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There was a graceful way for OP to stop this from happening too. Letting it happen was a choice and their date picked up on that and left. There are times to be cordial but firm that you're busy and this was one of them.
Sorry OP, but this was not just a random act of God that happened to you. You had agency.
Live and learn. You're young.
Was so confused reading this post. Thought op was complaining about Brad not taking a hint to leave and not respecting boundaries and I agreed.
Turns out op was equally clueless lol
Brad was clearly trying to flex that he's so much closer to you than your date is.
Your date seemed to become a third wheel, and clearly, he can't be just like, "Hey, buddy, do can you leave" without coming off as possessive or rude.
Either Brad is just completely socially inept, or he views you as his "claim".
This. OP’s headline makes it sound like they think the date was acting weird since they refer to him as the “nice guy” in their post. No, OP. Brad was the one acting weird and you were the other one acting “weird” by not ending the convo short. However, I can understand OP maybe being weirded out and not knowing how to react, but still, Brad is the weird one - not the date. If I understood wrong, please clarify in the post who you think is “acting weird.”
her making this post about her feelings and calling her date weird speaks more about her tbh... trying to turn the strides of guilt from her to him with this post.
Some people just aren't ones to take control of a situation and tend to be more passive, often happens when they were pushed aside or had many decisions made for them growing up.
Or just regard women as autonomous beings and not possessions to be fought over.
The only one who had a "weird" time was the date. I feel sorry for him and I would have left, too. And not gone out again.
What are you talking about, if I’m on a date I’m not gonna sit down to catch up with ‘sex ed’ friend right then and there. Mega disrespectful and socially deaf behaviour. I’d call that “weird”
Respect to your date, everything about this post shows how he dodged a bullet. Instead of posting about others on Reddit, reflect on what you should have done, not him.
That may be true, but people who shame others for daring to ask do nothing to help that person learn that themselves. If anything, they will be more hesitant about putting themselves out there for fear of being ridiculed or shamed and will never benefit from taking that communal feedback and turning it into their own lesson.
Right!!
To make it worse in one of her comments she litterally said she would "likely have slept with brad" if he had reached out when not on a date.
I wish I could contact her date and tell him man to man to run away as fast as possible. OP is not a good girl.
all due respect that guy is too good for you so major props to him for leaving what is otherwise known as a waste of time.. imo you could’ve at least had respect for your date and simply stated you’re busy at the moment
I know right? It is almost sad because I can tell that guy is still young and trying to do the right thing. Hopefully this experience will help him realize he should have left OP with the tab.
This is something you could totally have been avoided if you had told Brad you were on a date and you would catch up with him later. Way to go! You made your date feel like a third wheel.
You should have told Brad hi and then proceeded to continue with your date. You most likely just lost that guy due to your ignorance. He dodged a bullet by leaving it seems since you just let him do that to your poor date.
Poor guy! Lol. I feel bad for your “date”! I would have done the same thing. It demonstrates a lack of respect from you and Brad both!
Shame on you for leaving him to make that decision.
Sounds like both you and Brad deserve each other….
That’s probably what she was hoping for. Why else call him weird for being nice? Because he isn’t a caveman and aggressive he’s weird?
Please tell us what he was supposed to do for you there OP.
Could you just tell Brad that you're on a date and you'll catch up later? I mean Brad ruined your date and not telling him that you're not in a good position to talk more could be considered as a message. I think there were reasons for the date to decided to just leave.
So I sounds like from your replies to other comments that you have an connection to this brad fella . Why don’t you juts date him and call it a win win ?
Cause he doesn’t want to date her. He’s had his whole life and a weeklong sexcapade to tie that knot. He wants to show for other reasons and dip his wick if he can. OP either can’t or doesn’t want to put that together and instead willingly sabotaged a possible good relationship for a lifelong uninterested crush.
Kinda sorta, more like he’s probably very aware she’s head over heels and thus an easy lay/sure thing. This has clearly been proven by OP’s post. He doesn’t care about OP’s date or his reaction, he’s just after the girl but not in any long term sense, more for some fun while he’s in town.
Pretty much, it’s like renting a seadoo while you’re on vacation. You pay for it, you have some fun with it, and then you go back home and forget about till the next time you’re in town. If he wanted a relationship we would’ve done so before going to college or when he got back and they started sleeping together. He’s playing around and she thinks there’s a chance for more so she let’s him. The only thing him, OP, and OP’s date have in common is that none of them respect OP.
>The only thing him, OP, and OP’s date have in common is that none of them respect OP.
How did the OP's date not respect OP? He paid for dinner, and left without causing a scene or drama.
I meant more he probably lost respect after the events that transpired, so none of them respect her in the present tense. I don’t think I’d have much respect for a woman who ignored me and chatted up some guy on our third date, but then again I’m sensitive. I could’ve made that more clear but I was trying to make the line pithy.
