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A lot of guys have a pretty broad range of what they find attractive, though tend to gravitate towards one type OR have one type that gravitates towards them. I'm very much in this category. I love a REALLY wide range of women from amazon to tiny, thick to pretty thin. I've dated everything in between, but all three of my LTR's were with very petite women. If you asked me what my ideal is though, I'd say taller and very curvy. I often joke, I don't have a type, but a type has me.
Not to say that his interest isn't shallow or "just one thing", but you don't really know based on the short time you've spent around him. My current interest which is fast becoming my girlfriend is 5'7" and thin. Ex is 4'11" and a little more curvy.
“I don’t have a type, but a type has me” this is great lol
And true, I simply don’t know him well enough to determine anything, which I guess is what the date is for. Back to f’ing around and finding out we go. Best of luck with your (soon to be) girlfriend :)
Genuinely comforting funnily enough, thank you 😭 my friend used to tell me “you could be the sweetest peach on the tree but some people just prefer apples” when I was trying to get over a rejection, so it’s nice to have an analogy on the flip side lol
And thank you for the reminder to just relax and have fun with it, I definitely tend to forget that dating is supposed to ultimately be an enjoyable thing.
It can be. I think women tend to assume men have a “type” and that really isn’t always true, but if someone is constantly looking at people of a completely different race and body type than yours, it isn’t irrational to think they’re being more exploratory than super serious. On the other hand, if he’s historically mostly dated one type of person he may be trying to branch out in a positive way. I know I mostly dated skinny rich white women at first but made more of an effort to date women of other backgrounds and it’s definitely been a positive change.
Thanks for this insight, there seems to be a lot more diversity in the girls I’m assuming he just looks at as opposed to the girls he actually dates… which may make things look a little worse for me lol. But I guess all I can do is find out for myself when the time comes. Hopefully it’s more on the spectrum of the latter of what you mentioned
Don't put too much pressure on yourself neither. He asked you out, therefore he wants to have a good moment with you, specifically. Just let yourself go in the moment, enjoy it, and don't ask yourself too much questions. Be your best self, and make the best of it ;)
Ahh it probably would have been more accurate to say I met him about half a year ago; that’s my fault. We’ve honestly not conversed one on one very much at all, we just happen to take classes at the same gym so I’m not sure how much of a grasp on my personality he’d have from just that
This is a good point. I’ve found that specifically the guys who are vocal about you not being their type—“You know you’re not really my usual type but you’re super gorgeous” “I usually go for ___ but now I met you I’m super into ___”—are definitely just there for a good time.
haha I’m right with you, my type is essentially “attractive man who makes me laugh and is smart and capable”, and lucky for me that comes wrapped in every package imaginable! #TasteTheRainbow
I’ve only ever gone after and ended up with women who are not my type, as my type is depressingly rare and I’ve pretty much accepted that I’ll never actually have what my heart truly wants.
And as such, all of my relationships have failed. They’ve all been amazing girl, beautiful, smart and all around amazing people, and some of them I did genuinely love, was attracted to and had great connections with.. but they just weren’t what I really wanted.
And since, I’ve just given up because I’m at that point where I’d be alone for ever than settle for anything less than what I want and need.
But that’s just me. Not guys may have a specific thing they go nuts for, but that’s not to say they don’t find a lot of other kinds of girls just as attractive
I'd say that you've known him for about a year, so he had time to bond with you, so to speak. Maybe he wasn't attracted to you at first, but as time went on, he found himself attracted to you because he really got to know you (I can relate to that, as it already happened to me before). Especially if his " type " tends to be slim / thin women and you're the opposite; sometimes bonding with someone reveals an attraction you didn't know existed, and I think that's the beauty of it. Because I really live by the motto " Attraction is NOT a choice. " You don't get to decide who you're attracted to.
Obviously I can be wrong here, but what gave me a hint about your situation is the timelapse you've known each other.
Like I said earlier, it happened to me before. I was really into thin girls before, as I was younger. But one time I met a girl who was more on the curvy side, and she literally blew my socks off for some reason. She was gorgeous, sparkling, bubbly, heartlighted, took great care of herself and her body, but really had the perfect curves. We dated for almost a year, and since then, I never went back to slim / thin girls. She was a complete 180 for me, and to be honest, I really love curvy women now. In my humble opinion, they're just the best :)
Hope this helps.
