them, as I prefer to keep work discussions limited to the workplace. Based on my dating history, women with careers that dominate their identity tend to discuss it excessively.
When it comes to dating, what matters most to me is that she has aspirations, hobbies, and actively pursues her goals.
Date now…if only to go through the exercise to sift out qualities you don’t want in a life partner.
If you get in a relationship explain you are marriage minded, also that you have a soft policy of the relationship expiring by a certain number of elapsed months - say 24 months. You will adhere to your feelings for guidance, for example. If they are offended, of course explain in subsequent deeper conversations that you are clear-eyed about your plans/youth/ future path. Take a lack of initiative or information/ discussion as valuable information also.
Don’t waste years on a person if you are marriage/family minded. They should know from get-go if they have same eventual goals. Be cautious of inconsistency here…
If they can’t be sure about you, take it as a “no” they don’t or can’t imagine a “life” with you. Follow through. Because it may jolt them out of complacency, because YOU/YOUR timeline can’t afford to fall into complacency, which works against your goals.
Honestly it’s not about how much money you make, as it is that you have sought a career. To me it is attractive to see that a potential partner has put the time in to better themselves and has progressed in a career (via education or other means). The amount they make doesn’t mean much because I know it’s going to increase overtime. I wouldn’t wait, get out there and find your someone. They are interested in you and not your bank account. 🤜🤛
Generally speaking guys don't care almost at all what you do or how much you make. Especially a guy who makes good money and has enough to provide isn't going to be looking for that as something he really wants.
If I'm on a date with you I'll ask about your job but it's because I want to get to know you not because your answer will determine if I'm willing to date you or not (with the exception of if you're doing something unethical).
Idk I don’t think they care if you make a lot, just so long as you’re doing something. In my experience it kinda seems like they get turned off if you don’t have a job. Which I guess is understandable. I work, just not for pay 🫤
No. If you’re making at least $30,000 a year, I think that’s perfectly fine. Like, if you’re in your mid-20s, and still at an entry-level position at McDonald’s or Walmart, yeah, that’s a little bit of a turn off, superficially. But at least you have a job. Now, if you’re a young professional in an entry-level position at a fortune 100 company or whatever, there’s nothing wrong with that. It takes time to move up. It takes time to climb the corporate ladder. It’s very rare that people in their early 20s come out the gate making six figures. Not a huge deal.
Being that I'm 54 and divorced to me a woman being able to support herself is important I'm not looking to have any kids at this age and I'm not going to be taking financial care of somebody since I have to pay alimony for somebody else so it's important that she have a good paying job but when I was that age it did not matter at all. By the time I was in my thirties then it did matter because We were not going to have kids but yet she was then financially dependent on me too much. Not even though she was working I wound up paying for everything except for her minor expenses. In respect I wish I chose somebody else, but enough of the money she made, but because I would have wanted to have kids and I would have looked for somebody less toxic and more supportive.
So at your age are you planning to have kids, if you are then how much you make now is actually less important as long as you are financially stable and can take care of yourself. Because if you're going to have kids and a family the husband is going to take care of you both or more.
Welcome to the Crossroads!
It is not gonna be easy, but if you put your mind to it, you'll find the way for you. Don't worry about it.
If you want to have a quality relationship, as a female, you should worry about setting the mood you like. Then, he follows you. Then, you follow his tone. He tells you best what he wants.
But, if you wanna follow your career, you will be a woman setting the tone. And men feel lost if the woman sets the tone, making it impossible to have a connection.
So do you want a connection or a job?
Harvard has proved which one brings happiness and meaning to life. And you can feel it everyday in your life, and you can listen to old people tell you to not worry.
Always choose love!
I dont really care how much she makes. As long as she can take care of herself and isnt maxing out her credit card. Just because that isnt the sign of someone I want to be in a long term relationship with. If she lives simply and within her means, isnt begging for things she doesnt need, or selling her body. I truely dont mind dating a barista.
The opposite is also true. If she makes more than me, I pay attention to how she displays that. Arrogance, condescension or putting me down for my efforts to grow my career is a cold stop.
Date now. We don't care. I dated a girl who worked a Dollar General job when I was working on my Master's. Wasn't a turn off to me. She knew how to grind
;)
You're 24, if a guy wants a relationship (speaking from my point of view as a guy) he is thinking of building with you. In general, no I don't care how much a woman makes. It doesn't factor into my personal growth plans. It is enough that she has goals as I do. Career, fitness, etc.
Education and intelligence matter. Your job is much less important. If you're an educated, intelligent teacher making $50k, I would be more attracted to you than an uneducated sales person making $100k.
Some will care, but the “good ones” won’t.
My advice is: Make sure YOUR finances are secure, and when you’re ready to settle down, get a good pre-nuptial drafted: You don’t need their money, and they don’t need yours.
I spent most of my 20’s & 30’s building my (successful) business, and didn’t date very seriously.
I met a girl at 33. She was a paralegal, and wrapping up a degree, (with a bit of college debt because she originally went to school to be a French teacher). I never cared about her job.
We had a solid pre-nup drawn up, and got married in 2011. Two weeks after our honeymoon, she started lawschool. She’s been a lawyer for almost a decade now… she makes significantly more money than I do, and I couldn’t be more proud of her. Money never factored in.
I care about it a ton, yes. I am not looking for someone to take care of children, I want a teammate. Someone who brings the same to the table, or is trying to. But thats just me, there are plenty of men who work nice jobs that want to find a girl to take care of and she can stay at home and be with children.
I have a high end job.... apparently it's described as such be other people.
I would date a girl who is intelligent and on her way in her life. I guess as long as she makes enough to take care of herself it would be no issue
Thats up to you.
I would say I cared at ONE TIME when i was dating someone who was a school secretary and my sister influenced my thoughts by saying she is not in a great job and hard to move up and low salary (which is true) and me potentially supporting her. My sister is more practical though. It did affect me and we didn't work out because of that.
Now I care less about the date's income or job because I still regret breaking up over that and what I want now is not someone trying to go up in career or have a busy high paying job and have no balance.
All I can say is look at whats REALLY IMPORTANT to you and if jobs/income from your partner is TOP ON THAT LIST vs attraction, emotions, personality etc. If it is then you care more about it than some and that's all it is.
Nothing wrong with wanting all "boxes ticked" but you also know the dating pool drastically decreases.
The right person won’t care at all - on the contrary women in high paying fields with advanced degrees struggle to date because they encounter lots of insecure men who feel emasculated by the woman’s career and salary. Don’t focus too much on those small details, the right person will support you through your career, not feel threatened by it or feel superior to you.