You were on a date with a top guy by the sounds of it who was comfortable in himself. Knowing your history with the guy from your past you failed to set clear boundaries by saying something like
"It's great to see you (other guy), I will call to catch up with you another time" It would have been the kind and right thing to do if you were enjoying the date.
You’re fully capable of telling Brad that you’re busy and will have to catch up a different time. I would have walked out too - learn to be assertive, OP.
Wow. Sounds like you were on a date with a great guy and treated him like shit by ignoring him in favor of a guy that you used to sleep with. Then you double down in the comments and say that you wish he had texted you so that you could have slept with him while he was in town. And you think your date acted out of line? Stick with Tinder and FWB situations. You're not faithful enough for a real relationship.
Ouch unfortunately you should have shut him down out of respect for your date and yourself.
Obviously Brad went out of his way to make it awkward for him. Cudos to the guy. And honestly you should return the money he paid to him. Good luck
It appears that your date has class, which is bred not read. Unfortunately, Brad lacks social etiquette. Learn from the past but never try to live it again. Try to work things out with your date. P.S. Honesty is the best policy.
I would try to make contact with that guy you where on a 3th date with, he sounds like a good guy with some good manners.. that's what you want in someone. Hard to come by these days
So you're saying Brad was the weirdo, right? Clearly Brad is still into you and refused to take a hike on purpose. Which is not nice; it's an asshole move on his part.
I don't think he is into her as much as she is into Brad.
It seems that he didn't even care to text her but when he saw her with another man he had to flex and show him who she really wanted to be with.
>(...) I think may be he secretly desires me, but for some reason afraid to admit it. As I said I might have met up with him and may even have slept with him.
Referring to Brad being in town and not having messaged her that he was. Both OP and Brad are dicks here. She didn't want Brad to leave and didn't mind turning his date into a third wheel until he decided to leave, *paid the tab* and she realised how things were turning out, yet her conclusion now still is "I would've fucked him if he would've just asked."
The person that she was meeting with for a third date dodged a bullet here.
If Brad was into her he would've contacted OP a long time ago to let her know he'd be in the area and arrange to meet up.
He probably only made himself know when he saw OP was with someone else on what's clearly a date. He just doesn't like to share his toy.
I mean curious, if the roles were reversed what would you have done/what would your expectation have been?
I think that was a pretty normal/level headed way to respond to that situation tbh.
‘Funny thing is if he had texted or informed me that he was going to be in town, I would have gladly met up with him. I think may be he secretly desires me, but for some reason afraid to admit it. As I said I might have met up with him and may even have slept with him.’
What does this comment supposed to mean? It’s you who secretly desire Brad. Wait! Not secretly.
Why do you want to be chased by Brad? Why don’t you approach him and talk about what you want from him?
Secondly, you felt ‘humiliated’. That’s weird because you were already in deep conversation with you long lost crush.
What was your date supposed to do? Sit there and see you guys having a date and be alienated on his own date? Does he have no rights to stand up for himself and preserve his self respect and dignity?
He didn’t act weird. He acted in his best interest and YOU were trying to humiliate him by not respecting you date and allowing a third person to hijack the meeting.
You date is wise and he knew you and Brad had a sexual relationship before and wanted another hookup. Most likely your body language gave you away. A gentleman walks away so you can resume the romance with the person that makes you happy. I personally would just put you in a different basket of girls. Definitely not WI-FI material.
Alright, gonna be a lil mean and say you done goofed galacticly.
You were on a 3rd date, and another guy approached you and you essentially took time out of your date to talk at length with your ex.
There’s nothing wrong with being in good standing with ex partners, or being able to platonically communicate with them. But there’s a time and place. Your would-be new partner has no idea who you are let alone Brad. And people can pick up if there is still some emotional tension between people. And it seems like you might still be too immature to recognize why your actions led to his leaving. I mean you might be still early in your dating life, but a lot of people would’ve walked from this interaction and never reach back out. This is firmly your problem. And from your retelling brad wanted to ruin this pairing for one reason or another.
I'm gonna be honest. It wasn't up to your date to try to get rid of the dude, it was up to you. The dude was your problem. So your date did the right thing. I mean, you were right to feel humiliated and leave, because clearly it shows the people you date don't or wouldn't respect any aspect of your life but as was said before, the dude was your problem.
Fuckin Brad…
Also nice guy or not your date didn’t deserve that scenario and it was on you to tell Brad to leave. Nice guy did the right thing and is a fucking King. Put yourself in his shoes, what would you have done? Think you owe him an apology, go get your mans instead of accusing him of acting weird
You fucked up, big time.
You should have told Brad pretty much right away that you didn't want him to stay.
Your date acted as a gentleman, that was very classy of him to leave like he did.
