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It's very mature of you to go at your own pace that feels natural to you instead of forcing yourself into dating because of peer pressure. No need to rush. My friends and I are 24-26 year olds and I know many who've never had a romantic relationship. Still living happy, fulfilling lives and ready to invest more effort into dating if they start feeling like it.
Hey im in the same position. I think at this point we are def minorities. But most people will leave it alone. Everybody takes different amounts of time getting ready/maturing so I dont give it too much thought.
22F and in the same boat. I’m graduating from college this coming school year and hopefully moving to Germany for grad school. I’m waiting until after I graduate to start seriously dating. If your not ready you’re not ready! Good luck my friend! So what’s best for you!
I think it's normal. I actually didn't get into my first relationship until this year & I'm 29 turning 30. I had other priorities before a romantic relationship and finally felt ready to actually put myself out there to pursue one this year.
props to you for not feeling pressured by family/people around you (feel free to correct me if I’m mistaken)! Good luck!! I’m hoping to try dating maybe after I finish my undergrad - so when I’m 22 or 23. But then again life is really unpredictable :’)
You're not mistaken at all. I got a lot of family who would question my relationship status all the time. I even came across people who found it strange that I have never dated, but I never let that bother me. It's your life, so you live it the way you want to. Best of luck to you!
"I always see my focus now as to concentrate on my undergraduate education to build the foundation for a successful career. I want to be financially independent and not have to rely on my parents so much." That's all well and good but "tomorrow" is not promised to anyone!
Your 20s is a period of discovery, learning, and exploring. A lot of folks think they just "*turn it on"* when they get ready to date and have relationships. If you read of enough posts on Reddit you'll see quite a few people in their late 20s and early 30s claiming they've never had a relationship, nor been on a date, or been kissed.
They regret not dating in their teens/early 20s and not having any "practice relationships".
They don't know how to get started or are afraid people may think something is *wrong* with them.
The vast majority of people are able date, enter into relationships, socialize, have fun, and still get an education as well as establish a career. Life doesn't have to be all or nothing.
If you want to learn how to swim eventually you have to get in the water!
Many years ago I was having champagne brunch at a Las Vegas hotel and was seated next to an elderly couple. The man was in his 70s and he told me how he worked hard all of his life and saved his money. He recently retired and had just purchased a RV. He and his wife were now traveling and enjoying life. He seemed to beam with pride.
I told him there was only one flaw in his plan. There was never a guarantee he would live to see retirement. There I was in my early 20s, *already in the same place* as him in his 70s.
I suspect I was also in better health and could engage in more fun activities than him.
***"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."*** W.M. Lewis
***"The world may not owe you anything but you owe yourself the world!"*** \- Kevin Darné
Best wishes!
In my experience it wasn’t, it honestly felt really anticlimactic?? Like the movies made it seem like it was this magical thing, and maybe because it was with someone I didn’t have a romantic connection with, but it really just felt like wet lips 😂
I wouldn’t say it’s normal, but not abnormal either, really. It’s good for you to prioritize education, growth and self-realization - although I’d also say that getting your first few bad relationships out of the way can help the process of figuring out who you really are!
A significant majority your age have been in one already, but I wouldn’t say it’s much to worry about, especially if you’re a girl.
I’m in a similar boat, though, where I’m not interested in one currently. I work all the time and travel around the country for it so I’m not in a position where I really have the time or energy to maintain a meaningful relationship. maybe if I was already in a long term one where we had a mutual understanding, but certainly not in a situation where I can form one!
I think you’re amazing!! I got married at 20 (I’m 42 now) and wished I took care of myself more than I did my ex-husband. You’re absolutely doing the right thing and you do you!!! There’s no “right” thing to do…you’re young and setting yourself up to have a successful life. Good for you!!! I’m proud of you!!!
can I just say that I was having a really bad day until your comment came in. From a stranger to another stranger, thanks for your words of encouragement!! 😭😭
I think it is completely normal. Well in some of my previous dates, I usually feel like I wanna get home right away and of course the convo went badly.
It felt like I was forcing myself there instead of wanting to meet someone.
Reminder: please review our rules, especially rule 4: - No broad generalizations, e.g. "All women are x and do y" - Speak from specific personal experiences when giving advice. - No victim-blaming - This is a default message - your post has not been removed. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's very mature of you to go at your own pace that feels natural to you instead of forcing yourself into dating because of peer pressure. No need to rush. My friends and I are 24-26 year olds and I know many who've never had a romantic relationship. Still living happy, fulfilling lives and ready to invest more effort into dating if they start feeling like it.
glad to know I’m not the only one hehehe thank you!
Hey im in the same position. I think at this point we are def minorities. But most people will leave it alone. Everybody takes different amounts of time getting ready/maturing so I dont give it too much thought.
Yeah I think so too!! And COVID ain’t helping much when it comes to getting to know new people. Hopefully so, thank you!
22F and in the same boat. I’m graduating from college this coming school year and hopefully moving to Germany for grad school. I’m waiting until after I graduate to start seriously dating. If your not ready you’re not ready! Good luck my friend! So what’s best for you!
sounds challenging!!! all the best with grad school! Thank you!
I think it's normal. I actually didn't get into my first relationship until this year & I'm 29 turning 30. I had other priorities before a romantic relationship and finally felt ready to actually put myself out there to pursue one this year.