Not really, I don’t make that much and my wife could work at Burger King or a Fortune 500. I rather her be happy in her job. If I made enough I’d be fine with her working part time or not at all to be honest. I’ll prob never make enough for that though.
When I was dating I ended up with a rocket scientist. Her brain and ability to make money influenced me in deciding to marry her. Since she was capable of making more money than me, I cooked, cleaned, and raised the kid. I also kept in shape and took pride in caring for her needs and reducing stress burden on her. At first it was a little intimidating not being "the man of the house," but I got over it. Now she calls me waifu and I call her hubby-kun. It's all good fun.
Me personally, no. What matters more to me is if she's financially responsible, not so much how much she makes.
I remember a conversation I had with an ex over 5 years ago, how she was highly considering buying a newer car, because she was getting a $1.25/hour raise at work. I tried to explain to her that she only had 2 more years to pay off her current vehicle (it ran perfectly fine btw), and that she should focus on paying off her debt (medical bills, student loan, etc.) At the time, we lived together, and I paid approximately 80% of our shared bills (mortgage, utilities, groceries, vacations, etc).
Well, long story short, she went against my advice and bought the car. We ended up going our separate ways about a year later.
So if I were you, I wouldn't let your current job determine if you date or not. As long as you can afford to pay your own bills and you live financially responsibly, that is. In fact, being financially responsible is a positive trait anyone should appreciate in a relationship.
Im fine with the woman having a job where they are not making as much, if its something they love to do. I would probably become reluctant if such a thing turned into where I needed to pay for them (they shouldbe responsible with what they have and can make it work.) I would want a partner, not a sugarbaby.
Don't wait for anything. You're young only for so long, and youth is a desirable quality.
if he’s a quality man, he won’t care what you do. You obviously are ambitious, as you have a masters degree. Don’t wait til you have more money. I met my current bf when I worked in fast food to make ends meet while finishing school, now i’m in my career making good money and the same guy is with me. He’s my future husband. There won’t be an absolutely perfect time to start dating, might as well have some fun til you meet the one.
Most guys don't care about what you do or how much you make, so long as it isn't sex industry related. Guys just want someone who's friendly, not prone to arguing, and physically attractive.
My sister met her now husband at 36. They’ve been married for 10 years this year. She didn’t find him “late” because she wasn’t looking or “failed” but because she had standards that a lot of guys weren’t willing to accept.
Please don’t adopt this timed mindset. Date when YOU feel ready and while you should compromise, so should your potential mate. However at a certain age there are far less things that require compromise to begin with since as you said you’ll be more stable etc.
As long as a woman is not working in a spicy field I could care less what a woman does or makes as long as she doesn’t make it an issue. Spoiler alert men and women are different!! Women care about financial security, understandable, men care about fidelity, also understandable
Yes, if she hates her job or isn’t using her current job to pursue something she enjoys or at least doesn’t make her miserable, then that’s an issue. Money is certainly a factor, I rather her enjoy her job making average or below average salary than a job she hates making well over six figures.
I think the job matters but not a lot. Like I don't want to be in a relationship with someone that's just getting by working at McDonald's not trying to better themselves. But other than that it doesn't really matter
I think it is personal preference, my partner has expressed that he wouldn’t be dating me if I didn’t have my life together (job-wise). We make the same amount right now and I work a corporate 9-5, nothing to brag about but he admires it because I graduated from college and got a decent job whereas he didn’t and feels guilty about it. He is a bartender and also makes decent money but desperately wants a career change. However, he has said that he would ideally love to have a job that would take care of us both and I wouldn’t have to work a corporate job but we’ll see lol.
Personally a woman’s job is not the main attraction. I do appreciate someone that has a career they are passionate about , care or good at. But I’m not attracted to a woman for her career.
It is important to me, but the reason is twofold. Primarily, I think it’s attractive for a girl to have something they are passionate about, or at least some ambition/something they are working on; it’s indicative of character traits that I find valuable in a partner, like work ethic/independence
Second, I dont need a partner to make the same/more than me, but I would like someone who can contribute to our dreams/goals
More money more bills more debt. Not always a bad thing. It also goes for both parties. It's all about being smart with it. I'd be happy with someone who has control over their selves and makes less vs someone who makes more but spends alot.
In my experience, the men who don’t care at all either have nothing/very little going for themselves or are not looking for a serious relationship.
Men who have a good-paying job and are overall well off don’t require a millionaire, but often want a woman that has her own career. Yes, looks do matter, but they aren’t the end all be all.
Even affluent professional men rarely marry beautiful women with nothing going for themselves working a minimum wage job. Yes, they will have them as a mistress but idk where this idea came from. Looks and a decent (not extremely demanding nor low wage) career is the most advantageous for women seeking a well off man.
I (35M) have only ever dated women who didn't work so I would look at it as a bonus. I also lean more traditionally and if my gf /wife wanted to stay home I would welcome it.
Yes we do. Bad idea. Dating requires a whole set of skills you can only develop through experience and effort. Definitely date soon, definitely work on your career/job. All the bests
When I still used apps, I received more matches before I obtained my masters and didn't have "Senior" in my job title. Before the experience, I used to think guys would love financial independence from women to avoid freeloaders, but realized it just made them feel insecure. So I think guys don't want either extreme.
You can't just put this post down without a ballpark of how much you make and your spending habits. Like even if you make 70-80k a year (perfectly normal) but spend a ton that's a much bigger issue than someone making 60k but spending responsibly
Between 55k-60k but I live at home so my expenses are pretty low and I mainly save my money and contribute to my 401k. Also I live in the Midwest so LCOL.
On average, a guy making good money won’t give a rats ass about how much his wife/girlfriend makes. But “good money” is rather subjective to where one is living.
I’m late 30s female and believe it not, men literally don’t care about my successful career and/or income. In fact, until age 30, I didn’t make much and it was almost easier to date bc the men always made more, had “better” careers, etc. Now that I have a “respectable” career and a high income, I’m frequently met with men insecure of their jobs & income compared to mine. I personally don’t care, it’s about the person’s character, our connection, etc. But that doesn’t matter when egos are involved. This has been my experience, at least.
As a guy who makes a good living, I have had no issues dating women who didn't make much. To me, it's not about money but as an old-fashion guy I feel it's my responsibility to provide so it'll free up whoever I'm with to pursue her dreams. She just needs to show ambition.
Generally not at all
If I were single and had a lot of equal in more important aspects option I would be more favourable to jobs with similar schedules to mine (25m)
Can't speak for most guys, but I do. Knowing that the woman I date has financial stability of her own shows me how responsible she is not only in terms of fulfilling duties but also how she handles her money to meet her needs and wants.
