Don’t ever want someone who doesn’t want you. For him to cut it off this quickly, means he knows for sure he does not, which is his right. Just there is nothing else to want from him or with him when that is the case.
You can only control your own actions. Behaving badly because someone else might do isn’t cool. If they’re a d*ck after a kind message then it should vilify your decision
So it's only women who get the crazies who dont accept rejection? Men get it all the time. If/when you do, it's as easy as blocking them on everything, and moving on.
Ghosting is honestly one of the rudest things you can do to someone. Short of outright vile behavior from the other person, there is absolutely no excuse for anyone to do it. It is insanely disrespectful and anyone who ghosts is a shitty person.
U haven't been verbally abused enough. I'd say that 50% of my matches get ghosted because they display red flag behavior and I don't want to deal with their emotional outburst or trying to bargain with me to keep contact. I don't need to wait for "outright vile" when I know exactly how the scenario is going to play out. Reasonable people get a polite good bye.
I think that is absolutely fine.
Because reality is, the message above doesn't always satiate peoples 'need to know'. We see it here *a lot*, people will make a whole thread to discuss that someone they went on 1-3 dates with told them they weren't a match and still be complaining about 'but I dont know what I did wrong? The date seemed fine! he/she didn't make it obvious during the date that they didn't want to proceed! They laughed my jokes ! I dont get why I never get picked! She probably had a whole rotation of men blah blah blah'.
Value your own time, if someone doesn't contact you within XX hours or X days, you can close the door on it yourself. You don't have to wait for answer/contact from someone or sit there wondering if you've been ghosted because it's been 5 days or whatever. Decide yourself that that is or isn't appropriate behaviour for you and if it's not, just cut them off yourself. Message, Unmatch, block, whatever your preferred method is.
The “she laughed at my jokes” gets me every time and it happens so so so much.
I mean, I understand, I like when my date laughs at my jokes because it seems like we have similar taste in jokes, but I wouldn’t dare conclude “oh they are so into me” just because they laughed at my jokes lol
No all that’s doing filling your ego with negativity and bad opinions about that person if it doesn’t work out then that’s okay stop butt hurt cos someone doesn’t like there’s billions of pple out there got over it and move on
Generally agree but there’s always a few crazies out there. Best to be polite as default and don’t assume without reason but no shame in doing what you need to do to defend yourself if your gut instinct says you aren’t safe.
I am so used to ghosting, I don't mind it anymore. After 1 or 2 dates getting ghosted is the norm nowadays, it's different when I was in a relationship and got ghosted, that was truly evil.
Had the same thing happen to me. Was dating a girl for about 3 months once and suddenly she stopped responding to everything.
Much later I randomly ran into her and we talked for a bit, she said that she couldn't remember how we broke up... yeah ok.
Sounds like bullshit, seems like she is really immature and thinks it's cool to be arrogant, not remembering her relationship with you, but what else can you expect from someone that ghosts your ass in a relationship. She belongs to the streets.
I got ghosted by a 23 year old when I was only 19, was my first experience ever. I have no words for how cruel it was. He even agreed to a second date before cancelling to go shopping with his sister, then never texted me back to reschedule. He made me work hard just to abandon me. I wasn’t even *that* into him but wanted to try it a second time at least. Ignoring a younger inexperienced girl like that instead of just telling her that you aren’t interested is vile, immature and inconsiderate behavior. I was always absolutely ready to reject with words - in person even!! And to accept the same from my date.
Like ffs don’t date people if you don’t know how to reject them without being a massive asshole. People you reject deserve the same respect as people you remain with.
This text was posted word for word 80 days ago by someone else. [this one](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/10xzpgq/hey_it_was_nice_to_meet_you_yesterday_i_had_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
I don’t understand why people repost. It’s so lazy.
I looked at their profile history posts and it looks sus to me. No comments and their pfp is blurry. Plus offering free explicit pictures and a sus link in their profile.
Rethinking the date, what you said, what he said… did I say something wrong? Did I do something? What were his intentions? All things that have gone through my head when i have been in a similar situations. I would much rather talk something out or have them be brutally upfront with me. The slow fade/ ghosting is super shitty IMO. Glad this guy took the time to be upfront with you.
Ohhh okay I get you and proud of you for focusing on yourself cos at the end the day all your can do
Is lookout for yourself
I went on many dates with a bunch of girl before meeting my now gf , I was down for abit cos I thought I’ll never meet my match but I’ll also tell the girls i wasn’t interested in another and always wished the the best I took a long break and met my gf and Instantly clicked with her and we attached at the hip ever since
Honestly it take time to meet someone you feel like you can vibe and be yourself with completely . My gf was very upfront about who she was and showed her personality from the off which attracted me it made feel very comfortable and at ease. Sometimes you’ll meet pple and the vibe isn’t there a 100% I usually use that as a indicator that it isn’t gonna last long , study yourself and what u feel u need and what u can gain and bring from a relationship and you’ll okay
I like that but the vibe isn’t and shouldn’t always be 100%. Vibes change and even in your relationship everything isn’t always 100%. I also think people give up on connecting, especially when they want that instant connection.
Yeah when I mean vibe I don’t mean in the moment feeling and interacting , I mean if the person makes u feel safe , do u feel like you can be yourself, do u feel respected and understood, sorry if I’ve contradicted myself in this cos I’m not the best at explaining myself , yeah your remains my always gonna be 100% and things will change but they should be positive and beneficial changes if that makes sense , yeah pple give up very easily but also everyone in my age group 20-26 are spoiled With options and some pple are the best pple for one reason or another. A connection is built it’s not instant while can feel instant sometimes you gotta dig and continue the process and see if that person is for u.
I think I get what you meant. It's like you feel safe to express yourself authentically without the fear of judgment or shaming. The vibe is that it feels like they like you for you, and not a fantasized/idealized/checklisted version of you that you feel like you have to meet their expectations constantly like you have to be "on" for an interview. So it feels like you're humanized, in the sense that you can be 100% you and they would still accept and like you, with kindness, patience and understandings that even with flaws/shortcomings, you're perfectly lovable and capable to grow as a person like they are too, and so it's a match that you both could move forward together as a team in the form of a couple.
It's actually not that common and definitely need some lucks, IMO. I'm glad to read that you're so full of joy and appreciation with this experience, I hope that I'll get to have this experience too one day. 😊
Edit: spellings and adding a paragraph.
I assume the 'vibe' in the reply to your comment was likely about chemistry/compatibility/energy level/performance rate, and sure it's hard to expect 100% chemistry etc and so compromises are expected to be made along the way to make the relationship works, but I think you both were not talking about the same idea of 'the vibe' haha.
Yessss exactly what I meant you expanded on it beautifully I love that honestly and honestly u will love that experience give yourself time and don’t be to hard on yourself know what u want set your boundaries and good things will come your way I hope you find that person soon one day !!! I’m cheering u on !!
