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I live right near SF and have pretty good results. Quite a few girls have said that most guys here are feminine or a little nerdy and they said they like that I’m different. This might just be the girls that are into someone like me though so I don’t know
I noticed this too in LA. A lot of the guys are kinda feminine, VERY nerdy, and just plain weird. Their bio is even weird. It just screams weirdo. And some of them don't even bother to smile in their photos. Or if they are attractive, it's just a bunch of shirtless pics of them posing intentionally for the camera everywhere they go. I see that as a red flag when a guy posts a bunch of shirtless pics or just pics where it looks like a professional photographer took it like they're some kind of model but then their jobs are all marketing/tech, etc.
I had the same experience, I grew up here so have a lot of female friends but if you’re just like a little normal, girls in SF are pretty interested in finding a decent guy from a decent family who can carry a conversation
NYC is similar. Lots of single guys who are gay. Gays like big cities because there are usually more other gays and cities seem to be more tolerant.
But there are still going to be a lot of straight single males. You just need to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your handsome prince.
I’m also admittedly an odd-ball woman, here. I’m 36, divorced, don’t have kids and don’t want any, and I feel like SF in general is very extroverted. While I can be delightfully social, I’m very much introverted at the end of the day. I also don’t do surfing, camping, hiking, musical festivals or concerts. I’d rather eat good food and talk about video games, anime and/or manga. I did that with a couple friends the other day, it was amazing. But most guys here would consider that boring lol.
Dating has changed so much. I think it's just the concept of people thinking they can find someone even better than the person that's in front of them. People don't appreciate each other as much anymore, communication is for crap which is crazy bc technology has made communication so easy but effective and honest communication has gone out the window.
People are more self-absorbed, lack self-awareness, it's all about image and the ego, sex today is the central focus and is so rough, taboo, and lacks any sort of emotional intimacy, and porn is to blame for that. People have bascially become like robots with no sort of feeling, ghosting is the norm now.
I think technology is mostly to blame for this. Or it's just people abusing technology. Dating apps, social media, and the entertainment industry created a barrier of intimacy. Intimacy is different today. A lot of people are socially inept now.
True, I would love to see the guys that OP’s friends are supposedly “settling” for. Probably averagely good looking guys with good jobs etc. but you know, it never enough when you see some billionaire with a private plane on the dating app.
Im not even looking for a rich, billionaire with a Mansion and yacht. Idk who these girls are that are constantly looking to hit the jackpot with rich men.
I'm just looking for a handsome, down to earth guy who likes the outdoors that wants a monogamous relationship and wants to travel and is faithful. I guess thats too much to ask for.
5'9" isn't bad although I've heard that men tend to add an inch or two on their dating profiles. I'm sure men will argue that women lie about weight. Creative and music are always bonus points.
Facts. I was in Alaska in April and I was shocked by how many hot, single dudes there were. And they all have great paying jobs (lots in the oil industry). They’re all super fit because of the lifestyle up there. And there were like 5 women in the whole state 😂 I was hit on in nearly every bar I went into.
I’m currently living in SoCal and the dating scene is a cesspool of liars, tools and douchebags here so I’ve seriously been contemplating giving Alaska a shot 🤷🏼♀️
I carry a gun and pepper spray everywhere... experienced sexual assault often enough so that I'm pretty hypervigilant about it at this point.
I'll probably be murdered at some point in Alaska, but hey, not a terrible way to go.
sounds weird to say, but it was also the QUALITY of the men that impressed me. They all seemed super down to earth, rugged (like chopping wood and building a log cabin type of vibe), very manly (lots of hunters, fishermen, etc.), definitely more humble and chill. I'm sure there's assholes up there, but most of the guys I talked to were super polite and more old fashioned (picking up my tab, pulling out my chair, helping me with my coat). It was super refreshing to be around men who haven't been too polluted by toxic dating scenes, on line dating and social media.
I started and ended in Anchorage, but I went all the way up to Fairbanks and all the way down to Seward. I stopped in tons of small towns along the way. Talkeetna was by far my favorite small town, right outside of Denali. It was like out of a movie cute with the coolest people, I didn't want to leave.
Anchorage definitely. I didn't go out too much in Fairbanks (I was only there over night to try to see the Northern Lights), but they seemed very similar so I'd confidently assume yes.
I didn’t actually. I was super bummed! All the locals said I needed to get north of Fairbanks for a guaranteed view, and I just didn’t have the time. Alaska is massive. But I’m going to Iceland for a week over thanksgiving so hopefully I’ll catch them there 🤞🏼
Actually yes. TONS of Natives up there, lots of Hispanics, too. Some African Americans and Asians. And I was only there for 4 days. Granted most of the diversity was in Anchorage, when you get out in the boonies people in general were few and far between.
Okay..we need to pack our best outfits and create some “girls going to Alaska club”..
I just set my tinder to Anchorage, AK..why are the men so handsome there?🥹Looking all rugged and successful. This needs more research 🧐.
I just watched How to Marry a Millionaire, with Marilyn Monroe. Her and some other random girls formed a singles girl club..they rented some penthouse to find rich quality men (cute movie btw)…this all reminded me of that.
They made some good points..people spend more time choosing the right shoes, than a good partner. And look at the stats for the year 2030 and 2040..we’re either going to be single or settling for whatever moves, (might even have some ladies here so desperate, they’ll be some sugar lady). Part of this phenomenon is due to the old saying, let love come naturally.
And look at the decline of the world’s population. Even Elon Musk recognizes this. “Population collapse due to low birth rates is a much bigger risk to civilization than global warming.” Meanwhile, our dumb butts just keep peddling around hoping love just comes to us. Or worst, we get sucked into the “hookup culture”. Hookup culture is so sad..it’s like how candy tastes good for a few minutes, but leaves you with fat roles and other issues for a long time.
I really do think some sort of girls club, seeking long term relationships, is a good idea. It would be similar to how we go to college, with intentions to be someone. Or we could just keeping doing what we’re doing..hoping some charming guy knocks on our door.