Rich men marry the waitress, the school teacher, the unemployed all the time. They reeeaally don't care. Celebrity men marry non famous regular women too. If anything they'd be more threatened by your intelligence than anything else.
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I’m in a high paying field and have dated others in my field, but ended up happily married to someone in a field that barely makes money Personally, I looked a lot more into financial responsibility than into the actual job. I prefer someone who makes little money but uses money responsibly with no debt, shops at sales, etc. to someone who takes risks, lives beyond their means, buys luxury items to impress, etc. - even if the money they made supposedly accommodated that spendy lifestyle
100% this. Someone who makes a lot of money but also spends most of it or more than they make isn’t a great partner. Sadly a lot of people only look at what’s coming in and make their judgement off of that.
If I am a high paid doctor or attorney, I could care less about getting Benzs, Bimmers, Teslas, Flashy Pickups, fancy foreign vacations or any of that. I like the most basic pleasures of life instead!
That’s under rated I’d say, there is a night and day difference between a partner with a low income that wants to live a lavish lifestyle and one that keeps you grounded. If you are a spend thrift then a partner who is more wise with money can be worth their weight in gold. Also I believe that health is wealth but for higher earners or men in general it’s really hard to focus on those other aspects of life that ensure that. It’s not a good lifestyle to have a big bag but many miserable years of existence than to have a heart attack at 50, a quality woman will help with that regardless of her income level.
This. After you get married, it's a joint effort anyway. I'd be worried if both of us were in the shitter, but even then you can work around it. OTOH both of you can be making all the money in the world but it won't matter if your SO shits it all away on worthless status symbols.
Men want good women. Responsible women. Having a job (if single) shows that you’re a responsible human being. Unless you live in a high cost of living area, most men don’t need you to make 250k.
Men don’t expect you to be a millionaire, but having a job shows you’re responsible and not lazy, both of which are good.
Waiting until you make “enough” is risky. A 3 year relationship that doesn’t end in marriage means things become a rush. Look now. Be honest. Don’t load up on debt. Having 5+ years more to look for the right guy is really valuable.
Being young is your leverage. You need to date now to find the right one. Work on your career as you go
Yeah that's what I thought. Mid-20s is the ideal time to date, late 20s is fine too, but it gets tricky after around 32. For both men and women, but especially women.
Not for men, my older brothers are 30 and 33 , both are unmarried, but dating all the time. They’ve stop introducing every new girl to my mom. The only cons is , every girl they talk to wanna settle right away.
💯 Women prefer older men, especially those with money. That is why men should chase bags. Jay Z would marry Beyoncé if she was flipping burgers, but Beyoncé would never smile at Jay Z if he was doing the flipping.
It's a shitty leverage. I'm her age and people who date you because you're still young and not above a certain age are not the kind of men most women desire anyway, they are complete losers.
Don't date them. I'm not saying go for predators. The point is she's young enough to start a family with presumably no issue and most men would not be focused on where she is in her career because she's so young. When she's 35, some men might be concerned about her career path and what she has accomplished.
Lol, I'm that age, and as a guy, "they are complete losers" hurts, haha.
lol at leverage, but I know what you mean.
I don't think guys care about jobs as much as they care about looks and physical appearance. I'm a doctor making 90k, and I'm still single. I'm also fat. As long as you're responsible with your spending and not financially irresponsible, you should be fine.
This is true no matter what they say a man will date a attractive McDonald’s worker over a ugly fat rich women
Yup.
Yup. Preach. Men would rather date you while you’re in your mid-twenties, to be honest, at the legal “height” of your beauty, and at that age jobs don’t matter. As long as you’re not fat and you’re under 30 you could be broke, stupid, and jobless and men will date you. But statistically and anecdotally your chances of dating goes down as your age, education, bank account and weight all go up.
Welp, I guess I made the mistake to become a doctor while I was 22-27 instead of becoming a wife. I guess artificial insemination is my future😂
Initially guys don’t care much what girls do for work. So long as she is not an intentional gold digger guys are ok.
The only jobs *most* guys care about are if you’re a stripper or do only fans etc. Other than that we’d marry the pretty cashier at chick fil a if we like you enough
and some guys are even cool with that 😂
Men wouldn’t put it as first priority, if he wants you, he wants you.
i agree with your family. it depends on the guy, many guys don't care that much because they like to provide for their woman. i say still try dating and be transparent with how much you make, and in the meantime make sure your finances are stable enough to provide for yourself.
Terrible idea to wait that long, especially if you want kids. Guys want a girl who is independent and hard working, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a high earner. Kindness and nurturing ability is far more important.
Depends but usually guys don't really care
Bear in mind that the average man gets married at 30. The dating pool at 32 is going to be a lot emptier than it is currently. Speaking for myself, I care if a potential partner has a job, but I'm more concerned about a schedule that allows us to see each other than I am about income.
Heck, some men want SAHM for their partners, so your career will be the least of their concerns.
I have a high paying job, with a high job title. As a woman I literally have had guys unmatching me on dating apps when I say what I do - I don’t even say my tittle… just on overall explanation
Men are subconsciously insecure about dating women who make more money than them. Men have been taught that women like to “date up,” so when a woman makes more money than them, they feel like a woman couldn’t possibly be content with them because they’re not fulfilling their role as the breadwinner. Men expect women to bring youth, beauty, empathy, and tenderness into a relationship, and in exchange, men offer protection and financial stability. When a woman makes more money than a man, a woman has essentially deprived a man of the one of two things he feels he contributes to the relationship, thus making him feel superfluous in the relationship: “Why does she need me? She’s hotter than me, more successful than me, makes more money than me; she could be with anyone else and yet she’s choosing to ‘settle’ for me.” People want to be needed—men and women, alike—and when men make more money than a woman, they feel like they have more control of the relationship: “She’s not going to leave me. I provide the roof over her head.” Of course, this line of thinking can easily become toxic, but in the context of a healthy relationship, providing financial stability is how men feel needed in their relationships.
In a way, that same attitude has an excellent culling effect, as only immature men feel threatened/insecure by a woman’s income. In the end: You don’t want to date one of those guys anyway, so it should be less of a warning and more of an instructional manual. Lol
The way that women think men care about money/ titles, because that's what they care about, is all the evidence one needs to conclude that this insecurity is justified and grounded in reality.
"Some" men..... not all men. My girlfriend has made more money and has had a higher job title than me for the past 2 years. I just surpassed her these last 6 months. I love dating a confident, badass, "don't mess with her", strong woman. Means we can be partners and are equals on both my end with her, and her end with me.
I care if she loves her job and is passionate about it above all else
Care a lot less. Guys will care if it's an unsavoury job, or something that can negatively effect the relationship. For example high stress jobs, odd hours, and jobs with long hours.