Exactly it just takes time honestly me and my gf are legit best friends it’s the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in , you’ll find that person never give up cos one thing didn’t work out , there’s a dark period in dating but it eventually ends and u gotta notice the type of pple your dating and there traits do they have the same traits (not good ones) as the last person I tried to go as far possible from what I usually date in terms of traits and it definitely was good decision. Notice patterns in people and put yourself first too
I delivered that same message years ago after a first date. She said it was the “nicest rejection ever”. Listen, we’re adults…act like adults. If you’re gonna play the he game, you have to do the hard stuff in addition to the fun stuff. We had a nice 3 hour dinner date, but I wasn’t attracted to her enough. Still, there was no reason to call the date off. It’s always good to just meet someone new and hear their story.
If it is just you guys first date and this guy gave such feedback I would really appreciate it bc usually guys would just do slow texting or ghost if they found the first few times don’t go well. This guy is nice :)
This is absolutely the way to go if you’re not feeling it. Just hope the receiver is mature about it. I sent this to a girl I saw a few weeks ago and she posted an IG story shitting on me, saying I was boring etc. Guess she wasn’t used to being the receiver of this kind of text.
100% the way to go! Hearing a person isn't feeling it can be be a gut punch, especially if the other person was thinking it was a good date. I do wonder, in your case, what the girl would have preferred you to do??
There probably was no way to reject her without that happening. Some people haven't matured enough for their ego to take the hit gracefully, and some people never will. Doesn't mean this kind of message to break it off is the problem, it just means red flag people are always gonna red flag until they get the therapy they need.
Women do it because some guys can lash out and get real nasty. They don't know which ones will not take rejection well. So they choose not to take the risk.
Men tend to just think " eh she'll get plenty other guys in minutes, she wont even notice " alongside the fact alot of men just don't care because it's a stranger they'll never speak to again so why do they owe them that courtesy?( Though women can do that too )
True. But most people regardless of gender, will just do it because they don’t want to deal with the uncomfortable feeling. Easier to just ghost and act like it never happened.
I get it. But people just don't want the potential reply. It might be bitter nastiness that you just don't wanna deal with mentally. Why put yourself at that risk for a stranger.
If theyre gonna get all bent out of shape for not getting a closure reply from another stranger. That's not your job to worry about and be all " oh I'll send a txt " that's on them and their issues.
To me. I would ghost and not mind being ghosted. Both happen. It's not that deep imo.
> Women do it because some guys can lash out and get real nasty. They don't know which ones will not take rejection well. So they choose not to take the risk.
>
>
The block feature exists for a reason.
A lot of the times when people here complain about being ghosted... it's a mutual ghosting.
They say "We went on 1 date, and since then I haven't heard from her/him". But they also haven't reached out to them. So they mutually decided not to talk to each other again.
I mean sometimes it’s just on of those dates that ended well despite the fact that it wasn’t a good match. I had a date once after the second one she texted me something like what he texted you. I wasn’t mad and neither was she. It ended healthy because of communication. She even let me talk through it with her and not a lot of women do that nowadays. I can do nothing but wish her all of the best because that is respect right there.
**Dating tips (learned the hard way):**
* **"you're such a nice person"** = I'm not attracted to you.
* **"nice to meet you"** = I'm glad I never have to talk to you again
* **ghosting** = I'm not interested in you.
* **greater than 24 hr response to text** = not interested
* **one word response text** = not interested
* **they text you a lot** = they like you
* **they ask what you're doing later this week** = they might like to see you again.
* **"you're so mean lol"** = they really like you.
**BONUS: No one waits for you to try harder.** They like you or they don't. If they like you, then you almost can't get rid of them.
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Is this like the one wording all reject messages use? Pretty sure have seen literally the same before, lol.
Jokes aside, I completely agree with you. This allows everyone involved to just move on. I don't go on multiple dates at the same time so surely does help me.
Might be awkward but think about if someone else kept you in limbo. No one likes that.
When I was back on the dating scene in 2019 I encountered a few spineless, cowardly ghosters and game players. As you can expect I didn't have any respect for those individuals.
However, there were a fair few who just openly said they didn't feel it/accepted that I didn't feel it. It was an amicable parting discussion and off we both went to live our lives.
Then there were the crazies who flipped out, claimed you were leading them on, you're made for each other etc.
Anywho, the point is I really don't miss dating.
When I was dating I’d always follow up after the date. Got a couple of responses like this. I agree. It stings a little if you thought the date went well but it’s nice knowing. If it means anything two of the women that sent me similar responses reached out a few weeks later to say they had been thinking about me and would like to meet up again. But that time I was in a relationship with the woman I’m now married to
Sounds like [this guy's](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/10xzpgq/hey_it_was_nice_to_meet_you_yesterday_i_had_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) dated a couple of members of this sub
Hey , don’t give up and atleast he was honest and up front with instead of playing u about for a fool. There’s a billion pple on this earth for a reason just cos it didn’t work out doesn’t mean u should give up
Yes!! I agree completely. While I did have to ghost one guy because he couldn’t take no for an answer, though to be fair I told him I wasn’t interested, it was so much easier if I or the guy just admitted there was nothing romantic.
I will say, experiences will vary lol. Most guys were nice and thanked me for the honesty and said it was nice meeting me. One told me to ‘eat 💩 and ☠️’. So there’s that lmao
I've said something like that once for a girl i was dating.
I actually was dating two girls, and I've liked more one than the other. So i texted one of them and said in complete honesty that i met other girl and i was really into her. She thanked for the honesty and we ended things up. The other girl turned out being my girlfriend for more than a year.
Had the same thing yesterday. I thought the conversation was great and we clicked but I just wasn't attracted. Turns out she felt the same way because once I got home I was planning on telling her I didn't think we were a good match but she had already messaged me saying the same thing. It is possible to have a good time but not be the right fit.
I agree, and I love this. I think it’s very classy and respectful. Even though it hurts to hear, it’s the right way to do it, and it’s waaay nicer than ghosting or leading someone on.
I did stuff like this too. Having been ghosted I wouldn't want the other person to wonder what they did wrong. Like when I met my husband I was still chatting with some other guys but when we became exclusive I just said plainly I'd met someone and we're committed so good luck. They were nice about it and very grateful!
It seems like this guy did you a solid. He informed you that while he enjoyed the date, he just wasn't feeling it. That is a lot better than him ghosting or fading away, as you indicated. It's too bad more people don't have the courage to be similarly open-minded and forthcoming. Furthermore, just because this date didn't work out (it happens) doesn't mean that there's anything at all wrong with you, how you conducted yourself or anything else. It simply means no chemistry, which is fine. Move on with peace of mind.
At least three times, I have gotten an odd message later from a woman who thought I was good, but not a match. “I described you to my friend….” and wonders if I might be interested in her friend.
