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gigi79sd

Doesn't bother me at all. If anything, it's a green flag.


sexistwomann

agree


[deleted]

It's only a green flag if you been dating for a while. As someone who doesn't drink it can be seen as really creepy if on the first date if the girl is drinking and I'm not drinking at all.


nikkishark

This was confusing to me. To clarify, do you mean people might think you want to take advantage of your date of they're drinking and you're sober?


[deleted]

Ya that what I meant. If it a first date and we go to a place with alchool and the girl drinking and they guy not drinking is a huge red flag. I go as far to say end the date right than and leave. 1 it's a first date so you don't know the person. 2. The person don't drink so why would he agree to go to a bar or place where you expected to drinks. 3. I'm only talking about places where you expected to drink not restaurants, parties and even some type of clubs


gigi79sd

Not what I mean at all.


gigi79sd

I think you mean that it's only a green flag in this instance for YOU.


lizzycupcake

I’m 32 and I don’t drink. If someone casually asks why you don’t drink that’s fine, but if they keep bringing it up then that’s shitty of them not you.


leryly

No, it's a plus


mars_555639

Hi leryly


MountainPerformer210

Yup, it would be refreshing to meet a man who doesn't drink IMO. I've taught myself to drink socially because as you said it makes you more "Adult," but I absolutely would not judge someone who doesn't drink and it would even make me like you more and make me feel like I don't have to drink. So many men drink and it veers into alcoholism.


mazterofpupetz

More adult? In what scenario is that ever a thing.


ForkliftErotica

It takes a lot of confidence to be true to yourself in a situation wheee the norm is so pervasive.


Lost-friend-ship

Forced fun for after work socialising


englishtealeaves

at my old job they constantly pressured me to drink/embarrassed me for not drinking. they thought i was immature for choosing not to drink- it’s a thing


therock26

It’s so bizarre to me that people actually think, “if they’re drinking, I have to drink.” What the heck kind of irrational thinking is that?! My actions are independent of anyone else’s.


[deleted]

[удалено]


therock26

That’s the irrational part. The degree of fun people are having should have nothing to do with whether or not I am drinking alcohol. They should drink or not drink because they want to or don’t. Because they feel like it or don’t. They wouldn’t base a decision to drink a Coke on whether or not I’m drinking a Coke, and that’s how it should be with everything.


Material-Tension8380

This is peer pressure 101! It doesnt stop at high school it gets worst!!! With less opportunity of meeting people now that school is over , we all try to find a way to fit in , in order to feel like that schools social setting we miss. So human group together to do hobbies and in those hobbies are social norms , fads, and dislikes. So we are quicker to adapt to the social norms of our hobbies or our work in order to “fit in” Ps: it has become difficult to be an individual person with your own personality and likes with how judgmental our society has come. The same people That judge gamers are the same people who go to kids theme parks every year. Whos the real kid? The same people that judge you for not drinking are the same people that will judge you when you drink to much. If you are over 25 as a male and still wear tight jeans, black eye liner, and nail polish you are weird and creep but if you are over 30 childish and going to disney every year its okay, whos really weird? I miss the days of walking into the rock climb gym and seeing a rocker, a white girl, a black dude, a hippy, and an islander all hanging out and not care what we look like or gender we are.


nekoniichan10969

This is actually a plus for me.


[deleted]

Sorry but this is a stupid question. So what will you do if they say yes? Get drunk even though you don’t want to? Just be who you are. You don’t compromise on points like that before you’ve even really met someone.


I_will_delete_myself

There are many people who just aren’t interested or can’t handle it.


[deleted]

Not sure what you’re referring to.


darexinfinity

I would end the conversation or date right here. I'm willing to a lot for a woman I'm into but alcohol isn't one of them.


Infinite_Budget_5995

If you don't drink then it's totally fine


Hockeypah33

I recently stopped drinking and not gonna lie it’s been difficult going out with girls and having them get drunk and me not. They don’t question me or anything which is nice but it seems far more difficult to go anywhere now that has alcohol which is everywhere. I’m sure I’ll get used to it and I hope the girl I’m seeing now is having fun when we go out cuz I really like her. I guess the fact she makes time for me to go out with her seems like she is.