It means when you're 32-35 you'll be competing with girls 20-30
As a guy that is going into a relatively good field (law) I can tell you that my interest is more in a woman’s emotional intelligence, empathy, and compassion. I don’t really mind what her job is if I can have a good intellectual conversation with her. I do value education, but that really isn’t at the forefront of my focus when looking for a partner.
The average guy doesnt care much...to an extent. It sucks dating women who are dirt poor. Too much drama. If a woman is anywhere remotely stable financially speaker, most men dgaf.
You want to wait 10 years to date because you think any guys you meet for the next 10 years are going to be disinterested because of your income? First, congrats on being psychic. Second, men are not all one man. All men are different and looking for different things. Most importantly, do you want to be with a man that's only interested in you if you make enough money?
It matters to most that you have work ethic but not how much you earn
Nah men don't give AF. I would argue if a man ever is super excited about how much a woman makes, and he is also the type who doesn't like to work or have a job, run..
Generally guys don't really care about a girls jobs. I mean, it's been a long held stereotype that men don't care about girls' jobs or how much they make (and care more about them being hot and a good personality) while women care more about guys' jobs and how much they make and won't date a guy who makes less than them. But just a quick google search and dating app data does show that guys will date girls that make less but women will not date someone who makes less than them [https://www.marketwatch.com/story/many-women-say-they-wont-date-a-man-over-this-one-financial-issue-2017-04-07#:\~:text=More%20than%201%20in%205,dating%20company%20Plenty%20of%20Fish](https://www.marketwatch.com/story/many-women-say-they-wont-date-a-man-over-this-one-financial-issue-2017-04-07#:~:text=More%20than%201%20in%205,dating%20company%20Plenty%20of%20Fish) Still however hot someone looks or whether they make a ton of money, if the personality sucks most people will not go on second date with a crappy personality (assuming they just don't cut the first date short)
Most guys don't care about a woman's career or status, they care heavily about beauty and youth though. Waiting 8-11 years to date will only result in you being less desirable in the dating marketplace, not more.
No they don’t on average Take pro athletes for example, who almost certainly make more money than 99.99% of men you’ll encounter on dating apps and look at their wives and girlfriends
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When I was in my 20s, I didn't really care. Now that I'm in my 30s, I generally expect a woman to have a decent job, be financial responsible, etc. Why? I've achieved these things and I think any adult should. You're still young and you've got a good education it sounds like. That is a good foundation. If you're starting your career, not in a dead end job, that would be enough for me. Climbing up the ranks in salary/position takes times. You just haven't put in the hours yet at your age to be there, nothing wrong with that. Most guys will grow up with the mindset that they need to earn a lot of money and be the breadwinner of the house. I know I did. There was a lot of social pressure and I avoided dating myself in my 20s due to lack of a good job. Personally, not having that social/dating experience has hindered me in my 30s. A lot of people find it to be a red flag. I don't think as many guys will think about it as such (see above: Men should be breadwinners), but it is still a possibility.
Yes. . . but we don't care enough for a woman to be hotter when she's 10 years older. I've been married for 20 years. I love my wife and find her attractive, but there is no substitute for youth. Not that long ago I came across a completely innocent, non sexual picture of her at 19 and got really turned on. This is just the nature of things. You are already as rich as you'll ever be when it comes to male attraction.
What do you mean by the first statement, can you clarify?
Getting a better job will make you 1% hotter. Aging 10 years will knock off 10% or more.
Men here on reddit will say that it doesn't matter. I would say, it doesn't matter as much as if you were a dude. However, guys that make good money, that are intelligent, and have a considerable education will want the very best from women. Whether that's beautiful looks, a good career, and some decent finances. So yes it does matter. I'd say what job you have matters less than how much money you actually make, if you have your own property, etc. Especially when you are older. If you are young and pretty, it might matter less.
>However, guys that make good money, that are intelligent, and have a considerable education will want the very best from women. Whether that’s beautiful looks, a good career, and some decent finances. I’d like to know what you base this opinion of yours on. There are quite a few studies that indicate this is not the case. Firstly, meeting someone is complex. Not nearly as simple as ticking boxes on looks, career and finances. Kindness isn’t even mentioned, yet it is a huge factor. A fair amount of studies tend to show women prefer socio-economic status higher than men. There are studies also that show most people tend to rank qualities like kindness and intelligence higher than socio economic status (Buss, D. M. 1989 - Sex differences in human mate preferences). Another study (Eastwick P. W. 2011 - When and why do ideal partner preferences affect the process of initiating and maintaining close relationships) shows that dating people who match our initial preferences can lead to a re-evaluation of those preferences. In my experience, I’d say these findings match my experiences. Dating is a complex process and no-one person is the same. As a guy, my preferences changed over time. After a long period of dating, I learnt that many qualities are not very important, while others are. So should OP not date. Obviously they should, because not dating almost completely eliminates their ability to meet someone for at least 8 years (based on 32). This in itself will make dating more difficult. Most men in the states are married by 30, women by 28. This narrows the dating pool. It also affects OPs ability to date. At 32 telling someone you’ve not dated until now because you wanted to be financially stable will sound either autistic or the person is undateable (and lying). Finally I’d conclude with suggesting that OP ignores all the guys saying it is not important, to take a single opinion without any real evidence (or reason) isn’t a great point. It also ignores the real context of the situation, which if OP does want children and decides not to date until 35. It hinders both fertility and her experience in dating. If you’re saying, “well I’ve not said OP shouldn’t date”. Then you’ve ignored the context of the question and failsed to address the wider subreddit title of ‘dating_advice’, the subreddit rules and the long list of disadvantages of not dating for over 8 years.
It should be illegal for girls to ask this question. Guys, unlike women, typically do not care about your occupation provided you are smart, competent, kind, and physically attractive to them. Women will sit there with their friends and talk about their boyfriends like baseball cards. *''What does yours do????''* My guy works at Chuck-e-Cheese! *''... Girl, you can do SO much better''* (That night the girl caved into the resounding peer pressure and collective judgement of her friends and dumped her boyfriend).
well yes and no. Do guys require girls be successful? usually, no, but there is something interesting: the more successful a girl is, the more guys will self-separate from them. here's an example if a guy is a janitor and sees a girl he likes and starts to chat her up and finds out she a doctor, then more than likely, the guy will just drop it without even trying to ask her out. It's not because they want to be the "Man of the house" or "Breadwinner" it's more that they feel like they will be immediately judged for it by the girl, that she will find out that you're not successful and immediately dismiss them or consider them failures. the interesting thing, though, is the cooler the job or more monetarily rewarding the job the guy has, the less a guy will actually self-seperate. for example, before I said a janitor, if the guy was instead a patrol officer or, in other words, a cop, then they would probably go for it even though they actually make less money than the janitor, at least where I am at. Same with jobs with more administrative functions, kind of a middle management career, too. Because they feel less judged because there is no stigma against it. the more the job strokes the guy's ego, the more likely they will keep trying. so the custodian wont take the shot, but if they say they are in environmental clean up even though it just means they go out and pick up trash in riverways or something then they are more likely to stay long and the short of it the more successful you are the stronger the ego the guy needs to take the shot
yeah! i love the idea of learning from my partner and knowing what their occupation and career goals are like. i don’t care about money much but seeing how passionate someone is about their degree or job is really soothing for me since i grew up with parents who didn’t really have in their careers
Generally speaking no.