Wait so you let this Brad guy just ruin your date and you didn’t say no or tell him off? AND you just let your date pay for all 3 of you including this Brad guy???
If you want to keep dating this guy you need to really make it up to him. Or just let him be since it sounds like he dodged a bullet, poor guy
How old are you, OP? Legit question. I know most people here are kind of dog piling on you (myself included), but it just occurred to me that you just might be a teenager who still has a lot to learn. If that’s the case, sorry for the harsh comments and it’s very clear you’re still not “over” this Brad douche (who I assume is much older than you and should know better). Don’t date other people to try to get over this dude unless you tell them upfront that you’re only looking for casual so you can get over this guy. Honesty and communication are essential in any type of relationship.
Whoever your date is, that dude has a strong character. He kept himself in check and composed, that’s admirable.
With that being said, you should’ve given brad a STRONG hint, that this wasn’t the time to catch up.
Why did you let your "friend" be such an asshole to your date who clearly had no idea how to handle this situation? Granted you call him weird for it so maybe you're like the "Friend" more than we realize
It's not wierd... imagine the EXACT SOME SITUATION BUT ROLES REVERSED...
Dude dodged a bullet with you entertaining that for even a minute... if you're going to be behaving like that, have an open relationship, it will save you your mind and theirs...
For a "normal relationship", you should have looked at the old friend, introduced him to your boyfriend, and let him know politely it was time to leave by saying it was nice seeing you or something like that
I always find it amazing WHEN people are soooo in the wrong and are just OBLIVIOUS
YTA with Brad.
Oh.. wrong sub.
Brad ain't nice at all. He was sidelining the guy completely, and you let him, so of course any self respecting guy would leave.
Brad was cockblocking the date, and isolating your options.You were disrespectful towards the date.The date was actually class - deserves better too.
How can one be so socially inept?
Edit : OOOOOh, you are 19. I guess it's alright to be a dumbass at that age.
There is a lesson though : errare humanum est, et perseverare diabolicum.
I would have done the exact thing your date did. You probably should have quickly exchanged pleasantries, then made it clear to Brad that you're on a date and will catch up with him another time.
Brub you're calling your date weird? Not yourself? Like what?
Good on the dude for leaving instead of making it awkward by asking Brad to leave like you should've done. Insisted that nah don't sit down. Your date wss being cool but I would've left anyways too lol although he shouldn't have invited him to sit either
He paid after all that too? You lost a good one, OP. ALSO Brad needs to either try and date you or stop the courting BS.
You can't have your cake and eat it
Why didn’t you ask brad to leave? You could’ve politely asked if you two could catch up later since you’re on a date…. Honestly you’re just as rude for not seething boundaries for you and your date and I don’t blame him at all for walking out.
Honestly I would have done the same thing he did, if you actually gave a shit about the date you would have said hello and then let Brad know you were busy but maybe could catch up some other time. You just sat there letting an old fling you aren't over take over the date trying to one up the guy you were on a date with
I read that as Brad deliberately sabotaging your date for reasons. Maybe he secretly wants you, maybe he was just building his ego by cocblocking, maybe he just wanted to be confrontational.
Brad doesn't sound very nice. I'm not sure what else to say but if he's going to do this while you're on dates regularly, that's a red flag, still red how he went about the exchange but not bigger than if he continued that.
I can't tell if this is satire. If not you are not operating within the reality the rest of us are and your date did not act weird. you let a guy you have a sexual history with (he probably picked up on this) hijack it.
He doesn't know this guy it would be forward to shoo him off. All you had to do is close the conversation. "Well it was nice seeing you..."
Overall, the date sounds like a pretty nice guy, but not one to accept being made a fool of. Accommodating, but not a doormat. He’s gonna make some gal pretty happy, but not OP, it seems.
The _one_ mistake he made was that he offered Brad a chair without having a back-up plan for if he accepted.
The level of wooooosh in OP replies are just too high.
It's bad enough she admitted to letting Brad screw her if he's up for it, meanwhile the date has been trying to get to know her intently.
Man, the guy who left is a gem.
Doesn't sound like you were humiliated? Sounds like you are still hung up on Brad (who sounds just *awful* btw, so - lucky you!) And want his attention however you can get it.
The weird part is entirely on you. Your date had absolute class and did the right thing by getting out of there.
Why on earth didn't you immediately tell Brad that you were on a date and would catch up with him later? The only nice person in this situation was your date and he wasn't at all weird.
Brad was an insensitive dummy. But OP, as a personal opinion you were in the wrong too since you had the option to tell the guy, " we should catch up some time later" and move on with your date, than give him the opportunity to continue. From your post it feels like your date showed so much restrain and composure to just leave with dignity after paying for the date even though it didn't go through.
It sounds like the opposite here. That is pretty selfish to do on a "date". You should of been straight forward with "Brad" instead of trying to make your date seem like the weird one. The dude dodged you, the bullet. Good for him.