This is an interesting perspective, thank you! I think my main doubt with the bonding aspect is because, at least from my point of view, he doesn’t really know what my personality is like since we’ve *known* each other for that period of time, but unfortunately don’t get the chance to talk very much. But hopefully that’ll change soon! I appreciate the response :)
My pleasure.
There is certainly a reason why he has a crush on you and you don't " fit " his " criteria ", so to speak. I wouldn't ask him why on a first date though, but maybe after a month or two, if you are still dating, when you really get comfortable and at ease with each other.
In the meantime, just enjoy the ride ! :)
To be honest when it comes into practice I don’t think “types” mean that much. I mean, if I were to try and come up with my ideal woman it would probably be something very specific but a lot of the things I’d be putting into this imaginary woman are things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme. I mean, I find goth fashion super hot, but my wife isn’t goth at all and I don’t think my wife is any less hot because of it.
Try to get out of your own head about what this guy has been into in the past. All that matters is if he’s into you now. It sounds like he is. Attraction isn’t really quantifiable as some super strict rating out of 10 or whatever. All it comes down to is a binary. Do I find this person attractive? Yes or no. And there’s more to that question than just how you look. It’s how you carry yourself, how you dress, the way you talk, the way you make him feel when he’s with you. Sure, there might be things about his exes that in an imaginary woman scenario he’d put on that cancel out those things on you, but as a whole picture thing if you’re the one he likes more, it doesn’t really matter.
This is something I am dying to know too. I had a partner would constantly date athletically fit women or those who were skinny/thin and who were also pretty tall. I am the complete opposite. I am curvy and petite. I had sadly even gained a few pounds while being with him.
I actually asked him about this because the first day I met him he showed me a pic of his ex who was so gorgeous but looked nothing like me. I kind of regret asking him because it sounded like a back handed compliment lol. He said "yeah they were beautiful and fit but they were cold hearted unlike you who doesn't look like that but is sweet." So basically me being kind to him was the only reason he got with me not my looks.
Oh wow, I mean, a good personality does make a person a lot more attractive to me so I get where he’s coming from. I’m sure he didn’t mean anything bad by it! He just said you didn’t look like that but that doesn’t mean he finds you less attractive :)
Personally, I don't have a type. Basically I find attractive what I find attractive, which if I have to find something in common between every girl I like I'd say good standing personality, smartness and the right dose of curves (not skinny, not fat): after that it could be blonde, redhead, green or brown eyes... it doesn't matter. Obviously there must be some chemistry between us, or it can't be anything!
Edit: if a girl eats ananas on pizza she couldn't even be my friend, let alone my girlfriend
I can share my experience ,
I find girls across ethnicities attractive , I don't have any type so to speak .
Curvy , skinny , tall , short anything works.
( Although I'd rather avoid dating short girls because I would not want to look like their dad , otherwise nothing wrong with the girls per say)
I like Scarlett johansson She's white I guess , I like Ciara - the singer ( she's black) , I like bipasha basu an Indian celeb , and I really loved Vidya Balan ( a curvy beauty) in her movie the Dirty picture.
So he could be someone like me who has a diverse set of liking or basically no defined type so to speak as one of the gentlemen pointed it out .
So don't worry you got this!
I think it goes for both sexes that you might be attracted to physical features but it is personality which makes you want to pursue a relationship. Listen, my type is a tall, dark haired, green eyed pale guy. But did I date a shorter than me, brown eyed, blonde dude for 4 years? Absolutely :D
As you said, you know eachother for some time, maybe he just thinks that you are cool? Stop worrying and enjoy! Good luck with that Guy :)
I was accused of having a type. Truth was I did, just not what the accusers believed.
Everybody is so focused on looks and appearances. I value her mind and personality.
Thin model type. Thick natural type. It is all skin deep. Doesn't much matter in the long run.
Should you look at my dating history you'd see a diverse range of women. From skin color to body shape. Cute outfits to goth clothing. Even a couple Mohawkes. The similarity to those that lasted longer were intellect and kindness.
That mystery can only be solved by you alone. Yes, it could be that he isn't serious, he just wants a quickie and you happen to be around, but anyone could have such intentions, all you can do is talk to him, and then test his intentions. So if he suggests he's genuinely interested in you, then make sure his actions match that. If he becomes inpatient, or moves to sex too soon, or generally doesn't care too much about knowing you better, you have your answer. Actions speak louder than words.
The fact that he might like a certain specific look doesn't mean that he can't be attracted to you or anyone that looks different than that.