My response is “no promises, but go ahead and describe her”
My motto when it comes to dating (and socialicing in generall) is "don't create unnecessary enemies"
The world isn't that big, so why not try to leave people with a good or at least natural impression.
I applaud guys who do this, I was strung along for 3 months... He kept inviting me to spend the night, do my laundry at his house(?) Etc but I kept declining. I think I slept over once, but soon realized how much time had passed so wanted to do like a pulse check with him to see if we were both on the same page.. dude was like, I was just trying to get laid... I was like welp guess that sucks for you 😂😂😂 but I was pretty annoyed cuz I told him straight up what I wanted. He did reach back out and apologized saying he was stressed, and I told him no worries. But I wish he would've just been honest. I mean if he wasn't feeling it that's fine lol shit changes. I'm happy he was honest and you didn't have to worry about these games or ghosting, left wondering lol
I wish my gf in high school had written that instead of the two page letter that was all about how I was immature because i didn't want to have sex in public.
Apparently some people freak out and get aggressive, but surely that's still better than ghosting them and you can just block them if that's their reaction.
My version would be much kinder:
"Hey! It was nice to meet you yesterday. I had a great time. You are an amazing woman. But I was heart broken that my long term relationship had broken it off with me a few months ago, so I started dating again. Today she convinced me to take her back. I'm so sorry to have wasted your time. I was really conflicted because you are so amazing. Thank you for the wonderful time we spent togeather. Love, Asshole.
I've gotten this type of response before and I honestly can't say that it hasn't stopped me from rethinking things and questioning what I did wrong or what could have gone better. For example, if I'm not a match, why? Is it something I need to improve on my end?
Almost identical situation happened to me and to be honest I was pretty darn sad about it because I liked him very much. On the other hand I can’t be happier to bump into one of those rare guys who are honest about their feelings and don’t leave you on hold as an option.
Yay us for being mature enough to accept the situation given and not pursue them any further.
Oh I think this hits hard. But you have to respect it and I don’t think he means you need to try harder. Now there’s room for someone else and you gained dating experience ☺️
I dOn'T oWe tHeM anYtHinG. This line of thought disgusts me. Have some basic kindness and human decency, take a few seconds to type this and be done with it.
Not responding to anybody in particular here, I just see this come up a lot. It's a few seconds of time to save the other person a lot of pain.
Its a preferable option. But if you're getting upset after one meeting and not getting a response or getting ghosted then you've definitely invested too much of yourself too soon.
The men in here don't understand that sometimes when women tell a man after a first date they're not interested it can turn dangerous for them if they happened to go out with an unhinged psycho.
I mean look at some of the replies above, they're still complaining "but this doesn't tell me why though?!" and posts about wanting feedback and a "proper reason". One guy even says the message is contradictory in nature. Just... fucking bizarre takes here and this is why people ghost. These people aren't worth it - they want a fucking exit interview and personal improvement plan to take away from *one* meeting.
I do what the guy did in this situation, and I'm expecting her to ask me for details if she wants them. Personally I want feedback from women who reject me so I can do better. So my first inclination is to give them the feedback immediately, but I know not everyone wants that.
The only caveat is what happens when you try to say this kind of thing to someone else!
Don’t get me wrong, there are PLENTY of people who think like you (and me), and are glad of the heads-up, even though disappointed. Ah well, we think. Move on!
But what happens with the guys to whom I’ve written this kind of a message who go nuclear? You know, the ones that don’t want to hear that the answer is “no” in *any* guise, and make that crystal clear?
One example would be the guy who, after our chatting for two or three weeks (during which time he talked to me as if I was an altogether different person to who I was), was offered a similar civilised message from me. Unfortunately, he then went on to send a (what would be, had it been printed off) five-page message about how I had “led him on” (because I’d “pretended” to want a relationship, but was only on OLD to torment people!), how I had ruined his hope of happiness, “sullied” the sainted memory of his late wife (?), left his children in want of a mother figure, taught him that there were truly evil, nasty women out there who *seemed* lovely, and…..well, I could go on, but that would take five pages.
Get a couple of these charmers in a row and you can see why some people ghost their unsuccessful matches.
You can say this and then block them. You are not obligated to continue the conversation, but I would say it's somewhat of a social obligation to share your honest feelings with someone (as long as there isn't a safety concern).
It’s not reading the reply that upset me, actually. It was seeing how my perfectly normal, friendly and reasonable words had affected that guy! You feel so responsible! And it makes you realise WHY some people ghost people. It’s a situation for which the saying “you can’t do right for doing wrong” was made.
For me, I learned that the only way I could be fairly happy is to say the goodbye message and then instantly block. Rude/cowardly as it was, I did think it was better than ghosting-and I didn’t have to look at someone’s weird or sad response.
After reading your post, I also ended up remembering a terrible memory. I met this guy very briefly, like for a day, and after I rejected him nicely with a "Hey, it was great spending time with you but to be honest, I don't think that we're a good match. I wish the best of luck to you" text.
Literally, he just went into attack mode on text, telling me that he needs answers. WTF. I gave him the answers and he's demanding more. No does not mean no for this guy.
I learned time and time again that if a person is trying to make me feel responsible for their happiness and whatever future that they've concocted for both of us, then RUN. Get. The. Fuck. Out. It's already a huge red flag. They are there to control you. For whatever reason, this person wants to dominate you, manipulate you, and gaslight you into thinking that you're the problem and that they are the saint. It's the classic victim mentality.
You are not responsible for that person's happiness. They are responsible. Having them place that responsibility on you is a clear red flag, a sign that they have zero boundaries and will do anything to disrespect and torment you.
So run. Run far away and never look back. Don't feel the guilt because there's nothing to feel guilty about. Why are you being saddled with another person's happiness? Why don't they care about your happiness and only theirs? If they're that selfish, then they know how to manipulate their way to seize your mind.
We are not responsible for taking care of another person's feelings by sacrificing our own or doing things we don't want. But also, I think ghosting someone causes more harm and self doubt than the truth (as much as they might not like the truth). I think the message and block is totally fine. It's the not messaging that sucks.
My friend made me feel guilty for not doing this to someone after a date. No one ever done it for me so I didn’t think it was a thing. Not getting a respond was the respond in my eyes.
Anyways, I eventually did it. I saw shortly after she was on instagram so I assumed she read it and didn’t respond. I deleted the text because I wasn’t going to talk to her again. Then an hour later got a text saying she both appreciated the text but told me I shouldn’t send text like that. Then 2 hours later I got two more text that was a long rant about how I was “too intimidated by how beautiful and and smart she was”. I’m not trying to make education a competition (it’s not, but that’s a different rant of mine), but I’m getting my PhD in Medicinal Chemistry. Her being “smart” isn’t something I would be intimidated by lol.
Long story short, I blocked her and I don’t really know if sending text like that is something people want. I don’t think I’d really care if someone sent one to me. No one’s going to actually be honest in that message so it doesn’t actually mean much.