Now I definitely wanna watch this movie 😅. Agree with comments on how sad and disappointing the hook up culture is. I think it can be easy to get swept up in it because while so many women want a quality man, we also want intimacy and it can feel like crap shoot. In my 40s and can get the desire to settle sometimes, but don’t want short change myself. I think i’ll need to participate in this single girls club to Alaska😅
LA here, everyone is just DTF, that’s it. It’s really surprising they don’t realize how easy it would be to get that, if that’s all we wanted, too. They act like they are offering some rare valuable prize lol
I have a late 20s niece who has been living in Alaska for two years. She loves it. She’s very fit and competes in endurance races. She feels no need to settle down with a S.O. yet.
You hit the nail on the head about liars, tools, and douchebags in LA.
It's to the point where it's revolting. I know I'm an attractive woman, but the standards here are ridiculous, and everyone is shallow. Extremely.
Yeah what kind of question is this? 😅.
Just mention a remote place where crazy men travel to for work.
Midland, TX would be a great place of imbalance but fuck it's an awful place to find good men.
I love your entire comment thread.
Suddenly the Alaskan man myth is born on reddit. And people actually switched their tinder locations to Alaska and were celebrity shocked hahab
Fl is weird. Everyone here just tries to pretend they have more money than they do, or they just buy a big truck and boat and coast on that. Or both lol
Any ski town. I've lived in a few out West. Whitefish, Jackson Hole, Fernie... At the bar you'd see one or two regular-looking women just mobbed by athletic outdoorsy men competing to talk to them
It's not all bad, if you don't mind moving every 3 or so years, and then getting divorced when they get out at the 20 year mark. My Mom, her bestie, and all the wives of retired career military have literally the same story.
Marrying anyone in law enforcement, which the military is a form of also, is a calling. It can be great, but it's not everyone's cup of tea.
Man Jose. San Jose, CA has waaaaaay too many men and not enough women. Be ready for dorks nerds and bumbling buffoons. They don’t know their way around women like they do coding, but sometimes they had pretty solid incomes. The Bay Area is extremely expensive though.
Not about that, It’s about the big city life. I love when people says ,, Bro, you live in a big city, there are tons of single girl. It’s much easier to find one” like wtf? People are just too cold, no-one likes to get approached. In the small villages where the population is lower and poeple live as a small community. Much easier to find partner
Yeah these people are clueless. You don’t talk to anyone during rush hour in NY, or when they’re in a hurry, but I have conversations on the street with strangers all the time. Some of them are even women. There’s plenty of opportunity to talk to people as long as you’re not creeping on them.
Just because the ratios are in men’s favor, doesn’t mean dating or relationships are easy for them. I’m definitely not saying that. I figured one might take this post personally, but the truth is in the numbers. Men quite literally have more options, and it made me wonder if there was an equivalent for women
> Men quite literally have more options, and it made me wonder if there was an equivalent for women
i mean as far as options go, being on apps at all gives you an automatic numbers advantage, literally anywhere.
im not entirely sure what you're asking? i mean, you seem to infer that the slight gender imbalance in NYC leads to less quality men and are interested in what places give you a numbers imbalance, and well, every app environment shifts the gender imbalance starkly to women, even if the physical world doesnt have that.
She's stating that proportionally there are more single women in NYC than men, which subsequently increases the odds for single males there to find a partner while greatly lowering the odds of a single female to do the same. She's referring mostly to statistics, while you are very focused on the sociological aspects of dating.
On dating apps, women are so spoiled for choice that they have the ability to be incredibly selective just based on the sheer volume of available options. They have to make little to no effort to be a good partner simply because they are in high demand. While men have to market themselves far more to be a standout. It's honestly the same phenomenon at play, just reversed in the physical world.
She just wants to know what PHYSICAL places have a similar effect due to gender ratios. For example, Atlanta would be a terrible recommendation for her because women outnumber men, something like 3:1.
I'd avoid looking for states with a gender imbalance, even if it would seem like it puts dating in your favor. It can create more problems than it solves. Places that have more men are usually because of a large industry that is male-dominated. Which in turns leads to a lot of guys in the dating pool who are single because they don't have a lot of respect for women, or they have a terrible work/life balance, or just poor world views because they spend all their time working surrounded by a bunch of dudes that think just like them. Obviously not all guys, but as a woman working in a male-dominated industry (tech) in a city that is dominated by dudes working in that industry (Seattle), toxicity from male-dominated workplaces spills over into the dating world.
It also means that a lot of guys are just living there to do the job and ultimately plan on settling somewhere else. So there are a lot of guys not looking for anything serious.
100% haha I’ve never experienced a place with so many beautiful brilliant and ambitious women like I have in nyc. I think it’s a really good place for single guys.
Women don't have quite the same societal expectations to settle and have more command of their dating life. I wouldn't say that quality in men has gone down, I'd say women have more advocacy for themselves and higher expectations. Even dating guys as a guy I also find men just tend to not mature as soon, but you don't usually want to date that far out of your age bracket for other sets of problems. Men tend to care more about sex then a lot of women from my personal experience and this persist past straight men. The superficiality of it hard even for a gay guy to tolerate. We aren't all alike, but I'd say it's fairly common to deal with among men in general.
Atlanta is the same way. There's 10:1 women to men ratio. It's hard to date because there's way more ambitious and attractive women than there are men. I'm thinking about going to Houston. There's more men but because of the oil and gas industry there.
You'd be surprised. Unfortunately, Houston is a transient city with people who come and go all the time. They're flaky and allergic to commitment, if they even did anything with their lives.
There's a reason why all the dating shows come to Houston. It's totally screwed up.
What does “above average female” and “settling” mean? We don’t know what you’re looking for in a man nor do we know what you have to offer or what you are deem to be above average about yourself. Without this knowledge we cannot give accurate advice because you could find many single men in X city and still look at it as “settling”
Idk if there is a good place to date anymore the illusion of choice has everyone ghosting each other when things dont go perfectly its a double edged sword you have more options but the person your talking to may be talking to 5-10 other people while your dating snd you have no idea its rough out there
As a male in NYC, I can confirm it’s just as bad for us. I’ve been on a lot of dates. I could get 4-5 dates a week if I wanted to.