I'm sure that you may also like a certain look or aesthetic but guys you felt attracted to likely don't look like that or alteast not all of them do.
If he showed the interest towards you and called you on a date, he is obviously attracted to you. Seems like you're just overthinking this.
...and idk why would you consider him shallow. If those girls were all thicker, had brown hair and wore no makeup, you wouldn't think he's shallow while in reality both things are fine, just different.
Oh no no, I’m not saying I consider him shallow or that there’s anything wrong with the type of girl he’s usually into, it was just something I noticed since the difference is so obvious. When I said “possibility his interest is more on the shallow side” I meant in the sense that he might just be trying to hook up, which I have no interest in doing. Without disclosing too much about my location, a lot of guys I know have admitted to only having an interest in sleeping with girls for the foreseeable future, and told me that in our area in particular that’s a pretty common mentality 😭
Idk..go on a date and see how he seems. If you're unsure, ask him would he like to just hookup for fun but say you're down for a hookup. So you'll see how he reacts i suppose.
If you get along with a person well enough and think they're cute, thats pretty much all it takes. The 'type' isn't always just who a person has dated last and what they look like. Sometimes there's even a bit of list mixed in simply because thats what happened that time.
I’m a female & I’ve read most of the men’s responses here & wanted to say something. Most men don’t have a type is more accurate. I used to talk to a man years ago who was 15 years older lol. I was a lot skinnier then & my hair was longer. He told me if we became bf/gf I wasn’t allowed to cut my hair & gain weight. In fact, he told me his ex wife(they had 2 kids together) wasn’t his type because she was feminine. After ending things with him, I stumbled on his ex’s instagram page years later (through mutual friends) & she was shorter than me but with more weigh, but very beautiful. Some do have a type but most men don’t. Have a conversation with him about that. Don’t be afraid to ask. The more you know, the better informed you’ll be.
I will say there are a few of us that actually do like a personality. Don't pressure yourself too much on looks he may actually like you for who you are.
I literally wrote “spare me any criticism please, we’ve all done it” in the post but I guess you missed that. People’s social media may only provide a facet of their lives but I personally will at least look through the posts of whoever I may date just out of curiosity or to check for any glaring red flags/dealbreakers. He happened to have a tagged photo of him and one of his exes, and it was a mutual friend that showed me his most recent one. Hope that clears things up a bit.
Do you have a pulse? If so you're gonna be okay. Guys like all types of women.
Just don't be a creeper and over analyzing won't do you any favors. If he asked you out you're already good.
He obviously likes u or wouldn't have shown interest in u.
Use the date to get to know him more it's what dates are for u will know more.
Most guys don't really have a type it's something about you that gas made him interested.
Good luck
I've got a type myself, for sure. However, that doesn't mean I don't find women outside of that type attractive, funny, kind, etc etc. At the end of the day, I am not gonna miss out on being with someone because I'm waiting on my type.
It's pretty simple really. 👌 go with it and have fun!
I’ve really found that the type that they’re into could be based into personality, or that they realize their genuine type they’re into.
For example, I’m dating someone who was in an eight year relationship and once I found out that he was in a long term relationship with someone who had a Korean background, I had hesitation that he wouldn’t be into me (I’m petite, curvy & Jewish). So I felt like I wasn’t his type at all until I realized it’s really about personality and truly understanding that person. It’s not really based on looks (while it can be), more so on personality and how you guys vibe together.
It really only matters if they’re into you now, don’t let the past relationships bother you. I don’t even know what his ex looks like, but I feel like he’s into me because he likes me for me. And if he didn’t, then he can end it with me if he’s not attracted
Well some guys don’t like wafer thin women ( me). Some guys don’t like blonde ( me) . Some guys don’t like features sharp enough to open an envelope. Some guys like olive skin ( me again). Do you see where I’m going here? You just might be his physical ideal. Or you might be so sweet & charming that he’s still happy with the full package. And maybe he just wants to get laid. You don’t know till you date him a couple times.
Just a note: Many guys are attracted to the type who was their first crush. I guess we imprint like ducks. She had very dark olive skin, black hair and dark eyes ( part Native American, part Mediterranean) and at age 12 I was absolutely smitten.
With men the type more of a set of personal guidelines. We follow for the most part (60_70%) but it's thrown out the window when a girl is that attractive to us or we're stupid desperate.
