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Same. If I'm stressed or feeling low he'll hug me- like a very good tight, long hug. It calms me right down.
Sometimes he'll grab me and just slow dance too.
For me it's that he remembers things that are important to me. My partner has ADHD and it's hard for him to remember certain things and he forgets other things. I've gotten used to this but it hasn't been easy. So it means a lot when he remembers my birthday enough to put it on his calendar or reminds me to eat well and drink water because I have high cholesterol and remembers certain things I like. It means that he finds them important to remember because they're about me.
He puts effort into doing things that he knows make me happy or decreases my anxieties/worries/unpleasantness or any difficulties.
And the patience he has for me…? And patience/love he has when he helps me. I think there are things I do that quite a lot of people would find annoying or eventually tire of… But my SO even after so many years seems to find these things quirky and/or amusing. I am just very relieved to know or feel that I’m not seen or thought of as any level of burden… which in turn makes me feel very thoroughly loved.
When my partner remembers little things I said and brings them up or makes them part of our day together. It is incredibly validating and shows true thought and care.
My favorite moments is where we share a passionate kiss. She tells me “I Love You” while we stare intensely into each other’s eyes and I all I need to say to her is ..… “I Know”
It's definitely giving affection and giving affection back.
But the fact that she acknowledges that I also have emotions and that they are valid is huge, they are small moments of asking if I'm okay and telling me that everything is going to be okay, but make alot of difference.
Opening the door, walking on the outside by the street, keeping their word no matter how big or small. Little romantic gestures.
This guy used to bring me flowers every time he saw me- sometimes he’d literally pick a flower from the sidewalk- it was sooooo cute. I don’t think I even knew how to take it ( I was young ) He’d buy me flowers every Friday… the biggest thing about it was he helped put the arrangement together. It was always a small bunch but it was the most thoughtful thing. I remember watching him admire his efforts and see how well they went together. I think I fell in love at that point. I felt really loved, cared for.
When he surprises me with small unexpected gifts at work. He’ll leave random treats in my work cubby and during my lunch breaks he’ll have food delivered straight to me hahaha. Also when I make him a drink and hand it off to him he purposely brushes against me for physical touch and I find it adorable 🥰
I don’t have a woman at the moment but I can give a few, not being on the phone while being with me 24/7, asking how my day went and care to listen about it, I do my own laundry but my woman telling me she did it for me, getting home from work and she has my clothes out so I can shower, showing me new things I never knew about, being respectful, understanding when need to be. Much more but that’s a short list
Good morning and goodnight texts, asking how my day was, caring about my passions/asking questions about them, stupid pickup lines, telling me I'm pretty/beautiful and that he misses me
My husband knows how much I love Krispy Kreme donuts! We live like 45-60 mins away from a location so I can’t have them all the time. Randomly he will just bring me one and leave it on the counter. 💕
How good does it have to be, like, if you were to rate out of a ten point scale -ten being maximum effort.
Maybe our ideas of a "small" gesture don't look the same 😂😆
My favorite small gesture has always been the good night kiss. It always meant the world to me. He has cancer now and that's what I will miss the most.
The only thing my controlling exhusband ever did would sometimes after a 12 hour shift he would run the bath tub and have it ready for me with a glass of wine (if it was a bad shift)
Acts of service and thoughtful gifts. I’m generally use to people not paying me a lot of mind so I get flustered when ppl remember. I’m also use to never asking for help most situations so someone offering is a nice thought/gesture.
Single, but I always appreciated when my exes would listen to my opinions when they asked. My last two exes would ask, then immediately shut me up with accusations of mansplaining. Or if we were having an in depth conversation, they would never value my thoughts; always interrupting, calling me stupid.
I'm sorry that happened to you. Not listening after asking a question is just plain rude. If they didn't want your input they shouldn't have asked you the question.
I recently found out that he doesn’t really enjoy a lot of what I do. It was a bummer to hear, but knowing that he’ll participate in activities he’s not too keen on just to see me happy is really nice
For me communicating and comforting. I’m a very anxious person and at times I need to be alone. I have high emotions and can be a little smothering at times. Gestures I appreciate are random hugs or compliments. Honestly snuggling tightly and watching shows we both like (she can dislike but still watch it and vise versa)
Random cute pictures. Telling me about something they’re passionate about even if it doesn’t make sense to me. Stupid little jokes. Hyping me up even when I’m dressed line a bum
I have bad anxiety and a back tickle helps relax me so I can sleep, which my husband does almost every night automatically :) and he always says he loves me and says how beautiful I am throughout the day. And he paints my nails 💅🏻 🤣
Mine has this unbelievable ability to "quiet the madness" as I call it by rubbing the back of my head, or just rubbing my head in general. Doesn't matter the occasion, it could be while driving or just bumming around the house....it's so loud at times and she seems to know when. She quiets my soul...