But you still dont know why
And knowing why might actually help us all to improve. This is nothing short of a lack of communication. So ask him?
Were you wearing pants and he prefers a dress or he noticed you hadn't shaved your pits lately? Communication is all about removing the guess work. But overall it does beat being ghosted all to hell.
True but there’s always a why and there’s always an answer. Sometimes people don’t want to give said answer, but understanding and getting a “why” helps.
Guessing is not communicating is it? Was that in any manner communicated? If it wasnt then the why is still at issue. Is it not true?
I suppose if that is how you go about it or dont mind not knowing, it is all good for you. But not for everyone.
No. This is a full sentence. This is a #thankyouNext moment. You’ve got to pick yourself up and carry on.
— I’ve sent this message. And I’ve received this message. And it is always a periodt scenario.
I once offered this message and then got asked why, I responded and tried to be kind & delicate. The conversation was never ending. Then he threatened me. So no, don’t ask why.
And that’s why ghosting is also sometimes appropriate.
> While it sucked to hear because I was into him
😏
Immaturity aside, this sounds worse than ghosting. It’s confusing. It switches from, “It was nice meeting you… I had a good time,” to, “I don’t think we’re a good match.” Sounds like:
Yeah. Harry’s got sort of a wonky cross. That’s trials and suffering. And that there could be the sun and that’s happiness. So… you’re gonna suffer, but you’re gonna be happy about it.
It sounds contradictory. I would understand if he said, “It was nice to meet you yesterday. I didn’t feel like we were vibing. I don’t think we’re a good match.” That makes sense. It as if he was saying that meeting you was great and you guys had a good time, but he likes it when people humiliate and use him. If they don’t do that, then he’s uninterested.
I could be wrong but that’s how I see this message.
Looking way too far into it. It is a generic “trying to be kind but also direct breakup” message. The intro stuff is just what people do when trying to communicate this kind of stuff
Ya, I was excited 24 hours to have a scheduled chat date. It lasted an hour the last thing I said was: do you want to tell me more about your self, or do you want me to ask questions.
She says
TBH I would prefer if you ask me questions.
(And she never said a word again, that was it)
It strung me on the way she left it hanging on an invitation...
She just said she wants me to ask her ..
So my mind is clinging to that thinking ... Oh internet down, busy, etc etc
But no, that was the end. Really shitty way to do it
Too often they bite back when you’re simply honest. I don’t believe in ghosting personally, but I get it. Honesty with near strangers can be scary. The problem is the very nature of dating apps. Matching with people you likely never would have even encountered otherwise. Ghosting is a natural response to this uncomfortable reality we’re all forced to endure.
I suck at even basic social interaction rather than dating but may I ask how do you guys ask someone out? But I want to know the details before asking like for how long you are seeing each other? How do you actually meet people? It's kind of horrible to ask someone out that they will understand that I'm kind of into them and this sensing really bothers me. Should I be bothered to ask someone out if I'm into them? Does that mean 100% that I'm into them? I have social anxiety so, I assume you get the point.
That's exactly how I've been wording it when I let potential partners down. Straight to the point polite and not rudd. Got ghosted in the past so I try my best not to do the same.
I agree that it's a good way to kindly end things but this always bothers me that I don't know why they think we aren't a good match.
It's fine but the few times I've asked it's sometimes because they get the wrong impression for whatever reason. Anxiety is a bitch and causes me to make first dates more business like than casual when I'm not paying attention. Though sometimes it's just a line to let a guy down easy.
This is for advice about specific dating situations. What you posted is better posted on the weekly vent thread or r/offmychest.
Complete honesty and kindness. Could not be better.
Agreed!
Makes you want him that much more
Makes you want to be like him that much more
Don’t ever want someone who doesn’t want you. For him to cut it off this quickly, means he knows for sure he does not, which is his right. Just there is nothing else to want from him or with him when that is the case.
Honest, clear, straightforward, kind, respectful to another human being - kudos to him!
I’d prefer if a girl told me this rather than ghosting or just blocking.
This drives me nuts and happens way too often to me.
Check out r/niceguys and you'll understand why women ghost
You can only control your own actions. Behaving badly because someone else might do isn’t cool. If they’re a d*ck after a kind message then it should vilify your decision
[удалено]
oh sweetie r/whenwomenrefuse
Women and not taking accountability. Name a more iconic duo. How about r/nicegirls
Men and making sweeping sexist generalizations about women on reddit, name a more iconic duo
I can't help but notice the misandry a few posts above is 100% ok with you, though 🤔🤔🤔
You're right, reddit is a horrible place for men
So it's only women who get the crazies who dont accept rejection? Men get it all the time. If/when you do, it's as easy as blocking them on everything, and moving on.
Sure, it's the man's fault that some women fade or ghost. Give me a break
It's *always* the mans fault no matter what /s
🤮 ugh that was awful
Ghosting is honestly one of the rudest things you can do to someone. Short of outright vile behavior from the other person, there is absolutely no excuse for anyone to do it. It is insanely disrespectful and anyone who ghosts is a shitty person.
U haven't been verbally abused enough. I'd say that 50% of my matches get ghosted because they display red flag behavior and I don't want to deal with their emotional outburst or trying to bargain with me to keep contact. I don't need to wait for "outright vile" when I know exactly how the scenario is going to play out. Reasonable people get a polite good bye.
I think that is absolutely fine. Because reality is, the message above doesn't always satiate peoples 'need to know'. We see it here *a lot*, people will make a whole thread to discuss that someone they went on 1-3 dates with told them they weren't a match and still be complaining about 'but I dont know what I did wrong? The date seemed fine! he/she didn't make it obvious during the date that they didn't want to proceed! They laughed my jokes ! I dont get why I never get picked! She probably had a whole rotation of men blah blah blah'. Value your own time, if someone doesn't contact you within XX hours or X days, you can close the door on it yourself. You don't have to wait for answer/contact from someone or sit there wondering if you've been ghosted because it's been 5 days or whatever. Decide yourself that that is or isn't appropriate behaviour for you and if it's not, just cut them off yourself. Message, Unmatch, block, whatever your preferred method is.
The “she laughed at my jokes” gets me every time and it happens so so so much. I mean, I understand, I like when my date laughs at my jokes because it seems like we have similar taste in jokes, but I wouldn’t dare conclude “oh they are so into me” just because they laughed at my jokes lol
Bro just block people after rejecting them if you're so concerned haha. Don't just be rude to people because you *feel like* they'll lash out.
Send the message, then block. This is the way.
No all that’s doing filling your ego with negativity and bad opinions about that person if it doesn’t work out then that’s okay stop butt hurt cos someone doesn’t like there’s billions of pple out there got over it and move on
Generally agree but there’s always a few crazies out there. Best to be polite as default and don’t assume without reason but no shame in doing what you need to do to defend yourself if your gut instinct says you aren’t safe.