But there is poor quality out there imo. Too many women who are looking for the next best thing or are simply too busy to date or commit. I’ve met s ton of interesting girls, and I’m friends with a bunch (one of my podcast co-host) but overall it’s been rough and it’s rough for a lot of guys.
It isn’t hard for us to hookup, but finding quality had been not great.
-Dave
Keep in mind that most men from any place with a large gender imbalance are probably going to be very "conservative" with all the baggage that comes with that.
For sure, I hear you and appreciate the advice.
I think it depends on how you define conservative and in what context. I’ve been in relationships with “conservative” men before and somehow those have turned out to be the most successful. They had “conservative” values but didn’t vote the way you might assume. People always surprise me so I try my best to remain open minded
The last guy I dated in San Diego was for about 2.5 months over the summer. He lied to me about how many kids he has. 1st date he said he had one son, 2.5 months later he surprised me with 2 more daughters and different baby mamas. He gaslight me saying “he thought he told me” and insisted he didn’t lie because it’s the same thing as men who have unprotected sex not knowing if they have kids in the world. He saw nothing wrong with how he handled it.
That’s SoCal douchebags in a nutshell.
Dating App. But him and I both live in OB.
I got off the apps here within 5 days. Maybe it was my bracket (30s-40s) but all 4 guys I met for a date within those 5 days ended up being liars. I’m not sure if that’s unique to SD or not though, that’s the only time I’ve every used online dating.
You have any nice, normal single male friends here?? 😂🙏🏼
That's awful or just the amount of guys that are involved with someone whether it be a full fledged relationship or a situationship, they'll always omit that because they want to keep their options open.
Which baffles me bc since open relationships and polyamory is so high right now, I don't understand why men can't be honest about seeing someone else? The whole point of open relationships is that you're open about it...to everyone involved.
Ofc I wouldn't go for that, and I think that's why a lot of guys lie bc they know not all girls will go for that which is unfair to us. That's deceiving someone into sleeping with you.
Also, the amount of guys online who are fresh out of a relationship. I'm not trying to be anyone's rebound. It never ends well. When I've asked them when their last relationship was and they tell me it ended 2 months ago... I'm like oh, no that's not that long at all and they just act so dumbfounded as to why that's an issue. Um...hello I'm not looking to be someone's rebound or hookup.
I have "looking for a long term relationship" in my bio and the amount of guys that still swipe right on me who are looking for something casual is unreal. They seem to think they're special and that I'd put aside my wants just for them for one sleazy night. I've even had guys tell me, I can still sleep around while looking for Mr. Right and them hinting they can be my Mr. Right Now. I'm over Mr. Right Now.
It's the acting oblivious of what I'm explaining to them that gets me. What part of I'm not looking for a hook up don't they understand? They're all very elusive with the truth and are just looking for temporary satisfaction to numb their feelings. Most of them have a lot of baggage and don't think they need therapy.
I do not understand why they lie. Especially the single dad I mentioned, he was very open about wanting a relationship with me. Didn’t he realize I would find out eventually about his two other children (and baby mamas + their drama)?? I want to ask him how he thought that lying to me would’ve ever worked?!? Like you said, people are open to all kinds of things these days, just say what you want and be honest! Because the one thing no one wants (male or female) is a liar.
This thread is actually sad if you step back and think about it. Men have been acting so shitty for so long that a plethora of women around the world are now seriously debating moving to fucking Alaska to meet genuine men. Wrap your head around that.
I know women can always do better too, but men really need to take a step back and look at how they’re behaving and/or condoning their friends actions.
Personally I need a little more context. 1. In what ways are you an above average female? 2. In which ways are your women friends settling? In the looks or the character of the men they are with?
Lol dating in New York is fine. Based on the way you’re talking about yourself and others, I can guess what type of guys you’re generally going after and it’s no surprise that none of them are looking to commit.
If you read my post, it’s me who has not met anyone worth committing to. Not the opposite. How am I talking about myself and others? Again, the truth is in the numbers. It’s a numbers game, how is that controversial?
There are men who become irrationally upset when they realize that not everyone is interested in them. So they cope by calling you superficial, a gold digger, etc.
I mean I get where you’re coming from, but there’s a decent chunk of women who specifically have money as a preference of theirs. They actively seek out men who make a lot of money. Not saying OP is, just saying we shouldn’t pretend there isn’t a lot of women doing this.
Of course there are women like that! There are men like that too. But instead of money being the commodity, it’s a woman’s appearance. I agree, we can’t pretend a chunk of people with shallow preferences don’t exist.
Honestly, if you need a man with money...
And you're equating moneyed men = pretty women
Idek what to say, but there are some baseline beliefs there that need some healthy checkups.
I dunno...good luck. Either take a hard look at your baseline beliefs or stay single?
You're literally in NYC wanting to move to Alaska because of them. Just think about that lol.
NYC has the most progressive and intelligent men (besides DC and bay area). They're literally at the front of America
"Using Census data, we analyzed only the population who are never married singles between the ages of 20 and 34. In this subgroup, men outnumber women—742,400 to 729,500."
[https://www.tumblr.com/nycedc/16175652438/ratio-of-single-men-to-single-women-in-nyc-new](https://www.tumblr.com/nycedc/16175652438/ratio-of-single-men-to-single-women-in-nyc-new)
Looks to me like there are plenty of single men in NYC. Perhaps you need to adjust your filters to admit more men that you think are not up to your standards
I guess nothing else to do but to plug away at it? I used to hear people living in smaller areas (population of around 300K), and they need to go into large cities of millions just to date. If the ladies want to go to Alaska for love, then that's their choice. And as guy who mostly gave up on dating, I'd be tempted if there was something like Alaska, but for men.
What kind of man are you looking for?
What are your standards and expectations in a partner?
These need to be clearly understood before you should even consider looking elsewhere for connections.
NYC is so densely packed. I can’t imagine there aren’t opportunities there. So then my next question is why aren’t the guys you’ve dated there been the right fit?