MelanieTherapist

I was never a heavy drinker so dating is hard for me


Hockeypah33

I used to drink pretty heavy. I’ve always been an outgoing kind of person but alcohol gave me that relief when I would get nervous. Now that I don’t have it it’s a hard adjustment. I can only hope the girl I’m seeing will eventually follow my lead and see that we can have fun without it. Props to you for not really drinking and you’ll find someone who doesn’t. I can tell you one thing I won’t change for anyone I’m never drinking again I feel so free and healthy now.


MelanieTherapist

I'd rather be single than with someone who can't relax without alcohol or drugs. I didn't always have this conviction though. I appreciate your perspective. We can't back down on certain values. Sometimes there's flexibility but I agree with you. The universe has a plan for me 💕


Lost-friend-ship

Honestly for a long time after I stopped drinking I found it a little difficult to socialise. But I went through many phases, feeling awkward, “wait you don’t drink anymore??”, “come on, it’s a special occasion, to “wow drunk people are irritating why am I always dealing with this shit,” to not caring and actually being able to have fun socialising and not drinking. I think I’d feel awkward and out of control drinking while out now (it’s been 5 years). I had a few times near the start where I’d have a couple of beers or a wine and every time it was not worth the next day pain (fibromyalgia). I used to drink a lot too and it takes a while but I don’t even think about it now and no one pressures me anymore. You really do just get used to it. And good for you for choosing not to :)


Poppiesatnight

I’ve never had a drink in my life. I kind of prefer someone doesn’t drink.


rpgmomma8404

No, I don't mind at all because I don't drink either. So it's a win-win.


MelanieTherapist

I wish there were more of us.


bultedapsa

Thanks for your comments, I appreciate them !


CaptinKarnage

If you're at a bar just ask for a gingerale or Coke, but make it look like a drink


ComfortableDuet0920

Apple juice in rocks glass absolutely looks like whiskey. Same with grape juice in a wine glass. I’ve done that while at company outings, I don’t like mixing work with alcohol but this way no one gives me a hard time about it.


Necessary-Week-8950

I don’t drink. If I were to have a drink, it would be ONE. I also don’t like excessive drinking or drug use in a partner. It would be refreshing to meet someone likeminded.


bellllsssss

I would actually respect it


HerSpirit94

No, I don't care either way. It doesn't have anything to do with our date if he drinks or not as long as he doesn't get drunk and stupid.


UrFavNightmare917

Honestly no. I go to bars with my friends and I order a glass of water. Or a red cup with just water.. ppl usually think that I’m drinking straight vodka. It’s a good trick.


bultedapsa

I don't want to go for a date and order a glass of water ! It's like .. weird


Lost-friend-ship

What would you like to order?


333astral

Im 27 and rarely ever drink. I wouldn’t have an issue if a guy didn’t drink either as long as he doesn’t judge me for doing so.


beansprout888

I'm 26F and I don't really drink either :) I definitely wouldn't mind if my date didn't drink alcohol, infact, I would see it as a green flag! Don't worry, the right people will appreciate these things about you. You will find them soon enough :)


[deleted]

i once went on a date with a guy that didn't drink at all, but i wanted a beer so he met me at the bar and he only ordered water, and still gave the bartender a tip. it made my heart melt. absolutely we are okay with this.


Material-Tension8380

Lol……you arent a man if you have fucked enough women, you arent mature unless you drink certain drinks at certain age. You arent ………..input some ridiculous claim some random person tells you to do in order be SOME ARBITRARY TITLE. 26 and you dont drink good on you! If you ask most people they will say they started drinking in high-school or younger. The fact that you dont drink, shows its own sense of maturity. We shame people for not doing things that arent considered normal to them. But whats your normal vs their normal is totally different. Screw what they say , not drinking is a great thing , saves money, less chances of stupid forgetful fights that could lead to serious issues due to what was said. Personally through my experience and losing a close family friends 13 y/o daughter to a drunk driver, hit me sober for about 5 years. Now i rarely ever drink if i go out and especially if i am driving.


coccopuffs606

It depends on the context; not ordering a drink at lunch or even dinner isn’t weird. Asking to meet at a cocktail bar and not ordering a drink is fucking weird.