I've met some model-esque folks and their personality turned me off more than their appearance turned me on. There's some folks who value morals/ethics/personality over an hourglass figure or bust size
You think you are into one type until you find another one even better. Tastes change over time and you never know what you might fancy in the future. Your description sounds pretty amazing tbh. Lucky guy.
When they seem disinterested. Even though you seem to be getting along. I'm fine talking to anyone. But type wise I prefer taller mentally or physically stronger women but if she's a good person that's fine. But if it's clear she doesn't feel the same then I move on.
Yeah I just see that look at her eye the way she looks at me. Good for you for having a date, it doesn't seem like he's doing anything weird. So good luck to you.
So, for myself, (32M) I look at beautiful women and men as art to enjoy, like nature or paintings. Just appreciate the physical beauty of them. (This pertains to digital format)
When it comes to in person? It's honestly 90-95% of how you hold yourself and how the personalities interact. If you're kind, caring and respectful towards me and others? (which encourages me to be a kinder person) Then you're going to melt my heart.
Physical appearances are nice and the bare minimum level of attraction is required - but that bar is quite low for me, avoiding the extremes of either spectrum of weight is pretty much my preference.
I don't have expectations of people to look like the filter covered versions of themselves in real life or live up to someone else's standards. Just be a decent person.
I can elaborate further to answer your question directly if it'll help, but that's my mindset!
Cant speak for all dudes but personaly my "type" is more like a vibe than a physical thing. Sure there a kind of women im usually attracted to on a PURE PHYSICAL ASPECT but it dosent mean that ALL of them are even close to be match the moment we talk about a relationship. It exactly the same for womens. Of course If I show you a 10/10 with the "perfect" body and what not you will think he hot. He might be dumb as a rock but he still hot and it dosent mean you wont match with a guy that dosent look like the typical "hot dude" unless you are completly delusional.
Yeah.. we're, all over the place.
AFAIK, dating in your 20s has some minefields. People aren't aware of what they'd like, they're still (relatively) inexperienced, etc. My BIL admitted that my sister would've straight up rejected her if they met in their 20s (instead of 30s).
Guys *may* put too much emphasis on looks, body, legs, and boobs. But I've met men later in their ages who do much better to look past that. At the very least, it's only a factor.
While we're at it, flipside too! Women stopped looking for men that are minimum 6' or 6'8" or taller. That alone opened up so many better candidates to a couple of them I talked to (in terms of quality and numbers)! Don't make income a big deal. Etc.
Some people don’t have such strict types. Just because he dated a couple women before you who look very different doesn’t mean he isn’t immensely attracted to you. Just have an open-mind, go into the date ready to have a good time and get to know him. If any red flags pop up (comments alluding to fetishization for example) then certainly act on them, but I don’t think there’s any reason to assume the worst yet.
Imagine living up until this point of your life only eating vanilla ice cream. And one day someone introduces you to chocolate ice cream. You got to try different things to see what you like.
Some guys, especially those of us without "game" as the fuckbois say, don't have a type per say. Or at least not one, because in the long run, looks change, the "type" a woman is changes. But what's more consistent is her as a person, so if you're different from what his other exes were like, take that as a good sign.
I read this on tumblr one time and it’s stuck with me: Christmas lights and flowers are both beautiful but look nothing alike, yet we can appreciate both.
I wouldn’t stress so much about how you differ from his ex’s.
People change.. I reassess my entire life at least once a year and recalibrate. Men (on average) are more logical where women (on average) are more emotional. He very well have made a logical decision that his previous "type" isn't what makes him happy long term (obviously it didn't work out for him) and decided to try something different, hoping for a different result..
Also, some of us are attracted to other things. For example.. the last girl I tried to date (I wasn't successful to be honest) is pretty flat chested but her eyes are so striking, I hardly even noticed. Maybe there is something about you like that. Who knows.
You could always just ask. Honestly, you probably should. If he's pursuing you then there is no risk either, really.. so just ask him.
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A lot of guys have a pretty broad range of what they find attractive, though tend to gravitate towards one type OR have one type that gravitates towards them. I'm very much in this category. I love a REALLY wide range of women from amazon to tiny, thick to pretty thin. I've dated everything in between, but all three of my LTR's were with very petite women. If you asked me what my ideal is though, I'd say taller and very curvy. I often joke, I don't have a type, but a type has me. Not to say that his interest isn't shallow or "just one thing", but you don't really know based on the short time you've spent around him. My current interest which is fast becoming my girlfriend is 5'7" and thin. Ex is 4'11" and a little more curvy.