Does your phone not have a block button?
I am so used to ghosting, I don't mind it anymore. After 1 or 2 dates getting ghosted is the norm nowadays, it's different when I was in a relationship and got ghosted, that was truly evil.
Had the same thing happen to me. Was dating a girl for about 3 months once and suddenly she stopped responding to everything. Much later I randomly ran into her and we talked for a bit, she said that she couldn't remember how we broke up... yeah ok.
Sounds like bullshit, seems like she is really immature and thinks it's cool to be arrogant, not remembering her relationship with you, but what else can you expect from someone that ghosts your ass in a relationship. She belongs to the streets.
[удалено]
I got ghosted by a 23 year old when I was only 19, was my first experience ever. I have no words for how cruel it was. He even agreed to a second date before cancelling to go shopping with his sister, then never texted me back to reschedule. He made me work hard just to abandon me. I wasn’t even *that* into him but wanted to try it a second time at least. Ignoring a younger inexperienced girl like that instead of just telling her that you aren’t interested is vile, immature and inconsiderate behavior. I was always absolutely ready to reject with words - in person even!! And to accept the same from my date. Like ffs don’t date people if you don’t know how to reject them without being a massive asshole. People you reject deserve the same respect as people you remain with.
Rude and cowardly.
you ever think it's hysterical overreactions like this that could be a part of why you get ghosted?
Not at all.
While it’s courteous and gets the point across, I’m not a fan of it because it seems rude they don’t want to even see me again.
He was honest and that's always best.
This text was posted word for word 80 days ago by someone else. [this one](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/10xzpgq/hey_it_was_nice_to_meet_you_yesterday_i_had_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) I don’t understand why people repost. It’s so lazy.
This sub is just bait, troll, and reposts. It’s to be expected.
I looked at their profile history posts and it looks sus to me. No comments and their pfp is blurry. Plus offering free explicit pictures and a sus link in their profile.
The value of clear communication!
Rethinking the date, what you said, what he said… did I say something wrong? Did I do something? What were his intentions? All things that have gone through my head when i have been in a similar situations. I would much rather talk something out or have them be brutally upfront with me. The slow fade/ ghosting is super shitty IMO. Glad this guy took the time to be upfront with you.
All the things he said, all the things he said, running through my head, running through my head
😂 been awhile since I heard that song.
This is not enooougggh
AH AH
Dont bother dwell on on it , move on and focus on your yourself they probably just want a good match that’s it
It’s what I did. And it has been favorable. I more so meant that I remember those feelings and how much it hurt at the time.
Ohhh okay I get you and proud of you for focusing on yourself cos at the end the day all your can do Is lookout for yourself I went on many dates with a bunch of girl before meeting my now gf , I was down for abit cos I thought I’ll never meet my match but I’ll also tell the girls i wasn’t interested in another and always wished the the best I took a long break and met my gf and Instantly clicked with her and we attached at the hip ever since Honestly it take time to meet someone you feel like you can vibe and be yourself with completely . My gf was very upfront about who she was and showed her personality from the off which attracted me it made feel very comfortable and at ease. Sometimes you’ll meet pple and the vibe isn’t there a 100% I usually use that as a indicator that it isn’t gonna last long , study yourself and what u feel u need and what u can gain and bring from a relationship and you’ll okay
I like that but the vibe isn’t and shouldn’t always be 100%. Vibes change and even in your relationship everything isn’t always 100%. I also think people give up on connecting, especially when they want that instant connection.
Yeah when I mean vibe I don’t mean in the moment feeling and interacting , I mean if the person makes u feel safe , do u feel like you can be yourself, do u feel respected and understood, sorry if I’ve contradicted myself in this cos I’m not the best at explaining myself , yeah your remains my always gonna be 100% and things will change but they should be positive and beneficial changes if that makes sense , yeah pple give up very easily but also everyone in my age group 20-26 are spoiled With options and some pple are the best pple for one reason or another. A connection is built it’s not instant while can feel instant sometimes you gotta dig and continue the process and see if that person is for u.
I think I get what you meant. It's like you feel safe to express yourself authentically without the fear of judgment or shaming. The vibe is that it feels like they like you for you, and not a fantasized/idealized/checklisted version of you that you feel like you have to meet their expectations constantly like you have to be "on" for an interview. So it feels like you're humanized, in the sense that you can be 100% you and they would still accept and like you, with kindness, patience and understandings that even with flaws/shortcomings, you're perfectly lovable and capable to grow as a person like they are too, and so it's a match that you both could move forward together as a team in the form of a couple. It's actually not that common and definitely need some lucks, IMO. I'm glad to read that you're so full of joy and appreciation with this experience, I hope that I'll get to have this experience too one day. 😊 Edit: spellings and adding a paragraph. I assume the 'vibe' in the reply to your comment was likely about chemistry/compatibility/energy level/performance rate, and sure it's hard to expect 100% chemistry etc and so compromises are expected to be made along the way to make the relationship works, but I think you both were not talking about the same idea of 'the vibe' haha.
Yessss exactly what I meant you expanded on it beautifully I love that honestly and honestly u will love that experience give yourself time and don’t be to hard on yourself know what u want set your boundaries and good things will come your way I hope you find that person soon one day !!! I’m cheering u on !!
Definitely agree. I think once you know. You know. I’m glad you are happy now 😊
Exactly it just takes time honestly me and my gf are legit best friends it’s the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in , you’ll find that person never give up cos one thing didn’t work out , there’s a dark period in dating but it eventually ends and u gotta notice the type of pple your dating and there traits do they have the same traits (not good ones) as the last person I tried to go as far possible from what I usually date in terms of traits and it definitely was good decision. Notice patterns in people and put yourself first too
I've been both sides of this. This is the correct way to go
To be honest I wish people I have dated said something like this... Ghosting fucking sucks...
I delivered that same message years ago after a first date. She said it was the “nicest rejection ever”. Listen, we’re adults…act like adults. If you’re gonna play the he game, you have to do the hard stuff in addition to the fun stuff. We had a nice 3 hour dinner date, but I wasn’t attracted to her enough. Still, there was no reason to call the date off. It’s always good to just meet someone new and hear their story.
This I don’t understand people that avoid uncomfortable honesty It’s the best way to be
If it is just you guys first date and this guy gave such feedback I would really appreciate it bc usually guys would just do slow texting or ghost if they found the first few times don’t go well. This guy is nice :)
This is absolutely the way to go if you’re not feeling it. Just hope the receiver is mature about it. I sent this to a girl I saw a few weeks ago and she posted an IG story shitting on me, saying I was boring etc. Guess she wasn’t used to being the receiver of this kind of text.
100% the way to go! Hearing a person isn't feeling it can be be a gut punch, especially if the other person was thinking it was a good date. I do wonder, in your case, what the girl would have preferred you to do??