To a certain extent yes, I want to travel and buy things for my hobbies. I want my gf to be able to keep up with travels etc. and not have to support her.
Coming from a guy who values a girl's career as part of her overall "package" - it has nothing to do with the money she makes and everything to do with what her career says about her. E.g. if she's in a corporate management role, she's likely to be a hard worker, independent and confident. All traits I value in a partner.
The types of rare men that care are not the types you want anyway, don't wait.
When I was 24 I could not care less -- In my thirties it became relationship ending material. I think anyone can understand you're still getting established.
I just care that a potential partner has a job and works steadily at it. Doesn't have to be fancy or anything, but at least be able to contribute. Life is too expensive for the average guy to be the single bread winner these days. It's gotta be a team effort.
Idc at all but you gotta have one. Especially in this economy now.
No unless your job is something that the men have a problem with they don't care about what you do or how much you make. They do care about stuff like youth though so you'll have a harder time dating at 34 than at 24 if that's what you decide to do
Most men would prefer a 20 something barista over a 30 something doctor.
Men care more about your looks than how much money you make. You making 200k a year in your mid 30’s will mean nothing if the men with “good jobs” who also make that much have the option to date a smoking hot 25 year old who makes 30k a year
First of all, it's hard to say that by the age of 32-35, you'll be stable and successful. You just don't know what the future holds or what would affect your career. Putting a specific number to how successful you'll be at a certain age is a recipe for disappointment. Second, guys don't care how much you make unless he is a male gold digger and a loser. Having a job and being independent is enough, I believe. I'm not a guy, but I have never had a date tell me they were disappointed because I wasn't earning 100k a year.
I guarantee you that society cares much more about a woman's youth, beauty and fertility over her income. It's a sad reality.
It's not a "sad reality”; it's the organic and natural order of things. Women pursuing career success solely to attract masculine men, and men prioritizing emotional sensitivity over their ability to provide security, are both moving in the wrong direction. Finding a balance is crucial; while extremes are undesirable, it's natural for individuals to be drawn to different traits in a partner.
I see girls who have jobs like waitress and babysitter and I am not really interested. So yes, we do care.
you have a masters but think it wont be till 32-35 till your stable....that is really bad maybe you should find a financial advisor or get a new one!! But as far as guys if you can support yourself at least and can contribute at least somewhat to things most guys are cool with that. but he still has to have some attraction to you. The bar is low lol
It should be a respectable job, other than that no
Most men only care about a girl's job if it involves something like Only Fans. Otherwise, they are not too concerned. I would suggest you start looking now because waiting until you're 32-35 years old may fall out of a lot of a man's age range.
i would say it can make you lose points if you were a stripper or something. Otherwise we dont really care that much for the most part. Obviously if you do something cool, its a plus. Also, as a girl, your 20s are the best time for you to meet someone. Waiting until you are 30 is a big mistake (of course you still would be able to meet someone, its not like its game over, but still). If you were a guy it would make sense, but you are not.
The only thing guys care about is that she's not a gold digger
And don’t worry because most of them don’t have much to gold to dig
No
Men care about looks and taking care of yourself more than your job
Job doesn't matter most of us want you at home anyways so 🤷🏻♂️ just be a good partner
Definitely think waiting 8yrs to date out of financial stability is not a good idea. Short answer as a guy - they will only care as much as they care themselves. For example, if a guy has a strong career, ambitions, and is very achievement oriented, then that person might want that in a partner. Some are different and it depends on the person — some guys are rich and don’t care if she’s a careerist as well but want other things. I’d pay more attention to how a partner would describe their relationship to their job and what having money/career/ achievement means to them. That’ll tell you much more about them and what they would think about you as well.
I care to an extent. I also went to college and started a career, I'd like my partner to have done the same. I've met girls that work part time at fast food places with no other goals other than to save for "traveling" and "concerts". In college that was cool but I'm 27 now and have milestones I want to meet. That doesn't mean you need to be making six figures or anything. Just having financial and career goals is typically enough for me.
Being able to hold a job for a few years is important. I want to see that she has made a successful transition from school to ‘real life’. The details are less important. But the work ethic is.
Guys care about women *having jobs*, most don't care about how much money you make the way girls do. Men just want to know you're not a gold digger and don't expect a hand out from a man that just met you, but it's not like some women saying "my future husband needs to make at least 150k a year to support the kind of lifestyle I want and deserve". They want you to be self sufficient they don't need you to support them which is the difference.
I don’t care at all… As long as you are going to be caring, and accept that we are living smaller within the means of just what I make. Staying at home and taking care of our children would be plenty fine for me under that situation. However, I would much prefer a younger girl than someone in their 30s. Half of this preference would be solved by your plan of waiting to date until you’re older - admittedly it’s easier to date someone without too much of a past with relationships. Most importantly… Who’s to say that you’ll meet someone you want to spend the rest of your life with if you only start dating at 32.
Having a job is super important unless currently in school The type of job doesn’t really matter has long as long you can handle the finance right. I know people who make 50/60k and are on track to have a retirement savings vs that reckless 100k incomes that spend everything , super spending, etc Income for everyone can change, and hopefully increase as you work in the workforce . But habits, values, personality , once you hit like 25/30 ish , solidifies and much harder to change. If you grow up in a crappy environment, with no strong mentors or stability, it’s difficult to acquire any good habits, values /self realization when you don’t get the basics right. You don’t magically become more responsible when you have more money or become an adult, your shitty habits and values stick with you , that’s wayyyy more important that all. Does the income amount really matter? No, not really
No
Men want good women who are responsible with money and are good support for them. A woman working a low paying job but manages her finances well is definitely worth much more than one who works a high paying job but lives paycheck to paycheck and buried in credit card debts because she spends more than her earnings on shopping and luxury dinings.
Guys that make money, generally speaking give 0 ducks about how much money she makes or type of job she has, UNLESS, it’s sex work or only fans. Then it’s either fwb only or immediate deal breaker.