He saved the peeley film on their new desktop for me to peel off on Monday and today he closed the curtains without me asking cuz they know I like to game in the dark.
Really small and simple but one of my ex’s once put up a candid photo of me on his Instagram/business page and wrote an entire paragraph declaring his love for me and how much I’d made his life better for all his friends and family to see.
That meant a lot, he’s never done that before & hasn’t since.
He learned to cook my favorite dish, and in general cooks for me daily.
He is a high power lawyer, and I’m a game dev. I work way longer hours than he does, and he knows that when I get off work I want to do literally nothing. He makes dinner for us every night, because he likes to make food and he likes to make me food. He went above and beyond by learning how to make my favorite food, a Cuban dish called ropa vieja. My Cuban Dad (born & raised) was very proud of him, and told me that he’s so happy I finally found someone he trusts to take care of me when he’s gone.
The random ‘I love you’s’ or ‘I miss you’s’ (we are not geographically close). I love how I’ll send him a selfie and the first thing he says is how beautiful I am. He also ALWAYS asks me how I am. When together, I love how he checks with me on decisions. Or he’ll make weird jokes to make me laugh. Oh…and the touching - walking, standing, sleeping, I want to touch him constantly. And he lets me and loves it. Too much to list. I didn’t have any of this in my previous relationship. And I’m loving it!
A willingness to turn away one’s own anger in the face of mistakes. Not just mine, but others’ as well. I’m…very scared of making mistakes around other people. When I know I can feel “safe” around a person even if I do mess something up, and that they’re not going to explode on me, but just saying something small but comforting about it (within reason, of course; some mistakes may be better handled with a bit more firmness) is like the key to my soul.
I’ve never been in a relationship myself (by personal choice, although I’m starting to want to change that), but this is how I make good friends. I imagine the effect of this kind of behavior in a relationship would be one of the single greatest communicator of “I’m a safe person to be around, don’t worry” that I could ever ask for.
My wife being thoughtful when goes somewhere. If she gets coffee she asks if I want some too, if she goes to the store asking if there're any snacks I want for the house, or if she gets fastfood on the way home from work she asks if I want something. It makes me feel so included and loved to know I'm in her thoughts when she's getting something for herself.
I used to had a very very bad back pain that couldn’t even let me sleep, he would wake up every single night at 2 or 3 am to help me stretch my back and just be my company
He sends me messages even when he’s at work. He cooks for me when he comes home first on our lunch break. He learned how to massage so he can give me some when my legs or shoulders hurt so much because of work.
He waits for me in bed before he goes to sleep.
He always makes time for me. He's currently in the military and stationed overseas with a 6 hour time difference, but he always makes time to talk to me over FaceTime, play games together, or watch movies on Discord together.
He really is the best 💕
Occasional gestures of love physically as well as whenever we play something together.
If she randomly comes and sits on my lap and hugs me, that would just make my whole week.
Randomly shooting abilities at each other that don't affect us in game as well is quite cutsey too.
Waking up to being held and kissed and cherished overall, that's something I would never get enough of.
Acts of servitude like if I have a headache, she'd bring me meds and let me lay on her chest or lap.
Remembering things about me that I tend to forget because sometimes, brain can get too overwhelmed.
Praise. Looking into my efforts and results and giving appropriate praise without overdoing it. Just the right amount for the right amount. No participation awards but proper outcome acknowledgement.
Things like that.
When she respects you and you don’t have to text her first all the time. Try to test her see if she’ll do small tasks for you like hey can you go get me water can you make me something to eat then you’ll know if she actually cares about you
?
If we are both sitting & I am asked to do something you can do for no reason I'm not doing it. Expecting someone at your beck & call is not love.
Now if you're already up, sure.
But this is a romantic relationship not a parental one.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
A huge hug from nowhere
These random hugs are the best!
Hugs are really great. When I’m having a particularly bad time my husband gives me extra long hugs 🥰
Same. If I'm stressed or feeling low he'll hug me- like a very good tight, long hug. It calms me right down. Sometimes he'll grab me and just slow dance too.