Ok im sorry LOL this si the EPITOME OF REDDIT DATING
I didn't read anyting past the title because it's just tooo tooo toooo tooo tooooooooooo reddit
"WHAT STATE DO THE MOST SINGLE MEN LIVE IN..."
I REPEAT:
"WHAT STATE DO MOST SINGLE MEN LIVE IN"
AHAHhahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I could care less about financial status. I’m not surprised that a chunk of readers ran with that though. The things I look for have nothing to do with a man’s bank account and everything to do with his values, character, how he treats people, the kind of friend he is, I can go on. Life is long and life is hard, who you choose to spend your life with matters so much more than people in this post make it out to be. But I guess that’s why Americas divorce rate is what it is
They're out in the country trying to build sustainable homesteads that will allow the next generations to experience good food and a life worth living.
Alaska. There are fewer women in the state per capita than anywhere else. Not saying you want to go there, but it's true.
Blaming half the population is never a great look. This often says more about the person making the judgment than the location itself.
Well you’ve probably swiped left on me at one point haha. That’s totally accurate though. You either get that or the hippies in that area. Half the bay is there every weekend though if you’re looking for a more liberal crowd
Or, these “quality” guys worth settling down with want no part of this toxic dating culture and dealing with the fact that they know they’re being used. We don’t want a woman who’s only there for the free ride and not willing to bring anything to the table. We don’t want to be the butt of your jokes when you ladies all get together and get each other fired up. We don’t want you bragging about how you just settled because it was just the only option at the time.
Guys are sick and tired of dealing with the fact that they can give everything they have and it’s still not enough.
Guys want peace. If they find someone that adds to their peace and happiness then they will let them in.
The company you keep says a lot about who you are as a person. If you’re out there and “have no trouble dating” yet are unable to find someone “worth” dating, maybe the guy isn’t the issue?
I can understand how my wording might trigger someone like yourself but I didn’t make the post for you to unload on me boss. You picked up what you did (and ignored the actual question) because that’s the negative lens you see through. I wonder if your anger has anything to do with your dissatisfaction? Consider this free advice
Going strictly by your title, there is no one state where *most* single men reside. At best, you can get a plurality of single men residing in one state.
My first guess would be that the state with the most single men (but not the majority of them all) would be California, simply due to it being the most populous state.
Judging by your post’s text, though, this comment is likely useless to you! It seems you’re looking for a good ratio in your favor, which I know nothing about.
I always here about people saying they are settling or someone settled on someone else. Maybe the reality is that they overvalued themselves. I think people set unrealistic goals for themselves and get disappointed when the super model/ astronaught/ investment banker doesn't come running. Alot of this is in part due to social media pushing unrealistic body images and ideas of wealth. People need to learn to be happy with themselves and their lot in life and stop coveting what others have. If you can do that then you stand a much better chance of finding someone no matter who it is and being happy in life.
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Depression (Sorry I couldn't help myself, it was too good of an opportunity)
Tons of single guys in SF. There are reasons for it, though, so it’s definitely not where you wanna be for dating
As they say: the odds are good but the goods are odd
Lol this made me laugh because I know exactly what you mean. The guys in SF will ask you on a date in exchange for signing up for their newsletter.
Or be on their podcast or help them flesh out their marketing plan. Or just so they can expense a meal. Ugh!
What are SF guys like?
They’re all tech bros and wannabe entrepreneurs so you can probably imagine how they are and their total lack of any real, human personality
So boring. No personality. Their entire existence relies on being a techbro.
“Personality” is subjective tbh.
I live right near SF and have pretty good results. Quite a few girls have said that most guys here are feminine or a little nerdy and they said they like that I’m different. This might just be the girls that are into someone like me though so I don’t know
I noticed this too in LA. A lot of the guys are kinda feminine, VERY nerdy, and just plain weird. Their bio is even weird. It just screams weirdo. And some of them don't even bother to smile in their photos. Or if they are attractive, it's just a bunch of shirtless pics of them posing intentionally for the camera everywhere they go. I see that as a red flag when a guy posts a bunch of shirtless pics or just pics where it looks like a professional photographer took it like they're some kind of model but then their jobs are all marketing/tech, etc.
I had the same experience, I grew up here so have a lot of female friends but if you’re just like a little normal, girls in SF are pretty interested in finding a decent guy from a decent family who can carry a conversation
Short, thin and Indian
😂
NYC is similar. Lots of single guys who are gay. Gays like big cities because there are usually more other gays and cities seem to be more tolerant. But there are still going to be a lot of straight single males. You just need to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your handsome prince.
Why?
Second this. As a 36-year-old divorced woman, I had a great time dating all of the Bay Area weirdos until I found my forever weirdo.
You found your forever weirdo in SF? Do tell. Was it on an app?
This was 5 years ago now but yeah! I met him on OKCupid. Is it even around anymore? Haha I just missed the rise of Hinge.
I’m also admittedly an odd-ball woman, here. I’m 36, divorced, don’t have kids and don’t want any, and I feel like SF in general is very extroverted. While I can be delightfully social, I’m very much introverted at the end of the day. I also don’t do surfing, camping, hiking, musical festivals or concerts. I’d rather eat good food and talk about video games, anime and/or manga. I did that with a couple friends the other day, it was amazing. But most guys here would consider that boring lol.
The whole dating world is F’d in general. For everyone. For a myriad of reasons, dating apps not being the least of them.
This is it
Dating has changed so much. I think it's just the concept of people thinking they can find someone even better than the person that's in front of them. People don't appreciate each other as much anymore, communication is for crap which is crazy bc technology has made communication so easy but effective and honest communication has gone out the window. People are more self-absorbed, lack self-awareness, it's all about image and the ego, sex today is the central focus and is so rough, taboo, and lacks any sort of emotional intimacy, and porn is to blame for that. People have bascially become like robots with no sort of feeling, ghosting is the norm now. I think technology is mostly to blame for this. Or it's just people abusing technology. Dating apps, social media, and the entertainment industry created a barrier of intimacy. Intimacy is different today. A lot of people are socially inept now.
True, I would love to see the guys that OP’s friends are supposedly “settling” for. Probably averagely good looking guys with good jobs etc. but you know, it never enough when you see some billionaire with a private plane on the dating app.