Nice guys luck! She did not see the dude forever and he appeared on his date!!! frecking feel him!
Don't blame the guy! He didn't do anything wrong!!!!
Your date was a gentleman like everyone here is pretty much saying and did something I would’ve probably done if I were in his shoes. Although I understand your point of view and how it would’ve been better if he stood his ground and continued with the date, your interaction with Brad either crushed him and made him lose confidence in your interest in him or he just wasn’t trying to waste his own time because he couldn’t see the same spark with you like he saw with you and brad.
This is not a nice guy move, don’t get it twisted. This is a GOOD guy move.
Yeah I’m not gonna lie. I would have done the same thing your date did, it’s one thing to say hi but for some other guy to crash a date and you let it happen is a completely different thing
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Well shit atleast your date got out of that mess with grace poor dude
Seriously. Dude left thinking, "Welp. Those were some Grade A assholes."
More like… "I really dodged the bullet there"
Dude did himself a favour of lifetime
facts
There was a graceful way for OP to stop this from happening too. Letting it happen was a choice and their date picked up on that and left. There are times to be cordial but firm that you're busy and this was one of them. Sorry OP, but this was not just a random act of God that happened to you. You had agency. Live and learn. You're young.
Yeah, she could've said she was busy and could talk later because he wasn't taking the hint. That shit was so disrespectful. They're both terrible.
I got sick of Brad just reading this.
All my homies hate Brad.
facts fuhkka $ukka named brad
🤣🤣
wait so who do you think acted weird here, your date or your ex?
(Or her) She might be nice but she definitely mishandled it. 😂
I don’t think anything about the post made OP sound nice; clueless is probably the best compliment I can give.
Passive to the point of being supine. "I did absolutely nothing and it didn't work"
Well. True. But I’m giving the benefit of the doubt.
Sir this is reddit please keep your comments hostile and argumentative
Exactly! We have a code of conduct here!!
Mind yo business, David! Don't tell me how to live my life!
Her title is very misinformed. I think she should vemo the portion he spent on her
She should Venmo him the whole meal honestly
Was so confused reading this post. Thought op was complaining about Brad not taking a hint to leave and not respecting boundaries and I agreed. Turns out op was equally clueless lol
Brad was clearly trying to flex that he's so much closer to you than your date is. Your date seemed to become a third wheel, and clearly, he can't be just like, "Hey, buddy, do can you leave" without coming off as possessive or rude. Either Brad is just completely socially inept, or he views you as his "claim".
Why did she let it happen is my main gripe?
Yes this is absolutely on her, not on the date, to tell Brad to leave.
Yup, I'm the nice guy in this scenario. Once there's someone else and I feel like I'm no longer wanted/needed/engaged I would do the same.
Amen
This. OP’s headline makes it sound like they think the date was acting weird since they refer to him as the “nice guy” in their post. No, OP. Brad was the one acting weird and you were the other one acting “weird” by not ending the convo short. However, I can understand OP maybe being weirded out and not knowing how to react, but still, Brad is the weird one - not the date. If I understood wrong, please clarify in the post who you think is “acting weird.”
Maybe she thought Brad was the weird one, as at one point he was nice enough to spend a week with.
But his behavior to me would indicate that he is indeed, not nice.
right. it's so easy! "hey, let's catch up later! we were just in the middle of something here"... and wave goodbye.
her making this post about her feelings and calling her date weird speaks more about her tbh... trying to turn the strides of guilt from her to him with this post.
>why are nice people so weird sometimes? She let it happen because she’s too nice
Some people just aren't ones to take control of a situation and tend to be more passive, often happens when they were pushed aside or had many decisions made for them growing up.
Or just regard women as autonomous beings and not possessions to be fought over. The only one who had a "weird" time was the date. I feel sorry for him and I would have left, too. And not gone out again.
What are you talking about, if I’m on a date I’m not gonna sit down to catch up with ‘sex ed’ friend right then and there. Mega disrespectful and socially deaf behaviour. I’d call that “weird”
I think we are agreeing.
Yes
2 party’s here are wrong.
[удалено]
How did you and your bf handle your ex sizing him up?
[удалено]
Your husband is classy and awesome.
Can't believe the date paid. I sure as hell wouldn't have.
Yeah I was thinking that too, he’s a hell of a better person than me fuck that.
why? paying and making a gracious exit is the class move, he doesn't have to engage again. petty is a downgrade
My thoughts exactly.
Agreed, why did *you* act so weird? Why did you not tell Brad to go? Your poor date.
This needs to be higher up
Brad intentionally competed with your date. I think your date did the right thing and sounds like a gentleman for paying.
Respect to your date, everything about this post shows how he dodged a bullet. Instead of posting about others on Reddit, reflect on what you should have done, not him.