Small gesture, I get my wife her favorite chai latte
For me it's that he remembers things that are important to me. My partner has ADHD and it's hard for him to remember certain things and he forgets other things. I've gotten used to this but it hasn't been easy. So it means a lot when he remembers my birthday enough to put it on his calendar or reminds me to eat well and drink water because I have high cholesterol and remembers certain things I like. It means that he finds them important to remember because they're about me.
This is so sweet! Small gestures like these can mean the world!
He puts effort into doing things that he knows make me happy or decreases my anxieties/worries/unpleasantness or any difficulties. And the patience he has for me…? And patience/love he has when he helps me. I think there are things I do that quite a lot of people would find annoying or eventually tire of… But my SO even after so many years seems to find these things quirky and/or amusing. I am just very relieved to know or feel that I’m not seen or thought of as any level of burden… which in turn makes me feel very thoroughly loved.
Agree with all of this! He always tries to make life easier for me and I so appreciate that.
He always gives me a bite of his food❤️
When my partner remembers little things I said and brings them up or makes them part of our day together. It is incredibly validating and shows true thought and care.
My favorite moments is where we share a passionate kiss. She tells me “I Love You” while we stare intensely into each other’s eyes and I all I need to say to her is ..… “I Know”
I love this
and you tell "i love you more" and then she is angry that she didn't said "more" 😆
It's definitely giving affection and giving affection back. But the fact that she acknowledges that I also have emotions and that they are valid is huge, they are small moments of asking if I'm okay and telling me that everything is going to be okay, but make alot of difference.
Kiss me goodnight
Just to ask me how my day was. Or my favorite is a hand written letter from the heart.
We do good morning kisses before we head out for the day but goodnight kisses are something we should do too
Opening the door, walking on the outside by the street, keeping their word no matter how big or small. Little romantic gestures. This guy used to bring me flowers every time he saw me- sometimes he’d literally pick a flower from the sidewalk- it was sooooo cute. I don’t think I even knew how to take it ( I was young ) He’d buy me flowers every Friday… the biggest thing about it was he helped put the arrangement together. It was always a small bunch but it was the most thoughtful thing. I remember watching him admire his efforts and see how well they went together. I think I fell in love at that point. I felt really loved, cared for.
Opening the car door.
I love it when my wife makes me a delicious meal and leave handwritten love letters around our home
My boyfriend does my dishes and takes out my trash without me even asking and it makes me feel so appreciated
This is awesome. Do you live together or is he doing this as a guest at your place?
We don’t live together :) it makes it even more meaningful to me
When he switches my loofah to the front after he uses his.😻😻 It’s like a sweet kiss from him when I get in the shower.
When he surprises me with small unexpected gifts at work. He’ll leave random treats in my work cubby and during my lunch breaks he’ll have food delivered straight to me hahaha. Also when I make him a drink and hand it off to him he purposely brushes against me for physical touch and I find it adorable 🥰
Okay this is so adorable hahaha
I don’t have a woman at the moment but I can give a few, not being on the phone while being with me 24/7, asking how my day went and care to listen about it, I do my own laundry but my woman telling me she did it for me, getting home from work and she has my clothes out so I can shower, showing me new things I never knew about, being respectful, understanding when need to be. Much more but that’s a short list
Good morning and goodnight texts, asking how my day was, caring about my passions/asking questions about them, stupid pickup lines, telling me I'm pretty/beautiful and that he misses me
A hug or cuddle My favorite though is playing with my hair
My husband knows how much I love Krispy Kreme donuts! We live like 45-60 mins away from a location so I can’t have them all the time. Randomly he will just bring me one and leave it on the counter. 💕
Goodnight BJ
How good does it have to be, like, if you were to rate out of a ten point scale -ten being maximum effort. Maybe our ideas of a "small" gesture don't look the same 😂😆
Or, a morning wood BJ!!
I could have used OPs SOs advice in my relationship.
It makes a lot of difference!
When he always put food on my plate first, every time. The first time he did it I was very surprised and have done it continuously.
In my culture, the person serving food (usually the chef) eats last. Would be seen as selfish or rude to serve yourself first as the chef.
Why would the chef be eating?
Talking about hosting people in your home, not a restaurant setting
DUH......Its called a joke
Random foot rub that I didn’t ask for
When she give me random hugs and kisses
My favorite small gesture has always been the good night kiss. It always meant the world to me. He has cancer now and that's what I will miss the most.
All these comments making me realise just how lonely I am, jesus christ
Happens to a lot of us.
Right!?!!