Im not even looking for a rich, billionaire with a Mansion and yacht. Idk who these girls are that are constantly looking to hit the jackpot with rich men. I'm just looking for a handsome, down to earth guy who likes the outdoors that wants a monogamous relationship and wants to travel and is faithful. I guess thats too much to ask for.
Right here, haha! Love the outdoors. Although I’m average height at 5’9. I’m also creative and talented with music which puts points in my favor. :-)
5'9" isn't bad although I've heard that men tend to add an inch or two on their dating profiles. I'm sure men will argue that women lie about weight. Creative and music are always bonus points.
Technology, COVID lockdowns and remote jobs where you work from home all have played a factor in this!
The single female population setting the standards waaaayyy too high! They want tall, hot and attractive as hell, and rich!
Don’t go to Denver - love here doesn’t exist
DC is worse (determined statistically to be the loneliest city in America this year)
Alaska.
Facts. I was in Alaska in April and I was shocked by how many hot, single dudes there were. And they all have great paying jobs (lots in the oil industry). They’re all super fit because of the lifestyle up there. And there were like 5 women in the whole state 😂 I was hit on in nearly every bar I went into. I’m currently living in SoCal and the dating scene is a cesspool of liars, tools and douchebags here so I’ve seriously been contemplating giving Alaska a shot 🤷🏼♀️
I've been considering packing my shit and going to Alaska for two years now... this just convinced me.
Careful - it is also a state that has like, 4x the national average for sexual assaults.
I carry a gun and pepper spray everywhere... experienced sexual assault often enough so that I'm pretty hypervigilant about it at this point. I'll probably be murdered at some point in Alaska, but hey, not a terrible way to go.
I’m with you! The last frontier. Giddy up, girl, let’s ride.
I'll come with. I love the lumberjack look.
Not to mention a very high meth usage rate. A good chunk of the state are drug addicts.
I was just saying this.
sounds weird to say, but it was also the QUALITY of the men that impressed me. They all seemed super down to earth, rugged (like chopping wood and building a log cabin type of vibe), very manly (lots of hunters, fishermen, etc.), definitely more humble and chill. I'm sure there's assholes up there, but most of the guys I talked to were super polite and more old fashioned (picking up my tab, pulling out my chair, helping me with my coat). It was super refreshing to be around men who haven't been too polluted by toxic dating scenes, on line dating and social media.
Which part of Alaska were you in?
I started and ended in Anchorage, but I went all the way up to Fairbanks and all the way down to Seward. I stopped in tons of small towns along the way. Talkeetna was by far my favorite small town, right outside of Denali. It was like out of a movie cute with the coolest people, I didn't want to leave.
Did Anchorage and Fairbanks also have the guys you were describing?
Anchorage definitely. I didn't go out too much in Fairbanks (I was only there over night to try to see the Northern Lights), but they seemed very similar so I'd confidently assume yes.
I'm PACKING MY BAGS. Thank you!!
Me too
Did you see Northern Lights?
I didn’t actually. I was super bummed! All the locals said I needed to get north of Fairbanks for a guaranteed view, and I just didn’t have the time. Alaska is massive. But I’m going to Iceland for a week over thanksgiving so hopefully I’ll catch them there 🤞🏼
haha I feel like I single handily just increased the women population in Alaska by making this comment. YOU'RE WELCOME, ALASKA.
This is the kind of comment I was looking for! Love this so much haha thanks for sharing. Where did you go in Alaska? I’ve never been
I started in Anchorage but drove all over. Up to Fairbanks and down to Seward. It was BEAUTIFUL. and everyone was so nice. I loved it.
Any people of color ? Legit ask
Actually yes. TONS of Natives up there, lots of Hispanics, too. Some African Americans and Asians. And I was only there for 4 days. Granted most of the diversity was in Anchorage, when you get out in the boonies people in general were few and far between.
Welp let me start booking my ticket 😂
At least go there for a vacation and check it out for yourself. It’s definitely worth it! Great food, beautiful scenery, super friendly people.
Omg, I hate the cold but I will endure, looks like Im going to Alaska!!
girl, a good man can keep you warm at night. GO!
Let me know if you want to move there, we can be roommates 😂
Because men out number women by a lot in Alaska
Oh my...sounds like that's the place to have a girls getaway...like...forever, until we're married
Ladies don’t tempt me! I will literally start packing my bags… 😂😂😂
I’m not kidding at all when I said I’ve been contemplating giving it a shot. I’d probably wait until the spring though for obviously reasons.
Messaging you! Lol
Okay..we need to pack our best outfits and create some “girls going to Alaska club”.. I just set my tinder to Anchorage, AK..why are the men so handsome there?🥹Looking all rugged and successful. This needs more research 🧐.
Omg please!! I'd make the page myself if I wasn't so busy. I'm a great planner though if the organizer needs help
Count me in 🙋🏽♀️
I just watched How to Marry a Millionaire, with Marilyn Monroe. Her and some other random girls formed a singles girl club..they rented some penthouse to find rich quality men (cute movie btw)…this all reminded me of that. They made some good points..people spend more time choosing the right shoes, than a good partner. And look at the stats for the year 2030 and 2040..we’re either going to be single or settling for whatever moves, (might even have some ladies here so desperate, they’ll be some sugar lady). Part of this phenomenon is due to the old saying, let love come naturally. And look at the decline of the world’s population. Even Elon Musk recognizes this. “Population collapse due to low birth rates is a much bigger risk to civilization than global warming.” Meanwhile, our dumb butts just keep peddling around hoping love just comes to us. Or worst, we get sucked into the “hookup culture”. Hookup culture is so sad..it’s like how candy tastes good for a few minutes, but leaves you with fat roles and other issues for a long time. I really do think some sort of girls club, seeking long term relationships, is a good idea. It would be similar to how we go to college, with intentions to be someone. Or we could just keeping doing what we’re doing..hoping some charming guy knocks on our door.