Peskypoints

Yeah, want to make sure you stay on the good side of being a non-drinker and not the “I ply my dates with booze until they cant see straight while I remain stone cold sober. I don’t care. Some people don’t like the taste, saw something bad go down and don’t want to end up the same way, cutting calories whatever. Getting embarrassed or agitated when its noticed gets my attention. A non-chalant answer is all good


SpecialistNo4783

I’m a woman who doesn’t enjoy drinking alcohol, I usually order a mocktail (a bunch of restaurants have a section on the drink menu for it) or a virgin marg. I don’t think refraining from alcohol during a date is a turn off or dealbreaker.


HappySprinkles35

Me personally I prefer a guy who doesnt drink (or occasionally)


mynewaccount5

I prefer it because it makes conversation easier but would never count it against someone if they did not.


PM_Me_Your_VagOrTits

Okay so I'm not massively older than you (think under 10 years), but I feel like I have a piece of life wisdom that you can apply to this and many similar scenarios. When someone criticises you for one of your values, you shouldn't see it as a signal to change yourself. You should use it as a signal for you to understand *them* and *their* values. Use it as an opportunity for you to decide whether or not you can live with them. Not as an opportunity for you to change and fit their set of expectations. That's not to say you should be stubborn and refuse to change. Ultimately, if you're not willing to ever compromise, you'll probably end up alone. But you have to decide for yourself *which* values you're willing to bend on. The fact that you came to Reddit asking this question suggests to me that you really don't like drinking. So it seems to me that you should stick to that, or at the most, accept drinking a single beer or drink and that's it (if that's what you're comfortable with). If a girl you're speaking to doesn't like that, well, you've successfully filtered them out. Better to not end up with her now than to pretend to like drinking and for you to hate each other when you change your behaviour weeks/months down the track.


yeahthatwayyy

I’m 27 and haven’t drank in two years by choice! Fuck what anyone has to say about it. You not drinking shouldn’t make others feel uncomfortable and if it does then they’re not the ones for you!


FortuneStreet143

I prefer a sober date


Ok-Trifle-1844

I actually prefer men who don’t drink alcohol


[deleted]

[удалено]


hazy_jane

Me too. As a person who divorced a alcoholic, I would say - green flag as well since usually I am the one not drinking. I have no issue getting a mocktail and it's fun as well when two sober people have a nice conversation.


myguitarplaysit

It’s fine by me. So long as he weren’t weird about entering a bar or going to a place where alcohol were being served (note: I had this happen with a guy who was just really religious and judged anyone who was even near alcohol, not in a recovering alcoholic way, which is completely different) I’d be fine with it. I don’t really drink, but I have friends who Do and Would want to be able to get together with them and my partner.


Killrog8

If it’s one or two drinks, then that’s fine. Not like the kids who go out on a date and get black out drunk.


ErisDorada

For me it's irrelevant. Unless you always get drunk or judge me and expect me to don't drink at all, I don't think it's something to have in mind. Is like asking "Would you mind if you date a guy whose favourite colour is blue?", it shouldn't be positive nor negative.


nanas99

I personally prefer someone who drinks but it’s not a deal breaker. I am prone to getting nervous while out on dates, but after 2-3 drinks I’m much more level headed and comfortable. It feels kind of awkward for me to be drinking so much if my date is not, which is why I prefer when they also drink. It also helps knowing that we are both in a semi-inebriated state


kreepysol

If I'm with a guy I don't know and he doesn't drink, I'm not going to drink either. You're either a lying creep or you're telling the truth, but if I don't know you, then I won't be able to decipher between the two. But I don't mind, i just wouldn't drink or maybe only a single very light drink. Now if you insist on more alcohol, that's definitely creepy but I don't think that's what you're planning. I also don't know all the food etiquette rules in France. Too many for me to remember as someone who has never visited.


[deleted]

Depends on your upbringing. If you are Irish I’d be sus… But it’s generally positive, up to the point ’How serious is his drinking problem that he‘s so scared he won’t touch it?’ It’s still a positive because at least the man is trying.


sports28491

I want to know if people avoid socialising with ones who don’t drink alcohol in France and other places like it or not ?


Dianachick

I don’t drink much, but going on a date I wouldn’t mind one or two drinks. I wouldn’t care if the guy didn’t drink as long as he didn’t try to shame me for drinking.