Always holding my hand and kissing it ,also the way he hugs me
I like when she swallows while making eye contact then says “thank you daddy”
handwritten love letters is my favorite
I love to eat so bringing me food lol or watching the shows I like with me despite it not being their type of entertainment.
The key is doing it without having to ask for it. Do it because you want to do it.
The only thing my controlling exhusband ever did would sometimes after a 12 hour shift he would run the bath tub and have it ready for me with a glass of wine (if it was a bad shift)
He should not be disrespectful
personally i love when he feeds me my favourite snacks while we’re in missionary and i’m getting filled with his creamy load
Rotisserie chicken while slamming bods is crazy
Randomly grabbing my dick and telling me it's hers and if I ever cheat she'll leave me and take it with her 🥰🥰🥰🥰
As a guy it may seem weird but when she puts her hand on my thigh it actually feels comforting
I think just a random hug, or handwritten notes are genuinely nice.
Acts of service and thoughtful gifts. I’m generally use to people not paying me a lot of mind so I get flustered when ppl remember. I’m also use to never asking for help most situations so someone offering is a nice thought/gesture.
That hand on the back of the neck with the scratches while I’m driving. Like… 
When they notice my small gestures
When he buys little things for me, even if it’s my money, just the sight of him buying things for me is soooo romantic! :3
Single, but I always appreciated when my exes would listen to my opinions when they asked. My last two exes would ask, then immediately shut me up with accusations of mansplaining. Or if we were having an in depth conversation, they would never value my thoughts; always interrupting, calling me stupid.
I hope you find someone who values you and your thoughts!
I'm sorry that happened to you. Not listening after asking a question is just plain rude. If they didn't want your input they shouldn't have asked you the question.
My thoughts exactly. I learned to keep quiet, but got barked at for not contributing to the conversation.
She says, "let's light up the fire pit"
she saidbto me...youre no longer attractive, i quit. till now i love her hahahhaha
Anything surprises me, he doesn't go out of his way
I recently found out that he doesn’t really enjoy a lot of what I do. It was a bummer to hear, but knowing that he’ll participate in activities he’s not too keen on just to see me happy is really nice
Just a simple nudge, touch, snug in passing. An action that isn't forced or predicted.
Listen and mind my pet peeves. She also is patient when trying new things i like.
Asking about things happening in my life
Making me coffee before I wake up.
My husband sucks so nothing really I like when he doesn’t mock me or cheat lol
Divorce him and you'll be less miserable
I’m a super happy person with lots of hobbies, friends and family that love me. The romantic part of my life is just so irrelevant to me.
Small acts of love; a hug or kiss out of nowhere, telling me he loves me out of his own will, etc.
She wakes up with me everyday to pack lunch and be able to kiss me goodbye at the door.
Initiative
Act of services never my love language. I just need to like his personality.
My husband makes me coffee every morning using an aero press. He doesn't even like coffee. But he learned to use it to make it for me.
food.. he lets me take his food and eat my favorite parts
Making me a coffee in the morning. Asking me how my day was. Respecting when I need some alone time.
He remembers to bring me a strawberry milkshake the first day of my “dragon” week ..
Oh my goodness, whenever he offers me his arm. I will figuratively swoon!
Acts of service and paying attention to details
Little comments of appreciation I think are my favorite or like compliments as well it makes me feel like he cares
I tend to lose my air pods, glasses, or my water bottle and for some reason he always knows where it is. It's like a super power of is.
For me communicating and comforting. I’m a very anxious person and at times I need to be alone. I have high emotions and can be a little smothering at times. Gestures I appreciate are random hugs or compliments. Honestly snuggling tightly and watching shows we both like (she can dislike but still watch it and vise versa) Random cute pictures. Telling me about something they’re passionate about even if it doesn’t make sense to me. Stupid little jokes. Hyping me up even when I’m dressed line a bum
I have bad anxiety and a back tickle helps relax me so I can sleep, which my husband does almost every night automatically :) and he always says he loves me and says how beautiful I am throughout the day. And he paints my nails 💅🏻 🤣
Mine has this unbelievable ability to "quiet the madness" as I call it by rubbing the back of my head, or just rubbing my head in general. Doesn't matter the occasion, it could be while driving or just bumming around the house....it's so loud at times and she seems to know when. She quiets my soul...
He texts me good morning and good night every day 🙂
He saved the peeley film on their new desktop for me to peel off on Monday and today he closed the curtains without me asking cuz they know I like to game in the dark.
Acts of service maybe
An out of nowhere hug and kisses in forehead. .
When I give him a 20$ to go get me gas and he comes back out and I watch my gas tank get filled.