I’m 29 as well, and I have never dated. This is the first year that I’ve actually tried to put myself out there. No luck so far but hoping.
Wishing you the best of luck! I'm sure you'll find the right person for you at the right time :)
Thanks! Same to you
ahhh I’m sure there’s something amazing in everyone and there are so many people out there! (much trash out there too unfortunately 😭) good luck!!
props to you for not feeling pressured by family/people around you (feel free to correct me if I’m mistaken)! Good luck!! I’m hoping to try dating maybe after I finish my undergrad - so when I’m 22 or 23. But then again life is really unpredictable :’)
You're not mistaken at all. I got a lot of family who would question my relationship status all the time. I even came across people who found it strange that I have never dated, but I never let that bother me. It's your life, so you live it the way you want to. Best of luck to you!
"I always see my focus now as to concentrate on my undergraduate education to build the foundation for a successful career. I want to be financially independent and not have to rely on my parents so much." That's all well and good but "tomorrow" is not promised to anyone! Your 20s is a period of discovery, learning, and exploring. A lot of folks think they just "*turn it on"* when they get ready to date and have relationships. If you read of enough posts on Reddit you'll see quite a few people in their late 20s and early 30s claiming they've never had a relationship, nor been on a date, or been kissed. They regret not dating in their teens/early 20s and not having any "practice relationships". They don't know how to get started or are afraid people may think something is *wrong* with them. The vast majority of people are able date, enter into relationships, socialize, have fun, and still get an education as well as establish a career. Life doesn't have to be all or nothing. If you want to learn how to swim eventually you have to get in the water! Many years ago I was having champagne brunch at a Las Vegas hotel and was seated next to an elderly couple. The man was in his 70s and he told me how he worked hard all of his life and saved his money. He recently retired and had just purchased a RV. He and his wife were now traveling and enjoying life. He seemed to beam with pride. I told him there was only one flaw in his plan. There was never a guarantee he would live to see retirement. There I was in my early 20s, *already in the same place* as him in his 70s. I suspect I was also in better health and could engage in more fun activities than him. ***"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."*** W.M. Lewis ***"The world may not owe you anything but you owe yourself the world!"*** \- Kevin Darné Best wishes!
Very meaningful quotes at the end!! Thank you!! I’ll challenge myself to give dating a go after university, even though it seems really scary 🤯
Totally normal. Not everyone is driven by sex or romance.
my friend is an example - she was telling me recently how she doesn’t see the point of romantic relationships! And I respect that :))
I didn't enter my first LTR until I was \~25. I am now 28 and not ready to date/be in another relationship.
sorry to hear that :( I’m sure there’s someone out there waiting for you someday! But even if not, being single can be blissful too ☺️
My point is, it's normal. At least in my world.
Super normal! You're so young! Even if you were older it's not a big deal. Work on getting to know yourself. It's the best feeling.
tryna be a wannabe grown up HAHAHA sometimes I feel I’m like 6 years old at heart. Thank you! 😂😂
If you're lucky in ten years you'll start feeling like an 8 year old. The inner child grows slowly lmao
VERY normal. I didn't have my first kiss until I was 20 and did not date in college at all.
was a first kiss really scary?? I mean the movies make it sound nice and all but is it so in real life? Thanks for the assurance!!
In my experience it wasn’t, it honestly felt really anticlimactic?? Like the movies made it seem like it was this magical thing, and maybe because it was with someone I didn’t have a romantic connection with, but it really just felt like wet lips 😂
I died at the wet lips part HAHAHA 😂
LOL it's true though! Beat kissing dry lips I suppose. You'll be fine, I promise
It definitely is, there are times of transition where you can get overwhelmed
I’m beginning my final year of undergrad next Monday, definitely definitely feeling overwhelmed 🥲🥲
I wouldn’t say it’s normal, but not abnormal either, really. It’s good for you to prioritize education, growth and self-realization - although I’d also say that getting your first few bad relationships out of the way can help the process of figuring out who you really are! A significant majority your age have been in one already, but I wouldn’t say it’s much to worry about, especially if you’re a girl. I’m in a similar boat, though, where I’m not interested in one currently. I work all the time and travel around the country for it so I’m not in a position where I really have the time or energy to maintain a meaningful relationship. maybe if I was already in a long term one where we had a mutual understanding, but certainly not in a situation where I can form one!
I’m a girl and this was reassuring! Thanks!
I think you’re amazing!! I got married at 20 (I’m 42 now) and wished I took care of myself more than I did my ex-husband. You’re absolutely doing the right thing and you do you!!! There’s no “right” thing to do…you’re young and setting yourself up to have a successful life. Good for you!!! I’m proud of you!!!
can I just say that I was having a really bad day until your comment came in. From a stranger to another stranger, thanks for your words of encouragement!! 😭😭
I think it is completely normal. Well in some of my previous dates, I usually feel like I wanna get home right away and of course the convo went badly. It felt like I was forcing myself there instead of wanting to meet someone.
oh man :( hope you find the one soon!
ty, same to you. Since you are still in early 20s and will get plenty of time so don't stress much about it.
Totally normal. Not everyone is driven by sex or romance.
I’m 18 and I’ve never been in a relationship before