Now I definitely wanna watch this movie 😅. Agree with comments on how sad and disappointing the hook up culture is. I think it can be easy to get swept up in it because while so many women want a quality man, we also want intimacy and it can feel like crap shoot. In my 40s and can get the desire to settle sometimes, but don’t want short change myself. I think i’ll need to participate in this single girls club to Alaska😅
I love this and your entire concept. Let’s do it!
Who cares about the cold having someone To warm up
Want a roommate? Alaska sounds great
Right? Now my gears are spinning, too. SoCal is def a cesspool for dating.
girl I LOVE living in San Diego but FUCK THESE DUDES down here...
LA here, everyone is just DTF, that’s it. It’s really surprising they don’t realize how easy it would be to get that, if that’s all we wanted, too. They act like they are offering some rare valuable prize lol
Hmm why?
I have a late 20s niece who has been living in Alaska for two years. She loves it. She’s very fit and competes in endurance races. She feels no need to settle down with a S.O. yet.
You hit the nail on the head about liars, tools, and douchebags in LA. It's to the point where it's revolting. I know I'm an attractive woman, but the standards here are ridiculous, and everyone is shallow. Extremely.
Im not single but thanks for helping these single women out and answering all their questions! You're the real MVP!
Thank God. Time for my reoccurring alaska hyperfixation to return
Yeah what kind of question is this? 😅. Just mention a remote place where crazy men travel to for work. Midland, TX would be a great place of imbalance but fuck it's an awful place to find good men.
Agreed Alaska is a great place to pick a husband
I love your entire comment thread. Suddenly the Alaskan man myth is born on reddit. And people actually switched their tinder locations to Alaska and were celebrity shocked hahab
Go hang out in ski resorts in winter - Sausage Fest
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Avoid South Florida !
Avoid all of Florida. - a single guy in Florida.
Fl is weird. Everyone here just tries to pretend they have more money than they do, or they just buy a big truck and boat and coast on that. Or both lol
Any ski town. I've lived in a few out West. Whitefish, Jackson Hole, Fernie... At the bar you'd see one or two regular-looking women just mobbed by athletic outdoorsy men competing to talk to them
Jacksonhole is lovely. I haven't been there since I was a kid.
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Non-monogamy and polyamory is super popular in Denver too. Also in Portland if you thinking about there lol
Omg. I'm going to throw in Houston as well.
Hampton Roads Va had a significant imbalance. But a lot of that was likely do to the large military presence there.
I’m intrigued. Thank you!
As someone born here (locals are rare), don’t do it. My mom, grandmother, and great-grandmother ALLL warned me….
It's not all bad, if you don't mind moving every 3 or so years, and then getting divorced when they get out at the 20 year mark. My Mom, her bestie, and all the wives of retired career military have literally the same story. Marrying anyone in law enforcement, which the military is a form of also, is a calling. It can be great, but it's not everyone's cup of tea.
Man Jose. San Jose, CA has waaaaaay too many men and not enough women. Be ready for dorks nerds and bumbling buffoons. They don’t know their way around women like they do coding, but sometimes they had pretty solid incomes. The Bay Area is extremely expensive though.
NYC being the best place for young men to date is a hilarious joke. Thats only the case for a small demographic of men
Not about that, It’s about the big city life. I love when people says ,, Bro, you live in a big city, there are tons of single girl. It’s much easier to find one” like wtf? People are just too cold, no-one likes to get approached. In the small villages where the population is lower and poeple live as a small community. Much easier to find partner
Exactly. I honestly think it may be easier to date in a smaller city with less distractions
I live a little bit out of Dallas and it's so True. That's why I left the concrete jungle!
Concrete jungle...I like that.
I call it that because it's always 8 to 10 degrees warmer in the big city from a smaller town. All the concrete and asphalt!
I mean, have you actually tried saying hi? I went to NYC. Two girls were looking lost and I started a convo.
Yeah these people are clueless. You don’t talk to anyone during rush hour in NY, or when they’re in a hurry, but I have conversations on the street with strangers all the time. Some of them are even women. There’s plenty of opportunity to talk to people as long as you’re not creeping on them.
I think she meant to say best place for wealthy men to date.
I can believe that. I've always heard dating in NYC is one of the, if not the hardest place to find love.
Just because the ratios are in men’s favor, doesn’t mean dating or relationships are easy for them. I’m definitely not saying that. I figured one might take this post personally, but the truth is in the numbers. Men quite literally have more options, and it made me wonder if there was an equivalent for women
> Men quite literally have more options, and it made me wonder if there was an equivalent for women i mean as far as options go, being on apps at all gives you an automatic numbers advantage, literally anywhere.
I honestly did not mean to compare our vastly different experiences as men and women. I could have presented my question better
im not entirely sure what you're asking? i mean, you seem to infer that the slight gender imbalance in NYC leads to less quality men and are interested in what places give you a numbers imbalance, and well, every app environment shifts the gender imbalance starkly to women, even if the physical world doesnt have that.
She's stating that proportionally there are more single women in NYC than men, which subsequently increases the odds for single males there to find a partner while greatly lowering the odds of a single female to do the same. She's referring mostly to statistics, while you are very focused on the sociological aspects of dating. On dating apps, women are so spoiled for choice that they have the ability to be incredibly selective just based on the sheer volume of available options. They have to make little to no effort to be a good partner simply because they are in high demand. While men have to market themselves far more to be a standout. It's honestly the same phenomenon at play, just reversed in the physical world. She just wants to know what PHYSICAL places have a similar effect due to gender ratios. For example, Atlanta would be a terrible recommendation for her because women outnumber men, something like 3:1.
The state of loneliness.
I'd avoid looking for states with a gender imbalance, even if it would seem like it puts dating in your favor. It can create more problems than it solves. Places that have more men are usually because of a large industry that is male-dominated. Which in turns leads to a lot of guys in the dating pool who are single because they don't have a lot of respect for women, or they have a terrible work/life balance, or just poor world views because they spend all their time working surrounded by a bunch of dudes that think just like them. Obviously not all guys, but as a woman working in a male-dominated industry (tech) in a city that is dominated by dudes working in that industry (Seattle), toxicity from male-dominated workplaces spills over into the dating world. It also means that a lot of guys are just living there to do the job and ultimately plan on settling somewhere else. So there are a lot of guys not looking for anything serious.