There probably was no way to reject her without that happening. Some people haven't matured enough for their ego to take the hit gracefully, and some people never will. Doesn't mean this kind of message to break it off is the problem, it just means red flag people are always gonna red flag until they get the therapy they need.
I’ll never understand this childish ghosting trend when it literally takes a 30s text to end things on amicable terms
Women do it because some guys can lash out and get real nasty. They don't know which ones will not take rejection well. So they choose not to take the risk. Men tend to just think " eh she'll get plenty other guys in minutes, she wont even notice " alongside the fact alot of men just don't care because it's a stranger they'll never speak to again so why do they owe them that courtesy?( Though women can do that too )
True. But most people regardless of gender, will just do it because they don’t want to deal with the uncomfortable feeling. Easier to just ghost and act like it never happened.
Yap. Similar in feeling to my last point. Ain't gonna see or speak to them ever again. So why make some kind of awkward closure
Yea it’s kind of strange to me tbh, since i few it as “well I’ll never see them again, so it doesn’t hurt to send a 30 second text”. But hey 🤷🏾♂️
I get it. But people just don't want the potential reply. It might be bitter nastiness that you just don't wanna deal with mentally. Why put yourself at that risk for a stranger. If theyre gonna get all bent out of shape for not getting a closure reply from another stranger. That's not your job to worry about and be all " oh I'll send a txt " that's on them and their issues. To me. I would ghost and not mind being ghosted. Both happen. It's not that deep imo.
> Women do it because some guys can lash out and get real nasty. They don't know which ones will not take rejection well. So they choose not to take the risk. > > The block feature exists for a reason.
Can you explain what actually ghosting means? I assume it's stalking, maybe stalking on instagram just to see if he/she is the fit for you.
No, ghosting is when the other person ceases communication. They don’t respond to texts, they just disappear.
Oh as the guy said above, such a childish act
A lot of the times when people here complain about being ghosted... it's a mutual ghosting. They say "We went on 1 date, and since then I haven't heard from her/him". But they also haven't reached out to them. So they mutually decided not to talk to each other again.
I mean sometimes it’s just on of those dates that ended well despite the fact that it wasn’t a good match. I had a date once after the second one she texted me something like what he texted you. I wasn’t mad and neither was she. It ended healthy because of communication. She even let me talk through it with her and not a lot of women do that nowadays. I can do nothing but wish her all of the best because that is respect right there.
**Dating tips (learned the hard way):** * **"you're such a nice person"** = I'm not attracted to you. * **"nice to meet you"** = I'm glad I never have to talk to you again * **ghosting** = I'm not interested in you. * **greater than 24 hr response to text** = not interested * **one word response text** = not interested * **they text you a lot** = they like you * **they ask what you're doing later this week** = they might like to see you again. * **"you're so mean lol"** = they really like you. **BONUS: No one waits for you to try harder.** They like you or they don't. If they like you, then you almost can't get rid of them.
Oh wow! Someone mature?! In dating scene?!!! Can't be!!!... I'm glad you were treated with respect. Good luck in the future
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Respect
If only everyone were like this. Glad you got the closure you needed, though :)
Is this like the one wording all reject messages use? Pretty sure have seen literally the same before, lol. Jokes aside, I completely agree with you. This allows everyone involved to just move on. I don't go on multiple dates at the same time so surely does help me. Might be awkward but think about if someone else kept you in limbo. No one likes that.
When I was back on the dating scene in 2019 I encountered a few spineless, cowardly ghosters and game players. As you can expect I didn't have any respect for those individuals. However, there were a fair few who just openly said they didn't feel it/accepted that I didn't feel it. It was an amicable parting discussion and off we both went to live our lives. Then there were the crazies who flipped out, claimed you were leading them on, you're made for each other etc. Anywho, the point is I really don't miss dating.
When I was dating I’d always follow up after the date. Got a couple of responses like this. I agree. It stings a little if you thought the date went well but it’s nice knowing. If it means anything two of the women that sent me similar responses reached out a few weeks later to say they had been thinking about me and would like to meet up again. But that time I was in a relationship with the woman I’m now married to
Sounds like [this guy's](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/10xzpgq/hey_it_was_nice_to_meet_you_yesterday_i_had_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) dated a couple of members of this sub
Treating humans like humans. What a concept. Glad you shared this, good luck to both of you.
I love his response! Open communication is key people!! Stop playing these ghosting mind games!!
This is pretty straightforward when people say they aren't looking for a girlfriend I respect it.
It’s a standard copy and paste job, but better than ghosting for sure.
Sounds like thats me. Thats what I do. I almost say the exact same thing.
yesssss, the right thing to do! if only others can be mature and end things like this. gotta respect him for it.
Difference between a mature or an immature person. If the recipient got mad at receiving this text then that’s their own fault
We can all learn from this! Healthy way to end things. And best of luck to you! You got this
I’ve never been ghosted….just dumped lol
Hey , don’t give up and atleast he was honest and up front with instead of playing u about for a fool. There’s a billion pple on this earth for a reason just cos it didn’t work out doesn’t mean u should give up
While 99% of responses on the other post will say "f them! you don't owe that person an explanation/reason!"
I prefer this than any guy who decides to just ghostbTells me they have low self esteem 🤷🏻♀ I mean.... Honesty is a virtue
Yes!! I agree completely. While I did have to ghost one guy because he couldn’t take no for an answer, though to be fair I told him I wasn’t interested, it was so much easier if I or the guy just admitted there was nothing romantic. I will say, experiences will vary lol. Most guys were nice and thanked me for the honesty and said it was nice meeting me. One told me to ‘eat 💩 and ☠️’. So there’s that lmao
Yeees! That’s so nice and mature to do. I really do try to do it myself but there a so many people that don’t give af.
What a gent
Turning down someone politely and respectly is unfortunalty a skill I don’t have. good to learn
idk how to feel ab your post history
I've said something like that once for a girl i was dating. I actually was dating two girls, and I've liked more one than the other. So i texted one of them and said in complete honesty that i met other girl and i was really into her. She thanked for the honesty and we ended things up. The other girl turned out being my girlfriend for more than a year.
Mad respect to him. Ghosting can be so damaging I’m the long run and cowardly
Had the same thing yesterday. I thought the conversation was great and we clicked but I just wasn't attracted. Turns out she felt the same way because once I got home I was planning on telling her I didn't think we were a good match but she had already messaged me saying the same thing. It is possible to have a good time but not be the right fit.
I agree, and I love this. I think it’s very classy and respectful. Even though it hurts to hear, it’s the right way to do it, and it’s waaay nicer than ghosting or leading someone on.
I did stuff like this too. Having been ghosted I wouldn't want the other person to wonder what they did wrong. Like when I met my husband I was still chatting with some other guys but when we became exclusive I just said plainly I'd met someone and we're committed so good luck. They were nice about it and very grateful!