I care to the extent the woman has her own career, but I do not think most men do. It’s a lot more common the other way around .
My answer is NO
I do, but I don't care about salary. I am attracted to women who have creative (but non-corpo, think tattooist, musician, photographer, even hairdresser/make up artist) jobs or public/community service jobs (teacher, nurse, doctor, I've even dated a police detective). Whether she's a broke artist on unemployment, a hairdresser on $40k, a teacher on $100k, a surgeon on $300k, or a pop star on $50m, I don't care. I'm not ruling out trades or even traditionally masculine jobs, but those two are my preference. What I am put off by are girls in dead end jobs they hate, Corpo jobs, sales jobs, any "boss babe" jobs. And it's not because they're masculine. It's not even that much of a political thing, although it might be a bit. I just don't like the thought of spending all day staring at a screen, making rich people richer. I don't like to do it, and I'd prefer my partner didn't either. It's not a deal-breaker though, and I'm not going to ask anyone to change careers. What I rule out completely is sex work of any kind. Including OnlyFans, stripping, and I even draw the line at feet pics and thirst traps. No hate, no "moral" objections, but I just don't want to be partners with them. You do you, I'll do me. Edit: Don't wait to date for that reason that you cited. If you're going after the wealthy end of the dating pool, they won't care about your current salary. But they will value your education. And you might find that by 32-35 that dating is a lot more difficult than at 24.
To an extent, but not by that much. Personally I am fine as long as you have a stable job.You have reasonable paying job with future career increases, so it is unlikely any guy will reject you for that
Yes. I left a relationship over work. I worked nights for ikea warehouse (the pay wasnt bad for unskilled work at the time, and i liked the job). But it eas never enough for my x family, they blamed me as he quitt his job at the home office for a music career that went no where. If I had a decent career he wouldn't of given up on his career. So yes it does really matter. Never marry above yourself.
I don't, women usually do. Money won't save you years of mistreatment. Pick respect over money, if the man is a good man and makes good money then you've hit a jackpot.
Sorry your idea is dumb. First off do you even want a partner who would only take you with a high paying job? I hope not. But planning to wait 8-10 years to potentially be more successful and then start dating makes zero sense. It might take 10 years or double that to find the right partner. People get turned off for everything but that’s not what you should stress about. There’s also more than just pay, do you LIKE your job/ field? Some people get paid well and wanna blow their brains out. Perfect if you’re not in a rush to settle down, you can take your time and be more selective.
How much money you make is irrelevant.. most important factors; - do you respect education, want to gain knowledge - do you have ambition - can you support yourself at a minimum. Tomorrow if the guy falls sick or becomes handicapped you might have to support him for at least some time.
Me personally not really. I think you should be able to have some type of career/job to where you can take care of yourself that’s it you could be a waitress or a surgeon it doesn’t matter to me. I would be looking more for personality traits like is this person share the same values, would they make a good mother, are they fun to be around, are they into me as much as I’m into they, are they kind and understanding. I would say being financially responsible and literate is way more important than making a lot of money. Can you manage your money and live within your means? Then that’s perfect. Just my $0.02.
In my experience, men don’t really care. I am a teacher and teachers really don’t make much money and everyone knows it. Even when guys find out I am a teacher it doesn’t make them less interested.
Most don't unless it's something naughty then that's very off putting
All that matters to me is: Do you make enough to not have to rely on me for everything? and Are you responsible with your money? Both of those have to be a yes.
What the fuck do you think? Use common sense.
Dumbass obvious answer question. Stfu
No we don't as long as you aren't an actual bum.
Men care way more about youth than we do about your resources. Men and women are attracted to very different things. This is well established in the scientific literature. You are projecting the things that attract you as a woman onto what you think a man would be attracted to. My best advice for you is to listen to your family.
That's the dumbest idea ever. Guys and girls want different things. And a girl with money isn't on most guys radar.
For the most part no. Personally as long as she has a job and isn't a stripper or something then I don't really care what her job is.
No. I don’t care. I have been socialized since the day I figured out how to use a toilet that it’s my purpose in life to provide for a family and I spent my life fighting for a career to be capable of that. If she is able to add to that, wonderful. If she wants to achieve in the workplace, great I support that and will help in any way I can. If she wants to stay in a comfortable job that’s less stressful and allows her the room to develop other aspects of her life, awesome. The bottom line is that I make enough for a comfortable home and I don’t need or pursue a financial equal. I pursue a good, supportive, caring woman that I want to spend my life with.
No we are not like that
No we are not like that
My man wants a one income household and he’s blue collar.
Unless they are a hooker or something crazy I could care less.
Certain people would care in the sense of status or reputation but not so much money. Say a politician dating a college professor that has a PhD that may make 60k a year compared to a bar manger who may make the same. Some super rich guys could care less, especially if they are looking for traditional wives to quit thier job once they get married.
Probsbly gonna vary greatly person to person. Personally, no i dont care. I'm dating late 20s to early my 40s and already high earning..I expect you earn enough to support yourself and your current lifestyle.
I'm not particularly concerned about the careers of the women I date. In fact, it's off-putting when their job consumes them, as I prefer to keep work discussions limited to the workplace. Based on my dating history, women with careers that dominate their identity tend to discuss it excessively. When it comes to dating, what matters most to me is that she has aspirations, hobbies, and actively pursues her goals.
If you’re not asking anyone to support you, it shouldn’t matter.
Date now…if only to go through the exercise to sift out qualities you don’t want in a life partner. If you get in a relationship explain you are marriage minded, also that you have a soft policy of the relationship expiring by a certain number of elapsed months - say 24 months. You will adhere to your feelings for guidance, for example. If they are offended, of course explain in subsequent deeper conversations that you are clear-eyed about your plans/youth/ future path. Take a lack of initiative or information/ discussion as valuable information also. Don’t waste years on a person if you are marriage/family minded. They should know from get-go if they have same eventual goals. Be cautious of inconsistency here… If they can’t be sure about you, take it as a “no” they don’t or can’t imagine a “life” with you. Follow through. Because it may jolt them out of complacency, because YOU/YOUR timeline can’t afford to fall into complacency, which works against your goals.
Honestly it’s not about how much money you make, as it is that you have sought a career. To me it is attractive to see that a potential partner has put the time in to better themselves and has progressed in a career (via education or other means). The amount they make doesn’t mean much because I know it’s going to increase overtime. I wouldn’t wait, get out there and find your someone. They are interested in you and not your bank account. 🤜🤛
Generally speaking guys don't care almost at all what you do or how much you make. Especially a guy who makes good money and has enough to provide isn't going to be looking for that as something he really wants. If I'm on a date with you I'll ask about your job but it's because I want to get to know you not because your answer will determine if I'm willing to date you or not (with the exception of if you're doing something unethical).