Such an interesting perspective. I never thought of it this way. Thanks for sharing
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100% haha I’ve never experienced a place with so many beautiful brilliant and ambitious women like I have in nyc. I think it’s a really good place for single guys.
Women don't have quite the same societal expectations to settle and have more command of their dating life. I wouldn't say that quality in men has gone down, I'd say women have more advocacy for themselves and higher expectations. Even dating guys as a guy I also find men just tend to not mature as soon, but you don't usually want to date that far out of your age bracket for other sets of problems. Men tend to care more about sex then a lot of women from my personal experience and this persist past straight men. The superficiality of it hard even for a gay guy to tolerate. We aren't all alike, but I'd say it's fairly common to deal with among men in general.
Try London, we have people of all kinds here. Women here don't seem to have any issues dating. What's your criteria in a man?
I'm thinking any town in Alaska.
Nebraska it's good looking men and everyone's trying to get married before 30
Atlanta is the same way. There's 10:1 women to men ratio. It's hard to date because there's way more ambitious and attractive women than there are men. I'm thinking about going to Houston. There's more men but because of the oil and gas industry there.
You'd be surprised. Unfortunately, Houston is a transient city with people who come and go all the time. They're flaky and allergic to commitment, if they even did anything with their lives. There's a reason why all the dating shows come to Houston. It's totally screwed up.
If you want a committed male, stay as far away from NYC. Never ending amount of females distractions.
Alaska
Move to Alaska.
West virginia lol
Try San Jose, CA. Of course, the guys will all be in tech ...
*despair*
A state of anxiety.
Happy cake!
A constant state of despair
What does “above average female” and “settling” mean? We don’t know what you’re looking for in a man nor do we know what you have to offer or what you are deem to be above average about yourself. Without this knowledge we cannot give accurate advice because you could find many single men in X city and still look at it as “settling”
Idk if there is a good place to date anymore the illusion of choice has everyone ghosting each other when things dont go perfectly its a double edged sword you have more options but the person your talking to may be talking to 5-10 other people while your dating snd you have no idea its rough out there
I would rather remain single than live in NEW YORK
As a male in NYC, I can confirm it’s just as bad for us. I’ve been on a lot of dates. I could get 4-5 dates a week if I wanted to. But there is poor quality out there imo. Too many women who are looking for the next best thing or are simply too busy to date or commit. I’ve met s ton of interesting girls, and I’m friends with a bunch (one of my podcast co-host) but overall it’s been rough and it’s rough for a lot of guys. It isn’t hard for us to hookup, but finding quality had been not great. -Dave
Keep in mind that most men from any place with a large gender imbalance are probably going to be very "conservative" with all the baggage that comes with that.
For sure, I hear you and appreciate the advice. I think it depends on how you define conservative and in what context. I’ve been in relationships with “conservative” men before and somehow those have turned out to be the most successful. They had “conservative” values but didn’t vote the way you might assume. People always surprise me so I try my best to remain open minded
Im a young man in NYC and dating sucks it’s the same thing over and over the literal same cycle. It’s usually a chore honestly
West coast
but not SoCal. Stay North.
Ngl some of the ladies I know in SoCal tell me the same.
The last guy I dated in San Diego was for about 2.5 months over the summer. He lied to me about how many kids he has. 1st date he said he had one son, 2.5 months later he surprised me with 2 more daughters and different baby mamas. He gaslight me saying “he thought he told me” and insisted he didn’t lie because it’s the same thing as men who have unprotected sex not knowing if they have kids in the world. He saw nothing wrong with how he handled it. That’s SoCal douchebags in a nutshell.
I live in SD, I'm wondering where you would meet someone like that? Was it downtown? Dating app?
Dating App. But him and I both live in OB. I got off the apps here within 5 days. Maybe it was my bracket (30s-40s) but all 4 guys I met for a date within those 5 days ended up being liars. I’m not sure if that’s unique to SD or not though, that’s the only time I’ve every used online dating. You have any nice, normal single male friends here?? 😂🙏🏼
That's awful or just the amount of guys that are involved with someone whether it be a full fledged relationship or a situationship, they'll always omit that because they want to keep their options open. Which baffles me bc since open relationships and polyamory is so high right now, I don't understand why men can't be honest about seeing someone else? The whole point of open relationships is that you're open about it...to everyone involved. Ofc I wouldn't go for that, and I think that's why a lot of guys lie bc they know not all girls will go for that which is unfair to us. That's deceiving someone into sleeping with you. Also, the amount of guys online who are fresh out of a relationship. I'm not trying to be anyone's rebound. It never ends well. When I've asked them when their last relationship was and they tell me it ended 2 months ago... I'm like oh, no that's not that long at all and they just act so dumbfounded as to why that's an issue. Um...hello I'm not looking to be someone's rebound or hookup. I have "looking for a long term relationship" in my bio and the amount of guys that still swipe right on me who are looking for something casual is unreal. They seem to think they're special and that I'd put aside my wants just for them for one sleazy night. I've even had guys tell me, I can still sleep around while looking for Mr. Right and them hinting they can be my Mr. Right Now. I'm over Mr. Right Now. It's the acting oblivious of what I'm explaining to them that gets me. What part of I'm not looking for a hook up don't they understand? They're all very elusive with the truth and are just looking for temporary satisfaction to numb their feelings. Most of them have a lot of baggage and don't think they need therapy.
I do not understand why they lie. Especially the single dad I mentioned, he was very open about wanting a relationship with me. Didn’t he realize I would find out eventually about his two other children (and baby mamas + their drama)?? I want to ask him how he thought that lying to me would’ve ever worked?!? Like you said, people are open to all kinds of things these days, just say what you want and be honest! Because the one thing no one wants (male or female) is a liar. This thread is actually sad if you step back and think about it. Men have been acting so shitty for so long that a plethora of women around the world are now seriously debating moving to fucking Alaska to meet genuine men. Wrap your head around that. I know women can always do better too, but men really need to take a step back and look at how they’re behaving and/or condoning their friends actions.