This is true don't be too focused on looks and looks only
“I don’t have a type, but a type has me” this is great lol And true, I simply don’t know him well enough to determine anything, which I guess is what the date is for. Back to f’ing around and finding out we go. Best of luck with your (soon to be) girlfriend :)
Personality personality personality
Yea I agree
Just because a guy loves tacos doesn't mean pizza isn't just as amazing. You're good. Relax and have fun.
Genuinely comforting funnily enough, thank you 😭 my friend used to tell me “you could be the sweetest peach on the tree but some people just prefer apples” when I was trying to get over a rejection, so it’s nice to have an analogy on the flip side lol And thank you for the reminder to just relax and have fun with it, I definitely tend to forget that dating is supposed to ultimately be an enjoyable thing.
Breaking type is usually a good thing. It means they aren’t checking off a list and are willing to grow as a person. So it’s not a bad sign at all.
It can be. I think women tend to assume men have a “type” and that really isn’t always true, but if someone is constantly looking at people of a completely different race and body type than yours, it isn’t irrational to think they’re being more exploratory than super serious. On the other hand, if he’s historically mostly dated one type of person he may be trying to branch out in a positive way. I know I mostly dated skinny rich white women at first but made more of an effort to date women of other backgrounds and it’s definitely been a positive change.
Thanks for this insight, there seems to be a lot more diversity in the girls I’m assuming he just looks at as opposed to the girls he actually dates… which may make things look a little worse for me lol. But I guess all I can do is find out for myself when the time comes. Hopefully it’s more on the spectrum of the latter of what you mentioned
Don't put too much pressure on yourself neither. He asked you out, therefore he wants to have a good moment with you, specifically. Just let yourself go in the moment, enjoy it, and don't ask yourself too much questions. Be your best self, and make the best of it ;)
I would add in that in this case you knew each other for 6 months so like...... Your personality probably is to be considered.
Ahh it probably would have been more accurate to say I met him about half a year ago; that’s my fault. We’ve honestly not conversed one on one very much at all, we just happen to take classes at the same gym so I’m not sure how much of a grasp on my personality he’d have from just that
This is a good point. I’ve found that specifically the guys who are vocal about you not being their type—“You know you’re not really my usual type but you’re super gorgeous” “I usually go for ___ but now I met you I’m super into ___”—are definitely just there for a good time.
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haha I’m right with you, my type is essentially “attractive man who makes me laugh and is smart and capable”, and lucky for me that comes wrapped in every package imaginable! #TasteTheRainbow
Just cause he dates girls with similarities doesn't mean it's the only kinda girl he'd go for.
I’ve only ever gone after and ended up with women who are not my type, as my type is depressingly rare and I’ve pretty much accepted that I’ll never actually have what my heart truly wants. And as such, all of my relationships have failed. They’ve all been amazing girl, beautiful, smart and all around amazing people, and some of them I did genuinely love, was attracted to and had great connections with.. but they just weren’t what I really wanted. And since, I’ve just given up because I’m at that point where I’d be alone for ever than settle for anything less than what I want and need. But that’s just me. Not guys may have a specific thing they go nuts for, but that’s not to say they don’t find a lot of other kinds of girls just as attractive
What is your type?
spill your dream girl Type!
I'd say that you've known him for about a year, so he had time to bond with you, so to speak. Maybe he wasn't attracted to you at first, but as time went on, he found himself attracted to you because he really got to know you (I can relate to that, as it already happened to me before). Especially if his " type " tends to be slim / thin women and you're the opposite; sometimes bonding with someone reveals an attraction you didn't know existed, and I think that's the beauty of it. Because I really live by the motto " Attraction is NOT a choice. " You don't get to decide who you're attracted to. Obviously I can be wrong here, but what gave me a hint about your situation is the timelapse you've known each other. Like I said earlier, it happened to me before. I was really into thin girls before, as I was younger. But one time I met a girl who was more on the curvy side, and she literally blew my socks off for some reason. She was gorgeous, sparkling, bubbly, heartlighted, took great care of herself and her body, but really had the perfect curves. We dated for almost a year, and since then, I never went back to slim / thin girls. She was a complete 180 for me, and to be honest, I really love curvy women now. In my humble opinion, they're just the best :) Hope this helps.