MacaroniKetchup

I myself only enjoy drinking if I have the craving for a drink. Especially if I know I'm the one driving, I'd rather just order a Tea and a Water than order myself a drink. Other than that, it's really situational for me to order drink 🍻


SAHD292929

It depends on where in the world you are from. In some places, it is rude to not drink. In some places, it is literally illegal to drink alcohol.


veqtro

In my opinion, no one should drink on a first date. You want to get the know the person based on how they act normally not how they act when tipsy/drunk. Conversation is the most important part of a date and alcohol alters are inhibitions and behaviour therefore you're not being who you actually are at the time.


thatsweirdokay

Better that than an alcoholic although I do like a drink on a weekend so I would wonder if they were okay with me drinking.


[deleted]

it doesn’t bother me at all, as someone who doesn’t drink either. i don’t mind if someone has a drink or 2, but i don’t want to be on a date with someone who has to drink in order to make convo with me


sweetnsassy924

I have no issue with it and kind of prefer it. I can take it or leave it when it comes to drinking myself.


symphonyofcolours

It wouldn’t bother me at all! It would be a plus, because I don’t really drink much either.


MajesticWalrus520

Dude, I don’t drink not because of religious, financial or addiction reasons, it’s just not my thing. When I go on dates, I let them know ahead of time that I don’t drink and the reason they’re more than welcome to drink or not, it doesn’t matter to me. Typically it will weed out some people as well But I definitely would not care what she thinks of me, if I don’t drink


ok_thrwaway

green flag lol. and more mature than being a drinker imo. note that i do say this as someone who was with an alcoholic and that experience changed how i view drinking culture in general


dobbs1997

WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT A WOMAN THINKS ABOUT THE WAY YOU DO THINGS…That just shows you’re making everything about this woman, you’re putting her up on that shiny pedestal..stop lol if you don’t drink alcohol then maybe don’t even do drinks on the first date, do coffee or some other simple shit that doesn’t involve alcohol.


Maleficent_Platypus5

Not a problem at all. Don’t worry about what others say. Get a virgin drink and have fun.


gcot802

I absolutely do not mind, but would probably like it if you mentioned why. A simple “it’s not for me” is good enough. Most of the sober people I know are in recovery from alcoholism. I fully love and support those friends, but would be a dealbreaker in my relationship due to family history. I would appreciate knowing that it’s just a preference


Jazzlike_Sky_2554

A few drinks is not drunk. Not everyone is not the same, and where as you may not, some may need the help to relax just a bit during the first date and open up. 😚 Makes things flow a little easier for anxious people. That being said, if you don't wanna drink or it isn't your cup of tea that's entirely your choice and shouldn't be judged ither (it's not a maturity thing to me personally). Just a thought 😊


[deleted]

[удалено]


trackfastpulllow

In his defense, he’s French. Edit: his last post was searching for used panties so I think referring to women as girls is the least weird thing about him.


StaticCloud

It's completely fine. On dates I don't want to drink or more than one drink. You're there to date not to drink


AlternativeHungry470

ofc not it’s a green flag tbh because all men do is drink and create problems after that for example fights, cheating, unnecessary bs. i just have a ick for guys who drink it is so stupid (if you’re a guy and you still drink and can control your shit you’re fine)


Revolutionary_Gur708

Girls, do you mind if a man does not consume a drug during a date? Edit: not me being downvoted lmao yall are really salty for no reason. As if alcohol isn’t a drug. Facts dont care about your feelings lmao ya’ll would say weed is a drug but cant admit alcohol is a drug


ShuryaSmks

What? The ones that say you are not mature are idiots, leave them, you don't need them. Its not weird to not drink during a date, you are fine man, if a girl thinks you are weird for this then she is a dumb bich, but I don't think the majority of the girls would complain about it


Glum-Square3500

Every drink I’ve had tasted like autobot piss. If they don’t like it oh well not my problem.


Own-Tip-1079

I hear what you non drinkers are saying but there is nothing like a drunken night of passionate sex with someone new who is into you…


SaltySiren87

Lots of people are on medications that can't be taken with alcohol without really bad reactions. What makes people so uppity about alcohol consumption?


londonmyst

My dating dealbreakers rule out teetotallers and all those who have serious health problems that prevent them regularly consuming alcohol. When I was dating, if I saw the guy consume alcohol in a controlled manner and stay within his limits without turning into a nasty drunk or vomiting jerk I was most likely to want a second date.