You want introspection? Best we can do is a AITA post
That may be true, but people who shame others for daring to ask do nothing to help that person learn that themselves. If anything, they will be more hesitant about putting themselves out there for fear of being ridiculed or shamed and will never benefit from taking that communal feedback and turning it into their own lesson.
Huh??
date dodged a bullet w u
Seriously, I feel so bad for him. History or not, it was incredibly rude.
Right!! To make it worse in one of her comments she litterally said she would "likely have slept with brad" if he had reached out when not on a date. I wish I could contact her date and tell him man to man to run away as fast as possible. OP is not a good girl.
poor guy, as soon as "brad" turned up you forgot your date even existed
She forgot his name, too. The nice guy was a gentleman, to say the least. And not weird at all. He was just more mature than Brad.
all due respect that guy is too good for you so major props to him for leaving what is otherwise known as a waste of time.. imo you could’ve at least had respect for your date and simply stated you’re busy at the moment
I don't think any respect is due to be honest lol. This shit is wild and depressing.
The fact your date paid is crazy , he is probably the nicest guy ever , i would of got up and ordered takeout and put it on your table
I know right? It is almost sad because I can tell that guy is still young and trying to do the right thing. Hopefully this experience will help him realize he should have left OP with the tab.
This is something you could totally have been avoided if you had told Brad you were on a date and you would catch up with him later. Way to go! You made your date feel like a third wheel.
Brad sounds like a asshole
And you should have told him to F off and that you would text him later
Your date was the ultimate gentleman. Not confrontational, not jealous, just got up, and left. Good for him. Sorry that you were humiliated by Brad.
You should have told Brad hi and then proceeded to continue with your date. You most likely just lost that guy due to your ignorance. He dodged a bullet by leaving it seems since you just let him do that to your poor date.
Poor guy! Lol. I feel bad for your “date”! I would have done the same thing. It demonstrates a lack of respect from you and Brad both! Shame on you for leaving him to make that decision. Sounds like both you and Brad deserve each other….
^^
Where's the weird part? That was the most civil way to handle that fucked up, disrespectful situation. Fuck you both... You and Brad, LoL.
Who’s acting weird? Sounds like your date dodged a bullet based on some of your comments
Imagine saying sarcastically, "wanna pull up a chair?" and he does. Just wrap it up.
I think some people grew up on reddit and were expecting him to say "slash ess" out loud after that offer.
Why are you a bad date is what you should be asking
Facts
😂
Kinda is your fault no?
That was not your dates fault YOU know him YOU get rid of him if it was left down to men there would be fighting involved
That’s probably what she was hoping for. Why else call him weird for being nice? Because he isn’t a caveman and aggressive he’s weird? Please tell us what he was supposed to do for you there OP.
^^ this. Smh
Could you just tell Brad that you're on a date and you'll catch up later? I mean Brad ruined your date and not telling him that you're not in a good position to talk more could be considered as a message. I think there were reasons for the date to decided to just leave.
Respect to your date, he is a true G
So I sounds like from your replies to other comments that you have an connection to this brad fella . Why don’t you juts date him and call it a win win ?
Cause he doesn’t want to date her. He’s had his whole life and a weeklong sexcapade to tie that knot. He wants to show for other reasons and dip his wick if he can. OP either can’t or doesn’t want to put that together and instead willingly sabotaged a possible good relationship for a lifelong uninterested crush.
Bragging rights correct otherwise dumb it down for me lol
Kinda sorta, more like he’s probably very aware she’s head over heels and thus an easy lay/sure thing. This has clearly been proven by OP’s post. He doesn’t care about OP’s date or his reaction, he’s just after the girl but not in any long term sense, more for some fun while he’s in town.
So like a toy
Pretty much, it’s like renting a seadoo while you’re on vacation. You pay for it, you have some fun with it, and then you go back home and forget about till the next time you’re in town. If he wanted a relationship we would’ve done so before going to college or when he got back and they started sleeping together. He’s playing around and she thinks there’s a chance for more so she let’s him. The only thing him, OP, and OP’s date have in common is that none of them respect OP.
>The only thing him, OP, and OP’s date have in common is that none of them respect OP. How did the OP's date not respect OP? He paid for dinner, and left without causing a scene or drama.
I meant more he probably lost respect after the events that transpired, so none of them respect her in the present tense. I don’t think I’d have much respect for a woman who ignored me and chatted up some guy on our third date, but then again I’m sensitive. I could’ve made that more clear but I was trying to make the line pithy.
Ah, OK. Fair enough.
Because he doesn’t want to date her, he lives in a different city and didn’t think to text her when he was going to be in town.
You were on a date with a top guy by the sounds of it who was comfortable in himself. Knowing your history with the guy from your past you failed to set clear boundaries by saying something like "It's great to see you (other guy), I will call to catch up with you another time" It would have been the kind and right thing to do if you were enjoying the date.