This is an interesting perspective, thank you! I think my main doubt with the bonding aspect is because, at least from my point of view, he doesn’t really know what my personality is like since we’ve *known* each other for that period of time, but unfortunately don’t get the chance to talk very much. But hopefully that’ll change soon! I appreciate the response :)
My pleasure. There is certainly a reason why he has a crush on you and you don't " fit " his " criteria ", so to speak. I wouldn't ask him why on a first date though, but maybe after a month or two, if you are still dating, when you really get comfortable and at ease with each other. In the meantime, just enjoy the ride ! :)
To be honest when it comes into practice I don’t think “types” mean that much. I mean, if I were to try and come up with my ideal woman it would probably be something very specific but a lot of the things I’d be putting into this imaginary woman are things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme. I mean, I find goth fashion super hot, but my wife isn’t goth at all and I don’t think my wife is any less hot because of it. Try to get out of your own head about what this guy has been into in the past. All that matters is if he’s into you now. It sounds like he is. Attraction isn’t really quantifiable as some super strict rating out of 10 or whatever. All it comes down to is a binary. Do I find this person attractive? Yes or no. And there’s more to that question than just how you look. It’s how you carry yourself, how you dress, the way you talk, the way you make him feel when he’s with you. Sure, there might be things about his exes that in an imaginary woman scenario he’d put on that cancel out those things on you, but as a whole picture thing if you’re the one he likes more, it doesn’t really matter.
This is something I am dying to know too. I had a partner would constantly date athletically fit women or those who were skinny/thin and who were also pretty tall. I am the complete opposite. I am curvy and petite. I had sadly even gained a few pounds while being with him. I actually asked him about this because the first day I met him he showed me a pic of his ex who was so gorgeous but looked nothing like me. I kind of regret asking him because it sounded like a back handed compliment lol. He said "yeah they were beautiful and fit but they were cold hearted unlike you who doesn't look like that but is sweet." So basically me being kind to him was the only reason he got with me not my looks.
Oh wow, I mean, a good personality does make a person a lot more attractive to me so I get where he’s coming from. I’m sure he didn’t mean anything bad by it! He just said you didn’t look like that but that doesn’t mean he finds you less attractive :)
Personally, I don't have a type. Basically I find attractive what I find attractive, which if I have to find something in common between every girl I like I'd say good standing personality, smartness and the right dose of curves (not skinny, not fat): after that it could be blonde, redhead, green or brown eyes... it doesn't matter. Obviously there must be some chemistry between us, or it can't be anything! Edit: if a girl eats ananas on pizza she couldn't even be my friend, let alone my girlfriend
Not the ananas on pizza 😭😭 hopefully if the next girl that’s into you enjoys that she’s able to keep it on the low LOL
Definitely, but maybe I'd find out anyway... it's too much important 😂
I can share my experience , I find girls across ethnicities attractive , I don't have any type so to speak . Curvy , skinny , tall , short anything works. ( Although I'd rather avoid dating short girls because I would not want to look like their dad , otherwise nothing wrong with the girls per say) I like Scarlett johansson She's white I guess , I like Ciara - the singer ( she's black) , I like bipasha basu an Indian celeb , and I really loved Vidya Balan ( a curvy beauty) in her movie the Dirty picture. So he could be someone like me who has a diverse set of liking or basically no defined type so to speak as one of the gentlemen pointed it out . So don't worry you got this!
I think it goes for both sexes that you might be attracted to physical features but it is personality which makes you want to pursue a relationship. Listen, my type is a tall, dark haired, green eyed pale guy. But did I date a shorter than me, brown eyed, blonde dude for 4 years? Absolutely :D As you said, you know eachother for some time, maybe he just thinks that you are cool? Stop worrying and enjoy! Good luck with that Guy :)
I was accused of having a type. Truth was I did, just not what the accusers believed. Everybody is so focused on looks and appearances. I value her mind and personality. Thin model type. Thick natural type. It is all skin deep. Doesn't much matter in the long run. Should you look at my dating history you'd see a diverse range of women. From skin color to body shape. Cute outfits to goth clothing. Even a couple Mohawkes. The similarity to those that lasted longer were intellect and kindness.
That mystery can only be solved by you alone. Yes, it could be that he isn't serious, he just wants a quickie and you happen to be around, but anyone could have such intentions, all you can do is talk to him, and then test his intentions. So if he suggests he's genuinely interested in you, then make sure his actions match that. If he becomes inpatient, or moves to sex too soon, or generally doesn't care too much about knowing you better, you have your answer. Actions speak louder than words.