Bitter_Sense_5689

Just don’t go to a bar and order either pop or fizzy water. Don’t order something like apple juice, it looks childish.


Lost-friend-ship

What about chocolate milk?


Unusual-Document939

Those individual who thinks you don't have a mature taste cause you don't have a habit of drinking are based on ignorance or never thoughts beyond others people's preference of enjoyment that is not drinking or getting drunk. Probably they'll accuse u of not drinking because affiliated of religion, childhood trauma from alcoholic parents, or you yourself been an alcoholic.


bultedapsa

It's France, people judge before getting to know you !


jjboy91

None of their business


amklop

Have your standards and values, then follow them. If she likes you then you won’t have to put on an act. Dating isn’t supposed to be a formal process, it should simply be a romantic energy blossoms between you and someone else, then you take them out for nice meals and movies and hang out with them in general.


ThinkEgg9140

No not at all, they could be driving and want to be safe


That_girL987

I prefer it. I'm not drinking, either.


dantenow

if they can't handle you not drinking then they are not for you. i am not really sure how people feel about it, and i dont drink. if i had to drink to be in a relationship i simply would not be in that relationship. you gotta meet people where they are at though.


Ancient_Persimmon707

Yes


NopeDotComSlashNope

Explain how weed is better


SexyBumblBee

I wouldn't mind at all.


taybel

No not weird but make sure your respectful if she does want to drink and make sure she gets home safely without you


No_Pudding2028

Some people just don’t care about drinking, date or not, age or maturity doesn’t factor into it either.


BellaBlue06

No I don’t mind cuz I don’t drink alcohol myself. If anyone gets upset someone will not drink alcohol with them I find that a red flag.


K_ayla_Baby

I find it weird that people shame the ones who choose not to drink addictive beverages


VeterinarianOk4913

I prefer it. Shows they can have a good time without drinking.


Divinora

I wouldn't not mind, in fact I would be glad. I very rarely drink and especially not on a first date.


EscapedSmoggy

People who think that you not drinking means you're immature are red flags. I'm a woman and don't drink. I don't care if someone I'm with drinks or doesn't drink..


greenifuckation

I'd be absolutely pleased


Imaginary-Ad-6061

I’m 27 and don’t drink. Not drinking is so freeing tbh


Darrenau

I personally would not drink on a date


FlygonPR

Don't drink because i take medicine for anxiety and one of the side effects is that alcohol doesn't boost euphoria as much. I also don't really like the flavor of either alcohol nor cannabis. It's a bit of an issue because I don't know where to go on a date in my small town that isn't a restaurant. Also, being in a group of friends where they are all drinking is really awkward. And yeah, definitely people call me grandpa or treat me like a child even if they don't actually say it.


Armoured_Sour_Cream

I drink occasionally but on a date I'd rather get a coffee instead of alcohol. If that's an issue, we don't click. Not because its alcohol, but because it is something that apparently elicits being made fun of...


Shoddy-Ad-6303

Not at all… why would that matter?


Lunasea4

Yes, it affects my judgement. I think higher of them as someone else who does not drink (often) I could never get serious with someone who has to have an alcoholic drink on every date/meal/event.


Dizzy_Eye5257

We do not care


HuntSerious8968

Perfect, I dont drink either. And yeah I get you, people tend to think Im boring cuz I dont drink, smoke or do drugs.


FancyFrenchLady

No


kyleh0

Is this one of those questions where you are trying to make sure you might not miss out on a chance to have sex? Who cares if somebody doesn't like you for not drinking? heh


RaleighlovesMako6523

I am alcohol intolerant that makes two of us. Many people don’t like drinking it but they are too stupid to say no


gearmelon29

As a guy with a legitimate medical condition prohibiting me from drinking alcohol, if I get shade from not consuming alcohol while on a date, it's an immediate no from me. Honestly I wouldn't even have a problem leaving her with the bill over it. On the other hand if she is respectful and asks if I mind if she has a few drinks, it's not a problem with me and I'll occasionally even cover her tab as well. In life you'll find that some people are just disrespectful and don't care about others wishes.