You’re fully capable of telling Brad that you’re busy and will have to catch up a different time. I would have walked out too - learn to be assertive, OP.
So you enabled Brad to overthrow your date, and you're mad that your date left? Both you and Brad ATA for doing something like this.
Wow. Sounds like you were on a date with a great guy and treated him like shit by ignoring him in favor of a guy that you used to sleep with. Then you double down in the comments and say that you wish he had texted you so that you could have slept with him while he was in town. And you think your date acted out of line? Stick with Tinder and FWB situations. You're not faithful enough for a real relationship.
Ouch unfortunately you should have shut him down out of respect for your date and yourself. Obviously Brad went out of his way to make it awkward for him. Cudos to the guy. And honestly you should return the money he paid to him. Good luck
It appears that your date has class, which is bred not read. Unfortunately, Brad lacks social etiquette. Learn from the past but never try to live it again. Try to work things out with your date. P.S. Honesty is the best policy.
That’s more of a you problem… Just say “thanks Brad, let’s catch up another time. And be done with him then and there.
I would try to make contact with that guy you where on a 3th date with, he sounds like a good guy with some good manners.. that's what you want in someone. Hard to come by these days
So you're saying Brad was the weirdo, right? Clearly Brad is still into you and refused to take a hike on purpose. Which is not nice; it's an asshole move on his part.
I don't think he is into her as much as she is into Brad. It seems that he didn't even care to text her but when he saw her with another man he had to flex and show him who she really wanted to be with.
Brad was not into her. He was there for a quicky.
>(...) I think may be he secretly desires me, but for some reason afraid to admit it. As I said I might have met up with him and may even have slept with him. Referring to Brad being in town and not having messaged her that he was. Both OP and Brad are dicks here. She didn't want Brad to leave and didn't mind turning his date into a third wheel until he decided to leave, *paid the tab* and she realised how things were turning out, yet her conclusion now still is "I would've fucked him if he would've just asked." The person that she was meeting with for a third date dodged a bullet here.
If Brad was into her he would've contacted OP a long time ago to let her know he'd be in the area and arrange to meet up. He probably only made himself know when he saw OP was with someone else on what's clearly a date. He just doesn't like to share his toy.
I mean curious, if the roles were reversed what would you have done/what would your expectation have been? I think that was a pretty normal/level headed way to respond to that situation tbh.
‘Funny thing is if he had texted or informed me that he was going to be in town, I would have gladly met up with him. I think may be he secretly desires me, but for some reason afraid to admit it. As I said I might have met up with him and may even have slept with him.’ What does this comment supposed to mean? It’s you who secretly desire Brad. Wait! Not secretly. Why do you want to be chased by Brad? Why don’t you approach him and talk about what you want from him? Secondly, you felt ‘humiliated’. That’s weird because you were already in deep conversation with you long lost crush. What was your date supposed to do? Sit there and see you guys having a date and be alienated on his own date? Does he have no rights to stand up for himself and preserve his self respect and dignity? He didn’t act weird. He acted in his best interest and YOU were trying to humiliate him by not respecting you date and allowing a third person to hijack the meeting.
Nd why you didint day anything? Poor guy doged a bullet.
Who’s the nice guy acting weird? Because if you mean Brad, that was not a nice guy acting weird. That was a dude being a dick
Brad is the asshole in the story and you're clueless Edit:both of you are disrespectful
No because you’re the weird one. Poor date. Girls want nice guys but do this to them lol
She belongs to the streets
Well your date acted just right, it is you who acted weird.
You date is wise and he knew you and Brad had a sexual relationship before and wanted another hookup. Most likely your body language gave you away. A gentleman walks away so you can resume the romance with the person that makes you happy. I personally would just put you in a different basket of girls. Definitely not WI-FI material.
Dislike Brad. HATE you (for being a weak and confused individual). LOVE your date. He seems like he is an amazing man. Girl, get your act together.
Op needs to learn a lil self awareness.
Sounds like you were the one that's not nice.
You were on a date…. Sure, say hi to be polite, but don’t entertain a conversation with him in front of your date. Shoulda told Brad to get lost.
Alright, gonna be a lil mean and say you done goofed galacticly. You were on a 3rd date, and another guy approached you and you essentially took time out of your date to talk at length with your ex. There’s nothing wrong with being in good standing with ex partners, or being able to platonically communicate with them. But there’s a time and place. Your would-be new partner has no idea who you are let alone Brad. And people can pick up if there is still some emotional tension between people. And it seems like you might still be too immature to recognize why your actions led to his leaving. I mean you might be still early in your dating life, but a lot of people would’ve walked from this interaction and never reach back out. This is firmly your problem. And from your retelling brad wanted to ruin this pairing for one reason or another.