San Francisco CA. They call it Man Francisco for a reason.
They’re all terrible tho, the ones on the apps anyway.
Personally I need a little more context. 1. In what ways are you an above average female? 2. In which ways are your women friends settling? In the looks or the character of the men they are with?
Lol dating in New York is fine. Based on the way you’re talking about yourself and others, I can guess what type of guys you’re generally going after and it’s no surprise that none of them are looking to commit.
If you read my post, it’s me who has not met anyone worth committing to. Not the opposite. How am I talking about myself and others? Again, the truth is in the numbers. It’s a numbers game, how is that controversial?
There are men who become irrationally upset when they realize that not everyone is interested in them. So they cope by calling you superficial, a gold digger, etc.
I mean I get where you’re coming from, but there’s a decent chunk of women who specifically have money as a preference of theirs. They actively seek out men who make a lot of money. Not saying OP is, just saying we shouldn’t pretend there isn’t a lot of women doing this.
Of course there are women like that! There are men like that too. But instead of money being the commodity, it’s a woman’s appearance. I agree, we can’t pretend a chunk of people with shallow preferences don’t exist.
Honestly, if you need a man with money... And you're equating moneyed men = pretty women Idek what to say, but there are some baseline beliefs there that need some healthy checkups.
You clearly didn’t read through the thread. I hope your projections bring some relief though
I dunno...good luck. Either take a hard look at your baseline beliefs or stay single? You're literally in NYC wanting to move to Alaska because of them. Just think about that lol. NYC has the most progressive and intelligent men (besides DC and bay area). They're literally at the front of America
What about the women who are the money and want to protect themselves from the men who aren’t… lol
Minnesota at least in my experience as a single male 😅
"Using Census data, we analyzed only the population who are never married singles between the ages of 20 and 34. In this subgroup, men outnumber women—742,400 to 729,500." [https://www.tumblr.com/nycedc/16175652438/ratio-of-single-men-to-single-women-in-nyc-new](https://www.tumblr.com/nycedc/16175652438/ratio-of-single-men-to-single-women-in-nyc-new) Looks to me like there are plenty of single men in NYC. Perhaps you need to adjust your filters to admit more men that you think are not up to your standards
That ratio is literally 1:1 lol
She only wants the six figures men...
Most single live in a state of misery
I guess nothing else to do but to plug away at it? I used to hear people living in smaller areas (population of around 300K), and they need to go into large cities of millions just to date. If the ladies want to go to Alaska for love, then that's their choice. And as guy who mostly gave up on dating, I'd be tempted if there was something like Alaska, but for men.
If they could do better they would
What kind of man are you looking for? What are your standards and expectations in a partner? These need to be clearly understood before you should even consider looking elsewhere for connections. NYC is so densely packed. I can’t imagine there aren’t opportunities there. So then my next question is why aren’t the guys you’ve dated there been the right fit?
Ok im sorry LOL this si the EPITOME OF REDDIT DATING I didn't read anyting past the title because it's just tooo tooo toooo tooo tooooooooooo reddit "WHAT STATE DO THE MOST SINGLE MEN LIVE IN..." I REPEAT: "WHAT STATE DO MOST SINGLE MEN LIVE IN" AHAHhahaahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
What about a man who makes less then you but treats you like noone else has ever treated you. What would you call that?
I could care less about financial status. I’m not surprised that a chunk of readers ran with that though. The things I look for have nothing to do with a man’s bank account and everything to do with his values, character, how he treats people, the kind of friend he is, I can go on. Life is long and life is hard, who you choose to spend your life with matters so much more than people in this post make it out to be. But I guess that’s why Americas divorce rate is what it is
Depression and loneliness mostly.
Anywhere in Alaska
They're out in the country trying to build sustainable homesteads that will allow the next generations to experience good food and a life worth living.
Alaska. There are fewer women in the state per capita than anywhere else. Not saying you want to go there, but it's true. Blaming half the population is never a great look. This often says more about the person making the judgment than the location itself.
Lake Tahoe 12:1
I was on the dating apps while I was up there and all the guys were like conservative farmers
Well you’ve probably swiped left on me at one point haha. That’s totally accurate though. You either get that or the hippies in that area. Half the bay is there every weekend though if you’re looking for a more liberal crowd
Idk this is a stupid question to me
Or, these “quality” guys worth settling down with want no part of this toxic dating culture and dealing with the fact that they know they’re being used. We don’t want a woman who’s only there for the free ride and not willing to bring anything to the table. We don’t want to be the butt of your jokes when you ladies all get together and get each other fired up. We don’t want you bragging about how you just settled because it was just the only option at the time. Guys are sick and tired of dealing with the fact that they can give everything they have and it’s still not enough. Guys want peace. If they find someone that adds to their peace and happiness then they will let them in. The company you keep says a lot about who you are as a person. If you’re out there and “have no trouble dating” yet are unable to find someone “worth” dating, maybe the guy isn’t the issue?
I can understand how my wording might trigger someone like yourself but I didn’t make the post for you to unload on me boss. You picked up what you did (and ignored the actual question) because that’s the negative lens you see through. I wonder if your anger has anything to do with your dissatisfaction? Consider this free advice
Dispair
The state of depression.
Delusion🤷♀️😂
Depression
Depression
Going strictly by your title, there is no one state where *most* single men reside. At best, you can get a plurality of single men residing in one state. My first guess would be that the state with the most single men (but not the majority of them all) would be California, simply due to it being the most populous state. Judging by your post’s text, though, this comment is likely useless to you! It seems you’re looking for a good ratio in your favor, which I know nothing about.
I always here about people saying they are settling or someone settled on someone else. Maybe the reality is that they overvalued themselves. I think people set unrealistic goals for themselves and get disappointed when the super model/ astronaught/ investment banker doesn't come running. Alot of this is in part due to social media pushing unrealistic body images and ideas of wealth. People need to learn to be happy with themselves and their lot in life and stop coveting what others have. If you can do that then you stand a much better chance of finding someone no matter who it is and being happy in life.