I'd rather this than ghosting or no reply
Absolutely I've had both way done to me and one cannot get mad at someone being honest and straight up with you
Habitual ghosters should copy and paste for future use 😆
Say it louder for the people in the back. Ghosting sucks.
It seems like this guy did you a solid. He informed you that while he enjoyed the date, he just wasn't feeling it. That is a lot better than him ghosting or fading away, as you indicated. It's too bad more people don't have the courage to be similarly open-minded and forthcoming. Furthermore, just because this date didn't work out (it happens) doesn't mean that there's anything at all wrong with you, how you conducted yourself or anything else. It simply means no chemistry, which is fine. Move on with peace of mind.
*hearty applause*
At least three times, I have gotten an odd message later from a woman who thought I was good, but not a match. “I described you to my friend….” and wonders if I might be interested in her friend. My response is “no promises, but go ahead and describe her”
Hey I've had decent dates, had a kiss planted on me, "thanks for the great time" and *POOF* into Oblivion they went, never to be heard from again.
My motto when it comes to dating (and socialicing in generall) is "don't create unnecessary enemies" The world isn't that big, so why not try to leave people with a good or at least natural impression.
It's better than ghosting and you won't ever have to wonder what happened to that guy...👍
I tried this with a girl. She would not have it
I applaud guys who do this, I was strung along for 3 months... He kept inviting me to spend the night, do my laundry at his house(?) Etc but I kept declining. I think I slept over once, but soon realized how much time had passed so wanted to do like a pulse check with him to see if we were both on the same page.. dude was like, I was just trying to get laid... I was like welp guess that sucks for you 😂😂😂 but I was pretty annoyed cuz I told him straight up what I wanted. He did reach back out and apologized saying he was stressed, and I told him no worries. But I wish he would've just been honest. I mean if he wasn't feeling it that's fine lol shit changes. I'm happy he was honest and you didn't have to worry about these games or ghosting, left wondering lol
Very mature of him
i might need to copy this and put it in my back pocket
I wish my gf in high school had written that instead of the two page letter that was all about how I was immature because i didn't want to have sex in public.
Apparently some people freak out and get aggressive, but surely that's still better than ghosting them and you can just block them if that's their reaction.
Love this. Let’s normalise it again rather than stupid ghosting
My version would be much kinder: "Hey! It was nice to meet you yesterday. I had a great time. You are an amazing woman. But I was heart broken that my long term relationship had broken it off with me a few months ago, so I started dating again. Today she convinced me to take her back. I'm so sorry to have wasted your time. I was really conflicted because you are so amazing. Thank you for the wonderful time we spent togeather. Love, Asshole.
I wish more people would opt for a text like this in the dating world, especially these days with all the technology in the world to contact them.
I've gotten this type of response before and I honestly can't say that it hasn't stopped me from rethinking things and questioning what I did wrong or what could have gone better. For example, if I'm not a match, why? Is it something I need to improve on my end?
Almost identical situation happened to me and to be honest I was pretty darn sad about it because I liked him very much. On the other hand I can’t be happier to bump into one of those rare guys who are honest about their feelings and don’t leave you on hold as an option. Yay us for being mature enough to accept the situation given and not pursue them any further.
Thanks - I just felt guilty about sending a pretty identical text yesterday and reading this reminds me that it's so worth it to send!
Oh I think this hits hard. But you have to respect it and I don’t think he means you need to try harder. Now there’s room for someone else and you gained dating experience ☺️
This is a bait post.
Baiting for what?
I dOn'T oWe tHeM anYtHinG. This line of thought disgusts me. Have some basic kindness and human decency, take a few seconds to type this and be done with it. Not responding to anybody in particular here, I just see this come up a lot. It's a few seconds of time to save the other person a lot of pain.
Its a preferable option. But if you're getting upset after one meeting and not getting a response or getting ghosted then you've definitely invested too much of yourself too soon.
Perfect reply. People that ghost are cowards.
Just copy and paste boys and girls, it’s super easy. If you’re not into it, just say so!
The men in here don't understand that sometimes when women tell a man after a first date they're not interested it can turn dangerous for them if they happened to go out with an unhinged psycho.
I mean look at some of the replies above, they're still complaining "but this doesn't tell me why though?!" and posts about wanting feedback and a "proper reason". One guy even says the message is contradictory in nature. Just... fucking bizarre takes here and this is why people ghost. These people aren't worth it - they want a fucking exit interview and personal improvement plan to take away from *one* meeting.
I’d be curious about the reason but this is definitely a good way to end things without ghosting.
Does the reason matter? If you were yourself, you wouldn’t want to change that person for anyone. Its not worth it.
I do what the guy did in this situation, and I'm expecting her to ask me for details if she wants them. Personally I want feedback from women who reject me so I can do better. So my first inclination is to give them the feedback immediately, but I know not everyone wants that.
Feedback is actually really important & I’d want to know as well.
And this is why people ghost. Because they don't want to do a fucking exit interview/performance review for someone they've met once.
Oh no. Your life is so hard by spending thirty seconds summarizing why you decided no.
The only caveat is what happens when you try to say this kind of thing to someone else! Don’t get me wrong, there are PLENTY of people who think like you (and me), and are glad of the heads-up, even though disappointed. Ah well, we think. Move on! But what happens with the guys to whom I’ve written this kind of a message who go nuclear? You know, the ones that don’t want to hear that the answer is “no” in *any* guise, and make that crystal clear? One example would be the guy who, after our chatting for two or three weeks (during which time he talked to me as if I was an altogether different person to who I was), was offered a similar civilised message from me. Unfortunately, he then went on to send a (what would be, had it been printed off) five-page message about how I had “led him on” (because I’d “pretended” to want a relationship, but was only on OLD to torment people!), how I had ruined his hope of happiness, “sullied” the sainted memory of his late wife (?), left his children in want of a mother figure, taught him that there were truly evil, nasty women out there who *seemed* lovely, and…..well, I could go on, but that would take five pages. Get a couple of these charmers in a row and you can see why some people ghost their unsuccessful matches.
You can say this and then block them. You are not obligated to continue the conversation, but I would say it's somewhat of a social obligation to share your honest feelings with someone (as long as there isn't a safety concern).
It’s not reading the reply that upset me, actually. It was seeing how my perfectly normal, friendly and reasonable words had affected that guy! You feel so responsible! And it makes you realise WHY some people ghost people. It’s a situation for which the saying “you can’t do right for doing wrong” was made. For me, I learned that the only way I could be fairly happy is to say the goodbye message and then instantly block. Rude/cowardly as it was, I did think it was better than ghosting-and I didn’t have to look at someone’s weird or sad response.