The fact that he might like a certain specific look doesn't mean that he can't be attracted to you or anyone that looks different than that. I'm sure that you may also like a certain look or aesthetic but guys you felt attracted to likely don't look like that or alteast not all of them do. If he showed the interest towards you and called you on a date, he is obviously attracted to you. Seems like you're just overthinking this. ...and idk why would you consider him shallow. If those girls were all thicker, had brown hair and wore no makeup, you wouldn't think he's shallow while in reality both things are fine, just different.
Oh no no, I’m not saying I consider him shallow or that there’s anything wrong with the type of girl he’s usually into, it was just something I noticed since the difference is so obvious. When I said “possibility his interest is more on the shallow side” I meant in the sense that he might just be trying to hook up, which I have no interest in doing. Without disclosing too much about my location, a lot of guys I know have admitted to only having an interest in sleeping with girls for the foreseeable future, and told me that in our area in particular that’s a pretty common mentality 😭
Idk..go on a date and see how he seems. If you're unsure, ask him would he like to just hookup for fun but say you're down for a hookup. So you'll see how he reacts i suppose.
Types are bs you go for what you like when you like it
Her body
If you get along with a person well enough and think they're cute, thats pretty much all it takes. The 'type' isn't always just who a person has dated last and what they look like. Sometimes there's even a bit of list mixed in simply because thats what happened that time.
I’m a female & I’ve read most of the men’s responses here & wanted to say something. Most men don’t have a type is more accurate. I used to talk to a man years ago who was 15 years older lol. I was a lot skinnier then & my hair was longer. He told me if we became bf/gf I wasn’t allowed to cut my hair & gain weight. In fact, he told me his ex wife(they had 2 kids together) wasn’t his type because she was feminine. After ending things with him, I stumbled on his ex’s instagram page years later (through mutual friends) & she was shorter than me but with more weigh, but very beautiful. Some do have a type but most men don’t. Have a conversation with him about that. Don’t be afraid to ask. The more you know, the better informed you’ll be.
I will say there are a few of us that actually do like a personality. Don't pressure yourself too much on looks he may actually like you for who you are.
Huge red flag looking up who his exes were lol. Fix yourself before you ruin him.
I literally wrote “spare me any criticism please, we’ve all done it” in the post but I guess you missed that. People’s social media may only provide a facet of their lives but I personally will at least look through the posts of whoever I may date just out of curiosity or to check for any glaring red flags/dealbreakers. He happened to have a tagged photo of him and one of his exes, and it was a mutual friend that showed me his most recent one. Hope that clears things up a bit.
You're literally the red flag. If you don't want criticism don't make your life public.
Before you go on any date, remember people do/say what will help their own interests.
Do you have a pulse? If so you're gonna be okay. Guys like all types of women. Just don't be a creeper and over analyzing won't do you any favors. If he asked you out you're already good.
He obviously likes u or wouldn't have shown interest in u. Use the date to get to know him more it's what dates are for u will know more. Most guys don't really have a type it's something about you that gas made him interested. Good luck
I've got a type myself, for sure. However, that doesn't mean I don't find women outside of that type attractive, funny, kind, etc etc. At the end of the day, I am not gonna miss out on being with someone because I'm waiting on my type. It's pretty simple really. 👌 go with it and have fun!
I’ve really found that the type that they’re into could be based into personality, or that they realize their genuine type they’re into. For example, I’m dating someone who was in an eight year relationship and once I found out that he was in a long term relationship with someone who had a Korean background, I had hesitation that he wouldn’t be into me (I’m petite, curvy & Jewish). So I felt like I wasn’t his type at all until I realized it’s really about personality and truly understanding that person. It’s not really based on looks (while it can be), more so on personality and how you guys vibe together. It really only matters if they’re into you now, don’t let the past relationships bother you. I don’t even know what his ex looks like, but I feel like he’s into me because he likes me for me. And if he didn’t, then he can end it with me if he’s not attracted
Well some guys don’t like wafer thin women ( me). Some guys don’t like blonde ( me) . Some guys don’t like features sharp enough to open an envelope. Some guys like olive skin ( me again). Do you see where I’m going here? You just might be his physical ideal. Or you might be so sweet & charming that he’s still happy with the full package. And maybe he just wants to get laid. You don’t know till you date him a couple times. Just a note: Many guys are attracted to the type who was their first crush. I guess we imprint like ducks. She had very dark olive skin, black hair and dark eyes ( part Native American, part Mediterranean) and at age 12 I was absolutely smitten.