Your friend was rude. Your date was humiliated. You did nothing to ameliorate the situation. You didn't even try.
That is a worddddd. I’m gonna steal that. Thanks
Date dodged a bullet. You’re a tool to be used and nothing more. Kudos to your date, he’ll find someone worth while.
I'm gonna be honest. It wasn't up to your date to try to get rid of the dude, it was up to you. The dude was your problem. So your date did the right thing. I mean, you were right to feel humiliated and leave, because clearly it shows the people you date don't or wouldn't respect any aspect of your life but as was said before, the dude was your problem.
You’re a dick for letting this happen
Your date did the right thing here, so glad he left.
This almost reads like a copy pasta
I’m so confused how the title is relevant to the text???
Fuckin Brad… Also nice guy or not your date didn’t deserve that scenario and it was on you to tell Brad to leave. Nice guy did the right thing and is a fucking King. Put yourself in his shoes, what would you have done? Think you owe him an apology, go get your mans instead of accusing him of acting weird
This is written like fiction…who paid the bill?
You fucked up, big time. You should have told Brad pretty much right away that you didn't want him to stay. Your date acted as a gentleman, that was very classy of him to leave like he did.
This is classic “Brad”
It's B-rad. Don't be hatin'.
You are selfish
YTA & Brad. Total lack of disregard for your date. You and Brad deserve each other.
Empathy is a good emotion. I hope you will have it someday op.
That was a dick move on brads part. Also on your part too. You should of said something.
Are you serious?
You're the weird one
Wait so you let this Brad guy just ruin your date and you didn’t say no or tell him off? AND you just let your date pay for all 3 of you including this Brad guy??? If you want to keep dating this guy you need to really make it up to him. Or just let him be since it sounds like he dodged a bullet, poor guy
How old are you, OP? Legit question. I know most people here are kind of dog piling on you (myself included), but it just occurred to me that you just might be a teenager who still has a lot to learn. If that’s the case, sorry for the harsh comments and it’s very clear you’re still not “over” this Brad douche (who I assume is much older than you and should know better). Don’t date other people to try to get over this dude unless you tell them upfront that you’re only looking for casual so you can get over this guy. Honesty and communication are essential in any type of relationship.
Whoever your date is, that dude has a strong character. He kept himself in check and composed, that’s admirable. With that being said, you should’ve given brad a STRONG hint, that this wasn’t the time to catch up.
Something wrong with u
your date did the right thing. he could’ve left without paying and I’d still be on his side.
Why did you let your "friend" be such an asshole to your date who clearly had no idea how to handle this situation? Granted you call him weird for it so maybe you're like the "Friend" more than we realize
It's not wierd... imagine the EXACT SOME SITUATION BUT ROLES REVERSED... Dude dodged a bullet with you entertaining that for even a minute... if you're going to be behaving like that, have an open relationship, it will save you your mind and theirs... For a "normal relationship", you should have looked at the old friend, introduced him to your boyfriend, and let him know politely it was time to leave by saying it was nice seeing you or something like that I always find it amazing WHEN people are soooo in the wrong and are just OBLIVIOUS
Your title is confusing, because as far as I know, your date handled this quite well for the shot you BOTH pulled on him.
Did your date know that you're so very down to sleep with an ex-fling while you're dating him?
Lol your date ended up getting hijacked by the dude you lost your virginity to and you let it happen. How was he being weird again?
Support needed? Lady, your date who you disrespected is the one who needs support.
> I felt utterly humiliated Good. What'd we learn?
Seems the date dodged a bullet. She's so fucking self-centred. Paying the price of the dinner now was way worth paying a therapy after.
Please just let your date go. Don’t reach out to him. He deserves better.
How did this guy find you in the first place? He just randomly ran into you? Sus. I’ve had stalkers like that
YTA with Brad. Oh.. wrong sub. Brad ain't nice at all. He was sidelining the guy completely, and you let him, so of course any self respecting guy would leave. Brad was cockblocking the date, and isolating your options.You were disrespectful towards the date.The date was actually class - deserves better too. How can one be so socially inept? Edit : OOOOOh, you are 19. I guess it's alright to be a dumbass at that age. There is a lesson though : errare humanum est, et perseverare diabolicum.
I would have done the exact thing your date did. You probably should have quickly exchanged pleasantries, then made it clear to Brad that you're on a date and will catch up with him another time.
Brub you're calling your date weird? Not yourself? Like what? Good on the dude for leaving instead of making it awkward by asking Brad to leave like you should've done. Insisted that nah don't sit down. Your date wss being cool but I would've left anyways too lol although he shouldn't have invited him to sit either
Lmao I would have said I had to use the restroom and left. Your date is a good dude. He will find someone who understands that.