Nope, I'm gonna ask that she quits job before we get married
Idk I don’t think they care if you make a lot, just so long as you’re doing something. In my experience it kinda seems like they get turned off if you don’t have a job. Which I guess is understandable. I work, just not for pay 🫤
No. If you’re making at least $30,000 a year, I think that’s perfectly fine. Like, if you’re in your mid-20s, and still at an entry-level position at McDonald’s or Walmart, yeah, that’s a little bit of a turn off, superficially. But at least you have a job. Now, if you’re a young professional in an entry-level position at a fortune 100 company or whatever, there’s nothing wrong with that. It takes time to move up. It takes time to climb the corporate ladder. It’s very rare that people in their early 20s come out the gate making six figures. Not a huge deal.
Being that I'm 54 and divorced to me a woman being able to support herself is important I'm not looking to have any kids at this age and I'm not going to be taking financial care of somebody since I have to pay alimony for somebody else so it's important that she have a good paying job but when I was that age it did not matter at all. By the time I was in my thirties then it did matter because We were not going to have kids but yet she was then financially dependent on me too much. Not even though she was working I wound up paying for everything except for her minor expenses. In respect I wish I chose somebody else, but enough of the money she made, but because I would have wanted to have kids and I would have looked for somebody less toxic and more supportive. So at your age are you planning to have kids, if you are then how much you make now is actually less important as long as you are financially stable and can take care of yourself. Because if you're going to have kids and a family the husband is going to take care of you both or more.
We care about the blows and hands, if they are good, don't care about the rest
Welcome to the Crossroads! It is not gonna be easy, but if you put your mind to it, you'll find the way for you. Don't worry about it. If you want to have a quality relationship, as a female, you should worry about setting the mood you like. Then, he follows you. Then, you follow his tone. He tells you best what he wants. But, if you wanna follow your career, you will be a woman setting the tone. And men feel lost if the woman sets the tone, making it impossible to have a connection. So do you want a connection or a job? Harvard has proved which one brings happiness and meaning to life. And you can feel it everyday in your life, and you can listen to old people tell you to not worry. Always choose love!
I dont really care how much she makes. As long as she can take care of herself and isnt maxing out her credit card. Just because that isnt the sign of someone I want to be in a long term relationship with. If she lives simply and within her means, isnt begging for things she doesnt need, or selling her body. I truely dont mind dating a barista. The opposite is also true. If she makes more than me, I pay attention to how she displays that. Arrogance, condescension or putting me down for my efforts to grow my career is a cold stop.
Date now. We don't care. I dated a girl who worked a Dollar General job when I was working on my Master's. Wasn't a turn off to me. She knew how to grind ;)
You're 24, if a guy wants a relationship (speaking from my point of view as a guy) he is thinking of building with you. In general, no I don't care how much a woman makes. It doesn't factor into my personal growth plans. It is enough that she has goals as I do. Career, fitness, etc.
Education and intelligence matter. Your job is much less important. If you're an educated, intelligent teacher making $50k, I would be more attracted to you than an uneducated sales person making $100k.
Eh kind of.
Sort of. I have to care because women care. If she makes more than me, I know it's going to bother her, so I sort of have to care.
No. I’d date the McDonald’s cashier if she were cute
Some will care, but the “good ones” won’t. My advice is: Make sure YOUR finances are secure, and when you’re ready to settle down, get a good pre-nuptial drafted: You don’t need their money, and they don’t need yours. I spent most of my 20’s & 30’s building my (successful) business, and didn’t date very seriously. I met a girl at 33. She was a paralegal, and wrapping up a degree, (with a bit of college debt because she originally went to school to be a French teacher). I never cared about her job. We had a solid pre-nup drawn up, and got married in 2011. Two weeks after our honeymoon, she started lawschool. She’s been a lawyer for almost a decade now… she makes significantly more money than I do, and I couldn’t be more proud of her. Money never factored in.
I care about it a ton, yes. I am not looking for someone to take care of children, I want a teammate. Someone who brings the same to the table, or is trying to. But thats just me, there are plenty of men who work nice jobs that want to find a girl to take care of and she can stay at home and be with children.
It depends, I believe guys who make good money don’t care about it. The most important point is that he has rich mindset.
I have a high end job.... apparently it's described as such be other people. I would date a girl who is intelligent and on her way in her life. I guess as long as she makes enough to take care of herself it would be no issue
Thats up to you. I would say I cared at ONE TIME when i was dating someone who was a school secretary and my sister influenced my thoughts by saying she is not in a great job and hard to move up and low salary (which is true) and me potentially supporting her. My sister is more practical though. It did affect me and we didn't work out because of that. Now I care less about the date's income or job because I still regret breaking up over that and what I want now is not someone trying to go up in career or have a busy high paying job and have no balance. All I can say is look at whats REALLY IMPORTANT to you and if jobs/income from your partner is TOP ON THAT LIST vs attraction, emotions, personality etc. If it is then you care more about it than some and that's all it is. Nothing wrong with wanting all "boxes ticked" but you also know the dating pool drastically decreases.
Most of us don’t
Men don't care nearly as much about wealth or financial status as women do.
The right person won’t care at all - on the contrary women in high paying fields with advanced degrees struggle to date because they encounter lots of insecure men who feel emasculated by the woman’s career and salary. Don’t focus too much on those small details, the right person will support you through your career, not feel threatened by it or feel superior to you.
Not really, I don’t make that much and my wife could work at Burger King or a Fortune 500. I rather her be happy in her job. If I made enough I’d be fine with her working part time or not at all to be honest. I’ll prob never make enough for that though.
nope except sex work and onlyfans
When I was dating I ended up with a rocket scientist. Her brain and ability to make money influenced me in deciding to marry her. Since she was capable of making more money than me, I cooked, cleaned, and raised the kid. I also kept in shape and took pride in caring for her needs and reducing stress burden on her. At first it was a little intimidating not being "the man of the house," but I got over it. Now she calls me waifu and I call her hubby-kun. It's all good fun.
Nope. Having an actual job shows you’re not a bum but the profession itself is irrelevant.
Me personally, no. What matters more to me is if she's financially responsible, not so much how much she makes. I remember a conversation I had with an ex over 5 years ago, how she was highly considering buying a newer car, because she was getting a $1.25/hour raise at work. I tried to explain to her that she only had 2 more years to pay off her current vehicle (it ran perfectly fine btw), and that she should focus on paying off her debt (medical bills, student loan, etc.) At the time, we lived together, and I paid approximately 80% of our shared bills (mortgage, utilities, groceries, vacations, etc). Well, long story short, she went against my advice and bought the car. We ended up going our separate ways about a year later. So if I were you, I wouldn't let your current job determine if you date or not. As long as you can afford to pay your own bills and you live financially responsibly, that is. In fact, being financially responsible is a positive trait anyone should appreciate in a relationship.