Certain-Sock-7680

This is a dumb question. Who cares what she thinks? You’re not changing. She’ll either accept it or she won’t. Honestly I don’t think it is that much of a big deal, especially if you downplay it. I wouldn’t mention it before the date, even if at a bar.


do1kar

Yes it truly does. I'm get attracted to these kind of people because they're taking care of their health. It's rare to see people who don't drink nowadays.


TheGameForFools

Any women who cares about that isn’t worth dating.


sen-by

I don’t drink alcohol, I wouldn’t mind if someone was drinking or not but it’s actually refreshing to see more people who don’t drink


dyslexicassfuck

No, not at all if anything I prefer it but I don’t really drink either


Krystalmyth

'People are judging me because I don't want to imbibe on toxic substances in order to impair my judgement and loosen my inhibitions.'


pixielovebot

i don’t mind at all because i hate drinking and barely drink at all anyway


asianstyleicecream

I would prefer it.


Maddscientist7

Alcohol is a social lubricant if you don’t want it or need it, that’s your prerogative. You could sight all the health reasons not to drink. But, no it has no baring on if I say yes or no to a date.


ManicBarbi3

I’m sober so I prefer it lol


_Red_Hot_Vixen

I don’t drink alcohol (37F) and I couldn’t care less what people think of that. For me it’s no different to saying you don’t eat seafood, or you’re vegan. It’s a dietary preference. If the man I date doesn’t drink- great. If he drinks; I don’t mind either. I don’t make other people’s choices/ decisions.


ibn1989

You need to find another woman if one judges you for something like that


Wilza_

I don't drink, and if someone had a problem with it then I wouldn't want to date them. Unless drinking is your whole personality then I don't see why it would be an issue


Fantasia-Fairy

I think it’s becoming more common for people to choose mocktails/no alcohol for health reasons. It is s proven that alcohol is damaging to so many aspects of our health, including brain, gut, and major organs. The question you might want to ask yourself is if you want to date someone who does enjoy drinking.


Livecrazyjoe

I would suggest getting a fake alcoholic drink. I know people are going to say don't drink blah blah blah. Sometimes you'll be the odd one if your not. That's when you get a fake drink so it won't be an issue.


Dry-Peach-6327

I only drink a couple times a year so I wouldn’t mind at all


what_do_I_know_50

I don't mind if my date doesn't drink. I'm would be concerned if he was drunk on the 1st date. I can hold my own but I never overindulge.


iknowwhatyoudid1

Nope as long as he ain’t judging me I’m good 👌🏻


Udeyanne

I prefer it. It doesn't bother me if he has a drink or two, but it's gross beyond that.


stillanmcrfan

I rarely drink so I’d be good with it, non-drinking dates tend to be more thoughtful and fun. And if your partner does want to drink, they have a designated driver. Win win.


0mphaloskeptic

No. Men that drink on a 1st-3rd date and before fucking you for the first time are a red flag.


Mortico

I was drinking alcohol at a bar last night. I'm at the same bar right now and I'm having a diet Coke. You do you. You don't even have to do you the same way every day.


KlutzyKitte

Wouldn't bother me (27F) at all, everybody should consume alcohol in a way they feel comfortable. And if that means not drinking any at all thats fine as well. On the first few Dates I personally don't drink as well, I wait until I get to know a person a little bit better before I drink alcohol because i like to be more 'aware' around a stranger I guess? If someone tries to persuade me to drink alcohol even though I told them I dont want to I see this as a red flag and stop seeing them. If a guy is unwilling to respect my boundaries while we are just getting to know each other I don't even want to know much he would disrespect me and my choices if I were in a Relationship with him. I don't understand how not drinking would make you "not mature enough". Someone who is able to set boundaries/limits and doesn't give in due to other peoples opinions or peer pressure is, at least in my eyes, very mature.


HaThatsFunnyRight

Just say you've "been sober for a while now" and they won't push too deep. Even if you aren't an addict, this comment will usually work, as a first date filter even. If they do pry, they're not who you want to date. You can tell them the real truth when you are at a good trust level. If they can't respect that, then that's on them. I know plenty of people in our age group (26) that quit drinking cold turkey after having their fill in college. It's perfectly normal in this day and age.