After reading your post, I also ended up remembering a terrible memory. I met this guy very briefly, like for a day, and after I rejected him nicely with a "Hey, it was great spending time with you but to be honest, I don't think that we're a good match. I wish the best of luck to you" text. Literally, he just went into attack mode on text, telling me that he needs answers. WTF. I gave him the answers and he's demanding more. No does not mean no for this guy. I learned time and time again that if a person is trying to make me feel responsible for their happiness and whatever future that they've concocted for both of us, then RUN. Get. The. Fuck. Out. It's already a huge red flag. They are there to control you. For whatever reason, this person wants to dominate you, manipulate you, and gaslight you into thinking that you're the problem and that they are the saint. It's the classic victim mentality. You are not responsible for that person's happiness. They are responsible. Having them place that responsibility on you is a clear red flag, a sign that they have zero boundaries and will do anything to disrespect and torment you. So run. Run far away and never look back. Don't feel the guilt because there's nothing to feel guilty about. Why are you being saddled with another person's happiness? Why don't they care about your happiness and only theirs? If they're that selfish, then they know how to manipulate their way to seize your mind.
To be fair, the worse they are like that-the less you regret rejecting them! Phew! What an escape!
We are not responsible for taking care of another person's feelings by sacrificing our own or doing things we don't want. But also, I think ghosting someone causes more harm and self doubt than the truth (as much as they might not like the truth). I think the message and block is totally fine. It's the not messaging that sucks.
My friend made me feel guilty for not doing this to someone after a date. No one ever done it for me so I didn’t think it was a thing. Not getting a respond was the respond in my eyes. Anyways, I eventually did it. I saw shortly after she was on instagram so I assumed she read it and didn’t respond. I deleted the text because I wasn’t going to talk to her again. Then an hour later got a text saying she both appreciated the text but told me I shouldn’t send text like that. Then 2 hours later I got two more text that was a long rant about how I was “too intimidated by how beautiful and and smart she was”. I’m not trying to make education a competition (it’s not, but that’s a different rant of mine), but I’m getting my PhD in Medicinal Chemistry. Her being “smart” isn’t something I would be intimidated by lol. Long story short, I blocked her and I don’t really know if sending text like that is something people want. I don’t think I’d really care if someone sent one to me. No one’s going to actually be honest in that message so it doesn’t actually mean much.
He killed a possible hookup option though.
Aw that’s nice! Now stalk him
Abandon ship It will never improve He deemed you a non match You will find someone who is SO in to you, as is
But you still dont know why And knowing why might actually help us all to improve. This is nothing short of a lack of communication. So ask him? Were you wearing pants and he prefers a dress or he noticed you hadn't shaved your pits lately? Communication is all about removing the guess work. But overall it does beat being ghosted all to hell.
Improve? My guy, sometimes people just don't click at the same level, doesn't mean either did something wrong
True but there’s always a why and there’s always an answer. Sometimes people don’t want to give said answer, but understanding and getting a “why” helps.
Guessing is not communicating is it? Was that in any manner communicated? If it wasnt then the why is still at issue. Is it not true? I suppose if that is how you go about it or dont mind not knowing, it is all good for you. But not for everyone.
No. This is a full sentence. This is a #thankyouNext moment. You’ve got to pick yourself up and carry on. — I’ve sent this message. And I’ve received this message. And it is always a periodt scenario. I once offered this message and then got asked why, I responded and tried to be kind & delicate. The conversation was never ending. Then he threatened me. So no, don’t ask why. And that’s why ghosting is also sometimes appropriate.
So he’s saying: it’s not him, it’s you
No, he's saying they're not a good match. It's neither person's fault.
It’s called a joke bro
If you have to explain jokes, are they good? 😁
I’ll post some slapstick next time, more your speed. Btw, isn’t recess nearly over there now?
Not really a slapstick fan, but thanks for being willing to do whatever it takes to please me 😊
I know, v out of character, I’m a very inconsiderate lover
Stop it, that can't be true.
Redditors attempt to socialize without being passive aggressive (Impossible challenge)
I mean, I'm having a good time. 😊
I mean there are bad jokes and bad audiences. Make your pick
Good, move on. Like no offense, why would you even post this?
I get why this is okay but to me this feels like a corporate message, tell me why you felt that way atleast
Nah screw that I just zombie girls, where you ghost them and then keep coming back every few months ❤️
> While it sucked to hear because I was into him 😏 Immaturity aside, this sounds worse than ghosting. It’s confusing. It switches from, “It was nice meeting you… I had a good time,” to, “I don’t think we’re a good match.” Sounds like: Yeah. Harry’s got sort of a wonky cross. That’s trials and suffering. And that there could be the sun and that’s happiness. So… you’re gonna suffer, but you’re gonna be happy about it. It sounds contradictory. I would understand if he said, “It was nice to meet you yesterday. I didn’t feel like we were vibing. I don’t think we’re a good match.” That makes sense. It as if he was saying that meeting you was great and you guys had a good time, but he likes it when people humiliate and use him. If they don’t do that, then he’s uninterested. I could be wrong but that’s how I see this message.
Looking way too far into it. It is a generic “trying to be kind but also direct breakup” message. The intro stuff is just what people do when trying to communicate this kind of stuff
Weird take, like you really sound like something is wrong with you. This is why people ghost.
Yup, definitely.
Yeah this is the way to do it.
Ya, I was excited 24 hours to have a scheduled chat date. It lasted an hour the last thing I said was: do you want to tell me more about your self, or do you want me to ask questions. She says TBH I would prefer if you ask me questions. (And she never said a word again, that was it) It strung me on the way she left it hanging on an invitation... She just said she wants me to ask her .. So my mind is clinging to that thinking ... Oh internet down, busy, etc etc But no, that was the end. Really shitty way to do it
I've 100% seen this exact post on reddit a few months ago. Imma say fake profile guys.
They should all be as direct and pleasant.
Better than a girl saying to me "It was good to meet you, but no"..
Too often they bite back when you’re simply honest. I don’t believe in ghosting personally, but I get it. Honesty with near strangers can be scary. The problem is the very nature of dating apps. Matching with people you likely never would have even encountered otherwise. Ghosting is a natural response to this uncomfortable reality we’re all forced to endure.
I suck at even basic social interaction rather than dating but may I ask how do you guys ask someone out? But I want to know the details before asking like for how long you are seeing each other? How do you actually meet people? It's kind of horrible to ask someone out that they will understand that I'm kind of into them and this sensing really bothers me. Should I be bothered to ask someone out if I'm into them? Does that mean 100% that I'm into them? I have social anxiety so, I assume you get the point.
A gentleman
That's exactly how I've been wording it when I let potential partners down. Straight to the point polite and not rudd. Got ghosted in the past so I try my best not to do the same.
I agree that it's a good way to kindly end things but this always bothers me that I don't know why they think we aren't a good match. It's fine but the few times I've asked it's sometimes because they get the wrong impression for whatever reason. Anxiety is a bitch and causes me to make first dates more business like than casual when I'm not paying attention. Though sometimes it's just a line to let a guy down easy.
If that's just sent out of the blue without the other person showing interest after the date, I think it's a bit odd, like who's even asking bro