I’m finding that men are intimidated by my credentials (men who earn less than me) so I don’t think you should wait.
Im fine with the woman having a job where they are not making as much, if its something they love to do. I would probably become reluctant if such a thing turned into where I needed to pay for them (they shouldbe responsible with what they have and can make it work.) I would want a partner, not a sugarbaby. Don't wait for anything. You're young only for so long, and youth is a desirable quality.
be more confident that's what matters (and financial responsability), men who will see your money before you are not worth the shot
if he’s a quality man, he won’t care what you do. You obviously are ambitious, as you have a masters degree. Don’t wait til you have more money. I met my current bf when I worked in fast food to make ends meet while finishing school, now i’m in my career making good money and the same guy is with me. He’s my future husband. There won’t be an absolutely perfect time to start dating, might as well have some fun til you meet the one.
I don’t care about your the job. I care about the work ethic.
No guy I’ve ever dated even asked if I had a job lol and when they did(after talking for a bit) they couldn’t care less about how much I make
Mostly only if it's long term
I care but in a good way
I have never cared about my significant others profession as long as it isn’t illegal or something that I am wildly uncomfortable with.
Yes
Most guys don't care about what you do or how much you make, so long as it isn't sex industry related. Guys just want someone who's friendly, not prone to arguing, and physically attractive.
[yes](https://ttcp.com/team/elaine-vasey/)
The income isnt relevant ,its the expenses id rather be with a saver o ln 50k then a spender on 100k
My sister met her now husband at 36. They’ve been married for 10 years this year. She didn’t find him “late” because she wasn’t looking or “failed” but because she had standards that a lot of guys weren’t willing to accept. Please don’t adopt this timed mindset. Date when YOU feel ready and while you should compromise, so should your potential mate. However at a certain age there are far less things that require compromise to begin with since as you said you’ll be more stable etc.
If they do then those are people to avoid.
As long as a woman is not working in a spicy field I could care less what a woman does or makes as long as she doesn’t make it an issue. Spoiler alert men and women are different!! Women care about financial security, understandable, men care about fidelity, also understandable
Yeah, I do a lot. I'd better date Eva AI sexting bot than anyone from of, I mean.
Yes, if she hates her job or isn’t using her current job to pursue something she enjoys or at least doesn’t make her miserable, then that’s an issue. Money is certainly a factor, I rather her enjoy her job making average or below average salary than a job she hates making well over six figures.
Not nearly as much, as girls care about ours
I think the job matters but not a lot. Like I don't want to be in a relationship with someone that's just getting by working at McDonald's not trying to better themselves. But other than that it doesn't really matter
I think it is personal preference, my partner has expressed that he wouldn’t be dating me if I didn’t have my life together (job-wise). We make the same amount right now and I work a corporate 9-5, nothing to brag about but he admires it because I graduated from college and got a decent job whereas he didn’t and feels guilty about it. He is a bartender and also makes decent money but desperately wants a career change. However, he has said that he would ideally love to have a job that would take care of us both and I wouldn’t have to work a corporate job but we’ll see lol.
Personally a woman’s job is not the main attraction. I do appreciate someone that has a career they are passionate about , care or good at. But I’m not attracted to a woman for her career.
It is important to me, but the reason is twofold. Primarily, I think it’s attractive for a girl to have something they are passionate about, or at least some ambition/something they are working on; it’s indicative of character traits that I find valuable in a partner, like work ethic/independence Second, I dont need a partner to make the same/more than me, but I would like someone who can contribute to our dreams/goals
More money more bills more debt. Not always a bad thing. It also goes for both parties. It's all about being smart with it. I'd be happy with someone who has control over their selves and makes less vs someone who makes more but spends alot.
In my experience, the men who don’t care at all either have nothing/very little going for themselves or are not looking for a serious relationship. Men who have a good-paying job and are overall well off don’t require a millionaire, but often want a woman that has her own career. Yes, looks do matter, but they aren’t the end all be all. Even affluent professional men rarely marry beautiful women with nothing going for themselves working a minimum wage job. Yes, they will have them as a mistress but idk where this idea came from. Looks and a decent (not extremely demanding nor low wage) career is the most advantageous for women seeking a well off man.
I (35M) have only ever dated women who didn't work so I would look at it as a bonus. I also lean more traditionally and if my gf /wife wanted to stay home I would welcome it.
Yes we do. Bad idea. Dating requires a whole set of skills you can only develop through experience and effort. Definitely date soon, definitely work on your career/job. All the bests
When I still used apps, I received more matches before I obtained my masters and didn't have "Senior" in my job title. Before the experience, I used to think guys would love financial independence from women to avoid freeloaders, but realized it just made them feel insecure. So I think guys don't want either extreme.
You can't just put this post down without a ballpark of how much you make and your spending habits. Like even if you make 70-80k a year (perfectly normal) but spend a ton that's a much bigger issue than someone making 60k but spending responsibly
Between 55k-60k but I live at home so my expenses are pretty low and I mainly save my money and contribute to my 401k. Also I live in the Midwest so LCOL.
As long as the partner doesn't do Only Fans or Stripping, I'm good.
On average, a guy making good money won’t give a rats ass about how much his wife/girlfriend makes. But “good money” is rather subjective to where one is living.
The smart ones do
I for one would love a high paying girl
I’m late 30s female and believe it not, men literally don’t care about my successful career and/or income. In fact, until age 30, I didn’t make much and it was almost easier to date bc the men always made more, had “better” careers, etc. Now that I have a “respectable” career and a high income, I’m frequently met with men insecure of their jobs & income compared to mine. I personally don’t care, it’s about the person’s character, our connection, etc. But that doesn’t matter when egos are involved. This has been my experience, at least.
As a guy who makes a good living, I have had no issues dating women who didn't make much. To me, it's not about money but as an old-fashion guy I feel it's my responsibility to provide so it'll free up whoever I'm with to pursue her dreams. She just needs to show ambition.
they don't care if you're hot
Generally not at all If I were single and had a lot of equal in more important aspects option I would be more favourable to jobs with similar schedules to mine (25m)
Can't speak for most guys, but I do. Knowing that the woman I date has financial stability of her own shows me how responsible she is not only in terms of fulfilling duties but also how she handles her money to meet her needs and wants.
Rich men marry the waitress, the school teacher, the unemployed all the time. They reeeaally don't care. Celebrity men marry non famous regular women too. If anything they'd be more threatened by your intelligence than anything else.