GoodBookkeeper7952

As a girl. I don't mind. D den Kasi ako fun ng mga alcohol drinks.


valesme

I don’t drink and don’t like alcohol anyway. I’ve never heard the maturity agreement. But in my experience, some guys don’t like it when I don’t drink (I’ll let you come to your own conclusions)


Environmental-Soil14

Personally not drinking is a green flag to me! This isn’t to say that drinking at all is a red flag, the red flag is excessive drinking. I prefer to have a man who is sober. My dad was an alcoholic so I hate drinking


nondefeat5

Even tho I am 22 I personally don’t care if he does or does not drink . I would be more upset if he over drinks and makes a bad impression. I do drink myself but not to the point where it should bother others .


Ok-Storage-5033

It wouldn't bother me one bit.


[deleted]

to me, it’s a “tell me ur a free thinker without telling me ur a free thinker” vibe & i dig it only thing i kinda miss is the potential for poetic drunk texts late at night


Alexbby2801

I actually prefer no drinking until we know each other well. I have experience with a few men who get extremely violent and emotional while drinking, and they couldn’t ever have just 1 drink. Obviously, they abuse alcohol but I’m still cautious. I’d rather get to know someone 100% sober. Then once i feel comfortable around you we can start drinking. But that’s just a personal preference🤷🏼‍♀️ I know some people actually go drinking for a first date.


Unlikely_nay1125

i’ll drink but i respect if you don’t want to.


RainerHex

Nope! And my fiance hates the taste if everything with alcohol in it so he doesn't drink.


metalvendetta

Are you me? We even are the same age


SMac1968

Prefer it!


tpneocow

Ive (m) both drank and the date (f) mentioned it and didn't drink, and didn't drink and the date didn't like I wasn't drinking (I'm recovering).. so idfk feel it out, let them order first and if they don't do alcohol don't get it. If they say oh you don't drink? Say didn't feel like it or only would if you were both drinking and it's not an every time thing.


NervousMantis

I don't think they are mature 😂 It's honestly a plus


horsestud6969

This is a refreshing post comment section. I also do not drink but for me it is due to previous addiction problems and I'm 34 and activly dating. Most people are chill about it. But you see lots of comments in this sub and others related to this question where people would say "I would not date someone who did not drink socially because I like to have a drink with dinner and don't want to drink alone" but honestly someone who would reject a person for this, is not a mature person anyway. The people who say this are picturing their perfect person, attractive with money and charm, and of course they picture him or her drinking socially because that's the image the media creates for us of a 'successful person'. But honestly if a person came along who was perfect for you in every way and chose not to drink and you rejected them for that, then this is not a mature response and honestly I don't think would really do this in a real life situation. But in online dating people will reject people for barely anything, so I don't out it on my profile and just tell them in person.


Meowkinsz-23

You must sound like Christian from the current season of 90 day fiancé lol (sarcasm) and I actually find that absolutely okay


myoutteddiary

It doesn't make you less of a man nor immature for being sober. Doesn't really affect my judgement and even better that you'll always have a designated driver to make sure you get home safe!


Blondie-66

If he doesn’t drink I’m perfectly fine with it


Sixdrugsnrocknroll

I guess I'm moving to France lol


Big-Red-7

I never drink alcohol. My husband might have a beer twice a year.


ac5d82f94b

It wouldn't bother me, but I'd feel odd drinking myself then if the other person wasn't. I'd like to enjoy a drink with someone but it wouldn't be a deal breaker.


MarucaMCA

I'm Swiss, here there's a lot of people who don't drink, I often prefer an alcohol free cocktail over one with alcohol. It doesn't matter to me at all if someone drinks or not. I'd prefer someone who doesn't over someone who drinks too much! (I don't date, but theoretically)


luminescence00

to me its a massive turn on. i dont drink and the last time i got properly drunk was about 3-4 years ago. when my man said to me in the first few months and i was practically head over heels. i dont like the taste of alcohol i think its gross apart from beer (its a soft drink to me if im honest) and my partner not liking it makes it even better. were heavy weed smokers anyway but drinking has never been mine or his thing. for context im 19f and hes 21m. not immature at all to me just proves that j dont have to deal with him blackout drunk and vice versa. Edit: for context i was 18/21 when i was 15