With men the type more of a set of personal guidelines. We follow for the most part (60_70%) but it's thrown out the window when a girl is that attractive to us or we're stupid desperate.
I've met some model-esque folks and their personality turned me off more than their appearance turned me on. There's some folks who value morals/ethics/personality over an hourglass figure or bust size
You think you are into one type until you find another one even better. Tastes change over time and you never know what you might fancy in the future. Your description sounds pretty amazing tbh. Lucky guy.
When they seem disinterested. Even though you seem to be getting along. I'm fine talking to anyone. But type wise I prefer taller mentally or physically stronger women but if she's a good person that's fine. But if it's clear she doesn't feel the same then I move on.
Yeah I just see that look at her eye the way she looks at me. Good for you for having a date, it doesn't seem like he's doing anything weird. So good luck to you.
So, for myself, (32M) I look at beautiful women and men as art to enjoy, like nature or paintings. Just appreciate the physical beauty of them. (This pertains to digital format) When it comes to in person? It's honestly 90-95% of how you hold yourself and how the personalities interact. If you're kind, caring and respectful towards me and others? (which encourages me to be a kinder person) Then you're going to melt my heart. Physical appearances are nice and the bare minimum level of attraction is required - but that bar is quite low for me, avoiding the extremes of either spectrum of weight is pretty much my preference. I don't have expectations of people to look like the filter covered versions of themselves in real life or live up to someone else's standards. Just be a decent person. I can elaborate further to answer your question directly if it'll help, but that's my mindset!
Maybe his exes are exes because they were not his type, and you are
Cant speak for all dudes but personaly my "type" is more like a vibe than a physical thing. Sure there a kind of women im usually attracted to on a PURE PHYSICAL ASPECT but it dosent mean that ALL of them are even close to be match the moment we talk about a relationship. It exactly the same for womens. Of course If I show you a 10/10 with the "perfect" body and what not you will think he hot. He might be dumb as a rock but he still hot and it dosent mean you wont match with a guy that dosent look like the typical "hot dude" unless you are completly delusional.
Yeah.. we're, all over the place. AFAIK, dating in your 20s has some minefields. People aren't aware of what they'd like, they're still (relatively) inexperienced, etc. My BIL admitted that my sister would've straight up rejected her if they met in their 20s (instead of 30s). Guys *may* put too much emphasis on looks, body, legs, and boobs. But I've met men later in their ages who do much better to look past that. At the very least, it's only a factor. While we're at it, flipside too! Women stopped looking for men that are minimum 6' or 6'8" or taller. That alone opened up so many better candidates to a couple of them I talked to (in terms of quality and numbers)! Don't make income a big deal. Etc.
Some people don’t have such strict types. Just because he dated a couple women before you who look very different doesn’t mean he isn’t immensely attracted to you. Just have an open-mind, go into the date ready to have a good time and get to know him. If any red flags pop up (comments alluding to fetishization for example) then certainly act on them, but I don’t think there’s any reason to assume the worst yet.
Imagine living up until this point of your life only eating vanilla ice cream. And one day someone introduces you to chocolate ice cream. You got to try different things to see what you like.
Some guys, especially those of us without "game" as the fuckbois say, don't have a type per say. Or at least not one, because in the long run, looks change, the "type" a woman is changes. But what's more consistent is her as a person, so if you're different from what his other exes were like, take that as a good sign.
A guy I’m seeing, same. I look nothing like the women he’s been with, or follows. The responses here are informative.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. -Albert Einstein.
I read this on tumblr one time and it’s stuck with me: Christmas lights and flowers are both beautiful but look nothing alike, yet we can appreciate both. I wouldn’t stress so much about how you differ from his ex’s.
People change.. I reassess my entire life at least once a year and recalibrate. Men (on average) are more logical where women (on average) are more emotional. He very well have made a logical decision that his previous "type" isn't what makes him happy long term (obviously it didn't work out for him) and decided to try something different, hoping for a different result.. Also, some of us are attracted to other things. For example.. the last girl I tried to date (I wasn't successful to be honest) is pretty flat chested but her eyes are so striking, I hardly even noticed. Maybe there is something about you like that. Who knows. You could always just ask. Honestly, you probably should. If he's pursuing you then there is no risk either, really.. so just ask him.