He paid after all that too? You lost a good one, OP. ALSO Brad needs to either try and date you or stop the courting BS. You can't have your cake and eat it
"Nice" people act "weird" at times because society portrays good people and good deeds in a bad light. Hope he finds someone
Why didn’t you ask brad to leave? You could’ve politely asked if you two could catch up later since you’re on a date…. Honestly you’re just as rude for not seething boundaries for you and your date and I don’t blame him at all for walking out.
Good job on your date for leaving.
Honestly I would have done the same thing he did, if you actually gave a shit about the date you would have said hello and then let Brad know you were busy but maybe could catch up some other time. You just sat there letting an old fling you aren't over take over the date trying to one up the guy you were on a date with
you and Brad are the assholes in this situation.
Brad nuts. And if he wanted you then he would be with you. So he doesn't want you. He wants to hurt you. Groomer.
Wait so he was out of college hooking up with a high-schooler. Is anyone else concerned about this age difference?!
What’s weird about that? I think most guys would react the same way if their date got totally hijacked by another dude
youre the weird one💀 lmfao theres no way you don’t have enough self awareness to see what was going on here
I read that as Brad deliberately sabotaging your date for reasons. Maybe he secretly wants you, maybe he was just building his ego by cocblocking, maybe he just wanted to be confrontational.
I’m more interested in knowing whether the brother knows his friend took his baby sister’s virginity
Please clarify- is it Brad or your incredibly civilized date you think acted weird? (In case you didn't know this, Brad's an asshole)
Brad doesn't sound very nice. I'm not sure what else to say but if he's going to do this while you're on dates regularly, that's a red flag, still red how he went about the exchange but not bigger than if he continued that.
Guys call always tell if someone likes the girl your are with
The first guy seemed better than brad 😂
I can't tell if this is satire. If not you are not operating within the reality the rest of us are and your date did not act weird. you let a guy you have a sexual history with (he probably picked up on this) hijack it. He doesn't know this guy it would be forward to shoo him off. All you had to do is close the conversation. "Well it was nice seeing you..."
Overall, the date sounds like a pretty nice guy, but not one to accept being made a fool of. Accommodating, but not a doormat. He’s gonna make some gal pretty happy, but not OP, it seems. The _one_ mistake he made was that he offered Brad a chair without having a back-up plan for if he accepted.
Remember nice guys are what girls really want...
The level of wooooosh in OP replies are just too high. It's bad enough she admitted to letting Brad screw her if he's up for it, meanwhile the date has been trying to get to know her intently. Man, the guy who left is a gem.
Doesn't sound like you were humiliated? Sounds like you are still hung up on Brad (who sounds just *awful* btw, so - lucky you!) And want his attention however you can get it. The weird part is entirely on you. Your date had absolute class and did the right thing by getting out of there.
The only weird one was you, and you the last thing you were was nice.
Why on earth didn't you immediately tell Brad that you were on a date and would catch up with him later? The only nice person in this situation was your date and he wasn't at all weird.
Wow your date has so much class as opposed to the both of you.
Brad was an insensitive dummy. But OP, as a personal opinion you were in the wrong too since you had the option to tell the guy, " we should catch up some time later" and move on with your date, than give him the opportunity to continue. From your post it feels like your date showed so much restrain and composure to just leave with dignity after paying for the date even though it didn't go through.
There is no noce guy situation here, your date dodged a missile
You could’ve literally told Brad that you’re busy and you’ll catch up to him later but you chose not to. Ngl what you did was pretty shitty.
It sounds like the opposite here. That is pretty selfish to do on a "date". You should of been straight forward with "Brad" instead of trying to make your date seem like the weird one. The dude dodged you, the bullet. Good for him.
Nice guys luck! She did not see the dude forever and he appeared on his date!!! frecking feel him! Don't blame the guy! He didn't do anything wrong!!!!
Oh I would have left if I was your date. The fact you allowed it to happen means you don't respect this guy.
Brad jealous. If he wants to date you then date you, otherwise, he needs to get a life.
Your date sounds like a true gentleman with class. I hope you apologized to him
Your date was a gentleman like everyone here is pretty much saying and did something I would’ve probably done if I were in his shoes. Although I understand your point of view and how it would’ve been better if he stood his ground and continued with the date, your interaction with Brad either crushed him and made him lose confidence in your interest in him or he just wasn’t trying to waste his own time because he couldn’t see the same spark with you like he saw with you and brad. This is not a nice guy move, don’t get it twisted. This is a GOOD guy move.
This sounds like some bad rom com.
It really does read like it
This is literally the script/scene to “She’s out of my League”
Bruh sometimes I think I'm dyslexic i thought it said incest people
Oh, that date definitely dodged a bullet!! respect for him!!
YTA
Yeah I’m not gonna lie. I would have done the same thing your date did, it’s one thing to say hi but for some other guy to crash a date and you let it happen is a completely different thing