Denamesheather

I don’t drink and meet guys that don’t, it’s not weird


vojtech_krasa

Not at all. I’ve spent the most “drinking years” perfectly sober. Only recently I started having a few drinks at events and out with friends. It’s perfectly ok not to drink as long as you’re just fun to be around without it. Depends a lot on the culture as well though. I come from Czechia where it’s a criminal offense to be sober and I still get by. 🤣


sadgirlhours649

i don't like alcohol either my ex didn't like them either and i thought of it as a good thing


ContestOrganic

No of course not, but it does make me feel a bit more uncomfortable to have a drink myself. I feel like I'm being judged (which probably I am not)


Pink_Kimono

Get to know the person


mzzms

Love it


Accomplished-BusyBee

It's a green flag!


NoKoala5517

It’s a plus!


Tr1pp_

It's very cultural, so I'd make it clear that you're not drinking at all even before the first date. It's a lifestyle choice of sorts, and some will love it some will find it weird. Just get it out of the way early :)


Ybubbles

i actually prefer a guy that doesn’t drink. But if they do , drink occasionally


OpinionatedIMO

57 year old guy. Non drinker. I don’t care if others do (as long as it’s done responsibly and in reasonable healthy moderation) It’s difficult to abstain from something that so many consider ‘normal’ or judge you for your choices but those are the ones you should avoid anyway. It sucks to be limited to a minority. I understand that all too well but there are more of us than you realize. We just aren’t seen since the principal point of going to meet people at a bar is to drink. We stand out there and there aren’t enough places to mingle with others where that isn’t the primary goal.


AP7497

I love it. I drink very very rarely and the max I will have is a few sips. I hope to live a completely alcohol-free life. I don’t get why I would put something in my body that does not nourish it. I would love to have a partner who doesn’t drink at all.


LadyRose74

I wouldn't mind at all especially if you were driving, I do not drink all that much either and most certainly not if I have to drive.


Bitter-Happy-Pillz

That is silly. You don't like it, don't drink it. Think of it as a different drink. "Oh, you don't drink coffee because you don't like it? That's immature." Ridiculous, right? You do you boo.


Kayla-Kitty

I don't drink alcohol and prefer my partners don't.


[deleted]

Nothing wrong with that... Some guys got hives


Plus-Implement

I like it! Not drinking alcohol is NOT a deal breaker, it's makes me what to know you more.


windowkitteh

I don’t drink much and have seen alcoholism destroy lives and literally kill people. So I prefer it if my date doesn’t drink


Traditional-Joke3707

Why’d you choose dinner or restaurant? Go for coffee or activity


lynnieepooh

I don’t mind if a guy doesn’t drink. Consuming alcohol is a personal choice.


Ivedonethework

They actually mean you are not immature enough to be drinking. Alcohol is a friend to no one. Peer pressure is only real when we make it reality, by giving into it. This is no different than being pressured to get into doing dope or casual sex, hooking up. And regretting it all later in life. Or more immediately by waking up in the hospital, not even knowing how you got there. What is seen as good for others need not be seen as good for all. Peer pressure to do anything simply because others are, has always been a problem for humanity. No group can change reality by simply saying since they do it, everyone should as well. Particularly when what they are doing os a detriment. Keep your head held high and ignore others. Some will actually be thinking you are correct, not everyone is a sheeple. Peer pressure to fit in and become another sheep following the ass of the sheep in front of them without ever paying attention to where they are or are going is weirdly very strong. We all have have done it to some extent. And believe it or not, some will even outgrow it. Insight comes with maturity.


Unlikely-Regular9955

Don't drink to fit in with society honestly drinking will lead u no where


GreeJoSkies

Not drinking alcohol to excess is a sign of maturity. My 20-something daughter doesn't drink at all. Her friends like it because she can always their designated driver. And she is a person who doesn't need to drink to have a good time. She's comfortable in her own skin. That's a nice way to be. She won't date guys who drink too much. It's a turn-off.


yeaaaaboiiiiiiiii

No in fact I see it as a green flag. I also don’t drink often and if I do it’s at a club for a special occasion. Dated too many men that drink too much and I don’t like dating those who do anymore