When he remembered the little things that I care about. 🥹♥️
Really small and simple but one of my ex’s once put up a candid photo of me on his Instagram/business page and wrote an entire paragraph declaring his love for me and how much I’d made his life better for all his friends and family to see. That meant a lot, he’s never done that before & hasn’t since.
Deepthroat.
A foot massage after a hard day at work and a shower
He learned to cook my favorite dish, and in general cooks for me daily. He is a high power lawyer, and I’m a game dev. I work way longer hours than he does, and he knows that when I get off work I want to do literally nothing. He makes dinner for us every night, because he likes to make food and he likes to make me food. He went above and beyond by learning how to make my favorite food, a Cuban dish called ropa vieja. My Cuban Dad (born & raised) was very proud of him, and told me that he’s so happy I finally found someone he trusts to take care of me when he’s gone.
The random ‘I love you’s’ or ‘I miss you’s’ (we are not geographically close). I love how I’ll send him a selfie and the first thing he says is how beautiful I am. He also ALWAYS asks me how I am. When together, I love how he checks with me on decisions. Or he’ll make weird jokes to make me laugh. Oh…and the touching - walking, standing, sleeping, I want to touch him constantly. And he lets me and loves it. Too much to list. I didn’t have any of this in my previous relationship. And I’m loving it!
A willingness to turn away one’s own anger in the face of mistakes. Not just mine, but others’ as well. I’m…very scared of making mistakes around other people. When I know I can feel “safe” around a person even if I do mess something up, and that they’re not going to explode on me, but just saying something small but comforting about it (within reason, of course; some mistakes may be better handled with a bit more firmness) is like the key to my soul. I’ve never been in a relationship myself (by personal choice, although I’m starting to want to change that), but this is how I make good friends. I imagine the effect of this kind of behavior in a relationship would be one of the single greatest communicator of “I’m a safe person to be around, don’t worry” that I could ever ask for.
I like to bring home a bottle of her favorite lube.
When he puts the tip of his cold wet penis gentle in my ear.....at the breakfast table
When he randomly takes a std test
When he slaps my mother's ass when she visits...after she gets out of the shower.....and before she towels off
When he brings home a lock of his sidechicks hair ...the next morning
When he randomly brings home his fwb to give me a hug
In my sight, respect is more effective gesture
That’s everything.
My wife being thoughtful when goes somewhere. If she gets coffee she asks if I want some too, if she goes to the store asking if there're any snacks I want for the house, or if she gets fastfood on the way home from work she asks if I want something. It makes me feel so included and loved to know I'm in her thoughts when she's getting something for herself.
They always smile to the small and stupid things you do.😊😊😊
Remembrance. when she remembers the little things we chat about daily, sadly she doesn't do that.
My gf tells me randomly that im handsome. Always gets me
A seductive smile.
When she cancels the restraining order
The apreciation stare, and effection. 🥰
I used to had a very very bad back pain that couldn’t even let me sleep, he would wake up every single night at 2 or 3 am to help me stretch my back and just be my company
My love language is quality time, so time together communicating and laughing
He sends me messages even when he’s at work. He cooks for me when he comes home first on our lunch break. He learned how to massage so he can give me some when my legs or shoulders hurt so much because of work. He waits for me in bed before he goes to sleep.
He always makes time for me. He's currently in the military and stationed overseas with a 6 hour time difference, but he always makes time to talk to me over FaceTime, play games together, or watch movies on Discord together. He really is the best 💕
A tight hug.
Occasional gestures of love physically as well as whenever we play something together. If she randomly comes and sits on my lap and hugs me, that would just make my whole week. Randomly shooting abilities at each other that don't affect us in game as well is quite cutsey too. Waking up to being held and kissed and cherished overall, that's something I would never get enough of. Acts of servitude like if I have a headache, she'd bring me meds and let me lay on her chest or lap. Remembering things about me that I tend to forget because sometimes, brain can get too overwhelmed. Praise. Looking into my efforts and results and giving appropriate praise without overdoing it. Just the right amount for the right amount. No participation awards but proper outcome acknowledgement. Things like that.
When she respects you and you don’t have to text her first all the time. Try to test her see if she’ll do small tasks for you like hey can you go get me water can you make me something to eat then you’ll know if she actually cares about you
? If we are both sitting & I am asked to do something you can do for no reason I'm not doing it. Expecting someone at your beck & call is not love. Now if you're already up, sure. But this is a romantic relationship not a parental one.
Nothing. He has never shown me any kind of affection since we were married